#life probleming

[nondelphic]

"just write the story you want to read!" they said. well, guess what, now i have 14 unfinished drafts because apparently, i want to read 14 different stories at once.

[kookntae4ever]

This is me. Kinda jealous of all the writers who can write quickly because I can't.

[lifeproblemingcat]

As they say, on Wednesdays we wear pink. and even more so during October. like i currently am. I'm not sure if my professor's choice of a satiny fuchsia shirt today was because of this, but still i was somewhat inspired.

it isn't something many people know, but when I was 9, we got the dreaded call.... even though I will always be thankful it was caught before it spread further, it was the first time I'd ever heard my mom cry - not even when my grandmother, her mother, had passed a few years prior. 

around two months later, after surgery, it was officially gone. that day after school I stayed with a family friend who had a family history of it and therefore only bought organic foods for her family, avoiding processed foods as much as possible.  

back then I was surprised people would go to such lengths, but as my mom began to deride everything as "cancer foods!!!" .... I'll just say I have never looked at a hot dog, Halloween candy, or many things the same again. For a while, beet soups and smoothies were commonplace in my house.  ...

Much as I would love to say "and that was that", it wasn't. the medication she took for five years afterward to prevent occurrence in the other side eventually led to her developing a rare blood condition that has been classified as a blood cancer. regular blood draws have somewhat helped, but between western and "traditional" medicine, there isn't really a treatment. 

...

I have performed the occasional self exam since I started going through puberty, like is that something we're supposed to do? no. they don't even tell people to get mammograms until age 40.  Umm... that's that, I guess. 

I'm not going to share everything. but honestly the way people hear about it and say "I'm sorry" makes me feel weird. I hate that we're at a place where I know I am privileged that she is still here, much as our relationship is up and down, and still able to work full time. and I hate that there have been so many people who do not have that privilege. the number increases every day. 

but yes, one of my biggest fears is that I, too, will get it.

so remember. and be aware.

[kensatou]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[jellymellydraws]

AO3 Comments are SO SO SOOOOOOO important because you can only leave Kudos ONCE. You add to the hit count ONCE (every 24 hours).

So whenever someone updates their fic, the ONLY way an author knows who their regular readers are is if they comment on each chapter. And we WANT to know who's still reading.

Believe it or not, some of us think about the name that pops up constantly in the comments and go "omg I can't wait to see what they think of THIS SPECIFIC SCENE cuz I KNOW they'll say something about it!!!"

[nando161mando]

[chokemeyogi]

reassurance kink bc my brain makes me feel unlovable

[lannegarrett]

Writing Advice:

1. Write what's in your heart

2. Wait, hold up

3. THIS is what's in your heart?

4. Dear god

5. Your poor characters.

6. Why is there so much blood and death?

[crazycatsiren]

No no you don't understand! I want to watch this show/movie, read this book, listen to this podcast, etc.! But I must be in the right mindset and the exact head space to begin, or I just can't!

[writersshitpost]

[nondelphic]

“you’re a writer, can you explain your process?” yes. first, i panic. then i procrastinate. then, in a fit of productivity at 3 a.m., i create chaos.

[quinnjgraham]

I know this is the website where we talk about artists and writers doing anything other than making art or writing, but man, we REALLY undersell how good it feels to actually work on your stuff.

Like you hit your word count for the first time in a week and its like

[lifeproblemingcat]

If I've said this before, don't mind me. I'm just existing here anyways.

things i no longer do on ig:

post absolutely random stuff (looking back through my highlights / now archived postes i was like why did i...); look at number of views - or who is included in those viewers; have like counts enabled; actually care about my follower count...

i mean i still use it. after all, "the eternal question of life is, why not?" okay, that was not meant to be serious. but it's not like i don't post trip photo dumps and stuff like that.

anyways. (i refuse to spell it that way, even though it's hilarious to read. :) you know.) i feel like i sound so vain when i say i think i've become a lot more self-aware and conscious of my own habits over the last few years, but...

but maybe i stopped looking at it all like "you must prove you have a life". it's all so shallow to me now anyways, like i don't *actually* care if 90% of them have a single clue what i'm doing with my time. i don't think a lot of my actual friends go on there to begin with.

if it's truly a moment i want to share with those i care about, i often just directly send them pictures. i mean, why not? (i will stop with that some day, i promise.) i still have to vet them for quality purposes, but i don't go around like "ooh yeah i want to post that" or something. who cares?

my carousels, when they exist, are no longer for the audience. after all, as i said, actually experiencing it is worth far more than the picture. well i'm like a massive hypocrite right now - with ~8600 pictures in 2023 and ~7700 with 1.5 months left in this year - but point still being: if you weren't there and wouldn't care enough to think about it, there is no amount of pictures that can pull you into the moment. they're just there for me to look back on, to smile at the memories, to... many things, really. sometimes they're mixed feelings. I don't mean to sound selfish, but aren't we all?

this time i'm not at all trying to make some grandiose claim on what people should do or lament for the 500th time that people aren't listening, i'm just telling it how my life is. I was shocked thinking i hadn't taken many since everything started back up again, but well i surprise myself sometimes.

current "weather": sleepy droopy clouds. (what, is something wrong?)

[esmeraythewriter]

Me, writing something at 1 am: Omg I'm literally a genius this words sound amazing I ate totally whith this one omfg

The writing:

[conphusedredpandaa]

Never forgotten but...never finished.

[disabled-bug]

I’m so proud of people living with chronic health conditions. That shit is HARD. Idk who needs to hear this, but if no one else has said it: I’m proud of you. You’re sticking it out through so much pain and grief. That’s no small feat.

Every small thing you do for yourself health adds up. The grief is heavy and it comes from a place of love. The grief knows the pain is wronging you.

I’m proud of you. I hope on the good days you can be proud of yourself.

Keep going.