#life is short and you are hot
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"We met when it was raining."
"It's the same rain"
#doctor who#david tennant#number 10#tenth doctor#sally sparrow#weeping angles#this episode hurt me#I have till the rain stops#crying#poor sally#life is short and you are hot#ouch#this is me live tweeting while watching the episode with my sister
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me
#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men#and also t.o.p of bigbang#and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want#but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian#''no ur not'' I AM#anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly#what getting a job can do to a mf#thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again#wish me luck#ALSO#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low#but in a new exciting way#anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl#it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot#anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life#sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale#from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor#anyway#who wants me#i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw#in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way#''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men#but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands#''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry#''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am#im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all
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Nightmares and Dreams that Haunt the Night Commander Harukehn - @harukehn
#gw2#guild wars 2#gw2 oc#gw2 sylvari#art#lyhil#harukehn#gore#fantasy gore#suggestive#well. steeples hands. where to begin.#The departing haunts my mind constantly. tyria's hero is killed in a cowardly ambush and they die alone#in a place that is not their home#against a god that is not (always) their own#how long did the hours stretch on before your comrades found you#how long did they grieve you around the incomprehensible doom your death brings upon this realm#if youre a sylvari then youve had five years to experience life#before balthazars sword ensures you do not see another#in harukehns case - it creates an anxiety and a drive to finally allow himself the desires and curiosities he previously shamed himself for#it takes death for him to truly comprehend how short his life could be - and all that he has forbade himself from having#the link between these two pages is that lyhil has carried harukehn like this only twice#once - a broken small body bleeding in his vice grip as he rushed to harukehn to a mender. every step filled with panic.#twice - legs failing after a moment of bliss: far too weak to make it down the snowy mountain from the hot spring they had escaped to#also i enjoyed a lot the focus of a body being so terribly shattered by violence and fear could still mend and be held and appreciated#anyway if you made it to this tag you're a real one#please be appropriate levels of unwell about this else i shall refrain from sharing in future LAUGHS
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Talking with some of my mutuals and wishing I knew them when I was eleven and it was sunny all the time. I think I would have liked playing Pokémon with you all
#sometimes it genuinely hits me how sweet and lovely so many people on here are#and I wish we went to the same schools and sat in the shade during P.E making daisy chains because it was too hot to run#in very short; I love you all. Very much#I'm not too socially competent and I've never really been good at making friends so the fact that I've gotten to meet and talk with such ->#lovely people is amazing to me. I know Tumblr mutuals doesn't equal besties for life of whatever (would that make me parasocial? lol)#but yeah. thank you to any and all my mutuals#don't care if your one of the ones I dm late at night or converses through reblogs tag games and asks or someone I don't talk to at all#you're all very loved#I can attest to that#mel's thoughts
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I saw your Yandere Altdes post, what are your thoughts on a yandere Ezides?
I, of course, do not know which Yandere AltDes you mean because this blog has at least two Yandere AltDes fic ideas (one where Desmond is the yandere and one where Altaïr is the yandere) and the sorta light yandere AltDes fic A Welcoming Darkness XD
So for a yandere EziDes one, let’s make Ezio the yandere and set this during Brotherhood to sprinkle a bit of sugar daddy Ezio in this.
For this one, Ezio’s possessiveness stems from knowing that he is Desmond’s prophet. In many ways, he and Desmond belonged to one another.
Desmond was his the moment Minerva used him to send a message.
And, in Ezio’s eyes, Desmond needs to be protected.
To be loved.
But fair be it for Ezio to clip his wings when he had just started to fly.
And nothing was more beautiful than Desmond enjoying that freedom.
But if… certain nuisance were to disappear before they could annoy Desmond.
Well… no one would say anything about it. They were people who had harmed others before.
And they gave committed the greatest sin of all.
Coveting what was Ezio’s.
#whether desmond knows and finds it hot#or he doesn’t and just thinks his life with ezio is perfectly wholesome (as assassins can be)#is up to you#personally i like the idea of desmond being oblivious until later on#and then there’s a short moment of wtf that turns into omg that’s so hot#lollol#no usual tags because#ezides
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i'm not worthy of your sacrifice
For the lovely @soyzaweels for providing us with that amazing rescue art. I'm always craving some good cradling and hands thank you for being a gift to this fam 💓 (I was typing this yesterday, struck with inspo from your art, and only when i hit "post" i noticed my internet connection was gone… and so was my post 🥲 now i sit here making my second try)
and for Elriel Month 2023. Prompt 6: A Bridge Between Souls @elriel-month
🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇
She’s slowing him.
They both are; Elain and the rescued Child of the Blessed whose name she’s yet to know.
She looks down below at the nefarious enemy camp where she can still see the beasts snarling closer to edge of the hill, chills raising up her arms, the throbbing pain on her foot reminding her of how close one of them came to ripping her limbs apart. The powerful beating of his wings takes them away from the horrible camp fast –her sister doing her best to stable her own appendages– but the piece of land where Prythian's army has stake base is yet to surface in the horizon.
Elain knows he’s barely holding it together. She can hear it in the heaving of his chest, in the quiet grunt escaping from his lips as he adjusts their weight in his arms, can feel the weak burst of power he tries to direct at his wings, can see it in his wounds bleeding into her filthy nightgown. Deep gashes cut his back and wings; the membrane so lacerated she wondered how he was able to fly such distance. How painful it must be.
Out of nowhere, they fall a couple feet, hair ricocheting in front of her eyes. The girl lets out blood-curling screaming. Without even looking at her, Elain tightens her hold on the girl the best she can, watching the sickly paling of his face, cold sweat sliding down his brow. She looks down again. Her throat bobs at the height, nervousness making her tense. It's a nasty fall till she hits the ground, but Elain figures she'll survive. She's immortal now, isn't she? A fall won't kill her. But if she doesn't lower the weight in his arms, he might not make it back to camp.
In the end, it's not really that hard of a decision to make.
Her finger unclasp from the girl's dress, Elain ready to unloop her arms from around his neck.
"Don't." The low command ripples through her body, stopping her.
Bloodshot eyes dart to hers for the thousandth of a second, heavy with lethal determination. Don't you dare let go, they say.
Cobalt light engulfs the three of them, Azriel working harder to keep them airborne.
Azriel's power give out on the outskirts of their camp, still, he manages to land on his feet, arms steeling around her as he staggered a little. Feyre has it worse, tumbling several times on the hard ground, removing large patches of lawn with her.
“I’m okay!” She gives them a thumbs up, spitting grass.
Elain would laugh was she not so worried about Azriel wincing as he tried, and fail, to tuck his shredded wings behind him, the bone bent awkwardly on the left one, dark red blood mingled with the lighter tone of the membranes.
Azriel bent his knees and relaxed the arm securing the Child of the Blessed, allowing the trembling girl to slip to the ground, who quickly stepped away from them, the scent of her fear thick in the air. Elain prepared to follow her.
Her feet never touched the ground, because Azriel straightened again, his free arm coming under the curve of her knees, holding her up to his chest, limping forward. Elain flexes her chained wrists, grazing his wings in her attempt to hold on to his stiff shoulders.
"I can walk."
Azriel can barely detect her voice. Elain might as well be one of his shadows with that soothing tone, trying to placate him as they have been doing since the moment he noticed she was gone.
"I know."
Their whispers are not enough. Not today.
Azriel has no memory of deciding to go in the heart of Hybern camp because it wasn't a choice. The realization is somehow disturbing for a male who's accustomed to be rational about every aspect of his life. He needs to hold her, to feel her, to make sure she’s actually there, safe and unharmed in his arms. Even now, as he holds her, there is an unsettling quietude inside of him, odd anguish clouding his judgment.
As if she can feel his anxiety, Elain buries her face on his chest, repeating the words of her sister. “I’m okay.”
Elain doesn't know how to calm Azriel. She can only hope that her presence does to him, what his does to her.
Her chains glow in a violet shade where they rest against his leathers. Shadows swirl, sliding angrily between the cuffs and her skin, trying to slip them away.
The next thing she knows, Nesta is yelling, tackling Feyre down amidst her tears, and Rhysand is separating them, gently setting her back on her feet.
“We need Helion to get these chains off her.” Azriel rasped, swaying on his feet
Her world stops spinning.
Elain stares and stares at him.
The man that promised to marry her, to spend his life beside her, to love her no matter what, has abandoned her at the first minor inconvenience, yet, this strange fae man, who rapidly turned into an essential part of her life, came for her. Risked his life for a chance to try to save her. Even now he worries for her, who is in perfect condition, more than he worries for himself, who is hurt and bleeding.
A little bud of hope sprouts in the pit of despair that has become her heart.
Elain roses on her toes and kisses Azriel’s cheek.
For the first time since she emerged from the dark waters of the cauldron, Elain feels lucid.
For the first time since she emerged from the dark waters of the cauldron, Elain feels awake.
For the first time since she emerged from the dark waters of the cauldron, Elain feels like there’s a life to be lived even if she’s no longer human.
🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇🌸🦇
One of the things I like the most about the rescue scene, is that we tend to forget that Az was carrying both Briar and Elain! But once they set foot on the ground Briar is walking alongside Feyre, but Az did not let go of Elain. I see you shadowboy. I.see.you....
#elriel#elriel mini fic#i guess#elrielmonth23#elain archeron#elain x azriel#azriel#my writing#for my good friend soyzaweels#(idc if you are elriel we are practically family)#life's too short to not flashback my way around acotar#🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭#my ladies i was trying to finish the 🔥🥵 in time for the last prompt#I'll not make it 🥺#sorry 😔#take this non-hot placebo instead#love yall
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filler doodles about how i comedically whitewashed myself as a child (despite also being the darkest i had and still have ever been in my entire life) because i cannot wrap my head around it
#filler art#my art#i was also short haired at the time so its odd i drew myself as having very long hair but is it any more weird than me whitwashing myself no#i remember i also imagined myself to grow up as a white girl like#HUH??? like i was so convinced i was going to look like all the white main character girls on television ... i had to look like one#all of this was probably because of the lack of representation in tv i could find at the time tbh#BECAUSE THIS WASNT AN ISSUE OF MY DAY TO DAY LIFE NOOOOOO#in here being... moreno?!?! . brown?!?!! EVEN IF LIGHT IS MILES MORE COMMON THAN BEING WHITE#AND ITS SO MUCH MROE SILLIER BECAUSE I WAS MCUH MORE DARK THAN I CURRENTLY AM BACK THEN#as of now im more so lightskinned . nowhere near white but im not very dark either because i dont see rhe sun often ww so im pale#BACK THEN I GOT BURNT ON THE SUN AS A HOBBY im serious i sat on the hot rock floor with burning sun climate bevause it was nice#NOT EVEN THE CURLS COULD BE SAVED I HAD TO PORTRAY MYSELF AS STRAIGHT HAIRED FOR WHATEVER REASON#like on my defense i did straighten my hair out a lot as a young child but THAT LASTED LIKE 2 DAYS EVERY TIME#so 90% i was curls so its funny#ALSO WHY DID WE CALL THE CREAM COLOR “THE SKIN COLOR” WHAT#like. it wasnt just me . whole elementary school knew if you asked for rhe skin color you talkin about thay#any tone of brown simply did not work I DONT KNOW WHY WE WERE ALL LIKE THIS???#thankfully at the age of 10 i realized i infact had melanin but .. i coudlnt accept i had black hair still💀💀#so my skin and hqir color were always the same in portrayals ITS SO FUNNY IM SORRY#I FIDN THIS INSANELY FUNNY IM SO SORRY#dont feel too concerned i wasnt ashamed of my skin color or anything but i had the warped idea i would look white soon#not if you keep cooking youself in the sun you wont /j#i dont know what to say about how i draw myself now a days i dont draw myself as myself but i know i aint white now its okay 🩷 (/hj)
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why is job hunting.
that's it that's the post
#this is both radicalizing me even more & absolutely harshing my mellow#why. do i need. to communicate with a 'virtual assistant'. to apply at hot fucking topic#you know? maybe i Dont need to apply there. who wants em#everywhere is like you need This This and This#oh look an entry level job! aaaand i need a thousand certifications#Excuse Me Where Do People Who Have Done Nothing With Their Life Thus Far Apply???#why do jobs exist. why cant we all just vibe huh#each application feels like a new death sentence#cant wait to work myself into the ground for a company that views me as nothing but an easily replaceable part! yeehaw!#cant wait to sacrifice my personal time / hobbies / wellbeing for a nine-to-five 5 days a week job i hate!#absolutely unprompted#this world we live in is miserable and infuriating and i want to SHAKE PEOPLE#fucking!! look outside!!! value yourself!! the company is not your family!! they are not worth dying for!! we are all worth so much more!!#gonna go out in the middle of a field and SCREAM#humans are made for art and kindness and for enjoying the short life we're forced into#why make an already doomed existence even worse huh.#why subject ourselves to that. we deserve better. our pasts deserve better. our futures deserve better.#sorry sorry im just. ARGH. this world!!! this life!!! could be so good!!!#but late stage capitalism rampant corruption among Many Other Issues said noooooooo#happiness is illeeegallllll#what if i BITE you. huh. what then. die#every time i sit down to apply i have to actively Not Think About It or i'll delete all my tabs and stop before i start#we as humans are not built for this life... we did not evolve proclivity for kindness and art just to stress ourselves to death#over silly jobs that do Not require the level of dedication we are forced to apply#abolish the 5 day 40+ hour work week... decrease the horrifying amount of funding given to cops and the military... etc...#i think i need to go lie down for a minute im feeling Too Much Anger at the absolute state of things#so happy to be an american. (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm)
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being in a fandom where the fans actively believe themselves to be superior to the author sucks lmao remind me not to do this again
#honestly i will never understand fandoms where ppl actively dislike the source material#life is short#get into something you like#today's hot take#it's a pity that JKR poisoned the HP fandom's ability to function the way it used to#but either separate the art from the artist or move on#i promise writing harry as gay isnt hurting her feelings as much as you hope it is
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I don't know anything anymore
Do you think this fandom will ever stop making fun of short people
#heightism is strong with this one#this was literally my first thought in the morning and i have. a bad day so you have to read it now#sorry i had a series of very bad days and i dont care about anything anymore#if you think it is funny to call someone shorter than you “pocket sized” then maybe check your privilege#and maybe accept that short men can be hot and there is nothing weird about it#idk idk all my life ive been attracted to shorter guys and you probably have no idea how scarred most of them are#people come in all shapes and sizes and if you find it funny then it would be nice to keep it to yourself#it's 2024 already and how how how are people still not used to this
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I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.
#also honestly had NO IDEA that real converse have that star logo on the INSIDE not the outer part??? why the hell would you want it on the#inner portion where nobody can see it?? my entire life I always would have sworn it was on the outer facing portion..#I think these would be perfect IF they were just slightly taller (top part higher above ankles instead of just weird hard material digging#right into your ankle whenever you walk) and if they were actual good platforms. they're so short. It's good that 'chunky' shoes are gettin#more popular as they've always been my favorite Look ever since I had these shoes with roller skates that pop out of thebottom (not heelys.#but like. before those. it was two whole entire roller skate wheels like a normal pair of roller skates) and the bottoms were so tall and#clunky and it made my feet look giant (because it had.. entire wheels in the bottom pockets lol). so#I've alwatys been into the aesthetic but . still I find a lot of the 'brands jumping on trend' are too short of platforms#OR they're plafrorms with a raised back/heel/wedge which to me is not aesthetically good and also makes them exceptionally uncomfortable to#wear compared to just plain completely flat chunky platform bottoms. ANYWAY.. if these shoes had a 3 or 4 inch platform I think they'd be#cooler. however for what they are it's still fine! and I like them more now that they actually have some sort of anything to them and#aren't just plain white. The weird thing is that the material it's made out of (maybe some sort of leather or something) absorbs sharpie?#the color changes over time. You draw a mark and then leave it for a few days and it either fades into being barely there or has changed#colors. so I had to go back in and redo parts. ALSO the shoe chains are so funny because I did NOT have the right tools for them#I don't have the stuff to make bracelets or open and close the little rings. they're held onto the shoe with just safety pins and the actua#little rung things that hold the charms on half of them are like broken or the metal is just jam smushed together bent and warped hhbjhjhb#I actually like the back a lot where there's the irridecent star thing hot glued on there. it's cool and shiny. and the clouds#are sparkly on the main parts of the shoe though I'm not sure how well it shows up in pictures#ANYWAY... shoegs..... If I were rich this is one of the things I would definitely custom order from craftsman#why would I spend like thousands of dollars on plain ass shoes that are just expensive because they're a Luxury Brand when I could literall#like pay people to create me custom shoes to my exact specifications?? I could have like 5 inch flat platform boots with fur andclouds#and cat shaped holes in the bottom with LEDs in them with pom pom and charms and etc. etc. etc. Like as gaudy and excessively over#decorated as I want lol.. AND they could have skates in the bottom somehow!! ghjgbhjb#this on top of all the custom wizard costumes and period clothing I would order.. Like i LOVE customizing things. I love everything in my l#life being as particualr as possible and cultivating every experience I have to meticulously meet my own specific criteria as much#as is possible. If I had the money to I would never buy something from a store again. EVERYTHING I owned from furniture to clothing#would be either made by me - or mostly - comissioned from craftsmen. custom tiles for my floors. custom bed. custom table.#even like. custom toilet. custom sinks. etc. etc. ouGGH... but yeah.. anyway... shoes..
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DETAILS?!? PLS//
so I’ve known this girl for like two years, we met at uni, and she’s rlly nice. we’re really close and do a lot of stuff together (yes, I feel bad about doing this behind her back 😭). we’re in a lot of the same classes, so when we have an assignment or have to study, we meet up, and do it together. a few days ago, she invited me over to her place to study. who opens the door when I get there? the most delicious man I’ve ever seen in my lifeeee. man is 6’7, puerto rican, biceps the size of my head and has sleeve tattoos 😖😖 he’s like 43/44, I think? we eventually settled in their dining room to study, and from there, you can see into the living room if that makes sense. so I was waayy more focused on watching him than my studies. we were constantly flirting every time he ‘checked on us’ or if I saw him in the kitchen or hallway. did I act stupid so he could help me? abso-fucking-lutely. (he’s so smart which instantly makes him ten times hotter) anyway, it got really late and I got an uber there, so he offered to drive me back home. long story short, we started making out when we arrived at my apartment, and I ended up giving him head in the car 😭. I told him that I’m a virgin, so we exchanged contacts so he can, and I quote, “take my time with you”. so yeah, he’s coming over tomorrow to blow my back outt LMAOO. this happened like a few days ago, so he’s been teasing me endlessly on the phone 😪😪. plus, my bsf knows there’s a guy bc she saw the hickeys on my neck, she just doesn’t know that the guy is her dad 😬. I’m sorry, but he TALKED ME THROUGH ITTT. like I can’t not hook up with him 😭
PSA!!! before anybody says anything, he’s divorced and single. I’m 21, and I only JUST met her dad, so he didn’t know me as a child 💀
Okay firstly, a disclaimer; I know you’re an adult and you can make your own decisions. But I just have to say this, bc I’ve been staring at this ask for a while now thinking of how to answer it, PLEASE DO THINK THIS THROUGH! And yeah, maybe I’m being a party pooper but do think it through and if definitively yes, then go for it girlie!!! I know you are a legal, consenting adult. But yeah pretend I’m like your older sister with your best interests at heart bc this is what I’d tell any friend or cousin of mine who is 21!
EDIT: I FORGOT TO SAY THAT MUSCULAR PUERTO RICAN DADDY DILF WITH TATTOOS SOUNDS LIKE THE DILFIEST DREAM DOME TRUE BESTIE FR 😭😭😭🥵🥵
#but also…. WHY ARE ALL YOU ANONS SKIMMING OVER THE MAIN DETAILS?!?#‘long story short we made out in the car’#GIRL????#HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?#how did it get to that??#who made the first move#yall conveniently leaving out the juiciest details 😭😂 or skimming over them#anon#EDIT: reading over this again and I really hope I don’t come across as rude or condescending that’s not my intention at all!!!#girlie live your best life !!! I just feel an obligation to tell you to think things through#and if you have then honestly ignore me live your best dilf life!!!!#the way you described him was rlly hot too girl likeee 🥵
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it is so unbelievablely fucking cold rn come on man it's september
#it's like 65 I've lived in warm states all my life this is inhumane (<- loves the cold)#EXCEPT ALL OUR WINTER CLOTHES ARE PACKED RIGHT NOW SO I'M IN SHORTS AND A T SHIRT#I HAVE ONE (1) SWEATSHIRT#if you saw me rbing any “it’s so fucking hot” posts in these past few months I was lying to you all btw#I'm in north carolina and have been for months it's never hot#I just related to the sentiment more generally as a florida resident
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positivity cancelled i hate my life again
#i forgot how much of a DRAGGGG the middle of the semester is#and it’s so fucking hot still that i think it’s actually starting to affect my outlook on life like i need SEASONS are you kidding me#i moved here so i wouldn’t kill myself from seasonal depression in the pnw and now i just wanna kill myself in a different way like .#ok it's not nearly as bad lets be real but im still annoyed#also fall semester SUCKS bc there’s no mid semester break. only stupid thanksgiving#which is literally a week and a half before winter break anyways like what’s the POINT#and i’m just horrifically bored. yeah it’s the boredom again. always#maybe i should get in another lesbian situationship turned unbearable short lived relationship just to feel something#or maybe i should just be normallllll and make more friends and plan more things to look forward to but no.. that would be silly 😐
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still got an occasional gross cough and a bunch of anxiety over being back at work with a certain horribly exhausting person but prolonging the stress will prob make it worse so I might as well go back to work tomorrow.
I stress cleaned everything in my flat today except the piles of washed clothes and unwashed dishes so things are back to normal once more, and then I sorted out all the stuff for upcoming project + exam prep and packed my bag for tomorrow and laid out clothes so I'm as ready as I can be.
gonna be exhausted tho bc it's already 11 pm and I gotta be up by 4:30 am at the latest if I wanna be at work at my usual time. I don't have to be there at 6:30, I could go there at 9 or 10 even but then I would have to stay late and deal with people right away, which is a strong hell nah for me
#we'll see how it goes. if I end ul feeling like utter shit in the morning or the cough gets worse again as it has been kinda#then I'll just divert to going to the doc instead. maybe ask for another day or two. it'll be a short week anyway#since the 3rd is a national holiday and most ppl will take the following day off to have a long weekend#so we'll see. gonna go with my gut on this. either way. and try to fight against the anxiety bc it'll just escalate again if I let it#today was proof enough of that. cleaning the entire place bc of nervous energy is a clear sign that I'm not doing so hot#but as therapy teaches you: recognising the pattern is the first step in changing it. so all that's left is adjusting behaviour#can't fix her attitude and her lack of care about anyone else and her disregard of other people's emotions#all I can do is focus on the rest of the bunch bc they're wonderful folks and on the work since there's plenty to do#esp with the project time starting now. I really gotta get on that. I have a week and a half to figure out the practical aspects etc#and I'm sure I'll be returning to a bunch of emails and messages and unfinished tasks rip#all the more reason to be there early as usual so I can take some time to get back on track#a day in the life of..
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