#life is fucking great
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btw happy fucking pride. FINALLY i am getting what i deserve
#i just hooked up with someone i had a lil crush on for the past month or so#life is fucking great#and i’m starting to unlock top tendencies…#🍯
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Scrolling through my screenshots looking for a pic of a haircut I like and I found this
Aaaaaaaanyway
Here’s the link if anyone else wants to watch the game.
#gmmtv starlympic#sea tawinan#badminton#I’m a full grown-up#ya see it all started in the winter of 2018. I saw a queer graphic novel at the uni book store & thought ‘that looks neat but I gotta run’#but I keep thinking about it so I googled at and Woh And Behold the whole thing was on tumblr for free#that was where it all began and now i’m posting a low res pic of some badminton abs#life is fucking great#shout out to#omg check please#and#ngozi#if you got this far I’m gonna tell you a secret:#that scene of Day at badminton practice was spicy and if I ever learn how to high res gif that’ll be my first one
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guess who just scored the illest of ill, vintage, six disc dvd player with super deep sentimental value to them? that’s right, it’s me, baby!
#life is fucking great#brb while i go buy a box set of the og star wars trilogy and prequels and put all six discs in the player at once#it’s not blu-ray but like six disc storage is so much cooler tbh
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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really into the canon fact that hua cheng is like a 1950s housewife who sets an alarm 1 hour before his husband wakes up just so that he can make himself presentable, do his morning skincare routine, take his overnight curls out, slip his eyepatch on, etc. and then he slides back into bed right as xie lian is waking up and does a fake little yawn as if he only just woke up like that and goes "good morning, gege :)"
#an absolute fucking diva....#and it really is canon!#the extra where xl saw him when he wasn't prepared and hc was like “great. this is now the worst fucking day of my life!” lskdjflsk#hua cheng#tgcf#hualian
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If you're up for it could you explain what is making the Germany government stuff so funny? I can find news articles about it (a coalition is dissolving? There's been tension for a while?) but they're all fairly serious. Thx!
ohhh, sure thing! i'll do my best!
i'll say upfront: this is a pretty serious thing to happen. our chancellor fired our minister of finance, Lindner, which definitively breaks up the governing coalition. germany will likely have snap elections at a moment in which far-right parties are polling extremely well. if news coverage about it seems like people are Worried, that's because, well, they are.
however. the reason it's funny is because our minister of finance was fired. ministers aren't really... ever fired. like, it's not a done thing. i'll fully admit i didn't even know it was an option until yesterday. and our minister of finance wasn't just anyone, he was one of the most mocked and hated figures in politics to germans who vote anywhere left of center.
the coalition that governed until yesterday was made up of the green party, the social democrats, and the neoliberal party (FDP). the FDP is infamous (and i mean, my parents already raised me to hate them for that) for playing kingmaker in coalition governments: they never get all that many votes, but they get just enough that whoever they agree to form a government with will probably succeed. they then tend to force extreme concessions from their coalition partners, because hey, if we walk off, you can't govern at all! so you better play along!
for the past three years, this behaviour has been extremely frustrating for germans who voted for greens or social democrats, because policy from their faction was constantly being blocked by the FDP and often by Lindner personally. the FDP received 11,5% of votes in 2021, but to many of us, it felt as if they were the only party who really had any say in the governing coalition. it made the green and social democratic coalition partners look spineless and passive.
and now, i invite you to imagine how on the day of the US election results, the day the whole world rolled their eyes at the sheer fucking stupidity and pointlessness of it all, at NINE IN THE EVENING, just as germans are getting ready to settle in to bed to dream of nightmare global politics -
the news suddenly breaks that our notoriously invisible chancellor just decided to fire Lindner for that exact behaviour. this chancellor comes out and says, on camera, to the entire sleepy nation, that acting the way Lindner did - blocking necessary policies, refusing to approve budgets unless his party's interests were met - was childish, selfish, irresponsible, and unfit for government, so, whoops, he had to go. shame. coalition over, i guess.
so, politically, that was a long-needed but never-expected moment of triumph for those of us who think the FDP is a clown show made up of human TESLA shares, and it came at a hysterically funny moment.
on a personal level, i can barely explain how uniquely hateable Lindner has always been. he's what would happen if a stock index graph came to life. he hates poor people with a relish; he mocks welfare recipients and would ax minimum wages in a second. he's everyone's business major roommate who shows up in boat shoes fresh off a yacht to discuss NFTs with you. throughout the entire time that he's used his rich boy policy blackmail strategy, he's been smug about it, and he was never taken to task for it, and millions of germans have been longing to throw rotten fruit in his face since 2017. and now we finally get to do it. via memes. on the day of trump's election win.
so that's why it's funny.
#like the cocktail of emotions that Hit last night is utterly indescribable#our chancellor is FAMOUS for not speaking. like that's his whole thing. i've heard him say words maybe twice before#and suddenly there he is. bald. hamburgian. fresh from what must have been the most horrific 15 hour workday of his life.#and just comes out and tells the most annoying bug of a human being in his coalition to fuck off. dare we say iconic#but yeah on the whole things are looking pretty bad 🥰 i'm just a hater so this is great for me#hope this makes sense anon! sorry it's a lot of words!#asks#anon#germany#politics#< for blacklisting purposes lmao
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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george rexstrew deserves awards for many things but i have to say. edwin’s bloodcurdling scream as niko gets killed deserves a whole award unto itself. like. that scream did not feel at all like a tv show scream. to a somewhat jarring degree. and i can’t express how much I respect that
#he has a number of very convincing screams and suffering noises which I imagine was an important prerequisite for the role#but this one is just especially chilling and again. jarring. not saying that the other actors are bad or anything but no one even comes#close to competing with george and its stark in moments like this#another screaming moment that I thought he did really well in particular is far easier to gloss over and that’s#when he and charles are escaping hell and he almost gets dragged down into lust#when he’s screaming out for charles he borderline SCREECHES#throughout that arc in general it’s just incredible but yeah#I think part of what makes it so convincing is that he isn’t afraid to be high pitched and genuinely Scream rather than yell#like. he is clearly immune to being put off by ‘you scream like a girl’ rhetoric#I think a lot of male actors avoid screaming and screeching like that for that internalized reason when. if you wanna be as realistic as#possible. a scream is high pitched. if you’re scared for your fucking life it’s just involuntary#I can also see it being uncommon due to difficulties getting that sound adequately recorded but yeah anyway you get my point#tldr: george rexstrew is great at disturbingly realistic screaming and I applaud him for that#I really hope he didn’t have to retake that part too many times..#his poor throat……….#george rexstrew#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers
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okay so alighterwood started playing twisted wonderland which not only reminded me that i have to finish my twst wonderland jurrassic ayuu fic but ALSO gave me brain rot for Tim Drake in twisted wonderland do you see the vision. im looking directly into your eyes oh so autistically do you see my vision. im communicating telepathically do you see what i'm saying here
#he would own that school within 2 days#crowley would not stand a fucking chance#tim is the most likely to go villain (yes i do in fact know jason is right there but consider: that was extenuating circumstances)#and he would get along with literally all of the idiots on that campus#he canonically is great at making friends and getting btiches#like oh the guy that is only not a villain because he hyperfixated on on a hero? that guy gets along with a campus of ppl his age?#that are inspired by villains?#soooo crazy#wouldn't have seen that coming#not to mention he'd think of this as a vacation#imagine he gets teleported right as soon as he finds out condiment king was starting shit somewhere#he would go “oh thank god actually”#then proceed to spend the year 1) missing his friends but 2) having the time of his life messing with these people#Vil would love him#im just saying#they'd be fast friends#tim would be a pomefiere student if this was another au#erinwantstowrite#tim drake#twisted wonderland#digital art#doodles#twst grim
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he got sooo dramatic after getting to date mo smh
#19 days#tianshan#he tian#like alright we get IT youre head over heels get over itt no need to show it to the WORLD..#really if mo still hasnt got tired of his drama queen ass then you know its for life LMAOO#also fuck.. im ashamed to admit it but as i was rereading the last few chapters to compile this post-#i was giggling soo much it was embarrassing.. 19 days really got me on a chokehold.. shits HILARIOUS#i KNOW most people are mad bc the pacing is not all that great but im DYING of laughter likee QIU WAS FUCKING MISERABLE LMFAOO
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MAKING YOU MAD
#abuse k1nk#big bootie#big round butt#cock sucking lips#dick suckers#fuck my face#fuck my wet pussy#girl butts#goal#great butt#fuck my life#fuckyeah#so fucking sexy#suck my tiddies#suckable nips#submisive and breedable#spank my pussy#spank my ass#spank me daddy#spankable bottom#spank me pls#fuckmyass#lick my ass#lick my pussy#lick my toes#lickable toes#big juicy ass#big tiddy gf#big tiddy committee#eat my butt
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ladies, do you hate shaving? you wish you didn't have to go through all that work before every date night? want to wear shorts or a swimsuit or just exist in public without it being a whole ordeal of exhaustion, self harm, and emotional stress? do you put yourself through hell solely to keep up the illusion that you have zero body hair? great news, we have a solution!
"is it to surround yourself with people who don't care about body hair?"
no!!
"is it to improve my personal stigma against body hair by accepting its beauty on others?"
no!!!!!!!
"does it involve me getting to stop shaving at all?"
of course not!!!!!!!!!! ITS AN INSANE ALTERNATIVE SHAVING PRODUCT! ITS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN RAZORS, TAKES JUST AS LONG, AND AND ITS WEIRD! BUY OUR HANDHELD LASER POWERED PINK TAXED MAGIC LEG SHAVING THINGIE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS!! USE IT TO GET RID OF THAT UGLY LEG HAIR YOU HIRSUTE FREAK! YOURE NOT NATURAL YOURE NOT NORMAL IF YOU DONT LIKE SHAVING THEN YOU *NEED* TO USE THIS BRAND NEW THERAPY WAX TWEEZER BEAM RADIATION BLISTER WAND PROCESS!!!! YOU HAVE TO CHARGE IT! IT'LL GET RID OF THAT HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HAIR WITHOUT ALL THE CUMBERSOME STRUGGLES OF HAVING TO SHAVE - THATS RIGHT, THIS PRODUCT GIVES YOU BRAND NEW CUMBERSOME STRUGGLES TO ADD TO YOUR ALREADY JAM PACKED MORNING ROUTINE OF SHIT YOU HAVE TO DO TO YOUR STUPID WOMAN BODY BEFORE YOU LET ANYBODY OUT IN THE REAL WORLD SEE IT
NOW WITH ESSENTIAL OILS
#venty jokes aside#pls for the love of god if u do ANY kind of beauty or 'self care' treatment that you fucking hate to your core#PLEASE consider stopping for a little while and gauging how it improves your life#you can go back to doing it if you just prefer your appearance that way or feel safer or need to pass or any other reason but just.#FEEL what its like to not#see how much more time and energy you have for the things youre getting ready FOR#and then decide if its actually worth it#do YOU actually care about this part of your appearance enough to invest time and money into it?#or is it only because you think you have to#great news for real: you simply do not have to. whether people care or not.
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#anthony's like#ok go be great honey#ill be here waiting when you want to fuck#as always#living his best life as a one woman himbo#bridgerton#kanthony#anthony x kate#kate and anthony#kate bridgerton#kate x anthony#kate sharma#kate sheffield#anthony and kate#anthony bridgerton#kathony#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton season 3 episode 5
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so draw your blade, you wretched fiend and let's you and i fight like the dishonourable dogs we are savage, violent, yet free and when the curtain calls, let me put you out of my misery
#mak art#mak draws aa#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#tgaa#dga#tgaa spoilers#dgs spoilers#kazuma asogi#kazuma asougi#barok van zieks#klint van zieks#genshin asogi#genshin asougi#artists on tumblr#OW MY FUCIKIGN HAND#i took like a whole month on this. working on and off#never hyperfixate on a series set in the 20th century that makes u wanna draw in a style ur not good at#worst mistake of my life#i referenced a lot of chiaroscuro stuff for this#'the fallen angel' painting was used as ref for barok too#wanted to fit in a stronghart motif but#couldn't make it work w/o cluttering the whole thing tbh. so#(looking at bvz and kaz) ohhh they hate each other so much......... but they're mislead........ ohhhhhhh#also i hope to Never fucking draw or paint dogs again. Horrible#theres more stuff on the way. probably#one's a video but. i gotta rest first. im gonna Die#anyways. enjoy gang
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I should never have made you.
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#neverafter#neverafter spoilers#d20#d20 spoilers#pinocchio#fanart#my art#there are so many great moments this new episode#but i can’t help but keep on thinking about this#i am so fucking not okay#what is your immense regret#in the face of this child’s life#that you gave#now tatters on the floor
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that fucking flower i hate
#writing chara is hard and im probably not great at it#im also still never sure of if i should draw flowey crying#im not sure if he expresses that way#anyway whatever#also if it wasnt clear the first one is a joke#if i want i will draw flowey replacing all that trash back down on the floor to cancel it out#anyway#thinking about flowey DOES fuck me up still#you accidentally kill yourself and take your best friend in the world with you#and its your fault. you disobeyed their judgement. it would have been so easy#but you aren't allowed to just die about it#instead your forced to live out the rest of your infinite life in the form of the thing they loved most#every day a reminder of what you did#anyway sorry#dami's art#undertale#utdr#undertale fanart#flowey#flowey the flower#chara dreemurr#chara undertale#asriel#asriel dreemurr
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