#lex plays games

[arkangelo-7]

I bet that Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake, as the Batfamily’s resident corporate America breadwinners, have to occasionally go play a round of golf to keep up appearances with WE shareholders. The only problem is that they’re both fucking terrible at golf.

And when I say they’re bad, like, holy shit, they are really bad. For two people who often have to save the universe with their intelligence, concentration, and ability to effectuate incredibly complex, precision-reliant plans, they are both somehow really, really fucking awful at golf of all things.

Bruce, at least, has the Brucie Wayne disguise to hide how absolutely awful he is at golf. Which totally works for him, because he hates the reminder that he is inherently terrible at something. So, whenever he’s dragged out for a round with Lucius and the WE board members, he just pretends to get super drunk, act a little more clumsy then normal, and hits on the caddy until everyone just writes him off as too much of an ditz to put any effort into his golf swing. It drives Lucius nuts, because he actually likes golf and he thinks Bruce is just pretending to be bad as part of his cover for Batman—there is at least one occasion where he asks Bruce to show a little more decorum on the course and actually try to play, and Bruce just… blue screens. Because in reality he is actually horrible at golf and he needs the excuse of “dumbass Brucie Wayne” or his ego will implode.

Tim, however. Poor Tim.

Tim, unfortunately does not get to play the idiot to cover up his absolute shit golf game. (There is only so much room in the family for idiots and he has to keep up appearances as Jack and Janet Drake’s son.) As such, he avoids any and all golf courses as much as possible—but everyone once in a while there’s a potential merger or business deal he needs to discuss with someone important, and the best way to get the deal done is on a golf course. So Tim has to spend the next three and a half hours of his life torturing himself through a round of golf. (He ends up losing twelve balls, taking seven swings on a Par 3, somehow broke his putter, and tripped into a bunker.) The only upside is that his pure determination to actually finish the round, despite how godawful he is, is usually what actually convinces the investors/partner/board members agree to work out a deal with him.

But it’s best (or worse) when Bruce and Tim play golf together. It isn’t often—stories of their infamously terrible golf games means that most people will only invite one of them at a time—but inevitably they do end up on a course together at one point, and holy fuck, it is a miracle they don’t burn the place down.

[mamawasatesttube]

perry with some words of wisdom in superman: lex 2000 ("just because this country is about to go to hell in a handbasket doesn't mean this newspaper does, too!") (and we are all the newspaper, really.)

[shiresome]

I love the way you draw lex so bad. do u have any lex headcanons question mark….

THANK YOU THATS SO SWEET!! Yes I have one Lex headcanon: he is my best friend forever and ever

[hermesserpent-stuff]

[german-garbage]

I'm playing Arkham Origins (on the ps3) and this game is so criminally underrated/overhated. Currently at the part with the whole montage of Joker explaining how falling in love with Batman changed him completely. This is by far the gayest Batman game I've ever played and I played the Telltale games.

[adhdstudybitch]

I went on a deep dive into night owl research at like 2 am and actually cried? Bad tears. Tears of "we're perfectly normal yet the entire world is build around morning people, tells us that we're lazy, lies and says that we're harming ourselves if we follow our bodies natural sleep patterns, causes us to live in sleep deprivation our entire lives, and treats being a night owl like it's a moral failing. Most advice for night owls is how to fix your sleep schedule, how to become a morning person, how to be a productive member of society by doing something that will result in you never feeling rested, moving through the world with constant fatigue and brain fog, cognitively impaired because you're always functioning on a deficit."

Until a month ago, I had never known what it felt like to wake up well rested. I've spent the last three years trialing too many sleep medications to count, doing sleep cbt where my sleep hours have been meticulously tracked, restricted to night time, three different sleep studies, and after all that I'm just a night owl. The first week I let myself go to bed when I actually got tired and wake up without an alarm (to see when I'd naturally wake up) was the first time I experienced true restfulness in my life. And what do you know? My body's natural rhythm kicked in, and now I go to bed at 3:30 (sometimes 4:30) and naturally wake up at 11:30, and I feel good! I'm sleep the exact same amount of hours as before (with the help of ambien) but everything is different.

It feels weird and good, but I also feel so angry and cheated. You mean I could have had this my whole life, but you built the world around working 9-5, made waking up at 6 am a badge of honor, and shoved everyone into the same patterns even though it's fucking biology??? No, night owls can't be "trained" to become morning people. Leave us alone.

I had fantasies last night of opening a night owl "cafe", someplace we could go when the rest of the world slept. Holding book clubs and meet ups and trivia and all that fun shit. Expanding to include a night time corner store next door with your basic groceries and household necessities. Hours of operation 8 pm - 6 am. What a difference that would make!

[honeybeebabs]

darts! :D

(clearly i couldn't fit everyone in there, i would have crashed my phone trying to do so LMAO-)

[snackugaki]

oh y'all thought i was kidding, huh?

(h elp)

EDIT: ... you lucky 10,000 gonna know who the kids from Fort Greene are.

And if y'all wanted to see what we were watching in the early and mid 90s? Here you go:

It had everything, stilted acting so the kids at home can solve a case with the cast before Dora ever put on her li'l backpack, shirts so blousy and long you could hide a circus in 'em, what people thought surfing and chatting on the web was like, people typing that slow back in the day, Salt N Pepa was on this show, a yoooung Julia Stiles, motherfuckin' Samuel L. Jackson played Jamal's dad for an episode

and just for them's that didn't know: Trio and their clan roosted in Manhattan, Spidey is a guy from Queens, Brooklyn got the TMNT and the GW Team

Ghostwriter taught me about cyphers, wordplay, puns and it's rolled downhill from there. UvU ehe

[randomnameless]

Drankengard done (land 2!)

A lot of nice things in this part, so far it feels like the most FE-like land, and some characters from this land are really interesting!

l firstly love how the plot starts with "we have to rescue this midget prince from 100k soldiers" in one of the few defend maps of this game with various catapults and other engines to attack/defend against a cluster of loldiers coming at you - that was nice compared to the nigh useless ballistas and other engines in FE.

Granted, Gilbert's defining moment after being revealed is basically protecting his vassal from a gotoh-like character who's twice his size and more or less recruiting her for the defend map -

(localisation thingie : no "kisama" for eng/fr script Gilbert, sure it's kind of complicated to put it in words - like an agressive "you" - and yet it gives some nice characterisation, after Amalia rekts Leah and while Gilbert is standing seconds before being surrounded by 100k peons in front of someone who's basically stronger than anyone else around, he is still angry and pissed for his friend's sake) -

Just before being upset at asking our party - aka a foreign nation who was at war with his for the last few decades and revealing that his dad only granted asylum to the princess of said foreign nation to marry her to his heir to conquer it later on - for help.

Hopefully for him his game is no Triangle Strategy, so no one will actually tell him to eat shit because he wasn't the one who liberated the land even if he participed to instead worship the "foreign" person who led the liberation army.

Hell, idk what kind of PR campaign Gilbert and his few loyal soldiers pulled out, but some NPCs are really acting as if he liberated his kingdom single handedly lol

His relationship with his elder brother was sort of developed in the main plot - but more in the equivalent of the support convos - but as I said in another post, I really loved that part where he feels like he's still a second prince, and if his older brother returns, older brother should get the crown even if older brother feels like dirt for failing his country and his father, and became a wandering... mercenary who's busy saving priestresses from jails (and leaving them in the middle of battlefields).

Ultimately, they reunite and more or less solve their issues, and Ludwig manages to tell him that he wouldn't be half the king Gilbert is, because Gilbert is the one who led a rebellion and ultimately led Drakengard free, is loved by this people etc etc.

TBH, while it was short, this was a nice character arc -

(complete with the support/rapport convo just after the final map I unlocked where Gilbert, wanting to know how the common people live in his kingdom, gets plastered with the a random worthless bandit/merc who's freaking out from the entire situation lol)

The other major character from Drakengard is Virginia, the MC's older cousin!

We first see her being kind of pushy and overbearing, sometimes taking the initiative to do rather extreme stuff (wanting to fetch her axe instead of recruiting the earlier worthless bandit/merc), but she's still deferring to the MC, save for a certain mission - because, and kuddos to the game for going there, while Virginia's story is basically a tragic Marth's, aka, when her kingdom was invaded she had to run away to a foreign state for asylum but without any Jeigan, she believed for 10 years and never stopped believing that she was the only one who survived, and thus it was her role and duty to restore the Cornian line on the throne and take back the country from the evil Empire.

And... MC pops up, as the rightful - aka the son of the late queen as opposed to her mere niece - heir thus Virginia's hopes of becoming the Queen and the one to restore her nation vanish.

So kuddos for the game to basically have Virginia tell her cousin that while she was happy to see him and learn he was alive after all those years... she also felt jealous, because the 10 last years she spent having this dream and hope to be the one to restore the country... vanished in 10 minutes lol.

She's not going to challenge Alain's claim to the throne and instead will support him.

Granted, this moment becomes ten times more interesting if you do her own mission before - aka the one where she zerg rushes against the dude who slaughtered her retinue against the advice of Jeigan Joseph and becomes a dreaded green unit (who loses her promotion somehow???), running in a battlefield full of catapults to have her vengeance.

Remember when I said one of her first defining moments is when she asks to be handed her axe to get rid of a worthless merc instead of recruiting him? Well, her words back then were something like "your men died for you, so you can't beg for your life" or something like that, we learn in her own mission that she was basically talking about herself.

Basically, kid!Virginia was supposed to have her Jeigans and Cain/Abel/Draugs and they were supposed to escape and run away together to Drakengard... but they were slaughtered by some general of the evil empire who thought bringing her head would make a good offering to the evil emperor, so the Jeigans, Cains, Abel, Draugs etc etc laid down their lives to allow her to escape - we have a voiced FB with a few images and a battle cinematic, where the knights basically say they will die to make sure she'll be able to escape, and will slow down the evil general with their corpses if needed.

The entire platoon of knights died, and Virginia has been carrying this trauma for ten years, dreaming of having her revenge but never once confiding in anyone from Drakengard about it - not even in her (Gilbert's) vassal Leah who she seemed to be close too earlier.

Short story, the general holds a fort and is supposed to be called back to the evil empire's capital for some reason, and instead of waiting for his departure to recapture the fort, Virginia storms at the general to have her revenge (accompanied by the knights who were just squires when she had to leave, and thus couldn't be there when their senior knights were slaughtered and want revenge as much as she does!).

You have to send Joseph to talk to her to have her turn blue again (and promoted again thank gods) and the re-recruitment scene is cool for 2 things :

1/it's Joseph, not Alain who talks to her because her beef and the one who talked to her and the one whose plan is ignored is Joseph - I love it when the MC isn't at the center of everyone's universe

2/Virginia during this convo notices her friends/knights are injured (they have the injured sprite) and realises she was going to send to their death the last remaining members of that platoon, chastises herself and her next battle lines are something like "I won't let them die/bleed anymore" or something and it's fucking powerful because hey, besides some "vengeance is empty" that she will get later on herself, part of what makes her see reason is the realisation that her allies are injured and were going to die in her quest, and she can't have that anymore (nice ludonarration moment here, Virginia is a tank, if her allies are injured, it's because she wasn't tanking well enough!).

"Vengeance is empty" moment : the evil general who slaughtered her former knights doesn't even remember the people he slaughtered, or the mission where he hunted her, aka, she's been obsessing for 10 years over something her so called "nemesis" forgot.

End of the map, the realisation that her vengeance was nothing + she put her close allies' lives in danger (+ the little bit of salt when she mentions that Alain is the Cornian Royal people should follow because he is royalty) make her want to leave the army as fitting punishment - which, you know, coming from a series where some lord basically goes 1VS1 against the guy who killed his dad and who was followed by his kid sister who put herself in mortal danger but only receives a scold from his not-mom and slap on the wrist just makes me side-eye FE Tellius' writing even more.

Anyways, while I read on redshit that some people were pissed because "wah wah Virginia is a character who does foolish things and there are consequences about it she should be exiled forever or something", she obviously doesn't leave the army because, all of her close allies ask her to stay. Hell, Alain only gives one or two sentences that are dispassionate compared to the other 4 - again to show that MC privileges aren't everything at least plot wise - but the main voice is Leah's - aka her (well) Drakengard retainer!

When earlier Virginia told her that this story and her choice had nothing to do with Drakengard - because it's about Cornian knights who died during her flight from Cornia - Leah now reminds her that she became someone important for Drakengard too, and you know, the 10 years she spent here ? It's not just only background to give some fluff for a teatime line, no, it has more implication, if not only to have this moment where Leah says that Virginia's pride, bravery and hope to restore her country also influenced and inspired people (Gilbert, the second son who had to assume the role of the King when no one else was left!) around her and made the people of Drakengard also hope to liberate their country - if she leaves now, the named character from Cornia will miss her, but also "Drakengard" in general.

To cement her words, after this map we can talk to some Drakengard NPC who's all "wow Princess Virginia is so cool she defeated the bastard in charge of this fortress!" and while idk if Leah's speech + that NPC were added to make the ending where she becomes the queen of Drakengard (save for Alain marrying his cousin) more plausible, but it was a really nice addition.

Adding to that the fact that Virginia is the one who's basically telling Alain (and informing the player) about various map hazards like geysers around the land, giving some backstory about the desert along with Leah and also the one who tells the party about a sort of shortcut/secret passage and yes, we get it that she lived for 10 years in that land and knows it enough to act as a guide, but also that the people around know her.

I mean compare with a game where some dude apparently went to a school in a foreign capital but when he marches on said foreign capital or talks to people who also attended that school he never mentions it - it's like night and day.

Final "daw" moment that is both tied to her character but also, another example that Alain isn't the center of the universe... Virgnia is the one who tells Alain to talk to Aramis (the eldest prince who became a merc!) and ask him to talk to Gilbert to put his worries aside about the throne and the succession and ust, to reunite with his younger brother.

The characters concerned (Gilbert and Aramis) thank Alain for giving them the occasion and push to talk to each other - not knowing this was something Virginia planned, because while hers and Gilbert's issues are sort of similar (the not "legitimate" heir who took the mantle of restoring their country to glory and believed it so for the last decade, only for the legitimate one to return), she has a good enough read on Gilbert to know that he needs to talk to his brother to put his doubts and questions about his legitimacy aside and accept that he is the King.

Coming from a series with "avatar scissors", the bonds and links between the characters was really something I enjoyed, Alain will not pop up and tell Gilbert that he is a good king and should get over/or deal with his doubts about his brother, Alain isn't the one who gives the most meaningful speech about why Virginia is important to Drakengard and hell, we don't even see the exchange we know he had with Aramis to convince him to talk to Gilbert, because the most important scene here isn't the Alain-Aramis dialogue, but the Aramis-Gilbert one. Gilbert doesn't want to free his Kingdom because he envies Alain or Alain told him to do so, it's something he wants to do being inspired by Virginia.

In a nutshell, Drakengard's major characters were a good surprise and their stories and quests were cool.

More minor character wise...

We get the Drakengard version of the same plague we saw in Cornia, but instead of having "clerics" perform experiments on infected people to find a cure, the accent here is put on a wyvern knight who was to enforce a lockdown, to prevent the plague from spreading and well... no fines in this setting, instead she runs them through with her spear.

IDK how that game would have been received just after Covid lol

All jokes asides, just like the Cornian version of this plot heavily suggested, the plague was devised by the evil empire to cut down the forces of the rebellion and make sure this land would be able to be conquered easily.

Why are the imperials killing people? Well, it might have to do something with the fact that the totes-not-gharnef old sorcerer guy is a necromancer...

Leah's quest explored a little more the background info that "Drakengard and Cornia used to be at war" thingie, with random green units also mounting a liberation army but refusing our help, and we know how this ends with green units, we basically have to save them.

Map ends with some Drakengardians - who swore allegeance to the evil Empire? - still willing to fight us, and Alain asking Leah to please ask them, as a Drakengardian (?) to surrender because if someone from Cornia asks them they will refuse.

Also it's a bit of a character exploration, for once the usually demure + always in the back behind Virginia asks the Liberation Army to do something and insists even if people refuse, straight up saying that in that case (if they refuse) she's going to help the green NPCs herself since she's strong enough to do so and it's cool because I think at one moment Virginia sighs/laughs, but not in a derogatory way, but more in some "damn she's becoming like me" way - which is alluded to in ther rapport conversation, Leah seeks to emulate her bold and fearless (being a green unit) behaviour.

I haven't seen a lot of convos with the desert people we recruit - thank goodness we're far from Hyzante's clichés even if the "people in the desert are bandits and former prisoners" trope is still here, but given how the ones who attack us were brainwashed by the evil Empire, it's not as aggravating as, well, Nopes or Hyzante.

Gameplay wise :

Damn if promoting your units cost medals, but it's so worth it to have more than one action (at least) per turn ! It also means we can use entire new strategies because now the turns are at least longer than one round each!

Drakengard fills the Jugdral quota with the group of units coming all at once at you sometimes lol, but I loved the aesthetic difference that ultimately became gameplay difference between this area and Cornia, basically we have more mountains to less space to manoeuver the non flying units, the enemies use AoE engines to ruin you or at times, AoE map abilities from their own units to deal some annoying amount of damage.

The cities are larger so instead of fighting in a meadow with one or two small buildings here and there, at times the fight takes place in an entire city, so again, it means reduced mobility and of course, desert sucks because, just like FE, you can't move well in the sand.

Lolcalisation wise :

Virginia "I have never been fond of court formalities" says a desert full of bandit isn't a place for "royalty like us"? When the "us" is both her and her cousin reknown for their martial abilities?

What the fuck does it mean ?

At least in FR it's "a lot of people avoid this place" and not just "royalty like us" - which doubles as ridiculous because in the "people avoid this place" it's again the trend of Virginia being a tour guide of Drankengard, telling Alain that people from Drakengard think about the desert, eluding this part is also, in part, eluding part of the knowledge Virginia has about Drakengard.

I think the localisation took the "royal pride" that defines her and exaggerated it to "royal arrogance".

IDK if the meaning is the same in english, cretin is an insult like in french, but damn if you say to someone the are a "crétin" they will feel offended and insulted because that's way more rude than calling someone an idiot!

:/

And I also have a bone against whoever thought it was a good idea to throw "pseudo elvish" words in the localised script (sadly we followed this :'() when the japanese audio doesn't use them at all, was it to pretend the evles from Fevrith have a different language because Tolkien shall be universal, or what?

Elf land doesn't see that interesting plot wise compared to Drakengard, and I'm not saying this because of my Alcina bias lol but I'll just have to wait and see!

(poor hodrick is being slaughtered by those pesky pointy ears and their hybrid attacks, tfw armor not withstanding magic is universal, I'll have to promote Miriam asap to protect him or just bench him :/)

[mayorwhisper]

Camen is a winter island from Lex Play on YouTube! It's very nicely done and feels kind of gothic meets snow? Very pretty at night.

DA 1971-6531-0001

[dark-elf-writes]

Like 27 hours in and the first game crash. Which like this might be because I’m coming off of playing inquisition where it crashes like 10 times on a good run but I’m actually pretty impressed.

[cutelittleexo]

Streaming more Signalis! Come watch me suffer at puzzles!

[vhenaqui]

i feel so over my head when it comes to tech because now i try to boot up dao on my xbox and it says i can’t connect to live?? but i pay for it every month??? and i can’t access any old saves they are all gone

[pussyydestroyer]

With my friend we did these lesbeans in DTI and we didn't even get into the first 3 places 😭

The quality and the clothes are shit, I know, but we were hoping someone would recognize it lol

[german-garbage]

I got goat simulator 3 from my mother for easter and istg this game is my new main source of serotonin, it's genuinely so funny I can't believe I never played it before

[flowercrowngods]

hmm first sentence thought! 💕

The bed is big enough for them to share without touching— but that doesn’t mean that they can’t.

kissing you on the nose for this thank you friend 🤍🌷

The bed is big enough for them to share without touching — but that doesn’t mean they can’t. I’m fact, Steve could not be persuaded to keep his hands to himself even if the world depended on it; not when Eddie is right there, his hair a dark halo around his head, putting the pillow underneath to shame with how soft it looks.

Softer still to the touch as Steve reaches out after staring for a lifetime or two, imagining all possible scenarios of what would happen if he dared to touch, to feel, to be.

To be in love with Eddie Munson — though that one doesn’t take too much imagining, as the breath lodged in his throat for months now keeps reminding him.

Brave, so endlessly brave, his hand travels the distance between them, his careful eyes tracking each movement in Eddie’s still face — his eyes closed, his lips locked in a barely-there smile, his breath even in a way that leaves Steve jealous —, his fingers so, so close to the softness of Eddie’s hair, when all of a sudden the metal head angel of a man snatches his hand and brings it to his own lips with a quiet hum.

send me an ask with the first sentence of a fic and i’ll write the next five 🌷 continuation welcome