#let your feelings flow
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Yeah I like that. Rhun is totally this type of person. Maybe there are not only rooms with merch but also hotel rooms themed after their brothers, that you can book. And every time someone drops something new Ray or Minty just buy it without comment and place it somewhere for Rhun to see.
Thoughts about Rhun (Zahnfee)
So we know were Fips, Klaus and Rhun live and have see their interior. Klaus has a live sized cardboard version of himself and a few pictures in his room, but you can't see if one of his brothers is in it. Fips has nothing from his brothers except the carrots from Klaus. (Hope to see how Zeke decorated his home) And then their is Rhun who has freaking oversized paintings of his brothers in his hotel lobby and has the first sleigh from Klaus on display. This opens up the possibility that he has even more stuff from his brothers.
Did he collect things from his brothers that they might have thrown away. Is he the proud brother who wants to show of his brothers, even if he doesn't approve of everything they do. I mean there is a painting of Eos and they are definitely not on good terms.
Even Dark was like "Jo grüß Eos, wenn du ihn siehst."
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how do you think the lis would respond if mc sheepishly asked if they could fondle their tiddies? (even mhin, even though i KNOW they'd shank a bitch.)
Here ya go, Anon!! :3 They pronouns & non-specific language/MC used. Suggestive, but no other warnings.
AIS:
Pretends he doesn’t hear them.
“Hmm?” He holds a hand to his ear, a toothy little smirk on his face, his scarred eyebrow raised. The way he’s making direct eye contact is an unmistakable challenge.
“You wanna what now, Sparrow?”
He knows exactly what MC said and they can tell. He just wants to see if they'll say it again. They didn’t sound so sure about whatever that request was just now…
His smirk grows when– (if?? But c’mon he’s so clearly saying yes, please) –
His smirk grows when they don’t back down. He spreads his arms out in invitation, haori splaying open.
He’s patient for as long as he can stand once they get their hands on him but it isn’t long before he finds himself grabbing them by the wrists, pulling them closer. Pressing his palms against the back of their hands to encourage them to make full, firm contact. Haven’t they been warned? He’s awfully greedy.
(And: if he purposely presses their touch against his heart for a moment, no one needs to know but him.)
VERE:
He gives them a blank look– a look unsettlingly similar to his hungry, flat eyed stare. Though, it’s gone in an instant–so quick they might even be able to convince themself that they imagined it. One blink and his entire expression is different, his tail swishing elegantly and with a flourish that can only be described as pleased.
“Well,” he purrs, “aren’t you just adorable? I did tell you to ask next time you wanted to touch… Very well then. I’ll reward your ability to follow simple instructions.” He relaxes luxuriously into the cushions of the divan that he’s resting on. “Come along, then. Fondle to your heart's content. Don’t leave me waiting.” He beckons to them with a crooked finger, tempting them closer, a haunting echo of their first meeting.
Survival instincts be damned…he did give them permission…
He breathes a chuckle out as they touch him, his mouth hot against their ear as he buries a grin into their neck.
In the space of another breath, he’s flipped the two of them, leaving them pinned against the divan.
“You didn't think you were getting a single thing for free from me anymore, did you? Tut tut. After you treated my generosity so callously before? From now on, I’ll be expecting payment in kind. Quid pro quo, darling.”
KURAS:
He looks at them, eyes crinkled with amusement. “Am I to take it that your interest is academic? Studying anatomy, perhaps? I do have a few select texts I could offer you which you might find quite beneficial.”
The embarrassed look on their face seems to amuse him further, the corners of his lips tugging up as he takes in their expression.
“Of course, the benefits of a more hands-on method of scholarship should not be overlooked.” He takes pity on them, beckoning them over as he takes a seat on the doctor’s stool, right next to the cot where they first met him. He neatly removes his coat, folding it and laying it to rest beside him. Despite their fears, he doesn’t start listing out the anatomical names for things as they lay their hands on him. His eyes slip shut as they rest their hands on his shoulders���he’s still so tall, even sitting on the low stool–sliding their hands down, admiring the sturdy form and shape of him.
His own hands come up, clutching around their waist with surprising strength. His eyes are bright and intense as he looks up at them. They expect him to say something but he merely squeezes them–Possessively?–
Like he might be able to trap them in this moment with him forever, through will alone.
He closes his eyes again; his grip loosens. His self-control back is back in its necessary place, and he finds himself repentant.
“Forgive me. You are quite endearing. I simply find you…difficult to resist.” He admits.
MHIN:
You are so correct anon. Shanked immediately. But MC bonks their head into Mhin’s chest on their way to the ground, so… Achievement Unlocked? Or, for MC’s sake, I’ll assume that they have earned a level of trust/intimacy with Mhin that makes Mhin a lil' less likely to get stabby.
Mhin’s eyebrows furrow as Mhin crosses their arms, physically creating distance between MC and their…
Mhin’s cheeks go a little red as they realize how obvious their body language is, their pale eyes darting to the side as they worry about what other things they’ve accidentally telegraphed to MC. How many of Mhin's true thoughts and feelings are they privy to...? Shaking themself mentally, they quickly snap out of it, pinning MC with a pointed glare.
“If you value your life at all, you’ll never ask me that again.” Mhin marches away. “Staying at the Wet Wick–around Leander–has ruined your brain. You need to get out of that place while you still have some grey matter left.”
. . .
Later, escorting MC back to said Wet Wick, ducking through the lesser known and narrower streets after a long day of following dead ends together, Mhin finds the thought ruining their own brain. It must be the heat of MC pressed against them in the alleyway, the comforting, all-consuming scent of them, the memory of MC’s flushed face while they were asking Mhin’s permission... MC’s much braver than them, Mhin thinks bitterly, so much more willing to let themself have what they want, despite their cursed hands. Mhin sighs, stopping abruptly. Turning. Pinching the bridge of their nose.
“Look–you can–”
Mhin feels themself blushing all the way down to their chest. They open their mouth and close it a couple of times, attempting to articulate what they want. They make a noise of aggravated frustration. Carefully–very carefully, and very slowly, so that MC knows exactly what they are doing, they reach for the bandaged hands at MC’s side. They rest MC’s hands lightly on their chest, shivering as they feel the brush of fingers against their clothed ribs, thumbs pressing into their sternum. They bite down a noise that would surely make them perish where they stand. Stars above, how long since–
“...Does your heart always beat this fast, Mhin?”
“Quiet.” They snap.
Wow Mhin. Right there in the alleyway huh? Well ok then. I see what ur about.
LEANDER:
The two of them are alone in the room at the Wet Wick, just sitting together innocently on the bed when MC asks.
Well–they try to ask.
He hears them start the question and his coat and shirt (and tiddie belt) are coming off before they can even finish. He gives them a quiet chuckle, blushing as his shirt(s) get caught at his shoulders.
Though the perfect way it frames his boobs might convince them he did it on purpose…
“You meant skin to skin, right?” He laughs again, leaning back on his hands and looking entirely too appetizing–is he arching his back a little more than necessary?
“I don’t mind at all! Though, if you could help me with…” His eyes crinkle as he smiles at them, head tilted like a puppy, waiting expectantly.
They get up from the bed to help him discard his remaining topmost layers of clothing, standing above him in order to better assist. His eyes are pinned to theirs the moment the fabric barrier is fully cast aside. “I…can’t say this is a bad view,” he admits, eyes roving along their form, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Then, more sincerely: “I’m glad that you asked me for this. Don’t be afraid to touch, all right? Nothing bad will happen to me, promise. Remember: whatever you want.”
They find themself feeling along the edges of his scar, tracing the line of it across his pectoral… His breath catching when they accidentally scratch him a little with their nails (MC is just a little clumsy–that was completely unintentionally, really) is dangerously addictive.
“Ah... Anywhere else you’d like to touch? It would be a shame to waste this opportunity…”
If they're feeling shy, he could offer a few suggestions. He really, really wants to help in any way he can. :)
BONUS!ELYON: “You can, but I will have to charge.”
#And then the Milkshake song plays#touchstarved game#i am–as always–just a silly little guy#I hope this is to your liking anon!!#i hope it is kinda what u were hoping for?!#leander touchstarved#mhin touchstarved#ais touchstarved#vere touchstarved#kuras touchstarved#touchstarved game fanfic#I was gonna be sillier bc I was tryna match the vibe of the ask but then i looked into my heart and found this instead so i hope...#anyways when Ashnikko said ewwy in the gutter i can’t help I want to be ti**y smothered i felt that#LEANDER WAS THE HARDEST ONE TO WRITE CAN YOU BELIEVE?!?! its bc his was just him going: yesyesyesyes#toxintouch writing#fun fact there's a deleted line where Ais cops a feel of MC's a$$ he is an a$$ man i fear :) but I cut it out bc ThE fLoW ok#i will let him do it later in something else#i hate u tumblr formatting FINE I WON'T MAKE IT LOOK NICE#Divider is from the official TOUCHSTARVED itchio page#post got softblocked bc I said things in the tags so i censored i'm LAUGH#i really typed hakama instead of haori ealier ffffff#toxintouch: {pick} prompt {your poison}
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i remember when the bodysnatching happened and how hardly anyone else in the fandom (or what i saw of the fandom) seemed to find it as horrifying as i did. then the same thing happened again with the mind invasion. and yes the fact that the mind invasion happened at all and not even the story gave much of a fuck about the fact that it did is still one of biggest gripes with the finale
#bnha#i know it's a shonen but ... come on#here's a character who has already been violated in such a deeply horrifying manner - let's go violate him some more#because yes invading someone's mind when they clearly do not want you to do that so you can take a peek at their deepest trauma and pain#and most private innermost thoughts - regardless of your intentions or the outcome - is a VIOLATION#also doesn't help that. tomura kind of died from this. like. he did. that's what happened.#deku invaded shigaraki's mind forced inner child therapy on him and then shigaraki died from it#like! ok then!#i mean sure i probably had a stronger reaction to it than the average person bc this is some very specific brand of nightmare fuel for me#and it's a shonen it's not that deep etc etc but man was that really necesary with this character no less. lmao!#this is why i still and always & forever will detest the idea of deku going around and telling everyone about shigaraki's past/tenko#would be feeling differently about it had there been some degree of... consent? but shigaraki didn't get to have a say in the matter at all#he didn't even get to voice his opinion on izuku potentially making it all public - didn't even give izuku permission to talk about it#like yeah including a scene like that would have probably disrupted the flow/taken up panel space unnecessarily#doesn't mean it wouldn't have been important to include#ig tomura could've also not died then he would've been able to tell people about it by himself on his own terms by his own choice but yknow#so glad that izuku apparently did know better and just kept that shit to himself ❤️#mine#not feeling all that#bnha critical#these days but this one still stirs something within me
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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How do I put what's in my head onto the page? Is it always hard?
Hello!
If you're asking me how to make the writing live up to the fantasy, just remember: writing isn't a transcription service, it's an art form.
Writing isn't thinking, but between you and me, thinking isn't that great anyways. It's like singing in the shower. Thinking needs to be translated through a skill like writing before it'll make a good scene.
Creation is choices and actions, not recreation. Let me give you an example: I crocheted my dog recently, and I didn't aim to perfectly recreate my dog in tiny crochet form. Instead, while I crocheted, I converted her into a small character with plushie proportions. She had all her recognisable features and was a pretty good crochet dog, checked all the boxes, Dad was happy. But the little crochet dog didn't look exactly how the subject did, sat there wagging on the rug. That's because I wasn't trying to copy her. I was trying to crochet her. In the same way, I don't transcribe my daydreams, I convert them into writing form, and that's 90% less frustrating and 100% more possible.
As for whether writing remains hard forever, yes and no. Writing becomes easier with practice the same way anything does, but it gets harder as you naturally challenge yourself to write better, like a bodybuilder increasing the weights. But if you stop expecting writing to come out 'correctly' and instead lose yourself in the process, you won't feel the dead ends, you'll be too busy finding solutions and thinking on your feet -- you'll be in the zone.
I just wish I knew how to do that on command!
-HM
#asks#writing advice#creative writing#actually let me add on a little story hidden in the tags:#when i was young i tried to write a book on my dad's computer. it went terrible.#i didn't understand how writing suddenly felt bad. i was used to it flowing nicely and feeling good.#it didn't feel like a real published book to me. i felt like a failure. i was about 8 and it was the first time writing was a struggle.#so i gave up#i didn't give up writing -- i gave up writing books.#i was enjoying the process and not caring about the output or about the potential of the things in my head.#my skills developed and writing stayed easy. when i applied my skills to something specific it was difficult.#but i realised the difference between trying to mimic something which involves aiming for a specific output --#one that may even be out of my skillset --#and using my knowledge and experience like a puzzle to achieving a BETTER endpoint. one i could achieve and grow from#i suppose this is just to conclude: little me was right when i decided that i would enjoy writing instead of producting writing.#i hope some of this makes sense at least. and if i misunderstood your ask then: oops
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it's normal to be disappointed when you learn that your dreams are already dead. but just like a phoenix, our death will lead us to our own rebirth; and like a supernova, some deaths are beautiful.
#context is in the tags where i hide#which will be a lot#so uh#you all probably know about... my au.#all the team is busy. of course including me.#one's in uni; the other... idk. probably living his life.#as i mentioned in a previous post i've been missing the times when the group was still as active as how young people would be#and the youthful days i had in general#one thing i used to be scared of is change.#now i don't think i'm scared of change anymore. just dreadful but no longer scared#because change is inevitable and there's nothing we can do#so uhhh#go with the flow i guess#i always let the people i cherish live their own lives and i give them all the privacy they need#even if it means not being able to keep in touch with them#that is if they'd still remember me#whether they would or wouldn't that's okay with me#(no hard feelings everything is genuine and honest)#so... let's go straight to the point#the au would probably end up being solely written... that is if the art stuff doesn't push through#it's not like i've grown sick of those 'promises' i totally understand them i SWEAR.#i just don't wish to be misunderstood but like i just. couldn't spit all of it out in front of them#i'm sorry for being a coward#and if you see this... i don't know. probably tell me how you're doing? and either give me hopes that this could all still be sorted out-#or tell me if it's impossible at this point?#please just don't give me any false hope.#and... if we all ever don't push through#i'm genuinely sorry if i tired you or wasted your time and energy.#i'm sorry for dragging you to all my demands and perfectionisms and insecurities#missing entry
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Told y'all I wasn't shutting up about him just yet. This one is immediate anxiety relief. Trust me.
Just go on ahead and let that seratonin hit you real quick.
#try turning off the lights in your room#close your eyes for a minute maybe#and just feel it#this song is pure and uncut#as usual#ignore me#exhale#let the seratonin flow
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do you ever have people online that just. frustrate you for no reason😭😭like this person didn’t do anything to me personally but whenever i see their comments or anything im just like oh it’s YOU again 😒😒😒
#aita for this❤️#<- not the fucking reddit lingo are you shitting me 😭#idk it just feels like they’re trying to steal my hashtag flow if you get what im saying#you DONT get that dead partly fictional man like i do 🤬🤬🤬 don’t try to one up me we’re on different levels /j😤#i sound so cocky bye#maybe im just mean idk#its nobody here btw they don’t have tumblr as far as i know it’s mostly a pinterest and sometimes youtube thing#bury is not your platonic husband back off eyes glow red#im like a modern day version of those gacha life sans fangirls#if they ever see this im actually done for i cant let my super nice and joyful reputation be destroyed
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Was soooooo happy with this phase 1 which is what made it so much funnier that I was immediately clapped by his phase 2 😂
#romina is still my fave boss but messmer is a solid second#almost every other boss I would describe as “would’ve been good if their damage wasn’t so overtuned”#my stance if that if I’m consistently losing to a boss with 10/14 flasks left the damage is overtuned#vs me losing to sword saint isshin with no gourds or pellets left bc he was tough enough to whittle me down#fromsoft bros will say get good but think high numbers is big difficulty#an actually difficult boss doesn’t need big damage output if the mechanics are the challenge#I don’t actually mind how relentless the bosses are in ER but I mind how HARD they hit on top of that#dodging a 12 hit uninterruptible combo where each move does like 1/10th of your health? that’s fine.#if I properly time 3 of those dodges I can still make it and it’s honestly my bad if I’m getting killed by that#dodging a 12 hit uninterruptible combo where each hit takes out 1/2 of ur health bar & has a 50% chance for an additional retaliation combo?#I *can* do it but Jesus Christ what a waste of my time lmao#how am I supposed to learn a boss when I can’t get into a flow state bc a single mistake can end a run smh#I just beat gaius and I didn’t even feel accomplished I was just like ugh finally#I feel like 95% of his moves are fine once you work out the delays and positioning#but I kept getting clipped by his charge attack like I would dodge out of the way but once the i frames were finished I’d still get hit#bc I guess I wasn’t dodging a perfect 90 degrees to him and the hitbox for that attack is long as hell#which would be whatever if that move didn’t take out like 2/3 of my health and come out nigh instantly#I don’t even really know the tell for the move bc I beat him before I learned it bc I lucked out on a run where he didn’t charge me a lot#luckily the game is absolute DELIGHT to look at and explore that I can forgive the absolute bullshittery of the bosses#like I just got to the summit of dragon peak and I’m blown away by the design of that mountain#if we’re talking verisimilitude in games how about that whole shebang#no obvious well worn path up to the top of the mountain bc it’s just for dragons who’s gonna be walking up there?#having the player follow a trail of increasingly dense dragon corpses is SUCH a great tone setter#which means I’m probably going to hate bayle but whatever I’m already invested let’s gooooo#tsuchi plays games
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What's a Red without their Blue?
Kyukyu Sentai GoGoV
Matoi Tatsumi & Nagare Tatsumi
#gogov#kyukyu sentai gogov#super sentai#red and blue#something about a reliable red being backed by a techy blue feels very nostalgic#does this count as a fire/water duo????????? an arguement can be made#(the answer is yes)#two big brothers with two opposite personalities#matoi eats off your plate but he taught you how to ride a bike and keeps the bullies away#nagare ignores you at school but he helps you with your homework and puts bandaids on your scrapes#do you get me??????? am i making sense?????????????#its matoi's way or the highway and nagare is content enough to just go with the flow#his cool aloof nature means he largely just keeps his head down and lets matoi's stomp around unchallenged#you gotta leave the pushing and the questioning and the head butting to the classic middle child that is go green#gif post tag
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Protector culture is being afraid to cry because you don't want to be perceived as weak or feeling like permission is needed to cry/be upset
~ 💾
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#💾 anon#protector culture is#actually plural#endo safe#💕#if it helps- this is me giving you permission to feel upset and express it however you need. emotions are natural no matter if you're a-#-protector or not. please give yourself grace and let your emotions flow as they need to 🫶🫂
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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖
Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝
The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️
For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3
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PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!
~
Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.
Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).
Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)
The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.
Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.
You awake?
Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.
He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.
“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.
“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”
“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.
Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.
“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”
A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.
“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.
“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.
“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”
Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.
“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”
“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.
“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”
Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.
“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.
“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”
“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.
The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.
“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.
He had to steel himself for his next question.
“What do you mean?”
“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.
A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.
“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’
“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.
“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”
Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.
“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”
“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”
Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.
“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”
“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”
Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)
“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”
Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.
“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”
That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.
“Probably not half as much as I did.”
Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.
If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.
It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.
Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇
Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.
yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤
From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.
#blind channel fanfiction#blind channel rpf#ollixallu#24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling#<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw#everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone#one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3#probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol#anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3
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ichiro threw gales of wind and kuukou had all this water falling imagery attached to him in the rap mv, oh they know they were cooking
#vee queued to fill the void#hypanispoilers#i feel so diseased thinking about the ichikuu in this episode lmao#kuukou taking initiative and ichiro deciding to follow after him#ichiro picking up on the battle terrain and kuukou instantly catching and finishing his train of thought#kuukou: in travel one wants a companion and in life compassion right? i’m staying too. don’t think i’m letting you have all the best parts#ichiro: *cautiously stares at him*#them poking fun at each other’s hobbies and lifestyles while reminiscing on naughty busters days#them remaining undefeated and ichiro championing that naughty busters name#kuukou lingering just a bit behind ichiro because he always takes a step back whenever ichiro’s doing his protag thing#we go with the flow is an entire banger and a half with them working together BRUH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#that second text that’s like ‘they’re not opposites they’re powerful figures that employ a different approach to achieve the same end’#HAS ME SO ILL THAT REALLY IS THEM RHYME ANIMA YOURE INSANE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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really not beating the brainrot allegations but genuinely this line has been haunting my brain for ages
#rolling with difficulty#vrla rwd#mrsn rwd#well not technically but close enough#asto stop drawing the same two goddamn characters challenge (difficulty: impossible)#technically the original line was 'i see mr-sn' but this way .. works better? flows better? its 4am words are failing me#also took some artistic liberties with the hypnagoug design bc i think austin's intention was that only its face changes#to match your nightmares#but everyone started describing stuff thats much more elaborate and he didnt stop them so#specifically he says the clawed arms and 'a large gaping mouth' stay constant but i am just gonna Choose Not To See that part#look theres no way for me to fit that into the design and make it work. its just not happening#i mean thank god for mr-sn's cape or else id have to figure out the logistics of attaching bony clawed arm to robot torso#(also why i strategically placed the rips on the cape so you cant see the arm underneath LMAO)#yeah after a certain point i was just like. ok how can i make the mr-sn hypnogoug as nasty and unpleasant to look at as possible#so please let me know if this made you upset/lh bc im the one who drew it and *i* was very upset when drawing this#in hindsight hypnagoug mr-sn has lowkey nightmare animatronic from fnaf energy and i've been fully over my fnaf phase for like 6 years so#not sure how to feel about that#art I made
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
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Why does Link a skilled swordman ever do a spin attack to begin with?
Sometimes a guy's gotta do a little dance to assert dominance on the field
#alternate answers include:#so that his hair flows beautifully in battle#so the enemy gets a chance to check out his ass#so that fi can get some additional exercise#he used to do ballet and he's gotta let everyone know it somehow#because you as the player are too dumb and stupid to handle his true masterful swordskills so he dumbs himself down for your sake#gay#feel free to add more#link loz
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