#let men and women be friends
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So, I’ve just recently seen a few videos on TikTok about people leaving their best friend of however many years because they started dating someone, and it just confuses the absolute hell out of me.
Like, a few women have posted about leaving their male friends because he got a girlfriend, and I’m just sitting here like… you don’t have to do that?
You shouldn’t have to break years (or even a handful of months) of your friendship off because he got a girlfriend.
I mean, I did see a few comments talk about how it’s a “trust thing,” or something like that, but like… a trust thing for who?
If it’s for the girlfriend, that’s a red flag, is it not? Like, the idea that she can’t accept that her boyfriend has female friends? The fact she doesn’t trust him to not go behind her back? Or even try to form relationships with his friends and get to know them better?
If it’s for the guy, that’s also a red flag. As said before he should be trustworthy and loyal—his affection for his girlfriend shouldn’t have to be called into question. The idea that there is even a sliver of possibility for that to happen is not grounds for a healthy relationship.
If it’s for the friend, again, red flag. The fact you’d go out of your way to pursue him if you didn’t break off your friendship is extremely muffed up.
Men (and women in the reverse) should be allowed to have opposite gendered best friends without the concept of romance just hanging over their heads for their entire lives, or needless petty drama of the idea that “oh they could be dating!! >:(” when that thought has never crossed their minds.
Hell, even if they did used to date and broke it off, but still remained friends, that should be a sign that their breakup was healthy for both of them and that they won’t plan to get together again. They were both mature and realized that a romance wasn’t something they wanted.
This entire concept just baffles me.
I mean, it’s videos like those that make me paranoid that I’m the reason my guy friend hasn’t gotten a girlfriend yet. There’s been so many points where I’ve just though that he’d be better off if I just stopped being his friend, that maybe it’d be easier for him if we never even met in the first place.
I just don’t understand why men and women can’t just be friends. There always has to be something, some underlying feeling that people just assume is there, when it’s really nothing at all.
#let men and women be friends#relationship#romance#friendship#tiktok#rant#rant post#personal#aroace#aromantic#asexual#text post#scheduled
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Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.
#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man#and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans#but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women!#and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women#let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever#or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him'#yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge#transhet#anti-transmasculinity#again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too#antimasculism
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If homophobic weirdos don't stop ruining the absolute beauty and solidarity of love and friendship between gay men and lesbians by pushing for us to fuck each other as if that isn't what cishet homophobes have been pushing for since the dawn of time I'm gonna start car bombing
#tcp#note that this is NOT a gold star post gay men who have been w women in the past and lesbians who have been w men in the past are still gay#but let's not pretend that's what these HOMOPHOBES. BC THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. IT IS HOMOPHOBIC TO WANT LESBIANS TO FUCK MEN#AND TO WANT GAY MEN GAAAAY MEN TO FUCK WOMEN. no arguments. are talking abt#how to be hateful towards lesbians gay men AND bi people in one fell swoop#'oh my lesbian friend fucks men all the time' THAT'S BC SHE'S BISEXUAL. why are yall allergic to the word bisexual.#the world only spins forward
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There is a special space in hell for white men who post those ‘I hate it when white women ____’ things. Just say you hate women and go.
#And the thing is always smth totally harmless like#‘Get brunch with friends’#‘Put syrup in their coffee’#‘Post pictures of their dog’#‘Listen to pop music’#And like obviously criticising shit like white feminism is totally valid and needs to be done#But smth about the fact that it’s always WHITE MEN#Like.#Istg they need to get back in their lane#Let women enjoy themselves ffs#Yes this is in response to seeing about four of these posts IN A ROW#Misogyny
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I am once again thinking about how odysseus who witnessed the horrors that the captured women went through (one of his main duties in the iliad was taking the women back home and making sure they were as comfortable as possible and safe because he was the only one trusted not to violate them further due to his devotion to penelope. And in the odyssey part of the reason circe sent him to the underworld was so that he'd have to listen to all these women's stories (before he could talk to the prophet) ). Who was one of the few that saw women as people and respected their space and opinions. And was then put in those exact same situations. I don't have the motivation right now to do a full literary analysis of this (I'll site the sources too) but oh man one day I'm going to write a full essay on this.
#The odyssey#iliad#Odysseus#Tw: rape#Tw: sex slaves#Tw: camp slaves#Tw: That one time Calypso kept odysseus as a sex slave for 7 years#circe#Something about the inherent trauma of witnessing how your friends treat women#Watching them keep sex slaves#Then having to bring these girls home hearing about their stories seeing the aftermath#Then living in a situation where you have to let a powerful witch use you as she pleases half in payment for lives/food/medicine#Half because she has the equivalent of a gun to your best friends head and if you don't keep her happy then youre all dead#And then that witch sends you on a quest to the underworld where granted you'll benefit too but first#You have to listen to every single captured women from the Trojan war that you didn't Shepard home tell you their stories#Tell you that you're a horrible person while you are living in a disturbingly similar situation#And then later finding yourself trapped as a sex slave for seven years to an immortal nymph#And then being labeled as a horrible cheater for the rest of history#And none of this well historically everybody cheated or it's up to interpretation bullshit#Because it fucking isn't and granted a lot of abridged versions skip this shit#But if you read the full original stories and still think odysseus cheated then you just have an issue with men being victims#Or weren't paying attention i guess#Where's that meme where's it like the text was up to interpretation cut to the text where it very bluntly states what's happening#And I'm not saying odysseus was a good person or that he didn't have slaves because he did. And he wasnt#But first off nobody deserves to suffer that violation#Second they weren't sex slaves they were all nurses/maids/spys and I'm not getting into the ancient culture slavery issues rn#Third there's a lot you can pick to hate odysseus for but cheating/disrespecting women wasn't one of them#They literally invented a new word to describe his and penelopes love and it means to be so in love that you think the exact same way#Also forcing this narrative of odysseus cheating and penelope leaving to be a single girl boss is#Just the fake feminist mindset that stay at home moms are weak and wrong and live awful lives
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Man, I feel like every clip I see from Pints with Aquinas lately Matt Fradd is demeaning women. Really sad to see it, I used to love his interviews :/
#lilac rambles#pints with aquinas#matt fradd#catholic#if anyone knows of anyone who has adressed this (not a paid substack. im very broke rn and only looking for podcast type things)#please let me know about it#honestly it feels like every other day someone i really admired turns to our polarized culture of hate#i was watching his recent interview with jason evert and jason is saying all these beautiful things about how the women he's encountering#who are dressing immodestly or being promiscuous or engaging in the culture are deeply wounded and matt just keeps jumping in with all these#reminders that yeah thats great and all but dont forget women suck too#and like. we know! we know the ways we suck! the entire red pilled manosphere spends a lot of time pointing it out to us!#but if you dont want women constantly pointing out the ways men have failed us then for the love of goodness please stop taking every moment#where someone is talking about female woundedness to talk about Why All Women Except Your Wife And Friends' Wives Suck#im just feeling very let down
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To all the fans of the shows that I watched growing up
To all the fans of the shows that made me think women are more attractive than men.
My oc has s a silly little question for y’all (don’t worry she’s supportive)
#I actually haven’t fall in love for real with anyone yet lol#but women#kinda prettier than men#god I’m starting to feel like I might be aromatic with how I struggle to relate to my friends that has a real crush on other people#anyways#wander over yonder#gravity falls#star versus the forces of evil#sophia the first#princess elena#penn zero part time hero#phineas and ferb#adventure time#the amazing world of gumball#regular show#steven universe#kaitou joker#teen titans#courage the cowardly dog#kim possible#fish hooks#ducktales#craig of the creek#we bare bears#ok ko let's be heroes#unikitty#my little pony#the fairly oddparents#I can’t fit all of them :(#but I did say all the ones I watch growing up
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At first this was going to be about the hipocrisy of fandom regarding ichiruki and the sacracity of m/f friendship rep, but then I perceveid it would be stupid since most of them could ship two doors if it was a man and woman, they just are doing mental olympics to disprove it being read as romantic.
But there's a part of this that's really annoying and it's the warriors of m/f friendship being mad at every IR shipper, but never at the people who erases Rukia infuence and importance from Ichigo's life.
Look a lot of giant Bleach accounts try to minimize Ichigo and Rukia relationship, they're the reason as to why Bleach even exist their relationship is the pillar of the entire story, they're soulmates and destined to be together (yes even in a platonic sense), but most of them don't even recognize that, most would say they're besties or share one braincell and that's it... not even having the nerve of saying Ichigo and Rukia are most important person in each other life.
It's really funny how IRs are the horrible ones for shipping two friends, but then get real quiet to the ones who literally ignore Rukia importance/presence, say Renji is actually Ichigo bestie, barely even post official art with these two, never complained about how Rukia and Ichigo bond was dimished in the last arc and in the post ending novel, like? Are you really a fan of their friendship or you are just mad bc people ship them instead of something else? Be serious for a moment! 90% of times folks say they're friends are because they find romantic IR an absurd idea, so many of "their friendship is so precious, such a shame a bunch of freaks ship them 🥺" Is it necessary? Everytime someone say Ichigo and Rukia are friends a whole ass crowd reunites to hate on the ship, I'm sorry but I thought you guys were there to celebrate their friendship? I will never take these people seriously.
#ichiruki#pro ichiruki#so funny how many of the “let ir be friends” ppl#follow a bunch of rukia haters#and people that literally edit/cut her from official art with all the main five#people that never ONCE cared to their bond outside of ship wars#but sure they think platonic IR is very important#they could at least pretend a little bit better christ#posting them in a twitter quote trend doesn't change the fact you guys dgaf#any literally any person that fights for the right of these two being friends wouldn't accept how the novel treated their relationship#much less in the last arc#and i've already seen other fandoms talking about platonic bonds in other fandoms#and most of their reactions are like “i adore them so much”#and not a ship hating point#and when it attract haters generally op tries to calm the situation saying it's just to celebrate characters relationships#i wonder why it never goes this way in bleach fandom#it's always ppl with the most forced het ships saying “why can men and women be friends anymore?”#be for real#take your own advice then
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finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i dont need to pretend to simp that Guy just because everyone else in my friend group does
#finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i can be insane abt women the same way my friends are insane abt men#life changing#mochats#im sorry to my friends who think me simping that guy was genuine#i was just trying to fit in#its a good time to admit that 90% of the time i also dont care abt male characters same way how-#-some straight women dont care abt female characters#i refuse to waste my power on a guy everyone else cares about#im tired enough and i have assignments to do#if i become an outcast for only sparing my energy on women then so be it.#i care about my friends and love them gushing abt a Guy but i personally cannot be made to care in a way they do#not just because i think (often neglected) female characters deserve more of my attention but also because-#-my attraction does influence my interest LETS BE FR HERE#growing up is realizing that putting attention on things you dont care about#is exhausting#as fuck#and i kind of hated how i feel like i wasted my youth energy drawing characters idc abt to please others#now im just tired all the time#while wishing i can draw more women more often#so like#dont do that#draw and write what YOU want#btw its not that i dont care abt men i just have such low energy lately that if i care for anything else but women — it may be unfulfilling#live laugh fatigue#every time i see a guy fanart i scroll past life has never felt so good#(unless its by a friend which i will appreciate dearly i love my friends art and how passionate they r)
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We really as a society need to just fucking get over it and have the men and women wrestle each other. There can obviously be separate divisions and titles but thinking of how much potential for great storylines is being wasted physically hurts me. How great would mixed tag titles be (obviously we need women’s titles first)? For the first one they could have a big tournament and have all the couples compete and have the finals be on Valentines Day or some shit, it would be adorable. Who wouldn’t want to see Toni Storm and Juice Robinson team together? Or Britt Baker and Adam Cole, Anna Jay and Jack Perry, Penelope Ford and Kip Sabian, etc. I know I would.
Or they could have a blind eliminator tournament like they just did for the men, and pair up men and women who otherwise never would have spoken to each other. You never know, they could very well strike gold like they did with the MJF/Adam Cole pairing. I think they would.
Not to mention the great singles matches we could have, the feuds they could be put in. Plus you have someone like Kris Statlander who’s with the Best Friends and has such great chemistry with them but can never be part of the feuds they’re in if the other group doesn’t have a female member, and they can’t ever help her out in her feuds, it’s just dumb as fuck.
I think it could also help with the sub-par booking of the women’s division, too. They would get more time to shine. Obviously we need more matches with just women, but I would love more than anything to see those women kick the asses of some of those men. Those matches and storylines could be epic.
Anyway, sorry if that was messy or slightly incoherent I’m just really passionate about this particular issue and just heard that Rey Fenix wouldn’t be able to go to Wembley, prompting me to practically scream “so just let Stat join them for fucks sake!”
Edit: I wasn’t really clear in the post originally but I meant this this as strictly about AEW! I am aware that intergender wrestling does exist and has been done, I just meant that it should become the norm for the big companies (i.e. AEW. I don’t follow WWE so I can’t speak on what they’re doing over there. Someone that watches it regularly can speak on what they’re doing in this regard).
#just let the men and women fight each other goddamn it!#aew#all elite wrestling#wrestling#kris statlander#mjf#adam cole#maxwell jacob friedman#best friends#toni storm#juice robinson#britt baker#anna jay#jack perry#penelope ford#kip sabian
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The writers making jj confess her feeling to Reid is why we can't have nice things.
Quit!!! Reducing!!! Strong!!! Independence!!! Women!!! To!!! Their!!!! Relationship!!!! With!!!! Men!!!
#jenifer jareau#spencer reid#derek morgan#aaron hotchner#emily prentiss#penelope garcia#criminal minds#ships#women#david rossi#tumblr fyp#like she's more than her relationships with men#one of Penelope's defining characteristic is her flirty nature with morgan#let women have platonic relationships with men#women can be friends with men without liking them
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ok ok im thinking about ace fx having a crush on MQ and they're friends it's chill for 800 years and FX is very happy with it because no one is going to take his place with MQ since their relationship is pretty unique and special with all the fighting and working together amazingly and it's not like MQ is going to get a love interest with his cultivation but then XL returns and the book plot happens and MQ mentions switching cultivation paths because XL seems happy not having to worry about the abstinence stuff and it does seem like a troublesome criteria when there are so many other paths open to take on instead BUT FX is like. NO. he keeps arguing on it. he comes up with reasons that make a bit of sense but really he does not want MQ to consider potential love interests because they're not going to be him!! fx doesn't want anything to do with romance either but if mq isn't going to have his vows in the way what's stopping him from being *more* friends with other people? what's stopping him from finding someone to have sex with and obviously that person will mean more to him than FX will? he does not want to lose his friend :(
#meanwhile MQ wanted to not have to worry about like 10 other things that are on the criteria list because like#he would like to have a drink every now and then because fx does it and he doesn't get to drink with him bc of the cultivation#like very much the cultivation comes up and feels he has to bail on friend activities but FX... doesn't want him to not do that????#MQ like what does he mean who would want to sleep with me does he think no one would want to>????? FENG XIN???????#they get to fight about it and FX can cry#idk#MQ says he wants to change cultivation since most officials don't even follow a path and they're fine#and FX just loses it he is shaking sobbing cannot sleep knowing MQ is going to go out there and do stuff in the world#XD#let him be a little possessive and sad as a treat#let him lay catatonic in bed knowing everyone he has ever loved left him behind#tgcf#fx like no NO!!! do NOT let mq out of his enclosure!!! don't DO IT!!!!!! 😭😭😭 he is my friend 😭😭😭😭😭#mq lowkey hinting that he thinks he could *like* people and it'd be a nice weight off his shoulders and fx is writhing around#thinking that's twice as bad because the potential dating pool is bigger#fx thinks if mq is glad xl is happy then it means he must like women (he's not like fx) and maybe even men? (he's not like fx)#and it kills him inside#it's not that he wants MQ to be lonely and loveless forever but he thought they both had a good thing that they could be that way together#that maybe MQ would be just as happy as him and that would be enough but of course it isn't#FX should have known better
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Every transmasc (Will Treaty) needs their emotional support lesbian (Princess Cassandra)
Anyway that’s my take on their relationship
#honestly they are an underrated duo#really hate how flanny kept pitting them as some will-they-won’t-they romance#let men and women be close friends without anything romantic please#I wish we got to see more of the two of them without either going through intense trauma or Alyss making a big stink about it#rangers apprentice#ranger's apprentice#will treaty#princess cassandra#cassandra altman#cassandra king
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workin on my first scum villain fic!!
#i'm adding a third transmigrator into the mix#she's 25 and reads pidw for the female characters (she's ace but some of the wives are actually pretty well developed#and the ones who aren't are still interesting to her) and also to get inspiration for her own writing#bc so many pidw plots get half-developed and then left in the dust because of the sex that always has to happen#she wants to explore the implications of like. an object that shows your ''true self'' and what that means#or what if binghe and that wife actually fought the beast together instead of having the wife hang back. she's a cultivator she can fight!#she's the most prolific fanfic writer on the pidw forums but no one reads her stuff bc it's all gen fic of the wives hanging out#or making non-romantic bonds with binghe and exploring his character and how his trauma affected him#anyway she gets transmigrated into the scum villain version of ming fan about a month after shen yuan shows up#and she's VERY confused about why shen qingqiu seems extremely... different from the novel#she's also trying to survive (much like sqq) bc she knows ming fan dies a horrible death and she wants to avoid that if at all possible#while also wanting to make friends with the wives on cang qiong like liu mingyan (probably her favorite) and ning yingying#AND trying to survive being a 25 year old woman in a 16 year old boy's body#and since binghe is obsessed with shizun now... let's just say there's a new man (woman?) in town and ming fan is suddenly really nice#and genuinely seems to want to be friends with all those girls. crushes abound#she's aroace and really confused because girls keep throwing themselves at her feet. she just wanted to be friends!#sqq has his harem of men. ming fan has her harem of women. neither of them is even aware that they HAVE a harem#and if they were they would simply try and let everyone down gently#ming fan shijie
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I've literally never understood parents who don't let their like... TODDLER age kids play with kids of the "opposite" gender. Like wtf do you think your 3 year old is gonna get up to????? News flash heteros people aren't literally born sexual beings and you don't need to protect your sweet baby girl from the boy from her preschool class.
Which also makes boy/girl friendships later on actually LESS TABOO meaning, if your kid grew up being friends with OTHER GENDERS, they will be less likely to see others solely as potential romantic/sexual objects and can actually have positive normal friendships with people of any sex or gender. Who fucking knew that if you don't treat something as FORBIDDEN then it stops being so appealing, especially if you have a rebellious streak
#its just fucking weird!!!!#like i know im a guy now but when i was little i was allowed to play with anyone of any gender. it wasnt a factor#my first ''friend'' (another baby about my age when i was like less than 1 year old) was a boy!!!#my parents are far from perfect vut at least they didnt treat gender as this all important thing that actually really matters#me and my siblings could do whatever we wanted with our hair and could dress how we wanted and i played with trucks and my brother played#with barbies!!! and guess what only one of us ended up trans and gay as far as i know !!!!!#also my dad took me fishing and taught me how to tie the line and bait the hooks and i sucked at it but he still taught me#he didnt assume i wouldnt want to just cus i was a 'girl' and if i ever showed any interest in mechanical stuff he would have taught me that#my mom taught my other brother how to sew just like she taught me and my sister. it wasnt cus of gender roles it was cus we were creative#our other brother might know too idk!! i havent asked. but my mom was basically a seamstress so she probably taught us all#tho i suck at it unfortunately#anyway point is stop making gender and inter-gender friendships such a big fucking deal and maybe your kid will actually grow up normal#''men and women cant be just friends'' only because you never let boys and girls be friends ☝️ 🤓
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so uh
#a sock speaks#I think I might actually experience attraction to men? not as definitively as to women but sometimes#I think I was compartmentalizing things for quite a while#bc I didn't feel okay to have a relationship with a woman#and if I wasn't willing to have a relationship with a woman then it felt weird/wrong somehow to#allow myself to be with a man?#it felt like a betrayal somehow. I felt like I'd be judged or punished for it. or even if not that I'd be doing something wrong.#in retrospect this was the OCD talking#I don't really consider myself side b in the same way anymore. I don't know that I'd enter a relationship#but largely that's because I have anxiety about intimacy and issues with self worth 👍#but I've realized that I can't always tell the difference between shame over wrongdoing and fear of how others will react to me#and fear is not worth a life choice of that scale. but love is#and honestly. I'm acearo spec. I'm not likely to have a conventional relationship. for the present I'm still not planning on a relationship#I've wondered if maybe I have a celibate vocation. which is still possible even with all of this [gestures vaguely]#idk. for now I'm using the word queer to describe myself. it's comfortably open ended.#but also I was too afraid that dating/marrying a man would place me into a power structure I could never escape#and now I think maybe I don't have to be as afraid of that#now the awkward thing would be to let friends/family know without making them think I'm ex-gay 💀
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