#let me know if i missed a trigger tag!!

[in-memoriam-tgwk]

Amberfuzz is not the type of cat to cry. Or smile. Or… Well, any sort of emoting, really. She’s been this way since kithood; when her father stood shaking over the frozen frail body of her littermate, she sat by his side and observed his grief in silence. Catching her first prey only brought a calm reverence over her face as she quietly thanked her teacher for her exuberant praise. When Glowstar appointed her as his second-in-command, she was truly honored to be considered! But she didn’t jump around like an excitable fawn. It’s simply isn’t her nature.

Meeting Shinefreckle was like getting caught in a flash rainstorm. It left Amberfuzz befuddled and uncomfortable, and soaked to the bone. It made her irritable and snappy, and wishing for better days.

But it was also eye-opening for Amberfuzz. The older molly was everything she isn’t. Shinefreckle was bubbly, and naive, and she felt everything at an eleven. She’d squeal at the sight of lady bugs, she’d weep during the sad tales Heatherdash would regail over the evening meal, she’d loudly berate the apprentices for grabbing moss littered with pine needles. She was a whirlwind of sunlight and storms and she could grab attention without having to lift a paw.

Amberfuzz hated her for it, just as much as she envied her for it.

She never expected to get close to Shinefreckle, but it wasn’t long before they were sharing meals and sharing tongues on the regular. Shinefreckle was good at conversation in ways that Amberfuzz lacked; she could chitter on about the littlest things, investing in mostly one-sided conversations and pausing every so often for Amberfuzz to offer commentary. When Amberfuzz’s turn came to speak, she’d sit and listen with full attention, nodding when needed, gasping and smiling and giggling like anything she said was the single best thing Shinefreckle had heard all day.

She’d never admit it, but Amberfuzz preened under the attention. She’d even started smiling more, much to the confusion of the other Colony cats.

Losing Cliffclaw destroyed Shinefreckle, in more ways than could be seen. Eating was no longer a priority. She grew thin and unsteady as her frame became more bone than muscle. She couldn’t leave camp without an escort, and she rarely left at all at that point. When bathing took too much energy, her fur grew matted and dirty. Eventually Amberfuzz set about doing it all for her; she’d force her to nibble on her prey, she’d take her on small walks along the cliffs, she’d pick the tangled twigs from her fur. Despite her best efforts, however, Shinefreckle looked worse and worse as the days rolled on.

And then, Shinefreckle developed a cough. It was manageable at first, but despite a moon of treatment she just couldn’t seem to get better. She eventually had to be carried to the medicine den.

Amberfuzz doesn’t cry, but her eyes stung as her ears tuned into the rasp of her friend’s breathing, the only sound in a dusty room. Her own air hitched in her lungs— and what a foreign feeling to her— as the stench of sickness flooded her senses. Her nose burned as she tucked her face into Shinefreckle’s neck, pressing close enough to feel her heartbeat lightly tap in a withered rhythm.

She doesn’t cry. She never cries. She will not cry—

“Fuzzy…?”

Shinefreckle’s voice rattled where it caught on her cough, her head raising just enough for Amberfuzz to see her tired eyes. They crinkled at the corners from a weak smile.

“I’m here, Shinefreckle. You’re in the medicine den.”

Shinefreckle’s gaze flitted about before coming back to rest on the other. “It seems I am,” she croaks.

“Don’t move too much,” Amberfuzz said, and pressed a paw to her flank. “Heatherdash says you’re very sick. You need to rest, to get your strength up.”

She expected Shinefreckle to scoff, or to whine, or to make a fuss like she usually would. Instead, the molly’s eyes drifted to the side, like her thoughts were leading her somewhere else entirely. It took quite some time for her to float back.

“I’m tired, Fuzzy. I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Amberfuzz frowned at her. “Don’t say that. You’ll see, you just need a few days of proper rest. You’ll be well in no time—“

Shinefreckle shook her head, and her body shuddered through a series of coughs. “N-No. I won’t be.”

“Shinefreckle.”

“But it’s okay,” Shinefreckle said, and bumped her head gently against Amberfuzz’s temple. “It’s alright, Fuzzy. Just sit with me a moment. Can we please sit together?”

She smiled a soft smile, the kind that a mother would use to ease her wailing kit. It filled Amberfuzz with a sadness she couldn’t describe, one that she could only feel her way through, hanging heavy and wet in her chest. She flexed her jaw, scowling through the tears that dampened her cheeks. “Okay,” she said with a tremble in her voice. “Okay.”

She held Shinefreckle until her rattling chest finally stilled, until her eyes fluttered shut, until the first streaks of dawn tickled at the medicine den’s entrance. She held her on her final descent down the cliff, refusing anyone who offered to help carry the load. She only let go when it was time to lay Shinefreckle on her bed of rosemary, right next to Cliffclaw’s grave. Only then did Amberfuzz let go.

Amberfuzz doesn’t cry. But the buzz of a lady bug’s wing is sure to stop her in her tracks. She talks more to the rest of the Colony, and even shares stories of her own in the evening time. And if you’re lucky, on the right kind of day, her stone face will crack at its edges in a smile.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

my mom thinks that diet will cure my audhd. she's putting me on a "special diet". is that a real thing because i don't think it is.

I can't speak for ADHD, but there is little to no scientific evidence that special diets can 'improve' autism, let alone 'cure' it.

There is some evidence to suggest autistic people are more likely to have an intolerance to gluten:

'A review by Valicenti-McDermott et al (2006) found that 70% of autistic children had gastrointestinal problems compared to 42% of children without a diagnosis of autism.' - Autism and gluten and casein-free diets from the National Autistic Society

so if you are actually gluten intolerant and you stop eating gluten you might feel better and have less stomach issues, but as far as I know there's not a direct correlation with autism, and being autistic does not mean you're also gluten intolerant.

Here are some articles and studies you might find helpful:

'National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) advises not to use exclusion diets such as gluten and casein-free diets as you may miss out on certain nutrients. In children this may lead to weight loss and affect their growth.' Autism and diet (bda.uk.com)

'...a review of data from 27 clinical trials...shows that there is little to no scientific evidence to support the bulk of these diets.' Analysis finds little evidence to support dietary interventions for autism | Spectrum | Autism Research News (spectrumnews.org)

Here's a link to the study the above article mentions

The best diet is a healthy balanced one with the right proportions and a good variety from all the food groups.

[missrosegold]

always the fool with the slowest heart

I apologize for not being able to post all three chapters of ATF on here! All three parts are very long, and tumblr just can't support the length of them, so I've finally made a post to link all of them together! (I would break them up into parts like I did with and if my body should fade, i'll trust you with my soul, but it would be multiple parts for each chapter, and I try not to spam the desktops of my mutuals lol)

Once again: thank you to @candycandy00 for editing this monster for me, and thank you to miss. @kimkaelyn for making this beautiful banner for me! I love it so much!

Title: always the fool with the slowest heart

Rating: Explicit. 

Paring: Merman!Dabi/Touya Todoroki/(Female) Reader

Synopsis: After a few particularly grueling years of working nonstop, you broke down and burnt yourself out. To escape the rat-race, you left for the island where your aunt and uncle live; back to the beach house you spent your summers at as a child. As you slowly work on building yourself back up, you start to realize some things on the island are not quite as you remember them to be.

Little did you know, there was a surprise waiting you in the shallows when you returned to the island nearly a decade after you last left.

Part I can be found here

Part II can be found here

Part III can be found here

All of my stories are cross posted on A03. If the formatting on here is hard to follow, feel free to check out my A03 account!

*See A03 for more descriptive tags/warnings. It's explicit for a reason.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

how fucking DARE you pretend to care about female athletes as an excuse for your bullshit transphobia. you have never cared about us. you have never protected us. and now you want to use us to hurt members of our own community? fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you.

ID and more info under cut

[ID: the anakin and padme meme. anakin says “we need to protect female athletes”. padme, smiling, says “From widespread abusive coaching that uses encouraged or enforced starvation to delay puberty so athletes can peak in their teens and when their bodies are permanently broken by the age of 18 it doesn't even matter because the coaches have a new 13-year-old to abuse, right?” anakin doesn’t answer. “right?” padme asks again, no longer smiling. end ID]

i don’t recommend clicking any of these if you’re triggered by this stuff but here: figure skating running: elite(free link) college gymnastics

there’s more cause it’s fucking 80% of coaches in the above sports and a significant number in others as well but i’m tired and angry and you can find more if you want it.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

hii :)) could you do some headcannons for luke x chubby male reader?? if u can, could u do some trans reader and some not? ty :D !!

ahh yesss of course! I'm a bit nervous about this one, but hopefully you like them :)

he absolutely loves your body, right off the bat, he thinks you are the most handsome man he has ever laid his eyes on - like ever, and he is willing to defend that to the death

if you're self conscious about your weight, he won't let you talk badly about your body

"hey, that's my boyfriend you're talking about" - he knows it's cheesy but he will say it every damn time anyway because he knows it makes you laugh

he loves thighs, like actually loves them

if you're sitting on the couch together? the man is gonna put his head on your thighs

he gives your stomach little kisses

and your thighs

i'd really like to emphasise that he likes thighs

also he thinks you sitting in his lap is the best seating position ever, he loves it

he finds everything about you so damn hot

like the man is speechless every morning when you walk into the kitchen in whatever you're wearing

he loves hugging you - like so fucking much

particularly when you're making coffee in the morning, he just snuggles up to you from behind and kisses your cheek

the man is so wholesome

Trans additions:

if you're trans and take T, Luke is always there supporting you, he massages the area with one hand and injects the T with the other (don't question the semantics, he's just talented)

if you're getting dysphoria because of your weight, he reassures you gently that you're perfect

your body does not define your identity

[brotherlysuggestion]

Hey, for any of my little sibs trying to learn to eat salads/vegetables but running into a lot of unhappiness/failure/sensory issues, I recently started learning to eat veggies after a lifetime of struggling due to autism and sensory issues, and I have some tips that I’ve collected along the way!

Forget all about the “healthiest varieties” or “most nutritional salads” elitism.

A lot of that talk is based on bogus science or half-truths to begin with, but even for anything that’s true, you’re trying to eat in a way that is sustainable for you. You don’t need to be like anybody else. If you like iceberg lettuce, screw the people who say “well that doesn’t have any nutritional value”. It’s fiber and roughage if nothing else! You like a lot of dressing or add ins and people tell you that isn’t a real salad/isn’t a healthy salad? It’s more vegetables than no vegetables! It gets the greens in your body! Do your thing, you don’t deserve guilt (external or internal) for figuring out your own path.

This is about habit forming and breaking bad associations to form better ones.

Think of this as practice! I eat salads nearly daily when available because I genuinely look forward to them now, but I used to want to retch at just the thought of salad. When I used to think of salads, I always thought of being a kid and trying not to gag while forcing sensory hell so that adults wouldn’t get mad at me. It was punishing for me, and it took a lot of gentle work to change that association! So if you hate salads, really try to identify why. Are they bland and tasteless to you? Conversely, are the bitter flavors too strong? Is it a textural thing? Do you have some highly negative experiences with them in the past?

Don’t force yourself to keep trying something you know you hate.

I personally can’t stand a lot of “ultra healthy” salads that have a lot of different textures/flavors mixed in, and years of trying to suffer through salads like that never made me like them more. Back to the first point again, forget about what you’re “supposed” to be eating and eat what you find the least repulsive tbh.

The greens you choose can make a massive difference, so try a lot of different things!

This is especially important if texture or flavor is an issue for you. Personally I find iceberg lettuce the “easiest” because it has a very mild taste. I started out my adventures in learning to eat salad eating EXCLUSIVELY iceberg lettuce. Butter lettuce or romaine (especially romaine hearts) are others that are popular for being pretty palatable, and I’ve come to love them! And you don’t even HAVE to have lettuce! You can have cabbage, beets, carrots, whatever! Pick a vegetable you like and search for salad recipes using it!

Find a dressing you really like and drench that bad boy if you need to!

Some people really like ranch, or poppyseed dressing, or vinaigrettes, or even sweet dressings with honey and fruit! You can use mustard or honey in dressings! Look up different types of salad dressings and try them all out if you want. Personally, I really like zingy dressings like Italian vinaigrettes or blue cheese, but everyone’s different. You can make a lot of dressings at home, too, and if you have the stuff already it can be a cheap way to find what you like. I know dressing freaks some people out, but referencing my very first point again; some salad is way better than no salad. You may even eventually find yourself able to use less and less once you’re more accustomed to eating salad! So use as much as you need, whether it’s just for now or forever.

Toppings! Salads are allowed to be goodies with obstacles!

Use a protein like chicken or fish (I like tuna a lot) or crumbled bacon, use croutons, hummus, little cubes of cheese or shredded cheese, sliced hard boiled eggs, whatever! If there’s vegetables that you know you like, put those in! I love some sliced cucumber or shredded carrots in my salads. Some people do nuts like almonds or cashews in their salads, some people use chickpeas and corn from a can, and if you’re feeling super adventurous you can try some fruit to sweeten things up! If you like variety then mix warm foods and cold foods, creamy textures and crunchy textures! Make it totally your own. Personally, I’ll sometimes eat around my croutons so that once I’ve eaten all of my greens I have a big, crunchy reward. There’s no rules for how you have to eat something!

Conversely, be as simple as you need to be.

If you need to get used to salads by eating just iceberg lettuce and ranch for a while, you don’t need to be embarrassed! You don’t have to throw the kitchen sink at your salad, even if that’s what helps some others! This is about what works for you.

Don’t be afraid to have salad ingredients… not as a salad!

You can make a green smoothie by blending ingredients if texture is your big issue! Or make a fruit smoothie with some spinach or lettuce thrown in to help you ease into it. Or try dicing up some lettuce, cabbage, and a preferred vegetable or two (avocado, bell pepper, tomato, or cucumber would all work!). Drizzle that with a generous amount of dressing or sauce, and you can use it as a chip dip! Tortilla chips work especially well for this. Or maybe make a vegetable wrap in an actual tortilla? Or throw some chopped up vegetables in your next soup. Even if it’s as simple as putting some lettuce, carrots, or tomatoes into a sandwich, that’s awesome too!

Even outside of salads, experiment with texture for vegetables!

You can roast most vegetables on a sheet pan in the oven (or in an air fryer) for a crispy and crunchy experience! Or you can boil or steam them on a stovetop (or in the microwave) to different levels of softness; you can get most vegetables pretty mushy with enough time, if crunchy textures are hard for you! Looking up vegetarian versions of your favorite meat-including dishes can sometimes also offer great ideas for getting different textures out of vegetables! Try everything that you think you might like: grilling, griddling, roasting, steaming, boiling, sautéing, braising, stir frying, and blanching (which also helps reduce bitterness!) are all different methods to look into, and different methods have different results with different vegetables!

Big takeaway…

Be patient and kind with yourself. Working through food aversions is hard. The goal is gently pushing/testing your boundaries and expanding your comfort zone, NOT forcing yourself. Forcing yourself into extreme discomfort, distress, or pain typically only makes aversions worse! So it’s in your best interest to be patient and go as slowly as you need to. Be proud of yourself for trying, and don’t let anyone (including yourself) make you feel shame for doing what you can.

And obligatory disclaimer:

Please don’t get discouraged if none of these tips work for you! This isn’t an exhaustive list, and I’m not any kind of professional. This is just a mix of tips I’ve seen online, and what worked for myself and my own sensory issues, and I’m still learning more about myself all the time! If you’re struggling, there’s still more out there! You can achieve your goals, I believe in you. 💖

[somelazyassartist]

obsessed that harmony has a collection of organs 😭 i love her

Her collection grows!!! I'm sure what she's doing with all this will start to be obvious soon but for now.... Still an itty bitty secret wink wink ;]

(also I'm really happy you like her your comments mean so much to me thank you!!!!!! 🌟🦁🌟🦁🌟🦁🌟)

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

For the people in my asks

Yes the last of us 2 is still my favorite game and the article being shared is from a perspective of someone being hypercritical of the zionist message(rightfully) while completely ignoring that the game is actually NOT a zionist message.

My main arguments against this article:

-Dina being proud of her Jewish heritage happens long before the game even introduces the serephites and wfl, thus there is no narrative tie-in to Dina being Jewish and the conflict among the two factions. Free palestine is not an anti jew thing, its an anti-israel apartheid state thing. And by extension, acknowledging that anti Semitic genocides did happen and still do, is not anti palistine, like the article author implies the game is suggesting.

-"at the end of the day Ellie's journey of revenge seems especially cruel, even idiotic, because we are never given a good reason for why she keeps recommitting to it" Yeah, only if you don't know what ptsd is or that she recommits to revenge because she grew up in a world that simply COULD NOT churn out anyone well adjusted.

-this is an article from a jewish-pro palestine woman that argues that this is a bad take from a guy who clearly took his own interpretation as the only interpretation there was. She is the same author as this article that's been on many anti zionism posts going around this website. She asserts that the game itself is not actually pro isreal, but is "a catalyst for more difficult conversions."

-the main point of the article is that the game is bad and zionist bc it treats the conflict as essentially a cycle of hate in us people and that that is a mentality that is learned, not inate. Which is bullshit bc there are many stories that have those exact tropes that aren't zionist at all. And the last of us isn't either.

THAT BEING SAID: NEIL DRUNKMANN IS A ZIONIST BASTARD! Outright he has supported Isreal despite the irony that the game he made was the condemnation of exactly what he is now supporting. This guy in the video puts it best how drunkmann accidentally made a game that went against his own beliefs along with some other good things to say on the topic of celebrities sudden support of isreal:

The last of us 2 is still my favorite game and i stand by that. HOWEVER, I will likely NOT be watching the second season of the show bc the game was so phenomenally good, by accident, it seems. I have no doubts that the show will be more pro isreal as drunkmann doubles down on his pro genocide stance, and that is kind of the opposition of the game's point.

If you like the last of us 1 and 2, then support Palistine!(or if you hate the game, there is a fucking genocide happening and this all feels very small in comparison to the war crimes being committed. Do something more productive than hang out in my inboxes or tell me to off myself):

[lazarish]

[Long, shuddering groan]

[magnus-is-swagness]

I can’t get enough of The Devil Baby

[hearts-hunger]

you have friends but the only compliment they ever give you about your appearance is “you look so skinny in that outfit!” and they talk nonstop about losing weight and restricting foods and feeling guilty about what they eat and you know that if they didn't know you they would see you and say “well, at least i don't look like that” and “maybe some people shouldn't have as much confidence as they do”

[missrosegold]

and if my body should fade i'll trust you with my soul part II

Part I can be found here

Synopsis: You’ve always been able to see the man with white hair and charred skin around your village, even though it seemed that nobody else could.

Or, you ended up making a deal with death, and now he’s come to collect.

Word count: 30k

Paring: Dabi x Reader (fem reader)

Warnings: Mentions of death, strong language, smut, so Minors or ageless blogs DNI. This is rated 18+ Additional tags listed below. This does take place in a somewhat medieval inspired AU so there are some misogynistic tones in some parts of the story.

Playlist: Sparky Deathcap – September (we got fire) instrumental version, slowed.

Thank you once again to the lovely @candycandy00 for editing this for me, and another massive thank you to miss @kimkaelyn for making the banner for me! (I love it so much!)

You sigh to yourself as you check medical supplies in your village’s apothecary, making a mental note to tell the healer you’re training under that you’re running low on Feverfew and Echinacea.

Fall has arrived in full swing. The dense forest that surrounds your town has changed its leaves from vibrant green to beautiful shades of red and yellow. It’s beautiful, but you’ve never been much of a fall person. You know what comes next. The autumn months mean winter is close behind, and you’ve never liked the cold. For some reason, you can’t shake the feeling that this upcoming winter is going to be a particularly bad one.

You shake your head and return to your task at hand, but you can’t stop your mind from wandering as you continue to take stock of the medical inventory.

After the mysterious disappearance of your betrothed, your parents didn’t try to engage you to anyone else, and you can’t help but feel relieved. Marrying one of the men from your village was never in the cards for you, a fact that you made very clear to them after your formal betrothal’s disappearance. You weren’t interested in marriage or raising a family of your own. Not right now, possibly not ever.

In the end, you decided to train under your village’s healer – a kind old woman named Chiyo, who’s been the town healer for longer than you’ve been alive – as a means of getting out from under your parents.

Despite word of your betrothal’s mysterious disappearance quickly spreading throughout your village, there had been some other potential suitors that had come to you after you had started training at the apothecary. While none of them were rude or malicious, you always turned them down with a gentle smile before sending them on their way.

Besides, none of them held your heart the way a certain pyromancer did.

You haven’t seen Touya for a few months now, not since the disappearance of your betrothed. You’re not completely sure what happened after Touya found him – you’re not sure if you want to know, even though you have a pretty good idea of what happened if the fresh burns he had come back with had anything to say about it. You know better than to ask though, knowing full well that Touya will never tell you the full truth, even if you already know without him having to say it.

You sometimes wonder if there’s anything left of the blacksmith’s son.

You know that you should feel shocked, horrified even, that your pyromancer was capable of doing such an atrocious thing. But all you feel when you think about it, is a strange sense of relief.

You wonder if that makes you a bad person.

Inwardly, you know it probably should, especially when the blacksmith came looking for his son not long after his disappearance. When he had asked you if you knew anything about why his son had seemingly taken off without so much as a word to anyone, you had said no, of course, because what else could you have said to him? It’s not like anyone aside from you could see Touya to begin with, and there no way to explain to the blacksmith the fate that had most likely befallen his son.

Regardless, all you knew was that you’d never see him again. Touya had made sure of that.

There are still search parties that go out every once in a while, looking for him and a part of you wants to tell them that it’s a waste of time, that he’s nowhere to be found, but you won’t. It’s yours and Touya’s dirty secret to share now, and it will stay that way until you take your dying breath.

You suppress a sigh as you take a break from checking inventory, and your thoughts wander back to Touya of their own accord. He had warned you that he wouldn’t be back for some time after he had brought you home – he had serious business to take care of in the eastern part of the country, and he wasn’t sure when he’d be back. You hope he’s doing well, wherever he is.

Your heart clenches when you think of him. You’re not sure what you are anymore. You told him that you loved him, and even though he didn’t say it back to you, you’re certain that he loves you too.

“You know why.” Those words have echoed in your head since he said them to you. You’ve known that the two of you have been bordering on the cusp of something for a while now, and that solidifies it.

You promise yourself that the next time he comes to see you, you’ll ask him what you are to him. What this is.

Eventually, Chiyo dismisses you in the midafternoon, and you find yourself taking the lonely path up towards Dabi’s temple. You’ve started going there a lot more in Touya’s absence. Ever since you kissed the white-haired pyromancer in Dabi’s temple, you had started making a habit of coming back to the derelict temple, in an effort to clean it up a little.

For some reason, Touya seems to have a fondness for the place, and you’re starting to understand why. Despite its outward appearance and dust covered insides, you’ve never once felt unwelcome in the temple itself. It’s calm and quiet, and the more you visit the abandoned shrine, you realize it’s really a shame that it was abandoned by the priests, because it was probably quite beautiful back in the day.

With that thought, you had decided to take it upon yourself to try and restore the temple back to its original glory.

When you had brought up what you wanted to clean Dabi’s shrine to the priests at Hawks’s temple, you had been met with disbelieving looks, as the temple itself had sat vacant for well over a century. But once you had assured them that you weren’t there to cause trouble, and that you only wanted to clean it up a little, they had relented, and even gave you cleaning supplies, telling you that if you needed help, all you needed to do was come and get them.

You had laughed to yourself as you took the cleaning supplies back with you to the temple. The only reason why you had gone to them in the first place was to tell them what you planned to do, regardless of whether they liked it or not. Hawks’s temple was the closest to Dabi’s, and you’d end up walking past it to get to the secluded shrine more often than not. The last thing you needed was them assuming that you were doing something strange, when it was the exact opposite.

You soon found yourself in front of the large double doors once more, but unlike the first time you had entered the temple, you didn’t hesitate to let yourself in this time, shutting them softly behind you. You set your shawl down by the entrance and take off your shoes to avoid tracking any dirt in from the outside. You breathe in deeply as the faint smell of incense hits your nose, looking around the large room with a content smile on your face.

It’s not perfect, but its far better than what it was previously. You’ve washed and cleaned the floors and walls, sweeping out almost a century’s worth of dust and other debris. You’ve scraped the ancient remains of melted candle wax off the alter in front of Dabi’s statue, and replaced the melted down prayer candles with new ones. You brought in some pillows and plush rugs from home that your mother was about to throw out, not wanting them to go to waste, and also wanting to make the temple more homey, in case anyone aside from yourself wanted to visit. You keep incense burning constantly to get rid of the musty smell that has always lingered around the temple, and it finally seems to be working. Lastly, with the help of two priests from Hawks’s temple, you were finally able to fix that damn hole in the ceiling above the statue of the Cremation God.

Now you’re at the temple to do one last thing: clean the giant marble statue of the Death God himself. You didn’t see much of a point cleaning it before the hole got fixed, but thankfully, the sculpture doesn’t seem to be very dirty. Still, you want to go over it, and wash down what you can reach – it’s only polite after all.

Besides, after what you learned about him from Touya, you figure that it’s not a bad idea to stay in the illusive god’s good graces--

“Hello Princess.”

You jump at the sound of a familiar smoky rasp, and whirl around, only to see Touya standing a few feet behind you, a smirk plastered across his dis-coloured lips.

“Touya! When did you get here? I thought you said you didn’t know when you were going to be back! Did you finish with whatever you were doing in the East early?” you gasp delightedly, as the tall man strides towards you. He shakes his head.

“No, the situation there is a bit more… serious then I originally thought. I’m probably going to be there for a while yet, but I had some time, and I wanted to see you.” He stops directly in front of you, and his smirk becomes softer. “How have you been? I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve been… keeping busy.” You tell him, lacing your hands together in front of you. “I’ve started working at the village apothecary. Chiyo runs a tight ship, but I’m learning a lot from her and she’s good to me.”

“What did your parents think about that?”

“Well… they weren’t pleased, but that’s more to do with me telling them that I won’t be courting anyone anytime soon. I told them I wasn’t interested, nor will I ever be. My mother isn’t happy, but at least she hasn’t forced me into any other engagements… not after what happened before you left.” You tell him honestly, and Touya only nods, his expression not giving anything away.

“Glad they’ve finally taken the hint. What else have you gotten up to, pretty girl?”

“Take a look around, you tell me.” You tell him with a tiny smile. You watch his brows furrow together in confusion, and he looks around the room, only for his eyes to widen, like he’s seeing the temple for the first time.

You watch as he investigates the plush rugs and pillows you have scattered around the base of the alter, how he takes in the sight of fresh prayer candles lit at the bottom of the statue – how clean and bright and warm you’ve managed to make it, since you were both here last. He seems overwhelmed, like he’s at a loss for words.

“I did it for you.” You admit softly, feeling your face heat up with your admission.

“You did this… for me?” he asks slowly, not looking at you, as he takes in everything that you’ve done. You smile softly at him even though he can’t see it.

“You seem to be pretty fond of this place, and you know so much about its history, I thought that maybe I could fix it up a little so I could have something to show you when you came back.” That gets his attention, and he fixes his azure eyes on you, locking you in place.

“You did this for me.”

“I… yes… Do you not like it?” you sputter, suddenly worried that you’ve done something wrong.

“No, Gods no. You did this for me.” He says breathlessly. “This is more than I could have ever hoped for.” He closes the remaining space between you, and his obscenely warm hands find your waist, while yours automatically come rest on his chest. “God’s you did this for me.”

“Yes.” You whisper. “Touya? I don’t understand--?”

The words die on your lips as Touya surges forwards and presses his rough lips to yours. You feel the grip he has on your waist turn bruising, as he kisses you hard and deep, bordering on desperate.

“I love you.” He tells you, pulling away momentarily to bring one hand up from your waist to cup the back of your neck. “I love you. You were the first person to see me in so long – I knew you were different, I knew you were for me, and then you did this-“

He smashes his lips back onto yours, and you wrap your hands around his neck. Normally, you’d be mindful of his burns, but you’re so engrossed in his feverish kisses that you squeeze him tightly, and feel him moan into your mouth in response. He pulls back slightly for air, and pants heavily against you.

“Let me have you.” He growls against your lips. “Right here, right now. Gods help me I can’t wait any longer. I need to have you. I need you.”

“Okay, I—okay—yes.” You hear yourself gasping, and suddenly you’re swept off your feet. You feel your back hit something soft. Turning your head slightly to the side, you realize that Touya has placed you down onto a small pile of pillows. The realization of what you’re about to do hits you full force, but you don’t feel scared. You want this, you want him. You’ve wanted him for a long time.

Touya looms over you, caging you in, and runs the back of a heavily scared hand over your cheek. You shiver from the sensation of his feverishly hot skin and the cooler tones of the staples in his hand running over your skin. He gives you a wicked smile, as he sits back on his haunches, and starts to push your skirts up, revealing your bare legs.

You lurch up and grab his hands, forcing him to pause. He chuckles low in his throat at your actions, and pries your hands off of his own, placing a kiss on the back of one as his azure blue eyes meets your flushed face. “Relax my love. Let me take care of you.”

“It’s just- I mean, I’ve never done this before. I’m-“

“I know.” Touya damn near purrs, and you feel heat pool in your belly. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll be so gentle with you, I promise.”

You nod shakily and lower yourself back down onto the pillows, as Touya hikes your skirts up, revealing your legs and bottoms. He groans deeply as he kneads the plush of your thighs. “Fuck Princess, you’re perfect. Just like I knew you would be.”

“You’ve thought about me?” For some reason, his words of endearment strike a chord with you.

“Of course.” Touya murmurs, coming up to kiss you briefly, before taking your hand in one of his own. “Whenever I’m away, or I’m in the middle of a mission – alone and lonely – I think of you.”

He brings your hand down to his crotch, and sure enough, you feel a bulge underneath his pants. “See what you do to me?” he growls as he releases your hand so that he can work on shimmying your panties down your legs. You go to move your hand away, but he fixes you with a stern look. “Keep it there. Don’t move until I tell you to.”

You nod as he hooks his fingers into the band of your panties and leans back slightly to pull them down your legs, almost ripping them off in his haste. As soon as the offending material is gone, Touya gently wraps his hands around you knees and pulls them up so your feet are planted on the ground, before nestling his way back in between them, not taking his eyes off of the junction in between your legs.

“Gods.” He whispers. “Fuck.”

You feel him throb in the thick canvases of his pants as he runs a finger through your folds, causing you to shudder and clench around nothing. “God love, you’re fucking soaked.” Touya hisses, as he pushes your hand away from his hardness and rips his cloak over his head, revealing his bare chest to you.

In all the years that you’ve known him, you’ve never seen him this exposed. His chest is a patchwork of scars and staples just like his arms and face. Most of the skin is dead and badly burnt, but you do see some spots where there are still glimpses of healthy skin amongst the mess of purpled burns. Just like you suspected, his body is lean but ripped with corded muscles that bunch and flex with his every move. He looks like he was built by a god – a god with a twisted sense of humor – but you could care less. You think he’s perfect.

“You’re beautiful.” You tell him honestly – not wanting him to think you were focusing only on his burns – and he looks almost bashful at your words, letting a small chuckle escape him as he gently picks up one of your hands to press a quick kiss on the back of your knuckles.

“Look who’s talking.” He fires back at you, as he uses his thumbs to spread your lower lips apart. It should be embarrassing how wet you are from a little teasing, but Touya looks absolutely enthralled. 

“Is all this for me?” he muses to himself softly. Before you can ask him what he’s doing, he bends down and swipes his tongue through your folds, causing you to moan loudly and try to slam your legs closed on impulse, but Touya is faster – forcing them to stay open with a hand on each inner thigh as he continues to lap at your pussy.

You whimper involuntarily from the ministrations, and Touya squeezes your thighs as he comes back up. “I know, I know love. I can’t wait any longer either. Goddamn-“ he almost snarls; his hands immediately going to his belt, as he unfastens it and tosses it to the side somewhere.

“I can’t believe someone as beautiful as you is letting someone like me do this to them.” he mutters as he pushes his pants down to just past mid-thigh, allowing his dick to spring free – and through you’ve never seen a man’s cock until now – you’re certain that it’s the prettiest one that you’ll ever see.

It’s long and thick and curves slightly upwards. It’s as pale as the undamaged parts of his skin and you think it looks quite lovely. You’re a little nervous about the size of it, but Touya doesn’t allow you to look at it for long, before he’s lining himself up to your entrance.

You swallow thickly as you feel how big and hot the head is pressed up against your tight entrance, and Touya must sense your hesitation, because he drapes himself over you, supporting himself on his hands, as he takes both your hands in one of his own, and gently pins them above your head, stooping down to kiss you once more.

“Breathe.” He murmurs, his breath ghosting over your lips hotly. “I’ll make you feel so good. Just lie back and breathe for me, my love.”

And with that, he slowly pushes himself in.

The stretch is delicious and you know that he’s ruined you for any other potential man. But there’s never been anyone else, has there? From the moment you officially met, it’s always been him. It will only ever be him.

Touya is cursing above you, but you can’t hear him – too lost in your own pleasure. It isn’t long before he’s picking up a steady rhythm, his hips hitting against yours with a wet smack. You’re so wet from his earlier teasing that he glides in and out with little resistance, and you feel your legs starting to shake from the waves of pleasure he’s inflicting upon you.

“Gods, how are you so tight?” Touya groans as he leans down to capture your lips with his. You kiss him back eagerly, wishing that your hands were free so you could wrap them around his neck, but he only tightens his grip on them when he feels you start to resist against his hold. He pulls back after a moment to take in your pretty face and glassy eyes, his hips not slowing down, as they continue to rut into yours.

“You’re mine.” He snarls hotly, swooping down to suck a mark onto the junction of your neck and shoulder, causing you to cry out and clench around him.

“You’re mine- fuck it, you’re mine, no one else’s.” He sucks another mark onto the other side of your neck, and you feel your eyes roll to the back of your head, as something in your lower stomach snaps – the wet sounds of your union becoming louder as you cum around his cock. Touya’s hips falter for a fraction of a second as he registers what happened, before he the last shred of restraint he had snaps, and starts pounding into you relentlessly, ignoring your sobs as he stimulates your already oversensitive insides.

“When you told me… that they had engaged you to that bastard-” He hisses lowly in your ear, as you continue to sob. “-I almost burnt your damn village to the ground. How dare they try to take what’s mine?”

A dark look enters his blue irises. “I wanted to fuck you right here in this temple afterwards – send a message to your parents and anyone else who thought they could have you, that you were spoken for.”

“Touya- I’m-“ you barely manage to choke out in between sobs. Your body feels like it’s on fire from his words. You feel the tell-tale signs of another orgasm quickly approaching, and you didn’t think it was possible for you to feel so good with the way he’s now mercilessly drilling into your insides. You had talked with your married friends about sex before, that was a given, but even they didn’t describe it as feeling this good.

“Tell me who you belong to.” He pulls away, his eyes never leaving yours. “Tell me who you belong to, and I’ll give you everything.”

“You!” You manage to scream out, voice cracking as he hits a particularly sensitive spot in you. “It’s you! I’ve always belonged to you—you alone! I’ve only ever loved—Oh GODS!” you wail as you cum around his length again. The glint in Touya’s eyes become frantic and his hips stutter as you spasm violently around him. He finally let’s go of your wrists, in favour of grabbing your hips with both hands to pull you down onto him and meet his powerful thrusts.

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” He breathes. “Fuck love; I’m going to fill you full of me. Let the whole world – the gods – all of them, know you belong to me-“

You keen at his words, and he manages to grind out a breathy, “Shit-“ as he spills himself inside you, swooping down to capture your lips with his rough ones again, as he fucks his cum into you. You’re so blissed out, all you can do is wrap your arms tightly around his leathery neck, until his hips still; still buried deep inside of you.

Eventually you break the kiss, but Touya makes no move to get off of you. He moves his hands up from your hips, so he can take some of his weight off you, and rests his head on your collarbone, as he struggles to calm his palpating heart. You wriggle your hips and Touya grimaces, mouthing over one of the marks he sucked onto your neck.

“Wait.” He mumbles. “Give it a minute. It’s sensitive.” His comment pulls a laugh from you, and you feel him grin against your skin.

You stay joined like that until you feel his dick soften inside you, and Touya gently pulls out of you. You whimper at empty feeling, and close your legs as you feel a rush of fluid that you already know is a combination of both of your releases, leak out from in-between your legs. Touya smiles at your reaction, the staples in his face pulling slightly as he strokes the leg closest to him gently.

He rolls onto his back on the pillows beside you, and pulls you onto your side, so your head is on his chest. You listen to the rapid beating of his heart, and watch as his chest rises and falls with each breath he takes. It almost lulls you to sleep, but Touya suddenly speaks up after a moment, catching your attention.

“I am the only one allowed to see you like this.” He rumbles low in his throat, running a warm hand down your side, feeling the muscles jump underneath his touch. “No man, no one. You belong to me. I’ll take such good care of you.”

“But you’re going to leave me again.” You whisper, hating how you feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “You said so yourself: you have unfished business in the East still. Who knows when you’re coming back…Besides… No one can see you aside from me. How can I possibly explain this to anyone?”

“It’ll be different this time, I swear it.” Touya shushes you, smoothing a hand over your hair. “I’m going to be in the East for a while yet, but when I come back, I’m going to stay here with you, for a long time. No more disappearing acts for a while.”

You lift your head off his chest to stare at him in shock, to gage if he’s saying it to make you feel better, but you see nothing but honesty in his eyes. He touches your cheek. “I promise little one. I’ll make it work. I will stay with you. For as long as I can.”

You don’t mean to, but you can’t stop the tears that well up in your eyes and spill past your cheeks at his promise, as you place your head down on his scared chest and cry. You don’t know how long you stay like that, but Touya makes no effort to get up – simply holding you close and murmuring sweet nothings into your hair as you weep.

It’s getting harder and harder to say goodbye to him every time he leaves. You feel like your heart is breaking inside of your ribcage, whenever he has to go. This time is no different, but it will certainly leave you feeling hollower than the other times that came before.

Eventually, once your tears have dried, you separate to get dressed and fix yourselves up. You’re straightening out your skirts as Touya tosses his dark traveling cloak back over his torso, obscuring his muscular chest from view. He must see you blushing, because he tosses you a grin over his shoulder at you, moving to grab your shoes and shawl for you from the front of the temple.

He kisses you as you wrap your shawl around yourself, and rests his forehead against yours. “Thank you.” He tells you, gesturing around the temple. “For doing this. It means more to me than you know.” You nod in response, and he intertwines your hands together as he leads you to the temple entrance and you exit together. 

He kisses you deeply once more outside the temple. He has a pained expression on his face when he pulls away, and he looks like he wants to tell you something important, but something is holding him back. He’s quiet for a moment before he squeezes your hand.

“I need you to promise me something while I’m gone.” He tells you seriously, and you nod, signaling for him to continue. He sucks in a sharp intake of breath.

“Promise me that you’ll take care of your health while I’m away. If someone comes to the apothecary with a strange sickness, or any signs of odd infections outside of a normal fever – I want you to go home and stay there.”

You furrow your brows, not understanding what he’s saying, but one look at his face tells you that he’s deadly serious and it’s not open for discussion.

You agree that you’ll be careful, and you’ll keep your eyes open for anything strange, and that seems to put him at ease. He kisses you once more before letting go of your hand, and slowly backs away from you. Once he’s a good distance away from you, he smiles sadly at you, before a raging torrent of blue flames engulf him once more, and he’s gone.

Life in the village goes on as normal for the next two months. The brightly coloured leaves that once decorated the trees surrounding your village have started to fall off the branches with large gusts of wind as winter draws closer.

You throw yourself into work at the apothecary, grateful for how busy it keeps you. You haven’t heard anything from Touya for a while now, and you can’t help but wonder what’s going on in the East that has him so tied up. You haven’t heard any news from the Eastern part of the county in a long time, so if something big is going on, your town will probably be one of the last places to know. You don’t see much sense in worrying about it though, so you divide your time between visiting Dabi’s temple, and Chiyo’s teachings.

You’ve almost forgotten about Touya’s cryptic warning – until the stranger shows up in town one day. (Or rather, stumbled in – since he didn’t even make it three feet from the town’s entrance before collapsing in the streets, leading to several concerned townspeople finding him and bringing him to the apothecary for treatment)

He’s malnourished and sicker than you’ve ever seen anyone in your life. You and Chiyo spend days caring for him, with no results.

He dies one week after arriving in town, and is buried just outside of the village borders. An unfortunate tragedy, but you can’t save everyone. A harsh lesson that your mentor has drilled into you. You never even figured out what was afflicting him, though Chiyo think’s it may have been an advanced case of pneumonia.

At first, it was just him.  

Then, another man got sick with symptoms eerily similar to what the stranger had.

Then it was two.

Then three.

Then twelve people in one day.

The number of infected only skyrocket from there.

Before you know it: there is an entire epidemic in your small town. Chiyo eventually figures out what it is, but by that point, eight people are dead and the number of people sick is quickly spiraling out of control.

Plague. The black plague of decay. Death.

Your parents beg you to come home, as they don’t want you around such a deadly sickness, and truthfully, you don’t want to be anywhere near it either – but you can’t leave Chiyo by herself. She’s the town’s only healer and she’s old. You know if something happens to her, the whole town is screwed, so you grit your teeth, mask up, and stay by her side.

For a while, things are going about as well as they can be. People are still dying at an alarming rate, but you and Chiyo somehow manage to stay healthy, and you keep trying to treat those who aren’t as sick the best you can with what you’ve got.

Then one day, you feel light-headed and nauseous out of the blue and you look down, only to notice an alarmingly dark black spot on your arm that you know wasn’t there the day before.

Everything goes downhill from there.

-----

Winter has arrived in your village full force, but you can’t see it. You haven’t seen anything outside of the four walls that make up your room for a while now.

You had caught the plague. The second you had shown Chiyo the black mark on your arm, she had immediately sent you away with some herbs crushed into a tablet for you to take to slow down the spread of the sickness.

Slow down being the key words. There was no cure for the decay plague. Once you had it, it was a death sentence. It was only a matter of time before it took your life.

Your parents had grabbed you and locked you in your room the moment they had seen you stumbling back from the apothecary. You hadn’t seen them face-to-face since. You only saw brief glimpses of them when they opened your door to slide food into your room on a tray, or when they came back to collect your dishes, though these days, you didn’t have much of an appetite.

They didn’t even have to let you back into the house once they saw the mark on your arm. But they still did without any hesitation. Despite knowing how ill you were going to become, they still insisted on taking care of you. You may not have agreed with their choices when it came to your personal life, but it was comforting to know that at the end of the day, your parents still loved you. Even if you went against everything they wanted for you.

A violent fit of coughing racks your frail body, and you automatically lift your arms to cover your mouth. When you pull your arm away, you cringe at the sight of red splattered across your forearm, before dropping it back down beside you on your bed with a muffled thud.

You can’t even look at your arms right now. Your skin, which used to be sun-kissed and clear, is now pale and speckled with ominous looking splotches of black, as the sickness makes its way through your body. You don’t even want to know what the rest of you looks like. You haven’t looked at yourself in a mirror since you were confined to your room. You’re not sure you’ll be able to handle what you see.

The room starts to spin around you and everything hurts. You close your eyes in a weak attempt to stop the jarring movement, but it does little to help you. Opening your eyes doesn’t make things better – your vison has become burry lately, and you can’t focus on anything anymore. Normally this would upset you, but you don’t have any strength left in you to care.

You know that you don’t have much time left. You don’t want to say it out loud, but you know your time is drawing closer. Based on the few times you’ve heard your mother – and on occasion, your normally stoic father – sob outside your door as they collect your untouched dishes, they know it too. You’ve held out longer than most people have, but you know that soon you’ll be making your way to the Underworld, it’s inevitable.

You only pray that all the visits you’ve made to Dabi’s temple over the last few months have paid off, and the Cremation God will be kind to you once he comes to collect you.

Dabi. His temple. Touya.

You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes at the thought of your white-haired lover, as a single tear falls from your eye, and crashes onto your pillow, humble and silent. 

You’re never going to see him again. You don’t want to acknowledge it, but it’s true. As far as you know, he’s still in the East while you’re here, dying in your room. As tempted as you’ve been to use his name to call him to you one last time, you won’t.

Powers or not, you don’t want him to potentially end up with the plague too. Not to mention, you don’t want him to see you like this. You don’t want him to remember you sick and frail as you are now. You’d rather have him remember you fondly: full of life and happy. There’s no need to put him through that kind of anguish.

Still, it doesn’t stop you from wishing you could see him one last time-

Suddenly, your room feels unnaturally warm. It’s been very cold lately, and you don’t know if it’s because you’re dying that it makes your room feel colder than it should, but now your room is borderline sweltering.

You swear that you see a faint blue glow out of your blurry peripherals, followed by the tell-tale smell of something burning, before the glow dissipates into nothing. The intense heat remains and even though you can’t see very well, you know that someone is in the corner of your room.

“Who is it?” you manage to rasp out and you hear the stranger’s breath falter, as if they weren’t expecting you to be awake. The stranger takes three slow, purposeful strides until they are at your bedside, hovering over you. You blink hard, trying to see who the intruder is, but your vision must be getting worse, because all you can make out is a tall, white being above you.

You have no idea who, or what you’re looking at and are about to panic, until the figure bends slightly, and two familiar, warm, rough hands cradle your cheeks like you’re the most delicate thing in the world.

Choked sobs rack your body despite how much the movement hurts you, because you know who’s by your side, even if you can’t make out his finer features. Your suspicions are confirmed the second you hear his low, gravelly voice.

“Beloved… what has happened to you?”

“Touya… is that you?” you whisper, and you feel his fingers tense under you. His thumbs swipe at your cheeks, even though you can’t seem to make any more tears to shed.

“I’m here beloved. I’m here now.” he rumbles quietly. He falls silent for a moment, then you hear him ask “ Why didn’t you call me to you?”

He sounds… sad… heartbroken even.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this…” you trail off, not knowing what else to say. Touya doesn’t seem to know either, but from the way he sighs, you think he’s holding back tears as well.

“Did I not tell you to be careful?” There is no anger behind his words. Just defeat. You don’t think it’s directed at you though.

“I know.” You tell him, wishing desperately that you could lift your arms up enough to touch his face like he is doing yours. “It just happened so suddenly. There was a strange man who got sick, and then the next thing we knew, almost the whole town was plague-ridden. I couldn’t leave Chiyo by herself.”

“I know.” Touya sighs. “Are you… are you comfortable?”

“I can’t see very well anymore… I think I’m dying very soon.” You admit softly. You manage to reach up to cover one of his hands with your cold one. “You shouldn’t be here… as much as I love seeing you one last time, you might catch the plague as well – I don’t want that for you.”

“The plague doesn’t affect me. Don’t worry yourself about it.” Touya murmurs gently, and you swear you faintly see something red and thick, roll down his face. He leans down to press a light kiss to your forehead, and you’re not sure why, but suddenly your vision clears, and you’re able to see the best you have in weeks. You look up at him in wonder, only for your breath to catch in your throat.

Instead of his normal dark clothes that you’re used to seeing him in; Touya is dressed in a flowing, white burial shroud that exposes his chest. It makes him look eirthral, like a ghost that had come back from the grave. What really concerns you though, is the right side of his face – the side closest to you. The burnt flesh on his lower jaw by his mouth is gone, and you swear that you see the bone underneath starting to appear.

“Touya—Touya what happened to you? What have you done to yourself?”

“Don’t worry about me. It looks worse than it is.” Touya grumbles, dismissing your concerns. “The person that you should be worrying about, is you.”

“I think it’s a little late for that, love.” You tell him softly. “I’ve been sick for a while now… I’ve held out longer than a lot of other people have, but I think my luck is running out fast.”

This time you know you’re not seeing things. You watch in shock as a large droplet of blood oozes out from underneath the burnt skin under his eye and slowly rolls down his face, leaving a shiny red trail behind it as it makes its way down his ruined skin. You try to bring a hand up to wipe it away, but Touya beats you to it, releasing your cheeks long enough to turn away from you and compose himself.

“That crusty bastard. He promised me that he would keep it away from here… guess it got past him too-“ you hear Touya mutter under his breath. “It doesn’t matter now, gods… fuck.” He turns to face you again, and you see a red streak running along the side of his face, where he tried to wipe the blood tear away. His hands return to yours, and he wraps them up tightly.

“I tried… I tried so fucking hard to keep it contained. I thought, if I could contain it to the East, then it wouldn’t spread and it wouldn’t come here, to you. Even though I’ve seen it happen, so many times over the years. I thought I could change it.”

“Touya what are you talking about, you’re not making any sense.” You beg him, but he doesn’t seem to hear you, too wrapped up in his own head, as he squeezes your hands in his own.

 “It’s not fair. You’re so full of life. I don’t want you to die like this.”

Something in his gaze shifts and the sadness from earlier is gone. Instead, a determined look has appeared in its place. He cradles the back of your head and neck with one of his hands as he gently lifts your head up to him, flinching at your pained whimpers.

“Do you trust me?” he asks you urgently.

“Of course.” You whisper, your vison is starting to darken again, but you try and keep your focus on Touya’s bright blue eyes.

“I can stop this.” He murmurs. “I can stop this and save you and what’s left of your town. But you need to make a deal with me. Do you accept?”

“A deal…? Stop this… I don’t…” you whisper, and Touya squeezes your hand, desperate to keep your attention on him.

“The full extent of my abilities come with a price. I can save you, but at a cost.”

“What’s the price?” you find yourself asking. You’re not sure how he intends to save anyone from something as severe as the plague with no cure; much less yourself, considering that you’re almost certainly on death’s doorstep, but you’re curious. Even if you’re beyond saving, maybe your town still has a chance.

“You.”

“Me.” You echo, still fighting to keep your gaze on him. “Why?”

“I told you already, you’re mine, you’ve always been mine. But this will bind us to each other indefinitely. Your life will become mine in exchange for me removing the sickness from you and your village. Do we have a deal?”

“Am I really worth that much?” you tease hoarsely, as you feel your eyes start to close against your will.

“You mean more to me than anything in this pathetic life.” You hear Touya grind out. “Let me do this for you. Please.”

He squeezes your hand, and his next words sound almost desperate. “I’ve never begged anyone for anything in my lifetime and I’ve lived a long time. Please let me do this for you.”

You know that under different circumstances, you wouldn’t agree to anything like this. Touya’s words are carrying an underlying weight to them, and you know there’s something that he’s not telling you. Normally, before agreeing to anything, you’d make sure everything was out in the open and that there weren’t any catches to your deal… but really, how much time did you have to ask about the finer details?

You were out of time. You knew it, and he knew it too.

Really, how bad would it be being his? Wasn’t that what you always wanted anyways?

“I accept.” You whisper, as your world fades to black, not even sure if Touya heard you or not.

He did.

The next few moments are a whirlwind. You feel Touya stand up above you and his hands go to your left forearm – to the spot where you first noticed the sickness. It’s arguably the worst spot on your body. The darkness has spread underneath your skin and takes up almost your full forearm now.

You feel his warm hands press into the skin of your forearm, and for a moment, nothing happens. Then his hands start to heat up, hotter and hotter, and you can smell something burning. You don’t know whether it’s your flesh or his, but you don’t have the energy to scream out, even though the pain is excruciating.

There’s a bright blue flash and you feel something being seared into your arm – in the same spot where your original plague mark was. Heat spreads through your body like a wildfire, and you feel like you’re being burned from the inside out. Suddenly, as quickly as the pain started it’s gone.

You’re shaking, gasping for air as you try to control your rapidly palpating heart, but you can’t open your eyes. Exhaustion hits you full force, and you feel what little strength you had left in you bleed out. Touya is still there, and you feel him slowly ease you back down onto your pillow, placing your arm down at your side once more.

“Rest now beloved. I’ll see you soon.”

No sooner than he says those words, you feel yourself slip off into slumber, and you allow the darkness to take you.

You wake to the sun streaming across your face

It’s the first time you’ve seen any hint of the sun in months, and at first, you think that you’ve died, but the tell-tale signs of stiffness in your muscles tell you that you’re still very much alive, if not very dehydrated.

The thought draws you up short.

You’re alive. You’re alive when you probably shouldn’t be. That means… Touya… he’d done it.

A burning feeling races through your left forearm and draws you up short. You slowly bring your arm up to look at what’s causing the pain, only for your eyes to widen impossibly.

The dark stain under your skin caused by the plague is gone, as are all of the other signs of sickness that had marked your body. What is on your arm, is nothing short of confusing.

A strange symbol is on your arm, in the spot you remember Touya gripping the hardest. A long, straight line runs horizontally done your forearm with three smaller lines running through it. Another long, straight line along the top of the first line completes the marking, and you stare at it in shock.

It covers the spot where you had your original plague mark, almost as if you’d never had it at all.

You reach out and gingerly touch the mark, only for your door to open suddenly – causing you to yank your nightgown sleeve down in a hurry. You glance over to see both of your parents standing in your doorway. It seems to take them a moment to process that you’re awake, and seemingly plague free, before they rushed to your bedside and have pull you into a tight hug.

“You’re awake! Thank gods you’re awake! We thought that we lost you for sure!” your mother sobs, as she clutches you to herself. You’re shocked, and you ask her what she means, only for her to hold you tighter.

“You’ve been asleep for three days. You wouldn’t wake up! Nothing we did worked.” Your mother cries, and you feel your heart drop.

Three days? What did that mean for everyone else?

“We’ve heard from Chiyo that all of the patients at the apothecary have also recovered. She’s not sure how, but the plague seems to have disappeared.” Your father states gruffly, as he strokes your hair. “It’s some sort of miracle.”

Yes, and his name is Touya. You think to yourself. Just what was he, to be able to have the power to dispel a sickness as deadly as the decay plague from an entire town?

“We do have a visitor downstairs, if you feel up to meeting with him.” Your mother informs you as she passes you a cup of water. “Some of the priests are visiting homes on Chiyo’s orders, to check in on families and see if anyone is still sick. The head priest from the Endeavor temple is here. I’m sure he’d love to check in on you now that you’re awake.”

You don’t particularly want anyone to see you right now, knowing that you must look awful and you would much rather go find Touya, provided that he was still in town somewhere – but you nod anyways. Your mother tells you to take your time getting ready, as she and your father leave your room, saying that she would tell the priest to wait downstairs.

The process to get ready is painfully slow. Your muscles are weak from a lack of use, but you’re able to wash yourself if you move carefully. You slip on a clean dress, making sure that the mark on your forearm is fully covered, and run a brush through your wet locks before deciding that was enough, and gingerly make your way downstairs.

You slowly make your way into the living room where you see the priest from Endeavor’s temple sitting in one of the armchairs, waiting for you. He’s a large man, dressed in Endeavor’s traditional colours: dark blues and fiery oranges and reds. Your parents leave when you enter to give you some privacy and the priest points to the chair across from him.

“Have a seat girl.” He tells you, and you sit without a word. You fidget uncomfortably as he looks you over carefully, before finally speaking. “Chiyo specifically asked me to come check on you and see how you’re doing. She wanted to thank you for all your help at the beginning of this mess. She wanted to come herself, but she has a few things to take care of at the apothecary. She sends her regards.”

“Oh, it was my honor. I couldn’t leave her there all alone.” You tell him, lifting your arm to wave off his praise without thinking about it. You realize your mistake too late, as the sleeve covering your forearm slowly rolls down to your elbow, revealing the mark etched into your skin.

The priest stops dead the second he glances at your forearm, ad his eyes widen impossibly. He points shakily to the mark etched into your arm. “Where did you get that from girl? Who did that to your arm?”

You hesitate. How can you possibly explain Touya to him? No one aside from you could see him. They’d call you mad if you tried to be honest, and would cast you out from your home. What would you do then?

‘I… I don’t know if you’d believe me if I told you.” You mutter, clutching your arm close to you. “Why, what’s so special about this mark?”

“That is Dabi’s seal.” The priest hisses as he snaps his fingers at you, and you feel your heart drop into your stomach. “I haven’t seen a mark like that for decades now, but he is closely connected to my lord Endeavor and I’d recognize it anywhere. It has been rumored that he puts that mark onto people who enter into deals with him. I’m wondering how you ended up with it on your arm.”

Your world crumbles around you at his words, and the illusion that you had unknowingly walked into, shattered.

Dabi, Touya, Dabi, Touya, Dabi, Touya, Dabi, Touya-

Touya is Dabi.

How could you not have seen it sooner? Looking back on it, the signs were obvious: how he knew so much about Dabi – or rather, himself. How he could seamlessly travel across large areas with very little effort. How he had powers that far surpassed any mage or race you’d heard of. How he never seemed to age… How his body had lasted so long despite the burns that were very clearly getting worse as time passed by-

The thought draws you up short. A hazy memory of Touya standing over your deathbed. A chunk of his flesh missing from the side of his mouth… looking more worn down than you could ever remember seeing him… Suddenly, you have to find him.

And you think you know exactly where he is.

“I-I have to go.” You mutter, shakily rising to your feet. The priest tries to get you to sit back down, but you shove him off. You barely have time to throw a light shawl around your shoulders and put your shoes on, before you’re running out the door in the direction of Dabi’s temple, ignoring the surprised shouts of your parents.

You are reminded how weak your body currently is, as you have to stop and catch your breath several times on the way to the temple, ignoring the looks that a few curious townspeople are giving you, as you eventually make your way to the temple.

This time, you don’t need to reach for the doors, since they seem to open on their own for you. You step through the entrance and they close behind you softly, shutting you away from the sunshine outside. You notice the temple is seemingly empty, but the prayer candles are lit at the base of Dabi’s statue, and the flames are blue.

He’s here, somewhere, you know it, you feel it, but for some reason, he hasn’t shown himself to you yet. It makes you worry and prompts you to call out his name softly.

“I’m here, beloved.”

The familiar rasp of his voice echoes from behind the larger-than-life sculpture. You smile in spite of yourself, and move closer to the sound of his voice, where you can just make out a shadowy figure partly concealed behind the base of the stature.

“Don’t come any closer.” The harsh growl makes you pause.

“Why?” you ask the shadow and you see two familiar blue eyes staring back at you from the gloom.

“You’re not going to like what you see.”

You hesitate for a fraction of a second before you shake your head. “I don’t care. You know I don’t care about what you look like.” You swallow before adding on. “I think you and I need to talk about some things… about you.”

“So, you figured it out?” the figure rumbles, and you nod.

“There are some things I need to know. Things that I need to understand. But please, I just want to see you. Come out.” You extend your hand towards the shadow, and hear him sigh deeply, before shuffling closer to you.

A burnt hand takes hold of yours, dwarfing it, and the man—no, the deity, pulls himself into the light provided by the candles. He watches as your face changes from confusion, to shock realization, then to—

He doesn’t think he can do it; he can’t watch as you reject him. He knows that he doesn’t look pretty. He looks like a walking corpse and he knows this. He looks more dead than alive and honestly, he is. He knew he shouldn’t hang around the temple, knowing that you’d eventually come looking for him once you had recovered enough, but he’d wanted to see you one last time before he made the inevitable trip back home to the underworld – even if it meant you seeing him like this—

“Oh, Touya. Did… did you do this to yourself to cure me?” you whisper so softly; he wasn’t sure if he heard you correctly. He risks glancing back at you, only to see that your face hasn’t twisted in disgust upon his reveal. You’re holding his hand so tightly, like you’re afraid that he’ll crumble to ash if you don’t, and maybe he would, he’s not sure anymore.

Your eyes meet his, and he sees unshed tears in them. There is no repulsion or fear in your eyes like he thought there might be, there is only concern and worry for him, and he feels his once dead heart thunder in his burnt chest.

He wishes he could feel the texture of your soft hands on him again, but the burns are deep and have spread everywhere now. All he can feel is pressure on his hand where you’re holding it in your own. Suddenly, he feels more vulnerable than he has in a long time.

You stare back at him, trying your best not to shed the tears you feel forming – knowing that they won’t help anything. What remained of Touya’s once beautiful, pale skin is gone. His entire body is covered in deep russet scaring. The mess of staples that he hadn’t bothered to remove or replace, were scattered across his body where they had once held the damaged and healthy skin together. Parts of his body – where you assume the skin had been thinnest on him – are burned almost completely down to the bone. The skin by one side of his mouth is almost gone, and the flesh near his wrist on his other hand – the one that he didn’t give you – has been burnt down to where you can see the tendons flexing when he moves.

He's still wearing the white robes from before. He looks like a wraith, a sight that would terrify even the bravest of people, but it stirs no such feelings in you.

“Does it hurt?” You whisper, not knowing what else to say. He shakes his head.

“I can’t feel anything anymore.”

“Oh.” You croak, not sure if his answer made you feel any better. It doesn’t, but you try not to let it show on your face.

The deity gently removes his hand from yours and moves several paces back from you, as if he’s trying not to upset you. You feel a lump rise in your throat, but push it down. “Did you do that to yourself to cure me from the plague?” you ask him again and he only nods once.

“You and what’s left of your town. I told you; I make good on my promises. It’s the blowback that gets me. Shigaraki won’t like what I’ve done, but he can’t do anything about it.”

You frown at the mention of the other name. You swear that you’ve heard it before somewhere, but you can’t place where from. Maybe if you remember, you’ll ask him about it later, but right now, you have other things you need him to clarify.

“Can I ask you something, my lord?” Dabi snorts at your formalities, and waves you off.

“Please. None of that from you, Princess.  If I wanted you to call me by my titles, I would’ve made you do it when we first met.”

You can’t help the small smile that pulls at your lips. You’d been slightly worried that knowing his identity would change the dynamic of your relationship with him. Thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case.  

“How come I could see you when no one else could?” you question him. Dabi pauses for a moment, seemingly trying to figure out how to explain himself.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” He responds after a moment. “We walk amongst mortals all the time; we’re just hidden in plain sight. Some humans are different than others, and are able to see us for what we really are, but most mortals can’t see through our disguises. I choose to be invisible, it’s much easier to do my job that way. Normally, the only time humans can see me is when I come to collect their soul, or when I let them see me purposefully. But you,” he fixes you with his intense stare that you’ve grown used to.

“you were an abnormity. I’ve only ever met one or two other mortals in my time alive that were able to see me, even when I was invisible to everyone else.”

“What did you do to them?” you don’t know what prompts you to ask. Dabi looks away from you.

“I killed them.”

“Why though?” You’re not sure if you want to know his reasoning, but this may be the only time you get to ask him.

“Because no one is supposed to see me – it’s taboo. The only time I’m supposed to be visible to mortals is when I come to take you to the Underworld with me. I can’t let people wander around telling others that Death himself is coming. Do you know how much chaos that would cause on the surface?” Dabi snickers to himself.

“But I could see you, and you didn’t kill me.” You press. Dabi lets a small smile pull at what remains of the muscles in his cheeks.

“No, I didn’t.” he agrees quietly.

“Were you going to?” you ask, remembering how tense he was the first time you met face to face.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you?” You’re not mad about the revelation. You’re just curious. What made you so different from the others that came before you?

“I was going to… But something told me not to.” Dabi trails off, seemingly not having the words to describe why he did what he did. “I couldn’t tell you why I hesitated back then… but I’m glad I did.” The hint of a smile ghosts across his face. “You’re so beautiful. I couldn’t predict everything else that came afterwards. But I’m certainly not complaining.”

Your face flushes a brilliant shade of crimson when you realize he’s talking about when you fucked in this temple… his temple.

You can’t bear to bring yourself to meet the smug look in his eyes, so you try to compose yourself best you can, but it’s hard when you feel his oceanic eyes boring into your being.

“I… I just have one final question to ask you.” You stammer out, trying to fight down the colour in your cheeks that you know he can see. The burnt deity nods, signaling for you to continue. You suck in a breath, suddenly nervous for some reason.

“What… what exactly does this mark that you’ve given me mean? To you, that is.” You ask, touching the mark on your arm with your other hand, and you swear that you hear Touya- no, Dabi, bite back a moan.

“It marks you as mine. To humans and other gods alike, it means you are mine and under my protection.” He growls, a possessive edge in his raspy voice.

“Is that all?” you probe softly. Dabi bites back a laugh, and fixes you with a warm expression, blue eyes glowing like a cat in the dimly lit temple.

“What do you think?”

He answers your question with another question, but it’s weighted. The mark definitely has another meaning to it, you’re sure of it, but you want to hear it from him.

“I think it means something more… but I want to be sure. I don’t remember the finer details of our conversation, since I was… well… dying.” You shrug, trying and failing to look nonchalant. You don’t particularly want to be reminded of that time.

Dabi must see it in your expression, because he immediately drops the teasing act and takes a hesitant step towards you, slowly, as if he’s trying not to scare you.

He points at your arm and you lift it up so he can see the symbol burned into your skin. “That is my personal mark. It means that you’re not only under my protection… but it also marks you as my consort.”

Your eyes flick up to meet his, and you can tell that he’s not joking. He’s deadly serious.

“Your consort? You mean, like… like a bride?” you breathe, hardly daring to believe it. Dabi cracks a smile.

“So that’s what you humans are calling it these days. Yes, you are. Unlike some of my kin, I don’t take multiple wives. It’s just you.”

It takes a moment for his words to sink in, but when they do, you have to fight yourself to stay upright.

“Oh gods. I’m the bride of a god.” You mutter, swaying slightly in place. “You’re a god. You’re an actual god.”

The burned deity only chuckles. “I can’t believe that you never figured it out. It’s not like I was trying to hide it from you at the end there.”

“I mean… It’s obvious you weren’t human, but I didn’t think you were a God.” You mutter. “You just… you acted so… casual. Not like what I’d expect a God to act-- not that I’m complaining of course!” you add on as you hear Dabi let out an amused snort.

You point up at the statue of Dabi- or rather, him. “Besides, it’s not like I knew what you looked like. You’re always depicted with a hood over your face.” You frowned. “Why is that exactly? You’re not wearing a hood. You’ve never worn one when you’re with me. The only time I ever saw you with one was when you were traveling. Not as you are now. You never let any of your disciples see you?”

“They depict me like that because it’s easier that way.” Dabi explains smoothly. “My face changes depending on what part of my… cycle I’m in. Sometimes I look like how I did when we first met – other times I look like… well, this.” He gestures to himself after a brief pause. It makes your heart ache.

“My kind are supposed to be divine beings. Perfect. I am not. I don’t need to be depicted looking like a walking corpse to the few people who still worship me and visit my temples.”

His gaze flicks back up to you. “You were never supposed to see me like this.”

You know that you shouldn’t psychoanalyze him, but you can’t help but find him endlessly fascinating. He may be a god – a divine, primordial being – but his emotions were so very human.

He may go by many different names, but Dabi was Touya. Your Touya, the man you fell in love with over the years you spent getting to know him. The man who would willingly burn down your village to keep you by his side, only to save it in its time of need, for you.

What he looked like was irrelevant.

“What you look like doesn’t bother me.” You tell him softly, taking a hesitant step closer to him. “It never has. You know that.” Touya’s muscles flinch, like he’s fighting against moving away from you, but he stays rooted to the spot as you slowly advance, until you’re close enough to place a hand on the exposed part of his chest – right above his heart.

“I will love you no matter what form you take, because no matter what: you’re still Touya. You’re still the man I love. God or not, you always will be.”

You lean forward and press your lips to what is left of the flesh around his mouth, and you feel him release a shuddering breath, as his arms come up to wrap themselves tightly around you. You pull away slightly to tuck your head against his chest, returning his embrace, ignoring the burnt smell that always clings to him; and you feel him rest his chin on your head.

You don’t know how long you stay like that for, but eventually Touya reluctantly removes his chin from his spot on your head, and lowers it so he can speak directly into your ear.

“I have to go.”

You try and pull away so you can look him in the eyes, but his arms keep you tightly pressed up against him, like he’s afraid that if he lets you go, you’ll turn to smoke and disappear.

“But… you said that we’re bound to each other now? You promised me that you wouldn’t leave again-“

“I know, but this will be the last time I leave without you, I promise.” He rasps in your ear. “This cycle is at the end. I’m dying.”

You feel your heart clench painfully at his words, and suddenly, you’re taken back to the spring, where he took you to his temple for the first time, and where he unknowingly to you, explained his history. Where he also revealed that gods themselves could die, however difficult it was.

“You’re… you’re dying? How, why? I thought you said it was almost impossible for you to die?”

You feel Touya shake his head and squeeze you again. “It’s different in my case. I die a lot. But the difference is: I come back. It just takes a while.”

“I don’t understand, please Touya, what do you mean?” you feel frantic, and cling to his robes like small child. “I-I can’t lose you!”

“You won’t.” Touya promises you firmly, pulling back to fix you with an unwavering look. “It’s difficult to explain, but I’m more like a force of nature then a ‘traditional’ god. My power is great, but it destroys my body and I ‘die’. However,” his eyes narrow dangerously as he thumbs over the mark on your arm, “I’m a god of the Underworld, and we play by different rules than those that reside upstairs.” He points a finger mockingly up to the roof of the temple.

“I have what you humans call a ‘cycle’. Whenever I ‘die’ I return home, so that I can rest and regenerate my body. Eventually I come back to how I was before I got all of my scaring, and start again. The cycle repeats itself over and over again on an endless loop.” He sends you a crooked grin.

“That’s the other half of my secret: Cremation and Reincarnation tend to go hand in hand. But nobody needs to know that except for you.”

“How many times have you done this?” you breathe, but Touya only shakes his head, shooting you a forced smile.

“More times than I can count. I’m not the oldest God in the pantheon Sweetheart, not by a long shot, but compared to you, I’m ancient.”

“Oh.” You murmur. trying to fight down the blush at the stark differences in your ages, and Touya’s smile becomes more relaxed. You fist your hands at the front of his robe and try your best to return his smile. “So, you’re going to come back… for me?”

“Yes. I’ll eventually return to my original form. But it’s going to take me a while to regenerate.”

“Oh gods, you mean I’m going to be an old woman by the time you come back to get me.” You joke, trying your best to lighten the somber mood, and Touya barks out a laugh.

“No, no. It won’t take that long, I promise… but, that being said, it won’t be anytime soon either. I’m sorry.”

You nod, and try to relax your grip on his robes. You smooth your hands over the soft fabric, and inwardly you hum in delight, as you feel Touya’s abnormally warm hands run down your waist. He brings one hand up to your chin and gently tilts your face up to meet his.

“I will be back for you. Make no mistake about that.”

You feel his other hand glide up to your left forearm, the one that now bares his mark, and press on it possessively. “This binds us together. I’ll make good on my promise, and when I come back for you: I’m going to take you around the world with me, just like I promised you I would. I’ll give you everything.”

You feel your eyes water with his declaration. The sincerity in his eyes tells you that he’s not bluffing. He will be back for you the next time he comes to your humble village, and he will show you the world if you so choose it.

“…How will I know?” You finally manage to ask him quietly.

“How will you know what?”

“How will I know that you’re coming back to get me?”

Touya lets a deep laugh rumble out of his throat, and pushes his face close to your ear so he can whisper directly into it:

“Oh, don’t worry… you’ll just know.”

-----

Three years have passed since that day.

Spring has come again, symbolizing rebirth and renewal, and yet seemingly nothing has changed in your little village. You still work at the apothecary with Chiyo, but now you spend most of your time at Dabi’s temple, keeping it clean, and trying to educate those who visit it, more about the reclusive Cremation God.

More people have started to visit the temple in the three years since you last saw Touya, and you’d like to think that he’d be pleased if he could see it. You’re headed to the temple now to do your daily cleaning, and make sure that everything is orderly, before you head back home for the night.

You smile as you watch a group of small children run past you, as you think back to the day that Touya had left you one final time.

Word had spread like wildfire after you had returned from the temple that day – about how you had made a deal with the elusive Cremation God himself to cure the town of its plague, and how you now bore his mark on your own skin, binding you to him.

You thought that you’d be ostracized, a pariah in your town – but surprisingly, the majority of people seemed to accept it with very little backlash. You suppose that’s the closest to thanks that you’ll get for playing a part in saving your town from destruction, but you’ll take it.

More people do tend to keep their distance from you now, largely in part due to your lover’s fearsome reputation, but you don’t hold it against them.

They’ve started calling you Shaoha – Death Woman. Normally, it’s a derogatory name for a demon or witch, but you know they don’t mean it in that way, and you can’t help but find it fitting given the circumstances and your ties to the Death God himself.

You smile sadly in spite of yourself as you make your way through the forest trail towards Dabi’s temple, leaving the village behind you.

You dress mostly in black or deep blues these days, mourning the fact that you haven’t seen your god in years now. He promised you that he would eventually be back for you once he had healed, before you were old and gray, but you wished that he would have given you a rough estimation of how long that would take, because with each day that passes, you miss him more and more.

Your friends have started families of their own, and while you never had the urge to have children of your own, seeing them happy with their husbands makes you wish that Touya was here with you. Your friends give you sympathetic smiles, and try and comfort you best they can. While you’re grateful that they try, it’s not the same.

It’s strange: you’re surrounded by people who care for you, and yet; you feel more alone now then you ever did before.

You reach Dabi’s temple and push the doors open, finding a few people milling about, paying their respects inside, and the sight pleases you greatly. Ever since it was revealed that he had been behind the disappearance of the plague, the townspeople had started coming to the temple more frequently to pay homage to him. You’re glad that you had cleaned up the temple beforehand, even if it was just for you and him initially.

Several of the people take notice of you, and they quickly file out to allow you to do your daily inspection. After deeming everything to be orderly, you make your way back to your home, just as the sun is starting to disappear behind the tree-line.

You reach your house just as dusk has fallen, and you talk with your parents over dinner for a while before heading to bed. As grateful as you are for their company and their efforts to keep you occupied, the constant ache in your chest never fully dissipates, even when you aren’t alone. 

As you lay in bed, waiting for sleep to take you, you send out a silent goodnight to Touya, hoping that he can hear you, wherever he may be. Just as you have done every night for the last three years.

You hope that wherever he is, he knows how much you miss him.

You don’t remember falling asleep. You open your eyes again and your room is pitch black, letting you know that it’s the dead of night. For a moment, you lay there confused, wondering why you’ve woken up at a seemingly random time, only to realize that you feel different.

You don’t feel physically sick, and the sensation that is coursing through your body like liquid fire in your veins doesn’t feel ominous or wrong, but you suddenly have the intense urge to get up and leave. Like you have to go somewhere urgently.

Your forearm – the one that bears Touya’s mark – feels hot. You trace it absentmindedly, quietly musing that the last time it burned like that was when he gave it to you--

Something clicks in your sleep addled mind, and you slowly sit up and push the covers off of you as you stand. You get dressed in long, dark skirts, and throw a traveling cloak around your shoulders for good measure – knowing deep down that you won’t be coming back.

As you walk through the hallways of your dark home like a ghost, you crack open the door to your parents room to gaze fondly at their sleeping figures. You send them a silent I love you, before closing their door, thanking them for everything. You pad silently through your house until you reach the front door, and pull it open soundlessly, stepping out of it for the final time, before shutting it firmly behind you.

You don’t look back.

You feel like a wraith as you walk through the deserted streets of your town, taking in each and every shop as you pass. The bright, pale moonlight is your only source of light as you walk, and before you know it, you’re standing in front of Dabi’s temple.

The burning in your forearm has lessened considerably and you know this is exactly where you’re supposed to be. You step inside, and slowly make your way to the foot of the hooded god’s statue. You smile slightly and take a seat facing the entrance doors that you didn’t bother closing, allowing moonlight to spill into the dark temple. You sit and you wait. You vow that you’ll wait all night if you have to.

You don’t have to wait for long.

There’s a tell-tale flash of blue outside the temple and a blast of searing heat follows, before everything stills again. The sound of slow, deliberate footsteps approaching the temple makes your heartbeat quicken, and the tall silhouette of a man spills across the floor to where you’re sitting at the altar.

A familiar man dressed in white funeral shrouds enters the temple, and makes his way towards you. You can’t help but smile lovingly as you take him in. Even though he looks incredibly different from the last time you saw him, you’d recognize Touya anywhere.

Gone are the dark scars and staples that wreaked havoc on his skin. The man, the god, that stands before you, has skin as pale as snow, almost blending into the white of his shroud. He looks like he’s bathed in moonlight, with eyes as bright and blue and beautiful as the flames he wields. Upon closer inspection. you still see faint seams in his skin where his burns were previously. A remanent of his past life, and one that you find incredibly endearing.

He is not perfect, but neither are you. You selfishly think that maybe you were made for each other.

He stands before you, seemingly at a loss for words, but his deep turquoise eyes tell you everything you need to know. You, however, have quite a few things you want to say to him. So, you start with the obvious.

“I’ve missed you.” You tell him quietly, and he smiles, cerulean eyes looking sad.

“I know. But I’m here now, so that’s got to count for something right?”

“It means everything.” You confirm breathlessly as he cups your cheek, running his thumb across your soft skin. You shamelessly lean into his touch and watch as he smiles at you.

“Ready to go?”

You nod. “I’ve been ready for a long time. You kept me waiting long enough.”

He laughs, the sound deep and rich in your ears.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you. There are so many things I want to show you.” His free hand sneaks down and intertwines with yours. “I make good on my promises, you know.”

You give his hand a squeeze. “I do.”

His heart – the organ in his chest, that he was sure had stopped working after his fall from grace – thunders into irregularity in his chest. Now he’s sure that it beats for you, and you alone.

You, the first person in a long, long time, who’s made him feel something aside from hatred and scorn. The first person to see past the scars, the first one to see him at his worst and still show him unconditional love where others couldn’t, or wouldn’t.

He loves you, and he always will.

He lifts the hand that’s still laced with his, to his mouth and presses a kiss to the back of your knuckles, sending you a smile that makes you melt.

“Let’s go home.”

FIN

[heqrts4chuuya]

Random post about the Asahina family (PJSK)

I haven't really posted about project sekai here before but I'm going to now.

Anyways this is mostly about Mafuyu's parents and recent events (everything after the event that came with Zamuza) so spoiler alert!!

Also please look at the trigger warnings before reading (in tags)

I've seen a lot of people saying that he's so nice and a wonderful father and basically acting like he didn't at all participate in the situation that led to Mafuyu's deteriorating mental state but if you really think about it, while he might not have played an active role like Mafumom doesn't the fact the he was so absent that he wasn't even aware of the situation make him a part of the problem as well?

I don't think he's an awful person or anything but I do think he's a bad father. Sure he was away because of work but as her father he still had a responsibility to be there for her. And he wasn't he was emotionally negligent and overall very absent.

I do think that it's good he's trying to make a change now and genuinely wants what's best for Mafuyu but I do think that it's important to remember that he is also guilty for letting things get this bad.

Anyways overall I do find the Asahina family very interesting just because of how realistic and well-written they all are.

Mafumom is also very interesting to me. She tells herself that Mafuyu she does is for her and because she loves her and only wants what's best for her and I think she really does believe that as well to an extent. I think that she's convinced herself that everything she does is beneficial to Mafuyu a "I ignored your tears because I knew that you'd thank me one day" type of mindset. She genuinely believes that her way of loving Mafuyu is the "proper" way of loving. Except it isn't cause if a mother's love is supposed to be unconditional her love was conditional. She loved her version of her daughter more than Mafuyu herself, she loved the idea of her daughter as an extension of herself almost but not Mafuyu as her own person. I think that mindset is why it was so easy for her to emotionally manipulate Mafuyu. It also might be why it took her so long to show any form of remorse. Cause now that she's realised that she's not just losing her "perfect daughter" but any chance she had of having a daughter in general, she's starting to show regret. Not guilt, but regret.

Disclaimer I'm not an expert on anything nor do I claim to be one I just had thoughts!

Anyways thx if you read my long nonsensical ramblings <3

Hope this made sense

[ghostsbrokenbyfairytales]

Big man down!

ft, Duck (@containatrocity) and Matt (@wanderinglcst)

(tw for medical condition and injury mentions)

with the earthquake and what felt like non stop patients rolling into the clinic for treatments, HAWK was working as much as he could. he knew the moment the shaking had stopped he needed to be there and making sure matt was fine first he ended up dragging him there with him since he figured extra hands wouldn't hurt to have around. he wasn't taking any moments for himself to breathe before he was moving onto the next person, the thought in the back of his mind the entire time of hoping they had the supplies needed to treat whatever came through the front doors next. hawk was feeling it, the stress getting to him and the tightness he usually felt when he was about to have a fainting episode but he ignored it for now as he went from each bed to check up on people and their injuries. the only pause he did was when he saw matt and flashed him a quick smile as his way of saying 'thanks for helping' before he moved onto the next person.

MATT had been handing out blankets to newly turned up, frazzled people and telling them that they need to head to a triage point as the clinic was being used for the worst of it. The less non emergencies here, the better so he pointed out the diner nearby and sent those that way. He had been lingering near Edgar's bed, making him more comfortable when he glanced over at Hawk, he did not look too good at all. "I'll be back." Matt headed over to Hawk and kind of nudged him to one side. "Babe…. you need to sit down for a bit in the office." He tried to keep his voice low.

HAWK almost hadn't noticed matt at first when he felt the nudge, pausing to look down at matt with a half smile. "i'll be fine it's not that bad right now anyway." a lie that anyone could tell just by the look of him but he was stubborn, leaning down to give matt a quick kiss to the top of the head before trying to head to the next person. there was a bit of a stumble but he managed to correct himself as he turned back to matt. "mind helping me with this next one?"

MATT frowned when Hawk simply said he was fine and that kiss? Nah. He followed him to the next bed, taking hold of his arm when he stumbled. "Baby… you're no use to them at the moment, there's plenty of others to help." He glanced over at another doctor and gestured with his head for them to take over. "Come on." He tugged him slightly.

HAWK hated the feeling of not being useful all the time but he hated more that matt was right and if he didn’t listen he’d just add to the mess of patients. “yeah, yeah alright.” he finally said when he saw the other doctor come over. hawk was feeling it more every second and had to wrap his arm around matt’s shoulder to help him walk to his office and focused on the door. “just five minutes then i need to be back out here, no more than that.”

"We'll sit for as long as you need." MATT stubbornly told him then led him towards the office, helping him every step of the way. It was a good job that Matt had no issues with holding his weight because Hawk was pretty heavy right now. "Nearly there." He used his foot to push the door open then let Hawk go in first. "Right behind you."

HAWK removed his arm from around matt’s shoulder to let himself walk in, well stumble in really at this point, somehow making it to the desk to lean against while he waited for matt to close the door. it wasn’t until he turned around to face the room that his legs finally gave out and fell straight down, somehow using the desk to stop himself from falling completely to the ground. “i’m- jesus fuck.” he mumbled and rubbed at his chest, his back resting against the front of his desk now. it wasn’t long before hawks vision started to blur, causing him to blink quickly a few times trying to adjust but soon all he saw was darkness as his hand felt into his lap.

MATT helped him into the room and was just closing the door when he heard Hawk mumble so quickly went over to him, the door left slightly open still. "Come on, you can do this." He didn't actually manage to stop him from falling and swore when it happened. "Fucking hell." Looking around, Matt then hooked his arms under Hawks shoulders and tried to drag him towards the couch, then he looked up and saw Duck standing there. "Well don't just stand there, mate! Help!"

Everything hurt. Maybe he'd overdone it, maybe he was still overdoing it, wandering the clinic and checking on the rangers, on Claire, on his brothers propped up on a poorly fitted crutch- a brace locked on his left leg. DUCK hurts, and even the usual dose of tincture, downed desperately in his hospital bed the moment Hawk and the nurses had left him alone wasn't touching the dull roar in his knee. It made sense though, didn't it? He'd ruined it this time, overexerted already damaged and failing hardware to their limit- he was lucky he could stand at all, and he was using that luck to pace, the thunk of his boots and the crutch coming up the hallway- just in time to pass hushed voices he recognized. "What th-" He's cut off, when Matt calls out, brows arching all the higher as he gathers what's happening through the haze of painkillers keeping him upright- this time for good reason. "I'm not exactly much help Matt." He reminds, but props his crutch up against the door, shifting to bend his knees- teeth gritting through the pain as he hoists Hawk's lower half- and with a little swearing and coordination- getting his brother on the couch. "Do either of you wanna explain what the fuck just happened? One second I'm watchin' him race around like his dick's on fire- the next he's…" He motions at Hawk, prone. His bandages are hardly covered, white button-up partially open and usual dark jeans marred by the presence of a heavy black steel brace. He staggers himself- but retrieves his crutch and remains upright.

HAWK was only out for a minute or two, pretty much by the time his back would hit the couch he was already groaning and shielding his eyes from any light that was coming in with his arm. he was coherent enough to catch the tale end of ducks words which only made him realize he’d been caught, there was no lying his way out of this one. “i thought you closed the door babe.” hawk mumbled though he wasn’t upset, he’d genuinely thought he heard the door close before he made any attempt to move. “duck i can explain,” he sighed and groaned as he slowly sat himself up, “just.. gimmie a minute first.”

There was a wave of relief when Hawk started to come around but MATT quickly went to grab the chair from behind the desk and placed it behind Duck, helping him down onto it before hurrying back to Hawk, crouching down next to him. "I thought I did." Matt brushed his hand through his hair then glanced back at Duck with a grateful smile for helping then helped Hawk by propping him up against the arm rest.

DUCK doesn't look particularly convinced. Or impressed- or terribly happy at all. "Well, I know this ain't related to the fresh hell goin' on outside." He reasons. "Which means somethin's been eatin' at you for a while, and I am, once again, prolly among the very last to hear about it." His nose scrunches. "No bullshittin me, either of you. I got people dyin' out there in the clinic, people who's lives ain't never gonna be the same. I want t' know what this is without bells 'er whistles. soon as you can manage it."

HAWK finally looked up and over at matt, giving him a soft smile as he squeezed his thigh and rested his head back against the wall behind him. turning his attention towards duck he frowned at the look on his face and the implication he’d be the last person he’d tell this to. “you’re not one of the last people to hear about this, you’re one of the only actually.” hawk finally spoke and was being truthful just like duck asked. “matt and bowie are the only people who know and it’s only cause they found out the same way you just did.” he sighed and ran his free hand through his hair this time. “wasn’ somethin’ i’ve been wantin’ to share honestly.”

MATT put his hand on top of Hawks and gave it a squeeze in return while he made sure he was comfortable as he spoke to his brother. "I've been begging him for months to tell you guys." Matt followed on then he got up and sat next to Hawk on the couch, staying as close as he could.

"Hawk, you're a fuckin' idiot, you know that, right?" DUCK sighs. "We're yer fucking family- you didn't wanna tell us you were what- sick? dyin? what's goin' on with you?" He's not angry- Matt likely can't tell the difference, Duck gruff and harsh even in regular conversation. "I got blown up and I at least fessed up t' it t' the few a' you the doctors could track down. You been keepin' somethin from us in the same damn town?"

“yeah well i didn’ want to.” HAWK mumbled. the questions from duck were expected after witnessing something like that, shaking his head at the things listed off. “i didn’ fess up to anyone cause i thought it was fixed. it had been for years up until i came back here, i didn’ even know i was havin’ faintin’ spells again until i woke up to bowie hangin’ over me.” again being as honest as he could with duck since that much was owed to him. “i got a heart condition duck. i hadn’ been takin’ care of myself for a long time and basically lost all the progress i had. hell matts the one who convinced me to finally stop smokin’ after i’d almost smoke myself outta a pack every two days.”

MATT held onto Hawks hand when he told Duck what was going on with him. It was never any easier to hear it. He looked between the two of them and sighed a little. "This is the first time it's happened in in a while. Not that I'm surprised, you're doing too much."

"You knew you had it and you were smokin' like a freighter? Yeah, Sounds like the typical romero problem solvin." DUCK sighs, pushes a hand through his hair. "You should have told me, Hawk." He insists. "You don't gotta suffer in silence or whatever-" He pauses. "You knew 'fore either of us were back in Huntsville, We'd talked, Hawk. You shoulda told me then." Maybe Duck wouldn't have smacked him with a rifle that day. He thinks about it, though, and realizes yes, he probably still would have.

HAWK looked at matt when he said that and sighed. “i know i just.. i can’ help it. this has been the worst thing to happen yet.” he squeezed matt’s hand avoiding looking at duck even if it’s just for a few extra seconds. “i’ve known since i was in my twenties actually..” hawk admitted as he finally turned back to duck. “i didn’ want the family to know or be worried about me. you all had your own shit you were goin’ through i didn’ wanna add my own shit on top of it.” he wanted to reach out when he had the surgery, it was a long recovery process that he chose to go through alone so he wouldn’t feel like a bother to anyone. “it’s triggered by stress, mostly lots of stress put on all at once hence why i had an episode today.”

MATT nodded a little and leaned in to kiss his cheek just before he finally looked at Duck and sat back, listening to them and keeping hold of his hand. "That's why I've been hanging around him the entire time, keeping an eye on him. I've only left to fetch some bits and pieces he's needed."

"So since just after ya left. When we were talkin' more. Hawk…" He sighs, brows creasing. "you make it real hard t' be your favorite brother, ya know that?" DUCK groans. "Wrenny's right, this self-sacrificial sufferin' in silence shit really is annoying." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Our own shit was like, an unfaithful wife, or not bein' home at all, or bein' a literal child- we would have supported you, dumbass." He closes his eyes a moment. "I was in recovery for three years after the IED. And most everybody I called just didn't answer. Do you know what I woulda done, Hawk? for even a single shoulder t' lean into? And you chose that." He shakes his head. "you're a shithead." Declared flatly. "I love you, you're the stupidest motherfucker I ever met and that's impressive 'cause I was a jarhead and yer a learned doctor." He turns to Matt. "Thank you at the very least fer havin' at least one damn braincell t' spark off the other and keep him from killin' himself to prove a point."

“i still didn’ have a great relationship with the family at the time so it’s not like any of y’all woulda showed up anyway. you were already stationed somewhere and the one i was closest too i wasn’ gonna make you come all the way back for me.” HAWK rolls his eyes at the stupid comment, moving to stand up off the couch slowly. “speakin’ of provin’ a point, can i get back to word oh do i need permission from my brother and fiancé first?” he had a bit of an attitude, he was aware. it wasn’t on purpose he was just trying not to hit the point of exhaustion and the longer he sat there the closer he felt like he would hit that point since he wasn’t working on anything. “also duck, im trustin’ you not to tell anyone else, ‘specially not anyone else in the family.”

MATT just looked between them, not sure how to de-escalate if things took a turn so he just let Hawks hand go when he started to get up, nearly protesting for him to sit back down but the attitude just made him shrug. "Don't need permission from either of us." Matt just sat back on the sofa. "But try take another rest at some point." With that, he got up and headed over to the door. "I'll help you back to bed." He told Duck and offered his arm for extra support.

"Maybe you do." DUCK grunts, but he rolls his eyes. "But who cares, right? You know best, for you, for everybody else." He picks up his crutch, struggling back onto his feet with grit teeth. "I know it's your job, Hawk, but you're no use to anybody dead. And nobody out there is gonna die if you sit down a minute." It sure sounds like arguing, escalation- Duck's just talking, truly. His expression is more gentle as Matt offers to help. "Ah, I got it, I have th' crutch, just, get the door for me and help me swing m' leg back up into the bed once I get there." He insists. "Still tugs at the stitches t' do it myself."

HAWK already felt bad about the attitude, towards matt, not towards duck, duck was used to hawk being a dick to him but he’d apologize to matt for it later. he was only trying to help and he knew that realistically. “yeah… yeah i know just, i’ll come check up on ya later make sure you’re doin’ alright and matt, mind comin’ back here in ten? i’ll take an actual break instead of well, a forced one.”

"Okay." MATT held the door open for him and waited till he went through it to look back at Hawk and nodded. "Of course I will." With a slight smile, he then followed Duck out.

"Alright." DUCK sighs, shifting his weight against the crutch to avoid pulling at the stitches running his chest. It's slow going, making it out of the door, his knee's in rough shape, the rest of him is tired, bruised. He still finds it in him to shoot a glare over his shoulder. "If you don't sit the fuck down in ten minutes I'm gonna start doin' jumpin' jacks in the middle a' the clinic. Really fuck up yer hard work." He threatens- and then he nods, passing Matt. "I don't know who'll help me outta bed, but I'll do it."

[theeccentricmrwinter]

hey folks, none of you must be wondering why I haven't really been reblogging the latest big international conflict!

well, theoretical asker, I've got a few words about that!

I've had enough of the constant bad news! The constant global decline of living conditions for the downtrodden, be it by first world problems like food getting ever more expensive hatecrimes and wars, or third world problems like the hatecrimes and wars, is really starting to make me want to actually kill myself!

There is barely enough good news to go around, and to see it I have to scroll through things like "Downtrodden people being genocided by a government", "help I can't afford rent/food/medical care/etc", and "world superpowers actively hate your existence and are getting away with erasing you slowly but surely"!

While I can't control whether I see this kind of content or not, I can at least control if you, theoretical asker and follower of me and only me, see it by not reblogging or liking those kinds of posts! If they make me want to kill myself, I can't imagine what someone with depression and anxiety worse than mine would feel after all!

So no, it's not heartlessness. It's just that I would rather not inflict this upon my followers any more than it's already being inflicted upon em. Also I really don't wanna kill myself, so avoiding being reminded of the things via reblogs and comments is nice too.

[mapofthewrld]

guess who just finished season 1 of vita carnis