#let me actually tag hang on
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cg! zoe baker moodboard !!
#inspired by harper hiiii harper#put all my hcs in a wheel spinner to practice 3x3 moodboards and cg zoe was the first spin its a sign oh em gee.....#ā” my posts ā”#ā” picture boards ā”#<- idk what to make the tag i might change it later#let me actually tag hang on#ā” resident evil ā”#resident evil agere#re7 agere#fandom agere
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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oh im obsessed with this actuallyā¦ who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tightā¦ inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#āann werent you just pairing olivia with tharāā OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigoās way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his motherās grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble heāll insist upon bringingā#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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1 for the ask game. Whumper
Thank you for the ask :33
1) How did you acquire your whumpee? How hard it was? (from this ask game)
Ryan snorts. āI wasnāt the one who acquired him. I wouldāve picked someone moreā¦ā His eyes unfocus for a moment before glancing back at you. āWell, never mind that. It was Mom who brought him home. According to her, there was some big riot or somethingā¦ she said she had to teach everyone a lesson and take a captive. Honestly, she probably didnāt need to, but her decisions as queen were- well.ā He swallows. āNot my place to criticize. Anyway, she convinced the crowds that he was dead and justā¦ brought Onyx home. Left him in my room as if we werenāt in an entire castle of empty rooms.ā
#sorry idk if i'm supposed to tag people :( if you're on the taglist and you see this please tell me when i'm supposed to tag you#rainbow's ocs#rainbow's whump#rainbow's asks#the winged servant#ryan tag#people have definitely reblogged my writing with theories in the tags about how onyx got here#but no one has ever actually asked about it#SEE WHAT NICE THINGS YOU GET WHEN YOU GO TO MY INBOX#YOU SHOULD HANG OUT HERE MORE OFTEN#also yeah you probably did only send this ask cuz i said i was holding the next chapter hostage#i wanted to let you know that i lied and i was gonna post it tomorrow regardless of my inbox status#HOWEVER thank you so so much <333
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So like... do you think Kim Kitsuragi is a clingy motherfucker if he's really, truly comfortable with someone?
I mean like, obviously he isn't. His entire personality is centered around not letting anyone ever see the truly damaged parts of his soul. He's hiding some of the shit from himself as much as from anyone else. No matter how close to someone he gets he's never gonna be comfortable reaching that deep into his mind and memories and pulling this kind of stuff up for everyone ("everyone") to see. But there's just something so tempting about seeing him drop all his walls, not being on his guard at all, pulling his partner into a quick hug every time he walks past, stealing his clothes from the hamper because that's when they smell the most like him, buying all the dumb shit that reminds him of his partner and not ever stopping to think if it was silly, tightly wrapping himself around him when falling asleep, all the tiny little shit all the time (but only in the privacy of their home and his mind), because for once he feels safe enough to just be whoever he is. Not even whoever he wants to be, just... Whoever he is, flaws and fucked up past and broken dreams and all.
Obviously he isn't, but what if he was?
#Disco Elysium#Kim kitsuragi#Herr's personal tag#I just like the idea of him and a dear bf hanging out on a sofa#Watching an absolutely terrible car chase movie they've seen nine times already#And the bf getting up to go pee or bring some snacks or whatever#And Kim just#Grabbing his leg and refusing to fucking let go#Because no#Man I've spent my entire life waiting for this#For the opportunity to actually feel like this#Truly loved and accepted for who I am#No buts no ifs#And I'll be fucking damned if you're getting up now#I'm getting all the goddamn love and affection and physical contact I can get#Ah kimothy my beloved#He'll be the death of me
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my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house
hey, whats up w/that?
#whenever we āhang outā he likes 2 make the topic as depressing as possible by always talking abiut the past#& it is the most annoying shit ever i will not lie BC I DONT WANT 2 TALK ABOUT DEATH & THE ABUSE EVERY TIME I SPEAK 2 U#yk? thag makes sense in my head#anyways he started talking abiut how terrified he was when i had ran away multiple times a couple yrs ago & when i say a couple i mean#i have no idea how long ago bc memory is a bitch#but it had 2 b like middle school - sophmore?#multiple times & like i just wanna shake him bc LITERLLY WHAT & WHO DO U THINK I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM#GODDAMNN I H8 BING THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN EXPRESS EMOTIONS & NOT LET THEM EFFECT HOW I VIEW THE OTHER#āoh u ran in the park u ran in the parkā i didnt run in the fuckinggppaaarrkrkkkk AAAAAAAAAA I MET A NICE LADY WHO HAD A GOAT IN THE#SPARTMENTS I FRIECIENTED OFTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER#i cant express how safe the goddamn goat lady & her kid made me feel vs my parents who started hunting 4 me#like ive been dragged home so many times im not going through that shit again#i miss the goat the mom & the kid we were just chilling @ like midnight 4 a bit#did this turn in2 a vent? idk#i do this a lot ill prolly delete this soonish when im kore calm#bc rn i want 2 chuck bricks in my laundry machine & watch them fly out & hit whatever#im going back 2 watching anime if i have 2 talk 2 1 other person i will actually explode#like irl person not online the silly gay ppl in my phone r super cool & amazing & i love them#im srry 4 bing a dick btw#i cant explain it i mean i could but i cant im just my brain is telling me eveyr1 h8s me & MAN i h8 it when it does#so im just frightened & by golly & am i havign a cheery time yipyipyip#typing in tags is sm easier than in a post bc i dont think most ppl read tags lol#the more i think about my past the more i wonder wtf am i doing here#bc how did i even get out of the house in the 1st place & then ontop of that was able 2 hide#like whatā¦ā¦#bc they were fucking grabbing me n shit & they have CARS like i didnt go in the park i walked the sidewalks HOW DID I MOT GET CAUGHT??#MULTIPLE TIMES??? LIKE I āran awayā MULTIPLE TIMES#i didnt exactly run away tho bc i didnt want them 2 file police shit i didnt eant 2 deal w/that & also hirt the pll i stayed over w/#so i always went back. obviously blehhh#ug hj hhhh my heads hurting again this is like the 4th day in a row :((
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One little thing, I'm probably not going to upload the rest of the flower giving series with the brothers in any particular order (because I already have Beel's and Satan's nearly done and they're both longer than Lucifer's).
That said, I went a little more bittersweet with Satan (Maybe I'm mean, but he's so cute that I wanna make him cry), and Beel's is a little thirsty. I think I'll post the next one up on Saturday evening
#moss update#moss lover speaks#to be fair I was in a mood while writing Beel's and I was probably listening to something kinda dirty. Oops?#why do I let myself talk so much in the tags? Y'all don't need this information#I'm basically just giving you fodder for you to hop in my inbox and say shit (either positive or negative)#but don't actually be mean to me because I'm soft or whatever#I'll probably schedule the post to go up while I'm hanging out with a friend
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daily post-it doodles š
#the birthday party one got taken by a student lol#she was also the one who asked me to add a kitten on top of the cake#daily doodles#work tag i guess#anyway i actually have no idea what to do with my post it doodles when i'm done with them my desk is just covered in them#i've started letting the kids have them but they crumple them up and rip them š„²#and yet. it is a post it note sketch so i cant really complain like i cant save these and hang them on a wall or sell them#they're just to brighten up my workspace and make me happy lol#and also for practice#anyway i felt like some aesthetic or studyblr people might appreciate my desk covered in doodles and i can preserve them forever thru pics#lmao#anyway springtime doodles save me#despite appearances i have been very productive today with stuff for my classes and at work actually#lizzie.draws.art#i wish i was a famous artist so my post-it doodles WERE worthy of preservation tbh if i were a famous artist i would sell my post its online
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Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl š#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
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original thief series basso & garrett :)
ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels
there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.
anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.
ā places Iām at! bskyĀ / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost /Ā cara.app
#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories#are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox#anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun#to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people#the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying#it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell?#but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks#and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower#because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism#(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here#in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top#of those themes instead of through it)#ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting#SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT#unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable#thief the dark project#i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP#sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know#garrett thief#basso thief
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#ohhhhhh my fucking god. omg. omg#i really need to learn to trust my own instincts about people#there's this dude - let's call him biff - who lives in my city#he's always been very consistent about staying in touch with me over the years even though we don't really have any shared interests#i met him when he was dating this girl i was friends with. then they broke up & he wanted to hang out with me#then he started dating someone else & they got married and had a kid#and after a while he stopped messaging me (fine by me)... UNTIL#i posted on fb the other day that i was starting the process of quitting everything Meta#and that people should comment if they wanted my contact info elsewhere#after making this post i thought 'hmmm maybe i should have restricted the audience to the only people i actually WANT to stay in touch with'#but it was too late. biff had already messaged me and asked for my number#stupidly i gave it to him. he (a german) joked 'still no german number i see?'#(it is clearly a german number. also i live in fckn germany. and have done so for 7 years. how the hell would i not have a german number?)#then he realized that & added me on whatsapp (kinda silly bc i explicitly said i'm going to quit the whole metaverse eventually but oh well)#first message: 'how u doing?' this man is in his 40s and has still never learned to type properly#second message: he said that he (singular) had recently moved to a new apartment and was not doing great#which makes me think that maybe he's gotten divorced and that's why he's suddenly so eager to reach out to me again#and he added apropos nothing 'but the good thing is that now i'll finally get to see the harry potter movies!'#ummm... great? fuck that transphobe but have fun i guess? what a weird thing to mention#third message was - just fucking WAIT FOR IT - 'what do u think about what's going on in the US recently? are you planning on going back?'#if y'all know me by now you know that this kind of question drives me bonkers#so i replied 'no i'm never going back. i live in germany. kinda sick of people asking me that. I LIVE HERE'#and i just... godddd my intuition is so depressingly good sometimes.#the moment his name popped up in my messages i had this sinking feeling of 'why did i give him my contact info'#and then what do you know... in his next two messages alone there were at least three minor red flags#NOTE TO SELF: TRUST YOUR FUCKING INSTINCT#why haven't i learned this yet? i do not need a 'valid reason' to softly let someone slip out of my life#cosmo gyres#personal#tag rant
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i just had a thought so
basically
i'm listening to bnha ost albums and getting emotional over them and thinking abt how much i fuckin love yuki hayashi's soundtracks and how they're why i can never really hate the anime at all even when i see people complain abt things with how it was adaptedāand yeah i'll acknowledge when things are cut and be annoyed too but. to say i hate the anime over it?? no i couldn't
and anyway it made me think of how i used to listen to the sao and naruto osts on youtube and sometimes i'd read the comments and it was usually a bunch of dudebros in their late teens-early 30s roughly (iirc lol) talking abt how the soundtracks were so good and how they brought up nostalgia from when they were 7, 9, 12, 13, etc etc. and i just thought. like damn
so many people on my side of fandom spaces may hate on dudebros in their fandoms but like. many of them are just here enjoying the story yk??? and like. we're such different people and yet we love the same story and (in my case example specifically) all appreciating the music from that same show and reminiscing the same moments and well. maybe we're not so different after all yk and isn't that beautiful???
me personally it makes me want to cry a little
bc we're such different people but at the end of the day we're also two people whose hearts were both touched by the same story, two people who love the same storyāand through that, in that wayāeven though we're so different at a face levelācan't we still understand each other??? can't we still find a way to reach each others hearts???
#augh#orv-coded thoughts lol#orv permeates everything for me so. well. yeah#bnha#naruto#sao#sword art online#rq rambles#bnha ost#yuki hayashi#anime#anime ost#orv-esque#fandom#on fandom#if u embrace ur fandom dudebros some of them will embrace u back <3#one of my middle school friends who i'd still consider a friend even if we're not as close is your basic straight guy anime watcher#and he's rly chill and fun and cool to hang out with#grahhhh ik people are referring to a certain category of dudebros when they talk abt ādudebrosā in fandom#and i've used the term in that way sometimes too#but damn. we're really all just people#and if we're hostile to them how will they engage with fandom outside of spaces with other dudebros??#like. idk we push them into these spaces together where they're just gonna learn all the bs the shitty kind of dudebros (Dudebrosā¢ļø) do/say#ngl i think this especially bad in the bnha fandom#bc some guy will draw some cute izuocha art of them hugging or smth and then he gets attacked and called homophobic which is just. ?????#raghhhhh that kind of shit actually makes me so mad lol#bc wow y'all wtaf let people ship who they want to ship???#anyway i feel this edging towards rant territory and these tags are already way too long so ima cut myself off here lol
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Howās life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3
Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.
#my father is upset today too cause I couldn't hang out with him#I talked to a social worker at school a few days ago just for check in and in my opinion I still feel bad even talking to her#it's been a rough week and I'm not sure what to do except deal with it and move on#I like to draw still#I dont want to get tired of it#I mean at least I'm doing productive things like laundry and showering#I'm gonna have spaghetti today that's a good thing#I'll have clean sheets for my bed that's good too#I got presents a day earlier and that's good#I like listing the positives#It kinda gives me ideas for writing#I really wanna eat all these positive things i mean the feeling it gives me in itself#I really love the good things I don't ever want to lose them#I'm actually gonna try to make a doll bunny today#I got dug up old fabrics in my room so I can experiment with something new#I'd list more good things but I'd sound kinda weird doing that in the tags#I should probably journal again but my mind blanks when I try but I'll figure it out#I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet#I gotta practice that more often#There still a ways to go in life so obviously it'll change eventually it always does#And it's only one of many weeks so I can't be too doubtful#It can't always be the worst#Feeling the same feels awful#No matter the emotion it kinda turns numb if you feel it long enough#Days are always changing though since everybody is doing different things everyday all the time#Like most say 'it gets better' eventually#I guess I can wait for a good day#I have no choice sooo I'll let whatever happen#Well technically I can make it happen#I'll feel better when I made myself dinner and cleaned my bed and put away my laundry and put on fuzzy socks and go to sleep
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okay so a few people showed interest in a post going further into this topic so here goes.
Hallucination: "A perception-like experience with the clarity and impact of a true perception but without the external stimulation of the relevant sensory organ." This means perceiving something to be there, real in the physical world, when there isn't actually anything in reality causing causing the perception.
these can be:
auditory (hearing things)
visual (seeing things)
olfactory (smelling things)
gustatory (tasting things)
tactile (feeling things on or under skin)
somatic (feeling things further within the body)
Illusion: "A misperception or misinterpretation of a real external stimulus." This means that there is in the real physical world, something causing the perception, but the brain is sending signals that whatever is being perceived is something else. Examples would be seeing an inanimate object as being an animal, hearing wind blowing as human voices, etc.
Both of these are things that many people will experience at least once in their lives, for various reasons. However, if it is causing impairment to functioning/making it harder to go about your life, then it is considered to be a symptom.
sources here are the DSM-V, as well as like, personal experience lol.
#uhhh i should come up with some tags for this post#actuallypsychotic#spoonie#mental health awareness#actually mentally ill#actually disabled#schizoposting#this post is for everyone btw. im just trying to tag some places where ppl i think might be interested would hang out lol#but anyone can reblog feel free to reblog#also feel free to dm me personally for a pdf copy of the dsm-v. who care#and if anyone has any questions let me know im happy to elaborate#i hope i didnt over explain too much. im trying to make this post more accessible#but i actually have no clue how many of these terms other people know and dont know#anyways. enjoy#dinosting
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google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
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Iāve drawn a decent amount of isat au eternal gales but yknow what I havenāt drawn? Eternal gales au isat. Donāt look at me.
#keese draws#eternal gales#isat siffrin#thatās all Iām tagging Iām being a coward sorry#anyways! I mostly made this cause I thought itād be funny but it was fun thinking abt how this hypothetical au would look#mostly because it gives me an excuse to think abt different stalien societies#also the basic plot of this au would be way closer to isat than eg just due to the nature of eg#I donāt even have enough characters to fill out just one half of the eg cast let alone both#but I donāt mind since it means I can say fuck it and give myself more creative freedom#plus I canāt just not put this fucker into another timeloop I canāt let them rest easy or Iāll die#itās mostly just a setting and worldbuilding change so I can think abt my worldbuilding more <3#now alas au will have to make up smth completely new for sif in terms of his original herd but thatās fine#Iāve been wanting to fuck around with island herds anyways#the other four get to hang out in the ones Iāve already made#mira and isa are part of the desert herd that rotate between the surface and underground seasonally#odile is a part of the herd well known for having the longest migration cycle#and bonnie Iāll probably also stick in desert land but I might also have them be the token marsh herd rep#aka the society the main stalien cast from normal eternal gales are from#which would mean extremely bad things for bonnie and nille but Iād be mostly nicies to them#well. compared to the actual cast. which is a low bar.#now all of these herd names arenāt official and are bad descriptions but shhh#the desert one isnāt even a desert it has two dry seasons and two wet seasons with one of the dry seasons being cold as hell#oh the real hell has been deciding energy types for all of them#sif is red mostly because I wanted to fuck around with the logistics a bit#red energy will mimic other energy types it comes into contact with#the things on his fingers are basically a catalyst for that and they use them to create their weapons#they specifically mimic yellow energy for this purpose as it can temporarily create somewhat solid constructs#usually in yellow energy staliens this is used to create mandibles and wings#anyways ignore my insistence on associating isat with my ocs allow me to be cringe
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