#lavender has adhd

[lavender-actualy-posts-shit]

Giggling like a little girl because if we agree that Patton gets to be a small frog like Jan gets to be a snake, and Pat is canonically a large frog beast, then Jan would get to be a beast too, right?

I. Want. Hydra. Janus.

[recallback-art]

Day 16: Food! This also counts as a meme, but I thought of it and couldn't just not draw it. Quite possibly one of the best images for communicating what Raffail's personality is like.

[sapphirecobalt-1]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46804651/chapters/117889981

Title: I’ve said too much, I haven’t said enough

Chapters: 1/?

Word count: ~7,222

Fandom: Stranger Things

Ships: Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley, Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington

Tags:  adhd Eddie, autistic Robin, adhd Robin, deaf Steve, queer platonic steve & Robin, lavender married Steve & Robin, disabled Steve Harrington, disabled Max Mayfield, disabled Chrissy Cunningham, character study, AU - Canon Divergent, AU - Summer Camp, oh my god they were camp counselors, angst, angst with a happy ending, not beta read we die like Billy, tags will be updated as the story progresses

Summary:

It's 1987, and Vecna's been six feet under for over a year.

But even as our heroes try to move on, the havoc Vecna wreaked still haunts them.

Some things just refuse to be buried.

[froody]

I think a sitcom about the interconnecting lives of the gay and trans population in a rural area in the south would be so fun. Everybody dated each other or is related or are sworn enemies. I’d make the main characters a lesbian teen mom and her trans man husband who were high school sweethearts before he realized he was trans and she realized she didn’t like men, they’re now stuck in a platonic lavender marriage raising her son and renting a very shitty trailer from a very whacky landlord. She’s a home health aide, he has severe ADHD and a different even weirder job every episode. They’re both in love with the same person, a beautiful shy trans woman who just inherited a house in the area and moved from a big city. They’re friends with the rest of the LGBTQ population in the tricounty area and they’re always trying to show their love interest points of interest and trying to introduce her to new people and it keeps going terribly wrong.

[sillygreenrat]

Introducing The Smiling Critters!!! This isn't entirely an AU persay but i like to call these guys the 'Better Bigger Bodies'. Toys that are ACTUALLY SENTIENT without the need for child testing and experimentation! Hurray!!! Might draw more of the B3's eventually but for now u get the sillies bc i LOVE them...

more spammy headcanon info under the cut!

DogDay: -he/they (demiboy) -ageless (mentally 21) -cocker spaniel -leader of the group by default due to outgoing personality -people pleaser at heart, loves going along with the group once the ball is rolling -can tend to get lost in his own thoughts, bottles thiings up for the betterment of others Catnap: -he/they/it (nonbinary) -ageless (mentally 23) -russian blue -second in command by default (hates it) -always tired but is also an insomniac, lavender gas has stopped being effective for them -very bad add that doesn't mix well with the insomnia

Hoppy Hopscotch: -she/her (cis) -ageless (mentally 19) -white tailed jackrabbit/hare -motivational backbone of the group -sets high expectations for herself that she does her best to acompish -she hates it when shes told she can't do something

Kickin' Chicken: -he/him (trans ftm) -ageless (mentally 18) -leghorn chicken -youngest of the group (and shows it) -usually the one to innitiate games. loves having fun, very adhd -has really bad abandonment issues, covers it up with entertainment

Bubba Bubbaphant: -he/him (cis) -ageless (mentally 26) -bornean elephant -oldest of the group (and shows it...) -talks a bit too much, but is only try to help and usually only has the best intentions, just a bad way of showing it -remembers too much about things that probably shouldn't matter anymore

Bobby Bearhug: -she/her (trans mtf) -ageless (mentally 21) -black bear -the all forever mighty mom friend -always there to be a shoulder to cry on. she'll be your #1 listener and reassure you as much as you need -she doesn't quite know her own strength sometimes

Craftycorn: -they/them (nonbinary) -ageless (mentally 19) -unicorn -shy, introverted friend who draws on napkins at dinner -loves to express themself through art, whether that be drawing or writing, maybe singing -horrible at reading people, constantly worried for friendships but doesn't outwardly say it

Picky Piggy: -she/they (demigirl) -ageless (mentally 20) -red wattle hog -always inviting people over, loves planning get togethers -loves to cook and bake, always making something that she gets her friends to try -has horrific intrusive thoughts they kind of just spout out sometimes

[hollowed-theory-hall]

do you think that some of Harry's actions could be more than simply abuse? like i often take note of his small social groups/dislike of social situations, inability to regulate/understand emotion, lack of filter, hyperfixation on things, etc. and interpret him as an autistic character. i think there's also mirrors between magic itself and neurodivergence (just in the same way magic is often a metaphor for queerness within media), as something that someone is born with and has to hide from the wider world, historically regarded as "freakish", and the statistics that show that neurodivergent kids are more likely to be abused.

it could just be me projecting (as im autistic myself), but i'm curious if you've got any thoughts on this?

Honestly, I personally headcanon Harry as ADHD (because I have ADHD and am familiar with it), so I really get it.

How he interacts with people, his being so smart, but very unfocused in classes, his tendency to fail himself by overthinking things (when it comes to spell casting), and his issues with emotional regulation and occasionally understanding others (He's very compassionate, but he isn't the best at actually knowing to how to approach people. Like, not understanding why Cho was crying after Cedric died or just throwing Ron's blanket over Hermione in Deathly Hallows after Ron left because he didn’t know how to comfort her. Or in OotP when he saw Lavender and Praviti giggling about him, and he was sure it was about what the Prophet wrote and not that he got hot over the summer. He can be super awkward like that) can all be very easily read as Harry having some kind of neurodivergence.

I think that's a super valid reading of his character regardless of the type of neurodivergent you think he is. I mean, it's the 90s and the Wizarding World, so it's not like he'd ever get a diagnosis. Neither he nor anyone else is going to consider it, I mean, as bad as the muggle world at the time is about neurodivergence, the Wizarding World is probably worse.

Now, I'm not sure about magic in the Wizarding World being easily read as an allegory to autism (or anything similar). Like, you can read it however you want, but I don't personally see this treatment of magic as a whole.

I actually think the 'Harry is neurodivergent headcanon' extends to how he interacts with magic in an intuitive way that goes against how the textbooks teach but is easier for him. Like, I truly believe that one of the reasons he doesn't bother studying much is because how magic is thought about by most people is not how Harry understands it, and if someone only bothered to explain things to him in his own terms instead of the textbook terms he'd be the second coming of Merlin.

But Harry himself being neurodivergent is something I am 100% behind.

[highlynerdy]

"Aithusa has seen her father's mate in his memories and smelled him on her father's skin when he comes to visit, but this is the first time she gets to meet him for herself."

Nepenthe and Lavender by @0hheytherebigbadwolf

My latest fanARTifact is an entirely handlettered, handbound, and illustrated book of this beautifully fluffy fic (and it has actually been in various states of progress since March 1, 2021.) More below the cut!

So as I said above, I actually started planning this fic over two years ago. Which, yeah, I don't really want to talk about because adhd is a hell of a thing. I love love love this fic (and this entire series) and I was inspired by The Black Hours and other gorgeous manuscripts with metallic on black paper.

I ordered some black paper from Canson for the text block, used Arabic gold finetec paint mixed with water and gum arabic as my ink (I used three pans of the gold paint...), and a Nikko G nib with a straight pen holder for the calligraphy. I really wanted to use one of my broad tip nibs, but I just couldn't my Uncial letters small enough with it. I used Uncial since that was technically the alphabet/font they used in the Arthurian time period.

The paper was cut down and folded into signatures of three and then I drew out light pencil lines for the text and for the margins. Every single letter was done sooooo slooowwllly because if I messed up on one page there was no way to erase it, which meant I would have to do basically four pages worth of lettering again since they were all connected.

And I did mess up.

More than once.

I think the most heartbreaking mistake was at the very end when I was trying to erase my pencil lines and I just ripped a page completely in half. The tears were real, folks.

Once I finished lettering - which took hours and hours and hours over many weeks - it was time to assemble the text block and sew it. I used gold silk thread I had leftover from Arthur's scarf (which is also used as the backdrop for the photo shoot) to sew the block together and I love how it gives just another little peek of gold to the book.

I painted the end papers in a vaguely floral pattern with the same gold and also some silver finetec paint, glued them all together and put them in my book press and then promptly didn't work on it again from October 2022 to July 2023. Sigh.

But once I committed to getting it done, I asked @swanfloatieknight to help be my accountabilibuddy and make sure I finished it this week. I tested out so many different cover designs, from fabric and thread, to paper, to finally settling on this all over design done by my cricut. Historically accurate?? Nah. I'm about as historically accurate as BBC Merlin.

I tried my hand at gold foiling and that was a disaster so I just used a gold silk ribbon to give the color a little bit more color. Once it was bound, I painted in a triskelion and Aithusa on a double page spread I left intentionally blank.

And it was finally done!

All in all, I'm pleased with how it turned out. Was it an exercise in patience? Yes. Did I learn a lot? Also yes. Mostly that handlettering an entire fic is madness and also this is far too small to case bind, but I'm a stubborn ass and it was happening regardless.

All total, I probably worked on this for about 50+ hours. It was most definitely a labor of love and I'm so happy that it's finally done.

Thank you for inspiring me to take on such a project by writing such wonderful fics, @0hheytherebigbadwolf! And thank you for everyone who reads these long fanARTifact posts. 💛

[writingriver001]

Obey me character hc 💙

🤍 Brothers and side characters 🤍

General hc of mine, a mixture of things I thought of, things my friends have thought of, and things I've seen online. Just move on if you don't agree, there is no reason to hate. ((Possible ooc? I haven't gotten too far in the game))

Requests are open 🩷

Lucifer ❤

- He and Satan have the exact same birthmark on the back of their neck.

- The first to tell Satan a few stories about Lilith

- Has scared Mammon a lot because he has a tendency to stand in a room and zone out while thinking, but the room is pitch black and he is silent.

- He went with Levi to his first cosplay con because Levi was too scared to go alone

- Likes cooking, a lot. Makes brilliant soups.

- His desk has many scratch marks from digging his nails into it when stressed.

- He has a matching ring with Mammon and a matching anklet with Asmo (He begged, Lucifer pretended to be annoyed but actually thinks it's really sweet.)

- He is attracted to all genders but has a preference for men.

- Has a lingering smell of coffee and ink, it's oddly comforting

- He always has a bowl of mints on his desk that he eats when he is sitting there

- Enjoys wearing Victorian style clothing

- Asexual and Non-binary I will die on this hill

Mammon 💛 (On mobile and I can't do yellow, sorry guys <3)

- Very cuddly. Like, extremely.

- He randomly leaves notes in his brothers' rooms, reminding them to eat, or drink water. Most of the time he shoves the note under the door, knocks and runs away. He tries to disguise his handwriting but everyone knows it's him (They pretend not to know.)

- Demi aroace.

- ADHD

- Has a minor fear of the dark

- Matching keychains with everyone (Including Diavolo, and surprisingly Barbatos. His favourite is matching with Luke.)

- Has awful eyesight and has to use contacts

- Adores wearing heels (Icon)

Leviathan 💙

- He wants to spend more time with his brothers but doesn't know how to ask so he paints Asmo's nails whenever he can, and often has random colours of nail polish under his fingernails or on his fingertips

- Really enjoys love songs

- Will randomly "boop" his younger brothers noses.

- Smells like the ocean/perfume (Asmo buys him different perfumes he thinks would suit him.)

- He doesn't really care what pronouns are used for him

- Non-binary

- Snake bites (piercing)

- ADHD + Autism

- Has a split tongue

- Has a small collection of feminine clothes in a drawer. Anxious about wearing them, but his brothers hype him up enough to get him to wear them around the house

- Hates showing his legs unless he is wearing shorts

- Has fangs

- He has pointy ears that are purple at the top

- HATES wearing matching socks for no reason

- Literally allergic to grass.

- Loves centipedes so much (They were a special interest of his for a while.)

- Tan skin, scale skin pattern across his body, it even goes up the side of his neck and ends on his right cheek, next to his nose

Satan 💚

- He has a cat plushie that sits on his lap when he reads

- When somebody he knows is wearing glasses while he is walking past, he will just grab them and run. They usually have to tackle him to get them back

- Smells like lavender and occasionally old books

- Trans guy (proof? The thing in my wardrobe said so)

- ADHD

- Part of his phone case matches with Asmo's

- Has a bar piercing in his ear, idk what its called

- Part of his hair is naturally black. He always dyes it but as his relationship with Lucifer improves, he lets is grow out and doesn't dye it

- Wears hairclips

Asmodeus 🩷

- Once convinced Lucifer to let him do his makeup. Lucifer let him do his eyeliner a couple of times after that.

- He genuinely loves onesies, specifically ones that have a hood

- Genderfluid, Can and will shapeshift to change his body depending on how he feels that day. Literally doesn't care about pronouns, say whatever

- Autism, Goes nonverbal when really upset

- Helps Levi with cosplays

- Used to beg Satan to read him bedtime stories occasionally to help him feel like he was part of the family like he was asmos older brother. It's become a routine for them at least once a week

- When he goes nonverbal he will go to Satan or Lucifer for comfort, and will cling onto them

- His special interest is snowglobes.

Beelzebub 🧡

- Loves cooking, but often eats it before he can show people what he made

- If he loves somebody he will randomly bite their hand/arm.

- He has matching T-shirts with Belphie and Asmo. Once a month they have a sleepover (Asmo will do their nails, they will watch films and eat snacks.)

- Chews his shirt sleeves when working

- Has an undercut

- Dark tan skin, freckles

Belphegor 💜

- He only wears socks with patterns

- He hates bugs. Absolutely hates them.

- He likes drawing patterns on his arm, or little farm animals.

- Loves strawberry milk for no reason.

- He hates the fact that pigeons can sit down.

- He has a bad habit of falling down the stairs, and he will just lie there for 10-15 minutes before getting up.

- Snake bites piercing

- Loves audio books (managed to get Satan to record one for him, and he listens to it often.)

- Autism

- Smells like fabric softener, general floral scent but a very specific brand

- Demiromantic

- They/He pronouns, but doesn't correct people or really tell them

- He won't admit it but human men were his bisexual awakening

- Dark skin, braids (What braids? No clue, my friends hc not mine personally.)

Diavolo ❤

- Has matching bracelets with mc

- He has this one mug that he will always use for tea/coffee/hot drinks and it's bright yellow. He loves it.

- Pointy ears + ear piercings

Barbatos 💚 (Another character I know little about)

- He has fangs

- He wears glasses to read

- He really struggles to show affection with words, he is better with actions

- Split tongue

Simeon 💙

- I actually have none for him... I don't really know anything about him actually 😭

Solomon 🩷

- He can only make sausage rolls. It's the only thing he can make, but nobody trusts his cooking

- Asmo is jealous, Solomon has really long eyelashes

- Likes to crochet

Luke 💜💜

- He teaches Solomon how to cook (Tries)

- He has accidentally called Simeon AND Lucifer dad before but denies it (They have no proof)

- Levi is his favourite brother, and he really looks up to him. He tried to bake Ruri-chan gingerbread people, but when it came to the decoration it didn't go the way he wanted it too so he got really upset. Levi absolutely loved them, thanked Luke and ate them all happily regardless. (I say all... I think we all know Beel got to a few)

[mulberrysilk]

Lavender Haze

Urahara Kisuke x f!succubusreader

Summary: The vacant house next to Urahara's shop no longer remained empty as a pretty girl moves in. Was he obsessed with the girl next door? Maybe. But how could anyone blame him when you looked so delectable? Plus, he made sure to keep an eye on you, something about your reiatsu was different too...He's just being a good neighbor, that's it! He didn't expect to find out that you were more than just his beautiful neigbour...

cw: eventual smut, inspired by that line in the Chainsaw Man scene, low-key Urahara is stalkery, reader is a succubus, unprotected seggs, reader has succubus form which is small horns, wings and tail, oral(male receiving), creampie, Urahara is in love with his succubus lover, talks of reiatsu you know bleach stuff

wc: 8.2k ( she’s a long one y’all)

a/n: thought this was gonna be normal nasty smut with the normal girl next door. Turns out I made she's a succubus. ADHD brain go bRRRr.

Easily he recalled the Summer when he first met you. He had woken up past the eleventh morning hour, just in time for Tessai to return with items to stock in the store. It was the 4th Sunday of the month. The date where they routinely stocked the store with not only shinigami goods but snacks, drinks, and other convenience store items. He had wondered why there was a moving truck parked in front of the small humble house that neighbored his shop. For years it has been empty. The last owner was this little old lady who sadly passed some time ago. He was used to it being empty so it was only normal that he got curious about who would be living right beside him and his dear employees.

Opening his fan, he cooled himself from the coming afternoon heat and casually stood by the fence, the branches of the trees and their leaves, concealed his wandering eyes. Fanning himself and keeping his eyes hidden by his bucket hat, he searched for the person who was going to be his neighbor.

Out from the back of the truck in a baby pink tank top, denim shorts, and white sneakers, you appeared like those girls in the movies. The girl next door. He really thought those things were just a thing in the fictional world of movies, he didn't expect it to be happening right in front of his eyes. Was he in a movie right now? He pushed the ridiculous thought away and focused on you. He watched as you unloaded the truck with cardboard boxes that contained your belongings and shamelessly ogled the skin revealed to him due to the summer heat.

From your side profile, he could tell just how pretty you were. Your cheeks were flushed from the heat and your skin glistened with a thin sheen of sweat, making your tank top cling to your body even more, hugging your curves and reminding him of those models in summer magazines. Was he dreaming?

He didn't even know how long he had been staring but he remembered you went in and out of the front door twice, and the heap of cardboard boxes by the pavement doesn't seem to have lessened.

“You know, if you want to make advances toward her, my tip is for you to offer to help her move the boxes.” Tessai’s deep voice sounded behind him, startling the former shinigami.

“Tessai! When did you—advances? I’m merely…looking.” He brought his fan to cover the lower half of his face, a little flustered to be caught. He was so distracted he didn’t notice his friend’s presence.

“You look like a stalker.” A haughty younger voice commented.

Urahara flicked Jinta on the forehead, who was actually looking at you too.

Meanwhile, little Ururu approached you and politely asked if you needed help. The three males hid behind the safety of the concrete fence watching as she talked to you. You smiled at the young girl and their hearts fluttered. Ururu then pointed in their direction and your eyes followed where she was pointing. Squinting your eyes, you could make out two tall figures and a smaller one.

The three of them froze, caught like a deer in headlights.

You waved prettily in their direction as a short greeting before Ururu and you moved your stuff inside.

“You like her.” Jinta teased Urahara.

“Nonsense. I know nothing about her.” He played it off coolly, fanning himself.

“You know that she’s your neighbor now and that she’s attractive.” Tessai backed up the kid, Urahara mocked an expression of betrayal as his friend took Jinta’s side.

“We shall be good neighbors to her and nothing more.” Urahara snapped his fan shut before returning to the air-conditioned confines of his shop. Although he said what he did, he was sure he was going to see a lot of you, and should the opportunity arise that he could flirt.

Just harmless flirting.  He told himself.

If only he could take back his words.

As the summer progressed, you settled into your little home and he caught you most of the time when you were coming home from wherever you’ve been but on the weekends, he would have a full view of you in your backyard, tending to the herbs and vegetables you grew at home. With the heat, you’d be in shorts most of the time and it was paired with either a tank top or a sports bra. The two of you only ever acknowledged one another silently, not having the chance to speak to each other formally but he wasn’t going to rush things. Sometimes he thinks it’s better off this way. To just look and don’t touch. It was painful in certain ways for him because, like other men, he too had his own needs and desires.

One afternoon changed everything.

It had been so hot, the air conditioning in his shop wasn’t enough to fight the heat. He had brought out extra fans to make it better and the more he stared at the frozen items box, the more he wanted to just stick his face inside to feel relief.

The door to his shop slid open and in you came. Your back was against the light that shined as you entered and it made you glow. He felt a hint of warmth collect in his abdomen when you smiled softly at him. Your shoulders and collarbones were exposed as you wore a sundress with thin straps. It was shorter than most sundresses, it came up to your mid-thigh, not that he was complaining. It cinched perfectly at your waist and the fabric of the skirt flowed and swished with every movement. God, you were absolutely delectable today.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my new neighbor. How may I help you?” He plastered on his shopkeeper facade.

“I was hoping to find ice cream.” You clasped your hands behind you and raised your shoulders in a cute way. “It’s too hot these days and I’m working from home, so I thought, ice cream would be nice.”

“Good for you, I do have ice cream and an assortment of sweets if that’s to your fancy.” He gestured to the freezer.

“Thank you.” You grinned before going to make your ice cream selection. “So…um…I know I just moved in. I’ve met Ururu who told me she works here and I feel a little rude that I haven’t introduced myself to you yet.” You made small talk, eying the variety of ice cream flavours.

“Oh?”

You introduced yourself properly, telling him your name, and extended your thanks to him for how Ururu helped you move in.

“She’s really strong for her age.” You said, finally choosing an ice cream flavour. Strawberry.

“That she is. Would you be so kind as to also get me a piece?” He asked before you made your way to the counter.

“Oh, sure. What flavour?”

“Same as yours.”

At the counter, you reached inside your little purse to pay but he spoke. “It’s on the house this time, cutie.”

Your heart jumped at the nickname. Heat collected in your cheeks and you murmured your thanks. Somehow instead of leaving, you found yourself sitting next to him in the air-conditioned living room of his house, eating ice cream and having a pleasant conversation. His company was nice and you had to admit you were proud to have made a friend out of your neighbour….attractive neighbour.

Kisuke felt the same too but he had felt the need to keep you around because he was surprised by the spiritual pressure a human like yourself had. He was curious to know if you were some special being or merely a human who will bait hollows and other entities your way. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were some special being with how endearing and magnetic you were. But if you were merely a human with such energy…well, he felt the need to protect you. It didn’t help that he was so willing because he had developed a crush, obsession? Whatever people these days called it. He just knew he wanted you in every way possible but of course, he had to be a gentleman.

“What brought you to Karakura?”

“Was looking at listings and this place was up for rent at a really good price, plus it’s an easy commute to the city and it’s quiet.” You replied, suckling at the strawberry popsicle.

“Quiet? You running away from a boyfriend or something?” He playfully suggested, sneakily asking if you were taken or not. Not that it would be a problem.

“Something like that.��� You murmured and his eyes widened a little but then you broke into a smile. “I’m just kidding!”You laughed. “Have you always been a shop owner?”

“Nope.” He answered you truthfully and you tilted your head.

“Oh?”

“It’s complicated but basically, I was expelled from my past occupation.”

“Expelled? Did you do something bad?” Your gaze never left him.

“To them, yes but in my eyes, I failed at what I had to do. So I came here and decided to be a shopkeeper.” He grinned at you, making light of the topic and you gave him a small smile.

“Quite the interesting man you are.” You giggled before having another taste of your ice cream, unaware of the eyes that clouded like a storm at the way your lips wrapped at the tip of the pink iced treat. Taking a bite of his treat, he couldn’t help but wonder how soft your lips might be against his skin, his lips, or his—

“Oi! Urahara!” The shoji door slid open, the cool air from the air conditioning escaping the confines of the living room. Urahara internally sighed at his disrupted thoughts.

Your head casually turned to the unfamiliar voice and stood by the door was someone you’ve never met before. He stared at you and you stared at him, your brows furrowed as he continued to stare for quite some time. His teddy bear brown eyes looked you up and down, taking in the view of an attractive stranger with an ice lolly between her lips and the pretty summer dress she wore. Pink dusted his cheeks before he turned his attention to the man seated not too far from you.

“I-I need to talk to you!” Orange haired boy demanded, masking his fluster.

“Kurosaki-kun, as you can see I have a visitor,” Kisuke responded and you waved your hand.

“It’s okay. I can go.”  You told the two men, the urgency in Kurosaki’s eyes told you that it was important and something not to be shared with others. It’s not your problem nor did you care to know what it was.

“Thanks for the ice cream, Kisuke.” You chimed happily, sending a wink his way, and it felt like an arrow went straight into his heart. “I’ll see you around.”

So cute. He thought to himself, a little disappointed you had to go but he must admit watching you walk past Ichigo on your way out, was a pretty view that made up for your leaving. He thanked whatever designer made your dress at such a perfect length. One that wasn’t too short to explicitly tempt and not too long to bore. It was just the right length that created tension, that made Urahara wonder how pretty it would be to bunch the fabric up to reveal more of your thighs.

Once the front door shut telling them of your departure, Ichigo turned to the man still sitting and halfway done with his ice cream.

“Who was that?”

“My neighbor.” Urahara sighed with a smile that Ichigo couldn’t read but made him narrow his eyes at the playfully crafty man. “So, what is it that you need to tell me so badly that you disturbed my precious time with my pretty neighbor?”

Urahara wouldn't say he was a stalker. Maybe if anyone did see him, they'd think that's what he was doing. But he was merely watching you from the comfort of his home. It wasn't his fault his bedroom upstairs looked directly into your bedroom. He'd like to think fate was tempting him, giving him signs that your paths were meant to constantly cross.

It was definitely a game of fate because there were times the curtains were closed and days when they were left drawn apart. It’s not like he waits for you to show up or anything, there were just some instances where he’d see you going to bed in those cute pyjamas of yours. He liked in particular the pink ones or the white and pink shorts ensemble.

Tonight though, he could see you again. Lying on your stomach with a bunny plushie cradling your chin while you read a book, your legs swung in the air, the air conditioner in full blast with how hot the weather had been. This lovely night's choice of sleepwear was a white cotton tank top paired with white frilly shorts. His eyes ran along the length of your legs, wondering how smooth your thighs might be. 

Your presence in his life was constant and honestly was a breath of fresh air from all the hollow and shinigami issues that come and go. He would even say you two had become close friends. Small exchanges became him coming over to fix stuff when you need it or you going over to the shop with sweets or pastries from the city. If you had a watermelon to beat the heat, you’d share it with him.

Despite this blooming friendship, Urahara was plagued with thoughts that made his stomach warm and crave you like a wolf hungry for prey. It didn’t help that you had also become the subject of his wet dreams that had always made him wake up in a mess, sweating and he even felt like he didn’t get enough sleep….was he being a bad neighbour?

And could you blame him for the shock and dumbfounded look on his face when you, one searing hot afternoon, asked him? “So do you wanna do it?”

Your voice was soft as your head lay against the pillow of your bed, the two of you had escaped to your room after he had helped you hook the sound system to the tv. The air conditioner was on full blast and the cold air being pushed out was the only sound in the silence between you two.

Urahara sucked in a breath, and doing so made the overwhelmingly sweet scent of your sheets, of you, too much. Pheromones was it? “Do what?” He calmly grinned, not letting his composure falter.

You shifted in your position, stretching a little then leaned your head on your extended arm, locks of your hair cascading over your face and that delicate curve of your neck. Your eyes appeared sleepy as if you had some sake to drink and had gotten tipsy, it was alluring, it was…seducing. Was he dreaming again?

The summer sun glared at him and his eyes adjusted and searched for your face, finding first your glossed pink lips. “Fuck.”

Now he really was at a loss for words. He felt like who he used to be over a hundred years ago when he had become Captain. Easily flustered, nervous, and unsure of himself. “W-what?”

The sun got into his eyes again.

When they adjusted this time, your hands rested on either side of his head and you were looking down at him, meeting his gaze as your hair fell around you. The warm orange hue of the sun kissed your skin and made you and your hair glow. He could even feel the warmth of your skin  as you leaned over him, so close.

“I think you heard what I said.” You purred, throwing a leg over his hip. Urahara swallowed the lump in his throat again. Was he dreaming? Oh, god, was he dreaming?! His dreams even felt as real as this. It was hard to tell.

He didn’t dare move a finger scared that if he touched you, you’d disappear. Even when you straddled him with your cool palms against his chest. He laid still.

Your eyes never left him and he wondered if he had imagined the pink glow that flashed in your irises when you batted your lashes and pushed apart the lapels of his samue.

A finger traced along his center, from the crevice between his two collarbones down his chest and to his abdomen. “What’s wrong?”You leaned forward, your lips brushing against his earlobe as you cooed sickeningly sweet. “Why are you so still?” You toyed with the strings of his pants. He swore to himself. Blood was rushing down to his groin and it didn’t help that your ass was pressed against it. There was no way you couldn’t feel him harden against you.

You raised your head a little, pushing his bucket hat up in the process to remove the shadow he hid behind. His eyes couldn’t stay in one place. It jumped from your eyes, the gentle tempting smile of your lips and the sight of your cleavage as your shirt dipped low, soft breasts in their lacy bra cups,

“Y/N-chan….” He sounded as if he was warning you.

“I’m not playing any games with you, Kisuke.” You said, sliding your hands from his shoulders and then to his hands, guiding them to your waist. “Am I?”

“I think you are playing a dangerous game,” he spoke, feeling your waist, internally groaning at the fact he was touching you, really touching you.

“Awe,” you cooed, pouting your lips mockingly. “Are you nervous?” You were teasing him now, cradling his wrists and sliding them higher til they cupped your breasts.

“Aren’t you?” He managed to say, fighting the urge to squeeze your breasts through your shirt, he could already feel just how soft they were.

You shook your head, your resting smile unfaltering as you continued to splay your fingers on his exposed chest, running them up and down sensually slow you could feel the goosebumps on his skin form.

You cupped his face, caressing his cheekbone with your thumb. Each contact made a shivering delightful feeling bloom on his skin and the intensity of your gaze melted him further and further as if it was pulling him under a spell.

The feeling intensified when you leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his cheek, then his jaw, and god, his neck. Urahara moaned softly, the heat of your lips and the slight nibble of your teeth on his sensitive skin was like another sip of exquisite saké.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” He lowered his hands to your hips, grabbing the flesh as he rolled his hips upwards for so much needed friction. The feeling made you giggle. That sound was like a siren song.

“Maybe.” You said with a smile he could feel against his skin before you continued to kiss along his neck. A sensual roll of your hips and his eyes shut momentarily at the feeling. “I can tell you’re enjoying this.”

He was. He was thoroughly enjoying this, the heavy petting, the kissing, and the closeness of your bodies. This experience was different. He felt all too consumed in your aura, your presence, and your touch. It was intoxicating. He wondered if this was normal. If the dreams, the way you took up all his thoughts and now your very touch, were all still of the human world.

Before he could even question and remind himself of your spiritual energy, your lips stopped their delicious kisses and you straightened your back. You reached for the hem of your shirt and peeled it over your head, your hair tousled by the removal. Staring at you felt surreal. It was almost psychedelic. Your body was the only figure that was clear while everything else other than you was fuzzy and blurred.

“I’m gonna ask you again, Kisuke.” Your voice traveled smoothly in both his ears, echoing in his head. He swore there were pink symbols in your irises right now. His eyes were locked on yours, there was no denying it. “Do you…” you pressed your naked breasts against his chest, their softness against his muscles making him painfully hard. “…want…”. You kissed his cheek. “…to…” then the corner of his lips, so dangerously close. He gripped your hips, hard enough to leave marks. You were driving him crazy. You hovered your lips over his, barely touching. “…fuck?”

You didn’t have to ask him again.

A rough hand grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you down to finally, finally, kiss you.

Oh, he tasted sweet. So sweet. You could feel his beautiful spiritual energy seep under your skin. You were right to have chosen him.  Even though you moved here to start anew, you didn’t expect to meet someone like him. You didn’t know what he was exactly but his spiritual energy had you weak in your knees. It flowed bountifully like a waterfall. It was strong too which meant you wouldn’t need much to keep your capabilities base level.

You were giddy and thrilled to have found him.

This was not normal. Urahara thought as he kissed you with such hunger. His lips moved in tandem with yours, fighting for dominance and easily winning it. He thought your touch was intoxicating? Your lips were far more dangerous. They were downright hallucinogenic. It was as if they were laced with a poison that seeped immediately into his system that made the depraved lust he had for you, increase a thousandfold.

This was definitely not normal.

Your spiritual energy was increasing too, it felt like a weighted velvet blanket on his body, getting heavier and heavier. Not heavy, almost, joining with his? How was this possible?

Thinking wasn’t easy, not when he had the beautiful neighbour he’s been dreaming and fantasising of on top of him. His hands moved on their own, feeling and tracing your curves, cupping your soft breasts, and feeling their weight against his palms. This was better than he imagined you felt. It couldn’t compare.

Urahara pulled away to catch his breath. His chest rose and fell quickly while you kissed the spot on his neck that you had marked before and lowered yourself, leaving kisses along his chest and his abdomen. His breath hitched when he felt your chin brush the hem of his pants. His eyes snapped open to look down and were met with dark clouded eyes staring prettily up at him, lashes fluttering with each blink.

“Watching me from your bedroom isn’t enough is it?”

You knew? Fuck. For how long?

“You caught me,” he chuckled, petting your head adoringly. “No point in lying to you, is there?”

You shook your head with a sly, cheeky smile. “You don’t have to lie to me, Kisuke.” You untie the strings to his pants, the hem loosening easily. “Have you thought about this?”

His breath got caught in his throat. Your hand pressed against his erection through the fabric. “Y-yes. C’mon, sweetheart. Don’t tease me. I thought you weren’t playing any games with me?”

“I’m not.” You shimmied his pants down along with his boxers, cock springing freely from the constraints of the fabric.

Urahara hissed when the cool air kissed the leaking head of his cock. Was he always this sensitive? Before he could say anything, your tongue licked a stripe along his length, dreamy eyes staring up at him with lust. You enjoyed his reactions. He looked so pretty like this, cheeks flushed, eyes droopy with desire, and hair all tousled. You continued your ministrations, running your tongue once more at his perfectly sized length before kissing the cute pink head of his cock, the precum already making your senses vibrate crazily.

Like you had suckled on the strawberry popsicle the first time he had you over, your lips wrapped prettily around him, your tongue hot against his cock as you swirled it over his sensitive head.

“Keep going, sweetheart. F-fuck,” he softly moaned out. His words encouraged you and the gentle brush of his thumb along your brow made you happily take him deeper. His fingers tighten in your hair as he groaned in bliss. He was hot and heavy against your tongue, and the natural condition of your entity enjoyed the musky taste of him.

Urahara’s fantasies were incomparable to this. He was already losing his mind at the hot warmth of your mouth and the rhythmic bobbing of your head along his cock. A sharp delightful shiver ran up and down his spine when he felt his tip touch the back of your throat, you gagged cutely and he looked down at you to make sure you were okay. He was brought immediately closer to the edge when he drank in the sight of your glossy eyes staring up at him with an adorable furrow of your brows. This was far better than he imagined.

His moans left him freely, and his hand on your head continued to pet you as he felt the tension in his spine tighten. You could feel yourself get wetter just at the sight of him. Touching him and finally pleasuring him, was heightening your sensitivity. The ache in your core was painfully sweet and you couldn’t help but moan around his length, completely aware of how the vibrations affected him.

Urahara swore under his breath, unable to hold back the following thrusts of his hips as his orgasm bursts through his body. He felt as if broke through the cottony haze he had been under, only to sink right back in and further down once more. He could feel the way your tongue moved as he remained still inside, and the movement of your throat as you swallowed his cum with your eyes shut in bliss. What an obscene picture.

He felt your spiritual energy increase again. The little clarity he was able to gather after climaxing helped give his brain enough time to form full thoughts and assess the situation.

Watching you pull back, you detached yourself, cock slipping from your lips with a soft pop. You licked along your lips with a satisfied smile, like a cat who just got the cream. Which you kinda …did. The way you glowed intensified, and your aura had completely changed.

“You’re not human aren’t you?” He caught his breath, analysing his senses. It wasn’t a question that he needed an answer to.

“You’re not human too.” You simply answered back, climbing on top of him. His cock, half hard, slotting between your warm slit.

“You’re feeding off my reiatsu.”

“Something like that,” you smiled, intertwining your fingers with his. “I can’t exactly feed off just any kind of reiatsu.” You slowly rocked back and forth, Urahara feeling the wetness of your pussy coating him. His hands gripped yours, his eyes rolling back at the heat of your folds. God, he wanted to be inside you.

“Sexual reiatsu then?”

“Mhm.” You hummed, gasping when the tip of his cock caught at your entrance. You lifted your hips a little higher. “S-something like tha—.” You cut off with a moan as you sunk down a little, taking in the head of his length. He felt better than you could ever imagine.

Urahara felt that at this moment, he had more control than you did. Your fingers were squeezing him, your thighs were quivering with need and your face, your pretty face, was trying so hard to focus. You looked as if you were losing all resolve, completely crumbling apart with lust. He watched you intently, refusing to miss a single thing as you sank down on him, taking him into your tight, velvety heat that‘s got him aching hard again.

Bottomed out, your head fell forward. You took a couple of breaths as you allowed yourself time to adjust. It has been a while since you’ve laid with anyone, you almost hated yourself for tearing away the euphoric feeling of connecting your body to someone. Even so, with him, it was different. You didn’t just want to have him once and leave it at that. You wanted to have him. Completely. God, his reiatsu feeding yours was overwhelming. You could cry at how good he feels.

His voice pierced through the rapturous screaming of your body. He said your name so sweetly. That gentle and teasing coo of your name that had you weak in the knees.

“Look at me.”

Without a second thought, you did as he said. His larger hands squeezed yours in a reassuring manner and you felt as if your heart was going to burst at that action. You met his gaze, the once dwindling remnants of your energy almost fully replenished after months. Urahara was met with the pink pattern in your irises in full glow. Everything but you was a blur of colours. The effect your being had on him was akin to a drug that heightened every pleasurable sensation and kept you and him in a haze of warm lavender.

If his assumptions were correct, then he was one lucky and unfortunate bastard.

“Show me who you really are.” He untangled one hand to caress your cheek, the soft touch making you lean into his palm.

How could you not give him everything he wanted? His reiatsu was sweet, warm, and enveloping. It was delicious. You felt intoxicated by it and ever since your skin touched his, you knew you drew him into your web.

Urahara moaned when you rolled your hips, his cock hugged by your velvety walls, and he cussed when you took his thumb into your pretty little mouth. He blinked a couple of times, fighting the urge to rock into you as he wanted to see your true form. Your kind was rare, very rare. In fact, many shinigami believed your kind to be just a myth and a fantasy of depraved men.

The sun had begun to set and the golden hour illuminated your skin. Its rays glared at his eyes once more and when his eyes adjusted again, he caught the shape of two horns curling by the side of your head like a crown and stretched wide behind you were the most majestic set of wings, a shade of deep purple. Your eyes were shut as his thumb swiped your lower lip. Were you embarrassed?

“Didn’t I tell you to look at me?” He chuckled and you adorably blinked your eyes open, lashes fluttering. God, you were so cute. He can’t hold himself back anymore.

Gently with his strength, he switched your positions. Your back landed on the soft mattress of your bed, taking you by surprise that your wings had contracted into themselves. His hands held your hips as he hoisted them onto his thighs, lifting them up. You stared at him, eyes wide. His thumb spread apart your puffy lips, humming satisfactorily at how it glistened with slick.  When he returned his gaze to your face only to find it hidden behind your hands, he found it endearing that you were being shy especially since it was in your nature…

“What’s wrong?” He asked, rubbing his length between your folds, collecting your slick before guiding his head to your entrance, merely kissing with the tip. You whined into your hands at the feeling, hips wriggling for more. “Talk to me, Y/N-channn.”

“I-I have never shown anyone…” you peaked through your fingers, his ash blonde hair prettily a mess over his eyes as he looked at you with such a gentle look, a contrast to your former lover from a hundred years ago whose face had contorted in horror in a rare blood moon. “…shown anyone at will…”

“You hide this cute form of yours?” He pushed the head of his cock in, turned on by the way your back arched at just him entering you.

He sighed out in bliss, sinking slowly, inch by inch feeling the warmth of your walls hug him. It was heavenly. God, he was never going to get enough of you. There’s so much he wanted to do to you. This was just the tip of the iceberg.

“K-kisuke,” you whimpered, not satisfied with him just remaining still inside you. You needed more.

"What's gotten you so submissive, hm?" He teased, taking his thumb and massaging your clit. The pressure made you moan. "You were the one who started all this." He drew his hip back a little to shallowly rock in and out of you. His own moan accompanied yours, your walls contracting needily around him.

He was right. You were the one who started this but now you were melting in his touch, helplessly needing his touch. You believed it was the strength of his reiatsu. It was stronger than any human you've played with to just get enough energy to keep your powers available to you. His sexual reiatsu, unlike humans, felt as if you had no way of depleting it, it was making your senses and your lustful need increase a thousandfold.

"P-please, I need you." You whimpered, your hands no longer hiding your face. They fell to your side as you gripped your sheets, the slow rocking of his hips, the slow sensation of his cock scraping your walls, was driving you insane. You wanted it in full force, not like this, this was torture. If it had been just another human, you would've maintained full control. He was different.

"You beg just as cute as I thought." He smiled at you, hands gripping your hips tight. "I still have questions." Though he was stalling from giving you what you want, enjoying the obscene sight of your body shivering and aching for pleasure, and your cute lewd face, he was using everything in him to not just fuck you senseless in your bed.

"I'll answer anything you ask after!" You cried out, the burning ache in your core too much. You needed the sweet burst of relief to wrack your body, you needed the vulgar rapture of fucking to ruin you. "Just, please, please, use me as you wish." You never begged any of your victims like this.

The sweet sound of your voice pleading him like that deepened his desire for you. He'll show you just how much he's been wanting you all this time.

He drew his hips back, almost leaving the velvet heat of your walls. You were about to whine, thinking he was going to tease you to no end but no. Like a man starved, like a dog in heat, he drove back into you, fully sheathing himself again, and regulated a rough and fast pace.

Your lips parted in a silent scream, that tingling and electrifying feeling you’ve deprived yourself of in the full flux of your energy for years, sent strong, crashing waves of pleasure throughout your body. It was euphoric. Each deep stroke had your toes curling and your eyes shutting in pure bliss. Every nerve receptor was on overdrive and made the right coiling feeling in your tummy contract further.

You didn’t care about the lewd moans that left your lips or the obscene sound of skin slapping on skin and the wet squelching of your pussy as Urahara pounded into you. That burning ache within you was being scratched and god, why did his cock feel so good. 

Urahara was relentless. He drew his hips back and drove them back in in a crazed frenzy, chasing his own high and addicted to the warm plush walls of your pussy squeezing him. His own groans and pleasurable moans melded with yours, the two of you a hot sticky mess of sex.

Even in the daze of carnal lust, he made sure to enjoy the pornographic sight of you on his bed, puffy pussy lips split apart by his cock and tits bouncing with each collision of his hips against yours. You were so out of it too. Your cute little tongue poked out just a bit between your lips and your eyes couldn’t even stay open, you were just spiraling in pure pleasure.

He brought one of your legs over his shoulder, angling himself in a way he could rut in you deeper. “K-Kisuke!” You screamed his name out so sweetly, his cock head kissing your g-spot repeatedly. You were just a mess of arousal. He could feel how wet you were by the way you coat his cock and even drip over his thighs and the bed. It was downright dirty. And it was all for him.

“F-fuck,” he swore to himself, thrusting endlessly, feeling a tightness in the base of his spine. He was dangerously close and it didn’t help that you were too. Your walls were hugging him tighter and you messily continued to get wetter, his cock scraping your walls over and over emitting sloppy wet sounds.

You could feel him get harder inside you and you bit your lip at how delicious that felt. He looked so pretty when he fucked you. His cheeks were pink and his skin glistened with a thin sheen of sweat. Your release was growing nearer and nearer. Sweet refrains of his name continued to leave your lips, begging and pleading for more, and telling him how good he felt which encouraged him to fuck you harder.

His hand caressed your lower tummy, pressing his palm against where his cock was inside of you. The pressure made you keen, your fingers gripping the sheets now.

Urahara was completely focused on the beautiful creature you were, wanting nothing more than to make you his and be the only one to hear your sweet moans. To be the one who would make those cute lewd expressions form on your pretty face. The only one to see just how beautiful you are.

His thumb finds your throbbing pearl and massaged it in circular motions. You cried out in pleasure, the added stimulation making you tip over the edge. Your walls gripped his cock tight making it almost impossible to pull out as your body convulsed. Your lips were parted and your eyes were shut as pleasure shot through you like electricity. Your hips were shaking as you came all over him, your sweet honey spilling forth as he shallowly thrusts, his balls tightening.

“F-fuck, tell me where to cum, sweetheart.” He tried to control the quick rhythm of his hips that was moving desperately to empty himself into you.

Urahara searched for your face through the curtain of his blond hair over his eyes. Your hair was strewn over your face as you panted, hips shaking and soft breasts bouncing with his movement. He needed your answer and he hoped it was the one he wanted.

“I-inside.” You sighed dreamily, watching him through heavy lidded eyes. You moved your leg over his shoulder to join the other in wrapping around his waist, trapping him in place to uphold your answer.

The symbol in your irises was glowing pink. You held out your arms, inviting him into them and he leaned forward, crashing his lips into yours as he did. He kissed you deeply, driving his cock hard and fast, focused on the hot grip of your pussy around his throbbing and aching cock. Your arms were wrapped around him as you kissed him back, moving your lips in perfect tandem with his.

Your body was still electrified from your orgasm and the continuous sensation of his cock rocking in and out of you was sending you into overdrive. You wouldn’t be truly satisfied til you had his seed anywhere on you and even better inside of you.

With a couple more thrusts and giving it all in his final one, the tightness in the base of his spine, exploded. You moaned into his mouth as you felt heat shoot inside of your womb, it made your eyes roll back in ecstasy. Urahara kept himself hoisted up as he emptied his balls, groaning as he felt your walls milk his cock. How salacious your pussy was, he had thought. You were going to drive him crazy.  He remained still inside of you, relishing in the sweet victorious sensation of fulfilling one of his dirty fantasies.

He peppered kisses along your neck as your bodies remained pressed against one another. This wasn’t anything he’d experienced before. It was definitely out of this world. 

“You feel so good, Kisuke.” You hummed sweetly, petting his head as the two of you laid side by side now on your bed.

He rested his head on the pillow of your breasts, his arms draped over your abdomen as yours and his legs remained tangled with one another. The climax of both your highs lingered longer than expected and you two cuddled as you both recovered from the raw mindless fucking you two indulged in. 

“The things you do to me, woman.” He let out a sigh, though a little tired, his cock twitched to life wanting to bury itself inside you once more.

You giggled. “You can ask me anything you like. I did. promise you.” You lovingly pet him, your heart tied to this man.

“You’re no normal cutie neighbor that’s for sure,” he concluded, light-heartedly. He caressed your side. “How long have you starved yourself?”

You didn’t expect that…he almost sounded pained to have asked that.

“A while…”

“Myths say your kind needs semen to survive.” He couldn’t help but think of how he came inside of you as he said that.

“That myth is partially wrong.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “We don’t need it to survive. We feed off sexual reiatsu that is emitted when we engage in any kind of sexual activity with a man. The semen is the most potent form of a man’s sexual reiatsu.”

“Which means?” He was honestly curious. He adjusted his position so he could comfortably look at you as you spoke while still holding you close.

“To put it simply, to us, it’s like an energy shot. A very addicting, delicious, energy shot that our bodies happily respond to.” You explained, your cheeks warm. You couldn’t help but be flushed by him. He was gazing up at you as you spoke to him about the ways of your kind. It was unnatural and you expected a far more negative reaction, not this sweet adoration in his eyes.

“How come I’m not depleted of my reiatsu ?”

“B-because…I don’t want to.” Your voice trailed off, getting softer.

“How long have you abstained?”

“For quite sometime now. I didn’t want to continue feeding off humans…they will...have deteriorated if they kept relations with me.”

Urahara could hear the pain in your voice. You found your very being to be a curse. He assumed you had stopped because of your soft heart but that was dangerous of you to do to yourself.

Silence fell before the two of you, there was a far-off look in your eyes and he wondered about how lonely you must’ve been. You’ve probably never had the chance to really have a relationship with a human man. To be in love.

Oh, the thought made his heart ache. Luck for you, he wasn’t a human. He could fulfill all your needs if you asked him to.

“What happens if you keep continuing to…um…see… the same man? Besides deterioration.” He asked, breaking you away from your trance.

You knew what he insinuated.

“O-oh…well…I would form a bond with him but in the past, I'd always chose not to feed off the same man twice. So I never bonded with any of them. ”

“And how will you know if this bond has formed?”

He was asking very specific questions but you didn’t think much of it. Though you haven’t even formed a bond yet, you felt your heart was chained to him. You wanted him all to yourself.

“A very special mark would show up right here,” you took his hand and placed it a couple of centimetres below your navel, low and close to the apex of your mound.

Urahara followed your hand and stared at the smooth, unmarked skin.

“Kisuke…”

He’ll never get tired of you saying his name.

“Yes?” He looked at you once more. His pretty little goddess.

“What are you really? Your reiatsu is different from a human. It’s stronger and there’s so much of it.” You cupped his cheek. “You’re no ordinary shopkeeper.”

He didn’t feel the need to hide the truth from you. You had shown him your true form, which he didn’t understand why you were ashamed of. To him, it was cute and sexy. Every man’s sick fantasy.

The playful and aloof facade he always wore, faded. His eyes were serious now but still gazed at you gently. The tone of his voice was no longer in the usual happy melodious tune he took. “I was once a soul reaper, my dear.”

You blinked, surprised at the revelation that explained his reitasu being different from anyone you’ve ever met. You knew of shinigami , you see them in Karakura town both in their true form where other humans can’t see them, and in their gigai . You didn’t expect your handsome, cute but pervy, neighbour to be one.

“I see.” Was all you said, still holding the man in your arms who comfortably remained in your warm embrace, his own limbs draped over your own.

Your brows furrowed when you felt him slip away, sitting up beside you, his broad muscular back flexing as he did.

“Kisuke?” You sat up too, on your knees.

He glanced at the call of your name and shuddered at the cute sight before him. Naked skin glimmering, cute eyes staring at him, little cute horns curled on each side of your head and your wings relaxed behind you, had him enchanted by you once again. He was down bad. Very, very bad.

He sighed, turned to face you, and inched close. His surroundings were clear of that haze your energy created. The entirety of your room was clear and no longer blurry, yet this invisible glowing halo on you still remained.

“The sun has set.”

Was he leaving? Your heart cracked at the thought. You didn’t want to use your powers to keep him, you wanted him but you wanted him to want you for you of his own volition. “Y-yes it has.”

“We shouldn’t…” He looked down, his hair falling over his eyes.

You understood. A little ashamed, dejected even, you slowly brought the sheets up to your chest, covering yourself as you bit your trembling lip, waiting for words that would feel like a knife pierced your chest.

“We shouldn’t waste any time then.” Urahara nodded, as he came to a decision about whatever he thought.

You blinked, confused. “What?”

In a flash, you found yourself, torso down on the bed with a pillow underneath you to keep you comfy while his hands firmly gripped your hips, hoisting it up. You yelped at the sudden position, feeling the remnants of  Urahara’s seed unloaded into you that didn’t fit in your womb anymore, leaked out of your messy slicked hole.

“Oh wow, how messy.” He teased and then blinked. “You didn’t tell me you had this cute tail!” From the base of your spine and extended was a slender black serpentine tail.

His reiatsu was insane. One encounter with him replenished your powers and awakened your true form. No one ever had this effect on you. And he thought this form, horns, wings, and tail were cute?!

"Ah!" A ticklish shudder ran up and down your spine. The sound that left you was a mix between a moan and a yelp. "D-don't do that." You whimpered, legs shaking.

"Do what?" He played innocently, fingers trailing over where your tail connected to your spine. He was enjoying having you under his control. Then repeated what he did again, watching the way your thighs shook and your cute pink pussy pulse.

"Don't pull at it!" You whined, feeling embarrassed. You've never, ever, dared to be seen in your true form. You buried your face into the pillow and Urahara was screaming internally at how adorable you were.

"Awe, I'm sorry." He pouted, caressing gently the base of your spine. "Why are you hiding?"

"I-I'm just not used to being seen like this."

"But you're sooo cute, like this." He replied, pressing himself against you, slowly rubbing his hardening length between your folds making you mewl.

"Y-you want to..." you panted, losing yourself at the friction of his cock rubbing your clit. You wanted him again and more if he was able. You didn't want to tire him out. "...again?"

"I told you didn't I?" He popped the head of his cock into your pussy once more, slowly filling you up inch by inch. "We shouldn't waste any time." Urahara groaned, balls deep inside you once more with the gorgeous view of your back curved with your plush ass against him.

You squealed into the pillow, unashamedly pushing your hips further back to feel him deeper.

"By the end of the night, Y/N-chan," he huskily spoke, gently tugging at your tail. The action made you squeeze around him deliciously, arousal tickling your whole body. "We're gonna make sure I leave that mark."

  if you enjoyed my works and you’re feeling generous, you can tip me on ko-fi!

[mistressofpuppets86]

Fireworks of our own

Pairing: Present day James Hetfield x reader (NO USE OF Y/N)

Synopsis: You’re settling into life in a new town and a new state after a massive and massively unexpected inheritance. You become close with the highly recognizable and hot as fuck heavily tattooed… and somewhat recently divorced… silver fox that you learn lives across the street from you.

Warnings: 18+. There will be smut. Minors, fuck off. RPF. 1st person POV. 20-ish year age gap. Reader is early 40s, James is 60. Reader’s race is not mentioned or described, but is AFAB and female identifying. Due to the lack of female readers with my body type when body type is described/hinted at, reader is also short and somewhat plus-sized, and has small breasts. Unprotected sex. Public sex. Creampie.

Moving into the large expensive house I’d inherited in Colorado turned out to be one of my smarter decisions.  The house used to belong to my step-aunt and step-uncle.  I didn’t find out until after they were both gone that they’d made an agreement codified in their wills.  What it boiled down to was that their biological relatives were a bunch of greedy vultures who loved to squabble over anything of value, vying with each other for the best of whatever it was and only caring about what benefit there was for themselves in literally any situation.  It shocked me as much as anyone when I was the one named sole beneficiary of their entire estate.  I don’t know what would have happened had I turned it down, but turning down enough of a bank account to make me independently wealthy plus a variety of stocks and other investments that were continuing to provide income and a plush house in the ski town of Vail was not something I would do.  I never had to work again if I didn’t want to, and the house was entirely paid off.  It would have been complete idiocy to reject all that.  In further interest of not being a complete idiot, I also took measures as soon as possible to ensure my step-aunt’s and step-uncle’s wishes were respected.  In the event of my untimely death, ‘those people’ would still inherit nothing.  I used the same lawyers my step-aunt and step-uncle had to ensure my will was as ironclad as theirs had been, in case ‘those people’ contested mine as my step-aunt’s and step-uncle’s had been contested when I was named sole heir.

What surprised me was how friendly the rest of the residents were, and how patient they were in getting me integrated into the community.  Being autistic and having ADHD made social interactions feel weird and awkward to me when I was around new people.  Everyone in Vail was new to me.  I’d moved here alone and used a moving company to do all the hard work for me.  My friends were all online and lived in other states if not other countries so it hadn’t seemed like a big deal for me.  Especially since I was such an introverted type by nature.  But something about Vail put me at ease and made it easier for me to open up to people.  It helped that they were understanding of my differences and made an effort to work with them rather than treating me with pity or like I was something to be shunned.

The real shock was my across-the-street neighbor turning out to be James fucking Hetfield of all people.  Thankfully he’d been amused rather than weirded out by my reaction to seeing him and learning he was my neighbor now.  I didn’t hide that I was a fan, but I did at least try to keep things mellow in his presence.  It helped that he was super down to earth and generally a fun guy to be around.  It didn’t take me long to relax around him while we talked and got to know each other.  I definitely had my freak-out once I was alone in my house though.

That was months ago.  Now we’re at a local park for a Fourth of July community event.  I had worn a cute spaghetti strap lavender dress with white flowers on it.  The hemline fell to a little below my knees, and there was a slit from the hem to mid thigh on the left.  The skirt part was flared enough to mostly hide my chubby belly while the bodice was a little fitted to give me some shape, with lightly padded breast cups that flattered my small bust.  I’d paired it with black strappy low-heeled wedge sandals and my hair was brushed and twisted up in a claw clip.  I spritzed on some orange-vanilla-cinnamon body spray, and was ready.  I had never been a makeup girl so I didn’t even own any.  James had given me a look I couldn’t interpret when he’d rung my doorbell so we could drive over together, but he’d also offered me his arm with a playful grin.  I’d happily taken it, grinning back and trying to ignore the way my heart fluttered in my chest as we walked to his vehicle together.  He was looking especially good himself today.  Well-fitted jeans, a t-shirt that hugged his lean body just right and showed off his tattoos, and one of his many pairs of black boots.  One of his many cowboy style hats sat on top of his silvered head.  Normally that kind of thing didn’t have any special effect on me.  But when that sort of hat was on him, it made the song lyric ‘save a horse ride a cowboy’ come to mind.

He parked and we walked toward the entrance.  When I saw just how many people were gathered in the park, my steps faltered.  It was weird.  I’d had no crowd anxiety at the few concerts I’d managed to get to, but this made me hesitate.  Maybe it was because at concerts I was surrounded by fellow metalheads and felt safe there.  Even when I didn’t know them personally we were already bonded through the music and shared love of the same band.  That connection and feelings of belonging and community weren’t present here at the park.  I’d barely stopped walking when I felt James’s arm drape over my shoulders and pull me in close to him.  I looked up at him even as I leaned against him and wrapped an arm around his waist.  Instead of the irritation or other negative emotions I had expected to see in his face and eyes there was nothing but understanding, patience, and reassurance.  “We’ve got this, babe” he murmured, giving me a squeeze.  I smiled up at him and gave his waist a squeeze as my heart flipped in my chest at the endearment and his embrace.  Then we entered the park together.

Once the initial anxiety had dissipated I was able to relax and enjoy the afternoon.  James insisted on paying for everything no matter how much I protested and reminded him I had my own money.  He countered that it was the gentlemanly thing to do.  Having no answer to that, I gave up trying to prevent him from doing it.  What was even more surprising to me was that he didn’t end up mobbed by fans.  I was sure at least some people recognized him - especially with his tattoos so readily visible and recognizable - no one approached for autographs or photos or anything.  With as at ease as he was, I could only be happy for him that he could still go out in public and do normal things like anyone else.  

We both lost most of the carnival games we played, but James had a decent win at one of them and insisted I pick out the prize since he intended for me to keep it anyway.  I chose the plush possum - about the size of a housecat - as soon as I spotted it.  I tucked it into the tote bag I was carrying, positioning it so the fuzzy head was sticking up out of the top.  “So he can see everything going on” I joked, making James laugh.  

As night fell we found ourselves at the edge of the grassy area that had been set aside for fireworks viewing.  With the setting sun, the warmth from the day seeped away and left everything on the chillier side.  Enough that it made me glad for the two blankets we’d brought… one to sit on, and one to cover up with.  We ended up with him using the tote bag as a pillow, and me - at his insistence - using his shoulder as a pillow.  Not that I minded, of course.  His arm wrapped around me and kept me close beside his warm solidness.  Without thinking about it, I rolled onto my side and snuggled closer with an arm over his waist.  I felt him stiffen for a second and panicked that I’d overstepped, but then I felt him relax and his arm tightened around me in a brief squeeze.  “Comfy?” he asked playfully, his voice low enough only I could hear what he said.

I shifted my head to look at him and my heart skipped at how close his face was to mine.  It was difficult to see much in the darkness but I could make out the amused quirk of his lips.  “Very much so… babe” I replied just as softly and playfully, pointedly tossing his earlier endearment back at him.

James let out a quiet bark of a laugh.  “Shit.  And here I thought I’d gotten away with that” he joked, the tip of his nose brushing against mine.  I knew he could feel my racing heart but he said nothing about it.

“Mmm… you kinda did, in a way” I murmured, rubbing my nose against his in turn.  “Clearly I didn’t mind you calling me that since I didn’t raise any protest.  And I certainly wouldn’t be laying like this with you right now” I pointed out even as I felt him roll onto his side facing me.  He murmured a quiet agreement, his lips close enough to mine I could feel his breath as he spoke.  Then his lips were on mine, tentative and testing at first then with more confidence and assurance when I responded eagerly and kissed him back.  A soft moan left my throat and my leg slid over his hip, my own hips pressing against him.  I felt the rumble of his moan too and his strong hand spread over the curve of my ass, pulling me even more tightly against him.  Tight enough I could feel his hard cock through his jeans.  I rolled my hips against his and deepened the kiss.

Carefully, James slid my dress up over my hips to my waist and my own hand tugged his jeans zipper down, fingers delving into the fabric to free his length.  I could feel exactly how thick he was too, my hand wrapping around him and stroking until his hand gently took hold of my wrist.  “Gonna bust like a virgin boy if you keep that up” he growled softly in my ear.  “And I wanna be in you when I bust” he added with a nip that made me whimper in pleasure as much as his words did.  I let him take control again, his long fingers tugging my panties to the side and guiding his tip through my slick folds.  “Holy fuck you’re soaked” he murmured as he sank into me.  I made a noise of need, and he quickly smothered the sound with another searing kiss as his hips slowly rolled and he thrust into and out of me.

The way he filled me was absolute perfection, and each drag and push of his cock would have had me moaning loud enough for us to be caught even over the noise from the fireworks show starting had he not kept his mouth on mine and my tongue busy with his.  It was bliss and torture at the same time that he kept his pace steady, his movements small but intense so we could both finish but hopefully not have our activities noticed.  “James… getting close” I murmured against his lips, my pussy fluttering around his cock as he brought me closer to my peak.

“Good.  Cum for me, my love.  Cum all over this cock” he murmured back.  The command in his tone, him calling me his love, and the way he was fucking me sent me over the edge.  He kissed me hard to keep my moans muffled, grunting softly and bucking into me hard as he followed me over that edge, his hot seed shooting deep into me and filling me to the brim.  We lay there in each others’ arms after, his cock still buried inside me, kissing slowly and languidly for a short while.  But then the finale of the fireworks happened and we knew our cover would be up soon.  He withdrew from me and tugged my panties back into place before his cum could leak out onto my thighs.  Then he kissed me once more and rolled onto his back to tuck his cock back into his pants and zip up.  We pulled our arms out from under the blanket to make everything look innocent just in time for the end of the display and the other attendees to start packing up to go home.

“What did you two think of the show?” a man around my age with a woman who looked to be about the same age at his side asked us as James helped me to my feet and we started folding up the blankets and gathering our things by the light of cell phone flashlights.  James and I exchanged a mischievous look and grinned.

“It was great” I replied, my voice even.  “Best display I’ve ever seen” I added.

“I was just telling my girlfriend how much better the show was this year than last year” James added, his eyes and smile full of mischief.  I felt my cheeks heat but I grinned back and made a comment about how I was glad to have been part of it.  Warmth blossomed in my chest at him declaring me his girlfriend.  The other couple seemed a little surprised but continued the conversation and didn’t seem to be judging either James or I over the obvious age gap between us.  I couldn’t tell if they knew who James was and accepted it as a general celebrity thing or if they were just chill like that.  Either way worked for me.

James draped his arm over my shoulders again and I put my arm around his waist as we walked back to the parking lot, each of us carrying things as we had done coming in.  His cum slowly leaked out of my hole and soaked my panties as we walked.  When we got to the vehicle, I reached for one of the blankets to put on my seat for the drive home.  He raised an eyebrow in question.  “If I don’t put down a barrier, I’m going to leave a wet patch on your seat from your cum soaking through my clothes” I said bluntly, leaning in close.  He smirked at me and held me close with his hands on my hips.  My arms went around his neck and he kissed me gently.

“Mmm… worth it though” he teased, making my cheeks heat again.  He kissed me once more and gave my ass a double-handed squeeze.  “Now let’s get home so we can get fully naked.  I wanna taste your pussy before I fuck you properly and have you screaming my name while I fill you with my cum again” he growled softly in my ear.  I shivered and made a needy sound that brought a grin to his lips.  When he released me and went to the driver side with long strides, I wasted no time getting into the vehicle and closing the door, buckling my seatbelt.  My panties were wet with more than just James’s cum, and I was eager for not just the rest of the night with him but the rest of our lives together.  I knew, somehow, that we belonged only to each other now.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda Under Cut

Annabeth Chase

I feel like fandom is kinda split on her with percabeth shippers loving her but any m/m shipper I've seen does not like her, really. She is my bae tho <3

Percabeth antis grind my gears so much because they never hate Percy, nono, even though he's arguably done more questionable stuff than Annabeth. Not everyone who hates her is doing so because of a mlm ship— the Perachel stans claim that Annabeth is a misogynist. However, basically everyone that isn't trying to ship her boyfriend with Rachel is trying to ship him with Jason, Nico, or her old friend Luke. They make her out to be this horrible abusive girlboss(derogatory) that she's simply... not. She doesn't insult Percy for having ADHD just because she's highly intelligent. She doesn't physically abuse him, and doesn't lay a finger on him outside of training. She's really devoted to him in a non-anti-feminist way. They just hate her for 'getting in the way' of Nico's convoluted attraction to Percy, or Jason's close friendship with him, or Luke's rivalry with him. But those relationships all flourish the way they were intended by the author: non-romantically. It's not Annabeth's fault for being intelligent or capable or jokingly snide or determined or any of those non-stereotypically-feminine qualities. She's just out here existing and people hate her for not being a man. Sorry for the rant.

She's canonically in a relationship with Percy Jackson for most of the books they're in, but he often gets paired in canon with other male characters, such as Nico di Angelo or Jason Grace. In fan fiction (especially yaoi focused ones) she's characterized as being a stuck up know it all, but she gets into plenty of shenanigans in canon and can be pretty goofy and sweet!

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

[lavender-actualy-posts-shit]

My stickers have arrived!!

I kinda forgot I got these.. hhh

Thank you @ginganthropy for the Gegg and Codeflippa!!! They’re now next to my Juanaflippa collectible :3

[obnebulant-mogai]

ADHD Adjacent flag, and ADHD + BPD adjacent flag! These are left vague so anyone who has, is questioning, or displays traits of the disorder(s) may use it! These were made with people who have trouble pinpointing neurodivergencies and are NOT for transid supporters.

[ID: Two images. The first is a flag with seven equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are maroon, bright red, light orange, bright yellow, bright lime green, teal blue, and light ocean blue. In the center of the flag, there is a white ADHD symbol; the symbol is the outline of a butterfly. The second image is a flag with eight equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are lavender purple, pale purple blue, sky blue, banana yellow, pastel orange, red, maroon, and dark maroon. In the center of the flag there is a symbol. The symbol consists of the ADHD symbol and the BPD symbol placed on top of each other. Each symbol is half black and half white, but the halves are reversed. End ID.]

Flags by me. Colorpicked from various ADHD and BPD flags. Requested by users on the LGBTQ wiki discord!

Flags without symbols below:

[ID: Two images. The first is a flag with seven equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are maroon, bright red, light orange, bright yellow, bright lime green, teal blue, and light ocean blue. The second image is a flag with eight equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are lavender purple, pale purple blue, sky blue, banana yellow, pastel orange, red, maroon, and dark maroon. End ID.]

[beanghostprincess]

I Gift ye with some silly cross guild concepts:

• Buggy with autism and ADHD, with a special interest in explosives, weapons, chemistry, and who uses the circus performances as stimming.

• Mihawk who is Not Neurotypical At All being faced with the antithesis of his whole vibe and somehow being roped into other stims

• (Buggy absolutely makes a swing with silks, and they cuddle in is Often. Ritchie is a living weighted blanket AND HE PURRS)

• Crocodile walks into this not expecting to start a side hustle making stim toys but here we are.

• dadodile theory where Luffy shows up and suddenly oh the stim toy stock is sold out, neat :))

• Buggy getting carried like a kitten by his Big Boyfriends

• polyamorous fighting bc someone's hair oil smells too strong or this brand of soap is Icky or smth so very domestic and sweet and all three end up pausing bc Damn. They're pirates and yet fighting over rose vs lavender scents or what detergent is best.

• sometimes after hours when everyone is asleep, Buggy will do small performances and tries to teach some tricks to the other's. Mihawk offers gardening lessons, and Croc likes teaching them old games from Alabasta when he was a child. Results are.... mixed.

• Buggy oftentimes make azidoazide aside completely on purpose bc Big BOOM Go Brr.

• people think Croc and Hawk have the braincell, but secretly none of them do. They're all a special brand of Absolutely Unhinged.

• Mihawk has a bad tendency to just... bite his loved ones like a cat.

• Crocodile would sooner cut off his other hand than admit to being needy. (No, he totally doesn't just yank his victim of the hour into his lap and then hold them in place with his hook until he's got his cuddle fix, shut up-)

• Buggy is both very smart and very stupid. Bro is a chemist, a weapons maker, a dealer, runs numerous businesses, heads an information network, grew up on the Pirate king's ship with training from the best of the best, could probably stage a world wide coup d'etat if he tried, but still fights against the impulse to swallow a muggy ball Just Because. Smart of Brain, Dumb of Ass.

((You can probably tell Buggy is my favorite but shhhhh let the Guild cook- /hj))

Okay, no, these are all amazing. And don't worry because Buggy is my favorite too, I get it.

They're all just a trio of neurodivergent men who think they can rule the world but actually they're oversensitive and also pretty dumb sometimes. I love their poly relationship so damn much. It gives me life.

[daveyfvckingjacobs]

What colour do you think the last binding squad would dye their hair if they had access to the modern hair dye catalogue? Which ones would have vibrant fashion colours? What would their general attitudes towards hair dye be? hc’s about all things hair dye, basically!

oh now we’re asking the real questions and I am absolutely qualified to talk about this let’s go

immediately violet’s hair changes colour on the regular, and she mostly gravitates towards cool colours (purples, blues, greens etc). I think she’d play around with different streaks and ombré among her natural blonde as opposed to a full head dyed, done at two in the morning w maud’s eager assistance or properly at a salon. it depends on her mood. she has regular mishaps w colours (me too girl) and is in general very over the top and expressive through it. everyone else has stopped being surprised when she’s green even though she was definitely lavender last week

she also helps maud dye hers, equally at two am. I can’t decide if maud would do full, bright colours or just make herself orange, red and ginger, more subtle earth tones that still definitely look unnatural. she’s worse w impulsivity than violet when it comes to it tho and they encourage each other something horrible

we all know alan wouldn’t touch it w a ten foot pole, but he’s been convinced to use those very semi permanent hair chalk things to add colour for special occasions. he endured being made a full rainbow for pride and jack let violet put a little bit of blue, purple, and pink in his for the same thing. that’s the most either of them will ever do no matter how much they get pestered

robin with bright, bubblegum pink. no more notes to add there (he didn’t intend to make it pink, but bleached it in a moment of adhd insanity, hated it and fixed it w the most neon dye he could find). it fades into a pastel shade that looks really nice, and he’s the only one who’s able to keep the same colour long enough for it to fade

edwin is w alan and jack in the Absolutely Not department but he’s more boring and won’t let violet near him with her chalks either because he hates the feel of things in his hair like that. he thinks robins pink is very charming though

[chaos-and-sparkles]

I yearn to talk about my Dracula!Holmes au, and the universe has seen fit to give me free will and internet access, so talk i shall.

Listen. Hear me out just hear me out.

We literally have Johnathan motherfucking Harker whose written POV we read Dracula from for like a solid half of the book, right. Well, no more, he's John Watson now babeyyy, a retired army man now gainfully employed as a lawyer who's off overseas to act as estate agent to the strange and eccentric client who has expressed interest in moving to foggy London... Count Holmes! [insert jazz hands]

Instead of being Evil(tm) and plotting to take over London or whatever, my guy is just Autistic. Also riddled with ADHD and in desperate need of some enrichment in he goddamn enclosure. He will also in fact be trans, because. Of course. Vampirism as a metaphor for queerness and the social ostracization that follows as a punishment and having inherently queer narratives intertwined in them etc etc... anyhow! Count Sherlock Holmes, vampire detective!!!

(I do also want him to be aroace, or aroacespec at least, but I'm willing to negotiate for the Johnlock and the Johnlock alone.)

Mina Harker here is of course the one and only Mary Morstan, although it is clearly a lavender marriage, because we aren't cowards in this household and so Mary gets to be gay with her Lucy equivalent here, just as god intended. I haven't decided who her Lucy equivalent will be yet but this au is still young (technically I've been going insane about it in my mind for like a month or two but whatever) and there's no reason we can't make up an OC for her Lucy.

John Watson, resident gay doctor lawyer, of course, is smart enough to realize the enigmatic Count Holmes' vampiric secret within like one adventure, but he sure is going to have a slow burn of realizing just how gay he is for said enigmatic Count Holmes. We, of course, get to witness this tooth rotting bullshit firsthand as we read his diary entries and some later letters to Mary.

And instead of being one long gothic horror narrative, it's just adventure of the week with your friendly neighborhood crime solving vampire, the various other mythical creatures who do said crimes, and Just Some Guy.

Just, every Sherlock Holmes adventure adapted into this au with other supernatural elements. The guy from the Red Headed League is a local villager being bamboozled by a leprechaun, the Silver Blaze thing is about a kelpie. Everyone including Sherlock was operating on the assumption that Irene Adler was a siren, but actually she was just a regular human, and instead of unlearning misogyny (bc I don't see trans vampire Sherlock living so long through changing times and society and being sexist), Sherlock has to learn not to underestimate the intelligence of humans.

Also, he's just really excited to have this new human, John, living in his castle. So curious, too, about humans, he has sequestered himself from them for such a long time and John seems like a very interesting one. He's probably the first friend Sherlock has had in a long time, too.

Also. Instead of being warded off or harmed by garlic, to Sherlock, garlic is just the vampire version of cocaine. He just gets high as fuck off garlic. Could live on the stuff. And the reason people think he's warded off by garlic is just because he was seen getting high off his ass, turning into a bat, and flying away in loop de loops upon consuming garlic one (1) time. And everyone thought it's his weakness. And he never bothered correcting them bc Why Would He. He's basically getting free cocaine left and right from villagers who are scared/wary of the supernatural Count Holmes and only go to him when there's no other option, and it's no bother to leave people he's not investigating alone.

I genuinely do think cocaine!garlic addicted Sherlock has so much comedic potential, it really is so beloved to me. Just imagine, if you will, an extremely put-upon John Watson caring for Batlock who has gotten high off his ass and refuses to stop flying into his own antique chandelier.

I was also thinking that it would be funny to have Mrs. Hudson and Mrs. Turner in place of Dracula's sexy vampire roommates or whatever those three were lmao (I couldn't think of a third character, sorry)

Also. Obviously. Van Helsing has got to be Moriarty, by virtue of opposition. I do think their whole deal has a lot of potential to be very funny and entertaining also. I am also considering it might be fun to have Lucy's other suitors be the Scotland Yarders, like Lestrade, Gregson and what have you, but that risks missing out on the very fun possible dynamic of "Sherlock being exasperated with the dumbass out of their depth Yarders he keeps helping" raised to like the hundredth degree so. I honestly would like people's thoughts on that.

Anyway so YES, Dracula au please and thank you. Maybe with endgame QPR Johnlock? Yes? Please? Queerplatonic husbands Johnlock is my shit.

In conclusion: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK <3