#lately i’ve felt so :////
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For my birthday evening I am trying a live resin edible for the first time (it was disgusting. let’s see how I feel in two or three hours.) and watching a western (don’t know which one yet, taking suggestions) and having a slice of my birthday cake.
I wanted to go to the farmer’s market today and spend some of my birthday money but I felt horrible so this is yet another birthday I’m spending in bed. But! Hopefully a good one anyway.
#substances /#I’ve felt so sick lately that I have had no desire to eat#ZERO.#maybe I’ll put my birthday money towards buying dinner later
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HAPPY LONDON N1 YALL!!! i can just feel this run of shows is going to be CRAZY. also if you haven’t realized hi it’s me juli titsthedamnseason and yes even under yet another new url i am hosting the surprise song game! the rules are simple: leave your guesses in the tags or replies and if you’re right i will give you a shoutout <3
i’m personally about to give the worst guesses ever but i already submitted them to mastermind so i feel like i have to stick with it. so im going imgonnagetyouback / better than revenge and robin / never grow up i definitely should be going with a london song or the black dog but hey. whatever
#i’ve won a lot lately anyway i can take a back seat now#also i really hope when she does robin it’s just by itself tbh#i’m such a mashup hater i’m sorry i don’t know why im like this#when i watch the performances they’re always amazing i don’t know why i insist on this negative mindset#I JUST WANT EACH SONG TO HAVE ITS MOMENT OKAY#also if now is when she plays the albatross and i don’t guess it that will be a double sting#mine#taylor swift#surprise song game#anyway i’m literally THRILLED to hear so long london on piano at some point in the next few days#i just hope it isn’t tomorrow because i AM a truther#i just felt these guesses in my bones and if she doesn’t play so long london n1 i plan on guessing it every night until she does#as well as the black dog#london boy….idk about that one though haha i guess we’ll see#also yes both my guesses are ttpd / speak now mashups. i didn’t plan this but alas
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#DAY 31!!!!!!!!!#this was SO MUCH fun#but man am I glad to be done haha#sorry I was late#I’m sick and potentially have a bed bug problem#and my paranoia is through the roof now 😵💫#someone came over to my house to hang out and then they discovered today they have bedbugs so now idk if I have them#I don’t mess around with bed bugs#I’ve had them before when I lived with my parents and I felt as empty as Hyrule here#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu fanart#lu hyrule#whumptober 2023#whumptober
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I’ve been thinking about 1x03 of The Last of Us and I think why it kicked so many of us right in the heart so hard is because, fundamentally, it said “hey, you’re not going to change this incredibly traumatic forever-altered world you’re in. You - as one person- cannot do that. It is the single most important thing to live and love and build things anyway, you cannot put those things off until the world goes back to normal because it won’t, ever, but there’s room for strawberries here, in this version of this world.”
I think that’s why this particular story doesn’t feel exhausting or entrapping in the way most apocalypse media does in a world that still very much dealing with March of 2020.
#the last of us#the last of us spoilers#I’m probably not as articulate as I could be about this but I’ve been#trying to figure out why this story felt so cathartic when apocalypse shows mostly zap my energy lately
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like five commissions would solve so many of my problems right now …. 🌀you want to commission me🌀…. 🌀you want to look at my pinned post and you want to commission me sooooo bad🌀…….
a few recent commissions ⬇️
been loving leaning into more illustration/poster work and would love to do more!!
#i’m like out of options LOL#like everyone else i’ve been applying to probably hundreds of jobs and like everyone else i can’t get SHIT#my options are 1) stay out here and suffer 2) beg my parents to help me move home and REALLY truly suffer (this one isn’t really an option)#or like 3) go lay in the dirt indefinitely idk i’m in over my head and i made a mistake moving but it’s too late to back out!#going home wouldn’t be good for anyone least of all me!#idk i feel like everyone is judging me for thinking i had it good then falling flat on my face anyways#i feel like it was some kind of sick joke that i finally for once felt stable and happy just to get it yanked away from me#and be worse off than before#sorry i’m really emotional because i’ve been going through it so hard for so long and i’m really exhausted#i hate getting on here and begging for work but idk what else to do right now#mine#arty art
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Right before I ate a bunch of chicken nuggets 💕🐷
#me#I’ve been feeling so small lately and it’s made me hate all the recent photos I’ve taken but these felt cute 🥰
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Very messy scribble of a comic because they were on my mind (I doubt I’ll ever clean it up so I’m just posting it now so it doesn’t rot in my procreate files LOL)
#genzen#zengen#demon slayer#genya shinazugawa#zenitsu agatsuma#kimetsu no yaiba#genya x zenitsu#tanjirou kamado#tanjiro kamado#I’ve been feeling a very special type of sad lately so I wanted to kinda project that a little bit on my silly guys#I don’t often think about them in universe it’s always usually just modern au#I like to think that they were on good terms during hashira training#genya apologized for hitting him after they met up again from sanemis training#they spoke a little bit to each other at that point but after that it was mostly just#existing together during group hang outs#the whole group was preexisting already#genya just kinda would stand back and silently watch them have fun and banter#he never really felt like he belonged together with all of them#zenitsu also struggles with feeling like he doesn’t deserve to be apart of the group as well and will sometimes sit back with genya#they laugh together at inosuke and sit in a silence of mutual understanding#he doesn’t really show it but zenitsu is genuinely very torn up about hearing genya death#he missed his chance to be friends with the one guy he had the most in common with#he never got to see the soft side tanjirou would tell him about#if only they could’ve met before everything turned bad#if only they could’ve met in a world without demons#maybe they wouldn’t have turned out so bad if they had each other#maybe he would still be here if he had someone#zenitsu will forever beat himself up that someone as bad as him died when he himself lived#he didn’t deserve his second chance at life just as much as genya didn’t
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#personal#dsmp#dreamlessart#awesamdude#c!sam#c!tommy#c!hannah#c!boomer#not my usual lineart style but was fun#boomer’s design in this is a placeholder#I’ve literally never drawn him before#but I always felt like his character had so much potential in Sam’s story#especially with the clone Sam ending#Sam clones are so underutilized#been thinking about it a lot lately#current running theory is that the clones are technically cyborgs#a mix of asexually reproducing and therefore identical creepers as the organic base#with intense redstone engineering#EDIT#I rewatched the Sam and Phil finale#I always forget how bs the canon worldbuilding is
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sometimes i feel little sad it took me nearly 23 years to fully realize that i’m a trans guy for so many reasons but also. i’m just so so happy to have realized it at all, yknow? like. idk. i just spent so much of my life hating myself and being uncomfortable with some aspect of basically every facet of myself and my identity and for the first time in my life… i actually don’t really feel like that anymore. i mean, yes, the self esteem issues haven’t gone away and yes im still very uncomfortable with myself and my body sometimes (shoutout dysphoria) but like. the sudden increase in comfortability in my body? the way i dont just want to strive to take up as little space as possible anymore? the way i get excited to put on clothes that affirm how i feel rather than hide my entire self? the nervous excitement i feel at the prospect of hopefully starting t soon? like holy fuck… i feel like im actually living my life a little instead of just surviving for the first time ever and it’s just… very very cool
#slightly inebriated rambling lol i’m just… having such gender thoughts#mentally i am still so so unwell and the dysphoria is also worse than ever lately but i am still so fucking happy and grateful to be me#sometimes#i love being a trans guy#i love being a boy#i love discovering who i am more and more every day#like who i actually am#bc for so long i’ve felt like no matter what i couldn’t quite figure out who i was#and idk… if nothing else i’m really realizing that i truly can be whoever i want and it’s okay for me to try new styles#and interests and hobbies and stuff#and identities ofc#i’ve literally identified as a lesbian since i was like 13 and more or less p much never gone back#and suddenly i’m transmasc and questioning potential bisexuality?? crazy#life really does go on huh#transgender#trans#trans pride#transgender pride#tboy#tboy swag#trans masc#trans community#transblr#ftm#ftm trans#transmasculine#trans guy#trans joy#trans positivity#queer
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Idk why but I find it kinda funny when people lump UT/DR in with rpgmaker — especially horror — games. Like I get why they do it, they’re pixelated games and sometimes the vibes do get a little similar, especially with the scarier parts of the games but. First of all bestie these are GameMaker Studio games—
#this wasn’t prompted by anything that just happened btw#but I’ve seen people call them rpgmaker games before and I ALWAYS feel the itch to correct them#but I refrain because I’m sure there are others doing the same#also I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that undertale was heavily inspired by classic rpgmaker games#especially yume nikki#not only that but undertale went on to inspire so many other games — some of which WERE developed with rpgmaker#like Omori for example!#so the games do exist in very close proximity to all these rpgmaker games#it’s just that. well. it’s gamemaker studio. lol#idk. it’s late and I felt like airing this thought out#boy do I love my em-dashes
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Sigh I love my purple haired poison users
They don’t show up until way later in the story, but I felt like drawing them so I’ll talk a little about their quirks
Fun fact: He and Kokoro mitsume (from SDRA2) are the only ones to wear lab coats with their hero outfits. Also Charles’ goggles has a filter that changes the color of blood so that he doesn’t freak out whenever he sees it. Everyone found this out the hard way when he first saw Veronika’s quirk in action (her quirk is blood manipulation).
Idk if her hero outfit will stay the same, but I like it for now. Her hair is hard to draw though.
Also @trashrat420 here ya go!
You asked me to tag you the next time I posted something like this.
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#charles cuevas#danganronpa (he)artless deceit#drhd#akira hayasaka#mha au#yeah I just felt like drawing these two#it’s gonna be long before I finish the first and second chapters of the comic#and I know that the drdt cast and the drhd cast won’t show up until way later in the story#so I figured I’d at least talk about their quirks#I may make a mini comic involving these two at some point#and that comic may or may not involve whit and teruko and tomoya#I’ve had like no time for things lately though
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So we’re all in agreement that Gregory is innocent and is best friends with Cassie, okay? Okay!
#pippi art#cassie fnaf#cassie fanart#cassie security breach#gregory fnaf#gregory fanart#gregory security breach#they’re best friends! and Cassie does Gregory’s makeup!!! also it’s so smudged because he kept moving during the first half#I love them. they are literally my children#also I firmly believe Gregory is innocent and I cannot wait for Cassie to beat the shit out of the mimic#matching friendship bracelets!!#also sorry I was gone so long and haven’t posted any art lately…I’ve had a bit of burnout n#and nothing I felt no art that I made was good enough to post so…my bad guys ^^;#but hopefully I can post more art soon! :D#but I hope you all enjoy my silly little drawing :>
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The past few days <3
#I turned 23 last Wednesday and my mum came to visit 🥹❤️#it felt like all my worries went away and they came back yesterday because she left :(#I’ve been feeling like a slump lately and she made it feel a little better#but also I’ve been in a reflective mood lately …. so grateful and thankful to have my family and friends in my life#p
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
#or maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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Chat I miss them so much to the point where if I talked about it yall would have to put me down at the vet
#I’ve been so busy drawing nothing but Christmas gifts for my friends lately#so it felt really nice to draw something for myself after all that 😭#but WAHHHHHH I won’t ramble in detail here but I miss them sm and it’s getting to me 💔💔💔💔#splatoon#splatoon 3#agent 4#Marie#cuttlefish family#also is this the first time yall get to see how I draw Marie now cus I think it is
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got the sketch back for aizawa comm and immediately burst into tears LMAOOO
#I know I’ve been beating this horse lately but#despite starting back in 2020 as an mha blog.#despite my og big love being aizawa#I’ve never gotten a comm with him#never did any sort of self shipping cause like I felt#I don’t know. I just felt like I couldn’t#and I feel like…#this is gonna sound so god damn dramatic but whatever we’re all here on this site#I feel like I’m healing something in myself#I think. perhaps. there was a lot of pain and trauma in 2020-2021#like pandemic and social and then here#and I think I am finally possibly processing correctly#anyway yeah feelings
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