#like pandemic and social and then here
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got the sketch back for aizawa comm and immediately burst into tears LMAOOO
#I know I’ve been beating this horse lately but#despite starting back in 2020 as an mha blog.#despite my og big love being aizawa#I’ve never gotten a comm with him#never did any sort of self shipping cause like I felt#I don’t know. I just felt like I couldn’t#and I feel like…#this is gonna sound so god damn dramatic but whatever we’re all here on this site#I feel like I’m healing something in myself#I think. perhaps. there was a lot of pain and trauma in 2020-2021#like pandemic and social and then here#and I think I am finally possibly processing correctly#anyway yeah feelings
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hey girl um my executive dysfunction is so bad rn i wish i could make this up😂🤣
#cupid.exe#like i can genuially not do things untill its like rlly late#i need to stop listening to music#or maybe its just my social media addiction#aguguhg it just feels like i dont have my own space n ppl r watching me yknow#i cant rlly close my door cuz 1 my parents dont rlly do that anyway and 2 my cats litter box is in here#and i cant rlly do anything else cuz its like..... its my sisters room dude i cant touch anything itd feel werid#aughuhuaugahguhg i need to move out so badly#i cant even . like continue to read a fanfic cuz id forget in the beggining n continue to do whatever#i was going to cook some chicken strips but i held it off so much my sister got home and cooked them instead#ever since the pandemic ive gotten 10x lazier omfgggggggg#im such a loser like unironically help me
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a boye whom'st loves to attack paper balls
#cats#nhgnhmmm.. yommy... paper favorite food#(I do not actually let him eat paper)#ALSO I'm still working on doing the poll adventure thing I've just had a lot going on. as usual. It's actually harder than#I initially thought to regularly find time to do a quick ms paint sketch and a small writing blurb#it's like even though it doesn't take extremely long it's still one of those things that is hard to carve out a little portion of the day#to do if your day is set up in a way not conducive to portion carving#BUT .. at least I have posted many drafts#as usual.. my style of like.. post nothing for 3 weeks then randomly post 25 things at once#NO idea why my brain works that way. it just does. it's easier#even though I know it's worse in terms of like. social media#the algorithms in most places prefer consistent steady uploads over time. not jarringly wavering between absence and hyper presence#then absence again. but .. alas...#Good to clear out a few drafts once in a while anyway. And I do really want to get back to scullptures and costumes. I stopped as much for#a while due to the pandemic (can't go to the bins anymore to get new supplies for costumes and stuff) as well as my worsened#health things/lack of energy and also my chest injury (so repetitive movements with my arms such as sitting in the same#position sculpting for 4 hours or changing clothes multiple times in quick succession etc. could flare it up) but obviously#none of those things are going to get better any time soon. so I should probably just try to do it here and there anyway. It's still not#safe to go to the bins. still having muscle problems. still low energy. But I could make it work maybe. I just feel bad having gotten out#of the habit when it is really fun stuff that I enjoy. Some things just get more difficult for me over time#But even like 3 sculptures and 10 costumes a year is better than 0 of any of those things. So. eh#I'm also just trying to clear out pictures still. My spring cleaning (which I do at the start of every new year instead of actual spring)#was kind of delayed this year due to me feeling sick and everything so even late into april I'm still working on the side at like orgnazing#all of the files on my computer. deleting things and backing up whatever I want to keep. clearing out photos.#editing and drafting (and maybe one day posting) old stuff form a while ago. etc. etc.#So any progress is good progress. I suppose.#ANYWAY.... a son... he gets very excited everytime he hears anyone anywhere crinkle up a piece of paper
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ppl on tiktok crying, screaming, throwing up about the latest european election results as if jewish ppl haven’t been talking about rising antisemitism for the past few months plus literally every other minority yelling at the top of their lungs about the hot mess that is the european social landscape for YEARS now.. mhhkay :)
#european elections#european election results#antisemitism#babe wake up f*scism is on the rise#then again#it’s always been there never really left#but take this with a grain of salt coming from me#like i come from italy#there was never anything like denazification over there#i’ve been dealing with ppl calling for those like me and other minorities to get burned alive or left to drown since i was a kid#so uh really can’t say i’m surprised here#haha a global pandemic economic recession amidst rising social divide plus rising antisemitism haha haven’t seen THAT ONE before :)#certainly haven’t seen that anywhere else HAHA :)))#/s
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#the news is so fucking horrible#my therapist told me a long time ago that I should take a step back from social media#like a year or two before the pandemic#bc i was in a state of having constant panic attacks that would trigger throat spasms that made it difficult to breath or swallow#anyway I get triggered by constant bad news bc of my shitty nervous system#but it’s calmed down enough where I felt safe coming back to at least tumblr#but god this past week with everything that’s happening in Gaza#me and my partner have been losing it#I don’t understand how we can watch the US gov and Israelí gov literally team up to steamroll an entire people in the span of a few weeks#and I don’t understand why some people find it appropriate to nitpick who’s more oppressed here#like guys hear me out#this might sound crazy#but I think the people trapped in occupied territory currently being bombed and raided rn don’t care about your identity politics#when ppl say that their government are going to another country to /eradicate evil/ in order to prevent another holocaust from happening#um#it’s horrifying#bc capitalism/fascism/hate has justified genocide#via the story of /we have a right to defend ourselves/#why is it so easy to dehumanize an entire group of people#how did it get to this point?#and tbh I don’t care about the history#this is about how people agree to go to war bc it’s okay if /they/ are the ones doing the oppressing#how you can say /innocent people in Gaza are dying/ and someone else can respond with /it’s not Israel’s problem bc hamas is a terrorist/#how can you sit there and comfort yourself with this hollow narrative when infrastructure is being destroyed via US funded bombs#their water supply cut their bodies catching diseases#a call to denounce the gov for their actions is not an antisemítico stance#people are dying people are dying people are dying and we keep saying never forget but people are still dying#I feel like I’m choking#I pray for the people of Palestine and the land and the olive groves
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so judging by how astonished people are by it every time we explain it to anybody, it seems like my wife and I might really be onto something here
during the pandemic, we invented something we call "astronaut time."
when it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks. one of us is outside the space station and one of us is inside the space station. our radios do not work and we have no way of communicating with each other. we might see each other through the lil porthole windows, but we ignore each other because we both have different things to do.
"astronaut time" is how we get total privacy when we live in the same apartment. I will pretend you don't exist. You will pretend I don't exist. we have a nonverbal, zero-contact signal for when astronaut time is over (usually "I'll draw a smiley-face on the whiteboard in the kitchen when I'm done"). No talking, stay out of each other's line of sight, we are actively avoiding each other, unless you are currently experiencing a medical emergency goodbye.
it has been. a godsend. imagine living with your partner and being able to close every single tab in your brain related to social interaction. no fear of being interrupted by a "hey, quick question--" or "sorry to bother you, but do you know where the scissors are?" or "did you want something to eat, too?" Once or twice a month, we look at each other lovingly, hold hands, and say "baby I think I need some astronaut time tonight," and the other person goes "okay cool. bye! have a nice night!" and nobody's feelings are hurt and we both go and have a lovely evening completely by ourselves.
like idk it's a small thing but it's made our lives so much nicer, so if you and your partner/roommate are both people who sometimes need total privacy in order to recharge, maybe try it
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I joined a discord server thingy. I know 2 people. I am petrified. Halp. I suck at comprehending human interaction over the internet, I say, to the internet.
#discord#i dont even know how to use discord :') nottttttt really anyways#i het thz very sad w/o lots of talking and w/ the pandemic and trying to basically clear my entire house out i have 0 time to meet people#other than embarrassing (endearing????) myself to friendly cashiers (who tell me to stop by and chat again!) and the occ. conversation here#i have not socialed in like. 2 years#hellllllllllllllp#my extroversion has gotten rusty i got used to be taken on weekly trips (read: walks) to the store and endlessly harassing my mother and bsf#about mutual (or not so mutual) fandom things
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how to start reading again
from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.
start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.
don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.
go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.
remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)
analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.
read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.
finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.
try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.
forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.
remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!
stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.
#louisa-gc#academia#studyblr#aesthetic#book#books#reading#read#advice#help#university#study#uni#library#bibliophile#it girl#that girl#habits#booktok#booktube#bookstagram
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The pandemic is not over. I’m immunocompromised and so is my girlfriend. We are in our 20s. We wear masks every time we go out, which is usually to a doctor. I’ve noticed that so many people in the US want to act like the pandemic never happened and the visual of a person wearing a mask makes them recoil. There are people who go so far to discriminate against us because we try to keep safe and that makes them uncomfortable (in a blue state even).
Yesterday at the dentist an old man coughed at us. When I was retrieving my stolen car at a compound the person who had my car told me to not wear my mask. The first day I moved here someone drove up to me in my apartment parking and coughed on me as well.
Before my girlfriend and I moved we were living at her parents in a red state. It was a bad situation and her parents lied to us when they had Covid. We both got it right before we had to leave. We’re still feeling the long term affects in our chronic illnesses.
What we face as disabled people is an onslaught of aggression for our existence because able bodied people are scared to be like us. They tell us we are crazy so they can go about their lives like we don’t exist or the dangers that threaten our well-being don’t exist.
What I’m saying is that I won’t compromise my safety for other’s comfort. I don’t wear masks to shame other people or to make a political statement, I just don’t want to get sick. That’s my business and my right. The world would be safer for disabled people if everyone wore KN95 masks too, and if you decide to wear it I’m grateful. But at the very least I just want people to stop stifling us and the truth. We are still in a pandemic and thousands of people are still dying from Covid. I’m still wearing a mask even if it isolates me socially from others. I have to.
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#i really wish i didn't delete my acc in the beginning of pandemic#cause now most people don't recognise me or care about me or my posts#i have lost alll my followers now i have too little so there is barely an interaction#and the worst is i have lost taylors follow#but i needed to get away from social media because it was not good for me#but i actually didn't need to delete my acc just delete the app#i thought i wouldn't come back but i love it here#esp when it's calm like this since taylor is not explicitly on tumblr and people don't reblog like crazy#anyway just wanted to get it out no one's gonna see this or read this far
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I just now am coming to the realization of how fucked i am socially when i graduate
#im currently in grad school (bs/ms program that also most people i know are doing)#my best friend just told me he's moving a plane ride away after graduation#im staying in the area for a variety of reasons. mainly cuz i like the state and because my (extended) family is here#i fell out of touch with most people i hung out with pre pandemic#im just scared. because i do believe he and i will stay friends but also the distance is vast. and that scares me#we can visit and stuff. maybe plan vacations together. i just am terrified realizing that the social life i expected isn't possible#no weekly board game nights at my place. no living near all my closest friends.#and this is on top of one of my friends living in japan and how hard that makes that relationship
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In photos of 2023’s World Economic Forum- or Davos as it is commonly called, after the Swiss resort town where it annually occurs- you might not notice the HEPA filters. They’re in the background, unobtrusive and unremarked upon, quietly cleansing the air of viruses and bacteria. You wouldn’t know- not unless you asked- that every attendee was PCR tested before entering the forum, or that in the case of a positive test, access was automatically, electronically, revoked. And if you happened to get a glimpse of the strange blue lights overhead, you could reasonably assume that their glow was simply a modern aesthetic choice, not the calming buzz of cutting edge Far UVC technology- demonstrated to kill microbes in the air.
It’s hard to square this information with the public narrative about COVID, isn’t it? President Biden has called the pandemic “over”. The New York Times recently claimed that “the risk of Covid is similar to that of the flu” in an article about “hold outs” that are annoyingly refusing to accept continual reinfection as their “new normal”. Yet, this week the richest people in the world are taking common sense, easy- but strict- precautions to ensure they don’t catch Covid-19 at Davos.
These common sense, easy precautions include high-quality ventiliation, use of Far UVC-lighting technology, and PCR testing. You’ll also see some masks at Davos, but generally, the testing + air filtration protocol seems to be effective at preventing the kind of super-spreader events most of us are now accustomed to attending.
It seems unlikely to me that a New York Times reporter will follow the super-rich around like David Attenborough on safari, the way one of their employees did when they profiled middle-class maskers last month. I doubt they will write “family members and friends can get a little exasperated by the hyper-concern” about the assembled Prime Ministers, Presidents and CEOs in Switzerland. After all, these are important people. The kind of people who merit high-quality ventilation. The kind of people who deserve accurate tests.
Why is the media so hellbent on portraying simple, scientifically proven measures like high-quality ventilation as ridiculous and unnecessary as hundreds of people continue to die daily here in the US?
Why is the public accepting a “new normal” where we are expected to get infected over and over and over again, at work events with zero precautions, on airplanes with no masks, and at social dinners trying to approximate our 2019 normal?
We deserve better. We deserve to be #DavosSafe as the hashtag going around on twitter puts it. Your children deserve to be treated with the care that world leaders are treating each other. Your family deserves to be protected from the disease which is still- unlike the flu- the third leading cause of death in the US. We don’t deserve to be shoved back into poorly ventilated workplaces while our politicians and press assure us that only crazy people would demand to breathe clean air.
Clean water and clean food are rights we fought for; we have regulatory bodies that ensure we aren’t exposed to pathogens via our water supply nor our food. In 1854, John Snow famously conducted his Broad Street Pump study in London and demonstrated that cholera was water-bourne; however, it took decades for our public policy to catch up with our scientific knowledge.
A public health case study published by the NBCI describes the years that followed:
The first use of chlorine as a disinfectant for water facilities was in 1897 in England. The first use of this method for municipal water facilities in the United States was in Jersey City, New Jersey, and Chicago, Illinois, in 1915. Other cities followed and the use of chlorination as standard treatment for water disinfection rapidly grew. During the 20th century, death rates from waterborne diseases decreased significantly, and although other additional factors contributed to the general improvements in health (such as sanitation, improved quality of life, and nutrition), the improvement of water quality was, without doubt, a major reason.
Forty-three years passed from the initial demonstration that pathogens were being spread via water, and public action and regulation to halt disease.
Can you imagine, in the 1890s, being somebody who argued against cleaning the water?
Can you imagine, in those years of plentiful cholera, calling the people who demanded shit-free water “hold outs”?
One thing COVID realists are accused of is being “doomsayers” and “fearmongers,” so let me share a dose of optimism about the future with you. When we choose- whenever we choose- to get COVID under control, there’s an exciting new world awaiting us. One, not only without constant COVID reinfection, but where our kids can grow up free of colds, flus, RSV, and many other common bugs. And no, contrary to what you may have heard, staying healthy (shockingly enough) is not bad for children!
Once we choose to institute ventilation standards and introduce new technologies like Far UVC lighting- and embrace masking as an easy, kind, and useful tool to control outbreaks- we can bring every nasty airborne pathogen under control the way we did cholera. We didn’t have the science before; now we do. (I mean that quite literally; I can’t recommend enough the linked Wired article cataloguing the long journey to establishing that Covid is, indeed, airborne).
We face a stark choice; down one road, the one with zero infrastructure upgrades, no air quality regulations, and Covid safety only for those who can afford it, you and your family will get Covid this year. You will get Covid next year. You will continue to get Covid over and over and over again, as the health problems - like cardiac damage, viral persistance, and immune system dysfunction- continue to build up. (The billionaires, of course, will not).
Down the other road, we quite simply treat ourselves the way Davos would. We engage with what the science is telling us and we build a safer, better world for our kids. We embrace the lessons this pandemic is teaching us, and let go of things we now know are harming people. We stop clinging desperately to the idea that 2019 will come back if we just get the virus one more time, and we come together to achieve what we’ve been told is impossible: elimination.
The economic elite thrive on our divisiveness and blame casting. They don’t mind that we’re calling each other names, engaging in racial stereotyping, or leaving disabled people to die, so long as we keep their machine running. But we can choose to stop throwing blame at each other, and direct it where it belongs: at the powerful people who’ve left us to suffer, at the politicians who are whipping people into a frenzy over masks instead of over our millions of dead, at the talking heads on TV that work so hard to convince us: you want to get sick. It’s better than being a *weirdo* or a *hold out*.
We needn’t wait 43 years to redirect our energies. France and Belgium have already introduced new air quality standards, and DIY projects to build Corsi-Rosenthal boxes for schools and healthcare settings have popped up around the country. We have the science, we have the technology. All we need now is the political will and the solidarity to truly end the pandemic- the kind of solidarity the super rich always show with one another.
The billionaires at Davos don’t accept continual Covid reinfection. They demand better. It’s time we demand better too.
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i just saw a post about how we just have to "live with" covid and wanting more protections from our government is unreasonable because we'll never wipe it out, it jumps species and is in all sorts of animal populations (like, true ok) so why even try to
and apparently the argument was aimed at people (who I haven't seen in the wild) who are arguing we should still be in lockdown. and i have mixed feelings about the idea of extended lockdown or attenuating isolations; but my main feeling at this point is not that the government should keep us apart but that the government should be trying to make it safer for us to be together
things the government could/should be doing about covid:
we know that ventilation/air movement helps a shitton. we should be incentivizing upgrades to ventilation systems in all public buildings with shit like rebates or tax deductions, while phasing in eventual legal requirements. (and uh. it has occurred to me that the US might actually be doing this sideways by there's currently this decade enormous tax incentives in re energy efficient upgrades for slowing climate change and you know. energy efficient hvac does tend to improve ventilation. extra point to biden here.)
mandatory paid sick leave so workers aren't under social or economic pressure to work when sick
passing out RT-LAMP tests like metrix that actually work instead of the rapid antigen tests that have become less and less reliable as the virus mutates
i don't know how you'd write this law but like 95% or more of computer-based work can be done remotely and companies should not be allowed to force people to return to the office. I know there's people who want to be back in person and I'm not saying they should be forced to stay home but ffs I know of at least two people CLOSE to me who worked remotely before the pandemic and at some point their workplaces tried to tell them they weren't allowed to do that anymore despite the pre-existing contracts. stop canceling remote work for people that want, need, or prefer it.
for that matter, every college lecture that was an online class during covid should still be offered as an online class, there is no reason to force students into auditoriums in person. you got the communications infrastructure up and running, why are you tearing it down. give people the OPTION. it increases accessibility for everyone!
covid vaccine immunity lasts about four months. this should be well-publicized and everyone should be able to re-up for free every four months. "every year, like the flu vaccine" is demonstrably not often enough. actually "for free" isn't good enough start handing out $10 gift cards you will be shocked at how many people who are resistant to the idea of vaccines will fold for $10 a shot
are there already laws on the books about masks in medical settings that some medical professionals are blatantly ignoring because they forgot what best practices were before the plague and they're 'tired of masking'? if not, pass laws. if so, fucking enforce them
oh another incentives for upgrades phasing into legal requirements thing: brass doorknobs and railings over stainless steel or whatever. microbes do not survive on brass surfaces
i mean. i know this one sounds too extreme to a lot of people but. UBI.
most if not all of these measures will prevent or ameliorate other pandemics of different diseases that may arise in the future. and just. generally improve our health and quality of life for other reasons.
I haven't felt safe to go to a concert since 2020. Maybe if I knew a venue was legally required to have ventilation to a certain standard and that none of the ticket takers and ushers were on the job sick to avoid risking loss of paycheck or job, and knew a larger percentage of the crowd had up to date vaccinations--maybe if any or all that, I might ever feel comfortable going to a show again.
wouldn't it be nice if those of us who have been disabled, by covid or other conditions, had accessible remote options but also occasionally felt safe enough to interact with and participate in wider society?
one of the arguments on the post I saw was how isolation was massively psychologically damaging and various strata of society were affected in all sorts of ways, from undersocialized kids to increased depression in--well across the board, I think. and here's the thing: WE KNOW. PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC HEALTH CONDITIONS, LONG COVID OR OTHERWISE, KNOW ISOLATION SUCKS REAL BAD. because we, both for our own health and due to disability ostracism, are still isolating and isolated more than most.
what are you as individuals or societies, what are our governments, doing to help make it safe and accessible to rejoin you????
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Moving vs Fleeing (and what you need to flee)
I was on a call last night with a very reputable LGBTQ+ organization in my state that discussed the difference between moving and fleeing.
Essentially, moving is planned. You get an apartment and a job in another city- hopefully you visit that city to scope it out. Then you move your life. It takes, at minimum, months.
Fleeing is unplanned. Something is happening that is so bad in your area that you have to cut and run. It may not be police at your door. But it might be legislation that prevents you from using restrooms without the risk of being killed or arrested. It might be lack of access to medications and something that makes it illegal to get those medications in a different state. It might be the classification of your life (as someone gay or tans) as a sex crime, and sex crimes being punishable by death (a goal of project 2025).
And, they recommended, get things together before it gets to that point, even if you aren't sure that it will happen, so fleeing is as easy as possible if you need to do it.
Here's what you can do:
Pick a location you can get to either by bus, train, or car that has a good track record for your needs and that you think you could live. Do your research- are there jobs there in your field? Housing?
Then get yourself a bag or large backpack.
Get a file folder and put your documents in it. I mean things like your passport, your birth certificate, your social security card, copies of any professional licenses you have, a checkbook, name change documentation, copies of financial documents like mortgages, copies of insurance cards and policies, copies of marriage licenses, and a copy of your driver's license. These are things you might need if you have to prove your identity or get a job or apartment. Then print out maps of several routes to your destination. Put the file folder in the bag.
Add to that: a couple of changes of clothes for each person including a hat and a cloth or disposable face covering (people don't question them as much since the pandemic, and they're convenient to hide your face). Lightweight, caloric foods for at least 3 days that don't require cooking (protein bars work great for this). A month of medications and an emergency script for each medication for each person (get a paper prescription from your doctor that is good for a year or the max allowed for each medication) if you can get it. Pay out of pocket with a coupon card if your insurance won't cover your refill early. 1-2 containers of baby wipes so you don't necessarily need to shower. An empty water bottle for each person. A phone charger.
Buy a gift card that can be used for anything. I won't say how much because I don't know your situation, but make it enough that you can pay for gas or bus/train/airline tickets to your destination and (if you can) temporary lodging/food once you get there. Gift cards are less traceable than debit/credit cards and aren't easy to cancel. An alternative is cash, but that can be an easier target for theft if people see you with it.
Finally, bring something of comfort, like a blanket or memento or stuffed animal.
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Ironmouse or Mousey for short is a Puerto Rican American VTuber who is a singer and twitch streamer! She is known for her energetic and chaotic personality. Mousey speaks English & Spanish fluently and knows a bit of Japanese and Korean. Her VTuber avatar is a demon queen who seeks to make friends and live life to the fullest. She frequently does Just Chatting streams and plays a varied amount of games. She is friends with Foolish and has done streams with him in the past. She is apart of the VShojo agency and in 2022 held a 31 day long subathon. During this subathon she became the most-subscribed to female streamer on Twitch. By the end having around 172k subscribers. Now during June of this year she held another subathon which broke that previous subscriber record and reached around 205k subs. This time a portion of the money raised was donated to the The Immune Deficiency Foundation.
Some important background on her is that she originally wanted to be an opera singer but was diagnosed with common variable immunodeficiency (CVID) which left her bedridden and isolated. Due to this she began streaming as a way to socialize and have something to do. Because of her disease and she has a distinctive high pitched voice so if anyone here hasn’t heard her speak before please do not be an asshole or judgmental. She is a full grown adult, treat her like one. Because of the Covid pandemic and her disease it made her unable to go outside for three years. It wasn’t until February of this year she spoke on stream about her experience going outside for the first time in years for a doctors appointment. Heres the clip of her talking about it. However during those three years her friend Connor (CDawgva) would do irl streams for Mousey showing her around places like Disneyland and all around Japan. Very heartwarming streams I recommend watching as they’ve made me tear up on multiple occasions.
So in short, Mousey is pretty damn cool and I’m pleasantly surprised to see her on the QSMP!!
Mousey Singing in Spanish<3
#she uses a lot of different avatars these are just a FEW of them#im a big fan of hers ehe#qsmp#ironmouse
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sapiosexual
🌙 staring. Seungcheol x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “You’re a beautiful, bright, young woman, and you’re agreeing to be a companion to some middle aged psych nut who hardly has enough time for you-” you both laugh a little at the way he refers to himself, “compensation is a must.”
cw/ tw. daddy kink/issues, size/shoulder/back kink, contractual relationship, unspecified age difference, unprotected sex, choking, semi bondage, multiple sex scenes, fingering, squirting, oral (m/f receiving), baby oil massage, praise, dirty talk, hair pulling, overstim, dacryphilia, slight orgasm denial, hand kink, etc... I pet names. his: daddy. hers: gorgeous, angel, darling, my love, pretty girl, etc...
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 18.6k
🍭 aus. psychologist au, non idol au, sugar daddy au, aged up/soft dom cheol, etc...
☀️ mlist + an. dont fuck your psychologist, fuck a psychologist... and try to get a cheque while you do it 👀 (sapiosexual: the attraction to intelligence and broad af shoulders)
1: Wednesday
“I’m here to meet someone- under the name Choi?”
The hostess nods politely. “Mister Choi has been expecting you, right this way.”
Your heart lurches in your chest at her words. While it makes sense that the man you’re meeting for your date had let the host know he’d have a plus one joining him, there’s something in the woman’s diction that suggests a certain kind of familiarity.
The restaurant you’re in is an expensive one, and the previous man you’d met through the online sugar dating website had made something of a show of being a part owner of a place such as this, treating the staff in a way that demanded obedience-
You really hope, for everyone’s sake, that the person you’re meeting tonight is much kinder than the last.
The hostess takes you through the main dining section of the establishment and to a more secluded area, where she motions with a hand to the one occupied table by the windows that overlook the city.
“Your server will come by for your drink order shortly,” she tells you, giving you a quick nod and something of a knowing smile before she returns to her post, allowing you to make the final distance to the table yourself.
The man sitting with his back to you hasn’t turned around, and you take a moment to collect yourself, swallowing thickly. Your eyes scan over his broad shoulders, taking in the pretty tweed suit, the colour of charcoal, and neatly styled black hair.
You take a deep breath and begin forward.
“Sorry I’m late,” you apologize as you reach the man you’ve been in contact with just under a week- “you know how traffic can be-”
Your words feel jumbled in your mouth as Mr. Choi stands to greet you- because, although you’d been expecting a handsome man, you hadn’t been expecting him to be godlike-
The photos he’d had on the sugar dating site had been ten out of tens, but the man in front of you is a scale breaker.
He’s even broader up close, and tall too- looking down at you with an amused expression, eyes practically twinkling-
“It’s alright,” he tells you smoothly, voice sexier than you could have ever imagined, “I’m glad you’re here now.”
“Me too,” you breathe, blinking up at him, etching his angelic features into your brain-
“You look beautiful,” Mr. Choi says, taking in the dress you’d spent three hours picking out-
His eyes don’t linger anywhere in particular, they’re quick to move back up to your face, and part of you almost wishes he’d stared at your chest just a little longer-
“Thank you,” you say, remembering you’ve yet to respond to his compliment.
“Would you like to sit?” he asks next, and you realize you’ve been staring too long, quickly tearing your gaze from him to give a curt nod.
The two of you take your seats, and you adjust in your chair, letting out a shaky laugh. “I’m also sorry if I’m a little awkward- I feel like my social skills took a hit during the pandemic.”
The man in front of you nods. “That’s understandable. The aftereffects of global isolation during covid is something that’s going to be studied by psychologists in depth in the coming years. You’re not alone in your feelings, believe me.”
You blink, thinking through his words. “Thank you-” you stutter, “for the reassurance, I mean.”
“Of course,” he nods again. “I think you’ll find I can be very reassuring, if need be.”
Your skin tingles, and you can’t believe that you’d nearly let your best friend talk you out of this date.
‘Psychologists can be dangerous!’ Seungkwan had insisted, ‘One moment you think he’s your boyfriend, the next he’s hypnotized you to cover up a murder-’
You’d told him to stop rewatching Hannibal.
But you have to admit… Mr. Choi, or Seungcheol, as he’d called himself when he’d first messaged you, he definitely looks like Hannibal.
Broad, handsome, tweed suit and all-
“I can see you’re thinking hard about something,” the man sitting across from you notes.
“Sorry, I was just-” you bite at your lip, “was just thinking that you’re probably really good at your job.”
His brows raise at this, and then he’s smiling, “Oh?”
“Yeah, you erm- you have a really calming voice and presence, and I mean- obviously you know what you’re talking about-”
“Are you in the market for a psychologist?”
“No-” you answer quickly, “I mean, I don’t think so- that’s not why I matched with you at least.”
The amused smile remains on his face, and it’s making it hard for you to look at him-
He keeps his gaze so fixed on you, and he exudes confidence on top of the calm-
Confidence that’s making your heart thump louder and louder in your chest-
“Hello, Mr. Choi,” the arrival of your waiter breaks the building tension you’re feeling. The question “How has your evening been so far?” confirms that Seungcheol knows the staff, and the pleasant way in which he responds tells you that you’re on a date with a good man.
After a brief back and forth, Mr. Choi orders himself an Old Fashioned, and you ask for a gin and tonic.
Then, you’re once more alone with the man whose gaze is enough to have your pussy clenching with interest-
“I saw you were new to the site,” Seungcheol notes, and you can’t believe he’d bothered to look for that information on your profile, let alone remember it. “How’s your experience been so far?”
You take a moment to collect your thoughts before responding. “If I’m being honest, I talked to one person for a while, and when we met, he turned out to be- just- not a good person. So when you favourited me, and I thought you looked nice, I told myself it would be better to meet up in person without too much back and forth first.”
“That sounds logical,” he agrees. “I’m sorry your first experience wasn’t what you thought it would be, but there is a silver lining, you’re here now.”
“I’m here now,” you echo with a smile, and the waiter returns with your beverages.
Seungcheol had invited you for drinks and dessert. Seungkwan had insisted that meant drinks and sex, but your view of things is proved to be correct when Mr. Choi orders the ‘dessert tasting menu’ and the waiter scurries off again.
“Should we make a toast?” you ask, allowing your eyes to trail over Seungcheol’s handsome face- his strong brow and pretty lips-
“We should,” he confirms, grabbing his glass and lifting it, “what would you like to toast to?”
“Being here now.”
“To being here now.” Seungcheol allows the lip of his glass to clink gently against your own before bringing it to his mouth, and you each drink to the moment.
“So,” you say when you set your cup down, “why drinks and dessert instead of dinner?”
“Dinners can be long, and full of expectations,” he tells you. “Drinks and dessert allows you to leave earlier, if you’d like to.”
“You seem like the kind of man who has everything figured out,” you muse.
The side of his mouth quirks into a charming half smile, and he leans forward slightly in his chair, assessing you with dark eyes- “Does that excite you?”
“Yes-” the word slips out before you can stop it.
The man in front of you leans back, satisfied.
“What, exactly, are you looking for right now?” he prompts. “Your bio was… somewhat vague.”
“I guess-” you take a sip of your drink. “I guess it depends on who it is.”
“How about you start by telling me your thought process behind creating an account,” he suggests.
You’re momentarily distracted by the way his thumb rubs up and down the side of his cup- dragging through droplets of condensation gathered on the glass-
“My best friend loves Marilyn Monroe,” you find yourself saying.
This is clearly not the answer Seungcheol had expected, as he quirks that inquisitive brow of his at your words, and you’re quick to continue.
“His favourite movie of hers is Gentlemen Prefer Blondes- and I’m not kidding, he’s been bleaching his hair since the tenth grade because of it- and there’s this quote- something like- ‘it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.’ And I just sort of thought- I’m tired of putting a lot into relationships with people who give nearly nothing in return. At least with something like this- I’d be guaranteed something- you know?”
“It sounds like you’ve spent a lot of your life trying to make other people happy,” he notes smoothly. “I can understand why you’d want to be on the receiving end. Everyone deserves reciprocation.”
He pauses, swirling his glass, but you can tell there’s something else on his mind, and you wait on the edge of your seat for more.
“From what you’ve said,” his thumb runs up the glass again, “it sounds to me like you’re looking for a contractual type of situation, moreso than a verbal agreement. Something with that added stability.”
“That’s correct,” you nod.
The last man hadn’t ever brought up contracts or boundaries or any of the things that are mentioned when you’d looked up what sugar babying entails.
You’re enthralled by the professional way Mr. Choi is handling himself, and you’re enjoying his crystal clear communication.
“What-” you lick your lips, “what are you looking for?”
“As you know, I’m a psychologist,” he states. “The job comes with a lot of responsibility. I take care of a number of people with quite severe conditions, and unfortunately, regardless of my intentions, this means I’ve had less time and energy to give to people in my own life.”
He pauses to take a breath and a sip of his whisky before continuing.
“I had a fiance for a time, but it became clear to me that she wanted a child. At the time, I wasn't ready to give up my work to be present in the way a developing mind would need. I’ve been looking for a sugar baby who would understand my lifestyle. Someone to meet with once or twice a week, who would provide happy company and the emotional closeness all human beings desperately need, without some of the… expectations that traditional relationships have. Does this sound like something that could interest you?”
You find yourself quickly nodding.
“Good,” he smiles warmly at you. “I’d love to explore the exact details of a contract over drinks, and we can choose a day to do that, but for now, if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to switch the topic and focus on you a little more.”
“On me?” you blink-
Mr. Choi’s grin widens, and the warmth meets his eyes. “Yes, you. I think it’s safe to say we’re both physically attracted to each other, but I want to know more about who you are, inside that pretty body of yours.”
You can feel your skin heating from his compliment, and you avert your gaze, grabbing at your drink to take a sip and cool yourself. “What do you want to know?”
“Let’s start with the things that make you happiest.”
2: Thursday
“Look who finally decided to answer,” your best friend sighs loudly when you put him on speaker, and you can imagine his classic Seungkwan eye roll.
“I was sleeping,” you tell him, which only succeeds in earning you a scoff.
“And I have been waiting for details about your date since last night!”
“I sent you a text saying it was good!”
“And then you put your phone on silent you whore!” your best friend screams, making you laugh at his antics- then his voice dips. “Did you fuck him?”
“No, of course not-”
“You sound like you’re lying.”
“I’m not, I promise-” you roll onto your back and look up at your ceiling, letting out a breath. “Drinks and dessert literally meant drinks and dessert.”
“Did he at least- I don’t know, feed you some of the dessert?”
“No.”
“Oh.” The line is quiet for a moment. “Well that’s anti-climactic.”
You laugh. “First you wanted me going on dates with sugar daddies, then you were weird about Seungcheol, now you’re wishing I had fucked him-”
“Well- did you enjoy yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Was he hot?”
You groan. “So fucking hot you don’t even know-”
“Then I do wish you’d fucked him- you’re my best friend, and you deserve to get laid,” Seungkwan says plainly. “Also- I was only weird about this Seungcheol guy because he’s a therapist-”
“Psychologist.”
“Same thing- the point is, he’s a guy with power and a brain- that can be a deadly combination.”
“I thought I told you to stop watching Hannibal,” you smile, enjoying the way Seungkwan turns everything into life or death.
He scoffs at your words, disregarding them. “So tell me about your date.”
“Like I said, it was good. I got there, we ordered drinks, he’s obviously like- super smart. We talked a little bit about why we’re on the site-”
“Why is he on the site? If he’s hot, rich, and smart?” Seungkwan asks. “Shouldn’t he be with- I don’t know… someone his own age? How old was he again?”
“Mid to late thirties- and there’s a reason for it actually. He mentioned a fiance who wanted kids- I think women ‘his age’ are all looking for a family, but he’s very… invested in his work,” you explain.
“Oh. Huh.” You listen to the cogs in Seungkwan’s brain turning. “So- I guess he just wants a sugar baby to work around his busy schedule?”
“He’s looking for a companion-” you say, “but, you know, someone who can handle the fact that his work comes first.”
“Right.” A beat, then; “So did you guys talk money?”
“Seungkwan!”
“What!?” he yells back. “Quit beating around the bush!”
“He didn’t just- whip a wad of cash out and give it to me,” you laugh. “He paid for everything of course, and we agreed to discuss a contract over drinks-”
“When?”
“Actually-” you look down at your phone, which has just buzzed, scanning the new text. “Coincidently, he’s texting me now.”
“Oooh! What’s he saying?!”
“He said, ‘I really enjoyed your company last night. Would you like to join me for drinks tomorrow at eight?’”
“Wow, this dude works fast- are you sure you didn’t suck him off or anything?”
“Seungkwan!”
“I just mean- two dates in three days- this is fast.”
“Yeah well,” you shrug while texting out a confirmation response for Seungcheol, “if you’d seen Mr. Choi in person, you’d be hoping things go fast too.”
“Is he really that sexy? This isn’t just- your old man kink?”
“I dont have an old man kink-”
“Sure you don’t.”
You groan. “Seungkwan, just trust me. This man-” you swallow thickly, “he could choke me out- and I’d say thank you daddy.”
“Right, but let’s hope he doesn’t though.”
3: Friday
Part of you isn’t surprised that Seungcheol has a study in his home, but another part of you wonders if this man is really someone you should be entertaining, with his shelves of psychology texts and autobiographies written by renowned people in his field- and the framed degrees and papers of certification-
Seungcheol is the real deal; it’s clear as day and reflected in his home.
He gives you a tour of the main floor, moving from the study to the dining room, and despite your ardent attempt at listening- it’s hard to focus.
If he’d been godlike in the charcoal tweed suit when you’d first met him- well, you don’t even know how to describe how well he fits into a plain white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose strong, bulky forearms- and then there’s the way the material stretches over his deliciously broad shoulders every time he turns his back to you-
“Now that I’ve given you a small tour, why don’t you take a seat,” he says as you enter his kitchen. “And I’ll grab us drinks. What are you feeling? Wine, water, beer, champagne-”
“Whatever you think is best,” you tell him, a little overwhelmed by the effect his home is having on you-
The effect he is having on you.
“I think I’d like to give you champagne,” he says, turning his back to you to open his fridge.
You find yourself nearly drooling at the brief moments you’re able to gawk at his shoulders again- and when he faces you, your eyes immediately zero in on his hands as they begin to fiddle with the bottle-
“Has anyone ever talked you through opening a bottle of champagne before?” he asks.
Your eyes meet briefly and you feel your skin heat when you admit, “not really- is there a specific way to do it?”
“I’m not sure if there’s one specific way,” Seungcheol chuckles a little, looking down at his task. “At ceremonies, sometimes they’ll use a sword and knock the top of the neck clean off- but for our purposes, and to avoid breaking anything with the cork if it shoots off, I prefer utilizing the cork cage,” he runs his fingers across the metal contraption on top of the bottle. “The trick is to unwind it most of the way, but keep it on so when you manuever the cork up-” his thumb runs along the seem, working at it- “it pops,” there’s a loud sound, “but it gets caught by the cork cage, and then, both are easily removed.”
He’d done the motion so professionally- a man who’s opened many a champagne bottle in his time.
Seungcheol seems to be an expert of everything - a true wealth of knowledge - and it’s one of the sexiest things you’ve ever experienced.
You watch him pour two glasses of the bubbly liquid, and then he gingerly slides one across the marble island countertop, “I think you’ll enjoy this.”
He watches you with an amused expression while you raise the champagne to your lips, and when your eyes widen at the taste, he grins.
“It’s really good,” you say, toying with the stem of your glass.
Now it’s your turn to watch him take a sip- and you’re blown away by how sexy he can be while simply drinking- his adam’s apple bobbing-
You wanna lick his neck.
You wanna lick his neck so bad-
“Should we get down to business?” he asks.
You wanna get down on something- and it’s not business.
“Er- yes, we should,” you agree, shifting the way you’re seated on the bar stool at his counter-
Your panties are sticking to your core and it’s a little uncomfortable-
You have no idea how this night is going to pan out, no idea if you’ll actually end up in his bed- so you’ve worn a beautiful, silky, matching set- its one drawback is the way the material sticks to you when you’re even slightly aroused- and you’ve been aroused since the moment Seungcheol opened the door to his home and invited you in.
“Since this is a contract we’re making together, I held myself back from writing one up,” he explains. “I was thinking we could discuss it verbally, and I’ll write up a copy of what we’ve talked about after you go home tonight-”
You feel your expression fall a little and Seungcheol pauses, expert eyes assessing you.
“Is something wrong?” he asks.
“No,” you assure him, swallowing thickly and averting your gaze, “that sounds like a good idea.”
There are a few more moments of silence, and then Seungcheol rests both hands on the countertop, leaning forward, voice dipping when he says, “Darling, as much as I’d love for you to stay over tonight, I promised myself I wouldn’t fuck you until the third date.”
Your skin feels electrified, and you gawk at the gorgeous man, who looks down at you with an amused grin.
You nearly shock yourself when the words “why not?” tumble past your lips, and his affectionate smile widens at your question.
“We’ve hardly discussed expectations,” he answers smoothly. “It would be… unwise for me to skip those important steps, to give you time to consider your options.”
“My options?”
“I am older than you,” he points out, “and there’s still a chance you might decide you want someone who can give you more of his time. I want you to be sure about all of this.”
“I am sure,” you insist.
“You think you are,” he muses, bringing his champagne to his lips, “but until you see a finalized document, you shouldn’t be agreeing to anything.”
“You won’t hurt me-” you tell him, “I trust you.”
“Although we only just met,” he points out. “If you trust me at all, trust in this process, okay, Sweetheart?”
You swallow any words of insistence that threaten to bubble up out of you, nodding and taking a sip of your own drink.
“So,” he lets out a sigh, “we discussed a few of my expectations when we first met, do you remember what they were?”
“You were looking for a companion of sorts, who could manage you being at work frequently,” you respond, feeling pleased when he nods and smiles at you. “Someone to meet up with once or twice a week.”
“Very good, Angel,” he praises you. “While it’s implied, I’d like to solidify what you might call a key condition.”
You’re practically on the edge of your seat, waiting for him to continue, your interest piqued.
“Any contract you’d sign would come with a loyalty clause.” He pauses for a moment, eyes searching your own. “Do you understand what that entails?”
“I think so,” you nod. “It would be an agreement that while I’m seeing you, I wouldn’t be entertaining anyone else. We’d be exclusive.”
“That’s my smart girl,” he smiles. “Even though I don’t have much time for you, I’d provide for you to live comfortably when I’m not around, in the hopes that, when we are together, we’re both committed to making the best of it.”
You love the way that sounds.
“Which brings me to my next point,” he continues, “monthly allowances. I’ll cover your food, rent, utilities- anything you need, and provide extra spending money for clothing, jewelry, etcetera.”
“Wow, that’s-” you feel your eyes widening, “that’s very generous of you.”
“It’s really not,” he insists. “You’re a beautiful, bright, young woman, and you’re agreeing to be a companion to some middle aged psych nut who hardly has enough time for you-” you both laugh a little at the way he refers to himself, “compensation is a must.”
You have to stop yourself from happily chirping an ‘if you say so daddy’ at the man that is so close to becoming everything you’ve ever wanted for yourself-
“On top of our one-on-one interactions,” Seungcheol says, “I’d also like for you to accompany me to professional events, but I’d need you to be discreet. On top of a loyalty clause, I might have you sign a nondisclosure act- how does that sound to you?”
You consider it for a moment. “I’m not the type to go tell people about my personal life- and other than my best friend, no one even knows I was on the sugar site-”
“Your friend who loves Marilyn Monroe and bleaches his hair?” Seungcheol asks with an amused expression.
“You remembered-” you laugh, heart warming to know how many details he’s held onto in regard to your first meeting.
“The NDA can exclude your close friend, we all need a confidant.”
“Thank you,” you swallow, “I think- if it allows me to talk to Seungkwan, signing a NDA would be okay.”
“Perfect,” Seungcheol nods, drinking the last of his champagne. “We’ve covered a few of the most important parts of an agreement, so I think maybe now is a good time to grab another important document that I need you to look over.”
“Oh?”
“Stay here for a moment, I’ll be right back,” Seungcheol assures you, flashing you a quick wink before exiting the kitchen.
It’s almost torturous to be alone anywhere in Seungcheol’s home without him, and part of you is inclined to follow him around like a lost, needy puppy-
You finish your drink while you wait, taking breaths to calm yourself, afterall, he’d said he wouldn’t be fucking you tonight- therefore, there’s not much for you to worry about.
Seungcheol returns shortly, holding a dark leather file folder, which he offers to you.
“What’s this?” you ask, not wanting to open it without being prompted to- but your curiosity is as high as ever.
“Separate from our sugar agreement, this is a bdsm contract. It has a list of kinks and other things, as well as a section for you to fill out, detailing what you’re comfortable - and more importantly - what you’re uncomfortable with. I’d like you to take it home, look it over, and if you have any questions, let me know.”
“Right-” you stand up, holding the file folder to your chest-
Any words that you were thinking of saying disappear when you look up at Seungcheol, once more marveling at your size difference and how beautiful he is-
“You’re easily distractable,” he grins, pinching at your chin gently, “aren’t you, Angel?”
“Yes sir,” you mumble-
Easily dazed too.
“My driver will take you home now,” the (much too sexy) psychologist tells you. “His name is Seokmin, you’ll probably have to remind him to give you his number. He’ll be available to you from now on if you need to go anywhere.”
“You have a driver?” you blink- shocked at how he’s able to afford all of this-
You realize he must come from old money- and you’re appalled you hadn’t noticed it before.
He doesn’t carry himself in the way a man who’d made a name for himself would- he has an air of confidence- a confidence that runs deep and is backed up by family money.
“Yes, darling,” Seungcheol grins, “we have a driver.”
4: Saturday
You’ve always loved having movie night with your best friend, but tonight, he’s not interested in movies. Seungkwan is easily distractable - a little like you, you suppose - and when you’d arrived over an hour ago, he’d immediately insisted on knowing every detail about your experience with the man he now refers to as ‘Psych daddy.’
On top of being distractable, Seunkwan is easy to please, and you manage to avoid mentioning the BDSM contract for a good long while, instead focusing on Seungcheol’s hot driver, who Seungkwan finds on instagram within five minutes.
“No way- first Psych Daddy is a ten out of ten, and now his driver is hot too?” Seungkwan bellows while mad scrolling through Seokmin’s profile. “Are you sure we’re not in some weird porn dream? You’re not gonna get tag teamed are you?”
“Seungkwan!” you scream, gently smacking him across the shoulder in shock.
“We were both thinking it!” he insists, shoving you back.
“I’ll have you know that we were not both thinking it,” you state with just as much certainty.
“But you mentioned how nice the guy was when he dropped you off last night and we called for like five minutes before you hung up on me to go to bed!”
“Yeah, in the context that Seungcheol is really nice to everyone that works for him, despite being-”
“One of the youngest, sexiest psych daddies in the city, yeah, yeah-” Seungkwan waves his hand, “Stop rubbing it in.”
“Have you been researching my boyfriend again?” you ask, thoroughly amused.
“Boyfriend?” Seunkwan eyes you up and down, sneering. “Is that what we call dom daddies now?”
“If he makes you sign a loyalty clause and a NDA, I think I can call him whatever I want, can’t I?” you point out. “And you avoided my question- you’ve definitely been googling Cheol again.”
“Been googling myself to pictures of pysch daddy-” Seungkwan says suggestively before asking, “He made you sign an NDA?”
“Not yet,” you sigh, “and don’t worry, we’ve discussed it and it will exclude you- I can tell you anything I want to.”
“Shit, did you tell him my name? Do you think he’ll accept me as a patient if he knows I’m your best friend?”
“Since when do you need a psychologist?” you laugh.
“Uh,” Seungkwan’s brows raise, “Bestie, have you seen my life? I definitely need someone to confide in who knows what the fuck he’s talking about.”
“Ouch,” you touch your heart, pretending to be wounded. “Since when did you not like crack gremlin advice?”
“Since you put down your crack gremlin hat and became a sugar baby to a hot psychologist,” Seungkwan sighs, taking one last look at Seokmin’s grinning face before he puts his phone down and focuses entirely on you. “But go back a few steps and talk to me about this loyalty clause- psych daddy sends you home with a ton of papers to sign, huh?”
“More than you could imagine.”
Your best friend looks you up and down with suspicion, brow raising in a silent prompt for more info.
When you remain quiet, Seungkwan sighs. “Fine, don’t tell me,” but after a beat, he asks, “Was it a sex list or something?”
You’re always stunned by how intuitive your best friend can be.
Upon reading your reaction, Seungkwan’s eyes widen and he grabs at your arm, nearly jumping with excitement. “No way!” he yells in your ear. “He did send you home with a sex list! Show me, show me, show me!”
You look to your bag and before you can even reach for it, Seungkwan is darting past you and retrieving the papers. “Holy shit-” he breathes, scanning the document with eyes full of something like perverted excitement. “A checklist for kinks?”
“Yup.”
“Choking, yes. Spanking, fuck yeah- bondage-” he grins at you, “looks like someone’s a little slut for psych daddy.”
“Oh my god,” you groan, reaching for the papers, but he launches himself off the couch to evade you. “If you’re gonna be like this, I don’t want to show you.”
“Fine, I’ll be nice,” Seungkwan says, but he’s still reading the list, and his voice is lacking any real sincerity. “Okay so most of these are straightforward-”
“You watch way too much porn,” you sigh.
He practically growls at you. “As I was saying- most of these are straightforward, and you’ve filled out the ones I would have expected you to- but some of these are things even I have never heard of- like, what the fuck is…” he carefully sounds out the next word, “Quirofilia?”
“Honestly- the ones I didn’t know about, I just sort of skipped over, hoping maybe you would know- but…” you can’t stop the sly grin that works its way onto your lips, “I guess Cheol did say I could call him if I had any questions…”
“At this point, it’s almost like this list is purposefully vague on some kinks-” Seungkwan sighs, joining you on the couch again. “I bet Psych daddy has been waiting for you to call him for extra clarification.”
“We could google it,” you point out.
“Definitely not,” Seungkwan says quickly. “Call daddy, and put him on speaker.”
“Oh, so he’s just daddy now?” you tease, pulling out your phone.
“Call him.”
“Hmm… maybe I’ll text,” you decide. “He could be busy.”
“That’s no fun,” Seunkwan whines, pouting out his lower lip.
“Too bad,” you tell him, typing in a quick message. “I said, ‘hey, whenever you have time, I have a few questions about some of the terms on the kink list.’”
“Add a smiley face,” your friend urges, “so he knows it’s like- good questions.”
You add a happy emoji, and hit send. Then you put your phone down, reaching for the papers from Seungkwan.
“He might not answer anytime soon-” you say- just as your phone buzzes the familiar ringtone that you’ve only given to one person.
Both you and Seungkwan stare at your ringing phone, and then your best friend grins at you.
“This guy is so whipped for you it’s crazy- are you sure you haven’t sucked his dick?”
“Oh my god stop!” you groan, “and be quiet or I can’t answer-”
“I’ll be quiet,” he insists, pretending to lock his mouth shut and throw away the key.
With one final warning glare, you turn your focus to your phone, answering the call. “Hello?”
“Hey, gorgeous,” comes Seungcheol’s unmistakable smooth drawl- god, he makes your mouth fucking water- “So you got around to looking at the kink list.”
He’s so god damned confident- and when you look up at Seungkwan, you see he’s just as shook by your new lover as you are.
“Uh, yes,” you clear your throat. “There are just a few terms I’m unfamiliar with, and- I know I could look them up, but you said to call you if I had questions-”
“Of course Angel, I’d love to help talk you through it.”
Your panties are wet.
They’re wet, and your best friend is nearly falling off the couch from how seductive your new sugar daddy is.
“What kinks are you unfamiliar with?” Seungcheol prompts, and you can practically hear him smiling at the way he’s taking your breath away on a freaking phone call-
“There’s this one,” your eyes scan over the word Quirofilia, and you do your best not to mangle it the way Seungkwan had when you relay it to Cheol.
“Quirofilia,” he repeats, teaching you the proper pronunciation with the calm, pleasant tone you’re starting to fall in love with. “It’s another term for a hand kink.”
Now it’s your turn to echo, and you say “A hand kink,” while blinking at your friend.
“Yes, angel,” Seungcheol chuckles on the other end. “If you check off the box for receiving, you’d indicate that you’d be more than comfortable with me touching you frequently. For lack of a better term, it goes hand in hand with a number of other kinks- spanking and choking for example, or finger sucking.”
“And for giving?” you question, having already checked off a yes for what he’s just described.
“For giving…” he clears his throat, “well, you’d let me pay for you to get manicures- maybe let me choose the colours and styles-” there’s another pause, then “I have to admit, I did notice that you have nice hands the first night we met.”
“Really?” your heart lurches in your chest and Seungkwan grabs a pillow to bite while listening in on a conversation that’s getting sexier and sexier- “What did you like about them?”
“They’re smaller than mine, for one. I’m sure we can both imagine how pretty they’d look wrapped around something… substantially bigger.”
Your best friend spasms, practically screaming into the pillow, and you can’t help the way your own jaw drops at the statement-
Are you about to have phone sex with Cheol in front of your best friend?
Do you need to get a room?
“We can discuss it in detail when I see you next,” Seungcheol says, cutting off your horny thoughts. “Are there any other kinks you’ve had trouble with?”
“I mean-” part of you wants to go through the whole list and pretend not to know things just to keep him on the phone- “if we’re going to discuss these all in detail when I see you next- maybe I should just wait till then?”
You can’t believe you’re cock blocking yourself just because Seungkwan is here.
“We can do that,” Seungcheol says smoothly.
In the background, you hear someone say his name, and you find yourself asking, “did I catch you at a bad time?” suddenly worried you’ve interrupted something important.
“Of course not, angel, I wouldn’t have called you if I couldn’t step away for a few minutes.” There’s a pause then, “I’m at a conference this weekend, flew out this morning.”
“Oh,” your heart deflates a little.
“I was tempted to invite you,” Seungcheol says, calming the uneasiness you’re feeling. “But seeing as you’ve not signed anything, and I already had plans with colleagues, I figured this wouldn’t be the best first trip to take you on.”
This excites you again. “Do you have somewhere specific in mind for a first trip?”
“Somewhere warm,” he answers smoothly, a small chuckle following a moment later. “Anyways, I won’t be that available tomorrow, you caught me at a good moment tonight.”
“Well… will you be back on Monday?” you question.
Another small laugh, then, “Are you that eager to see me, gorgeous?”
“Maybe.” You eye Seungkwan who’s still screaming into the pillow. “But I mean- I remember what you said about needing a sugar baby that fits your schedule, so, I don’t want to pressure you to see me the day you get back from a work conference-”
“That’s very thoughtful of you, angel,” his smooth voice calms your anxieties. “I do have quite a busy week, a few things aren’t pinned down yet, can I let you know when I have more details?”
“Yes, of course-” you bite at your lip. “I should let you get back to your colleagues- thanks for calling me and talking me through uh- Quirofilia.”
You hear him take a deep breath, and then, Seungcheol lets out something like a groan- “I’m tempted to ask what you checked off for it.”
His words go straight to your pussy and after a moment of silence you ask, “Do you want me to tell you?”
“No,” he responds, “It will give me something to think about tonight if you don’t tell me.”
“Okay,” you grin at the way he’s toying with himself- ego fuelled by the idea of him thinking about you- “I’m excited to talk more about this with you when I see you next.”
“Me too, angel.”
“Have a great time at your conference daddy.”
You slap a hand over your mouth, eyes widening at the way the term of endearment just slipped out of you-
Seungcheol lets out a deep sigh that betrays how much the word has affected him, and he sounds less composed than normal when he says, “Thank you, precious, enjoy your evening.”
You hang up, and as soon as you have, Seungkwan goes ballistic, practically pouncing at you while screaming, “That was too sexy! You guys are too sexy, what the hell!?”
Laughing at his antics is easy- pretending your panties aren’t ruined is another story.
5: Sunday
The ringtone that makes your whole body tingle with anticipation is becoming more and more familiar, and you practically launch yourself across your bed to answer your phone.
“Hi.”
A small chuckle, and a breath, then, “Hey you.”
“How's your conference going?” you ask, having not expected to hear from Cheol today.
“Good. It’s over, we finished the last meet up just before dinner. What are you up to?”
You grin to yourself, playing with the book in your lap. “I’m reading your most recent publication.”
“My most recent publication?” you can hear him smiling now too, and you enjoy the way he teases your choice of phrase. “Since when were you going out and buying my books, darling?”
“Since I saw how many you’ve done- when you showed me your library. I went out this morning and got two.”
“You could have asked, and I would have given you them for free… with a detailed note from the author.”
“I was eager to begin reading,” you admit. “And you’re so busy- I’m still not sure when I’m seeing you next.”
“That’s actually why I called. I took a look at my schedule, and I’ve got options for you.”
“Ooh! I love options.”
Another smile you can hear through the phone, and your heart beats a little faster.
“I can see you alone on Friday, it’s the earliest day I have available- but if you’d like, you can accompany me to a get-together with my work colleagues on Wednesday. I know you haven’t signed any papers and we haven’t discussed anything in detail yet but… I have a good feeling about you, angel, and I’d enjoy having you there.”
“Then of course I’ll go with you to the get-together,” you announce, grinning like a school girl at the inklings of praise he bestows on you.
“That’s wonderful news, gorgeous.” - you love it when he calls you pretty pet names - “I’m sorry that this call can’t be longer- but I’ll see you Wednesday- and I’m sure I’ll find a reason to call you before then.”
“Yes, please.”
He laughs, and the sound has your core buzzing with interest- how the hell is Seungcheol so sexy without even trying?
“Have a good night, angel, and don’t read too much of my book- they’re all depressing.”
“They’re informative,” you insist. “Have a wonderful night Cheol, and thanks for calling.”
6: Monday
“Hi.”
You’ve gotta stop answering your phone with a full grin- but every time Seungcheol calls you, you can’t help but get warm and fuzzy all over.
“Hi, angel.”
And wet. Wet all over.
Wet where it counts.
“I was just thinking about you,” you confess, toying with the page of his book that you’ve been reading.
“Funny, I was just thinking about you,” he responds, “and I have been, all day. It’s quite distracting actually.”
“Really?” Your heart leaps again.
“I was thinking about getting you something to wear to the party on Wednesday- was going to get Seokmin to drop it off at your place, but then… I realized how much I’d rather see you and give you the dress in person, to see your reaction.”
This man gives you full on heart palpitations- and it takes everything in you to clear your throat and ask, “so does this mean I’ll see you before Wednesday, or?”
“I mean… I don’t want to assume you’re free every night- but if you’re not otherwise busy tomorrow-”
“I always have time for you daddy,” you smile, “and I’ll sign a contract to prove it.”
He lets out a shaky breath, and you love that you’re having an effect on him. “That’s good to hear sweetheart. I’ll move a few things around. How does seven sound?”
“Seven sounds perfect.”
“And it will be a longer stay this time. I know I kept our last interaction at my home brief- but if you bring all the documents I gave you, we can…” he clears his throat, “discuss them in full, tomorrow, if you’d like”
“I’d love that,” you admit.
“Seokmin will be at your place to pick you up at seven then, angel. I can’t wait to see you.”
“I can’t wait either.”
7: Tuesday
Seungcheol is a man who strives for perfection. From his home and work, all the way down to the pretty present he’s gotten for you, the box wrapped in a golden bow-
And when you open your gift to reveal an expensive red fabric just itching to be touched- you think there’s a possibility that you might very much be in love with the psychologist already.
“It’s beautiful-” you breathe, pulling the silky garment from its box to assess the length and style.
“You were wearing red when we first met,” Seungcheol tells you, “I thought to myself that I’d never seen such a gorgeous girl- when I invited you to the gettogether tomorrow, I knew there was only one colour I truly wanted to see you in.”
Your heart is having palpitations, you swear-
“Do you-” you swallow thickly, looking up at him, “do you want me to try it on for you now?”
It’s his turn to take a shaky breath, and after a stagnant pause, he shakes his head, “No. I think I’d like to be surprised tomorrow- besides, after we get done looking over the papers and contracts, I feel as if we’d both prefer you to be taking off clothes rather than putting them on.”
He’s right about that.
You only wish you’d known about his affinity for the color red before you’d chosen a black lingerie set, knowing that tonight would be the night he’d finally strip you bare-
You can’t wait for him to fuck you. You honestly can’t- and all these paper signings- they’re just a formality for you.
As far as you’re concerned, Cheol is the one- or at least, he could be the one.
Or maybe he’s just the ‘for now,’ but regardless, for now, you want to be ravenously fucking him-
“My easily distractable darling,” he gently pinches at your chin, pulling you from your dirty thoughts. “Let’s see the papers.”
After putting the dress back in its box, you grab the purse you’d arrived with. It’s large enough to hold the folder with the documents, which you pull out next, setting it down on Seungcheol’s kitchen counter.
“I see you’ve printed out the other documents I sent you since we last met,” he says, and you can hear the pride in his voice that you’d gone a step above and beyond what he’d asked of you.
After your last date, wherein you’d gotten the kink list, he’d sent you an email with a link to a contractual pdf. Once you’d gone over the contract in detail on your computer, you’d printed it out, eager to sign your name- but you’d been patient, knowing he’d probably want to witness your signature being jotted down on the dotted line.
“I’m ready to sign them,” you tell him, also pulling a pen out of your purse-
“Eager angel,” he smiles, taking the seat on the barstool next to yours. “Are you sure you don’t want to read it all over one more time?”
“I’m sure,” you tell him, angling your body towards his and fiddling with your pen.
“Alright,” Seungcheol nods, rolling up the sleeves of his white button-down, his forearms flexing. “How about you let me sign first, then you can do your own signature.”
You hold out your pen, which he accepts, and you watch the way he adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose when he looks down at the contract. His eyes scan over the document, and a moment later, the ballpoint pen is gliding languidly across the dotted line, his signature solidified in a binding agreement.
“There we go,” he says smoothly, holding the pen out for you to take.
Within seconds, two signatures are on the contract, and your heart is racing just a little faster in anticipation of what’s to come next.
“And now to look over your kink list,” Seungcheol breathes, moving the signed papers to the side.
Your heart lurches when he picks up the sheet you’ve filled in, and you stay silent while his eyes move over each line of information.
“As much as these all interest me,” he says, “I’m pleased to see you’ve checked off giving and receiving for quirofilia.” His large hand moves to rest on top of your thigh, and he gives you a gentle squeeze, eyes shifting from the paper to your own. “Will you allow me to book a manicure for you tomorrow? In preparation for the get-together?”
“Yes, please,” you rest your hand on top of his own.
“We’ll have to get your nails matching your new dress,” he tells you smoothly, setting the paper down in favour of pushing a strand of hair away from your face, his index finger gently gliding past your cheekbone. “And there will be another present for you tomorrow.”
“Another?” you’re nearly dizzy from how well he treats you-
“Another,” he confirms, taking off his glasses to set down before standing from the bar stool.
“Are you going to tell me what it is?” you ask, allowing him to prompt you to your own feet, both of his hands gently capturing your own.
Seungcheol gives his head a small shake, a smile on his lips when he responds with a “no.”
Something inside of you deflates slightly at the fact that he’s withholding information from you, and you can’t help the way you pout your lower lip out - just a little - in an effort to perhaps make him change his mind-
“Come on, angel,” Seungcheol laughs, pinching your chin and forcing you to look up at him. His dark chocolate colored eyes are swimming with adoration, and his small half smile is breathtaking- “you can be patient for one more day, can’t you?”
“Depends what for,” you admit, reaching your free hand out to hook your fingers in the front of his belt, pulling yourself closer to the man who’s as solid as any brick wall you’ve ever seen-
“Patience for the next present,” he clarifies, gaze dipping down to your lips as you move even closer to him- “not for anything else.”
“Promise?” you ask, pushing onto your tip toes- mouths even closer-
“Promise,” Seungcheol says, finally closing the distance between you.
His lips are soft- he’s a gentleman, and his hand moves from your chin to be cupping the nape of your neck, the other smoothing down to the small of your back.
It’s chaste kissing- too chaste for you, and you wrap your arms around the back of his own neck, pressing your chest up against his.
You don’t want any more distance between you, and you especially don’t want to wait any longer for this man to fuck the ever-loving shit out of you.
“Cheol-” you groan, allowing him to tilt your head and slide his tongue along your lower lip.
“Yes, angel?” His voice is so deep and sexy, the vibrations of it going straight through from his chest to your own and then down to your tingling core-
“Daddy, please-”
“I would ask you to use your words, but now that you’ve filled out your kink list-” he swallows thickly, gently pressing his forehead to yours, “I think I have a pretty good idea of what you’d enjoy.”
In the back of your mind, you remember that you’d said yes to most of the kinks on the list- so you’re not sure how - exactly - he’s going to narrow it down and decide on what to do to you today- but there’s another part of you that trusts him fully.
Tonight is going to be a night to remember, regardless of what kinks he fulfills for you.
“Wait-” your hands move from his strong shoulders to the front of his dress shirt, toying with the buttons there, “I never saw your kink list.”
“Would you like to?”
You nod.
“Another time then,” Seungcheol says smoothly, “tonight, I want to take care of you. How’s that sound?”
“Sounds good,” you admit, tugging on his shirt in an effort to pull him closer.
With a smile, Seungcheol concedes, lips finding yours again.
Instead of being as chaste as he had at the start, with each brush of your mouths against each other, he’s becoming more bold, gently testing your limits-
Little does he know that when it comes to him, you have no hard limits.
He could talk you into just about anything- but part of you knows he’d never really try to talk you into much, which is one of the reasons why you’re so open for him.
As he kisses you harder, and you tug him even closer, you realize you’re practically trying to climb him- and in one motion, Seungcheol bends down and lifts you into his arms bridal style, being mindful of the black dress still adorning your body.
“I’m going to take you to my bedroom now,” he tells you, and you take the opportunity to begin speckling his neck and underjaw in kisses, your hands tugging and toying with the fabric covering his broad shoulders.
It’s so easy to become lost in him- his gentle, calming aura truly overtakes you, and now that you’re contractually under his protection - both financially and romantically - nothing else does matter-
Nothing except him.
You want to make Seungcheol happy- and you note his reactions, note the way he releases a shuddery breath when you find a sensitive spot just under his ear- your tongue dipping out to taste his skin while you press kisses there-
“Okay, angel,” he sighs, “time to set you down.”
He places you gently onto his bed before straightening to look at you.
Seungcheol has always been tall and broad- but towering over you at the foot of his bed while you lay there with soaked panties takes him to new heights - literally - and you find yourself practically drooling- sitting up in an effort to get close to him again-
“Nuh uh uh,” he tuts, pressing one knee onto the mattress between your legs. “Lift your arms so I can take this dress off of you, and then lay back down for me, yeah?”
You follow through with his request gladly, allowing him to strip you of your dress before you flatten against his bed again, looking up at him with a lustful wonder that you’ve never truly experienced.
“There’s my pretty girl,” Seungcheol says smoothly, discarding your dress before looking down at you with appreciative eyes- eyes that finally take in some of your best features, gliding across your breasts and the lingerie set you’re wearing- “You dressed up for me,” he notes.
“Of course, daddy,” you sigh, reaching for him when he presses his other knee onto the bed, “wanted to look good for you.”
“You always look good,” he tells you, flattening his form over your own, one hand pressed to the mattress next to your head while the other gently grasps your jaw. “My pretty little angel,” he says, breath fanning across your skin before his lips find your own.
You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer and looking for friction between your thighs-
A moan slips out of you when you feel his cock, pressing against the front of his pants deliciously-
Seungcheol chuckles into your kiss before pulling away from you, his lips moving to your neck-
“So sensitive, baby,” he says, rutting forward ever so slightly- cock dragging past your panty-clad core and making you groan again. “When was the last time you were properly touched?”
“It’s been a while,” you admit, swallowing thickly and lacing your fingers through Seungcheol’s hair while he kisses down to the swell of your breasts, still captured in your bra.
“Well, we’re going to change that.”
“We better,” you retort, back already arching off the bed to give him access to the clasp of your bra- which he undoes with deft fingers. “Take it off- please-”
The garment slips off of you easily, and Seungcheol tosses it to join your dress on the floor before his large, warm hand is cupping your breast, lips attaching to one nipple while his fingers toy with the other.
Small gasps of ecstasy escape you, filling the room with your whimpery sounds of need.
Your new lover focuses on your breasts in a way that begins to make you frustrated, your pussy clenching with untouched desire- and the feeling of Seungcheol’s muscled shoulders is almost too much for your hands, which can’t help but explore his body-
“Please-” you moan, shifting your hips up, eager for him to grind down on you again-
The hand on your breast is removed, and it slips between your bodies, two fingers pressing to your pussy through your panties.
You release a whimper, body shuddering at the small stimulus on your clit-
“Your panties are soaked, angel,” he says, releasing your breast in favor of looking down at you again. “Do you really need me that much?”
“I do,” you tell him sincerely, once more tugging at the front of his shirt. “I need you so bad-”
Your fingers begin to undo his buttons, but your motions are shaky, especially as he rubs your core harder, teasing you through your panties-
“Please- just take them off,” you groan. “Take it all off-”
Seungcheol grins, “If you insist,” and then he’s pulling away from you, leaving you cold and desperate, your hands trying to follow him-
But then you stop, zoning in on the way his own nimble fingers undo the buttons of his shirt-
And then he’s shrugging the fabric off, revealing a chiseled torso and an abdomen that you could wash clothes on-
“You’re so-” you groan, unable to even believe you’d found a man like this on a sugar dating site.
“I’m so…” he looks at you with a cocked brow, kneeling between your legs, his hands finding your thighs and smoothing down against your skin.
“You’re everything,” you tell him, unable to think through much else.
The complement works, and Seungcheol’s smile widens. “Thank you, angel,” he says. “Daddy’s going to eat you now.”
You’re so overwhelmed- in the best of ways- that you hardly even hear Seungkwan’s voice in the back of your mind screaming ‘hannibal the cannibal, bitch!’
Your best friend had been so wrong about Seungcheol- who gets down onto his knees at the foot of the bed, dragging you closer before hooking his fingers in your panties-
You lift your hips, allowing him to tug the fabric from your form, leaving you completely naked-
Seungcheol releases a breath that fans over your pussy, his lips pressing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.
“You’re so perfect,” he says, teeth grazing past your skin before he finally brings his mouth where you need him most.
You can’t help but reach down and tangle your fingers through his hair, determined to keep him between your thighs-
And he doesn’t disappoint, tongue licking you up and down, pressing through your pussy lips and dipping into your core, nose brushing by your clit-
“Cheol-” you whimper, toes curling at the sensation.
You’ve been eaten out before, but you’ve never been as into a man as you are with Seungcheol, and every brush of him against you has you practically whining and tingling with ecstasy.
You’d never thought sex could be this good- and he hasn’t even fucked you yet.
His tongue is nothing compared to what his cock is going to feel like- but his mouth alone is bringing you shockingly close to your high, devastatingly fast.
Seungcheol releases a groan against your pussy, pulling away just enough to ask “close already, angel?”
“Mmm- yes,” you whimper, tightening your grip in his hair on an effort to bring him back to your pussy.
“You can cum, just- let me know,” he tells you, tongue returning to your aching hole, lapping at you for all you’re worth-
You find your eyes closing, your head resting back against his bed while his ministrations work you closer and closer to the edge-
One of your feet drags along his strong back, your legs threatening to close around his head as your sounds of pleasure begin to tumble out of you uncensored, filling the room-
Seungcheol presses his face against you even harder, lips wrapping around your clit-
“Cheol- I’m gonna-” you whine, breaths becoming irregular as you get closer and closer to cloud nine- “oh my god-” you reach the peak of pleasure, and a gasped “daddy” escapes you as you’re consumed with your orgasm, quivering legs trying to close around Seungcheol-
But two hands land on your inner thighs, forcing you open for the man who eats you through your high like he’s been starved-
Perhaps you both have.
You haven’t felt something this good in- maybe ever, and all you’re able to do is tug on his hair, moan loudly, and rut your hips against his face while you feel him tingling through every fiber of your being.
Seungcheol works you through your entire orgasm and then some, until your legs feel like jelly from being tensed, and you can hardly breathe correctly. Then, he pulls away from you slowly, pressing kisses along your inner thigh-
You open your eyes to look down at him, and you’re met with a visual that has you getting wet all over again.
The gorgeous man between your legs, wipes his thumb across his lower lip, collecting what’s there and slipping it into his mouth, releasing a groan that has you practically twitching-
His pupils are blown with interest, and he’s breathing just as heavily as you are.
He stands up, towering over you once more.
Seungcheol swallows thickly, running a hand through his hair. “I’m guessing from the way you checked off cum play and breeding kink that you’re on some sort of contraceptive?”
You release a small laugh- no man has ever used the word contraceptive in the bedroom with you before. Cheol is so sexy with his fancy words-
“Hey,” he gently taps your inner thigh again, “are you alright?”
“Yes, I-” you take a breath, “sorry, I’m just-” you can’t help but reach for him, making something like grabby hands in the air.
“I’ll give you a second to come down a bit more,” he concedes, returning between your legs, holding himself just over your body while you attempt to latch onto him, ankles crossing behind his back to lock him in- “You really haven’t been properly touched in a while,” he notes, brushing your hair out of your face and behind your ear.
“No,” you agree, “I haven’t.”
You cup his face, eager for his lips to be on yours, but he holds just out of your reach, grinning down at you. “Almost ready to answer my question?”
You nod, taking a breath before telling him, “I’m on the pill.”
“Lucky us,” Seungcheol says, bypassing your lips in favour of pressing a kiss to your neck, just above your fluttering pulse point. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” you admit, letting out a deep sigh- “needy.”
Seungcheol releases a small groan, and he pushes his hips forward, teasing your bare core with the front of his dress pants- “Yeah?”
“Please-” you tug gently at his hair, “stop teasing me.”
“Just trying to let you take a breath,” he retorts.
“I don’t want to breathe,” you say stubbornly, “I want you.”
He lets out a chuckle, and you find yourself wanting to prove how much you want him.
There’s no way in hell that you’ll be able to dominate Seungcheol, he’s as sturdy as a bear laying on top of you, but when you push at his shoulders, he relents, allowing you to roll him onto his back so you’re now the one on top.
He blinks up at you, lips parting-
“Didn’t expect this, did you, daddy?” you ask, placing your palms flat on his chest while adjusting the way you’re seated, capturing his cock between your bodies-
Seungcheol sits up abruptly- and you almost think he’s going to say something, but instead, he presses his lips to yours, capturing the nape of your neck with his hand so you can’t move away.
His kiss is hungry, tongue gliding past your own and earning a mewl of pleasure- your hips rock slightly, and you’re immediately aggrieved to be reminded that he still has pants on.
“Want you naked,” you tell him between kisses, “want to taste you-”
Now it’s his turn to let out a groan of eager delight, and he lets go of his hold on your neck, pulling away from your lips to look you in the eyes while he grabs a fistful of your hair, tugging ever so slightly to have your head arching back- “You sure about that?”
“God, yes-” you moan, licking your lips-
“Then go ahead, angel,” Seungcheol says, releasing you. “Do whatever your heart desires, and if you get tired, let daddy know so he can take over again.”
You’ve never been wetter in your life. Nor have you ever shimmied down a man’s body and wrestled with his pants so quick, but with Seungcheol, that’s precisely what you do, and within no time at all, you have your mouth wrapped around the head of his cock.
He’s girthy- and you can just imagine how good the stretch of him is going to feel-
You’re practically drooling on him, bobbing your head up and down while he pushes your hair out of your face, releasing a groan and a “that’s it, angel” that eggs you on even more.
You’re aware that you don’t want to make him cum like this- this is just you returning the favour before riding him-
God, you want to ride him so bad- like you’ve never wanted to ride any man in your whole entire life.
“Fuck-”
It’s the first swearword you’ve ever heard come out of Seungcheol’s mouth, and it goes straight to your pussy, which clenches around nothing, your mouth slipping down far enough on his cock that you choke-
“Careful, darling,” the hand in your hair tugs you off his cock, and you take a gasp of air, sneaking a glance up at the man who has you going feral-
“I wanna ride you.”
“Like I said, do whatever your heart desires,” comes his almost casual response-
This man is going to be the death of you.
Death by psychologist cock.
Before you can even think a coherent sentence, you’re straddling Seungcheol’s hips, adjusting his cock to fit snuggly against your core, and sinking down on him, filling yourself inch by delicious inch until you’re sat atop him like a queen on her throne.
His hands find your waist, and you both release sounds of pleasure, your eyes closing to enjoy the feeling of being perfectly full for just a moment before you begin to move-
“Feels good, huh?” he prompts, squeezing your hips gently.
“Feels fucking fantastic,” you tell him- swear words be damned.
Your hands find his strong chest, and you lean over him, connecting your lips while you take a test thrust, bouncing just slightly on his cock-
The feeling is enough to have you both groaning into each other’s mouths, Seungcheol cupping the side of your face while he gently bites at your lower lip-
You’re not used to being on top- and it feels obvious in the shallow way you’re riding him, too distracted in kissing to give either motion your full attention-
But that doesn’t matter, because Seungcheol is rutting up to meet you, matching your slow pace and helping you find a steady rhythm with the hand still on your hip, guiding you as you begin to bounce.
It feels like heaven to be fucking Choi Seungcheol- feels like nothing you could have ever imagined.
You find yourself getting lost in him, working on autopilot with one destination in mind: orgasmic pleasure, and with each thrust of his hips to meet you, he helps you get closer.
“Fuck, Cheol-” you groan, tearing your lips from his to take a breath, burying your face against his neck while your thighs burn from effort- “Daddy, please- please, fuck me-”
That’s all you need to say to get him to take over, flipping you onto your back so he can regain the top position. He captures your hands, raising them over your head where he can lock your wrists together in his strong grip, then his free digits slip between your bodies, seeking out your clit-
“Oh my god,” you moan, eyes closing as you’re overwhelmed in the sensation of him-
“Close already, sweetheart?” he questions, letting out a smug, sexy, little chuckle. “Feels that good?”
“Yes- feels so good,” you tell him, ready to say anything he wants you to if it means he fucks you harder-
His fingers draw small quick circles on your clit, and your legs twitch where they’re wrapped around his waist.
“I’ve hardly even fucked you- you can hold it a little longer, can’t you darling?” he prompts, nosing at your cheek. “For me?”
“I can-” you groan as he fucks you harder, “I can try- but- my clit-”
“Is this making it difficult for you?” Seungcheol smiles, relenting ever so slightly and then removing his hand all together in favour of wrapping it around your throat. “There, is that better?”
He squeezes your airway, and you’re simply unable to speak, unable to do anything but moan like a whore in heat while he fucks you closer and closer to an orgasm you’re desperately trying to hold off for him-
“You feel-” he lets out a groan, “unbelievable.”
No, he feels unbelievable, and you can’t even touch him with your hands still pinned-
You think if you could graze your fingers across his strong shoulders you’d cum instantly, so maybe it’s a good thing he has your wrists in his grasp-
“I think I want you to cum now,” he decides, and you’re thankful- only for him to release your throat and rub your clit, which has you whining loudly all over again- “You’ll cum with me, right?”
“God, daddy- yes!” you whimper- the coil in your stomach clenching as tightly as ever-
Then he releases your wrists, anchoring a hand against your abdomen to keep you down while he works you over the edge- and your own fingers immediately seek out the shoulders that have you dizzy with lust, core clamping down on his cock as you’re high hits you full force.
“Cheol-” you whimper, delighted by the way he immediately presses his lips to yours, eagerly eating up your sounds of pleasure and returning them with grunts and groans of his own while fucking you through one of the best orgasms of your entire life.
His tongue dances by yours, teeth teasing past your lip-
Your fingers are in his hair and you can feel him practically everywhere, your entire body alight with wonderful sensations of bliss-
It starts to slow too soon, but every up must have a down, and as his hips lose pace and your sounds lessen, you realize you’re truly, madly, deeply in love with Choi Seungcheol.
And you’ve known him for less than a week.
8: Wednesday
“Are you settling in okay?” Bora’s voice pulls you away from your daydreaming, and you tear your eyes off of Seungcheol to focus on the woman whose house you’ve been enjoying for much of the evening.
She’d been introduced to you as Seungcheol’s colleague’s wife, and you’ve yet to get any one on one with the very pregnant hostess, whose husband, Mingyu, has been circling her like a puppy this entire time.
“Yes,” you respond, finding your voice, “you have a very easy home to settle into.”
“I appreciate that,” she smiles, taking the free seat on the sofa next to you, one hand settling over her protruding stomach in a maternal way that makes your heart soften. “I’ve been meaning to have a chat with you since you arrived, but both of us seem to have a plus one that’s attached at the hip.”
Now it’s her turn to look over at Seungcheol and Mingyu, who are huddled around another psychologist friend of theirs, Wonwoo, and his wife, their attention fixed on the youngest member of the housewarming party, a six-month-old baby named Yumi.
“I feel as if I’m the plus one,” you say.
“Don’t be modest,” Bora brushes it off with a smile, “Cheol has had his hand on the small of your back for most of the evening. As much as they like to pretend they’re big shot psychologists, we’re the crutches that get them through the evening.”
You take a moment to consider her words.
This is the first event you’ve gone to with your new beau, and for much of it, you’ve been as intent to stick to Cheol’s side as he has been to yours.
“Trust me,” Bora continues, “give it a few minutes and they’ll migrate over here to be close to us.” She pauses, then, “Mingyu has to get used to being in the living room, a pregnant woman like me needs a good, comfortable seat.”
You both laugh at the way she touches her belly again, pushing it out and relaxing back on the sofa.
“How far along are you?” you ask.
Despite already having had dinner and discussion for an hour or two, much of the focus has been on the home and various publications that the four university friends have been working on, with Wonwoo’s wife Minji having arrived with Yumi only a short while ago.
“Eight months,” Bora sighs, continuing to stroke her baby bump. “I’m just about ready to pop. But enough about me and my belly, you’ve hardly spoken about yourself- and Cheol is always so focused on work, I’ve yet to get many details out of him, other than the fact that you’re worth skipping book club for. Did you two have a hot date last night?”
Your skin heats with embarrassment- “I didn’t know he’d skipped book club for me-”
“It’s a loose arrangement, Tuesdays at seven, I’m only teasing you,” Bora leans over to nudge you with her shoulder, offering you a sweet smile. “How did you two meet?”
The nondisclosure agreement pops into your mind like a red warning sign.
“Erm…” you swallow, “Cheol hasn’t told you?”
“Like I said, he’s very tight-lipped about it,” Bora explains. “But- I’ve never known Seungcheol to be a fan of changing his schedule- and the pearl necklace you’re wearing- the dress, your lovely nails- they all seem like gifts to me. Am I right?”
Her husband might be a psychologist, but Bora has just as much of a critical eye. She sees right through you.
“Fine, don’t tell me,” Bora waves your silence off, “I know I’m right. I’ll figure you two out.”
“Are you being nosy again, Mrs. Kim?” Vernon, the fourth and quietest man of your new lover’s friend group joins you in the living room, taking a seat on the single chair to your left.
“Always,” Bora responds with a smile. “Wait, Vernon, maybe you know more about this. Y/N is being no fun- Cheol must have told you where and when they met-”
Vernon’s mouth opens in something like recognition-
“Ah ha!” Bora exclaims, leaning closer to you, sandwiching you in while she presses for more information. “So you do know!”
“I do, but-” Vernon looks at you, then he leans in too, his voice dipping to something near a whisper, “Are we allowed to talk about this?”
“Allowed?” Now Bora is even more hooked on finding the truth than before, and her gaze darts between you and the man on your left, who obviously knows at least a few details about you and Seungcheol’s ‘origin story.’
Due to the NDA, all you can do is sit there like a fish out of water, and you find yourself looking to Seungcheol, hoping he’ll see you in distress and come over to sort things out-
“Let’s just say-” Vernon sighs, giving in to the pregnant woman’s need for information, “Y/N, you seem like a great girl- as kind, calm, collected, and smart as Seungcheol told us you were- but, I am shocked he found you on a dating site.”
“A dating site?” Bora’s eyes have widened, and she shuffles closer to you on the couch, jaw dropped. “Stop- when I told him to try online dating after his last girlfriend I was honestly joking- everyone knows Tinder is hookup central these days.”
Bora is as inquisitive as anyone you’ve ever met, and she checks you and Vernon for your reactions, easily picking up on the shift of energy-
“Wait, not tinder?” She pauses, waiting for an answer. When it becomes obvious neither you nor Vernon are going to elaborate, she sighs and sits back a little. “Now that I think of it, tinder is an app, not a site- the only dating sites I can think of online are-”
It’s like a lightbulb goes off atop her head, and her jaw drops a little more- then she’s inching in close to you again, whispering as Vernon had done earlier, “You know what? Now that we’re discussing it- a sugar daddy site would be perfect for Cheol.”
Vernon groans, throwing his hand over his eyes and leaning forward. It’s clear he’d expected to be able to talk to you in something of vague code without Bora picking up on it- but it seems he’s underestimated the astute woman next to you.
“You guys are horrible at keeping secrets,” Bora grins, sneaking a glance at Seungcheol, who’s now picked up baby Yumi- “This is so interesting.”
“The plot thickens,” you offer, unable to say much more than that.
“Oh my god, stop,” Bora says playfully, poking your arm. “Obviously there’s some… agreement that’s been made between you and Cheol, so I’ll try not to prod you for much more information,” she promises, “but I’ll talk to Cheol and the next time we meet, you’ll be able to speak more freely.”
“The next time we meet?” you ask, wondering how the woman can be so sure of herself in every regard.
“We’ll meet again,” she tells you. “Trust me, anyone watching you and Seungcheol- well, anyone who knows him, can tell he really likes you.”
Your heart skips a beat. “You think?”
Bora smiles at you. “Sweet girl, it’s obvious. Trust me, Seungcheol doesn’t bring around just anyone to parties with us, and like I said, he doesn’t often change his schedule for girls either. I don’t care what site you met on, you have that man whipped.”
“Bora-” the psychologist on your left groans.
“Vernon,” she retorts with the same tone.
They exchange a glance, a battle for dominance, and Bora wins, Vernon releasing a sigh before leaning back in his chair.
“You know what is surprising?” he asks.
“Tell us,” Bora mirrors him, relaxing back against the couch.
“How good Cheol is being with Yumi tonight.” Vernon is watching his friends and the baby again, and soon all three of you are.
“That’s a good point, Vernon,” Bora grins, nudging you a little with her elbow. “I wonder why that is?”
You think her intuition has finally run dry. She can’t be insinuating that you’re partially the reason behind Seungcheol’s apparent baby fever-
And if she is, she has another shock coming for her when she finally talks to Cheol and finds out that ‘no babies’ was one of the clauses of your dating agreement.
“I think, Cheol’s the kind of man who likes seeing people happy, and Yumi is very expressive” you offer. “People can like babies without wanting one for themselves.”
Bora lets out a scoff. “Right, Mingyu and I always thought we just ‘liked babies,’ and now look at me. Liking babies is always how it starts, and before you know it, nine months have gone by, you’ve turned into a balloon and are buying a new home big enough to raise a family in.”
You are envious of her position, but at the same time, you’re acutely aware that you and Cheol are extremely new to each other. He’s not the kind of man to be hasty- or at least, you’d thought he wasn’t, but as Bora had mentioned, Seungcheol doesn’t introduce just anyone to his friends.
You’ll have to talk with him about this and you know it, but until then, it’s enough to just sit between his friends and watch him play with Yumi, who seems to give everyone in the vicinity a serious case of baby fever.
9: Thursday
“Hold up-” Seungkwan says, interrupting you with a wave of his hands, and they land on your knees, “wait a minute- so he makes you sign an NDA, and then invites you out with his friends, and one of them like- bombards you for an hour about him-”
“It wasn’t an hour-”
“Sure-”
“And she wasn’t bombarding,” you correct.
“Ok, fine, yeah, whatever- but then-” Seungkwan takes a deep breath, “he also has a thing about no babies, and in the first week- straight up rubs a baby in your face for an entire night-”
“Yumi was only there for an hour or so before we left-”
“And then!” your best friend interrupts you again, “on the car ride home, instead of discussing it with him like adults- ya’ll put up the separation between you and his hot as fuck driver, and nearly fucked in the back seat-”
“Oh my god, stop-” you groan, “I told you, it was just kissing-”
“With you straddling the man!” Seunkwan yells back. “And all of this, after he switched his schedule to fuck you on Tuesday night- even though you said it would go slow-”
“Actually, he told me he wouldn’t fuck me till the third date, and if we didn’t meet Tuesday, the night with his friends on Wednesday would have been the third date, so-”
“I swear to fucking god, I have whiplash,” Seungkwan tells you, looking as serious as ever. “Ya’ll make me sick! Sick I say! What in the ever-loving fanfic is this bullshit-”
“Have you been writing more Hannibal and Will love stories again?”
“Maybe.”
“Are you going to write a fanfic about Will and Hannibal based on me and Cheol?”
“Maybe…”
“Seungkwan!”
“Well don’t tell me juicy stories if you don’t want them getting thrown in a sex fantasy! Ya’ll nearly fucked in the back of a car with a hot chauffeur-”
“I told you-” you begin to defend yourself again, only to be cut off by your phone buzzing.
Both you and Seungkwan look to your cell, placed a foot or two away on the coffee table.
“Daddy,” you both say in unison, and then you’re lurching for your phone.
“Seungkwan stop!” you screech, grabbing onto his sweater when he latches onto the device first.
“Put him on speaker!” Seungkwan declares, holding your cell just out of your reach while it rings.
“Yeah- I’ll put him on speaker-” you fold easily, “just give me the phone!”
Instead of handing it to you right away, your best friend answers the call and hits speaker, then thrusts it towards your face.
“Hi, daddy!” you blurt out, flustered from the small dust up you’d just had with your friend over the entire situation.
There’s a chuckle on the other end of the line, then “Hi, sweetheart. It sounds like I’ve interrupted something.”
“Just-” you grab the cell back from Seungkwan, “just had trouble finding my phone is all, was worried you’d be sent to voicemail.”
“I’m glad I wasn’t. It’s good to hear your voice.”
Your heart swoons, and Seungkwan grabs a pillow to scream into. “Good to hear yours too.”
“I’m just calling to see if we’re still on for tomorrow.”
“Right, yeah- do you still want to see me? I know you were very specific when we met about meeting up once or twice a week, and I’ve already seen you twice in the past three days-”
“Once or twice a week, plus the occasional group event,” Seungcheol clarifies for you. “I’d really enjoy having you over tomorrow, if you haven’t already made plans. I won’t hold it against you if you have, I can see how there might have been a small miscommunication- especially after my… erratic behavour this week, fitting you in on Tuesday- scheduling will almost always be smoother than it has been these last few days.”
“I’d love to see you tomorrow- I haven’t made any other plans.”
“Good.” You can hear him smiling. “Since it’s a Friday, and I don’t have any specific work engagements on weekends, how do you feel about bringing an overnight bag?”
Seungkwan drops his pillow.
“I would love that, too-” you say.
“Perfect. Should we say pick up at seven?”
“Sounds great.”
God, he makes everything so easy-
“Can’t wait to see you again, angel. Have a good evening, you deserve it.”
You deserved to get dicked down.
“Have a good night too, Cheol.”
10: Friday
When you exit your building, you’re shocked to find a different car - and an entirely different driver - waiting to take you to Seungcheol’s home.
The man himself is standing aside a sleek, black, two-seater sports car, dressed in his usual suit aesthetic that shows off the broadness of his shoulders-
You go feral nearly immediately, and it takes everything in you to stop from practically drooling as you close the distance between you and the man who pulls you into a hug that takes you off your feet for a greeting.
“Hey there, angel,” his breath tickles your hair and he sets you back down. He takes your hands gently, holding them out to the sides so he can get a good look at your outfit, a red dress you’d chosen, knowing it’s his favourite colour. “You look gorgeous.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” you grin, playing with his fingers.
One quick motion has him spinning you like a dancer, and you find yourself giggling like a schoolgirl.
“Ready to go?” he asks when you’ve come to a stop in front of him again.
“Uh huh,” you nod, giving your head a little shake to pull yourself from a lust-fueled daze, “sorry, I was just- I wasn’t expecting you to be the one picking me up.”
“I gave Seokmin the night off,” Seungcheol tells you, opening the car’s passenger side door and holding out a hand to help you in. “Hope that’s okay,” he leans down and presses a quick kiss to your cheek before taking your overnight bag and closing you into the vehicle.
He puts your bag in the back trunk, then slips into the driver’s seat.
Seungcheol’s hand finds your thigh, and he squeezes gently, offering you a small smile. “I know we’re planning on having you stay the night, but if you decide you don’t want to sleep over, I can always drive you home later.”
“Cheol,” you rest your hand on top of his, “I think we both know I’m not going to take you up on that offer.”
“Sure, but I figured I’d put it on the table regardless.”
You smile, leaning in to steal a kiss to his cheek, as he had when he helped you into your seat. “You’re too sweet to me.”
“You deserve it,” he insists, giving your thigh another squeeze before reaching for the ignition.
The car revs to life.
It’s hard not to stare at Seungcheol while he drives, and luckily, his hand returns to your thigh, giving you something to focus on. You take to playing with his fingers, marveling at how handsome every inch of him is.
“Vernon called me yesterday,” Seungcheol says, dragging your attention from his hands.
“Oh?”
“He admitted to slipping up and giving Bora ideas.” Seungcheol lets out a small chuckle, “said you looked like a deer in headlights when he arrived to the conversation- she was pressing you for details, huh?”
“Not in a bad way,” you tell him, wanting to defend the woman who you’re already coming to think of as a friend. “She was just- curious.”
“It’s my fault for not being specific with you about the NDA, or with Vernon for that matter- the NDA is primarily for when we go to work events outside of our inner circle, which is why your best friend is mentioned on the form you signed- it seems both Vernon and Mingyu were under the idea that I wanted to be highly secretive about us- but I’ve explained to them the nuances of it all. The next time you see Bora, please, feel free to discuss it with her, or Vernon, or Mingyu, Wonwoo, Minji- as long as you’re not too specific with Yumi, you can consider the baby a confidant as well.”
He’s obviously joking about the baby, but the mention of the child brings those same warm fuzzy conflicted feelings that you’d experienced last night at the get-together.
There will be a time to talk with Seungcheol about his seemingly dualistic baby fever and baby aversion- but tonight is not the night for it.
You’re thankful he’d even brought up the topic of Bora and the NDA, and already, what little anxiety you’d felt about this whole thing has been substantially dwindled.
“I really liked your friends,” you admit, thinking back to how pleasant the evening had been. Despite Bora’s teasing and prying, she’d been nothing but a courteous host when Seungcheol and Mingyu had predictably rejoined you in the living room.
“They liked you too, angel. I knew they would.” He lets go of your thigh in favor of gently taking your hand.
You can already feel your panties beginning to get wet-
No man’s hands have ever had this effect on you before- and maybe it has to do, in part, with the whole ‘quirofilia’ thing-
Or maybe, Cheol is simply a man made by the hands of god himself- after all, how could he be this perfect without something like divine intervention?
Before you know it, you’re at Seungcheol’s house, and he’s pulling into the underground garage, where he parks next to the rolls-royce you’re accustomed to being driven in.
Ever the gentleman, Seungcheol makes sure to come around and open your door for you, your duffle swung over his arm. He refuses to give it back to you, insisting on carrying it up to his home, where the two of you head to his bedroom instinctually.
He sets the bag down, turning to look at you, opening his mouth to say something-
But your patience has already run thin, and you all but launch yourself at the broad man, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and pressing your lips to his while his hands find your waist.
He laughs into the kiss, and you think he must not have been expecting you to jump him like this.
Doesn’t he know the effect he has on you?
“Cheol-” you groan, moving your lips to his neck-
“Eager, angel?” Seungcheol reaches down to cup your bum, prompting you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. “It was hard being close but not able to properly touch you at the gettogether-” he says, taking a few steps back and collapsing down onto his bed, steadying you on top of him, “Could hardly even get work done today-”
“Was I that distracting for you, daddy?” you coo, teeth teasing past his earlobe.
He releases a groan, hands digging into your hips, forcing you down on his cock, which presses up against his dress pants, caught between your bodies. “Always.”
“How can I fix it?” you wonder out loud, hands already going for the buttons of his shirt. “I wanna make you feel good.”
“You do, angel,” Seungcheol tells you, “make daddy feel so good.”
“Wanna make you feel even better-” Then an idea comes to your head, “How about… a massage?” you suggest, thinking back to a paragraph you’d read from his book yesterday. “Aren’t you the one who claims relaxation time, such as stretching, massages, and the like, can be just as beneficial to the mind and body as activity itself?”
“Look at you, quoting my own work at me,” he releases a deep groan. “Are you sure that’s what you want to get up to tonight?”
“Just to start,” you tell him. “We have the whole evening- and tomorrow morning- why not start the night off with something like a massage? And work our way into…” you swivel your hips, “harder things.”
“I like the sound of that, angel,” he confesses with another sigh of pleasure as you kiss the sweet spot just under his ear. “But you’ve got to let me get up so I can grab massage oil.”
You’d forgotten about that part, and the idea of letting Seungcheol leave you - even for a moment - brings out a bratty side of you that you’ve never truly experienced.
It takes all your willpower to concede, getting off of the man who sits up and runs a hand through his hair. “You okay?” he questions, seeing the shift in your energy.
“Yeah,” you nod, “just hurry.”
He laughs, reaching out to gently pinch your chin between his thumb and forefinger. The kiss he places on your lips is as chaste as your first had been, and it leaves you tingling with potential, even as he stands and heads to the ensuite bathroom.
In his absence, you begin to take off your clothes, removing everything down to your bra and panties, and then, just for good measure, you settle onto your knees on the foot of his bed, trying to be as patient as possible.
You’re rewarded when Seungcheol appears in the doorway again, having stripped himself of his shirt. There’s a bottle of baby oil trapped between his teeth, and his hands are working on his belt and pants-
When he sees you sitting on the foot of his bed, like the best girl there ever was, he lets the baby bottle drop from his mouth, catching it easily in one hand- “look at you,” he breathes, scanning your form.
“Like what you see, daddy?” you tease, skin heating from the attention he gives you.
“Love it,” he tells you. “How good are your reflexes, darling?”
You open your mouth to respond, only to have him toss the bottle of oil at you.
Unlike him, you don’t catch it gracefully, the bottle almost slipping out of your hands- there’s a small fumble but your digits wrap around it-
Seungcheol laughs at you. “With butter fingers like that- should I be getting us a towel to put down?”
You hate that it’s a legitimate question.
And you doubly hate that the answer is a resounding yes, which you verbalize to him, annoyed that he’ll be leaving again-
But then you’re graced with a full view of his beautiful back when he turns to head into the bathroom again, and you decide to be a good, patient girl for just a few more moments.
Seungcheol returns, and you bite your tongue while you watch him set the towel down, but as soon as it’s settled, you find yourself saying - in something like a command - “on your stomach first,” you’re quick to adjust to your tone, “I wanna work your back out a little to start.”
“How could I say no to that?” Seungcheol grins, following through and laying flat on the towel.
You nearly drool while watching him adjust his arms, propping his head up with both hands under his chin. His biceps are bulging and your mouth is definitely beginning to water again, prompting you to lick your lips-
“Have you given many massages before?” he asks, as you straddle his hips, continuing to marvel at the shape of his perfect form-
“Erm- define many?”
He chuckles, and you flip the cap of the baby oil, allowing the liquid to pour into your palm. “I’ll take that as a no.”
“It can’t be that hard,” you tell him, bringing your hands to the muscled back that has you wet like the ocean every time you see it.
“Tell that to my chiropractor,” he says, a joke that makes you both laugh.
You begin to work away at his muscles, both hands smoothing up and down his back, focusing in on the shoulders you love so much-
“Feels good,” Seungcheol groans, releasing a deep sigh of relief that has your ego shooting through the roof.
“That’s good daddy,” you tell him, leaning over him and applying more of your body weight as pressure for your hands. “You deserve to relax.”
He chuckles slightly, and you realize you’re picking up on some of his diction. Hasn’t he been the one telling you what you deserve thus far?
All it takes is you being on top and you begin to emulate his mannerisms, the soft dom tendency towards praise.
You can tell he’s enjoying it, and you are too, your panties getting wetter with every second your hands are on his broad shoulders-
“Can you flip now?” you prompt, knowing it hasn’t been that long that you’ve been working on his back- but you miss his face, and you’re eager to get your hands on his chest-
With a grunt of affirmation, Seungcheol begins to turn, and you lift yourself off of him enough to allow the movement. Once he’s on his back, you settle down again, capturing his cock between your bodies as it strains against his pants.
“You like this position, huh?” he asks, smiling up at you with an expression that exudes adoration.
His hands find your thighs, rubbing up and down while you get more oil on your palms. “Not always,” you tell him, beginning to massage his chest, “top can be fun to start, in some cases, but- I really liked being under you the last time we were in your bed.”
“Oh yeah?”
You avoid his gaze, knowing your skin is heating from what you’d just admitted. “Uh huh.”
“You’re cute,” he breathes, rubbing circles on your thighs, “getting all shy while sitting on top of me like this.”
“I’m trying to focus,” you tell him, trailing your fingers down to his abdomen.
“You look a little dazed, darling,” he presses, “are you sure you don’t want me to take over?”
“I’ve hardly massaged you yet-” you go to argue, but Seungcheol is already making the move to sit up.
He grabs a fistful of your hair and tilts your head back the way he had last time- his breath is hot against your throat, and he trails his nose up under your jaw, bringing his lips to your ear. “What if I don’t care about the massage anymore?”
“Then-” you swallow thickly, pussy throbbing when his free hand unclasps your bra behind you, “then, okay.”
“Okay?” he chuckles. “My love, I don’t think ‘then, okay’ is a sentence.”
“Fuck me?”
“Not too sure that’s a sentence either, but, your wish is my command.”
It seems like the easiest thing in the world for him to discard your bra and flip you onto your back, lips finding your own, tearing your breath away.
Your legs tighten around his waist, and his oiled chest slides against yours, your newly freed nipples pebbling at the direct contact-
One of his hands, slides between your bodies, skimming over your breast and cupping it, squeezing. You release a moan of pleasure, hips bucking, pushing up towards him-
Your own hands slide over his slippery shoulders, and you mentally kick yourself for having lubed him up- there’s hardly anything to grasp onto, so you latch onto his hair instead, kissing him harder.
He releases your breast, hand slipping down and under the waistband of your panties. When his fingers find your core, they tease past your clit, and you can feel the silkiness of the baby oil on his digits, which glide into your wet hole as easily as ever.
“Cheol-” you moan desperately, wanting to push your hips up- to get closer, but he holds you down with his large body, lips moving to your neck.
You realize, as his expert fingers crook up and find your gspot, that the last time you’d fucked, he’d never fingered you. You’d gotten to experience his tongue and his cock, but the middle and ring fingers that explore your pussy have something like trained exactitude, hitting the spot that has your toes curling with deadly precision.
“Oh my god-” you whimper, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck, looking for an anchor while he begins to thrust his digits into you with enough force that your hips begin to rock-
The palm of his hand applies pressure to your clit, rubbing you through the rough manhandling that has you achingly close to an orgasm within no time-
“Gonna cum?” he prompts in your ear, hot breath making your skin tingle.
“Yes, daddy-” it’s the most you can do to hold onto him and clench your eyes shut, an intense feeling of euphoric pressure erupting between your legs-
“That’s it gorgeous, let it all out-” he groans, fingers unrelenting-
You can hear your pussy, squelching sinfully around his fingers- and you can feel wetness gushing between your thighs-
In the back of your mind, you realize you’re squirting, cumming completely undone on his hand, but you’re too lost in the feeling of it to care.
He finger fucks you to the point of overwhelm, until your whines and whimpers are hoarse and tears well in the corners of your shut eyes-
And then he’s pulling his hand out of your panties, and the soaked material is left to cling back to your sopping hole.
Your arms go slack, landing on the bed next to you, and Seungcheol pulls away from your body, making you moan desperately, eyes opening to watch him-
“I’m not going anywhere, angel,” he promises, pushing his own pants down before kicking them to the side, then he goes to tear your panties off, and you see, for the first time, how truly ruined they are. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone squirt this much,” he tells you, discarding the fabric so he can rejoin you on the bed, the both of you fully nude. “Did that feel good?”
“So good-” you whimper, hardly able to form sentences in your delirious, sex induced brain fog-
Seungcheol slots himself between your thighs again, cupping the side of your face, thumb brushing away the tear that’s escaped your eye. “Do you need a moment?”
“No!” you’re quick to protest, locking your legs around his hips. “Fuck me- daddy- please-”
You don’t think any cock has ever entered you as smoothly as his does, aided by the copious amount of wet arousal still dribbling out of your hole.
Seungcheol tucks his face against the crook of your neck, supporting himself above you with two hands buried into the pillow on either side of your head. His lips are feverish against your throat, and the groans he releases as he begins to fuck you make you as horny as ever.
“You feel so fucking good,” he moans, rutting into you with a pace and power that increases with every slap of skin on skin- “so perfect for me-”
“Daddy-” you whine, clawing at his back while he ravages your insides.
“So responsive-” his teeth graze past your neck and you shiver, whole body tingling with delight.
“Harder-” you moan.
“Harder?” he releases something like a laugh, and then you hear him swallow, adjusting his position so he can dig his elbows into the bed, hooking his forearms under your own shoulders, which props you up ever so slightly- enough to change the angle and allow him to follow through with your request.
You release a squeak at the feeling of being completely at his mercy, completely wrapped in Cheol while he’s wrapped in you- the perfect combination really.
The sounds escaping you aren’t something you can hold back, and each rough thrust has his cock hitting a spot deep inside of you, a spot that has you becoming a mewling, moaning, whimpering mess for him.
“Just like that-” you tell him desperately, grabbing at his hair, eager to hold onto something while you get fucked into oblivion-
“You close, gorgeous?” he asks, and all you can do is moan, which makes him chuckle, “yeah you are,” he breathes. “Squeezing daddy so fucking tight- you were made for this, weren’t you, angel?”
“Yes-”
“Made to be fucked-” he growls, rutting into you even harder-
You’re not sure where sweet, soft dom Seungcheol has gone, but you’re more than happy to be decimated by the man fucking into you like an animal, and his sinful praisings go straight to your pussy, which clenches around him even more.
“That’s it angel, that’s it-” he groans, “just a little more-” one of his hands moves to grab your thigh, hiking it higher on his waist-
He hits a spot that has you seeing stars, and you gasp loudly, crying out-
“Cum for me,” he instructs, and before your mind has even registered his words, your pussy is following through with the command, clamping down onto him while the biggest orgasm of your life slams into you like a freight train.
Seungcheol lets out delicious sounds of pleasure, gasping against your throat, fucking you through your orgasm while coating your insides with his own release-
You’re completely surrounded by him.
There’s nothing else, only you and Cheol… and perhaps the ruined towel below you, dragging against your back with each rough thrust.
His motions begin to slow, and he comes to a stop, collapsing some of his body weight down against you while you both struggle to catch your breath.
Neither of you say anything, too lost in the aftershocks of pleasure.
But with Cheol, you don’t need to say anything. You’re completely safe with him, completely content to rest in his arms, knowing there’s not a single place in the world you’d rather be.
11: Saturday
Waking up in Seungcheol’s bed, you immediately stretch in search of him- only to find the bed empty.
Sitting up, and wrapping the quilt around your nude body, you look around, blinking away residual grogginess.
The man who’d fucked you silly until the late hours of the morning is nowhere to be seen, and you can’t help the way annoyance floods through you. But you remind yourself that Seungcheol likes his schedules, and a quick check of the clock next to the bed shows you that it’s eleven am, so you suppose you can’t be mad at Cheol for not staying with you while you slept half the day away.
Getting out of bed, you’re surprised to find just how sore your body is.
Your thighs burn- and you suppose a round number five riding session may have not been the best idea last night.
You find the simple black sleeping shirt Seungcheol had given you before deciding to tear it off of you for round six, and you enjoy the way it dwarfs you.
Sometimes you still can’t believe how big and broad Cheol is-
Finding your overnight bag, you take out a fresh pair of panties, and decide to head off in search of Seungcheol in the simple shirt and underwear look. It’s doubtful you’ll be wearing it for much longer regardless.
It’s not hard to find your psychologist lover, after all, you simply have to follow the smell of food to the kitchen.
Your sugar daddy is standing at the stove, one hand holding a spatula while he cooks eggs, the other propping up a book that he’s quietly reading.
He’s so sexy and smart- and sexy… and smart.
You can’t help but tiptoe towards him, latching onto his back and pressing your cheek against the space between his shoulder blades, releasing a groan of pleasure to finally be connected to him again.
“Morning, angel,” Seungcheol greets you, setting his book down before adjusting you, tugging you so you’re in front of him and he can meet your eyes. “Did you sleep well?”
“Better than ever,” you beam at him, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “And you?”
“Never better,” he returns your smile, and your heart practically melts. “Hungry?”
“Definitely- are you my master chef today?”
He laughs. “I’m not sure I’m that good, cooking is a hobby I’ve only truly picked up in recent years.”
“Right,” you say, turning in his arms to look down at the pan in front of you. “Very hard ingredient, eggs.”
Seungcheol releases a cross between a chuckle and a sigh behind you, poking at your ribcage. “I can make more than eggs. I just figured, I don’t really know what you like when it comes to food, so I’d make something safe and healthy. Besides, I wasn’t sure when you’d wake up.”
“So this is just for you, is that what you’re saying?” you tease him some more, enjoying the domesticity of this- it’s as if you’ve done this a hundred times before, or at least, you have the peace that comes with familiarity.
“If I had known you were such a brat-” he begins, but you cut him off with a squeal and turn to face him again, insisting “I’m not a brat!”
He simply looks at you with a smile.
“You’re being mean to me,” you pout, cupping the back of his neck and getting closer to him.
Seungcheol scoffs, shaking his head slightly. He’s quick to change the subject. “Eggs are done, are you going to come sit with me at the table?”
With a sigh, you release the psychologist, allowing him to move the eggs to a plate- and when you turn to head to the table, you see a tray of fresh fruit and other breakfast items.
“There’s orange juice in the fridge, water, or I can make you some coffee,” Seungcheol says, following you to the table where you both take your seats.
“I’m okay for now,” you tell him, grabbing a particularly tasty-looking piece of fruit to gnaw on. “Thanks, daddy.”
Seungcheol smiles, looking down at the healthy fruit options. “You know,” he says, moving a few pieces of cantaloupe and honeydew to his plate, “I’ve been wondering about you and your daddy kink.”
“Hmm?”
“Just that- we’ve never discussed it, not explicitly- I guess, being a sugar daddy, the term is in the name, but… you took to it very easily,” he explains.
“Are you suggesting I have inherent daddy issues?”
“Not suggesting, merely… wondering.”
“How about this,” you set your fruit down, “I’ll talk about my daddy issues when you tell me why you think you’d be a bad father.”
Seungcheol looks at you quizzically.
“I know you say it’s about your work and not having enough time, but- you’re settled in your career and reputation. You have this big house, a chauffeur, a group of smart psychologist friends who are popping out babies right now- and I saw the way you were with baby Yumi. looking at all of that- the only reason I can think of for why you’d be… adverse to babies, is that you have some personal reasons to think you’d be bad at it.”
The man across from you stays quiet, leaning back in his chair, but a smile works its way across his face. Then, he sighs, “touche.”
“So I guess neither of us will be talking about our daddy issues at the breakfast table,” you conclude, picking at your fruit again.
“How did I ever find a girl like you on a dating site?” Seungcheol says. “So pretty, and smart-”
“How did I ever find you on a dating site?” you retort, “so sexy, and smart-”
“Maybe finding each other was destiny.”
“Do you believe in that sort of thing?” you ask, cocking your head to the side. “Many men of science that I’ve heard of tend to lean towards atheism.”
“Maybe I used to, but then- let’s just say, I found an angel, and my world’s been flipped upside down ever since.”
Your heart leaps in your chest, and you avert your gaze, looking down at your fruit. “You’re too sweet to me.”
“As I’ve told you before, angel,” Seungcheol reaches his hand across the table, placing it over your own, “you deserve it.”
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! this fic was never supposed to be this long- i don't know what came over me- it was very self-indulgent :) hope you liked it!
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below!
🔮 preview. You can’t believe how easy it is for Seungcheol to get you quaking for him- but you suppose, in some sense, you’re always quaking for your sugar daddy, who’d turned the entire trajectory of your life around the moment you’d met.
cw/ tw. oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, daddy/breeding kink, bickering like an old married couple, praise, semi-bondage, size kink, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, etc...
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.3k I teaser wc. 370
🌙 staring. seungcheol x afab!Reader
bonus teaser
“Are you checking your book sales again?” you groan, leaning over the back of the sunlounger chair to look over Seungcheol’s shoulders, your hands smoothing down his bare chest-
“No,” your psychologist lover says, closing his laptop and setting it on the side table next to him.
“Liar,” you grin, moving around the front of his chair so he can see you and the red bikini adorning your body- one of many sets you’ve accumulated over the two and a half years you’ve been dating Seungcheol.
You have no actual intent of going into the private pool behind you.
Seungcheol’s eyes eat you up, and the smile of appreciation that works its way onto his lips is as bright and full of affection as it’s always been. “Look at you, angel. I’ll never get tired of seeing you in red.”
“Ass kisser,” you tease, watching him stand up from the poolside chair. “I thought we agreed no work on our honeymoon.”
“It’s true that I promised that- but… checking sales on my new book isn’t work, it’s… checking sales on my new book, and besides, you were asleep,” your husband grins, hands finding your waist and tugging you to his chest. “What if you pretend you never saw me on my laptop.”
You roll your eyes. He’s gotten cheekier the longer you’ve been together, and this playful side of your relationship isn’t something you’d trade for the entire world.
“You always get up to naughty things while I’m sleeping,” you tease, playing the part of an upset wife.
“Come on,” Seungcheol prompts, leaning down to kiss you, “say you love me.”
“I’ll say I love you when you fulfill your other promise.”
“You know, we’re what, three days into this vacation?” Seungcheol pulls you closer. “Who’s to say I haven’t already pumped a baby into you?”
“Me,” you grin, hooking your fingers in his swim trunks. “I don’t feel full at all right now, in any way, shape, or form.”
“Well then, let’s see what I can do about filling you up sufficiently,” he smiles, leaning down to kiss you one last time before throwing you over his shoulder and taking you back into your private vacation villa..
God, you fucking love this man.
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