#last years review is embarrassing as fuck
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So I have a performance review coming up and for interest sake I pulled up last years out of fear of rating myself lower than I did then/indicating I’ve regressed in any way.
Reading through it is PAINFUL. If I ever go for an autism assessment, I’m bringing it with me for a very real life example of LOOK, look at what working is like for me with this fucking brain of mine. This self evaluation alone will tell someone all they need holy shit lol.
It’s pages upon pages of me describing social problems I’d had that year and various things I didn’t understand and was hella confused about (norms, expectations, why people act the way they do, various things I did that made people upset and not knowing why, etc) that I now know are definitely autism related but back then I attributed to me being dumb or dense or just mysteriously incapable. I’m so fucking oblivious in the reflections that I’m actually just probably very autistic, and social communication is a huge area of difficulty for me.
It’s weird filling it out this year. There’s a lot less confusion to write about. At some point in the last year I’ve shifted into treating myself as if I am autistic and it has made my life so much better and alleviated so much distress and suffering because I can let go of the things that used to make me fixate on the confusion and the need to understand and pick everything apart. This year’s review I’m just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i am who I am and I don’t care that people respond negatively at times to my social incompetencies or my failure to mask some days. I’m honestly tired of fighting myself on these things all the time and releasing that has brought me peace. I don’t have the time or energy to spend 20 minutes adding fluff into single emails just to hope I avoid sounding direct or brash. If I’m emailing about a specific thing, I’m just gonna email about a specific thing and forgo whatever formalities I’m supposed to use because that drains me and I’m tired of it. My colleagues can fucking deal with it and focus on the task at hand so we can do our jobs and if they wanna think I’m rude then go right ahead. I have other things that require my limited energy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#it’s been an entire attitude overhaul that has really helped me in a lot of ways#last years review is embarrassing as fuck#I wonder if my manager knows about this lol. she’s very astute. I’m sure she does#the amount of time she spends helping me script conversations and discussing social norms? she has to realize I’m autistic#she offers me a really intense level of support I don’t think most people would#when I met that kid this week the meeting got canceled but I was already there after driving an hour and a half#I called her to be like what the fuck do I do at this home visit?! there’s no meeting to provide structure. what do I SAY#and she scripted out a bunch of things for me. like she always does. she knows I need specifics and she gives me lots of specifics#her patience for me being like this must come from her understanding that I’m not quite right lmao honestly she is amazing#the fact that four years in I still need her help with this stuff on a weekly basis. she has to know my brain ain’t typical.#but she takes the time and it helps me do my job and I rely on these scripts and her walking me through situations and it helps me work#so#this job doesn’t pay me enough but the natural accommodations are exactly what I need and damn this years review hits different 😂#personal#work stuff#probably autistic#sleeping pill cocktails#aia
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#me opening my notes app this morning bc i had written down things i wanna review today before my study session#and instead opening a whole fucking exercise about my ex from last year 💀#it’s literally a whole novel i’m so embarrassed#i
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🤡
#just logged in to my GP patient account out of curiosity to see what records i could access#and found out the person who processed my last medication review (which was submitted online and included me going into heavy detail#about how terrible my mental health was and the ways in which i was struggling the most and how small my life had become)#was processed by an old school friend i haven't seen or spoken to in 15 years#and now i am so overcome with embarrassment i don't know what to do with myself :)))))))))#HAHAHA#what the fuck#putting it here so i don't cry#might cry anyway#throw me in the sea#the thing is she was so deeply unhelpful afterwards lmao but i didn't KNOW IT WAS HER#thanks for nothing *******#hope ur well though#FUCK
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This semester's summary: existential crisis, existential crisis, existential crisis
#ah and 💸💸💸#so im always good in words compared to action so theory is not bad but my skills is lacking#im aware of it but im always a bit slow to catch up and all and that's one of my biggest insecurity#anyway today we had our last review skills session and i was unfortunately standing nearest to the trolley#so i was selected to do the tracheostomy suctioning and boy thats one of the skills that im really bad in#and i was struggling so bad and im shaking and my group has the top students and while i give no fuck you can see how they judge me#and the person in charge for that section is a master student who is having her assessment and i really dont want her to get bad results#so more panic and insecurity#but throughout the session she still guide me patiently and even say like its okay youre doing great and all#and by the end of it i got the grip of it but i was so upset with myself and regret everything#but then she lightly touch my arm and said its okay youre doing really well when i obviously fucked up#and then i just.. cried#what a good thing i wear a mask because two of my course mates are tested positive today because damn#and i keep on pretending to wipe my glasses when i was actually hiding my tears like damn this is embarrassing#but... i really want to thank her personally but i cant even talk just now and i dont even know if i will meet her again#because i really am doubting myself lately and that word is really comforting and i really needed to hear it#god 2nd year sucks i didnt even cry throughout my first year even when i did the worst presentation of my life and look like a dumbass#i always rant here you guys must be sick of me lol#personal.txt
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Duuuuuuuude I just have to say that I just went on the most awkward first date. Like this guy asked ME on the date. I get there, he doesn’t even open the door for me, he doesn’t pay for my ice cream (which like I get that I’m an independent woman and everything but like it’s just chivalry idk) and just also he barely talked to me, I was the only one asking getting to know you questions or otherwise we just sat there is complete silence. Also he like stared at me the whole time and it was super uncomfortable. So I was just thinking like assistant reader telling the 141 guys about something like that and all of them boasting like “I’d treat you way better” and stuff like that
Please this has assistant!reader all over it i love
Coming into the base the morning after a h o r r i b l e date, absolutely horrific. Sitting at your desk with a pout on your lips, typing away at some mission report Price had asked you to review for him, when you hear the heavy fall of boots stop next to you.
“Lieutenant.” You greet, voice short and you can see Ghost frown at you. “Wha’s the matter with you?” He questions, crossing his arms over his chest, and you could just see the raised eyebrow.
You don’t meet his eye, fiddling with your fingers before he’s flicking you between the eyes with a sigh, pulling away before you can slap his hand. “I asked ya a question.”
“Do I look like one of your runts?” You snap, only to let out a shrill squeal when he grips the arms of your chair and yanks you up to him, bending down so he’s almost nose to nose with you.
“Spit it out.”
“Am I boring?” You blurt, and for the first time in the two years you have worked for Price (by extension, his team), you see a genuine look of surprise in his eyes.
“The hell you mean ‘borin’?” Ghost tilts his head, eyes narrowing and you fidget in your chair, this is the LAST man you’d have thought you’d be having this conversation with. “It’s just… I went on a god awful date last night and he made me feel like I was the most boring person on the planet. He just kept staring at me, like a staring contest. I kept trying to get to know him but he just kept shrugging, I don’t think he spoke three words and it was so fucking uncomfortable Simon.” You’re embarrassed at the tears brimming your eyes, rubbing at your eyes with the palm of your hand, sniffling.
You chance a glance at his face, and you can see the look of annoyance in his eyes, and you curl in on yourself. “Sorry, I-“
“What kind of daft cunt ruins a chance with you?” He scoffs, and your eyes widen but Simon just keeps on. “I mean, really love, where the hell did this man even take ya?”
“Ice cream…” You reply weakly and Simon lets out an honest to god snort, shaking his head. “You don’t even like ice cream that much, I woulda taken ya to that little bake shop around the corner that you love so much.” He huffs, and your heart flutters, heat crawling up your neck. “How-“
“And you are not borin’, if you have failed to notice, you bring a certain… warmth to these cold bastards.” He nods towards Price’s office, his eyes crinkling around the corners and you feel your own smile tugging your lips.
“Really?” Your voice is small, but Simon just leans a little closer, and you swear his eyes dart down to your lips.
“Why dontcha let me take ya out properly, yeah?”
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🍒 The Devil’s Tongue 🍒
Michael Gavey x Reader (PART ONE)
summary: you transferred into Oxford after moving out from your country for a better change, and unexpectedly meeting Michael Gavey in a quiet library, leads to something more.
warnings: creepy vibes from michael gavey, reader being oblivious, stalking, michael being horny, p in v sex, loss of virginity, jealousy, misunderstandings, obsession, belt kink, panty kink, scent kink, voice kink, breeding kink, michael gavey being a smartass, michael gavey is horny for math, michael gavey is a smartass, clueless reader, nerdy yet hot michael, lust at first sight, sex in the library, sex on the table, kitchen sex, oral sex, cam girl, fingering, sex during tutoring session, reader teasing, reader being a dominatrix in bed, food porn.
a/n: i forgot to review the movie saltburn last year, so I’ll give it a short review. Saltburn is a weird movie, but i watched it because of Ewan Mitchell. While ewan mitchell is 10/10, saltburn is 7/10, because of the bathtub scene and the grave scene. the only thing that’s good is the cinematography, music and ewan mitchell. i wish there’s more scenes from him. yes, i keep saying his name! he’s so fucking hot as a nerd. this one shot will be long.
You like cherries.
There’s something mysterious and tempting about the roundish and reddish fruits. Cherries are sweet, and it’s dark-reddish color brought an appeal to your appetite and. Appeal that also changes your view in fashion.
And as hot as the Devil’s tongue.
Red symbolized lust.
Sinful, they proclaimed.
So does your pussy, when you splayed across the bed, watched as Michael entered and his face bewildered when you splayed naked in bed with thick whip cream smothered on your tits, waist, and your pussy decorated in whip cream swirled with cherry on top.
"Hi, baby. I've been waiting for you," you said as your legs spread, thick of whip cream and candied cherry cascaded slowly.
***
A Year Ago…
Your parents and your attention seeking relatives are no good. Red is as sin as lust—the devil’s skin, the devil’s horn.
Other than black and pink, you like the dark-cherry color. All your aesthetics are cherry red—well, the undertones to match your little room at your small house belongs to your parents.
Them and their sinless views of the world has sickened to your stomach. You don’t want to be like your hypocritical, martyr parents for the rest of your life, so you applied for the university at Oxford and Northamptonshire. You got accepted to the university. Despite being a young woman, you managed to prove them wrong.
And sever ties with them to go at the University of Oxford, where you encounter numerous people. You’ve done research to get things right—not to be frigid or superficially pretentious; you didn’t want to embarrass yourself on the spot if you chose to be ignorant.
One thing that no one else knows of you, is that you moonlight as a dominatrix on a live stream. Every night, you broadcast online to pleasure yourself—that’s how you got money to bail from a strict and hypocritical religious household.
Few of the students looked at your direction, giving a side-eye. You overheard them calling you a prostitute, but you couldn’t care less. Dress to impress for yourself. You mostly wore bike leather jacket, a tank top, mini skirt and a chunky dark-cherry red boots with light make up, but the lipstick is glossy dark red—and not the irritable, sticky kind.
Your long locks tossed at the side, already at your assigned room, but you shut the windows completely. You don’t want to reveal the private side of your internet sensation. After closing the curtains, you’re off to the hall, where people gathered and talk, mainly about drama and parties.
You hadn’t known one. But you had party to yourself of gaining source of income from self-pleasure.
There you sat down, and overheard someone at your left. Afar, you saw a young man named Oliver Quick and another guy with nerdy glasses.
Michael Gavey.
“Fuckin’ ask me a sum then!” The chatter dimmed when a young man shouted about math.
No one really likes as the guy with the nerdy glasses does. But he does look cute when he’s fuming.
Maybe he’s sexually frustrated. All it needs is I need to work on a poor guy. Poor guy is so frustrated—a no man island himself, like Oliver Quick.
You could tell. So you chimed in.
“What’s the square root of 69”
Both boys turned to look at you.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Oliver inquired, perplexed.
“Oh, just a curious person asking him a question,” you said, jerking your head towards the blond and cutely frustrated boy.
“8.30662386292,” is all the blond uttered.
Your lips tugged into a smirk, and left.
Interesting, now I have a new kink to look forward to for my next kinky session.
***
It’s quite luxurious for a library—grand yet old like wines in the cellar. You studied Political Science and Art, and while you studied and sometimes drawing, but a certain snack bar caught your eye; it was placed above your drawing.
“I got you a crunchie,” a voice said. You turned and saw Michael Gavey.
“Oh, um, thanks?”
“I have never seen you before,” he noted.
“Really? So do I.”
“As a matter of fact, you have disrupted us during our friendly conversation.”
Oliver Quick was anything but friendly and comfortable.
“Okay and?”
He quirked a brow. “Your attitude is unusual.”
“Well, where I came from, it’s not really an issue. I’m a straight forward kind of gal,” you explained.
Michael hummed, staring at you.
“Pardon my rudeness. I’m Michael Gavey.” His hand stretched out. “I never get your name.
“I’m (Y/N) (L/N).” You offered a handshake in return.
“Where are you from?”
“I’m from America.”
“Ah, yes. The land of freedom,” he commented, trying to make you laugh.
You laughed awkwardly. You have never smiled or laughed before—in a non-superficial way. You laughed and smiled during as a cam girl, but other than that, you never smile genuinely.
Somehow it caught his eye. His glasses beamed that you could see the color of his hues.
“An awkward foreign girl.”
“Yeah, so? I’m not really a people-person.”
“Why did you come here, then? For a good fuck?”
Ghastly, you turned around to see if anyone catches his words, but nobody pays attention.
“Are you going to the party?”
“What party?”
“The party Felix and his friends are heading tonight.”
“Who the hell is Felix?”
Michael darted his eyes behind you, and followed the sign; Felix and Farleigh sat at the back between the shelves.
“Apparently, he’s hosting a party tonight. NFI, me and you. Not Fucking Invited.”
“Well, I don’t a fuck about parties that much.”
Michael tsked. “That’s a very strong language.”
“Says the guy who says NFI. Besides, I don’t like parties,” you said, and it wasn’t a half lie. You have an upcoming camgirl session tonight.
“A shame,” Michael said, then reaching for the crunchie.
You have never tried snacks from another culture.
“Is it good?” you asked him.
He ripped the snack bar open, and gave you a piece. “Try it and see for yourself.”
And you did.
It was worth it.
Nevermind how Michael watched you in fascination.
***
The roofs and walls of University has been but a sham; it was real quiet.
Too quiet.
You hated quiet rooms.
In your next session, your fingers swirled your swollen clit, thinking of Michael Gavey’s rosy lips and tongue licking and nibbling your wet cunt and a tight hole.
You never fucked anybody, but you wanted your first time to be special. You rode on a dildo, trying not to moan so loud, but you come down high. The faster you moved, the more erotic images of a nerdy Michael seeping into you.
This is my kind of party.
***
Somewhere, in a darkened room, Michael Gavey’s hand filled with cum, and his other hand pressed the send button on his computer screen.
It was sensational to see.
You.
Who would’ve thought he met you—a famous camgirl.
He couldn’t stop thinking about how your eyes twinkled when you ate crunchie for the first time—far from the horniness and snobbish act you put up in public. It was a delight to see . With your outstanding getup and attitude, he knew that he’s in a right place.
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#michael gavey#michael gavey x reader#fanfiction#fanfic#x reader#reader insert#reader#female reader#saltburn#ewan mitchell#smut#writers of tumblr#writer#ao3#writerblr#writers#angst#michael gavey x you#michael gavey smut#ewan nation#saltburn fanfiction#fluff#my wrtitng#ewanverse#tumblr#write#saltburn 2023#archive of our own#saltburn x reader#SoundCloud
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hi sweetheart
May I request a Minji smut 😿 like anything you want but with a sassy rude Minji and bottom reader 😓😓
this is my first non anon request 😭🤭
Kim Minji x F!Reader
A/n: HI SWEETHEART!! Tysm for the request and It was fun making it! sorry bc takes so long to do bc I wrote it in full but I saw that you hadn't asked for gp and I was so behind with my studies that I couldn't finish it sooner...This is fucking long AND I'M NOT GOING TO REVIEW THIS
Warnings: smut, fanservice, Possessive jealousy, swearing, fingering, cum eating, oral(r and m) sucking breast, pet names, face sitting (m receiving) scissor and idols being mentioned in the middle of sex
If you were to be completely honest, it wasn't your fault about the lack of attention towards Minji, you were one of the most famous people in your group and you needed to do your mc paper, promoting ships and rehearsing the songs
But Minji couldn't think, your relationship was private, but it never went this long without sex, not that she's needy obviously
And it seemed like every day that passed seemed like everything was against her, literally everything
when you arrived at her dorm wearing only her sweatshirt she could feel herself blushing, and taking advantage of the fact that there was no one in the dorm what she thought she grabbed you fiercely, your body seeming tiny against hers, her lips tasted you desperately, her red lips tasting everything of yours, going down to your neck and giving open kisses, not even minding your hand on her arm trying to push her away, but not making any effort
That is until she hears the dorm floor creaking with hurried footsteps, while the voices of what could be considered Hanni's and Hyein's voices resound in the dorms, coming from Haerin's dorm to Danielle's and coming straight to Minji's.
you hurriedly move away from minji, wiping the remaining saliva from your lips that belonged to minji, and move away from her when you see bulging eyes looking at you, it was hanni and she could already feel the tension "did I disturb somethi-" she asks reluctant "no" you and minji interrupt her in unison
"The director said we're going to do a collaboration with some groups for this year's mama" Hanni says, a smile on her face and her eyes shining.
If you knew what would happen, you would have refused, they again made you join the famous idol from each group, making 3 group formations, the first group having you, wonyoung, yunjin and Miyeon, the second group being, Hyein, Leeseo, Eunchae and shuhua, and the third group was Minji, gaeul, Sakura and yuqi, they always left you far from their members to put you with the most popular ones, last year you were with Karina from aespa and it was the most viral news of the week
now you are on the other side of the room, while the director tells you to stay in the center while wonyoung and yunjin kiss your cheek and you do aegyo, all the groups have different directors and you can see Minji never looking away from your director as if that magically makes her change his mind and she can perform with you
" did you understand Kim minji?" the director speaks while minji continues paying attention to her director until gaeul softly calls out to her "Kim minji?" then she blinks softly and her cheeks flush "I'm sorry, what were you saying?.." she mutters and bites her own lower lip in embarrassment "you're going to wear an outfit matching one of the girls" how ridiculous, that was the height of it, she never had talked to any of the girls before and was going to have to do this? "Are all groups going to do this?" she asks, coming out thicker than she thought "they're going to do worse" the director murmurs and looks at your group "they're going to do worse, believe me" the director says once again and looks back at the girls in front of him, without noticing how Minji frowns and one of her eyebrows is raised, great thinks Minji
Minji could feel herself blushing when she saw your performance outfit, she felt like a dirty girl for being horny in a particularly normal outfit, she doesn't know if it was because her lips looked so tempting and she could only imagine what they would look in her strap as your eyes sparkled and you choked on its length, she swallowed and looked away from you, her lips forming a straight line as she waited for the makeup artists to finish putting on her makeup and tying her skirt, everything seemed perfect until she heard a two producers talking about you and yunjin "they would make a perfect ship" "I think she suits wonyoung better" and then she realized that you were going to get involved in yet another dating rumor with another bitch, not her.
The way to Mama was more tense than you thought, you always tried to talk to Minji, like saying her hair was cool, but she purposely pretended not to hear you and went straight to Haerin's side, holding her hand and whispering things in her ear. You can feel yourself tensing up and you narrowed your eyes, moving closer to hanni and grabbing the upper part of her arm "Do you know what happened to minji?" you whisper in her ear, as you continue walking towards the stage, hanni jumps a little and her eyes widen "you scared me..." she sighs and looks ahead "no...is she normal?" She raises an eyebrow "ok" you murmur as you drag your hand out of her arm's reach and resume walking following the members of your group
the performance was even more tense, minji didn't take her eyes off you and didn't even hide it, it was shameful, while you hugged wonyoung and she kissed your cheek the audience went crazy and from the side you could see minji burning your side straight from the head , almost as if he wanted to read your mind, when the presentation ended, You were on your way to the van and stopped at a place for people to take photos, something traditional, your place was on the left next to Minji but surprisingly now danielle stole her place..
When you arrived at the big van, you were going to sit in the front so as not to disturb Minji, but she nervously pulled your wrist and made you sit on her lap at the back of the van, the other members were too tired to see this, you could feel yourself blushing as you Minji's nails dug into your inner thigh and her warm breath blew on your neck
"W-what are you doing minji?" you mumble softly, as you try to adjust yourself but every time you move, Minji's nails dig deeper into your thigh "nothing" she says bluntly, while looking at the window
You remain silent, not knowing what else to say "Did you have fun with wonyoung?" she says, the question hanging in the air, while Hyein's snoring and low music coming from danielle's headphones is heard" i said" She keeps talking "Did you have fun with wonyoung?" the question now comes out more like a growl
you bite your lower lip, hesitant to speak, you know that anything and she would get more stressed "I don't know" you say hesitantly, a laugh sounds softly, making your body shake slightly "You little bitch.." she says, your hand coming down your skirt, you blush and instantly close your legs "h-hey...minji" "shut the fuck up" she says rudely "if you wake the girls up, it won't be good right?" she says ironically in your ear
she opens your legs without your will, you can feel her mischievous smile without even seeing it, she puts her hand inside your panties, feeling your wetness "you're wet" she says moaning "how come you didn't want that?" She says, running her hand all over your folds, rubbing your wetness until you reach your clit, she rubs it, you can feel it throb with sensitivity, Minji circles it firmly in her fingers
" Don't make any noise okay" she says softly and inserts two fingers at once, easily entering your hot walls, you feel something hard in your ass and you already know that Minji is hard
your legs shake slightly, as minji moves in and out quickly, your body quickly becoming aroused and wetter, minji towers over you and kisses your neck, leaving wet kisses on the corner of your neck "you're so tight, i always fuck you and You always look like a virgin" she says bluntly, the comment bringing a strange feeling in your belly of excitement.
with every second that passed you felt that sensation coming, and minji could feel you squeezing her fingers, her other free hand went down to your clit and squeezed it and then rubbed it "come for me" she says, her voice hoarse, with more After a few thrusts you cum, you let out a slight scream, which makes Haerin move in front of the van, your legs shake uncontrollably, while you let out small whimpers while Minji continued rubbing your clit, after a while she pulled away, removing her fingers from you. inside your pussy, and before you can process it she shoves them inside her mouth, closing her eyes and savoring it like it's a delicious food, you blush and hit her arm "idiot" you mutter as you adjust yourself on her lap, Minji gives a mischievous smile and moves away, putting your panties in place, making you feel dirty with cum, making you uncomfortable, and she knew it.
The van didn't take long to arrive, when it arrived at the dorm, Minji was the last to get up, as you arrived at the elevator, it was silent, Minji had her hand on your waist firmly while Danielle was almost asleep standing, haerin looking at the ceiling and hyein and hanni talking about watching a movie today
" I was so scared, the van was making noises and moving strangely" Hanni in the middle of the conversation "Did you notice that too?" Hyein says with wide eyes "I think it was from Danielle's headphones, she just sleeps like that" Minji enters in the conversation, justifying, the two girls seem to think and nod their heads in agreement
when the elevator arrives the girls get out first, minji forcing you to wait for the girls to get out
She wraps her fingers around your wrist and pulls you towards her room at the end of the hall, it seems like something has finally worked out in your life
She throws you into the room, closing the door quickly and pinning you to the wall, moving her hands not so subtly to your breasts, squeezing them like balls, feeling everything you want in her hands "M-minji, not here" you try to say but her lips get in your way, your tongues meeting aggressively
"Shut up" she says her fingers going down to the hem of her blouse, playing with her until pulling her up, throwing her anywhere in the room and grabbing her waist while pressing her hips with yours, making your head to spin
her hands go up and she goes to the clasp of her bra, her fingers fumbling with the clasp until it releases with a click, falling to the floor and her breasts are exposed to minji, her eyes shining
She quickly puts her right breast in her mouth, the sensation making it harden, Minji runs her tongue in circles over it while she raises her hand to the left and holds it between her fingers, rubbing it, then let go of the right breast and move on to the other, sucking them eagerly, you put your fingers on the back of her neck and pull her impossibly closer, minji moaning and immediately stopping "I bet you're very wet" minji says her lips letting go your breast with a pop and going straight to your mouth
minji's hands go down to your shorts, fumbling with the buttons because she's kissing you, on a shelf your shorts are on the floor
"let me see this princess" minji murmurs, squatting in front of you and seeing your transparent panties in excitement, she licks her lips and gives a smile, without even bothering to look into your eyes, she had a priority
She kisses your clit through your panties, making you shudder, she slides the panties aside and immediately sinks into your wet folds.
She licks your clit and lowers it to your entrance, her hands holding your thighs that were shaking, She circles your entrance with her tongue and sinks in, you instantly moaning loudly, she looks at you "if you moan loudly I'll stop, hyein can't hear that" she growls and sinks in again the sensation of nothingness making you shudder
She takes one hand off your thigh and circles two fingers at your entrance, immediately sinkings "I can't wait to fuck you" she murmurs, her fingers opening forming scissors inside you as you hold on to her shoulders for dear life, your legs going wobbly and almost falling to the ground, the combination of Minji's tongue and her nose hitting your clit and your fingers in your pussy, hitting that spongy spot made you scream, she was hungry, and she sucked your pussy like she was starving, she was desperate for this sensation
You could feel yourself getting close to the edge with every second that passed and when minji moved her fingers inside you and doubled them that was when a sudden explosion happened, your whole body shook with pleasure and you put your hand over your mouth to try and push the fingers away. inevitable moans to come out
when the pleasure was diminishing minji got up, taking off her clothes and revealing that she was wetter than she thought, she was soaked, when she took off her own panties she pulled you to the bed, opening your leg and getting on top of you, for a second staring at you until she sits up, the feeling of your clit against hers making you and her roll your eyes at the same time
you are sensitive from the past orgasm, and the sensation of your entrance rubbing against minji's made you squirm, minji's juices were making you more wet, your pussy and minji's were in sync, your clit hitting her entrance and then rubbing her pulsating clit
“Tell me no one makes you come like me, not even wonyoung” minji growls, demanding as she puts her hand on the back of your neck and pulls your hair, forcing your head back"f-fuck minji.. n-nobady" you babble, too focused on pleasure to know how to pronounce a word, minji bites her bottom lip, her mouth opening in a silent moan as she desperately rubs against you, their pussies making a wet noise that echoes throughout the room. "Ahn..ah... I'm going to cum" minji moans, bringing her face closer to your neck and sucking, leaving a mark" please...i-i...fuckk" minji moans loudly rolling her eyes and gripping the sheet, when she cums her legs tremble against you, but you are getting close to your own climax so you continue rubbing against minji's swollen clit, seeking your own pleasure
minji was getting overstimulated because of the pleasure and tried to push you away but you didn't care, your clits collided 3 times in a row then your turn finally came, you fought not to scream, your head spinning with pleasure
after you and minji cum you look at each other for a few seconds until minji separates from you, a string of cum connecting your pussy to hers, her pussy was swollen and red "clean me" minji says bluntly, She doesn't even give you time to respond, her head fogged from the old pleasure, she just goes in front of you and opens her legs in your face, you just accept it, eyes closed and just open your mouth, leaving your tongue for Minji to use
minji immediately sits on your tongue, rubbing her clitoris on your tongue, the taste of her left you addicted, the taste of your juices mixed with hers made you drunk, despite being tired you closed your lips on her clit, sucking and shaking her language in it
minji seemed closer and closer to the edge, then with a thrust she pulls your hair closer to her, suffocating you in her pussy, you do as you are told, minji seems to be very focused on the pleasure and with a thrust she cums, closing her legs on her head, her ears ringing from how tightly she closed her legs
After a few minutes she gets off of you, laying down on your side, panting and pulling you "Sorry" she murmurs "f-for what?" you say breathlessly "I wanted to fuck you in the middle of the people in your group..but I couldn't" she says normally and closes her eyes, her body relaxing "uh..why?" you say
no response.
You groan in pain and look up, seeing Minji already sleeping "good night" you kiss her forehead and close your eyes
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Best friend's Bachelorette Party
~a/n: Inspired by on the most beautiful fanart I've seen on twitter by minoru_uwuarts. Here’s a Christmas present for my fellow Wrio lovers. Probably my last fic to end the year. Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone! Enjoy!🥰❤️
~warnings: some plot, smut, male stripping, mentions of blowjob, cunnilingus, jerking off, fingering, squirting, consent, gentle face fucking, ends in some fluff, fem!reader, MDNI!
~summary: Being the maid of honor, you throw your best friend a bachelorette party and order a male stripper. He tells you to meet him in the guest bedroom after the party. You took him up on his offer and it was not disappointing...
~word count: 5.9k
Being the maid of honor was a very busy job. The jobs included helping prepare for the wedding, getting invitation cards ready and sent out in the mail, helping the bride choose her dream wedding dress, and many other jobs. One of them included the bachelorette party. Your best friend said anything you planned was fine for her party because she trusted your tastes. In the past, you remember she mentioned wanting to get a stripper. Being the maid of honor, you wanted to fulfill her one and only bachelorette party of her dreams, so you did as she asked.
You've never ordered a stripper before or even gone to a strip club. It was a bit of an embarrassing new experience but it was for your best friend! While searching online for the best professional strippers who had good reviews and made house calls, you came upon a website called Celestial Temptations. It was a very fancy and elegant website that had a list of many different types of professional male strippers. They showed a picture of each gentleman with a personal description below it. Scrolling through the many types of male strippers was a bit exciting and made it difficult to choose which one to hire because they all looked gorgeous and sexy. You kept in mind what your best friend's taste was in men while deciding. You came across one in particular that caught your eye. His name was ‘The Duke’. He was a buff, handsome man with black and gray hair with part of it looking like animal ear tufts. Scars littered his skin but they added to his beauty. He wore a professional business suit that was open to show his torso and chest, tie loose as he pulled on it in the picture. You rubbed your thighs together, already getting excited just from his picture alone.
His description read: The Duke. "A man of mystery who will do anything to please a woman. "
You were already taken in by the picture of this man but his description just pulled you in more. Clicking on his profile, you get more information about him like his age, height, likes and dislikes, turn-ons and turn-offs, etc. You click on the 'order services' button and put in your information and payment, all the while, your heart is pounding with excitement. You get a confirmation email, telling you that the order went through and The Duke was booked for your best friend's bachelorette party. This was going to be an interesting party..
~
The night of the bachelorette party finally came and you were excited for your best friend to have the best time of her life tonight. Deep down, you were also a little excited about the 'special entertainment'. While the soon-to-be bride and guests were busy opening gifts, the doorbell rang. You figured it was the long-awaited entertainment. "I'll get it!" You hurry to answer the door, making sure that everyone is preoccupied with the bride. You open the front door to see a tall, handsome man that looks exactly like the man from the picture that you ordered for. A charming smile graces his facial features. A smile that makes your heart skip a beat.
"y/n, right?" You lose your train of thought when you hear his deep voice but soon snap out of it.
"Um yes! That's me. The Duke, correct?" He gives you a flirty smile and replies yes. You blush. "Follow me. I'll show you where you can get ready." Opening the door wider, you let him in and close it behind him as he scans the front room of the house. He then turns to you, smiling, "Lead the way." You lead him to a spare bedroom down the hall. As he followed you, he kept checking you out from behind without you knowing.
You open the door to the guest bedroom, letting him enter first. "Here you go, you can prepare in here and we'll do the show in the living room where everyone currently is." He sets down a bag on the bed and already begins to take off his jacket. You're able to see his back muscles flex through his shirt. His deep voice breaks your daze. "No problem. I'll be ready in five." He says as he turns to you, giving you another one of his charming smiles. You quickly turn around and get ready to leave but then he stops you. "Oh, and make sure you get a front room seat. I do a little something special for those who catch my eye." He teasingly says. Instead of turning around and replying, you simply shut the door. Leaning your back against it, you try to calm your beating heart. You could feel the heat in your cheeks and also between your thighs. You're finally able to calm down and gather yourself, pushing those feelings down. He says that to a lot of women probably. It's not that special, you think to yourself.
You head back to the living room to see that everyone has finished watching the bride-to-be open her presents. You gather everyone's attention. "Alright, ladies! We have a special show for everyone, especially for the main lady of the night." Noises of excitement and curiosity fill the room. You turn the bride's chair around so she's facing towards the hallway where the entertainment should enter from. "I remember you asked for a very special entertainment for your bachelorette party. So, I did my duty as maid of honor to fulfill that wish." Your best friend gets all giddy, getting an idea of what this 'special entertainment' could be. “Would it have something to do with that metal pole you installed today?” She points to the stripping pole connected to the floor and ceiling nearby in the room. You smirk, acting oblivious. “I’m not sure. I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”
You grab a blindfold from your pocket and wrap it around the bride's head, covering her eyes. You dim the lights and turn the stereo on to play some sexy music to get everyone in the mood. Everyone begins to chant and cheer for the 'special entertainment' to come out, the bride especially.
Wrio hears the music play and the women calling for him so he takes that as his cue. He opens the door and walks down the hall towards the living room where the audience is waiting. All the women cheer as soon as he enters the room. His charming, seductive smile added to the sexy aura that surrounded him. "This must be the lucky lady." He walks towards your best friend and kneels before her. You remove the blindfold covering her eyes and once her sight focuses, it lands on the handsome man in front of her. She blushes as he takes her hand in his, leaving a kiss on the back of it. "I'm The Duke. I hear you're getting married soon. I better do my best to make your last night as an unmarried woman the most memorable one ever." Squeals and cheers fill the room once again, letting the man know to start the show. You take a seat nearby, grab a specialty drink, and take a swig of it.
While checking out The Duke, you notice he changed his outfit from earlier. He's now wearing a black suit with a red tie around his neck. His pants fit snuggly to his legs, accentuating his nice ass. Pulling on his suit jacket, he takes it off, tossing it somewhere in the room. Oh god, how can this man make taking off a simple jacket so sexy? Next, he begins to loosen his tie and unbutton his dress shirt. Whistles fill the room when he completely removes his shirt, showing his buff body and muscles. Your eyes scan his bare upper body, admiring his chiseled abs, ripped arms, and the scars that litter his skin. He grabs the blindfold from the floor, wrapping it around his eyes and tying it.
He walks over to the bride, and grabs the bottom of her chair, moving her to be positioned right in front of the stripper pole. “Gotta have front-row seats to the show.” His hips sway to the beat of the music as he grabs onto the metal pole and swings on it. He’s able to effortlessly climb the pole to the top of it, with his back to you as you can admire his ass and back muscles that flex when he grabs the pole. Wrapping his legs securely around it, he leans back until he’s facing the audience upside down. His hands grip the pole between his legs, holding him as he slowly slides down the pole. Screams and cheers fill the room once again. A flirty smirk covers his face from hearing the ladies cheer for him. Calling out to the bride seated in front of him, he tells her to take his blindfold off. Wasting no time, she unties the blindfold, letting it drop to the floor. The sight of his blue eyes gazing intently at her while doing his signature smile would make any woman’s legs turn into jelly. He slowly slides himself down the pole, face right in front of her legs. He uses one hand to grab her leg, positioning it to the side of his head as his hand moves up her leg to her thigh, making the bride blush. He removes his hand before going any further, leaving her wanting more.
He turns his head to where you’re sitting, eyes landing on you. Winking at you, he beckons you over with a finger. You’re hesitant, not wanting to take the attention away from the bride-to-be, but she walks over to you, grabs you by the hand and pulls you over to her seat in front of him. Plopping you down, you make eye contact with The Duke, his gaze sending tingles down your body. He uses both of his hands to slide up your legs, slowly easing up to your thighs. Similar to what he did to the bride but with you, he doesn’t stop himself at a certain point. Hands move further up to the inside of your thighs, almost touching your core. Blushing and slightly embarrassed from knowing people are watching, you try to close your legs but he prevents you from doing it. He chuckles at your actions. Removing his hand, he grabs your hand, pulling it to his abs to feel it. The feel of his soft, chiseled abs does something to you. You get entranced by the feel of them, slowly rubbing your fingers up and down his stomach. He brings your hand to his mouth, leaving a sweet, short kiss on the palm. Suddenly, he pulls you by the hand so your face is near his, eyes widened with surprise. He whispers in your ear, Meet me in the guest bedroom after the show. Your thighs clench together as heat goes down to your core from his mysterious words. He releases his grip on your arm, allowing you to pull away. You’re in a daze from your small interaction with him, but a cheer of “mores” from the guests breaks you out of your trance. You gain your composure and get up from the seat, allowing the bride to sit back down to have her turn again. Walking back to your seat, you’re left wondering what he meant with his words. What would happen if you did meet him in the guest bedroom after the party? The curiosity eats at you, leaving you wanting more. He knows the effect he has on you. That was his plan after all.
~
Once the entertainment was done, the party was officially over and the guests began to leave. You close the door once the last guest leaves. Joining your best friend on the couch, you're exhausted. Your best friend tells you how much she enjoyed the party and thanks you for it while hugging you as her words are slurred. She's wasted. You laugh, laying her down and putting a blanket over her. Once she settles down, she brings something to your attention.
"I think the stripper has the hots for you."
"What?" You pause, surprised by what she said.
"Yeah, I could tell how he looks at you, especially during the special dance he gave you."
"Yeah, okay. I'm sure that's just him acting for his job."
"Nope, I can tell. I'm psychic and I know he has the hots for you. He's probably waiting in the guest bedroom for you right now. You should go in there and see." She says, her words slurring more as she begins to get sleepier. "If you don't go in there and fuck him, you're not my maid of honor anymore."
Rolling your eyes and laughing at her. "Whatever you say. You're drunk. Go to sleep." She begins to snore, signaling that she's passed out. You think about what she said in her drunk rant. You can't help the thoughts of what if she's right. Shaking your head, you ignore the thoughts and head to the guest bedroom where The Duke is waiting. You knock on the door and hear his deep voice saying Come in.
Opening the door, you see him sitting on the bed, legs spread. "I was wondering if you'd take me up on my invitation." He stands up and walks over to you. Your back leans against the door as he hovers over you. He cups your cheek, his thumb rubbing on your bottom lip, feeling the softness of your lips. He thinks about how nice they'd feel against his own. Not wanting to wait any longer, he presses his lips to yours. You feel the sparks as his lips finally touch yours. Hot, passionate kisses that take your breath, making it hard to breathe. His tongue invades your mouth, exploring and intertwining with yours. You feel like you’re suffocating, but it feels so good. His kisses are addicting. His hands move to the bottom of your shirt. "Raise your arms." Raising your arms, he pulls your shirt up over your head.
Once he discards it to the floor, he pulls you back into a kiss. Rough, calloused hands explore your upper half. Starting from your hips, up to your waist, and around to your back to unclasp your bra. It falls to the floor. His large hands cup your breasts, groping and pinching your nipples. You moan into the kiss. With an arm around your waist, he slightly bends down, wrapping his lips around your bud and sucks, as his free hand fondles the other. The tip of his tongue plays with the tip of your bud, hardening it. The feeling of your bud hardening under his tongue makes him moan. Your head falls back as moans leave your lips due to the pleasure. You comb your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to your chest. He switches to giving your other breast the same treatment with his tongue, playing with the previous one with his hand.
Once he's done giving your breasts attention, he moves back up and kisses you while his hands move down to your thighs. He enjoys the feel of your soft, squishy thighs. If only they could be wrapped around his head. "Jump". Jumping, he catches you by the back of your thighs as your legs wrap around his waist. Not breaking the kiss, he carries you over to the guest bed, pushing you down onto it. His lips travel down to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses and hickeys. Your legs tighten around his hips, holding him close as you grind against his crotch, looking for some friction. "Someone's eager for my cock." He chuckles and teases.
The smirk leaves his face as your hand cups his cock through his pants, his breath hitching when you rub it. He grabs both of your hands, holding them against the bed next to your head. "Patience. I'll fill your pussy with my cock soon but first, I need a little taste." He litters kisses down your chest to your stomach. Letting go of your hands, he moves to the button on your jeans, unbuttoning it and pulling your pants down your legs. Tossing it to the floor, he spreads your legs and notices a wet spot on your panties. "Already wet for me and I've barely done anything." Fingers move to rub against the wet spot, making you moan. He leans down to lay on his stomach, switching his fingers with his lips. He kisses your pussy through your underwear, the wet spot growing. He experiments with the tip of his tongue, rubbing it against you. You groan from the little friction but it's still not enough. "More please." You quietly beg.
He moves your underwear to the side, enjoying the sight of your bare pussy. "Beautiful." You get embarrassed as he just lays there, admiring your pussy. "Don't just stare." You blush as you try to close your legs but he blocks you from doing that. "Sorry, I can't help myself." He shows his apology by rubbing his fingers between your folds, finally touching your pussy to help relieve the stress from the long wait. You gasp out at the feel of his rough fingers on your most sensitive spot. Rubbing your clit, one finger prods at your entrance, slowly teasing it. You whimper, silently telling him more. He pushes his finger inside you, feeling your tightness. He begins to slowly pump his finger, testing the pace as he rubs your clit. Moans fill his ears as he quickens his pace. You're already close, feeling the warmth in your lower belly. When you're about ready to cum, he pulls his fingers out, leaving you disappointed. "I'd prefer it if you came on my tongue for your first orgasm."
Slipping your underwear off and discarding it with the rest of your clothes, he spreads your legs wide, giving him full access to your core. It's a bit embarrassing but that soon leaves your mind once his mouth latches on your pussy. You moan aloud at the new sensation. His mouth was much more pleasurable than his fingers. His tongue licks your clit, switching between flicking his tongue and sucking. Your head falls back as you intertwine your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp. You already begin to feel that pleasurable warmth again in your lower belly when the pace of his tongue quickens. His tongue moves to circle your entrance, before sliding into you. He uses his thumb to rub your clit as his tongue explores your insides. The simultaneous pleasure finally pushes you over the edge as you cum on his tongue. Your sweet flavor decorates his taste buds. He groans from the delicious taste, the vibrations of his moans, and his continuous motions helping you to ride out your high.
You begin to feel overstimulated, wanting a break, but he wants more. "Gimmie more. I know you can." He replaces his tongue with two fingers, pumping them into you at a quick pace as his tongue flicks and laps at your clit. It feels so good but too much at the same time. You're not sure if you want to push his head away or pull him closer to your core. You begin to feel the warmth again, more intense this time. "Come on. Come for me. Come on my face, beautiful." He says against your pussy as he continues to pump his fingers and lick your clit at a fast pace. The warmth finally snaps in your belly. You squirt on his face, your sweet nectar filling his mouth as he tries to devour all of it, not wanting any drop to be wasted. Your beautiful moans fill his ears as he continues, his pace unrelenting. This causes you to quickly come again, tears filling your eyes at the immense pleasure. Something you've never felt before. You want more.
He begins to slow his ministrations, helping you calm down from your three climaxes. Rubbing your thighs and leaving a kiss on your pussy, it causes your thighs to twitch and a whine to leave your lips from the sensitivity. He moves back up to your face, melting his lips against yours, making you taste yourself as his tongue intertwines with yours. "Want to taste my cock now?" You eagerly nod your head, wanting to return the favor. "Good girl." He pecks your lips and gets up to stand at the edge of the bed. "On your knees." You shakily move yourself to your knees on the bed, face right in front of his covered cock. He stays silent, waiting for you to unbutton his pants.
Your hands move over to his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping. Pulling his pants down, he steps out of them. He's still dressed in his underwear but you can see the large outline of his cock. You grope him through his underwear, admiring the length of it. "Look who's being the tease now." You look up, eyes meeting his. You notice the dark lust in his eyes, silently begging you to free his cock. You hook your fingers in the waistband of his boxers, slowly pulling them down. His cock springs out as his underwear falls to his feet. You gape at the sight of his cock. Large and thick with a vein lining the bottom of it. "Like the view?" His voice breaks you out of your trance. You nod your head. "Good. Now wrap your hand around it." Wrapping your fingers around his thick length, you slowly move your hands into an up-and-down motion. You spit on his cock to make it easier to jerk him off. “Suck my cock.” You lick his tip, swirling your tongue around his head, and insert it into your mouth. Sucking on his tip, you slowly take him inch by inch. His thick girth is overwhelming but feels so exciting. He grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail, moving your hair out of your face, giving him a better view of you sucking his cock. “Good girl. Try to take a bit more. Show me how good you are at sucking cock.” His lustful words turn you on more. You want to please him.
You slide him out of your mouth, a pop sound is heard when you remove your mouth from his tip. Moving his cock up, you place your tongue on the base of his cock, near his balls. Keeping eye contact with him, you lick a long stripe up on the underside of his cock, all the way to the tip, and slip him back into your warm mouth. You go at a medium pace while sucking his cock, continuing the deep eye contact, causing him to twitch in your mouth. “Fuck. You really do know how to suck cock, don’t ya?” You moan in reply, the vibrations around his cock making his breath hitch. “Can I fuck your mouth?” A muffled ‘mhm' is heard as you give him consent. Holding your head in place, he begins to gently thrust into your mouth. You relax your jaw and place your hands on his thighs as you let him use your mouth.
Looking up, the view above you is glorious. He’s looking down at you, watching you intently. When you lick one of his sensitive spots on his cock, he moans. Hearing his moans makes you happy, knowing that you’re able to make this hot man feel immense pleasure. Wanting to hear more of his moans, you use one of your hands to massage his balls as you suck his cock more. Curses leave his mouth as his head falls back with his eyes closed. You’re making him go crazy. He’s never felt this much pleasure before. But it’s not enough, he wants more of you.
He pulls you by your makeshift ponytail, pulling you off of his cock. "Get on your hands and knees for me." Listening to him, you turn around, getting on your knees and hands. He rubs the side of your thighs, up towards your ass, and gropes it. Grabbing his cock and giving it a few pumps, he rubs his cock head between your folds, teasing your clit. You slightly whine, wanting more, you shake your ass. He chuckles. “Patience beautiful. I’ll give you what you want in due time. You have to tell me what you want though.”
“Fuck me, please. Make me cum on your cock.” Embarrassment has long left you, mind too dazed from the lust and want for him to have his cock inside of you. It’s more than a want, it’s a need. “For you, anything.” He prods your entrance with his tip then finally slides his head in. Slowly sliding himself inside your pussy, you flinch a bit by his massive girth. It’s been a while since you’ve gotten laid and your previous boyfriends never had a size like The Duke’s.
Once you’ve relaxed and gotten used to his size, he slides his cock out to the tip and thrusts back into you. He continues this, turning into a steady pace. The view of his cock disappearing inside of you and the sight of your ass bouncing against his pelvis causes his control to falter. Sounds of your moans, the pap pap sound of your ass hitting his pelvis, his grunts, it’s becoming too much for you. His hand wanders over the expanse of your back, slightly pushing down on it, signaling you to arch your back so his cock can reach deeper into you. He’s hitting your soft spot, the shocks of pleasure shooting up your body, making your arms jelly and causing you to fall face-first into the pillow. Your moans are muffled into the pillow when he quickens his pace. He wraps his arms around you, pulling your upper body up against his chest. “I want to hear you. I want to hear the sounds you make when you finally cum on my cock.” He says into your ear. His hand slides down your stomach to your clit, rubbing it while thrusting into you. His head moves down to your neck, sucking and licking another hickey onto your skin.
One of your hands holds onto the arm that’s stimulating your clit while the other goes to his head, fingers interlocking with his hair, pushing his head into your neck. Your nails dig into his arm, but he doesn’t care. It excites him. His free hand grips your jaw, turning your head to face his own, pulling you into a breathtaking kiss. The softness of his kiss compared to his hard, deep thrusts makes your head dizzy and pussy tighten around him. You break the kiss, crying out as you cum on his cock, juices leaking down your thighs. Your legs shake from the exhaustion of being on your knees so much. He’s unrelenting. The pace of his actions does not falter one bit. You already want to cum again, and you don’t mind. You don’t want him to stop, lust taking over your mind, making it hard to think straight.
He’s getting close as well. The tightening of your pussy around his cock with the melody of your moans filling his ears edge him closer and closer. Until he suddenly pulls out. You’re confused and disappointed as you’re denied your next orgasm. You turn your head to look back at him, whining for more. You’re about to ask him why he stopped, but the question is unable to leave your mouth as his hands grab you, flipping you over on your back. He crawls over you, pressing his chest into yours as his weight pushes you into the bed, making you unable to escape his intense gaze. Hands grab your wrists, pinning them to the bed on each side of your head. Sliding himself into you, he doesn’t hesitate and continues his quick pace. He looks into your eyes, intent on watching your facial expressions as you fall over the edge once again. “I want to see your expression when I fill you up.” He whispers against your lips before connecting his own with yours. Your moans are muffled in a passionate kiss as his thrusts get deeper and slower. Every time he thrusts in and out of you, his groin rubs against your clit, adding to the pleasure. He breaks the kiss, giving you the ability to speak. “Fuck. I’m gonna cum again. Don’t stop. Please.” He smirks as he pushes his hips down against yours, moving his hips in a circular motion, sending more pleasure to your soft spots.
You cry out as you release your nectar on his pelvis and cock. You twitch and shake under him as he continues his thrusting, whining from the overstimulation. You feel him twitch inside you the closer he gets to his orgasm. Wrapping your legs around him, you urge him to cum. He loses his self-control and grabs your thighs, pushing them to your chest, and pumps into you quickly. Tears fill your eyes from the sensitivity, conflicted about whether to tell him to slow down or speed up more. He grunts and moans above you. His beautiful, addicting moans. He moves his hand to your clit, rubbing it in circles. When you once again cum on his cock for the nth time, that finally sends him over.
He quickly pulls his cock out of you and moves to hover himself over your belly, straddling you as he vigorously pumps his cock. His head falls back, sensual moans fill the room as his seed spills over your breasts, covering them in his sticky, warm liquid. Once he finishes emptying himself on you, he topples over on the bed, lying next to you as you both try to catch your breaths.
“I thought you were going to cum inside.” You sheepishly say, trying to hide your disappointment. He turns his head to look at you and he notices the slight disappointment on your face, making him chuckle. “I don’t do that on the first meet. But if you really want me to, go on a date with me.” He turns onto his side and wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. “You gonna pay for me this time?” You tease, smirking. “Of course. What kind of gentleman would I be if I let a pretty lady like you pay.” You chuckle in reply, but a thought nags you in the back of your mind. “Do you say this to all of your clients?”
“Nope. I usually don’t sleep with clients. It’s a rule in my business contract.”
“Oh no, are you going to get in trouble then?” You ask, slight worry in your voice. He only chuckles, leaving you confused. Cupping your cheek, he kisses your lips. The kiss only lasts a few seconds but it portrays his feelings. “I don’t mind breaking the rules if it’s for you. There’s something about you that makes me addicted to you. Plus, the sex was mind-blowing, don’t you think?” You gently slap his chest. “Such a sweet talker.” Drowsiness and exhaustion start to consume you, making your eyes heavy and yawn. He tightens his hold on you, resting your head in the crook of his neck. Once settling down, he notices his own exhaustion due to a very busy night. Both of you soon fall asleep, satisfied.
~
Sun rays peak through the crack in the curtains, shining on your face, causing you to stir and slowly open your eyes. Groaning, you rub your eyes to ease the sting of the sudden blinding sunlight. You move to turn away from the sunlight, but you notice that something is blocking you from doing so. You feel a solid build against your back and a strong, heavy arm wrapped around your hip. It takes you a second to gather your surroundings, the memories of last night a slight blur. You remember some moments from the bachelorette party. Playing games, opening gifts, serving drinks, then the entertainment part of the party. You slowly begin to remember what happened after the party ended. Accepting the invitation from The Duke and meeting him in the guest bedroom, then having your face shoved in the covers as he pounds into you from behind. You blush once you finally remember everything.
You slowly turn your head to look behind you and your questions are answered when you see The Duke is the one lying behind you. You carefully try to remove yourself from under his arm, trying to avoid waking him up. Suddenly, he wraps both of his arms around your waist, hold tightening as he pulls you close to his chest. "Where do you think you're going?" He whispers in his deep morning voice, nuzzling into your neck. “Um-m I need to get ready for my friend’s wedding.”
“There’s no rush. It wouldn’t hurt to get a little bit more rest. Or we could get a little session in before you have to leave.” Littering kisses down your neck, his hand gropes your body, making you excited. “As tempting as that sounds, don’t forget, I’m the maid of honor so I have a lot to do on the day of the wedding.” You move to sit up in the bed, pulling away from him to stop yourself from falling into the trap of being ravaged by the handsome man again.
He grabs your wrist when you try to get up, moving your hand to his lips to leave a kiss on it. “When can I see you again?”
“Well, since you do owe me a date, how about you come to the wedding with me as my date?”
“How could I deny a request from a beautiful lady.” He teases, inching his face close to yours. When he goes to kiss you, you stop him by putting a finger over his lips. “Best we get ready then.”
“Not even a small kiss, especially after how close we are already.” Smiling, you move your face close to his, lips slightly grazing each other. Just as he thinks you’re about to kiss him, you pull back. “Later. After you get ready.” Disappointment is shown on his face this time, making you giggle. Getting up, you start heading towards the guest bedroom bathroom. You turn back to look at him. “Come on, let’s shower.” He throws the blanket off of his bare body, getting up to follow you. You can already see his cock is hard again, causing heat to shoot down to your core. While lost in your thoughts, he picks you up, getting you out of your daze. “Come on. Didn’t you say you have a wedding to get ready for, maid of honor? You can admire my cock in the shower while getting ready.” He says, his signature flirty smile graces his face. Geez, he was going to be the death of you.
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Hello, how about first time with soft dom hitoshi shinso? shy reader.
Maybe size kink? shinso's cock is like, uhm, HUGE!!
ఌ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈
꧁ 𝙃𝙞𝙩𝙤𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂
Word count › 2.2k
Rating › NSFW
Warnings › none
Kinks › small size kink and creampie
╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
╰┈─➤ BEGINNING
(Name) was nervous to say the least. He had been dating Hitoshi for over twelve months now and this was the first time he was staying at his place for the weekend. (Name) knew that Hitoshi had been leaving with Aizawa for over a few months by now after something that he wasn’t told.
He was curious but knew to not ask incase Hitoshi got embarrassed.
What (Name) was mainly worried about was having sex. They were a year old couple and hadn’t had sex once. Whenever (Name) tried to hint that he wanted it, like tugging at his pants, Hitoshi stopped. He had never seen his boyfriend naked!
Just what the hell was Hitoshi hiding?
(Name) had come to the conclusion that Hitoshi had a small cock.
That’s why he never wanted to have sex! He must’ve been embarrassed. (Name) smirked to himself, ah, poor Hitoshi. He would have to show his boyfriend that a small cock won’t bother him. (Name) was a virgin himself but nothing a few BL mangas couldn’t fix on what a top needed to say.
Needless to say, he was ready to dominate his boyfriend and have him screaming the night away.
In retrospect, it would be (Name) that would be doing the screaming.
(Name) sat in Hitoshi room’s bedroom as he waited for him to finish his shower. He read a BL just like this moment. The bottom had finished showering and the top threw him on the bed and they just started fucking.
It would be hard to throw Hitoshi on the bed as (Name) was on the smaller size but no matter! As top, he must try his hardest.
The door to the bathroom opened as Hitoshi came out…
Already dressed.
Ah.
Hitoshi softly smiled at (Name), “ready to watch the movie?”
(Name) simply nodded as Hitoshi turned on the tv in his room. It was a medium sized tv sitting on his dresser. (Name) wasn’t sure why he felt so dejected at his plan failing but he pushed it away. Couples shouldn’t rely on sex anyway.
It wasn’t like he was horny all the time…
Like he wanted to have sex with Hitoshi every time they make out…
No…
No, he was normal.
Hitoshi sat down on the bed, leaning towards (Name) as he pressed play for the movie. It was a thriller movie that had good reviews. (Name) pushed away any horniness he felt earlier and decided to enjoy his time with his boyfriend.
He could always try again later.
ꕤ
He didn’t.
He didn’t get to try again later because before he knew the weekend was over and he was back in the dorms. (Name) cried himself to sleep last night. The week went by just as fast as the weekend. It was already Friday when (Name) got the thought he never wanted.
Maybe Hitoshi didn’t like him.
He knew it wasn’t reasonable. Hitoshi was honest. He would’ve broken up with him if he wanted to. But why haven’t they had sex yet? It’s been longer than six months. A full year! They were second years now.
Was he undesirable?
Should he get as sexy as those tops in the BLs?
Possibly. (Name) groaned but decided he must do it.
To get the sex he deserved from his boyfriend.
It started out simple. He followed what the BL manga told him. Tops usually acted stoic and wore looser clothes. Sometimes tighter to highlight their muscles but (Name) didn’t have muscles so he ignored that step. It was an experience.
Hitoshi and many of his other classmates thought it was a bit weird how different he was acting. One even commented that he must’ve been copying Todoroki. But it did get Hitoshi to pay more attention to him so (Name) believed it was in the right direction.
His little experience only lasted a full week until the next Friday when Hitoshi was in his dorm room and said:
“You’re going to be done with this weird act soon, right?”
“Uh, no! It’s the new me!” (Name) grinned, quickly frowning at the unimpressed look his boyfriend gave him. The white noise of the movie in their laptop filled the room as the two boys stared at each other on the bed, waiting for the other to speak.
(Name) bit the bullet.
“I know why we haven’t had sex yet!” He gulped, a blush on his cheeks.
Hitoshi blushed himself. “Oh… How’d you found out?”
“Oh, uh, just process of elimination!”
“I’m sorry. It’s just my two past partners were pretty scared by it that I was scared you’d do the same. I wanted to keep dating you.” Hitoshi muttered, a look of regret on his face.
(Name) grasped his had and smiled. “I would never be scared of you. Having a tiny dick isn’t such a bad thing.”
Hitoshi looked up in confusion. “Huh?”
“What? Was…. Was that not it?”
“No, it wasn’t. I have a big dick, (Name).”
(Name) stared at him as if he didn’t believe it. Hitoshi sighed and reached down to pull of his pjs bottom, giving his boyfriend a clear look at the behemoth of a cock. It had to be seven inches… It wasn’t even hard yet!
“It’s a bit scary, I know. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” Hitoshi said, going to pull up his pants only to be stopped by (Name).
“No…” (Name) blushed, licking his lips. “I like it.”
Hitoshi felt his brain stutter as (Name) moved off the bed to get in between his legs. (Name) moved Hitoshi’s hands away and pulled down his pants even further, blushing at the large cock that slapped him in the face. He shuddered, noticing how it was almost as long as his face.
“(Name)! You don’t have to!”
“It’s fine,” (Name)’s one hand could hardly fully cover the cock. “I’ve waited a year for this.” He whispered, licking the red tip in front of him. Hitoshi cursed, grasping the bed sheets beneath him as he watched in awe at his boyfriend.
(Name) hated himself for not thinking straight. Yeah, he wanted this but he wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t just put in his mouth—it would instantly hurt his jaw. For the moment, he could only kitten lick the tip, enjoying the groans he got from his boyfriend.
“(Name), I want you.” Hitoshi whispered, grasping at (Name)’s hair. (Name) smiled, pressing a wet kiss on the red aching tip in front of him. It shocked himself at how bold he acted right there but anyone would get so horny that they act so differently if they had to wait a year for sex.
“Have me, please.” (Name) muttered, a blush on his face.
It happened so fast, (Name) wasn’t sure what happened. One minute he was on the floor and the next he was on the bed, clothes long gone. Hitoshi was still clothed, only his bottoms pulled down so his cock was free.
(Name) should’ve been feeling so exposed at being the only one naked but he loved it. He felt like Hitoshi was truly in control right now. Hitoshi reached over the nightstand by the bed and fetched out lube from the drawer.
It was still full.
Hitoshi raised an eyebrow. “You never masturbate?”
“Not as much… It’s a bit weird,” (Name) muttered, looking away in embarrassment.
Hitoshi simply chuckled as he poured out a decent amount on his fingers. He glanced at his boyfriend and a small smile formed on his lips as he poured some directly on (Name)’s bubble butt, right between the cheeks. (Name) gasped, stuttering on about how cold it was.
(Name)’s breathing hitched as he felt a finger slip into him with ease. He moaned at the long fingers that caressed his insides. The cold lube soon didn’t bother him anymore as he bit his lip, trying to limit his sounds.
They were still in the dorms.
“Just tell me if it ever hurts,” Hitoshi whispered, pressing a kiss on his inner thighs.
(Name)’s cock twitched on his stomach as he nodded. He hadn’t noticed Hitoshi pushed in a second until he heard squelching from his own hole. Hitoshi grinned at the look of shock in (Name)’s eyes. It was certainly a sound he never made himself.
The lube on his skin and inside made him feel so loose. His fingers slipped in so easily it made him wonder if (Name) was lying about masturbating. It was like his hole was eagerly welcoming him home.
“Your hole is just welcoming me home, (Name),” Hitoshi said, smirking at the whine (Name) let out.
“Don’t say that….” He cried, arching his back at the feeling of something inside him. Whatever it was, he wanted Hitoshi to touch it again. Hitoshi read his mind because that was the only spot he was touching from then on.
(Name) had long forgotten about holding in his moans. His back arched with each finger thrust as he screamed out for more. The sinful squelching of lube was now comforting to him—telling him he was getting looser for Hitoshi’s large cock.
Ah, he couldn’t wait. His cock twitched as pre-cum leaked on his tummy, coating his stomach in white. Unsteady whimpers left his lips as drool rolled down his chin. His breathing was sharp and heavy as he whimpered out Hitoshi’s name with each press against something inside of him.
But then it was gone.
(Name) almost screamed. He finally turned his head to look at Hitoshi and blushed. His boyfriend stared at him with a small smirk. Hitoshi was sweaty and his right hand was covered in lube, dripping.
“I want you to cum on my cock—can you do that?”
(Name), under any normal circumstance, would’ve cried out in shame. But right now, he nodded in excitement. Hitoshi was quick to press his hard seven inch cock at his dripping hole.
To his shock, Hitoshi teased him first.
Hitoshi held his cock and rubbed it against the lubed slick hole, pressing in just enough to almost slip in before pulling away. It was torture. Each time, (Name) was just about to push the boy away and take it himself. He wasn’t sure how many times he was cruelly teased before Hitoshi’s cock slipped in with ease.
(Name) opened his mouth in a silent scream as his cock went off in quick squirts of semen. Hitoshi stared in shock as he watched his boyfriend keen in ecstasy with his toes curled and mouth wide open. He quickly leaned down and kissed him, earning soft moans from (Name) as he shakily wrapped his legs around his waist.
Hitoshi saw that as a go ahead and quickly began his thrusting. He had been waiting for this. His cock was in wet, tight heat that hugged him like a glove. It felt as if (Name) was going to break from how small the boy was.
(Name) pulled away from the kiss. “You’re so big…” He groaned.
Hitoshi slowed down his thrusts, “it’s okay, you can handle it, (Name).” He pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, grinning at the giggle he earned. (Name) wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.
Their first time was, of course, going to be a bit short. Hitoshi had never actually fucked anyone and (Name) was better than his fists and any toy he used on his cock. The tight heat that clenched around him randomly sent him into a light frenzy.
He screwed himself over on waiting this long to fuck his lover.
The thrusts began to get faster and more sloppy. Sounds of the bed creaking and (Name)’s occasional surprised screams from his prostate being stimulated meant the other students knew they were having sex.
Hitoshi wasn’t looking forward to those awkward stares in the morning.
“I’m gonna pee!”
Hitoshi hummed, “it’s not pee. I’m close to.” He grunted, reaching over to grasp (Name)’s legs and pushed them towards his lover’s head. (Name) squeaked, shocked at how his body could hold this position with ease.
What other positions could he do…?
A grunt left Hitoshi’s lips when (Name) suddenly tightened around him. He stared down at him with a little shit eating grin. Yeah, he’d manhandle his boyfriend more.
The squelching of too much lube, squeaky bed, and whimpers that could make any man cream his pants—their first time was certainly better than what they could dream of.
(Name) screamed out as he came a second time but a bit more watery. Hitoshi was right behind him, thrusting in deep as he released inside. A moan left (Name)’s lips as the warm liquid entered his body. A gasp stuttered out of him as Hitoshi began to shallowly thrust in him.
“Hitoshi….”
“Sorry… Just making sure it stays inside.” He muttered, coming to a stop as he helped move (Name) to lay on his chest as he plopped down on the bed.
(Name) hummed in content. He could feel a few drops slip out but he was too tired to care.
“(Name)…”
“Hm…?”
“Promise me to never act like Todoroki ever again. I like you just as you are.”
╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
╰┈─➤ END
Fourth fic!! There wasn’t much plot to this so I had to improvise a lot! Hopefully you like it!!
Next fic for Saturday is another BNHA character! Thanks for reading!
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FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.
A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!
PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.
WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
it was a Sunday.
The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.
You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.
The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)
It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.
Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”
“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.
Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”
“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”
That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.
Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!
You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”
Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”
“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.
Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”
“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”
Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”
“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”
Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”
You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.
Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.
“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.
Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”
“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”
Sydney says, “give it time.”
“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.
Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”
“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”
“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.
“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.
You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”
Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.
“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”
“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.
“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.
Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”
“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.
Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”
“Hmm…it doesn’t.”
Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—
“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—
Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”
He nods.
“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”
“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.
If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.
He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.
That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.
You weren’t clueless.
He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.
What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?
The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.
“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.
“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.
“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”
“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.
Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”
“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.
See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?
You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”
Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—
“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”
“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”
You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”
Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.
“Everything okay in there, Neil?”
“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”
“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.
The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.
If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.
You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?
You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.
A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.
“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.
It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.
“…are you asking me to hang out?”
“We had fun at that club way back when no?”
“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”
You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.
The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.
Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.
“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”
You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.
“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”
“So…?”
“Can’t do it.”
“You didn’t even hear all the details!”
“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”
“I could never!”
“You know you could always ask carmy-
“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.
Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”
You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.
“Do you want me to hang up on you?”
“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”
“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”
“…whatever that means.”
“Right.”
You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.
Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.
Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.
Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.
You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”
“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.
“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.
“I’m not here to do think pieces.”
“…aren’t you a writer?”
“Have a good night, nat.”
“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”
Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.
“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.
His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.
“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”
The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.
Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.
You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.
Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.
The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.
He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.
Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.
“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.
Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”
“Watching you prep.”
You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”
A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”
“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.
“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.
You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”
“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.
Which is a sight to see.
You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”
Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”
“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.
Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.
“The hell is this place?”
You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”
“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”
You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.
“What looks good?”
“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”
The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”
“Sounds good...I guess?”
“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.
“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.
You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”
“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.
You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”
It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.
“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.
You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”
“That’s not really my problem?”
“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”
Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”
“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.
You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.
*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*
Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.
Not you.
“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.
You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”
Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.
“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.
That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.
So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.
“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.
Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”
“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”
Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”
Sydney.
You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.
“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.
His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”
You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.
The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.
Communication was important people!
And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.
“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.
Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”
Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”
“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.
“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”
She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.
“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.
Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”
Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”
“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.
Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”
“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”
“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”
Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.
“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”
“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”
“You wanna do this with me right now?”
“Yeah, I think I do.”
“I thought we could move past what happened—
“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—
“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—
“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”
“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”
Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.
“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.
“I saw you—
“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.
You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.
“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.
You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”
Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.
He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.
“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.
He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”
“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”
Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.
He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.
Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.
“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”
And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!
You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”
You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.
You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.
If you believe in that shit.
So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.
He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.
So you took carmy’s input into consideration.
With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.
Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.
He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.
Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.
Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉
“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.
You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.
Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”
“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”
“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.
Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???
Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.
He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.
Syd: well youre gonna.
~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~
“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.
Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”
He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.
“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”
Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”
“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.
You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”
“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”
“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.
Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”
“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”
Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”
And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.
“What’s funny?”
“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”
Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”
“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.
The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.
“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.
You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”
“What’s the rating?”
“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.
He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”
“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”
“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.
Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”
Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”
“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”
“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”
That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”
And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.
“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”
“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”
“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”
“Yet.”
Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”
“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”
Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”
“I said that?”
“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”
Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.
Someone just had to look hard enough.
“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”
“What do you want?”
“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”
“You swore off love.”
“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”
Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?
Maybe.
Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.
He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.
“How’d—
“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.
It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?
So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.
“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.
You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.
“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.
Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”
You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”
Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”
“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”
Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”
“On what? My review or showing up?”
“Both.”
“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”
“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.
And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.
You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.
Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.
And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.
𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡
February fluff anthology series continues here.
#Spotify#queued#the bear#the bear fx#the bear hulu#the bear s3#carmen berzatto#carmy berzatto#carmen carmy berzatto#carmy berzatto x black reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x black reader#sydney adamu#carmy x sydney#natalie berzatto#richie jerimovich#michael berzatto#marcus the bear#luca the bear#february prompts#february fluff#neil fak#jeremy allen white
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why NauseAxe_404 loves your writing so much…
based on this silly tweet, I’m gonna use ‘Nick’ for this- for ease of writing (and for my poor poor hands.)
no pronouns but ‘you’- little post cuz I haven’t written in a while.- use of the in-game website: "Dumblr", no it's not a typo;-; Proshippers DNI
word count: 878
content warning: brief explanations of canon violence, creepy stalker-ish behavior (NOTHING SEXUAL ATTACHED), Nick being a weirdo honestly.
vvv that isn't my art, and this entire writing is a fanfic for a game " Monster x Mediator" made by HeadLocker! I really recommend playing the game or watching the gameplay, cuz it's really fantastic!
Story under cut :3
Nick’s in love with your writing…(if you already couldn’t tell), but it’s difficult for you to understand why.
Usually, when you'd open up your laptop, it was after a tough shift at your crap job and you just wanted to do something to fill in the time after dinner and before bed. It was always on the shorter side, 100 words each, and was normally just a quick and crappy self-insert fic to satisfy your creative urges from doing a boring-ass job all day. You never really thought your tiny one-shots would attract any attention, but the man you've been staying with proves otherwise.
"NauseAxe_404" is what he called himself, but you've just been calling him 'Nick' for now. He had been reading your old Dumblr blog for who knows how long, and he's taken a major interest in your little shitposts...So much, so that he had taken the time to print out every single one of your posts and personal information pinned to his room's walls. It's extremely creepy...but also sort of charming?
For the last few days or so, you've been held in Nick's hotel room, practically glued to a desk with a typewriter...slowly making your way through a 100-paged fic that he specifically requested of you. Though you technically could stand up and leave...you'd really prefer for your skull to stay in one piece...and not have a bullet put through your temple.
Nick has been staring at you almost the entire time...which only certified in your mind that he is not human. Every time you turn to see if he's still there...like an unmoving fortress, he always is. It's been a solid 8+ hours of you sitting there and writing...and your stomach starts to emit loud sounds of hunger. You pray he didn't hear that, and continue to type away at the dated machine. However, to your dismay, his deep voice chimes in.
"...What page are you on...?"
Nick asks, seemingly trying to speak quietly for you, but his naturally booming voice isn't giving you any favors.
"...uhm..."
You take a moment to review what you have done...it doesn't look like much but it feels like it took AGES to write out...
"About...10? It's not a-"
"That's wonderful, Superstar!"
He cuts you off just as you begin to speak.
Of course, he's going to be ecstatic. You can't fathom why he seems to be so hopelessly in love with whatever you slap on the paper. You're curious..so you begin to speak.
"...uhm...Nick...why do you..take interest in my writing?"
You softly speak, trying to be careful with your words...you can't afford to overstimulate this man.
For a chatty guy...Nick was oddly silent at the ask of this question…or at least for a few seconds.
“I was trying to find a way to ease the boredom and loneliness of this fucking hotel, so…huff…I joined Dumblr and started to search for writing…that was…huff….purposeful…and that could fix me..”
No way in hell your crackfics could change this man...He must've come out of the womb like that. (or...however the hell he was made..)
"...I came across your first post years ago..huff...and fell in love with the way you wrote your love interest....huff...I knew you were talking about me when I wrote all those comments~"
You never looked at comments due to embarrassment...and you honestly didn't think anyone would even care to comment in the first place.
"....you weren't responding to me...huff...so I might've found everything about you in the meantime...huff...just so I could notice you in a crowd...I always will~"
Okay, now it's getting creepy. You hope that by just turning back around and continuing to write maybe he'd shut up...You guess it's sorta your fault for striking up a conversation with the creep.
"All the other writers don't know shit about writing...huff...1k word counts...huff...long and complicated stories that don't make any fucking sense..."
There goes the rambles. You stop typing for a moment to process what the hell he just said. He either is really balls-deep into this fantasy of you being a perfect human...or he's just trying to fluff you up so you'll continue writing for him. He's really delusional, that's it. It's seriously hard to believe your crap was life-changing for Nick.
“Simplicity is the most important part…huff…not describing some stupid walk sequence for 3 sentences…huff…it’s a waste of space..”
"....maybe you just like simpler writing...?"
You softly reply, yet again praying that you didn't accidentally strike a chord with this guy. He stares you down, and even if you aren't looking back at him, you can still feel the burning of his eyes on the back of your head.
"That's possible."
Oh, it's highly probable. He gets so emotional over the tiniest bit of anything, so...He just doesn't need too many words to evoke a reaction...It checks out because you also like to write a straight-to-the-point sorta piece.
"but don't let your mind wander for...huff...too long...my superstar...you've got at least 90+ pages to go~"
Shit, he was right...time to get back to work.
#monster x mediator#fanfiction#nauseaxe 404#nick mxm#your biggest fan#fanfic#fan work#twitter link#me yapping#my writing#writing#creative writing#on writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#not my art#i love him#tw weapon#tw mention of murder
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2023 In Review (Indie Games)
Last year's! | 2021
I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!
DEMOS
Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)
Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.
The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.
Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!
Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.
Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)
Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.
OTOME/JOSEI JAM
Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...
Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)
Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!
Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁
Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!
Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.
Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.
Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!
The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!
A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???
The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!
Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧
Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)
Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)
Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)
The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.
Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.
Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.
A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭
The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????
Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!
Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:
I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.
A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.
Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*
Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!
Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.
Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)
Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!
Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.
...
Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.
Let me know if we share any favorites!
- Gemini 💛
#gaming year in review#gamedev rambles#yeah no I cannot keep creating more work for me#2024 I am GOING to make a shorter list 😭🤧#hmmmm fun drinking game:#take a shot every time the word 'mystery' is used ☠️
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11th September 2024, Wednesday
day 17/50 productivity challenge
💤: 5hrs - oh it's gonna be a long day, i have a full day of school, yikes!
🕒 7 a.m. - and so it begins
morning skincare
extended duolingo streak
practiced playing keyboard
🕒 8 a.m. - left for school, it's a full day *sigh*
we couldn't skip the first 2 classes of p.e. because we had this fitness test thingy. apparently it's for proof of disability or lack for cbse assessments. the first running test i fucking skidded and fell and scraped my palms and knees. if i was a few years younger i would've been SO embarrassed but atp idc. at least i got lots of walking/jogging in. also this made me realize i NEED to start running more. reminds me that we're prolly gonna register in cbse loc for boards after mid terms
no caffeine so no energy so i slept through my physics demo class :(
good thing i've never missed a deadline in biology b4, because today i told my teacher i forgot my classwork (we had to submit today) and she didn't scold me i hadn't even completed it
(last class was free yay, so i started) studied + made notes biology ch: cell: the unit of life while eavesdropping on my classmates about some drama
🕒 3 p.m. - back home. overall review of my time at school: shit/10
yapped with my mom about politics, our unhinged neighbors, etc
cleaned my scratches with antiseptic liquid while being an overly dramatic lil baby about it
planned the rest of the week
completed chemistry lab record
folded laundry
took headbath
cleaned out email + photo gallery
went down for the visarjan and food!
played a game of chess and won yay
read newspaper
studied + made notes biology ch: cell: the unit of life
night skincare
🕒 1 a.m. - went to bed with the satisfaction that today wasn't an entire waste after all <3
🚰: 4 glasses - need to start consciously drinking more water. i only included this today for the first time because i was too embarrassed to show that my prev days were little around 2-3 glasses
#own post <3#mithistudies#study aesthetic#study blog#realistic studyblr#study motivation#studying#student life#academic#student#studystudystudy#studyspo#studyspiration#studyinspo#studyblr community#studyblr#cbse#cbse school#cbse board#cbse education#study inspo#study notes#academia#academia aesthetic#academic validation#academic weapon#mithi's own#fifty fixing
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So not last Friday but two Fridays ago was National Paranormal Day, something I didn't know existed and there is a joke here about it not actually existing no matter how much some people abuse the scientific method to prove it does but I won't go down that rabbit hole. The point is that night I had a friend who made me aware and asked me to watch something Paranormal but I was busy so I didn't. They watched The Amityville Horror, a truly bad movie that was also part of a massive pop culture phenomena. It's a thing I am fascinated by because I am always interested in ideas that infect society and I wish I could have been there to feel it. To see if it felt like everyone believed there was a haunting in Amityville or not. If you don't know the story you can look it up but it's been pretty thoroughly debunked over the years, though of course there are still true believers, but it was a best selling book that lead to a massive hit movie that has lead to an official movie franchise and an unofficial one that has spawned combined hundreds of movies. You think I am exaggerating but I promise you I am not. Since Amityville is a real place as long as you don't call it the Amityville Horror anyone can make a movie and put Amityville in front of it and suddenly you have a movie sure to make money on streaming. It's how you get things ranging from Amityville Island and Amityville Vampire to Amityville Dollhouse and Amityville in Space. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about Amityville but rather how I didn't watch it Friday night. But it put it in my head so I finally did watch it again, it's a not very good movie but one that has always been part of my life because it was just… always sort of there as a kid. On TV a lot, someone always had a VHS copy recorded off of cable somewhere. So I have seen it many times and the bright spot has always been Margot Kidder because she's the bright spot in a whole lot of movies. She has this moxie and charm about her that comes out in a very specific 70's Liberated Lady way that you don't see anymore. It's so era specific, a backbone and some spunk mixed with a world weariness and the fact that she has seen more than you have. It's why she was a pitch perfect Lois Lane but she is also in a few horror movies and one of them I deeply love she is the best part in, which is high praise cause Black Christmas is awesome. Anyway, I feel like I was intellectually aware she must be an attractive woman cause she's in movies and stuff but she was first and foremost Lois Lane to me as a kid and I couldn't sexualize Lois Lane. Guys, it turns out I can sexualize Kathleen Lutz. I dunno what it is, 4k resolution, getting older, some third thing you can feel free to tell me about in the comments below but man, she is gorgeous. Just so absolutely beautiful and I felt a little dumb that I hadn't fully registered this. Like I knew but I was embarrassed for my loins that they hadn't done their job and made me lust after her previously. They usually don't drop the ball like this. Anyway, in ultra high def I am here to tell you her face is a marvel. And you pair that with the sort of verve Margot Kidder always brings to the screen and I was smitten. To the point I was like, "Did anyone else notice how hot she is in this movie?" Guys, they did. My favorite review I found online was from a woman that said, "You'd think this movie would make me wary of ouija but now we're digging up the board to ask Margot Kidder to be our third". I get it. Today I want to fuck Margot Kidder.
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Review of ii please? 🎤
Hi Cal! Took me a while to get to this message cause I felt like I wanted to write a longer reply.
I feel like I need to preface by saying I'm not a big tour fan in general when it comes to youtubers. I know Dan and Phil do it like no one else ever dares to do, but I still don't really enjoy the format very much, especially since it feels exclusionary to people who can't be there when the youtube channels get dead for tour reasons (which means I might get more annoying during tour again whoops). So prefacing as well with the fact that tatinof makes me want to die inside and is maybe my least favorite thing they've ever done, I didn't have that high expectations for II.
That being said, I liked II way more than I thought I would! It's like the teenage version of dnp content, I suppose! TATINOF felt like it was made for 10 year olds, and even though introverts didn't feel mature or adult like I hope TIT will be, it was still fun enough! Phil especially did much better with this format (and maybe some more experience) and didn't make me want to die from second-hand embarrassment as much asdkj (sorry I promise I love him, hard to watch him act though).
I found it to be like an internet variety show of sorts, and was overall pretty enjoyable to watch. It felt more Dan and Phil than overly scripted TATINOF. They vibed more with the public, they felt more comfortable in their skin and on stage. Overall a better performance, and a more interesting show imho. It was still a litttlleeee too long imho, their shows tend to drag on a little too long for my taste (even WAD, which I absolutely LOVED, could be much shorter to pack more of a punch, so the message doesn't get lost in the amount of content in it).
I find it funny that it was supposed to be the last Dan and Phil thing, because idk if it's because I'm watching it now, but it just has middle child energy. It didn't feel like an ending at all to me! I found the theme interesting as well, about giving people what they want / doing what they want, but once again it might have been better communicated if the show wasn't as long.
Tldr: I really liked Interactive Introverts way more than I expected, I think they did a good job with it even if it does have some transitional energy that is hard to explain, and it's very of its time, as all of their projects seem to be.
I feel more ready to face whatever the fuck they'll do during TIT now that I've seen all their shows, but I do hope they throw out the booklet and let loose a little more on this one. I'm intrigued to see what an actual adult Dan and Phil show looks like (not onlyphans lol).
#opinion#thanks for the question Cal sorry for the long message asjsda#I know most people won't agree with me about tatinof and it's okay! we can have differing opinions#it's cool and chill#feel free to ask more stuff if you guys wanna know#keep in mind I'm older than the average dnp enjoyer so when TATINOF happened I was definitely too old for it lol#personal#don't kill me over this phans
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▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line
For the Locked Tomb fic of your choosing.
[from here]
OMG thank you for the question! I picked slash and burn, my TLT fic with the fewest hits. It's pre-Resurrection John/A—, written for the TLT holiday exchange last year. I really had a blast writing A—'s POV of tired overworked scientist John.
John’s got all the confidence in the world; when he speaks, and he really cares, nobody could ever look away. But this — talking to investors, handling review boards, discussion permits and funds and bureaucracy — John is shit at it. Early on, he used to make dorky jokes that never landed, so he stopped making them. These days, his voice gets a clipped snappy tone like he’s talking down everyone in the room; his neck gets flushed, his palms sweaty. He shoves his hands in his pockets and hunches his shoulders in a way that might give A— secondhand embarrassment if he could feel any, but also makes John look like he’s just begging to be punched in the face. Once, his laser pen slipped from his grip and clattered to the floor, and John panicked and kicked it away instead of bending to retrieve it, and then had to finish the presentation gesturing at A— when he needed to change slides. Whatever the opposite of rizz is, John’s got that in spades. “Fuck you, I can do rizz. I just don’t like asking people for money.”
Whatever the opposite of rizz is, John’s got that in spades. <- I know I am so right for this and also I am cacking to myself about it
[fic ask game!!!]
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