#last scheduled one ig
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"I'm nonbinary this, I'm nonbinary that" I'm nonbinary because I'm 10,001 slugs in a flesh mech and unfortunately that one slug is on top and they're not the brightest lightbulb in the bunch.
#nonbinary#transgender#trans#nonbinary humor#slugs#sea slug#listen i can admit it that slug is dumb but trying their best#this was DEEP in my drafts#so uh#last scheduled one ig#god if my horse girl days were strong I'd be a horse in a trench coat#i don't want to be trans Bojack Horseman y'all#that wouldn't be fun
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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Grunkle Stan, I Trust you
#gravity falls#i watched this episode last night and drew this today#lmtposting#digital art#artwork#art#mabel pines#stanford pines#stanley pines#gravity falls fanart#book of bill#bill cipher#i also have this 80 hour dungeon meshi fanart that i spent all of july#and august doing so i think I’m going to post one a day next week if i can figure out how to schedule posts on ig.#artists on tumblr
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↳ SIDE HOTD (1 /∞ ) 🐺🏹 MYRANDA OF MAIDENS MOUTH ── i don't belong here, i don't belong anywhere. (x) (x) (x)
#t: edits#*hotds#c: myranda#i just wanted to get her outta my head ig.#she's the only kid outta the five of them that uses the stark last name tho#literally just makes it her business tbh she has NO reason to be doing what she does#post dance she'll most likely stay south of the wall to like...experience adventure and stuff but#yeah....literally just here.#she holds no real weight tbh i just wanted to mess around with concepts#literally the random relative you've never me that just shows up randomly like can we hang out???#probably gonna do one of these for elsa and some of the other side hotd hoes just to stay on like a edits#or creativity schedule or something#in a ton of pain rn with back and leg issues (have no idea wtf is going on) so just trying to keep busy and off of webmd
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🤞
#exams did go fairly well#hopefully nothing worse than a B but i think an A is certainly possible in at least one of them#so hopefully 🥹🥹#i did study quite a bit not as much as i hoped for but a step up from my lack of effort the last few weeks#so hopefully i can get back to better routines now#i mean i do know probably many didn't study at all for these exams as they were not that serious#buuut if you want a good grade i feel like you have to at least i studied for like 2-3 days altough i would have liked to study for a week#also my schedule is just insane i think but then maybe it's just me idk#my time management is not the best but i still wonder how others would do with so many classes and extra activities#i have like 20 classes this semester + 2 exams i intend to take extra#i'm not attending all of them that wouldn't be possible and i'm not sure i can take all the exams but i'm happy if I manage like 17 or so#but like a normal amount is 10 classes a semester in my country but in reality most students don't take this many either#well i'm basically enrolled in two programms atm so there's that ig#but often i'm just wondering when i'm gonna study#i also play tennis a lot and competiting for my club (at a rec level)#and i'm training for this entrance exam for sports (i'm currently studying teaching with other subjects + English)#altough this is making me question if i'm fit for this everyday 🫠 i'm fairly good at 2 things ball sports and just like general athleticism#we also need to dance do gymnastics and swim i struggle with all of them#i'm not fast enough at swimming and my technique is bad i can't even do a cartwheel and a bad dancer 😭#the requirements are really high though i mean when i think of people i know from tennis or football no one would even get there closely#like i was the fastest at my former football club (and at every uni football course) and i might just barely cut it for sprinting#and i'm really quite athletic when playing tennis my opponents always notice and coordinated in sports as well#but somehow coordination for gymnastics is not the same?😅 how can i be so graceful playing tennis and most sports with balls but so clumsy#otherwise like doing a handstand... no balance 🥲#but anyways i also do like general fitness stuff going to the gym running a bit and trying to eat healthy#but my studying hours are very limited often tmrw i have uni from half 2 until 8pm in the evening and i have a preparation course for sports#before uni starts at half 10#i just really get the urge to drop everything sometimes 🥲 i also wanna see friends again more not just at uni and in the bus#i miss my semesters with 10 courses a week it was beautiful so much freedom and free time 🥹#uni was so enjoyable back then... don't get me wrong i enjoy most of my uni courses what i not enjoy is not having any time to myself
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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Vaguely remember a couple conversations in my head. I don’t really remember the substance of them tho. If I try, it brings nothing 😔
I think it’s just cuz we sleepy as hell (which is bc laying down)
Fighting artificial sleepiness by looking at tumblr /lh
#sepiasys.txt#one day I’ll switch back to my main/non-sys acct LMAO#I vaguely think it was masc/a dude we was talkin to. but I cant tell if thats bc of memory of dreams or smth else.#LMAO LOOKING IN REFLECTION WE LOOK SO TIRED BRO WE GOT SO MUCH SLEEP WDYM#I mean ig we didn’t get real sleep. bc naps. maybe we soils try a normal sleep schedule because idr how long our last SLEEP was or when#like it has to have been a couple nights ago. but like. i don’t remember
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u guys think my pharmacy will flag me for drug seeking behavior again if i call them right as they open and explain im pretty much nocturnal and id like them to refill my shit before noon bc thats about when im getting to sleep these days
#and waking up after they close#also: theyre closed on saturdays now#idk why but my best guess is they only have one actual pharmacist and state law says they need at least one day off a week#and girlboss demanded saturdays. as she should tbh i cant even imagine her workload#which is why i feel so bad ab calling in the morning to ask for a Fast refill but also maam please my sleeping schedule is fucked#and u have my sleeping medications. i beg u-#funny enough the other two meds (one of them is a much stricter schedule) did refill already and refill early#but ig thats bc i got shorted on the last refill so they figure im out#and now i am but i had to ration like hell#but also i just dont want them to ever call me a druggie to my face again lol that fucking stung#i didnt work so hard to get over other addictions to get that for a medication im actually prescribed and need. fuck.
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thrashing furniture ripping down wallpaper throwing laptop out the window
realized i got stuck because the emotional flow is nonsense (or just. incredibly weak. things don't connect and flow properly. where's the focus, i don't know, it should be there somewhere to make the ending scene hit properly) and you know, it's good to not get stuck on finer details and just power through a draft, but also when you get stuck stuck it's likely stemming from an issue way upstream of where you got stuck, which is the emotional flow as i mentioned.
but.
i tracked it back all the way to the first paragraph. and ohhhh fucking shit hell it's bad and i don't know how to get it to work.
i don't want to expand the initial setup, but must, don't i? it just won't work if it's too dense, if i want to keep all the fun little stuff. and if i don't keep the fun stuff, what's even the point.
but fuck it's going to take so long to get to the juicy part at this rate
rip me
#yea fic talk#part of the problem is also because i've been Doing Shit#so i keep being out of spell slots#today was laundry day and then i couldn't not go on a walk because i got so antsy#and now i also baked???#thank fuck there's no events this weekend#i should have some time to Just Not#and do some light tidying up#and hopefully write#but all that is just stuff i'd like to do if the mood strikes#only one last Scheduled Activity left on the planner this week and it's hitting the gym tomorrow#my bench is lagging behind and squats have been touch and go#because i got old injuries etc in parts that are extra load bearing in those lifts#but i'm doing my b workout which has neither!!#so it should be a chill time#but yea ig i'm going to just enjoy my pastries and the clean sheets tonight
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i will be insufferable about this joke until the day fnf dies
#also ig this is context for one of the older snippets too lol#this is gonna be the last one i post before the final fic :D stay tuned lol#fic snippet#the friend of my friend is my enemy#fnf psychic#fnf mind games#fnf void#fnf radi#void and the tall bois#friday night funkin#edit LMAO I FORGOT I SCHEDULED THIS I WAS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND GOT THIS JUMPSCARE ON MY DASH
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I don't like thinking about work unless I'm at work but I have to talk through smth ignore me or whatever
#i want to quit soon but i dont know when the best time is#im working the next 2 mon/tues and then im off until the 14th#and the schedule for august isn't out yet so the last day im scheduled for now is the 25th#usually the schedule comes last minute#im considering..... telling my boss that my last day will be the 25th tomorrow#but if im going to do it i have to do it tomorrow#mayyyyybe Tuesday ig but i would wanna do it next week#but i cant see who im working with before i go in anymore. which is so terrible for so many reasons#i need to prepare before i go in and part of that is knowing who im gonna see but whatever#not only that but i wont know if my boss will be there for me to be able to quit until im there tomorrow#im also super anxious about quitting anyway i don't wanna have that conversation#and then i have to start looking for a new job#and im trying to move in the spring i need money#i did think... i could possibly bring the letter of resignation tomorrow.. hope he wont be there & leave it on his desk#and text him that it's there. but then theres not much of a conversation to be had#idek exactly how youre 'supposed to quit' but to me those rules are for employers you respect 💀#i dont respect these people ✌️#the only thing i feel bad about is that there'll only be one baker left in the company (6 almost 7 stores)#but its also not my fault that they haven't hired anyone and cant keep employees#i would've LOVED some help over the last few months as ive been the only baker in this district of 3 stores!!! they never hired anyone!!!!#i just have really not appreciated the way they've been treating me recently with all of the anxiety stuff#i also dont appreciated how my rights of privacy were violated 😀#and its literally coming to the point where im going to have to have uncomfortable conversations that i dont want to have#and/or literally take or at least threaten some legal action#or just quit!! and its not like im gonna be here much longer anyway even if i dont leave right now#i almost feel like... do i have a responsibility to hold them accountable for what they've done so it hopefully doesn't happen again#but idk i mean i didn't make them do this#tbh the more i think about it the more i want to quit tomorrow. im just nervous. and scared of not having a paycheck#idk its just scary!!! life is scary!!!!!
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last but not least from the vault, last year’s artem!
#gari draws#gari’s ocs#gari’s vault#oc: artem#mermay#mermay 2023#mermaid#mermaid oc#i really like this one too#partially bc i use thinner lines than before#i’m always trying* to go thinner bc i think they look nicer but also idk#*I rarely actually change the brush thickness 🤡#freckle brush my beloved#is now the time to mention that i’ve always completed the mermay of the year in the last like. 2-3 days of may 💀#so chances of 2023 being finished before this is scheduled to come up is low but not 0 ig#we shall see 👍🏽
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fucked up how you pay through the nose for car insurance you are legally required to have, but ideally do not use, only for you to have to carefully weigh whether to use it when you finally actually need it and not really know if it’s the right choice, bc if you DO use it your monthly payments will become even more exorbitant but you don’t know by how much until it is too late 😰
at least I am here to bitch about car insurance on the internet tho. totally could’ve died today so 😅
#hit a pothole in the fast lane of the interstate#reacted too slow for the speed I was going#bounced off the guard rail a few times#very scary#but my car was still drivable and I was ok#and no one else was involved#so that’s what matters#but I am still dreading the repairs 😓#there’s more damage all the way down the driver’s side of the car but this one picture gets the point across#might have to pick up a second job or open commissions or something#ig this is my wake up call to 1) stop speeding and 2) fix my goddamn sleep schedule#bc I couldn’t get to bed on time last night and had to leave at the crack of dawn this morning for a regatta#and I think this could have been avoided if I were not Very Tired
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feeling.
#if only i were someone’s first priority for once#idk.#one friend is in Florida right now but not to see me. can’t drop by. because she’s going to Disney with another rich friend#who is paying for all her expenses so she stays on that friend’s schedule only#other friend was gonna visit for Independence Day#but right now the guy who led me on last year is with her in Puerto Rico soooo. prioritizing that ig#we all met each other at the same time and I was driving her to and from work every day when her rental fell through but . ok. choose him .#i didn’t see mr lead people on stepping in to help .#but ok.#other friend who lives here has ghosted me since I arrived but I was expecting that cause he and j*** are locals now#idk I feel like I’m always fighting to prove my worth and then no one ever chooses me.#not the friends I make sacrifices for and certainly not . l***#idk just feeling hollow#cj talks
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so i just learned something
nothing scarier than activity on an old post.....where did u find that thang
#i was curious the farthest i could schedule a post for#so uh#if tumblr still exists#last minute of 2100 this post will get one more note lmao#see yall around 76 years from now ig
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screaming crying throwing up
#cryptic ramblings#i was supposed to have today n tmrrw off bc my boss switched some of my days around this week n last#but one of my coworkers/other bosses asked for me to come in to help her w something tomorrow 🥲🥲#i was so excited for my two days off 🥲#BUT brightside: i get to see a coworker friend that i rarely see bc our schedules dont line up anymore so. silver linings ig 🥴😮💨#in the tags
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