#last bit was a smosh bit reference

[hisbucky]

Bobby to the crew: Once again, I will remind all of you that I love you all equally. Hen: That is bullshit if I've ever heard it. Chimney: What did I eat for breakfast, cap?! Tell me what I had for breakfast!!! Buck: Huh? Didn't Bobby make some chocolate blueberry pancakes for everyone? Eddie: No, babe. That was just for you. Ravi: It's true. I was there, man.

[hard-core-super-star]

cross that line again [Y.Belova + K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x kate bishop; yelena belova x yelena belova

summary: kate calls yelena for help fixing the mess she created. things don't exactly go to plan and the russian is forced to face some uncomfortable truths about her desires.

warnings: SMUT -> minors do not interact [selfcest; porn with little plot; character exploration in the midst of spicy stuff; yelena seduces herself; face sitting/cunilingus; fingering; yelena's in a bit of a domme mood; bishova is more than implied; did not proofread this enough

wordcount: 5k

a/n: a second commission has hit the blog! (yes, this is a smosh reference, shut up-) i was absolutely captivated by this idea the first time around and this second part did not disappoint. i don't write for yelena very often so getting to explore her character like this was super interesting for me. i think that's all i have to say, hope you enjoy and thanks for the support <3

[buy me a coffee]

* * * * * * *

If two days ago you would have told Kate that she'd be waking up in the morning next to herself, she would have assumed you were playing a joke on her. Sure, she'd seen a lot of weird things ever since becoming an official Avenger but that was a bit much.

At least that's what she would have thought at any other time.

Today, though, the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was herself. Looking at her with a smile brighter than the sun coming in through the windows.

"Hey, you."

She was still getting used to hearing her voice come from somewhere that wasn't her own mouth. It was strange but she found herself getting more and more used to the familiarity hidden inside those pale blue eyes.

Sure, they were the same person and all but that didn't stop her thoughts from wandering whenever they looked at each other too long. It'd been so long since she'd felt like this for anyone and she'd be an idiot to ignore her desires.

"Morning, sunshine," she replied. "Sleep well?"

"Hell yes." Somehow, the smile on her face grew wider. "I feel reborn."

"I don't think that's because of the sleep, though." The smirk on her face made the double meaning in her words more than clear.

Her other self laughed, her hand coming up to playfully punch her shoulder. "Shut up, jerk."

"Jerk? That's not what you were calling me last night."

She was sure she'd never seen someone blush so hard so far. It was one of the most adorable things she had ever seen and she filed away the new discovery for later.

"Oh my god, shut up!"

"Make me." Her hands gripped the brunette's hips and she pulled her closer, laughing at the way she instantly tried to hide her flustered face in her neck.

"You're the worst."

She could hear the smile in her words and in turn, she snuck her hands under her shirt, drawing random shapes just to hear her gasp. "You're such a crybaby, Kate."

"Stop talking," she grumbled, getting her revenge by attaching her lips to a particularly sensitive spot on her neck.

Kate let out a soft gasp of her own at the feeling and she took advantage of the moment to dig her nails into the brunette's skin.

They spent most of the morning like this, riling each other up until the teasing grew to be too much to bear and they ended up tangled in each other. Over and over and over again.

Guess they really did sleep better than they had in months considering how much energy they had.

It took a long time, and more than a few orgasms, before they were able to keep their hands to themselves long enough to get up from her bed. It took all her self-restraint to not follow past Kate into the bathroom after she announced she was going to shower. She really really wanted to but she held back in order to call Yelena and briefly update her on what had happened.

Needless to say, the Russian didn't believe a single word she said and accused Kate of taking one too many edibles. Instead of arguing more ("That was one time, 'Lena!"), she simply told the blonde to come over and help them figure out what to do next.

She did sort of leave out the part about her and her other self being…more than friendly with each other but they'd cross that bridge when they got there.

A bridge that got way too close way too fast.

It wasn't like she wanted Yelena to walk in on them in the middle of an unplanned make-out session. But of course, the Russian decided to let herself into the apartment, without making any noise because she's "far more talented than that", and caught them in quite a…compromising position.

In her defense, it was hard to concentrate on making breakfast for them when the other brunette was wrapping her arms around her and kissing her neck. They were lucky she did it before she turned the stove on.

That did mean she ended up getting turned around and pressed up against the fridge but she didn't really mind.

At least, until Yelena coughed loudly and broke them out of their lust-filled bubble.

"Shit!" They exclaimed as they broke apart, their faces wearing matching blushes.

"You…you were not lying." She was sure she'd never seen Yelena look so genuinely shocked before. "There are two of you."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Kate said with an affectionate eye roll. "Tell me something I don't know."

"First, you have to tell me how this happened."

The Kate's shared a quick glance, the softness in their eyes directed toward the blonde and the way certain phrases still flew over her head. It was incredibly endearing but they'd never tell her that (mainly because she would instantly kill them afterward).

Despite the incredibility of their situation, they told Yelena everything that happened. Well, almost everything. They told her about the witch coven and the weird spell and the time travel but not about their hookup. Maybe it was silly considering she'd seen them making out and all but they still decided against it.

It would have all been fine if the blonde hadn't noticed something while they were in the middle of planning their move against the coven.

"Bishop," she said, her eyes trained on the side of Kate's neck. "What is that?"

"What's what?" Kate responded as her hand instinctively came up to cover her neck like she was a teenager sneaking around her mom's back again.

One simple look from the blonde had her wishing she didn't try to hide the truth from her. Damn Yelena and her scary assassin glare.

"Do not play dumb with me." Her tone left no room for sarcastic responses or stupid jokes.

"It's a, uh…a hickey," she mumbled, her eyes shifting from Yelena to her alternate.

They shared a long look, although the other brunette looked far too amused for her liking, and completely missed the shock that covered the Russian's face. Shock that was mixed with a bit of curiosity…and a lot of confusion.

"How does that even work?"

Past Kate jumped at the opportunity to answer far too quick for her to stop her from talking. "Well, when two people like each other very much-"

"Shut up!" She smacked the other brunette's shoulder right as she erupted into laughter. Of course, only she could find embarrassing her funny.

Yelena let out a long sigh at their antics. "That is not what I meant, Kate Bishop."

The disappointment in her voice made Kate laugh too and it helped reassure her that at the very least, she didn't think there was something wrong with them for being with each other in such an intimate way.

She most certainly thought it was weird but she couldn't blame her for that when even they thought it was weird. But good. Very good considering the way past Kate moaned their name all night.

It was incredibly hard for both of them to focus after that, especially since they could now be as affectionate as they wanted without feeling awkward about it. Kate had always dreamed about having a partner who allowed her to be touchy and borderline clingy without getting annoyed with her. She just never dreamed about said partner being herself.

It made more sense than she'd like but she wasn't about to complain. Not when the other archer knew exactly what she liked, how she liked it, and how often she needed it.

She could definitely get used to this.

Yelena, on the other hand, did not want to get used to this. To the way the Kates clung to each other, whispering snarky little comments to each other and and making each other giggle nonstop.

It wasn't like she was jealous or anything, she was simply annoyed that it took them an extra hour to come up with a plan since the handsy brunettes kept getting distracted by each other. It also didn't help that Kate was the only one out of them who had actually been inside the coven's meeting place and she couldn't focus for more than a minute at a time.

She was used to her short attention span but this was getting ridiculous.

It didn't help that there were two of them and she was the only one genuinely trying to solve their problems. Problems that would have been avoided had Kate actually listened to her for once and avoided interacting with their target.

She wished she could be mad but, sadly, the archer was too endearing for her to be genuinely upset at her. (She could practically hear Natasha making fun of her for being such a "softie" after all.)

Thankfully, they managed to somehow come up with a plan that didn't totally sound like a failure and didn't include them crashing through the ceiling of the hideout.

That being said, she still thought it was a shitty plan. Especially since it relied on Kate not getting distracted by her affectionate alternate.

She decided not arguing was the best course of action and before she knew it, she was getting dragged along by two overconfident archers. There was no rush but neither of them listened to her (what a surprise) and insisted they put their plan in action sooner rather than later.

Her initial complaints about bringing no supplies with her were instantly silenced by "future" Kate who reminded her of all the things she'd stored in the spare bedroom. Maybe storing some of her weapons and vests at the archer's apartment hadn't been the worst idea in the world.

And no, she wasn't just saying that because it made the brunette smile when she admitted she had been right.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Kate was worse than a broken clock and she could only be right once a day. She wasn't sure why she still blindly trusted her when it was clear she was the worst strategist she'd ever met.

That being said, the archer did technically manage to get them inside the building without much hassle. It was what happened afterward that solidified how little she should trust her from now on.

When Kate told her what had happened when she faced the coven the first time, she conviniently forgot to mention the part where they were looking for Yelena. And now the archer had brought her right to the witches doorstep.

"I have to give it to you, Ms. Bishop," the so-called leader said. "You have a way of making my job way easier."

She cursed under her breath, her annoyance growing as two pairs of slightly panicked blue eyes found each other.

They had done everything right, or at least they thought they had. They'd even listened to Clint's usual advice! They watched from afar, cut the lights and caused a distraction to make sure the leader was left by herself. The plan couldn't have been more badass than that!

And yet here they all were.

"What? Not even two of you can come up with something to say?"

"Only I can make fun of them," Yelena said, her hand already reaching for her knife. "And you are not as smart as you think you are."

"Bold words coming from exactly the person I was looking for."

"There is one thing you clearly do not know about me," the Russian said as she pulled out her knife, her feet carrying her closer to the woman. "I do not waste time chit-chatting."

Kate grimaced while she watched her do the one thing she told her not to do: rush at her enemy. She shouldn't have been surprised, though. When did she actually listen to her?

Both archers did what they could to back Yelena up but what happened next was inevitable.

One second, Yelena was right in front of her, knife in hand as she charged at the coven leader.

Then, she blinked.

And the blonde was gone.

Thankfully, the other archer managed to tackle the witch as Kate stared dumbfounded at the spot where the Russian had just been.

It took her a few seconds to realize what her sudden disappearance meant.

Yelena had been sent back in time.

Shit.

The Russian was going to kill her for sure. * * *

There weren't many things Yelena was sure of but she was sure Kate Bishop was going to be the death of her.

Not because she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling or because she somehow always came up with the weirdest mission plans. No, she was going to be death of her because she got her sent back in time by a fucking witch coven.

What had her life turned into?

Maybe she would have been more on edge about the whole thing if she hadn't been forced to listen to not one, but two Kate's explain how she'd been sent back in time and found some sense of peace in herself.

As weird, and annoying, as their obvious feelings for each other were, it made her feel a bit better about the whole thing. At least she wouldn't be alone…although she was doubtful her other self would be as excited to spend time with herself as the archer had been.

She tried not to think about it too much, there was no use worrying about how she was going to explain this situation to her past self. All she could do was hope she wouldn't have to fight herself. There was no telling how long that could last.

The walk to her homebase was longer than she would have liked but eventually, she arrived and went through the long process of getting inside. Everyone thought she was a touch too paranoid but she'd rather be safe than sorry. Plus, Kate had offered to "buff up" her home security for free and she couldn't find it in herself to refuse.

That's how she ended up with a ridiculous amount of locks and a high-tech digital identity verification system. It was pretty cool in her eyes, even if it made getting pizza deliveries a pain in the ass.

She made her way through her front door, doing her best to not alert her alternate self of her presence. Sneaking up on her would surely be a bad idea but she also didn't want to burst in and risk getting attacked.

She found her past self in the kitchen and loudly coughed to get her attention.

The blonde instantly looked up, her eyes widening slightly once she saw her.

"Who are you?" Her past self asked, her hand already reaching for the knife tucked into her belt. "How did you get in?"

"I'm you, idiot," she replied, unable to stop her eyes from rolling. She understood her other self's apprehension, she would be reacting the same way had she not spent far too long in the company of one too many Kate's. "I have security access."

"That is impossible."

She suddenly understood what Kate meant when she said she often had "dry and obvious" responses. She still didn't understand why the brunette liked it so much, though. It was definitely annoying.

"If it was, I wouldn't be here right now," she replied just as drily.

Somehow, her response seemed to make sense to the Russian. A beat of silence passed before she nodded in what seemed to be approval. "Good point."

"That…that is it?" She asked, eyeing her suspiciously. "That is all it took for you to believe me?"

"Would you like me to fight you? Because honestly, I am still sore from my morning workout."

They locked eyes for a second before bursting into laughter. It was so weird but it felt right, somehow. She didn't have to guess or walk around eggshells, they both managed to understand each other in seconds without even using words.

Shit.

She was starting to think like Kate Bishop.

It seemed borderline impossible but maybe…Kate had a point. Maybe no one could make her feel as seen and understood as herself.

Maybe there was nothing wrong with wanting to explore a connection that deep.

"So, how did you get here, anyway?" Her past self asked once their giggles had died down. "I am assuming a mission went wrong?"

"You have no idea how wrong," she replied with an eyeroll. "I'm never trusting Kate Bishop's plans again."

"Why am I not surprised Kate is involved?" The amusement in her tone was difficult to hide. "Maybe we should go to her apartment and talk to her."

Her mind instantly filled with thoughts she didn't want to have. Thoughts filled of the activities both Kates were currently involved in…and the hickies that would be left behind. "I do not think she'd enjoy the…interruption."

"What are you talking about?"

"She is…enjoying some quality time with herself."

"What do you-" Past Yelena's face twisted into a mixture of surprise and confusion as the realization hit her. "You cannot be serious."

It was strange but she found herself growing somewhat defensive over the archers. She swore it wasn't because she approved of what they were doing or anything. It was simply because she saw how happy Kate looked with her other self. As much as it pained her to admit, she'd never seen her look like that before.

"I am," she replied, doing her best to keep her voice level. "Is that a problem?"

It was almost comical how quick she was to fluster. No one was ever able to make her blush and she felt a little proud of herself for achieving it so quickly.

"What Kate Bishop does in her free time is none of my business."

She couldn't stop herself from laughing. Her words would have been believable if they weren't the same person. Unfortunately for her past self, she knew the truth hidden beneath the surface.

The secrets she'd never tell another soul…except herself.

"So…you do not mind, then?" She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. "It is not weird?"

They were the same person, she knew that, but she also knew what she would have said 24 hours ago. It wasn't like she was thinking of doing anything with her past self but…maybe she wanted to know she could.

"It's not the weirdest thing I've heard about Kate Bishop," the blonde said with a shrug. "I do not think it's for me, though."

Yelena should have let the conversation die there. It would have been easy to simply shut up and do something else. Talk about anything else. And yet she couldn't let it go.

She couldn't stop herself from asking the one question that had been on her mind since she'd walked in on both Kates making out.

"You are not even a little curious?" Her feet carried her across the kitchen floor without her even thinking until she was standing right in front of her past self.

She expected the blonde to shrug and step back from her. Maybe throw a warning her way and move on. But after all, they were the same person and the same things made them tick.

They shared the same, unspoken, fantasies and she knew exactly what to do. Where to look, where to linger with a soft touch.

She almost couldn't believe she was doing this but then again, she'd spent the past day more than a little frustrated. Haunted by ridiculously bad ideas featuring two pairs of identical blue eyes. Who better to give her some relief than herself?

"Curious about what?" Her alternate tried to appear unaffected but she knew herself better than that. She caught the clench in her jaw and her distracted eyes. "We are the same, your body is my body."

"That may be true…" She trailed off, her hand trailing down her arm. "But it will not feel the same."

The blonde rolled her eyes in response but she didn't push her off. She didn't seem to fully agree with her thoughts and yet she wasn't doing anything to stop her.

Yelena smelled a challenge and she wasn't about to back down without a fight.

Her hands found their way onto past Yelena's waist, slowly slipping under the hem of her muscle tank and tracing her stomach. The shiver her actions drew from her made her smirk and she couldn't help but feel a little proud of herself.

"This is wrong, you know that?"

The question made her chuckle. All it did was make her more emboldened, rather than embarrassed. Compared to all of the horrible things she'd ever done in her life, this felt like a walk in the park.

This was her choice.

And after years of feeling like she had no choice but to do what someone else wanted her to do, this moment bordered on therapeutic. Not to mention, ridiculously arousing.

"I don't know, you seem to be enjoying it a lot." She emphasized her point by gripping the hem of her shirt and pulling it off in one quick move.

"Fuck off."

She opened her mouth to tease her again but her other self didn't let her get very far. The blonde gripped her arms in a tight hold and moved her back until they made it to the living room.

A part of her wanted to fight back but she was a little too intrigued to stop her.

She allowed her to push her down onto the couch, taking a seat and subconsciously spreading her legs.

"Do not get any ideas," her past self said as she dropped to her knees in front of her. "I am just doing this to shut you up."

"If you say so." The amusement in her voice was more than clear.

It took the other blonde almost no time to reach out and start taking off her vest. Her fingers worked fast to undo the straps and push the garment off her shoulders.

With the vest out of the way, she was able to remove her tight compression shirt but not before very clearly admiring the way the fabric hugged her breasts. It momentarily reminded her of Kate which only served to remind her how desperate she was for relief.

"I think you are the one that's enjoying this a lot," past Yelena murmured, groping and squeezing her breasts through her top.

"Well, it was my idea," she replied as she arched her back into her touch.

The blonde hummed in response, her eyes darkening slightly despite how unaffected she claimed to be. "Naughty girl."

"Careful, I'm the one in charge here."

Her words were met with an eye roll and a pair of impatient hands that continued undressing her. Neither of them were complaining, though, so she allowed her shirt and bra to be removed in one quick move.

The cold air of the room caused her slightly hard nipples to fully harden and she could see her other self's restraint slipping in real time. That was all it took for her to move.

She reached for the blonde's hands and did her best to not smirk when she felt how tense she got as she pulled her hands toward her breasts. "What is the problem? Scared you'll like it?"

"You need to stop talking," she grumbled.

Despite her feigned annoyance, she fulfilled Yelena's unspoken order. They both shivered the second her hands wrapped around her breasts, her thumbs instantly rubbing over her nipples.

The moan that left her lips came out more like a growl, her nails digging into the other blonde's wrists. "And you need to start behaving."

Her words were met with a low chuckle. "Is that what you want? Did you run out of people to order around or something?"

She couldn't help but find her defiance attractive. She knew the reasons for it, the fire that burned underneath the surface, hot enough to burn anyone who dared get too close. But she wasn't just "anyone".

She pulled her past self closer until their faces were inches apart, her alternate's arms almost fully wrapped around her neck. Her words were a mere whisper as she spoke. "Maybe I just know you'll be far more obedient than anyone else."

If looks could kill, she'd be six feet under right now. "You are wrong."

"Then why are you on your knees for me?"

It was subtle but the fire in the blonde's eyes changed. The traces of defiance were still there and yet there was no denying the desire that was slowly starting to overtake the green in her eyes. She was sure she'd never seen a more captivating sight.

She waited for the snarky reply that was surely about to fly out of past Yelena's mouth but it never came. Instead, she was met with a smirk before she crashed her lips against hers.

The kiss felt wrong in all the best ways. It was messy and rough and far more passionate than anything she had shared with her recent flings. They had all been stupid moments of weakness meant to distract her from her unprofessional thoughts about a certain archer.

This was different, though.

It bordered on forbidden and yet that made it all the more exciting. Something the other blonde was feeling too given the way she was attempting to straddle her leg.

She wasn't quite ready to give her what she wanted yet. She had a much better idea.

"Lay down, detka." The roughness of her voice contrasted perfectly with the softness of her fingers as she caressed the side of the blonde's face. "And do not make me repeat myself."

Past Yelena huffed but she obeyed her perfectly just like she had expected. With her obedience came the rush of power that turned her on like nothing else.

It took her no time at all to discard the few articles of clothing left on her body, doing her best not to laugh at how desperate her alternate looked. The way her eyes trailed over every inch of revealed skin did little to soothe the throbbing between her legs.

Her intentions were more than clear once she sank down right above the other blonde's face. She briefly considering ordering her to keep her hands to herself but the way she instantly gripped onto her thighs to pull her down was far too arousing to tell her to stop.

A sharp gasp left her lips as she felt her mouth make contact with her soaked cunt. She hadn't even realized how wet she'd gotten from just a few touched. She'd be embarrassed if she wasn't so sure the other woman was on the same boat.

"There you go," she murmured as her hands landed on her other self's chest for stability. The action made her have to lean forward and she relished the strangled moan her movements earned her.

She ground her hips against the blonde's face, her eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of her desperate licks against her clit. "Come on, you can do better than that, can't you?"

She expected to hear a complaint but it didn't come. That didn't mean her other self didn't express her dislike for being ordered around in a different way, though. It's how she ended up with her lips fully wrapped around her sensitive clit and two fingers teasingly poking at her entrance.

The urge to ask for more was strong despite her desire to stay in control. It wasn't her fault considering her pleasure wasn't exactly in her hands. It was in the hands of her alternate self who was having too much fun being a brat and pushing her buttons.

Thankfully, it seemed like all she wanted was to hear her moans turn slightly whinier. Once she got what she wanted, she sunk her fingers into her pussy and doubled her efforts in an attempt to make her completely fall apart.

"Fucking hell-" She gasped, unable to stop her hips from chasing after her fingers every time she pulled out. "Don't fucking stop."

"Or what?" Her other self muttered.

A part of her wanted to tell her off for stopping to talk but the vibrations felt incredible.

"I'll tie you up and leave you there all day." It was, admittedly, a shitty threat but it wasn't like her brain was currently working at full capacity.

"You think I will not like that?" Her fingers sped up once more, curling just enough to bring her closer to the edge with each thrust.

"I don't think you want to find out, oh-"

The rest of her words died in her throat as she started to suck on her clit again, her tongue drawing rapid circles against the swollen bud.

"Just like that- Fuck!"

Her orgasm hit her like a truck. Her hips shook almost uncontrollably as she continued to grind against the other blonde, the feeling of her nails digging into her skin only adding to the pleasurable sensations currently overwhelming her body.

For someone so obsessed with being in control and having the upper hand at all times, this moment felt freeing rather than uncomfortable. It felt far better than anything she'd experienced before and a realization hit her as she rolled off of herself before she took advantage of her blissed out state.

"Motherfucker," she mumbled with a laugh.

"What?" Her other self asked, her eyes dancing with amusement.

"Kate Bishop was right."

They shared a look before erupting into a fit of giggles, both of them far too breathless to actually laugh.

"We are never telling her that."

"I agree," she replied as her smile turned into a smirk. "But for now, I think someone deserves a reward."

Even if they didn't tell her, she'd be able to notice the peculiar marks that covered their necks and the obvious blush on their cheeks whenever they made eye contact.

Who could blame them, though? After all, Kate had been the one to put the idea of spending quality time with herself in their head in the first place.

[totallynotmeems]

hot take (kind of) but (so far) i like bit city's ep 2 more than their first ep. rewatch-ability's more out there than the first one to me (prolly not a huge fan of pop culture references that are dated right now lol) prolly my highlights were:

tommy impersonating mrbeast lmao he nailed that shit

majority of the bits of 2008! smosh and 2024! shayne esp him laughing his damn ass off to 2008! ian white cishet chanse

olivia calling angela attractive (she's so real for that) yeah to each their own if you prefer the former or u don't like bit city at all,, cheers to ya

here's to more bit cities

i definitely agree i liked the second episode better, but my favorite part was probably the dumbest :)

WOKE MOB KILLED ME AND MY MOM. i was cackling. PBL made us confused, but it was still funny. the prop 8 lore was crazy. i&a looking at each other when shayne says he's probably the last straight person at smosh is crazy.

[tame-a-messenger]

They have gotten nicer to each other, but it's most likely because they just got used to each other. That's about it. Not everything becomes romantic.

I deeply enjoy seeing them both on screen because I'm a fan of their humour and energy, which is why I like following this pairing, but it strikes me that shippers aren't considering that there are often very simple explanations for things.

(God, this is sounding rude isn't it? I'm not trying to be!)

-> The eating joke: could be any number of things, but sounded like a throwaway reference to an inside joke

-> I don't... see the heart eyes? Damien's always been soft and sweet with people (except when he lets himself be more snarky and sarcastic like we all suspect him to be off-camera). It's only noticeable now with Angela because their original dynamic was more mean-sibling-rivalry.

-> her knowing about that taxidermy Butterfree (I think it was a Butterfree) is really just... stuff you talk about with coworkers. 'oh what's going on?' 'I got this cool thing! *insert long monologue about it*)

-> we know he's been on her podcast, that he's shared his mushroom concoction with her for what was have ostensibly been some kind of throat issue she might have had (or just for a taste). they've been nice and friendly off-camera for a long time. plus, smosh doesn't seem the kind of place that's too big on actual rivalry.

Another big thing is... obviously it's not a good idea to assume another person's sexuality here, but given the thing with Rowan and Angela and Arasha in the revenge LDT episode, I highly doubt Ang is totally straight. So we might never know what she identifies as (and it's not our business to), but assuming they're both cisgendered heterosexual people is just as bad.

Attributing changes on each other is also hard to do, because Smosh not only records videos weeks in advance to their publish date, but also puts up videos in different orders (evidenced by everyone's hair being wildly different sometimes between uploads). So, for all we know, we're seeing X change in them now, which might have been shot before Y incident or Z dialogue.

All this to say that sometimes, the simplest answer really is the answer. i.e. they've just gotten to know each other more and have phased into a more chill interaction style. It just... is a bit uncomfortable to see so much romantic shipping about them when a lot of the thought process is assumptions.

I'm making assumptions too! I acknowledge that! But I just thought it might be a good idea to consider the other angle of things.

Anyway bye, everyone buy the AnthonyIsDead VOD to see Angela and Chanse's halftime show, and hope we get more Damien in videos.

Can't wait for Sword AF 2!

I think you might have misinterpreted my last couple posts.

I think every person that has brought up ANY of the instances has always said they see that it is probably just a coworker thing? and it's not that deep.

Yeah it did sound like a bit of a throwaway joke, but what a weird throwaway?? because really, they could be related?

I fully disagree with the "I don't… see the heart eyes?" you must be blind if you DONT see it. heart eyes don't just mean something 'romantic', it's literally in the NAME "heart-eyes" it just means you can see the love they have for the other person. Damien and Shayne give heart eyes sometimes! it's not a romantic thing all of the time. and yes, they absolutely do give each other heart-eyes.

The butterfree thing was more of a "oh okay! she remembered somehting about him and brought it up! how sweet" it was very obvious it was a 'thing you tell your co-workers' thing

"given the thing with Rowan and Angela and Arasha in the revenge LDT episode, I highly doubt Ang is totally straight." What in Gods glorious world are you talking about??? I literally re-watched that (Let's Do This) episode because I didn't understand what you meant, and what?? the only thing I can think of Angela talking about her orientation is in this video (click me!) where she says she's been on dates and only uses he/him pronouns. (she still is probably under the umbrella, she was recently in a queer woman play(?) but that could just mean Demi or Ace or another identity under queer)

ALSO nobody was assuming she's cis hetero?? and it doesn't matter?? I like them as just them? I don't need either of them to be anything else then themselves.

I think if seeing people talk about shipping on tumblr is making you so uncomfortable you should block the tag.

Majority of the askes I get the Anon always alludes to it "not being that deep". like in the last couple, they kept putting "(delusional)" in their ask, so I think they're pretty aware.

Some of your points came off a little weird Anon but I think I understand your intentions. I think we agree that Damien and Angela are just good co-worker friends, I just love their dynamic and watching them interact <3

YAY SWORD AF DAY!!! LETS GOOOO

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - #150 March 2009

Salutations everyone, and welcome to another chewy edition of Nick Mag Highlights. Today we’ll be reading through Nickelodeon Magazine #150, from March 2009!

First off, I’d like to apologize for the time since my last NMH post. I'm still trying to work out a proper schedule for this blog that makes sure I’m able to get these posts out at a consistent but manageable rate. Anyway, on with the show!

This cover is resoundingly familiar to me (yes, I dare even say nostalgic). 

It’s a classic bit of SpongeBob fare, which was indeed a largely familiar sight for Nickelodeon Magazine covers following SpongeBob SquarePants’ release and subsequent generation-defining popularity. For reference, 2009 saw the release of the show’s sixth season. Man, time flies!

Speaking of 2009, that was also the year that saw the unfortunate end of Nickelodeon Magazine in November. Being honest, that does sort of add a sad twinge to these issues for me, but I’ll set that aside for the sake of unbiased, uh, retrospecting! (Is that a word?) 

You can find the full issue here. Feel free to read along with me, if you’re so inclined!

Let’s see what’s on the menu today… Y’know I always get excited whenever the theme of the issue is something more on the oddly-specific side, like “Friends and Enemies”. You wouldn’t expect a whole magazine of content could be squeezed out of something like that, but that’s what makes it so interesting.

I’m most interested to see how stoic, harpoon-wielding Mr. Krabs ties into all this, especially with the theming. What do you think: friend or foe?

Holy moly, these credits couldn’t be more 2009 if they tried! Ah man, as fun as it was to make fun of Facebook moms back in the day (or, more specifically, watch Smosh make fun of Facebook moms back in the day), but funnily enough I think I now envy that sort of online innocence.

But forget about that! The Kids’ Choice Awards is nearly here! Actually, forget about that. There’s a new iCarly special coming out! Wait, no no no, forget about all of that! There’s a new episode of… uh, The Naked Brothers Band… coming out. Yay? On second thought, never mind, forget about that instead. The first two were way more exciting.

Woah, hey now! Aren’t we getting a bit ahead of ourselves here? The calendar was never this early on in any of the previous issues I’ve covered on this blog so far. I wonder what prompted the format change?

Speaking of change, I see they changed the instructions, too. I’m supposed to put this in a binder now? Who keeps a calendar in a binder? Besides, whenever I’ve had to use a binder for school or what-have-you, I’ve always had to use multiple binders. So I’d need a calendar for each binder, lest I be caught without a way to tell what day I’m even living in! This is madness!

Er, anyway, I can’t help but feel they might have been stretching for stuff to put in the March calendar this year. I mean, nothing against vitamins of course. Or even vitamin facts, for that matter! But I’m not sure they make the best calendar theme.

I would like to give a shoutout to this absolute fashionista on page 7 here. Sorry for all the 3D-printed BFF bling you’d have to make to properly steal her style.

Well isn’t this cute? But don’t let your guard down! It’s still just as much of a puzzle as any other puzzle… And when it comes to Nick that means it’s pretty easy, and this quest to spot the fake story is no different. 

Now I know I sound arrogant, but I will admit I wasn’t always such a whiz-kid! I’m pretty sure when I read this section back in the day I didn’t even notice it was supposed to be a puzzle, so I just took all these stories at face-value. Now, I’m smarter. Now, I can recognize a suspiciously flat, edited-in emu and can compare it to all the other dynamic and much harder to fake photos.

Now, I haven’t even actually checked the answer by the time of writing this, so maybe the fake story is actually the hamster and snake, who knows. I’d sure have egg on my face, wouldn’t I?

Call me crazy, but is that Homer Simpson and Bart in the bottom left near the trash can?

You know what I say, two pages spent on some Where’s Waldo?-style picture puzzle action is nary two pages wasted (I always say that). And this one’s a fun concept! I actually got distracted while writing this trying to find all the different situations that fit the BFF acronym. 

Now, I usually try to shed some light on the wonderful people responsible for Nick Magazine’s distinct art, but I’m actually hard-pressed to find much on Andrew Brisman, the artist behind these pages. Searching him online seems to just unearth a couple of gambling guide books written under the same name. And, regardless of whether or not that’s the same Brisman, I’m more interested in finding credits that are more relevant to what we’re talking about today.

So in that regard, the most I could find was that an Andrew Brisman did work as an editor on Dark Horse Comics’ Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Lost Adventures series. I’m inclined to believe that’s our guy, since a DeviantArt post from a former Nickelodeon Magazine editor indicates Brisman as previously working as a co-editor for an issue of Nickelodeon Magazine centered around the same show.

So yeah! Not every one of these artists is going to be so easy to find, but it’s nice to give credit where credit is due. I wish the best for Brisman, maybe he's doing something for those three new Avatar: The Last Airbender movies in development, eh?

I suppose this is a good way for kids to get the lowdown on all the famous media rivalries they probably already know about. I suppose the real engaging part is trying to figure out what the numbers on the Fight-o-Meter mean. 

Also, is it really necessary to spoil The Empire Strikes Back’s twist like that? I get it’s an old movie, but c’mon, there’s presumably kids reading who didn’t know yet.

I can’t be too critical though, since according to the website of the writer behind this section, she wrote this during an internship at Nick Magazine. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere!

Time for some pull-out pranks! Well, one prank and two small inspirational posters. It’s always weird for me whenever I’m reminded that old meme format in the top left used to just be a poster format people used regularly. 

And here we come across a beautiful cover done by the artist Theo Ellsworth to start off this issue’s Comic Book. If you’d like to check out more of his stuff, it seems your best venue is his Blogger site and Tumblr blog, although they’re seemingly no longer active.

Got to shed some spotlight on Scene but Not Heard once again. I may have brushed it off to the side in the last post but I think that’s a habit I picked up from childhood. Since this comic was so consistent I ended up glossing over it back in the day since I knew it was always going to be there. But in hindsight, that’s really not giving this comic and its creator Sam Henderson enough credit. It must not have been easy coming up with such entertaining, imaginative illustrations consecutively for more than fifteen years! Or maybe it was, I dunno. They’re funny either way.

(Also hello down there, Impy! Man, I love that little guy!)

Oh boy, time for another introduction! Grampa and Julie: Shark Hunters was a serialized comic created for Nickelodeon Magazine by Jef Czekaj, which ran from 1999 all the way to the magazine’s cancellation. It follows a young girl named Julie and her scientist Grampa as they do the, y’know, eponymous shark hunting. Mischief also ensues, I’m pretty sure. 

This comic wasn’t really one of my favorites growing up, and this incredibly wordy two-pager that’s really just setting up for a presumably much more action-packed installment next month isn’t really doing much to change my mind on that. But hey, maybe this is just a bad example. Shark Hunters still had (has?) its fans! The Letters to the Editors section of this issue actually includes a message from a reader begging for the return of this comic, as it apparently had gone on a short hiatus. I hope it was everything they wanted!

Now, that would be all, but there’s a bit more history to go over. In 2006, Klasky Csupo (the company behind Rugrats, The Wild Thornberrys, and Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, among others) produced a ten-minute pilot based on Grampa and Julie: Shark Hunters, and pitched it to Nickelodeon as a potential series. As we know now, the pilot wasn’t picked up. But you can check it out here:

It definitely surprises me how much of a departure in art style and tone this is from the majority of Klasky Csupo's other projects, but I do appreciate them replicating the comic's memorable look. What also surprises me is the casting of Academy Award-winning actor Dustin Hoffman (Kramer vs. Kramer, Rain Man, Kung Fu Panda) as the voice of Grampa! It's definitely an unexpected choice, and it makes me wonder if he would've stayed on the project had the series actually gotten picked up. 

Coming up next is a nice little SpongeBob Squarepants comic. It’s fun to see Sandy and SpongeBob get competitive and the colors are quite nice. Not much to say, but hey, it's nice.

Eventually, due to the rising popularity of video games in the mainstream, Nickelodeon Magazine saw fit to start incorporating a video game-themed section in their issues to give the gaming populace what they wanted. From my memory, these usually consisted of cheat codes and tips, or sometimes a rundown on whatever new Nickelodeon games were coming out at the time. Here we’ve got ourselves a comedic writeup on how some video game characters feel about their best and worst players. It's a funny idea and the illustrations are nice, but I particularly can't get over the absolute verbal thrashing Mario gives to an 8-year old girl in the bottom left section. 

Also this just came to mind, but aren't all these characters essentially doxxing their players here? Let this be a lesson on why you should always read the Terms & Conditions.

See, I told you that we’d be seeing more SpongeBob in this issue! (Don’t fact check that). 

But yeah, 2009 minus 1999 is indeed 10, and Nickelodeon was all-in on capitalizing on their mascot’s milestone anniversary. This celebration eventually culminated in the premiere of an hour-long special episode titled Truth or Square, but on these pages here we can see an example of one of the off-shoot promotions also coinciding with the celebration.

Starting in March (for some reason) and ending at an unspecified month, Nickelodeon challenged fans with various SpongeBob-themed puzzles, available both in-print and online. The answers to these puzzles would then be utilized to unlock the password to a special “digital prize”. Now, I am having difficulty finding out just how long this promotion lasted for or what the digital prize even was, but I’m willing to guess it was a funky desktop wallpaper. If anyone knows anything about this challenge or the digital prize, I’d love to hear it! Feel free to send a message and I’d be happy to include an update on the blog.

And hey, even if this promotion is close to reaching its 15-year anniversary now, we can still appreciate the art for this issue’s puzzle, which depicts a scene similar to an episode from the show’s third season, “Clams”.

Pretty funny designs for this batch of contest submissions. Readers must have been drowning in anticipation during the seven month-long period between the opening of this contest in August of 2008 and the actual results here in March of 2009. I appreciate giving the kids all the time they need to hone their craft.

Got a favorite? I personally am quite fond of the Spikesicle, it definitely stands out amongst its slimy contemporaries. The Man-wich Sundae is pretty good too. I think it have wings?

Holy moly, Spectacular! And not just Spectacular!, but a tear-out poster and a backside that features everything you need to know about the members of the band and their real-life actors! This is so cool! 

…Wait, what the heck is Spectacular!?

Yeah, sorry, but this really is not ringing any bells. And let me remind you, I had this issue as a kid, so I must have read this at some point! I guess my young eyes must’ve just inherently glazed over when it happened upon teen bands. Sorry to any Spectacular! fans who may be reading.

Uh, hm… In regards to anything else to say on the subject… Let's see… 

That’s the girl from Victorious, isn’t it? Victoria Justice? She seems familiar, yeah… 

Ooh, look on the right! They’re making a show about the penguins from that Madagascar movie! Cool!

Holy moly, the Disrepectoids. Such a strange marketing stunt from the likes of a juice box brand ended up giving way to a very short-lived but incredibly memorable childhood fascination for me. Essentially the whole thing was based around these live-action commercials that each showcased a scenario of a kid beating up, destroying, or otherwise causing grief to their helpless Capri Sun juice pouch. Said kid would then pay the price by being turned into a freak called a Disrepectoid, with each kid sporting a different affliction based on the disrespect they gave their pouch. Here’s one of the first commercials, showcasing the origin of the Disrepectoid featured at the forefront of this page, Bobblehead Fred:

Never really understood how hitting a pouch with a baseball bat links with getting turned into a bobblehead. Shouldn’t he get a baseball bat head instead, or something?

This promotion also included a plethora of Flash games and online cartoons hosted on a dedicated website, featuring stylized renderings of the kids from the commercials. Capri Sun obviously wanted this to be a big deal, seeing as how this was a whole magazine page advertising the airing of a commercial. But hey, I bought into it, and to be honest I couldn't really tell you why nowadays. Maybe I just liked the artstyle? 

If you want an idea on how big I was into this, I could genuinely make a whole post just on these guys. Too bad they’re not a magazine!

Anyway, the whole thing lasted about two or three years I’m pretty sure, before Capri Sun shelved the concept and went back to being a drink for kids who play sports or something, I dunno. Still, for the short time it was around I found the Disrespectoids brand incredibly imaginative and engaging.

Another issue in the bag! It was fun doing another Nick Mag from my childhood. Hopefully it was fun to read, too! As might be able to tell, this was definitely a trip down memory lane. 

Anyway, in regards to my schedule. I was thinking of shifting to something bi-weekly (of the every two weeks variety, not twice a week). Take a look:

So yeah! Hopefully this will allow me to stay refreshed and still keep making stuff people want to see. This blog is already growing bigger than I would've expected and I've gotten nice feedback from people who appreciate Nickelodeon Magazine just like I do. I'm excited to see where this blog goes, and thank you to everyone who's here to see it! 

Have a great day, and as always, keep reading! 

[sugarsmosh]

Hi there! I just saw Damien's really lovely birthday post for Shayne. Can I ask you if they are still best friends? Obviously, as Damien said in his post they are close friends but are they still BFF? I don't watch Smosh content as much as I used to, but I have seen Damien and Shayne in a few videos together recently and it seems to me their dynamic/energy is a little bit off. I'm (hopefully) completely wrong, but it just makes me a little uneasy.

tbf idk them so i can’t confidently declare their irl status. but in vids they still refer to each other as best friends. like in the recent smosh games assassins creed video damien called shayne his best friend, if that’s any consolation lmao

i do agree with their dynamic being different, and the way i see it that’s result of them now growing differently as ppl. like before they practically grew into adulthood together. so you can see earlier on how they naturally had similar interests, humor, & stuff. but i think that these last few years they’ve been starting to truly find themselves individually. to me it’s very noticeable looking at videos from 2+ years ago to now and seeing how they’ve really changed. so as a result i’d think their dynamic and synergy would as well. and imo that’s ok! even if they aren’t as close, it’s ok for ppl to grow apart bc that’s just life. i don’t see it much as a bad thing. at the very least they’ve proven that they’re still good friends, and i wouldn’t worry much about anything ���🏽‍♀️

[3rddimension]

Regarding the anon that asked about "Maddie":

That was during the time I was on my hiatus away from smosh content, so I had to do a bit of digging. The "Maddie" they refer to may be Madison Brunoehler, who appeared in 4 smosh vids (+ has writing credit in another vid). She has her own YT channel "Madi2theMax", were she posts sporadically. Also, she actually debuted before Olivia & Noah in a video, and Keith beat her out by about a month. In cronological order, these are the vids she's on:

If Guys Had Girl Problems

The Internet In Real Life (Noah's smosh debut)

If Romantic Movies Were Real

Video Game Items in Real Life

If Board Games Were Real (Writing credit; posted about 3 months after her last appearance)

This is all I could find & just like smosh, it seems she hasn't brought up why she didn't continue working with them.

Wow, thanks for the full details!!! I'll check those out later when I have time.

[bitchassmcgrass]

More info under the cut. I'll try to make future updates (if any) short or with cuts to avoid clogging up your dashboard.

The point of this project is to make a programming block (usually six hours, since that's usually the max you can get on a standard vhs tape on EP) containing videos from YouTube and Newgrounds, currently looking at Eddsworld, Tomska, Smosh, AVGN, and maybe Filthy Frank videos, all of this including adult swim esque bumps in between.

The last project had no video editing, purely relying on recording footage that others have recorded, as if I was recording the source footage to a tape myself (albeit a little out of order chronologically at times). The Real Will Wood tape was also easy to edit, as I just stretched the movie from 16:9 to 4:3, and then added the fbi warning and some commercials for the movie at the start, and threw in some bonus scenes at the end. (I also edited the credits sequence, once the lights are turned off during the green screen bit on the left, it's nearly impossible to make anything out on a CRT, so I scaled the credits up on the right to take up the whole screen, making them much more readable. Makes literally no real difference except to me.)

This project is going to be me basically making my own programming block. Picking music for the bumps, adding short introductions to videos (or just rambling about whatever) for the text, and editing videos that may have been presented in 16:9 in 4:3, either by stretching the video or by cropping it down to just the most important parts.

Why am I doing this? For two reasons.

1) It's YouTube on a VHS tape, how fucking cool is that?

2) I have a feeling that the Xbox 360 internet service is going to die soon. With the XBL marketplace being shut down last month, I feel I have very little time before I won't be able to watch YouTube on the Xbox anymore, and I'll have to upgrade to a more modern console or system of watching youtube on my TV. I would like to avoid that hassle as much as possible, and think rather than having another device to put my information into in order to watch YouTube with ads, I can simply just port as much as I can to DVD or VHS (or even just download to my computer) and watch that way.

Is it a very stupid reason? Yes. Is that going to stop me? No. Why? Please refer to Reason 1 above.

The working title of the project is Digital Guillotine. I will have that in the tags of any potential future posts in order to let people block me rambling about this project from their dash. The name Digital Guillotine comes from the idea of blocking every celebrity and big account on social media, in order to disconnect from drama, and live a more peaceful life. I didn't know about this when I came up with the name, I just thought the name sounded badass and googled it to make sure I wasn't stealing someone elses name. It turns out that the name was quite fitting.

Anyways, that's about all I wanted to say. If I know you irl, you'll probably end up seeing a bunch of these tapes scattered around my living quarters. I'll also make some update posts if anything notable happens, or if I just feel like rambling.

I've decided that since I can no longer find any archived adult swim tapes, I am going to start making vhs tapes with old youtube videos that I like on them, mostly flash cartoons and shit.

[5amforever]

I posted 361 times in 2021

2 posts created (1%)

359 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 179.5 posts.

I added 10 tags in 2021

#monster hiiiiiiiiiiigh - 1 posts

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#ace pride - 1 posts

#the bit is about how the last hour of the night (5am) feels like it takes forever - 1 posts

#from one of their fnaf playthroughs - 1 posts

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Longest Tag: 89 characters

#honestly its just so nice to know other people exist that know you do but also not really

My Top Posts in 2021

#2

Ayo shout out to my mutuals and people who like spam my posts, nice to see the notifs and know y'all ain't dead

2 notes • Posted 2021-08-10 00:03:42 GMT

#1

reblog if you enjoy learning little things about your mutuals through the personality posts they reply to

3 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 21:23:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[a-singleboat]

Just for Laughs

Word Count: 2.7k

Request:  Could you do a Noah fanfic with either the sixth or eighth prompt on Fake Family!? :) - anon

There were three things you knew about living in Los Angeles. The first was to never walk anywhere alone at night. Between the constant tourists and the fact that you were vertically challenged, it was easy for you to get lost in the crowd. The second was to never forget to bring your pepper spray with you--which you had. It was an honest mistake. In between rushing out of the house that morning and spilling lukewarm coffee on yourself, you figured you could allow that one slip up. 

The third thing you knew about living in Los Angeles, however, was that you could always call on your best friend to get you out of a sticky situation if you ever needed. 

So now, at two in the morning, you called him up and explained your situation. After wrapping up the closing shift at the bar, you realized that you had let the time slip away from you yet again. The trains stopped their service at one am, you knew that, but the tourists in the area didn’t. 

“Again,” you said, drawing your black cardigan closer to your body. “I’m really sorry about this, Noah. There were some late customers and Phil had already left for the night so I didn’t really know what to do and by the time I actually managed to kick them out, it was two.”

“It’s fine, Y/n,” he assured you over the phone. You heard the jangling of keys on the other side as a door closed, his car starting up not even a second later. “But you have to make this up to me.”

You shivered slightly in the November chill. While the weather during the day wasn’t terribly cold, the nights could prove hypothermic. 

“Fine,” you said, rubbing your arms to generate what little heat you could. “I’ll do whatever, thank you.”

“I’ll be there in ten,” he promised before hanging up. You slipped your phone back into the small bag you carried and drew your keys. If you didn’t have your pepper spray, you’d at least be able to defend yourself with the semi-sharp pieces of metal. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have to stab anyone that night. True to his word, Noah arrived ten minutes later, honking his horn twice. 

You clambered into his car, apologizing and thanking him profusely yet again. He waved you off, signaling to pull away from the curb. 

“It’s really okay, Y/n,” he said, setting off toward your apartment. “Besides, mom would kill me if I just left you to fend for yourself.”

You giggled. Mom. He was of course, referring to his own mother. After yours had died when you were very little, you had bonded with the strange boy that brought you flowers the day after the funeral. And while Denise couldn’t truly replace your own mother, she acted enough like her to gain the title. 

“So you know how I said you’d owe me?” Noah asked, finally pulling into his assigned parking space. 

You nodded. 

“Well…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re doing recording for a Smosh Pit video next week and Courtney’s bringing her sister and I was thinking…”

“You want me to be your sister for the video as well,” you guessed, getting out of the car. He killed the engine and got out as well, locking the doors before the two of you headed toward the building. 

It was lucky that the two of you had managed to find a place with two vacancies. You were separated only by an older woman named Barbara and her three cats, which neither of you minded considering you were both avid cat people. 

The two of you walked up to your floor, the elevator being out of service for the time being. He told you a little more about the premise of the video, in which you and Courtney’s sister would essentially be going through embarrassing moments and videos of the two from their childhood. 

“So basically I get to make fun of you to your fans while they all think that I’m your biological sister?” you asked, key already in the door. You already knew you were going to say yes, after all, you owed him. You twisted the handle and removed the key, opening the door. “Am I getting paid?”

“Uh, yes,” Noah said. “If you agree to it, Ian, my boss, will send all the information to you and the paperwork and stuff as well.”

You propped the door open with one foot, reaching in slightly to hang your keys on the hook just inside your door. You held your hand out to the man, who gladly shook it. 

“I’ll be there,” you promised, inching into your apartment. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I wish to no longer reek of alcohol.”

Noah laughed. “Yeah, and other things.”

You hit him with your bag, not hard enough to hurt, and laughed as well. 

“Goodnight, Noah,” you said, waving to him.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

A week later and you were really feeling the nerves. You’d gone to the address that Noah had sent you and after a brief reunion with Keith, you were buzzed in and brought up to the studios. There, you said hello to a few people you remembered from an event Noah had hosted in his apartment before being directed to where Noah’s desk sat. 

It wasn’t long before your best friend came and gathered you, wrapping you in his arms and messing with your hair. You swatted at him, telling him to back off before using your phone’s camera to fix the rat’s nest that he had created atop your head. You were’;t really annoyed, having spent no time doing your hair. The most you’d done that day was put a bit of product in to contain the frizz. 

Humidity really was not your friend. 

“You ready to go?” he asked, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. “They’re pretty much ready for us.”

You stood up from his seat, grabbing your phone but leaving your bag. “You never told me exactly what you guys were filming today, Noah. Like, you said it was a Smosh Pit video but didn’t really explain what it was.”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, there was a reason why I told you to bring an extra set of clothes.” 

Right. Last minute that morning, Noah had texted for you to bring an extra set of clothes. Just in case, he had stressed. 

“Basically, it’s like newlyweds but with sisters,” he explained, weaving through various equipment pieces and clothing racks. You’d worked in entertainment before, you know how chaotic behind the scenes could get. This was clean for a production day. “Sarah, one of our producers will ask us questions that we’ll try and answer. If we answer the same, we get a point. If we don’t, we don’t get a point.”

You tried to think back to who Sarah was. You knew Keith and Courtney, two of Noah’s work friends, but knew none of the rest of them. Sarah… She must have been the bubbly half American, half-Korean producer and Social Media manager that appeared in videos from time to time. 

“Seems simple enough,” you replied, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you waited next to him. You had stopped outside of the studio doors to wait for Courtney and her sister, Kari. Between the two of you, Kari had more Smosh appearances under her belt than you did--not that you had any to begin with. 

It didn’t take long for the sisters to arrive, Courtney greeting you with a massive hug while you and Kari settled for the, “hey, we just met but this is polite,” hug. 

“You never really explained why I needed to bring an extra set of clothes,” you said, poking Noah in the side. They had allowed you into the studio at that point.

“The losing team gets pied,” Courtney supplied, looking at Noah. “Why didn’t you tell your sister that you were getting pied?”

You looked over at Noah with an incredulous look. “Noah! I think that would have been important to know.”

“It just slipped my mind!” he defended himself, laughing as you swatted at him. Neither of you bothered to correct Courtney’s claim that you were siblings. You figured she knew and just referred to what everyone else called you.

You chatted a bit longer, just getting to know each other and get more comfortable with each other when someone came over to attach microphones to your person. You let them do their job, thanking them when they backed away. 

Another woman came over, this time dressed a little more like a show hostess. 

“I’m Sarah,” she introduced herself, holding out a hand for you to shake. You gave her your name, laughing at the comment she made about how you and Noah had different last names. 

“It happens sometimes,” you joked, shrugging your shoulders. You figured that at this point, if they didn’t know you weren’t actually related, you wouldn’t try to correct them. 

Soon enough, filming started and you were handed a whiteboard and a marker, an eraser sitting on the table between you and Noah. You listened as Sarah explained the rules of the game. In order to gain a point, the answers had to be correct, or had to be similar or even the same. If you don’t answer it right, you didn’t get the point. At the end of the game of three rounds, the losing team would be getting pied. 

“First question is for the Grossmans!” Sarah announced, turning slightly so she was facing you and Noah. “What is their star sign?”

You scribbled ‘Aquarius,’ knowing it right off the top of your head. You kept your eyes on your own board, only looking up at Sarah when you were finished. She called time and you both revealed your answers. 

“Aquarius,” Sarah read, looking at your board before moving to Noah’s. She read out your star sign, which you confirmed was correct, gaining the two of your a point. You gave Noah a high five as you went to erase your board. 

The game continued on, you getting almost every question right while Courtney and Kari practically tied you at every question. 

“Okay!” Sarah said, setting her cards down. “Here’s a tie breaker for the two teams. Whoever wins this will not be getting pied and, in fact, will be receiving this ten-dollar gift card to Starbucks that I stole from Matt Raub’s wallet earlier today.”

You laughed at the joke, laughing even harder when Matt Raub himself yelled, “Hey!” and then, “Not sponsored!” from off-stage. 

“Our last question is…” Sarah opened the glued-together piece of paper, reading the question before saying, “What’s a secret that only the two of you know?”

You looked over at Noah, silently asking how that was a question valid to the newlywed game. He just shrugged and picked up his marker, writing down his answer. You picked up your own marker and jotted something down as well. 

A few moments later, Sarah called time and you recapped your marker, setting it down on the table.

“Okay,” she said, clapping her hands together. “Since we started with Noah and Y/n last time, we’ll let Courtney and Kari go first this time.”

You watched as Kari turned her board around first, her secret scrawled on the whiteboard. 

“Um,” she said looking down at her answer. “I said a secret that the two of us shared was a time when we were exploring one day and Courtney had dropped her phone over the cliff. We told our dad that she’d actually just dropped it while walking and didn’t tell them about how we scaled the cliff to get it back.”

“No!” Courtney cried, flipping her board. “I said the time when I drove into the fence and you lied and took the blame for it because I didn’t have my license yet!”

All five of you laughed as Courtney told the story, playing up the humor for the cameras. 

“Well, Courtney and Kari,” Sarah said, frowning, “sadly you did not answer this correctly so we’re going to go to Noah and Y/n.” She turned to face the two of you. “Noah, Y/n. If you get this right, you will be crowned the winners. Are you ready?”

You nodded nervously, picking at the corner of the whiteboard. 

“I’m ready,” you affirmed, looking at Noah who replied the same. 

“Okay,” Sarah said, holding a hand out to you. “Y/n, please reveal your answer.”

You flipped the board, letting the cameras and the room read the words written there. 

“What?” Sarah asked in disbelief, reading the board. “Is this real?” 

You laughed. “Yes, this is real. Noah and I aren’t actually siblings.”

Noah turned his board around too, revealing that he had written the same thing. He laughed as Sarah fanned herself, playing up her disbelief for the camera. 

“We always joke we’re siblings, but someone didn’t realize we were joking,” you explained, laughing. You set the whiteboard down on the table. “So we were seeing how far we can carry this out and apparently twenty years is the answer.”

“We would’ve kept it going but we thought you guys had already caught on,” Noah said. “Sarah even made the last name comment earlier.”

“I was joking!” Sarah said, laughing. “I thought Y/n was married or something, I don’t know!”

You shook your head. “Marriage will not be anytime soon, but I appreciate you taking it with stride, Sarah.”

Everyone laughed, Courtney and Noah doing part of the video’s outro before the video cut out so they could rearrange the room so they could pie Courtney and Kari.

“Wait,” Sarah and Courtney stopped you from moving too far away from them. “So Noah and you aren’t really related?”

You laughed. “No, but his mom is basically my mom. We grew up next door to each other and instead of falling madly in love I got a really cool older brother that brings me to his job and gets me into videos.” 

They called for Courtney and Kari to stand on the tarp in the middle of the room, setting up the pies on the table in front of them. You met back with Noah, who had disappeared to use the bathroom, and linked arms with him, standing to the side. 

“Can I just say, I am so glad we’re not the ones getting pied today,” you joked, watching as Courtney and Kari were given ponchos that would try to save their outfits. 

“Same here,” Noah said, grinning as Courtney looked upset as she slipped the plastic poncho over her head. 

When they were finally set, Sarah waved Noah and you back onto the set. She handed each of you a pie, positioning you both in front of the sisters. 

You were paired with Courtney while Noah was put in front of Kari, pies at the ready. You listened as they did a mass countdown, squeaking out an, “I’m so sorry,” before pushing the pie into Courtney’s face. You held it there for a moment, moving it back and forth before letting it fall off her face. 

It splattered onto the floor, getting a bit on your shoes. You kicked the pie away from yourself, laughing as Courtney tasted a bit of the whipped cream. 

“This is really good,” she joked, scraping a bit off her cheek and sucking her finger into her mouth. 

You helped her clean the pie off her shoulders while Noah pied Kari, both of you laughing when the entirety of the pie somehow fell out of the platter and over Kari’s shoulders. 

“Thank you for watching!” Noah said, still laughing as he tried to clean some of the pie off Kari’s shoulders. “You can find Kari on Instagram at Karimiller and you can find Y/n at [instagram handle]!” 

“Thank you guys for coming and hanging out with us!” Courtney said, reaching over to hug her sister. Noah grabbed you in for a hug as well, waving at the camera as Matt Raub yelled, “cut!”

[smooshjames]

forget you not (epilogue)

‘cause we’ve come, we’ve come so far, oh, baby (or: a second chance)

word count: 4k

a/n: i finally got my butt in gear and wrote the epilogue of forget you not! i still don’t think i’m 100% happy with how it came out, but if i edit / re-write it any more my head will explode. a reminder that i didn’t write any of the songs mentioned in this story (they all belong to little mix). and here are the links to this chapter’s songs: x, x, x. while we’re on the topic of links, here’s one to my ko-fi in case you want to buy me a coffee. no pressure if you can’t (or just don’t want to), i’m just glad you guys take the time to read my work. i hope you enjoy, and thank you for all the overwhelming support, it means the world to me <3

warnings: blink-and-you’ll-miss-it angst (i couldn’t help myself), i think that’s it ?? this is just a lot of fluff and the happy ending we deserve

previous parts: one, two, three, four, five

You called exactly one week later.

It was around six o’clock (nine o’clock for you, Shayne noted). He had just gotten home from work and was contemplating what to have for dinner when his phone started buzzing. He pulled it out of his pocket disinterestedly, figuring it was probably Damien or his mom. When he saw your name on his phone screen, however, his heart nearly stopped beating.

He took a deep breath and answered the call.

“Hey,” he said. He sounded mildly out of breath and hoped desperately that you wouldn’t notice. “What’s up?”

“I said I’d call,” you said. Your voice was shaky, your tone unsure. You were putting emphasis on all the wrong syllables. Shayne could picture you in his head; you on your couch in your nice New York apartment, dressed in something comfortable, a vision of natural beauty.

Shayne didn’t reply, just silently willed you to continue. He sat down on the couch.

“Um… it was fun. The sex, I mean.” There was a long pause. Shayne held his breath. “I would… next time one of us is in town, I think it would be good to hang out again. Maybe we can get to know each other again.” Another long pause. “Get to know each other like hanging out and talking, I mean, not like… not like wink-wink getting to know each other, not that I don’t want to have sex with you again, I just…” You stopped again, and he could practically see the grimace on your face. “Jesus, okay. I’m gonna stop talking now.”

Shayne grinned so wide he thought his face might get stuck that way.

“Okay,” he said. “I’d like that.”

Another pause, one which could have lasted three seconds or three years.

“I’m really glad we got to see each other again,” he said. He was careful to keep his tone light, decidedly avoiding any words that might send the I still love you vibe. He didn’t want to push the boat out on another chance with you too soon, but absence absolutely makes the heart grow fonder. There was a part of him that already had the color scheme for your wedding planned, a part of him that felt sure you’d give him a second chance. After all, you’d spent the night together, and now you were calling him back. That had to mean something, right?

But he knew, rationally, that you were still smarting from what had happened all those years ago, and he knew that you had every right to be. He figured you would want to take things slow.

And then, before his brain could really think about it, his mouth said: “I want… I really want to try again, if you… if you want to. I think we could do things right this time.”

So much for taking things slow.

There was another long silence. Shayne was almost certain his heart was going to pound out of his chest.

“I want to try again, too,” you said. Shayne felt his shoulder sag in relief. “I’ve missed you a lot. But, um, it’s late here and I worked all day. I should get ready for bed. I’ll have Michelle look at my schedule tomorrow and we can figure out a good time for me to fly back out there, okay?”

“Okay,” he said. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Shayne.”

The line went dead. Shayne sat back on his couch and stared up at his ceiling in wonder. A second chance. He couldn’t fucking believe it.

All he had to do now was get it right this time.

***

A month passed, and then two, and then six. You and Shayne flew from New York to LA and back more times than you could count. You squeezed texting, calling, and facetiming into every spare second. Shayne made himself endlessly available to you, and you did the same for him. You were constantly in trouble with Michelle for getting distracted during interviews and meetings and recording sessions. Rumors circulated that there was a man in your life, which, for a while, you didn’t confirm or deny.

You knew that you’d have to go public eventually, something you discussed with Shayne early on in your second attempt. You were both far more in the public eye now than you’d been five years ago, which meant people would put pieces together sooner than you wanted them to. Finally, after two months, the two of you decided it was time to call it official. Instagram posts went up, fans lost their minds, the comments of your Smosh video were dominated almost exclusively with references to you and Shayne.

At the four-month mark, you discussed moving out to LA permanently. You’d still be spending a lot of time apart while the band toured, but you would at least be able to go home to him full-time in between the months on the road.

Carly asked if it felt a little soon, and you told her it didn’t. If your first attempt at a relationship with Shayne had been more-or-less a strong one (save for the end), this attempt was iron-clad. Shayne had matured more than you ever could’ve hoped for. The years apart made him wiser, more willing to confront his feelings and his issues. And in your five years of being single, you had found something infinitely more valuable than a shiny new relationship: self-worth. You knew what you deserved, and a happy, loving relationship was one of those things. You no longer lived in fear of Shayne running off at the first sign of someone better than you. You were far more willing to fight for yourself and for your relationship. 

You spent a couple of months deliberating whether you’d move to LA. The time it took you to think was in part caused by some hesitation, but more than anything caused by the fact that the band was recording a new album. You couldn’t think about much of anything besides choruses and hooks and beats.

Your hang-ups about the move were more practical than anything; it wasn’t that you didn’t want to move, it was that cross-country moves were infamously stressful and problem-filled. Not to mention, the rest of the band still lived in New York, which might cause professional complications (and would most certainly cause personal heartache; you weren’t necessarily ecstatic about living almost 3,000 miles from your best friends).

You finally made the decision during a late-night, insomnia-induced facetime call. You called Shayne at four in the morning one night after tossing and turning for hours. He picked up on the third ring, and you could tell immediately that he had been asleep; his surroundings were completely blacked out, his face only visible from the light of his phone screen. He was squinting at the screen, face scrunched up in a way that made your heart swell with the urge to kiss him, as his eyes adjusted to the brightness. And when he spoke, his voice was gruff with disuse.

“Hey,” he said. He didn’t seem the slightest bit upset at being woken up, but there was definite concern on his face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you replied, “I’m sorry to wake you. I can’t sleep. I wanted to see you.”

If you lived in LA, whispered the ever-present voice in the back of your mind, you wouldn’t have to call him to see him. If you lived in LA, you’d be fast asleep in his arms right now.

Shayne hummed sympathetically and you heard the blankets rustling as he rolled over on his back. The angle was about as unflattering as it could have possibly been, but you didn’t care. In fact, you loved him all the more for it.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said. His words were just slightly slurred, like his tongue was still heavy from sleep. “What’s keeping you awake?”

You sighed and scrubbed a hand over your eyes. “I don’t really know,” you replied. “A lot of things, I guess. It’s been a couple of weeks since we saw each other last, so I’ve been trying to find a good time to fly out there, but I’m completely booked for the next few months. The new album has been kicking our asses and we’re nowhere near where we need to be if we’re gonna make the deadline, so we’ve been working all hours, which means everyone’s sleep schedules are completely fucked. I’m pretty sure Alexis and Piper are still at the studio right now.”

He hummed low in his throat again, nodding slowly. There was a moment where he seemed to be debating which part of your speech to address first. “Well, don’t worry too much about flying out. You know I love seeing you in person, but I don’t want making time for me to be too stressful for you. I’m perfectly content with long-distance if that’s what you need to do.”

You smiled despite yourself. Shayne had established this rule early-on; you never needed to worry about going to see him if going to see him would jeopardize your work or your personal wellbeing. If you couldn’t handle the stress of a flight across the country, he would either come to you or you’d just make texting and calling work until one of you could get on a plane.

But in this instance (and in every other instance), you didn’t want to see him in person just so that he would be satisfied. You wanted to see him in person because seeing him in person was infinitely better than seeing him through the phone. You wanted to be there when he got home from work, to kiss him goodnight and good morning, to fall asleep next to him.

“I’m gonna move out there,” you said, surprising even yourself with the conviction in your tone.

“What?” he asked. The camera shook for a moment and you imagined he was sitting up in bed. “Seriously?”

You nodded. “Seriously. I’ll talk to everyone tomorrow and then I’ll call you and we can figure out the logistics. I need to be with you, Shayne. I think now’s as good a time as there’ll ever be.”

***

It took a month of you living together for Shayne to track down the old ring. He’d kept it all these years, though he could never quite put a finger on why. At least, until now.

As he rifled through his closet searching for the little blue box, he knew exactly why he’d kept it. For five years, he’d hoped against hope that you would come back to him. He’d hoped that despite it all, you could still be soulmates, just like he’d known you were before he went and fucked it up.

He found the box. It was a little dusty, but the ring inside was preserved perfectly. He moved it from the bottom of his closet to the back corner of his sock drawer, which felt like a more appropriate hiding place for a ring that was no longer going unused (hopefully).

You were currently back in New York to finish recording the new album, and then you would begin tour rehearsals in LA. The reasons for that were threefold; first, there was a choreographer based in LA that you desperately wanted to work with; second, the tour would kick off in LA, so it made sense to do the rehearsals in the place you would start; and third, you had convinced the rest of the band to do it in LA so that you could be close to Shayne. They, being your best friends and considering the other two reasons, had agreed happily. The proximity was good for Shayne, not only because it meant he got to spend time with you, but because it meant he could consult Carly. He figured that if anyone would know if you were ready to marry him, it would be her.

A week or so into tour rehearsals, the two of you hosted a dinner party at your apartment. You invited the Smosh Squad, the band, and a few other mutual friends. It was a challenge fitting everyone into the small space, but you made it work.

Shayne managed to find Carly after dinner was over and everyone had broken up to mingle. You were occupied with Olivia, Courtney, and Piper, and Carly was only talking to Damien, so Shayne figured it was his golden opportunity.

He sidled up to Carly and Damien and shot Damien a Hey man, you know what I’m about to do look (Damien was well aware of his plans, of course; Shayne had texted him the very second marriage popped into his head). Damien nodded.

“Hey, Carly,” Shayne said. She gave him a barely-civil look and took a sip of her drink. She still didn’t entirely trust him, which Shayne couldn’t blame her for; the way he understood it, she had been the one to pick up the pieces of the mess he made. He knew she was only playing nice with him for your sake. “Can I talk to you in private?”

“Sure,” she replied. She narrowed her eyes at him, obviously suspicious, even as she gestured for him to begin walking. “Lead the way.”

Shayne beckoned her into the bedroom, which was the only place not occupied by dinner guests, and rifled around in his sock drawer until he found the ring. He turned and presented it to Carly.

She choked on her drink.

“You’re going to propose?” she asked, volume just lower than a shout, obviously incredulous. Shayne shushed her frantically and glanced over to the open archway into the living room, thoroughly regretting not closing the door and praying to God that no one had heard. “Sorry, I just… Jesus, okay.” And then, in a much more reasonable tone of voice: “You’re going to propose?”

“I’m thinking about proposing,” Shayne corrected her. He set the ring back in his sock drawer. “I haven’t made my mind up yet. I don’t want to ask and freak her out. I figured you might know her thoughts on it.”

Carly narrowed her eyes at him, appraising. Shayne got the disturbing feeling that she could see straight into his soul; it was like she was looking through him, not at him. He shifted uncomfortably.

“Y/N is my best friend,” Carly said after a few seconds. Shayne nodded his understanding but didn’t dare speak. “After you destroyed her -- and you did destroy her, and it was your fault, even as much as she’s tried time and time again to convince me otherwise -- I was there for her. I have seen her at her lowest, most desperate points, and I have seen her at her most joyful. She is my best friend. She is my sister.

“All this to say, Shayne, that if you hurt her again, I can and will -- in fact, I am obligated to -- make your death look like an accident.”

Shayne nodded again, struck speechless. He was reminded of a conversation he’d had with you some time ago: he’d mentioned that he thought Carly didn’t like him, and you had conceded that she didn’t. But, you’d said, don’t worry too much. She’s all bark and no bite, and she just cares. She’ll come around to you.

As she stood in front of him now, fire in her eyes, tension in her shoulders, chin held high, Shayne was absolutely convinced that this woman was 100% bite. She quirked an eyebrow, waiting for him to speak. He was somehow more intimidated by Carly than he had been by your family.

“I love her, too,” he said. “That’s one thing we have in common. I know that I hurt her, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret it. I should’ve done things so much differently five years ago, I know that, and I’m sorry I didn’t. But by some miracle, she’s given me a second chance, and I’m not gonna fuck it up this time. I want to marry her with everything I have, Carly. I need to know that she’ll say yes.”

There was another silent moment as Carly appraised him. She glanced over at the sock drawer, where the ring was safely tucked away, and then back to him. “Okay,” she said. Shayne’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Here’s what we’re gonna do.”

***

You rehearsed for two months before the first concert of the new tour. In the week leading up to it, you were riddled with nerves; you were exhausted from long rehearsals and yet you couldn’t sleep, you had to force yourself to eat, you had dreams of getting on stage and forgetting all your choreography, or, worse, the lyrics to your own songs.

Shayne did his best to help you. He stayed up with you when you were having insomnia, even if his work suffered for it the following day, and he brought you food sometimes when rehearsals ran past your allotted lunch or dinner break. He was a godsend.

Finally, the big day arrived; it was the opening night of your tour. The new album had been out for a couple of weeks and it was doing well so far. The concert hall was slightly bigger than the one you’d performed at last time you were in LA. But sitting in your dressing room with shaking hands, about to attend the pre-show meet and greet, the nervous churning in your gut felt eerily similar to the way it felt eight months prior.

And, like eight months prior, Carly came to collect you. You walked with her down the hallway and to the meet and greet room, which had an almost identical setup; white backdrop and four stools on one side, camera equipment and a friendly man named Rob on the other.

You and the rest of the band gave Michelle the all-clear to let guests in, and the meet and greet began.

It was around the halfway mark when the door opened and you heard familiar voices walking in. Your face split into a wide grin as Noah, Keith, Olivia, Courtney, Damien, Ian, and Shayne rounded the backdrop. All of you had grown pretty close over the last few months, between you living with Shayne and occasionally visiting him at work. You had actually been in talks with Ian to appear on a SmoshCast once the tour was over.

Hugs were exchanged between the band and all your friends. You greeted Shayne with a kiss on the cheek, and Courtney with the complicated secret handshake you two had been working on.

The entire massive group took a photo together, and then your adoring fans left to find their seats. Your heart felt lighter for having seen them, and knowing that they would be in the audience worked wonders to calm your nerves. It was the exact opposite effect of your last meet and greet experience with Shayne.

The meet and greet ended, mic check passed, and the beginning of the concert approached. You took a deep breath. You did your pre-show ritual. You got into places. The concert began.

The first half of the show went off without a hitch. The fans were obviously loving it, and you (miraculously) remembered everything you were supposed to do. You were constantly glancing back at Shayne and your friends, both for comfort and to make sure they were enjoying themselves. Occasionally, you’d make eye contact with one of them and they’d flash you enthusiastic thumbs-ups. Every time you looked at Shayne, without fail, he was looking back at you, which made your heart beat just that much faster.

As you were introducing Your Love, though, you glanced over and saw that Shayne was no longer sitting with the group. You frowned but figured he had gone to the bathroom. Damien flashed you a grin and a thumbs-up from his seat next to Shayne’s.

The song began and you didn’t have time to think about anything else as you started to sing: “Luxurious lovin’ like Egyptian cotton, if I ain’t got nothing, least I got you.”

This particular song hadn’t been written with Shayne in mind, but it was hard to think of anything else as you sang the lovey-dovey lyrics. Every time you glanced over at his seat, though, he was still gone. It wasn’t that big of a deal, you knew, but you were somewhat saddened by the fact that you couldn’t serenade him (or at least make eye contact with him) while you sang.

Alexis had the second verse. You were swaying to the beat and moving across the stage to your mark when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You almost ignored it and kept moving; you were in show mode, so you chalked it up at first to a backup dancer brushing against you or something of the sort. But then you took in your surroundings and stopped in your tracks.

Alexis was still singing, but she and the rest of the band had turned their eyes to you. In fact, everyone on stage was looking at you. The audience was screaming, and you thought you heard your name a few times, but it was impossible to make anything out, and a screaming audience at a concert wasn’t exactly unusual. Your heart still plummeted, though, and you wondered if you’d done something wrong. You made eye contact with Piper, standing off to your right, and she nodded encouragingly and motioned toward you as if to say turn around.

You did, and what you saw almost made you drop your mic. Your jaw practically hit the floor.

There, on one knee in front of you, was Shayne. He was holding a little blue box, and inside the box was the most beautiful ring you’d ever seen. He was smiling up at you, hope and adoration in his eyes. As your band-mates launched into the second chorus of the song, you nodded enthusiastically and allowed Shayne to put the ring on your finger. The audience was going insane. He pulled you into a tight hug.

“I promise I’m gonna get it right this time. I love you so much,” he said. You nodded against him. When he pulled back, he laughed softly and reached up to wipe his thumb over your cheek; you realized with a start that you were crying. “Happy tears?” he asked, just loudly enough that you could make it out over the noise.

You nodded and leaned in to kiss him. You weren’t normally big on PDA, and you were pretty sure kissing in front of a concert hall full of people definitely counted as PDA, but you figured you could make an exception just this once. When you pulled away and brought the mic back up to your mouth to sing, you kept one arm around his shoulders and hardly took your eyes off him. You could feel yourself missing your choreography, but you didn’t care. Your world had narrowed to just the two of you. Shayne, the love of your life, your fiancé, standing next to you with the biggest smile you’d ever seen, looking at you like you were his everything.

You finished the song and kissed Shayne again before he had to get offstage. He leaned in to whisper in your ear, “I’ll see you after the show. Knock ‘em dead, beautiful.”

And then he went backstage. A minute later, you saw him return to his seat in the audience, where he was almost immediately engulfed in a patented Damien Bear Hug. You smiled at your friends and then turned back to the audience. They had only marginally quieted down since the end of the song. You brought the mic to your mouth. “I’m engaged, ya’ll!”

A fresh round of cheering erupted and your band-mates rushed over to wrap you in a group hug. You felt another few tears spill over and wiped them away. You’d only felt joy like this a handful of times, and it more than made up for all the sadness Shayne had caused you.

You knew, as you launched into Nothing Else Matters, that this was the beginning of a long, happy future. Your life with Shayne would, of course, have its ups and downs, but after everything, you knew this for sure: with him by your side, you could weather any storm that came your way. And he was more than worth it.

[thosedamnsmoshkids]

i was tagged to do this by a few people, so here it is!

Name: Cass

Birthday: October 13th

Zodiac Sign: Libra, babye!

Height: 5′9″ (i think?)

Hobbies: Writing, photoshop, beating my brother at smash, scheming, checking discord

Favorite Color: #667290 (a periwinkle blue), or #9db955 (quite a lovely shade of green)

Favorite Books: OOH! The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron; Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, and literally anything by Rick Riordan

Last Song I Listened To: Let’s Get Married, specifically Mitski’s cover of the song

Last Film I Watched: Spiderman into the Spiderverse on the way home from Chicago!

Inspiration or Muse: Anything. I find all my best ideas in the world around me. a lot of my writing is based around things i’ve seen in the world around me. 

Dream Job: In honesty, a successful writer who tours the country talking about writing and inspiring others. A little more grounded in reality, I’d like to be a professor, and teach writing or possibly something to do with modern ideas of privilege and economic disparity. (because i honestly talk about that all the time with my family and they’re most of the time lost)

Meaning Behind Your URL: Okay, so when I finally bit the bullet and made a smosh blog, i didn’t know what i wanted to call it?? I was super set on wanting a specific reference url, but the only thing my brain kept yelling at me was ‘oh those damn smosh kids’ and i was like YEP THATS MY BLOG TITLE NOW

anyone who wants to do this, can and should!

[evenstevensranked]

#17: Season 3, Episode 18 - “Stevens’ Manor”

With the house to himself for the weekend, Louis decides to open up a bed and breakfast to afford a snowboarding trip for the gang! What could possibly go wrong?!

I’ve been meaning to tell you guys to ignore any typos in my reviews within the first day or so of them being posted. It takes a few read-throughs for me to catch any/all errors. 

That being said...

This episode opens with the subplot. Although, this is yet another one where the subplot and main plot work together super well. I’ve noticed that this is becoming a theme with these higher-ranked episodes. Huummm. 

It starts off with Ren spying on Ruby breaking up with some random guy Dexter. Her oh so serious, love of her life boyfriend of 4 days. Sounds about right. This show seriously nails how ridiculous middle school ~relationships~ truly are. Ruby is devastated, so Ren presents the idea of turning their upcoming weekend sleepover into girls night complete with nail polish, magazines and ice cream! Yeeee!

Ruby clearly shocked and offended by Dexter’s decision to end it. We don’t actually hear the conversation, so this exaggerated expression really gets the point across.

It cuts to Louis, Twitty, Tawny, and Tom (who I will refer to as “the gang” from this moment forward) discussing how badly they want to go snowboarding at some lodge. Tawny estimates that it’d cost around $200 per-person, and I mean, what 13-year-olds have that sort of money laying around? I’m a grown adult and I can’t even afford Starbucks on some days. So, yeah. To any sane person, the idea would be totally off the table and seem completely farfetched... But not to Louis Stevens!! He’s all “Oh, it’s no problem” as he runs to answer a call on the school’s payphone, which is the millionth thing that closet space next to the stairs has been used for. The call is from someone looking to book a reservation at Stevens’ Manor. I really hope that payphone has a different number than the school and that Louis didn’t give out Lawrence Jr. High’s number as the contact info for “Stevens’ Manor.” I can’t. 

He explains to the gang that Steve and Eileen are going away for their anniversary, Donnie has an away game, and Ren is sleeping at Ruby’s... which means he’s got la casa all to himself. Twitty asks how he’s gonna get his parents to actually let him stay home alone though... and like??? I know that Louis can get a little crazy, but does he really need a freaking babysitter or something? Actually, wait. What am I talking about?! He immediately seized the “home alone” opportunity to turn the house into a bed and breakfast. Here we go again with the give Louis Stevens an inch and he will take 100,000 miles trope, lol. His plan is to fake cry to Eileen about wanting to come with her and Steve and not wanting to stay alone, before deciding to be ~strong~ and stick it out. Steve even calls Louis a “soldier” for it, haha. Okay. Whatever works I guess! I’d like to point out this kinda ugly transition they do of Louis smirking about his plan, to the moment where he’s actually executing it. It’s so weird looking omg. 

That morph tho. I guess the editing job isn’t too bad for 2002... but dang, it’s just slightly unsettling to me lol. 

I like how this episode basically jumps right into the plot asap! We’re only two minutes in at this point and the BnB transformation is already underway! Eileen and Steve ultimately leave and trust Louis to man the fort of course, and the birth of Stevens’ Manor happens the second they’re out the door -- courtesy of a short montage. Louis must’ve been preparing for this bed and breakfast idea for a long while, just waiting around for the opportunity -- because he has shirts embroidered with a fancy “SM” ready to go for him and his friends to wear! He’s even set up the technology to accept credit cards. Louis Stevens does not play! 

The first guests arrive and I’m assuming it’s supposed to be a joke when Louis greets them “Welcome to Stevens’ Manor! You must be the Mannings!” lol. The Mannings are an older couple made up of a “fellow Lou” Louis and his wife Edna. This information is vital for later on. When they’re shown to their room, (which is Louis’ bedroom transformed into the “Lincoln Bedroom” lol) Edna says “This is even cozier than the pictures we saw on the internet!” WOW!!! Louis really did have this planned! He probably whipped out a www.stevensmanor.com domain for this. How did he rearrange and clean his room with enough time to take the photos, post them, and get hits on the website (in 2002, mind you) without his parents noticing though? That stuff took tiiiime back then. Not to mention cleaning that filthy room of his would require the help of a garbage company! Oh, well. That’s an irrelevant detail. I told you he’d been preparing for this moment! 

Where did he get that bust of Lincoln (see 2 photos up) and that painting too? I searched out of curiosity and found this near-exact bust which costs $850!!!!! That thing better be some cheap plastic knock off because something tells me Louis somehow spent more money on making the place look legit than he’ll ever make back from it lol. 

The next guest is a woman named Mrs. Colepepper. What is up with these writers and throwing the word “pepper” into last names? We already have Ryan Zellpepper and now we’ve got this lady lol. I also just realized that both of these characters are black... not that that means anything at all. It’s just randomly sort of interesting imo. 

The last main guests are a pair of twin teenage boys and their parents. Now, Even Stevens is good at not double casting people (a.k.a being weird and having the same actors play two or more different characters throughout the series and hope the audience doesn’t notice) -- But they messed up here and I gotta call it out!! They’re acting like this is the first time we’ve seen these twins, but they actually already made an appearance as LJH students back in Season 2! Their first appearance is literally sooo brief that only a weird superfan like me would notice, but yeah. 

The twins in this episode.

The twins in Season 2! We haven’t covered this episode yet so I feel really weird including a screenshot but.. lol. 

There’s this short scene where Louis introduces Tawny as the Manor’s “human jukebox” because apparently she’s a piano wiz and knows “all kinds of songs” (Also, where’d Louis get the grand piano?! haha) One of the twins sarcastically asks “Does she know ‘I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii’?” And Tawny adlibs a song “I hate it here, we should’ve gone to Hawaii, where they say Aloha and roast little piggies!” This one line always gets stuck in my head. Always. I’m tempted to continue writing additional lyrics just to give myself more to sing.

There’s also a fantastic bit here of Tom arguing with Mrs. Colepepper about the pulp in her orange juice. I can’t even explain it, all you have to know is that it’s amazing. Also, Louis tells the twins to check out the “Rec Room” and hands them two ping-pong paddles. They’re like “All you have is a ping-pong table?” and Louis says “Yeah... Well... I never said anything about a table. So.” IT ALWAYS GETS ME! It’s such a small line, but I love it. ALSO Beans is the BnB’s “licensed masseuse.” Right.  

At Ren and Ruby’s sleepover, Ruby gets a make up call from Dex and they talk on the phone all giggly for an hour and a half. Ren is fed up and decides to head home. Safe to say Ren was in for a surprise when Mrs. Colepepper was asleep in her bed... 

Louis tries to explain the situation to her and of course, Ren is vehemently against it until she sets her eyes on the ~gorgeous~ twins. As they’ve already stated -- The twins hate it there, so she catches them juuust as they’re about to check out. Ren literally referred to these guys by name in S2. They were some weird names like “Mosh and Stosh”?! lol, Smosh. But now she’s acting like it’s the first time she’s ever seen them in her life and it always bothered meeeeee. 

Something that kills me about this bit is when their father says “The boys just aren’t happy here. I kinda have to agree with them. Your kiddie pool hardly qualifies as an ‘aquatic center’ so...” -- LOUIS REALLY PUT “AQUATIC CENTER” as a selling point knowing that all he had was a kiddie pool.

Imagine showing up to a BnB where this is the advertised “aquatic center.” I am dying of laughter. First the nonexistent Rec Room, now this. I can just hear Gordon Ramsay ripping this place apart on an episode of Hotel Hell.

Ren immediately tries to persuade the twins to stay for obvious reasons by bribing them with lame board games, but they apparently reciprocate her attraction and decide to stay. The fictional board game they pick to play is The Organ Donor Game (sounds like a fun time???) and it’s so suggestive. Ren says “Ooo! You landed on my kidney. That’s gonna cost ya! No cheating and... Hands off my pancreas” in the most sultry voice ever. Like... WHAT?! The doorbell rings while they’re playing and it’s Ruby coming over to apologize, but she too decides to stay at the Stevens’ once she sees the twins. Wow. I love how a fan is always conveniently there to blow Ruby’s hair dramatically whenever she sees a guy she likes.  

It happened the moment she developed a crush on Louis, too. And, uh... Didn’t Ruby JUST GET BACK TOGETHER with Dexter like, an hour ago?  

Meanwhile, Beans is giving Louis Manning a massage by walking on his back in hiking boots??? Beans just further solidifying his place as “The Worst” in my heart. Old Louis (which is what I’ll call him now I guess) gets his back thrown out thanks to their wonderful, 8-year-old, obviously not licensed masseuse. This place is a lawsuit waiting to happen. 

Eileen decides to call home and check in with Louis, which creates one of my favorite situations everrrrrrr in the series. Y’all know I love when shows highlight the comedic side of miscommunication, and this is probably Even Stevens’ best stab at it. Edna is the one who answers Eileen’s call and all hell breaks loose when Eileen asks for Louis. “Louis hurt his back, he’s in a great deal of pain right now.” Edna explains. And Eileen says “You tell him I’ll be there in two hours and that I love him very much!!” Of course, Edna thinks Old Louis is cheating on her with some woman named Eileen and it’s great. 

Louis (Stevens lol) overhears the conversation and starts freaking out because how the hell are they gonna get all of the guests out of the house and revert it back to the way it was when it’s only midnight? That’s when Ren gets the brilliant idea (no seriously, it’s brilliant) to set all of the clocks forward to 7am checkout time! Oh my freaking god. Most of the guests have only been asleep for an hour or so, and suddenly they’re being told breakfast is ready. It’s absolutely hilarious! “Skies will be mostly... dark” Ren informs them of the days’ weather, omg. 

There’s no way they have enough time to serve everyone a full breakfast, so they shove all the food into a blender and give it to the guests as the “Deluxe Breakfast Combo To-Go!” Seriously, Gordon Ramsay would have a field day with this.

They pretty much scream at the guests to “move it!” and get outta the house at midnight while they’re all still in their pajama’s and disoriented. Even if it was 7am, this is some terrible service. At this point, I’d give Stevens’ Manor a generous zero stars on Yelp.  

Amazingly, they get everyone out with enough time to hustle and clean up the house before Steve and Eileen get back! *Whew!* Louis and Ren scramble to explain the whole Enda lady who answered the phone situation and claim that she’s the school nurse. Steve is so confused, “The school nurse made a house call in the middle of the night?!” Honestly, though. Suddenly Edna walks back in the front door “Excuse me, I forgot my umbrella.” Haha. That’s when she and Eileen have their final brush with miscommunication. Eileen is all “Thank you for taking care of Louis!” and Edna says “Well, let me tell you something, Eileen. I have dedicated my entire life to taking care of Louis, so let me give you a little warning... STAY AWAY FROM HIM!” 

Steve: “These school nurses are so protective...” 

Steve and Eileen decide to head upstairs and go to bed immediately, to Louis and Ren’s relief -- which actually made me realize something... Where do Steve and Eileen sleep?! From what we’ve seen of the upstairs it seems to only have a bathroom and Louis, Ren, and Donnie’s rooms! I’ve never seen space or a door for a third bedroom up there! Omg. Maybe they have a secret bedroom in a hidden attic or something? Hey! They had a giant secret cave underneath their house. It’s possible. 

The final minute bit of this episode is great. Steve and Eileen are watching some local news program and Mrs. Colepepper happens to be the host. She shares her experience at Stevens’ Manor and how she’ll never forget it in a strangely positive review segment. The best line is when she says “I don’t normally sleep through the night, but when my head hit the pillow -- the next thing I knew, it was morning!” HAHAHAHA. She makes a point to mention the “hip, young staff” and shows a picture of the gang (see cover photo.) And yeah. Steve blows a gasket. 

THE END!

This is a great episode. I mean, really. It’s super memorable, funny, and it’s an awesome episode for the cast as an ensemble. I cracked up countless times writing this review! It definitely gets a lot of “iconic” points for sure. I just personally prefer episodes that have more of a story to them and focus on the characters. As great as this episode is, it’s definitely one of those wacky plots that could only make sense in crazy Season 3. But I gotta give it to them... This is such a wild and elaborate plot, but they somehow make you believe that Louis could’ve actually pulled this off irl. I’m sure there were some impressionable kids out there who entertained the idea of doing something similar themselves, lol. I want y’all to know that #17 isn’t a “bad” spot by any means. I feel like I say this a lot, but at this point in the countdown, everything seriously is pretty much top notch. I’m simply arranging the best of the best in an order I hope is both personal and objective. It’s a difficult line to straddle, believe me.

To top off the review, I’ve added not one -- but two Stevens’ Manor designs to the Redbubble shop!! AYYYYYYYYY! I got carried away. I’m actually really excited about these, haha! Ya can now get the main “Stevens’ Manor” design and the employee logo design printed on whatevaaa you want. Doing these reproductions of things that exist within the shows’ universe is so fun. I’m really trying my best to get as close to the way they appear on screen as I possibly can (with my limited photoshop skillz)

They’re available in the shop now! Yay!

Thanks for reading!!

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[smoshymess]

Get to know me tag

Tagged by @thegaygermangamer

(I think I did this once b4 but some things have probably changed)

Name: Rin

Birthday: December 29th

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Height: 5'8" or 5'9" idk

Hobbies: Overanalyzing lores, watching YouTube, organizing random things, sewing/cosplay

Fav Colour: Green, red, or grey

Fav Books: Count of Monte Cristo & the Warrior Cats series (fite me)

Last song I listened to: Alice (Underground) by Avril Lavigne

Last film I watched: Idk honestly, it's been a bit since I actually watched anything for a long time other than YouTube. I probably rewatched Avenger recently I guess

Inspiration/Muse: Random thoughts, seeing good art (I have a tag on @mycharactersref called '#cool characters to reference'), tv show lores

Dream Job: Voice actor or costume designer

Meaning behind your URL: Inside joke from Smosh; I might change it soon tho lol

[squipitme-blog]

Google says its YouTube ad problem

A top Google executive says the company’s YouTube ad controversy — where big brands have discovered that some of their ads have run next to videos promoting hate and terror — is overblown.

But he says Google is making progress at fixing it, anyway.

“It has always been a small problem,” with “very very very small numbers” of ads running against videos that aren’t “brand- safe,” says Google’s chief business officer, Philipp Schindler. “And over the last few weeks, someone has decided to put a bit more of a spotlight on the problem.”

Google has been scrambling to react over the past few weeks, as newspapers like The Times of London, The Guardian and The Wall Street Journal pointed out ads running next to videos from hate groups and other extremists. Those reports prompted big brands like AT&T and Verizon to pull their ads from YouTube.

Now, Schindler says, improved software has been able to track down 5x more videos that it wants to keep clear from advertisers.

He says YouTube has also improved its response time when someone flags an inappropriate video, and is improving its user interface to make it easier for advertisers to steer clear of dodgy videos. Schindler says YouTube will also start letting outside companies like DoubleVerify and comScore audit its efforts to keep ads away from controversial clips.

But in an interview on Sunday, Schindler also described a tricky line for the company to walk: It wants to reassure advertisers who want to know it’s doing something about the problem. But it doesn’t want to say that it has a widespread problem, either — because it doesn’t think it has a widespread problem.

Here’s an edited transcript of my chat with Schindler. At a couple points in our conversation, Schindler and a Google rep discussed whether he could discuss something on the record. In those cases, a Google rep followed up with statements after the interview. I’ve noted those below.

Peter Kafka: You said you’ve increased your detection by 5x. How big was the problem to begin with?

Philipp Schindler: If you look at it from an advertiser perspective, the error rates we’re talking about — I’m careful in saying this, because I don’t want to take away from the importance of the problem, and that we need to get it right — but the numbers are tiny, tiny.

[Update from Google rep: “When we spoke with many of our top brand advertisers, it was clear that the videos they had flagged received less than 1/1000th of a percent of the advertisers’ total impressions. Of course, when we find that ads mistakenly ran against content that doesn’t comply with our policies, we immediately remove those ads.”]

But it’s enough of a problem that we’re talking about it now.

It should always be smaller. It’s our responsibility to make it smaller. Let’s not take away from that. But remember, we’ve had that problem, at scale, for a long time. The whole industry [has], even traditional. The problem comes from the fact that somebody is aggressively putting it onto the front page.

Do you think someone is actively campaigning against Google and YouTube?

That’s not how I would say it. There’s a lot of spotlight on the problem at the moment. And advertisers just don’t like something like this to be dragged out into the public. And they’re unhappy with that, and I can fully understand that they’re unhappy with that.

They’re unhappy with two things. Let’s be honest:

Number one, that the mistake even happens. That’s what we have to get better at. Again, as before, we cannot promise a perfect system. [But] whenever it happens, it’s bad, and it shouldn’t happen.

The second piece is, apart from the mistake happening, that there’s so much focus being put on it publicly. They obviously don’t appreciate that.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

What’s changed between now and a year ago? Is there more hate speech on YouTube, or are more people talking about it?

The first thing that changed is that more public attention has been put on what is, percentage-wise, a pretty small problem. Again, not to minimize it.

The second thing that has changed is that the problem has become a bit more multifaceted. It’s relatively easy to [block] clear “hate” — clear, specific words, that are very clearly triggering something. A lot of things historically have been very black or white. And things are becoming more gray-ish. A lot more shades of gray.

Take the N word. If you would just block [videos] when people refer to the black community with N word, you would take out a pretty significant percentage of all rap videos. You would probably take out a lot of pro-black activist groups. But obviously you want to take it out when somebody says “we hate all N words.”

The problem is now, the machines have to start understanding context in a much different way.

YouTube has always had issues with advertisers being uneasy about the content. A few years ago, you addressed this by creating Google Preferred, where advertisers could buy safe stuff, at a premium — which meant you were saying that everything else was riskier. Why not just sell the cleared stuff?

The focus on Google Preferred historically hasn’t been brand safety. It’s “what is the most engaging content that users are using.”

But it was also telling advertisers that they knew what they were getting — videos from people they’ve heard of, like AwesomenessTV or Smosh.

The reason why trying to do what you’re basically suggesting — whitelisting everything [would be difficult is] a couple reasons:

Think about the scale of the problem that we’re dealing with here. The last thing that you want, if you lean back a little bit here — if you asked, the whole digital world, independently of YouTube, to whitelist and review everything going forward, at the scale we’re running at. What you would do is fundamentally disconnect advertisers, brands, companies, from the ability to interact with their audiences. It’s not a world we want. That’s not a world you want.

Think about the problem, in a world where, more or less over time, every interaction will be some sort of digital interaction, and brands and companies want to participate in real-time conversations with their consumers …

But that is how traditional media works. The New York Times knows exactly what’s on a New York Times page. NBC knows what NBC is broadcasting. There’s no question about it, and that’s now a selling point for them: This is brand-safe stuff. We know what we’re doing. This seems like it’s a vulnerability for you.

[A Google rep notes that now advertisers are now, by default, set up to run on only on safe content.]

Have any advertisers who announced they were halting their YouTube ads come back?

[Update from Google rep: “Many advertisers never pulled out and many have decided to come back based on the actions we’ve taken over the past week. Our customers’ confidentiality is paramount to us, and it would’t be appropriate for us to comment on their behalf.”]

Last month, you also said Google would review the standards for the content it allowed on YouTube, and might change its guidelines. What’s the latest on that?

We’re carefully evaluating this. That’s where we are. I can’t say any more about it at the moment.  Source : recode

https://squipitme.com/2017/04/03/google-says-youtube-ad-problem/