#kylo ren crack fic
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oh-for-fic-sake-library · 2 years ago
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Uno reverse this shit
Masterlist
Summary: kylo refuses to fight crazy.
Warnings : swearing, shitpost, crack fic, threats of violence, small dog syndrom jedi style, no fucks were given
A/N: this isnt serious! I just wanted to play around with a funny crack fic drabble.
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"Stupid little jedi you seek to fight me? I'll show you the power of the darkside;" kylo growled out as his old masters youngest prodigy stepped forward readying to fight without a weapon.
"You know what? Do it. Make my day" kylo frowned behinde his mask at that faltering for a second at the sincere angered words spat at him.
"W-what?" He asked confused by the lack of fear or anxiety. This girl was either incredibly stupid or just had a deathwish. He looked to luke, then rey who both seemed to grow more uncomfortable with the situation.
"I said do it hit me up motherfucker you and me, right now lets go!" The tiny woman spoke up still heading towards him.
"Y/n for the love of god stop antagonising him! He's the fucking supreme leader now?! What the fuck?!" Luke called out to the small enraged woman that was still stalking towards kylo unarmed.
"Id listen to your master little jedi, i will use the dark side of the force on you, torture you couldnt ever dream of;" he tried again to intimidate the small female but it didnt work she infact she began rolling up her sleeves.
"I hope the fuck you do. Because then when i use the force to rip your lungs out your asshole i wont look like the bitch" she snarled pointing at him threateningly. Okay, that was unexpected? Kylo really didnt know what to do now? She wasnt palying the part of jedi, infact she seemed worse then him? It frightened him a little bit.
"Yeah thats right I aint playing silly buggers. If you gonna be all dark side voodoo scary boy with a red glow stick ima be a the psycho bitch that fucks you up bare hands. Im gona uno reverse this shit" she uttered into the stunned silence. Though luke and rey seemed more embarrassed and disappointed then shocked by the threat.
"Did.... did she just threaten to rip my lungs out of my ass?" Kylo asked the other two hesitantly whislt pointing to the she devil glareing up at him with an unsettling look of convictionon her face. She was 100% serious. He really wasnt registering this situation at all and was completely shook.
"Yeah she can do it too.... We're still working on the whole... rage thing" rey uttered quietly rubbing the back of her neck whilst shrugging. Luke nodded in agreement.
"And i was the fucking problem?! Me?!" He screamed across the open space in an accusatory tone. Completely dumbfounded by the hypocrisy of it all. Luke did have the decency to look away sheepishly. Kylo then held his hands up muttering 'fuck this' and turning abandoning the battlefeild. He refused to fight crazy.
"Did i win? Wow that was easy" The small woman pondered outloud but kylo just wasnt getting involved. You were,luke and reys problem, not his.
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hux-and-gay · 5 months ago
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Kylux Short Shorts Fest 2024; Day 1: Vacation
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Kylux Summer Vacation (Crack Fic)
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this translates way better as a comic but comics take time. So i wrote more a script then a fic. maybe I’ll make a comic later or maybe some kind soul wants to waste their time doing it for me. I don’t really care anyway, not to toot my own horn, but this is really funny. I was thinking of the Lego Star Wars specials when I wrote this so picture that vibe. Hehehehehe
pls pls reblog! I dont have AO3 yet
Warning: Suggestive content, brief nudity (it’s played off as a joke)
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Kylo: (announcing triumphantly, fist in the air) We’re going on vacation! 
Hux: (sounds unfazed) What? 
Kylo: (repeats previous gesture) We’re are going on vacation!
Hux: (no even looking up from his datapad) We’re in the middle of a war. We can’t just leave on vacation. 
Kylo: My grandfather went on vacation…
(Teary eyed dreamily looking off into the distance picturing the scene from the Lego Star Wars summer vacation special where Vader is being forced to apply palpitate’s sun screen) 
Hux: Oh so that’s what this is about. (Shakes his head) Predictable. Well we can’t. 
Kylo: (Angrily/Whiny) Why! 
Hux: I dont have time for this (Starts walking off)
Mitaka: (comes in, stopping him by the door) Sir… Did you authorize 30,000 credits worth of first order funds to be spent on (squints at his datapad) “Beach fun surprise?”
Hux: (looking up angrily) No! What even is that?!
Mitaka: (nods awkwardly) right I’ll cancel i-
Kylo: No! (Stepping forward) I authorized the purchase! (Turning to Hux dramatically) There’s no turning back now general! (Pointing to each person as he speaks) I’m taking you, and Phasma, and Mitaka, and… (points at a random dude walking by) THAT GUY, and we’re going on vacation!
That guy: Uhm sir I don’t even work here… I’m just visiting my wife…
Kylo: LETS GO! (Marching forward) 
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~Later at the beach~
Kylo: (walking up to Hux wearing his helmet  and swim trunks that are definitely too small for him) Why are you wearing a shirt? 
Hux: (eating a suspiciously shaped popsicle) Why aren’t you? 
Kylo: (leans back) isn’t that like, constricting? 
Hux: You’re just trying to get me to take my shirt off. 
Kylo: What? No! (Clearly lying) 
Phasma: (walking by) I’d take this off if I was allowed too (gesturing towards her sports bra style top) 
(#free the nip)
(They both just blink at her stunned before she walks away and then they turn back to their arguing) 
Kylo: I still think you should take it off (huffs)
Hux: Then take off your helmet! (Pokes it)
Kylo: (crosses his arms) I dont want sunburn! 
Hux: The rest of you is practically naked! 
Mitaka: (rushing up carrying way more than one man should carry) Sir? 
Kylo: (not noticing Mitaka) I could arrange that! but I don’t think this is that kind of beach!
Mitaka: (trying to get Hux’s attention) Where did you want this sir? (Holding up all the stuff some of it falls out of his hands) 
(Still not noticing Mitaka the two of them glare at each other and Hux menacingly bites off the tip of the popsicle which has now melted all over his hand) 
~Seconds later~
Kylo: (pointing) oh look beach hockey!
Hux: (deadpan) No
Kylo: (Pointing) look there’s limbo!
Mitaka: (Still trying to get their attention) Sir this is kind of heavy…
Hux: (deadpan) No 
Kylo: Live music? (Gestures to the stage, where, idk, the Cerveza Cristal meme is playing or something)
Hux: Too loud 
Kylo: There’s a bar? 
Hux: I suppose that’s fine 
Mitaka: Sir?! 
(They start walking to the bar where Phasma already is) 
Mitaka: Why do I even bother (Sighs) 
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(Meanwhile at the bar. Kylo has his helmet off now. the group was drinking (Cerveza Cristal!… No! Stop! You already made that joke!) when they see familiar faces walk onto the beach)
Kylo: Well look who it is (smirks) 
Phasma: The resistance scum (scoffs) 
Hux: How convient, you’d think this was a Crack fic (looking directly at you) 
Poe: (sauntering up) Hey Hugs 
Hux: (immediately standing to go) That’s it we’re leaving! Vacation over! 
Poe: (leaning on the counter) That’s a shame, we were just going to invite you all to a not so friendly game of beach volleyball. Right Finn? (nudges him) 
Finn: uhhhh… right. 
Poe: (whispers) Sound more confident 
Finn: (Yells) Right! we’re gonna beat your asses into the sand bitches! (Whispering to Poe) Was that too much? 
Kylo: Good luck trying. (Smirks standing up) It just so happens that… I don’t like sand~ (Turning to the others) Are the rest of you with me? 
Mitaka: (panting running up) I Just put everything down sir! 
Hux: (not noticing Mitaka again, setting his drink down) Well I suppose… if it’s a challenge (smirks)
Phasma: (cracking her knuckles) Oh I think it’s time they met the true power of the first order~
Poe: Good come meet us on the beach! (He gestures and runs off, Finn following, flipping them off as he goes. The others get up from the bar laughing and heading towards the beach) 
Mitaka: (exasperated) Did I miss Something?  —————————————————————————
(Look i could write out the volley ball match but I’m lazy so if someone wants to pick this up have at it) 
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~Later that day~
Kylo: (running down the beach to join Hux in the water) Wait for me! 
(Hux’s shirt isn’t off but it’s open) 
Hux: (standing in the water, raising an eyebrow) Do you even know how to swim 
Kylo: Pfft, yeah totally!
Hux: That sounded oddly suspicious but if you say so (shrugs) 
Kylo: (walking very slowly into the water) Yeah I definitely learned how to swim, that’s definitely something I did, I mean like, it’s easy, I’m not a pussy!
Mitaka: (standing beside Hux) Is it just me or does it sound like he’s trying to reassure himself instead of you? 
Hux: (nonchalant) oh yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like. 
Mitaka: If he can’t swim shouldn’t we stop him? 
Hux: Let him try, it will amuse me (smirks) 
(Kylo goes deeper in the water, even deeper than the two of them, probably to prove a point) 
Kylo: I’m… I’m doing it! (A wave crashes into him) Fuck! I’m not doing it!  (He starts flailing and splashing wildly even though where he is definitely isn’t that deep)
Mitaka: (looks concerned) Sir I believe he’s going under. 
Hux: He’ll be fine. 
Mitaka: I Really dont think he will be…
(long awkward scilence)
Hux: He’s drowning isn’t he? 
Mitaka: It appears that way. 
Hux: Ugh fine! 
(He goes after him and Drags him out which is definitely a struggle) 
Hux: (dragging him by his foot onto the beach) Why are You So fucking heavy?! (Looking up to Phasma who’s tanning on the Shore) Thank you so much for your help Phasma!
(Phasma Holds up a drink nodding to them) 
Hux: (sets him down on the wet sand) Well he’s breathing (slaps him on the face) 
Kylo: (coming to, spitting out ocean water) Hey! That wasn’t mouth to mouth… (looks down disappointed) 
Hux: (sarcastically) Oh no! he stopped breathing guess I can’t save him! 
Kylo: (glancing at himself) Oh! my shorts fell off in the water, and your kind of straddling me so- 😏
Hux: (glances down instinctively and quickly looks back up) Mitaka? 
Mitaka: Yes sir? 
Hux: Google if It it’s legal to feed someone to the sharks.
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~The end~
That Guy: Has anyone seen my wife yet?
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@lessdenied @fives-ren @jaynesilver @thegeneralorder @diabollicallyangelic
@existing-sadly
@theosb0rnway
@dragonflies-draw-flame @hpdmism @fridayincarnate @tomatette
@transmasc-vampire-is-tired
@bostarsky
@kyluxshortshorts
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thesirenbanshee · 12 days ago
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Here’s an early Christmas present—“Chapter 18”! 🎁
TITLE: A Force of a Different Color
RATING: Explicit
SUMMARY: 
“What is your favorite animal and your favorite color? Is it a lion, and purple? Or perhaps a porg, and blue? And, more importantly, what is your soulmate’s favorite animal and color? You’ll find out the answer when your soulmate is born . . . because you’ll suddenly shapeshift into whichever animal and color your soulmate loves best. Which can get really annoying really quickly, as ten-year-old Ben Solo learns one day when poof, he turns into a pink bunny.
Or, the crack-canonverse-shapeshifter-soulmate AU that makes, like, zero sense.”
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casp1an-sea · 2 months ago
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I wrote a crack fic in French. I dont know why, I got possessed or something. It was honestly fun though.
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peterparkersnose · 2 years ago
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Two Ghosts
pairing: kylo ren x queen!reader 
word count: 2.6k
warnings: neglect, arranged marriage, dislike of s/o, reader has children, descriptions of periods, domestic abuse, old values (women are dainty bullshit), guys kylo isn’t nice remember that, fertility issues, stopping of a period due to stress, reader lives for her children basically, reader obviously has anxiety, reader is basically breaded for heirs, kylo is awkward (the dude doesn’t have social skills. at all. whatsoever), even though he still has some rizz (call him kylo rizz if you would), a good ending? idk guys remember kylo just isn’t a great person and the first order isn’t a good organization too
a/n a long warning list 😬. anyways i never get notes on kylo fics but i simply do not care. i love writing new content for this man. he deserves it all.
summary Kylo tries being the husband Y/N always wanted him to be
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read time: 9 mins 40 seconds
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Watching you felt almost wrong. The neglect he’s given you through the years- the pain you’ve felt and him not caring about you for as long as he’s known you.
He didn’t deserve to watch this beautiful sight of his family, the family he didn’t even want. The family he wasn’t even apart of. You two were an arranged marriage, married for political reasons. He needed an heir, your father needed peace on your home planet. You and your children had always been a nuisance to him. 
You had given up on the romantic attempts years ago. But something in this sight, something about you right then made him sick. Something made him click taking in this view from the balcony on the hill.
For weeks he had longing feelings of sadness. He hated admitting it and rejected it as much as he could, but light was seeping into the cracks. His moods began to lighten softly, not enough for you to notice but enough to scare him. Now looking down and feeling this, it was just a confirmation of what was really happening to him.
The sun shown down on your beautiful yellow dress that was layed out on the grass. Your hair was up in intricate braids due to the heat on Naboo, the tiny loose strands were swaying in the wind. The field you sat in was just off a short cliff, the beautiful rural city and coast were just feet away. The perfect escape between the busy city and the old city. The mansion sat atop the hill, separating the two separate terrains. You were on a vacation and had begged him to come for the sake of his children.
Your oldest son ran around you in circles, playing with a TIE one of his father’s assistants bought him for Christmas. Kylo couldn’t be bothered to celebrate, let alone give gifts. Henry was just shy of his sixth birthday. His blonde hair was messy and in need of a cut sometime soon. His gray tunic and black pants matched his father’s aesthetic a little too much for your liking. Running around, he made engine sounds as the ship would like a typical 5 year old.
Your youngest daughter sat in front if you, playing with some wildflowers she had plucked into an array of ‘jewlery’. She was three. Unlike her brother, she had beautiful strong brown hair. Unbeknownst to you, it completely mirrored her grandmothers. You had her hair in your hands, coming through it with your fingers trying to decide what design to attempt today. Amala squirmed as she attempted to join her brother, but you kept her in place in your lap. She was to learn to be a lady as you were. Her dark pink dress was spread out in front of her.
Kylo watched you as the pit in his stomach felt odd. It had always been empty, but this time something ached inside of it. He had never had any interest in you. The times you ever had sex were intended and resulted in children, exactly what he needed. He cared more about Henry than Amala. Henry was the oldest and the heir to the First Order. But work called. He was never a family man, he was never meant to be a family man.
These feelings continued to conflict him throughout the night.
As the sun set you came in with the children. The nannies took them upstairs and readied them for bed. You took your place at the long dinner table. On the opposite side sat your husband- legally.
Over the years you obviously lusted for other men. You didn’t even dare act on your thoughts, or barely thought the thoughts at all. You knew Kylo would have their heads within seconds. With an absent husband emotionally and physically it was hard. In the first few years of your marriage, you struggled with fertility problems. Life was so lonely without the children. He grew angrier and angrier with you each time you got your cycle and your anxiety got so bad that it soon stopped. Your doctor moved you to separate chambers and eventually Henry was conceived after years of trying.
You felt like a failure before your son was born.
After copious amounts of treatment during your pregnancy, Henry was born. And then a while after that Supreme Leader Snoke granted you permission to have another. An heir and a spare.
You and Kylo sat silently eating your dinner. Over the years, you had perfected your etiquette. No slurping your wine, no scratching of the fork on the plate. At dinner you would mostly go over your thoughts from the day. The tuition papers you had to sign for Henry’s first school next year. Amala refusing to listen to her nanny and requesting her mommy really warmed your heart. The beautiful memory of that day you had spent with the children. The fact that you were doing it alone and was so good at it.
He listened to your thoughts. You knew he did. No datapad, no work bot giving him constant coded updates you didn’t understand. Tonight it was just the two of you. Two strangers eating dinner together. The show, the facade had to go on. Media wise you two were the loveliest couple in the galaxy. In reality, you spoke maybe once a week.
“R-80!” you called from the dining room. Kylo’s head shot up from his plate of food to see you waiting on the cleaner droid. You had finished the meal and was waiting to leave this awkward encounter.
The droid came around and you began to exit the room. His hand deliberately reached out for yours as you walked past him to get to the door.
A tiny gasp escaped your lips. You stopped and pulled your hand back, a concerned look was on display.
You were begging in your mind for this to had been an accident.
“It was no accident,” he said strongly. His deep voice boomed through your ears. You forgot how powerful it could be sometimes.
For the first time in years Kylo was feeling anxiety. Over something so minuscule, speaking to his wife. His eyes met and darted over your face. He recognized the braid pattern in your hair. You had worn it on your wedding day. Rarely he had seen it on you, depending if he even noticed you on the daily. His eyes were drawn to your dark lipstick on the lips that were slightly pursed.
“Your hair-” he said. Your eyes flicked up to the window, looking for any sign of a reflection.
Did he hate it, was he about to tell you to never wear it again? Was a strand so obviously out of place? Hell, why was he even speaking to you in the first place?
“It’s how it was on our wedding day, if I remember correctly.”
You nodded your head. Heat rose to your cheeks. This is the longest conversation you two have had in months.
He stared into your eyes. He forgot just how beautiful you really were. They were still the same as always, but this time with a few unnoticeable lines around them. You refused to meet his gaze, staring forward at the distorted mirroring of the room in the window.
Ten years in with two kids, you had managed to keep up with yourself and your appearances. For what, you really weren’t sure anymore.
“May I be excused? I would like to go check on the children.” you asked, avoiding his eye contact.
“Yes, one moment.” he said, his hand reaching out for yours. You hesitantly took it.
Kylo took a deep breath. Even though he seemed calm and composed, inside of his head the red alarm was going off. The urge to even ask you this went against everything he believed in. The twist in his stomach snapped. He gave in to the light feelings, begging for more after how good he felt after asking you a simple question.
“May I sleep with you in your chambers tonight?”
Your brows furrowed. “D-did you talk to the Supreme Leader? Did he give you permission for another?” you asked him, worried. You loved your children but you had no say in having them. The Supreme Leader could make you give birth to an army if he willed.
“No, no. This isn’t about sex.” he assured you. Of course you assumed it was about sex. It was the only time he ever really spoke to you. A slight relief flew off your shoulders.
You sighed, taking your hand from his. “I’m going to check on the children.”
Your heels clicked down the empty hallway. Something in you secretly hoped that he would follow you to see the children, but you knew your husband.
You were baffled in his sudden change of heart. He hadn’t shared a bed with you since- well, since Amala was conceived. You didn’t deny his request, but neither confirmed it.
Your thoughts kept you company as you walked down the many corridors and hallways of the mansion.
The large door was cracked, left like that by the nannies. They knew your routine better than anyone else. Amala was sleeping closest to the door. The canopy above her bed was swaying from the wind of the open window. Henry was laying on his stomach in a deep sleep, his limbs all sprawled out over the large bed.
A smile rose to your face as you quietly closed the door. Your heart was full once again. No more doubt plagued the poor, confused thing from dinner.
You made your way to your chambers. You passed what you knew was Kylo’s. Shockingly, the door was open. You caught a glimpse of him working at his desk. He looked too large for the thing, trumping the tiny chair in size. The patio was open and the moonlight rushed in, lighting his room ominously.
He caught a glimpse of your flowing yellow dress passing his room. He wanted to finish up a few papers before bed, but in his heart he knew he had to neglect his work for one night.
He mustered up enough courage to knock on your door. A sweet “Coming!” came from inside. Within seconds, your door was open and he was met with your fresh face. You had changed into your night robes and had your natural hair down on your shoulders. The bathroom light was on and he noticed the fresh mint scent coming from your breathe.
Your night maids hadn’t been around yet, he presumed.
Something in your look, your energy died a bit when you saw him.
How had he never noticed? How could all these feelings, these guilt trips be plaguing him now, suddenly? What changed?
“We’re you hoping for a maid?” he asked, following you into the large room. He locked the door behind him.
You sat down back at your vanity, pulling your brush out of the drawer.
“No.” you replied. He knew you were lying.
The bed creaked as Kylo sat down. His dark grey dress pants were perfectly ironed and didn’t crease at the contact. He itched at his black turtleneck, swiping the cuff with his finger. He could hear his watch ticking from his wrist. The room was cold.
“May I ask why you wanted to be here?” you asked, a certain confidence in your voice had occurred. Turning now to face him, you finished brushing your hair and placed your hairbrush back in the drawer.
“Honestly darling, I’m really not sure.”
Darling?
If you weren’t so poised your jaw would have been on the floor.
“Today I saw a sight. You with the kids in the field.”
“Oh Kylo, there children. There’s nothing wrong with them playing in a field if this is what this is about-”
“No. I-”
Kylo Ren had never felt himself speechless before, yet again choking up at the sight of his family he used to despise.
Your tucked your chair back into your vanity. Now standing infront of the cowardly man, you waited for his response.
His hand cradled his forehead as he stared at the floor, watching your perfectly manicured feet come into frame.
That’s when he let his first sob out in years. You quickly embraced him in your arms, his forehead finding a resting place against your stomach. Your hands sprawled over his back in a cautious way. Peeking over ever so slightly, you checked if he had his lightsaber on his belt. Thank the gods he didn’t, you were afraid he would cut you into two.
Nobody had ever seen Kylo Ren cry.
“I don’t understand what you are getting at.” you whispered to him. Another sob came out, you began to rub his back.
“I-I am such a fool.” he managed to speak. His eyes looked up into yours, finally making contact for the first time in forever.
The look on your face was baffled.
“What have I been doing? I have a family- a wife? So much neglect, so much hate. How are you still here, my dear? How have I not driven you away, or driven you to worse? I-I have two children. Two beautiful children I don’t know and such a beautiful wife that I’m strangers with. So many years wasted. How did it take me ten years to see this? How did one small instance make my life come crumbling down around me?” he asked, bawling out his words.
You were speechless.
“I want to learn- please. How do I have such an amazing person with me and I don’t know the slightest thing about her? Tell me, w-what’s your middle name?” he went on, now holding you by the hips and eagerly speaking.
And that’s when it really hit you. You two were strangers.
“Amala,” you muttered out. “Oh! T-that makes so much sense—in our daughter. Her name,”
“What are there names, please tell me.” he seemed to beg.
“Henry Cornelius Benjaq Ren, Amala Charress Bryneri Ren.” you answered, a smile emerging on your lips.
Was this too good to be true?
Kylo was stunned of Henry’s middle name. Benjaq. There was no way you knew of his real name. The coincidence hurt him even more.
“Cornelius and Charress…” he pondered. “They sound so familiar are they…”
“My parents.” you answered him. “King Cornelius! How could I forget? Oh Y/N. I have neglected you for so long. How could you ever forgive me?”
His voice sounded genuine. “It’s definitely going to take time.” you sighed. Suddenly the years of loneliness and suffering flashed back in your mind. You broke away from his embrace and walked to the open balcony, giving him an invitation to follow.
“I will try. Please Y/N, let me.” he begged, following you outside.
The warm air brushed against your cool skin. You sighed, wishing you would wake up from this nightmare and your husband would be back. Did someone poison his food?
The yearning for anyone’s touch seeped into your mind. Watching all the other royal couples around the galaxy, they all seemed to love eachother. Hands touching almost constantly, sneaking a kiss or two at events. It was rare that you even got a photo with Kylo at the parties you would attend.
“I know,” he sighed, taking your hands into his. “I wish I could make it all go away.” he said with remorse.
The waves crashed against the sand. The wind was beginning to pick up. Your hair began to sway in the slight breeze. “Make it then,” you whispered, grazing a hand against his cheek. You dared giving him any sign of affection. You were half expecting him to pull his lightsaber out and cut you in half, just as you thought before. Something felt so wrong, but so right.
You kissed your husband for the first time since your wedding day. His lips were slightly chapped and you could taste the negroni he was drinking at dinner. The moon show down on the both of you, and the feeling he felt seemed to pass on to you. Force sensitive or not, the force was in your favor tonight. You felt the remorse and the pain he had been harboring for years. All the sleepless nights over work and heartache over his past life. You seemed to dilute all of that inside of him. You were the missing piece he was looking for all along. The thing he wanted the least was now his prized possession; his wife, the mother of his children, his Queen, his Empress.
All of that love came back. The feeling of when he was a little boy and still had light into him entered his heart once again. Ben Solo seeped through the cracks of his dark, broken heart.
tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy @milly-louise​ 
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crucifiedfaerie · 1 year ago
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Nicotine Stains Pt. 1 ༉₊˚✧
Modern!Kylo x Fem!Reader AU
➴ Summary: Your older brother's best friend seems to have everyone fooled. Everyone but you, that is.
➴ Part Two
➴ Word Count: 5k
➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, slowburn, modern!delinquent!kylo au, virgin!reader, drug use, smoking, swearing, kylo breaking traffic laws for some pussy, kylo is a pretentious prick, why is kylo lowkey midwestern emo in this, mutual pining, finn my beloved is mentioned, some angst, fluff, SMUT (protected PiV sex, again reader is a virgin, fingering, a little scratching, slow n gentle sex, softdom!kylo, consent king !!, praise kink, pet names), typos probably
➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams )
A/N: this may or may not be the most pretentious thing ive ever written but idc. also i want to give a special thank you and shout out to my beautiful mutual liv @enviedear for this idea! she totally helped me flesh out the modern!delinquent!kylo character and this fic would not exist without her. <;3 (also reader is NOT me bc if kylo ren played slipknot for me in his 1969 charger i'd fold immediately)
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You sat at your desk, studying for your upcoming midterms and nervously chewing on the inside of your mouth. Mathematics had never been your strong suit and despite only being a month and a half into the semester, your calculus class was stressing you out to no end. The rhythmic ticking of your clock was not helping in the slightest, so you reached for your headphones.
This class is taking years off of my life for sure.
As you looked for a good playlist, you heard your bedroom window open behind you. You yelped, turning in your chair to face your window. Your panic died when you realized it was only Kylo, your older brother's friend.
Once he was finally inside, he shut your window before standing up straight. Kylo was probably the tallest person you knew, almost touching the low ceiling of your bedroom. You couldn't deny how your stomach did flips when you were stood next to him, not to mention he was absolutely fucking beautiful. Kylo's features looked like they were carved from marble and his long, dark hair always fell perfectly around his face. If he weren't so goddamn annoying, you'd like him a lot more.
You groaned. "When are you gonna stop coming in through my window you asshole?"
"It isn't my fault your window is the most accessible and the lock is broken." He smirked.
Your eyes narrowed as you glared at him. "The least you could do is knock, what if I like... had a guy over or something?"
Kylo laughed, walking over to you. He turned you in your desk chair to face your computer and pushed it in, before leaning down over your shoulder to look at your screen. "I think we both know that doesn't happen, kid." He jabbed before making his way to your door.
Your face felt hot, his audacity never failed to make you seethe. And his choice of nickname for you only made you madder. You turned to glare at him. "You fucker- I- you're only like 3 years older than me!??"
You heard him laugh as he walked out of your room and down the hallway.
What made it worse was that it seemed he had everyone in your family fooled. Kylo acted like an absolute angel in front of your mother, and it pissed you off to no end. When he would come over for dinner, he always insisted on helping her with the dishes. He would make conversation with her, crack jokes, go the whole nine yards as if he weren't a college dropout and also doing drugs with her son on the side.
Your mom, being the stereotypical Christian, midwestern mother that she is, would always say things along the lines of "Oh Kylo, you're such a sweet boy. It amazes me that someone like you listens to such angry music." He would just blush and laugh it off.
Kylo drove a black 1969 Dodge Charger R/T that he would pull up to your house in, blasting the loudest possible music. Your dad loved him, and they would always talk cars when they got the chance. The first time you came home and saw your dad helping Kylo change his oil, you thought you had died and gone to hell. You just stared as Kylo smirked at you. That stupid, evil smirk you were so used to seeing.
They can't possibly be serious?? How do they not see how much of a jerk he is?
You however, he was much different with. Any chance Kylo got to annoy you, he would do it. He frequently stood outside your door for god knows how long, just waiting for you to come out so he could scare you. You would jump and yell expletives at him before weakly punching him in the shoulder. He and your brother would just laugh, thinking it was funniest thing in the world.
You sighed, staring at your computer screen. You were over studying for the night. You shut your door, before turning off the light and getting into bed. You tried to sleep, but couldn't. The stress of college was slowly suffocating you but despite that, you couldn't seem to get Kylo out of your head.
Sure, you have had a slight crush on him since you were in middle school, I mean who wouldn't? Look at him. But it didn't mean anything, the feeling was almost certainly not mutual and he was still the biggest asshole you'd ever met.
God I fucking hate him... I mean I don't, but I do.
Your thoughts were interrupted by a light tapping at your door. Your brow furrowed. "Yeah?"
Kylo opened your door slowly, making sure it didn't creak as he closed it behind him. "What are you still doing awake, its 3am. Don't you have classes tomorrow?" He whispered, fumbling with your window.
You rolled your eyes, still staring at the ceiling. "Yeah. What do you care?"
He smirked slightly, swinging one leg out the window before looking at you. "Finn asked me to pick you up tomorrow. What time are you off?"
Fucking fantastic.
"Oh, great." You said sarcastically. "2:30pm. The math and science building."
He ducked through the open window, and stuck his head back inside your room to look at you. "See you at 2:30 then." He smirked, before exiting again and shutting your window, leaving you in the dark.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow.
The following afternoon, you sat in your calculus class zoning out and unable to keep your mind off Kylo. You would never admit it, not even to yourself, but you were definitely daydreaming. You were thinking about how soft his hair always looks and how it might feel to run your fingers through it.
You didn't realize your professor had called on you until he said your name for a second time, repeating his question. You sat up straight before looking down, your eyes scanning your paper. "Oh um- the answer is... x equals three fourths." Your face felt warm.
"That's correct. Lets try to be more focused, though." Your professor sighed, before continuing his lecture. You nodded quickly, looking down at your paper.
As you walked to the parking lot, your palms felt sweaty. You'd been in Kylo's car only a couple times before and it was a long time ago. The recent nagging thoughts you had been having about him didn't quell your nervousness either. You spotted his car quickly, and made your way to the passenger side.
When you opened the door, his music blared so loud, you thought his speakers might blow out. You sat your bag on the floor of his car before getting in and shutting the door.
Kylo was smirking when you turned to glare at him. You reached over and turned the dial down halfway and he laughed.
"Too loud for you princess?" He said sarcastically, leaning over to look behind him as he backed out of the parking lot.
You rolled your eyes and buckled your seatbelt, smoothing out your skirt with your hands. "Too loud for most people. Can I play something?"
Kylo scoffed, that stupid smirk still on his face. "Fuck no, you can't play your music in my car."
"Whatever." You crossed your arms, staring straight ahead.
After a few minutes of silence, Kylo finally spoke. "Have you heard of Slipknot?" He asked, nodding his head towards the radio and tapping his long fingers on the steering wheel to the music.
You scoffed, turning your head to face him. "Yes I've heard of Slipknot, you loser... It's just not really my thing. Kind of scary sounding... its just screaming mostly."
He laughed loudly at your last comment. "Scary? Aw, now that's cute. I bet you listen to Lana Del Rey or some shit like that." Kylo said sarcastically, putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He took a drag from it before offering it to you.
You rolled your eyes at him before taking it. Your fingers brushed against his, sending a shiver down your spine. You took a drag off of it before speaking. "Lana Del Rey makes really good music." Despite facing the window, you felt his eyes on you the whole time.
"Oh so I was right?" He grinned, staring at the road now. "I just said the first girly thing that came to mind... And when did you start smoking? I'm gonna tell your mom." He laughed.
You attempted to hide the smile that played at the corners of your mouth. "I'll be sure to tell her you supplied me with them... and yeah I like Lana. She sings about real shit." You took another drag from the cigarette, blowing the smoke out of the window.
Kylo scoffed at you again, motioning to the radio. "And you don't think bands like this do?... This song is called Metabolic, its about the lead singer's absent father and how he fears he will become just like him. They sing about real shit too, it isn't just screaming."
You shrugged, taking another hit before handing the cigarette back to him as he pulled into your driveway. "I never said they didn't, I'm just not super into this type of music."
He glared at you as you grabbed your bag, cigarette dangling from his mouth. You got out of his car, and shut the door behind you. "Thanks for the ride, Kylo" You said through gritted teeth.
I can't believe I'm telling this man thank you.
"No problem." He looked like he wanted to say something else but he stopped himself.
You nodded, before heading to your door. You noticed that he had watched you and waited for you to get inside your house before pulling away.
"How nice of Kylo for driving you home. What a sweet boy." Your mom smiled as you came through the door. "I wish he wouldn't smoke though, you smell like cigarettes."
"Yeah, he's cool." You sigh as you walk up the stairs, making your way to your room before shutting your bedroom door behind you.
You sit at your desk and open your laptop to get started on some homework. Before you start, you grab your headphones and open your phone, deciding to give Kylo's music taste another try. As you do your calculus homework, you find yourself tapping your foot to the music.
The following day, you waited outside for Finn to pick you up from class. You had waited 30 minutes before deciding to call him and he didn't pick up a single one of your several calls.
That fucker. He just left me here.
You huffed before opening your phone again in defeat, pressing on Kylo's contact.
"Yeah?" He sounded like had been sleeping. Your face felt hot from just the sound of his voice.
"I um- Finn left me here and I uh... don't have anyone to pick me up... Can you please come get me?" It felt so foreign asking Kylo for literally anything.
"Yeah I'll be there in fifteen minutes." He said. You noticed that he sounded much more alert, and you heard him shuffling in the background.
"Okay thanks... Uh- bye." You hung up, sitting down on the curb.
It wasn't even seven minutes before Kylo turned into the parking lot and pulled up next to you.
You opened the door, throwing your bag on the floor and getting in. "Jesus Christ, man?? How many traffic laws did you break getting here?" You smirked as you buckled your seatbelt.
Kylo laughed. "If you drove, and owned a car like this, you'd speed too." You couldn't help but notice the light pink that spread across his cheeks at your comment.
He handed you your own cigarette this time, and you placed it in your mouth. You went to reach for the lighter but he beat you to it.
"Allow me." Kylo said before raising the flame up to the end of your cigarette. You inhale, watching it ignite. You caught his gaze for a moment and felt the butterflies return, quickly averting your eyes and taking the cigarette between your fingers to turn and exhale out of his window. Kylo cleared his throat and looked ahead before lighting his own and pulling away.
You both listened to his music in silence for a few minutes. As you fidgeted with the hem of your skirt, you recognized the song playing and began to mouth the lyrics.
I am my father's son 'cause he's a phantom, a mystery, and that leaves me nothing.
How many times have you wanted to die?
It's too late for me, all you have to do is get rid of me.
You can't see California without Marlon Brando's eyes.
Kylo's eyes darted over to you a few times, and he laughed. "There is no way- are you fucking singing along to Slipknot right now?! I thought this shit scared you, kid?" The look on his face was filled with shock and amusement.
"It's a catchy song. I don't know... Stop calling me that asshole!" You could feel the deep blush creeping across your face.
"No, No." He wasn't letting this go. "I didn't play this CD in the car yesterday, did you seriously go home and listen to it?" Between that and how embarrassed you looked from him pointing it out, Kylo could not contain the smile of pure amusement on his face.
"I don't know- Maybe." You looked out of the window, not facing him. You wanted nothing more than to die in that moment.
He was loving this too much. "Fucking obsessed with me, aren't ya? Listening to my songs and shit." Kylo teased.
You turned to glare at him. "I- No! Shut the fuck up." You gripped the fabric of your skirt and took a final drag of your cigarette before tossing it out of the window.
He laughed, shaking his head as he pulled into the driveway. "I'm only fucking with you."
"That's all you ever seem to do. Thanks for the ride I guess." You muttered as you got out of his car, slamming the door before walking to your house. As you walked away, you caught a glimpse of the look of disappointment and guilt on Kylo's face.
Fucking asshole. So unbelievable.
Kylo stayed in your driveway for a minute, debating on whether he should knock on your door to say something to you, but he ultimately decided against it and drove away.
That night, you laid in bed staring at your ceiling once again, head filled with thoughts of that stupid fucking beautiful asshole.
I don't understand him. He does nice shit for me sometimes, but then all he does is make fun of me?
And even after all of that, all you could think about was that stupid cigarette dangling from his lips and how hot he looked. Your mind wandered to how Kylo would lean closer to you, his hand resting on the back of your headrest while reversing. How he nodded his head and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the music. How close his face was to yours when he insisted on lighting your cigarette for you.
God! I'm such an idiot. I cant stand him or myself for that matter.
You heard a few taps on your window and your brow furrowed. You rolled out of bed, walking to your window before opening it. You were met with Kylo's dark eyes staring back at you.
Your eyes narrowed at him. "What a gentleman, thank you for knocking this time..." You said sardonically. "But Finn is asleep I think."
"Had to make sure you didn't have a guy over." He teased. "But I'm not here for him... you wanna smoke?" He grinned at you, holding up a neatly rolled joint.
You laughed nervously. "I've never smoked weed before Kylo, I don't know..."
"Of course you haven't... It'll be fine, I'm not asking you to smoke the whole goddamn thing." He smirked, offering his hand for you to take.
You sighed before taking Kylo's hand and ducking out of your window. The cold, October air sent goosebumps across your exposed arms and legs. He led you to a flat part of your roof and the both of you sat down together.
You watched as he placed the joint in his mouth and lit it, taking a couple hits before handing it to you.
You inhaled, noticing how it burned a little more than a cigarette does. You coughed slightly, which caused Kylo to chuckle, and you glared at him as you handed the joint back to him.
"I'm sorry if I made you mad earlier." He smirked, taking another hit.
You scoffed. "You just fuck with me too much. You always have."
Kylo sighed. "I only do it because your reactions are so fun... I didn't think about how it might make you feel." He paused. "And besides, I think its cute that you listened to my music all on your own, for the fun of it."
You blushed, hoping that the darkness would conceal the pink creeping across your face. "It's fine. I'm so used to your games by now." You laughed, shivering slightly.
Kylo placed the joint between his lips before slipping his dark jacket off and draping it around your shoulders. It felt so warm and was about three sizes too big for you. You laughed nervously, looking down. "Thank you."
He nodded, gazing down at you as he handed you the joint.
As the two of you sat in silence for a minute, the weed had already begun to take its toll on you. Everything seemed funny to you and as you looked up at the stars, you laughed softly at nothing.
Kylo smiled at you. "What's so funny, kid? Already high from two baby hits?" He teased. "This isn't even my strongest shit."
"You're such an idiot." You laughed at him, shaking your head.
The next hour was spent laughing about anything and everything. The two of you made fun of your brother, talked about college and how both of you agree calculus fucking sucks, and the two of you shared some other artists you liked with each other.
"I can't believe I clocked you so easily with Lana fucking Del Rey. I honest to god said that as a joke." Kylo laughed.
"Hey, she makes good music. Please let me make you listen to her the next time we're in the car, please." You playfully begged.
He sighed, feigning defeat. "Fine but only like two songs max... so you better make them good." Kylo smirked as he flicked the roach off the roof.
You weren't sure if it was the weed in your system, but something was giving you a slight newfound confidence to speak more freely. You sighed. "You're always spot on about me though... I am kind of lame. I always had this idea in my head that you and Finn were the ones who were losers... but in reality I am."
Kylo looked at you, puzzled. "I never thought you were a loser... I poke fun at you, sure, but I admire your intelligence... and how introverted you always are." He laughed, playfully pushing your shoulder.
You laughed nervously. "No, I mean... I don't go out and do anything fun the way you do. I don't loosen up, I don't hang out with people, I definitely never have guys over..." You laughed again, trailing off. "I mean my god I've never even kissed anyone."
He stared at you, his eyes scanning your face as if he were debating something. "You've got to be fucking with me right now. A pretty thing like you has surely got to have boys lined up and down the street."
You laughed at his comment, blushing. "If they are, I surely don't pay attention. No one talks to me at school." You stared at your lap, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.
You felt his cold fingertips touch your jaw, lifting your chin to look up at him. Before you could say anything, Kylo leaned in quickly and kissed you. You felt like a live wire, as if lightning bolts were shooting through your entire body. His kiss was urgent, yet gentle, and he held your face in his hands so tenderly.
When he pulled away, his eyes met yours and you both smiled nervously at each other. You noticed him shiver slightly. "Do you wanna... maybe go inside? It's warmer in there." You said shyly.
Kylo smirked at you. "Are you inviting a guy into your room right now?" He teased before standing up and taking your hand.
You giggled, following him. "Shut up."
He chuckled softly and when you got to the window, he went first. He ducked inside, pulling you with him which caused you both to practically fall through your window. You landed on top of him, your hushed giggles only silenced once he kissed you again.
"Shhh are you trying to wake your parents?" Kylo smirked up at you for a moment, taking in the sight of you on top of him on your bedroom floor, the moonlight from the window behind you illuminating you in a halo-like glow. He grabbed your waist and gently rolled you off of him, before you both stood up.
His large, strong hands pulled you by the waist closer to him, and he had to lean down to kiss you. His kiss was full of need this time, you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip, asking for entry and you obliged, parting your lips. You moaned against his mouth and you felt the smirk that played at his lips.
Kylo took a few steps forward, pushing you gently backwards until the backs of your knees hit your soft bed. He pulled away for a moment to take his jacket off of you and throw it to the floor, before pushing you flat onto your bed.
"I-I've never... um." You stumbled over your words, feeling your face get hot as your eyes darted up to your ceiling.
Kylo leaned over you, his palms flat on the mattress on either side of your head. "I just stole your first kiss a couple minutes ago, you don't think I know that?" He smirked down at you before tilting his head slightly, leaning closer to trail kisses down your neck. "Do you not want to? I can stop whenever you want, all you need to do is say so." He whispered between kisses, trailing his hand down your body and stopping just above your clothed cunt.
The sensation made the heat in your core grow. "N-no. Don't stop Kylo." You whined.
He smiled, before standing straight up again and looking down at you. He looped his fingers under the waistband of your shorts and underwear, pulling them off slowly. "Look at you sweet thing, I've barely touched you and you're already a fucking mess." He teased, causing you to whimper.
Kylo chuckled softly, separating your knees and ghosting his hand down your thigh, stopping at your heat. He ran two long fingers through your slit, collecting your wetness on them before rubbing light circles over your clit. You gasped at the contact, bucking your hips instinctively against his hand. "Needy little thing, aren't you?" He smirked, using his other hand to hold your waist down before pushing his fingers inside slowly.
You whined at the feeling of his long fingers stretching you out, your much smaller hands were nothing compared to his. After giving you a moment to adjust, Kylo began to slowly pump his fingers in and out of your cunt, curling them upwards to draw sweet, soft moans from you.
"K-Kylo..." You breathed.
He smirked, amused by how quickly you were coming undone at his hand. "What is it, pretty girl?"
You whined at the sweet name he gave you, stuttering over your words once again. "You're g-gonna make me c-cum."
Kylo laughed softly, he had already gathered that from the noises you were making. "Oh, yeah?" He smirked at you, not faltering once with the steady pace he had created with his fingers.
"P-please. Please I want you to..." You trailed off, lost in the pleasure he was giving you.
"Please what? I'm not gonna do anything else unless you ask for it. Go ahead... Say it, say it." He was having way too much fun with you.
"Please Kylo..." You begged him. "Please I- I want you t-to fuck me."
He grinned at you and stood up, removing his fingers from your cunt, before licking them clean. You tasted divine to him, and he made a mental note that he needed to taste the source at some point. Maybe another night.
You whined at the sudden feeling of emptiness and watched as he pulled a condom from his wallet, putting it between his lips before working to undo his belt. He made quick work of his clothes, saving his boxers for last and sliding them off, his cock springing upwards.
You didn't realize your mouth was open until Kylo looked over at you and saw you staring at him. He laughed, tearing the condom wrapper open with his teeth. "I'll go slow, don't worry." You watched as he slid the condom down to the base of his cock, before making his way over to you on the bed.
He made you sit up a bit so he could pull your shirt over your head, before kissing you, trailing down your neck and chest, leaving a few light red marks along the way. You whimpered at the sensation, not caring that you'd have to conceal them in the morning.
Kylo pulled away, admiring his work and settling himself between your legs, lining his cock up with your entrance. "Ready?" He moved a piece of hair from your eyes, smirking down at you.
You wrapped your arms around him, nodding your head. He groaned as he slowly pushed his cock inside you, taking extra care not to hurt you and watching as your face contorted from the feeling of his cock splitting you open. Your nails dug into his back as you whined.
After allowing you a moment to adjust to his size, Kylo began to move slowly, creating a gentle yet deep pace and hitting that bundle of nerves inside you with each thrust. It felt like heaven and you attempted to stifle your moans, failing miserably. "Shhh pretty girl, don't wake up the entire house now." He put his hand over your mouth lightly, smiling down at you.
You moaned against Kylo's hand as he began to pick up his pace slightly. He removed his hand to kiss you, his tongue winning dominance over the inside of your mouth.
Kylo pulled away to admire you, his thrusts were still gentle, but he was unrelenting on that sensitive spot, hitting it with each snap of his hips.
"Ky-kylo... m'gonna c-cum... feels so good." You whined, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"Yeah?" He moaned slightly, out of breath and nearing his own climax. "Go ahead, cum on my cock."
Your vision went blurry as you came undone beneath him, the tight coil in your abdomen bursting into fireworks of endless pleasure.
"Just like that, pretty girl. You're doing so good, Fuck." Kylo whispered in your ear, easing you through your orgasm as his hand rested over your mouth to muffle your moans.
After a few more thrusts he came to a halt with a groan, burying himself deep inside of you as he came. "Fuck- shit! You feel so fucking good." He hissed.
As Kylo came down from his high, he breathed heavily, smiling down at you before kissing you again. He pulled away, pulling out of you. You whined, which caused him to chuckle slightly. You watched as he took the condom off, throwing it in the trash before slipping his boxers back on, and retrieving his band t-shirt and your underwear from the floor.
He sat back on the bed and gently dressed you, his shirt hanging off of your much smaller frame. "You look so pretty in my clothes." He smirked at you, pulling your covers over the two of you before taking you into his arms.
You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat flutter. "Thank you." You whispered softly.
Kylo chuckled. "For what, pretty girl?" He played with your hair.
"For making my first time memorable. It was really, really good..." You trailed off sleepily.
You heard his heartbeat falter at your comment and you smiled. He ran his fingers through your hair. "You don't have to thank me for that, I've wanted to do this for a while now." Kylo waited for an answer but it never came. He sighed, smiling as he realized you had fallen asleep on him. This was a feeling he could get used to.
The following morning, you two were awoken by the sound of your mother knocking on your bedroom door. Kylo was immediately alert, scrambling out of bed and grabbing his remaining clothes before ducking under your bed as you silently laughed at him.
"Yeah?" You called out to your mother.
She entered, looking around your room. "I'm going to the grocery store, do you want anything... where did you get that shirt." She stared at the Slipknot t-shirt you were wearing that was three sizes too big for you.
You looked down at yourself, before looking back at her. "I'm doing laundry right now and Kylo left it in Finn's room a long time ago." You lied through your teeth. "And no, I don't want anything."
"Hm, okay... And close that window, the heat is on and its freezing in here!" She motioned to your open window before leaving, shutting the door behind her.
You fell back onto your pillow, shutting your eyes and smiling at the sound of Kylo's laughter beneath you.
315 notes · View notes
the-tales-of-ren · 10 months ago
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Asking you out on a date
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Pairing: Kylo Ren x reader
Warnings: None
Requested: @obessionprofessional
Request:
Hi! Since you’re taking requests, would you be okay to write a fic about Kylo asking a female reader on a date? It could be the other way around, too! I hope you have a quick recovery!
Note: I made this into HC list, I hope that’s okay!
***
• Kylo Ren may act cold and distant towards you more so than everyone else, but that’s because he doesn’t know how to expression feelings without risking ruining his reputation around the First Order
• Therefore, that fails him to think of any ways to properly ask you out without possibly putting your life at risk of Snoke
• Being cold and distant was just his way of protecting you in the beginning
• But that all changes when Kylo becomes supreme leader of the First Order
• It wasn’t until after defeating Snoke and Rey escaping back to the Resistance did Kylo how much more freedom he gained taking place as the new supreme leader, he was free to do as he wished
• The very first thing Kylo did in his new position was finding you and explaining to you that he was now the supreme leader and the explanation was followed by him asking you out on a date
• At first, you thought it was a joke. Not of him defeating Snoke but the part where he was asking you on a date, but than you saw the glimpse of sincerity in his eyes.
• Of course you had accepted. In your heart, you would have accepted even if he wasn’t the supreme leader, you still would have agreed
• Though Kylo was cold and distant towards you in the beginning, that didn’t stop you from falling for the masked man. You understand that he had to have a reason for why he was the way he was towards you and you were quite right about that
• After how well things went on the first date, Kylo had made a promise to you and himself that he would never again treat you as if you were simply nothing
• Not much was done on the first date, it was mostly just the two of you hanging out and getting to know each other better while finding things in common
• You were from the planet Earth and shared many funny childhood stories of your life there. The one he got a crack out of was the story of a raccoon you and your friend supposedly thought was dead after seeing a fly crawling around its eye as it got up and the two of you as you were walking home from school together
• That story had given Kylo a laugh he hadn’t had in a good long while, it was a laugh he needed and he couldn’t be any more pleased than to receive it from you, the one he loves
• Ever since the first date, you both became inseparable and even with Snoke now gone, Kylo was always careful about exposing your relationship
• Neither of you could afford the Resistance finding out and using it against you
• Kylo gets a little too overprotective
• If you think you can have a casual conversation with General Hux, you are sadly mistaken
• Even if he is your friend, Kylo doesn’t trust him and doesn’t like him around you
• The only other person he really trusts to be around you in the order is captain Phasma
• Kylo is just thinking of your safety and wants to keep you protected at all times because he loves you so much
• Losing you would be a nightmare come true
• Losing you would be very much like his own death sentence
• He can’t lose you
• He won’t
~~~
100 notes · View notes
writerscafehub · 8 months ago
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𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀: 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱
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@thecutestlittlebunbunfairy
From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)
I give myself a solid 3 stars. I think I can churn out some good stories and smut, but I know I make grammatical errors and sometimes my stories have an awkward flow, but I'm always working to get better. 
What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?
I’ve been told a few times that I have a good story telling ability; so I think that’s where I shine/stand out/ Being able to take a prompt, a song, or just a few quotes and turn it into a full story.
Are there any writers that inspire you?
Unfortunately, a lot of the writers who inspired me have left tumblr and are lost to time. Some of the ones that are still here are angryschnauzer, tsuntsunfangirl, and caffiened-queen. Some new favourites are Navy, hansensgirl, harryspet, tumblin-theworldaway, and of course all my friends in the server <3
What’s the fic you’re most proud of?
It’s so hard to pick just one so i’ll give two! I’m incredibly proud of my Spooptober 2023 collection. It was a tribute and inspired by Hozier’s newest album, and it was the first time I completed a monthly collection! Easter Bunny is definitely a favourite as well; not only a Lee fic (I love our Sheriff so much) but it was a chance to write some real escapist fluff. 
Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?
Loki, Bucky, and Cap are definitely my easiest characters. They’re my ol’ reliables and I love all three of them.
Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?
The obvious answer is: BUCKY lol. But a lot of my fifcs tgend  to be escapism style stories. Bucky coming in to “rescue” the reader in one form or another, even if it’s a dark “rescue”
Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!
I have 3 long term multi chapter fics planned that I can’t wait to share with everyone (eventually). Two of them are Kylo Ren fics, with one having Kylo Ren as a Director of an art museum, hiring an intern whom Kylo assumes is a guy, but is actually a v cute girl and the other being a Mafia!Kylo with an arranged marriage. The last is a Loki fic with Loki as the CEO of a company who needs a bride to appear good for business purposes. 
First fandom you ever wrote for?
Technically the MCU. The first ever fic I wrote was a Tom Hiddleston fic.
Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?
I admit I don’t really believe in “guilty” pleasures; pleasures should be enjoyed! But man am I a sucker for my dub/non-con, kidnapping, and yandere stories!
A trope you’ll never, ever write for.
I try to not to say “never” because i’m always open to inspiration, but i don’t see myself ever writing anything with pregnancy/babies
Wildest fic you’ve ever written?
I wrote this INSANE fic called “When Magic Meets Insanity” which is a threesome between Loki, Reader, and Jerome Valeska from Gotham. It’s crack to hell and is still available to read on my AO3. 
Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)
Stucky. Always. They are my OTP and I love how fun it is to explore their relationship. Especially throwing Sam into the mix. 
Do you listen to anything while you write?
It mostly depends on what/who i’m writing, but yes! For example, I’ll listen to oldies stuff when I'm writing for Lee, and I have this GREAT Asgardian library ambience for writing Loki. 
One-shots or multi-chaptered works?
One-shots. 
Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!
Not really, I sometimes imagine what happens after, but once a fic is done, I tend to just put it on a shelf and leave it. It’s why I hardly write sequels
Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?
I long to write some really good multi-chaptered works, but I struggle with writing long term conflict and i’m worried they’ll be awkward and won’t read well. 
What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?
The best comment I’ve ever gotten was on my fic Sunlight (Sun God!Steve) from tumblin-theworldaway. She wrote a big huge comment on the fic and it was like the first thing I saw on a monday morning and I needed a good comment. 
Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?
I won’t say “comfort zone” but I wrote my first ever Monster Fucker fic not too long ago, “By Land or By Sea” about Sea Monster!Loki and it was defintely new and interesting to write! 
Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?
Fluff, always. I’m always a sucker for happy endings (even dark happy endings lol)
Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!
Sort of. I have a beauty and the beast style novel planned. The beast is a rich lobbyist for oil industries. And the beauty is an indigenous woman who meets the beast at a cabin in the woods. It’s still heavily in development and i’m not sure when it’ll come to fruition. 
If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?
“Teddy Bears” for sure. With slightly dark Bucky and Steve kidnapping me (is it kidnapping if i’m willing?? lol) and telling me I don’t have to work and they’ll take care of me? I’d be there in a heartbeat. 
Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?
I always write stoned lol. I get a ton of creativity and inspiration from weed and it helps make the ideas flow. It just can take a while to interpret all my stoned ramblings sometimes. 
Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.
This is from my most recently published fic, the last fic in my Spooptober Collection, “To Someone from a Warmer Climate. The fic is about a witch!reader who is visited by a humble sheriff, Lee Bodecker. But he is more than meets the eye.
“Mmmmm…damn…That’s the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had. And I just love the taste of the forgetfulness potion you added.”  Your heart dropped into your stomach.                 “What did you say?” He didn’t answer, only leaning back in his chair. He blinked and where crystal blue eyes had seemed to make him handsome and rakish; now were two inky black pits. He blinked again and his eyes were human again, but now his irises were crimson red. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. You’d dealt with a few lower-level demons in your travels, but never someone who you could walk through your house’s defenses so easily. Usually, any malevolent force was neutralized before it even touched your house. But he…he was something darker. “I’d heard about a pretty witch living out here in the woods.” Lee continued. “Thought it was just another one of them dippy mortals wearing peace signs. But then that little old lady came in, bringing some brownies she said you’d made. And when I tasted them, I knew for sure. There was a real little witch somewhere in town. “Though it took me a while to find ya, darling. All them wards and runes…you’ve kept yourself pretty well hidden. But when that same sweet little old lady called in, worried about her friend in the woods, I knew I’d found you and here you are. Hidden away from the world, cooking up spells your nose buried in a mountain of books. All that defensive magic and you opened the front door for me and invited me in. Silly girl.” His eyes raked over your body, studying you.
Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!
Fanfiction writing has been some of the most fun writing I've ever had. I’ve loved writing for my whole life but sometimes it’s a struggle to write and create an entire cast/world. Fanfiction gives a helping hand to an entire gallery of characters with infinite possibilities. Not to mention the fact that based on “What if” logic, there is a multiverse out there where these fics really happen lol. I look forward to even more writing in the future, both fanfic and original. 
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cosleia · 1 year ago
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Prince Ben Organa is the mysterious, rarely seen governor of Birren who dresses in Naboo styles; Armitage Hux is galactic emperor. The two would make a good match, according to Hux's advisor. But neither of them is interested in an arranged marriage. And besides, Hux has met someone much better, far more interesting, while indulging in his favorite pastime of engineering, in a commoner's clothes. Kylo Ren, a sought-after test pilot, is everything Ben is not: flashy, emotional, powerful, an incredible physical presence.
Ben, of course, is indulging in his favorite pastime of flying, but under a pseudonym, disguised just as Hux is. The two keep meeting surreptitiously in cantinas and hangars and public restrooms. Hux sees Kylo's face but doesn't recognize Ben; there's no makeup.
Hux can't marry Kylo...he's not royalty. But he's not sure he wants to get married at all. He doesn't need a spouse, a weakness. He has Kylo in bed; that's what matters.
Meanwhile, Ben is in awe of how much "Sloane" looks like the emperor. It's uncanny, really.
Of course, when you're royalty, you attend balls. Even the reclusive Ben Organa. Hux isn't looking forward to seeing his almost-betrothed, but he makes nice. When they shake hands, he does a double take. Ben is as large as Kylo. It was hard to tell, under everything he wears.
Ben is amazed. Sloane really does look like the emperor; it wasn't just his imagination. Even up close, he's hard-pressed to tell the difference. He wishes Sloane were here, but of course that couldn't happen. Sloane is an engineer, not suitable for this ball, or as Ben's partner
Not that Ben wants to get married anyway. There were talks of him marrying the emperor, but why would he marry someone he didn't even know, regardless of how handsome? Marriage just seems like more rules to follow, and Ben has enough of those already.
So their hands fall away from each other, and Ben bows to his emperor, and Hux nods and dismisses him, and they go back to their lives, never knowing they have been with each other all along.
~
Originally posted to Twitter in response to a prompt from @rudbeckiasunflower: "Kylux, crack, secret royalty, mistaken identity". Might get expanded to an actual fic someday...if anyone else wants to take a shot at it feel free!
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waywardrose · 1 year ago
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MASTERLIST
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Under the cut are x-reader fics for:
Flip Zimmerman (BlacKkKlansman)
Pale (Burn This)
Ronnie Peterson (The Dead Don’t Die)
Adam Sackler (HBO’s Girls)
Jacques le Gris (The Last Duel)
Clyde Logan (Logan Lucky)
Charlie Barber (Marriage Story)
Abraham H. Parnassus (Saturday Night Live)
Kylo Ren (Star Wars)
Armitage Hux (Star Wars)
Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)
Phillip Altman (This Is Where I Leave You)
+ Miscellaneous fics (and more! 👀)
updated: September 25, 2024
Follow me on:
AO3
Wattpad
Discord: waywardrose
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BLACKKKLANSMAN
reader x flip zimmerman
🌹 A Reintroduction
rating: teen+, 1.5k, gender-neutral!reader, flip is dishonest, but also thirsty, drug-dealing mention
Flip. Your Flip is with the cops. He has a gun and a badge and everything.
That didn’t make any sense.
🌹 Flashfic: Flip could get it ✊
🌹 Flashfic: How do you think Flip would react to his wife’s changing body during pregnancy?
🌹 Flashfic: How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
🌹 Flashfic: How do they picture their future with their s/o?
🌹 The Handler
rating: explicit, 4.4k, sexism, violence, abusive language, blood (bc of the violence), drug mention, guns mention, child sex-trafficking mention, rape threat, jealousy, fighting
You propped your cowboy boot on the table edge and took a long drink of beer. No one sitting at the  table with you paid your rudeness any mind. In fact, Johnny Claiborne  promptly placed his callused hand on your bare knee.
🌹 It’s Too Late To Turn Back Now
rating: teen, 2.1k, past physical-abuse mention, brief injury description, off-screen murder, period-typical sexism
The first time Flip saw you, you were bruised and cuffed. The scuttlebutt around the precinct was you had run over and murdered your abusive ex-boyfriend.
🌹 Queen of the Roller Derby
rating: mature, 2.3k, vague injury description, anachronistic sports teams and organizations
He couldn’t believe… Well, a lot of things. First, that he’d been invited. Second, that he was looking forward to the bout. Third, that he was anxious for your well-being.
🌹 NSFW Alphabet Series
ABC | DE | FGH | IJK | LMN | OP | QRS | TU | V | WXYZ
Bonus: My five favorite things about Flip Zimmerman
rating: explicit, 32k, stand-alone vignettes, oral sex, fluff, angst with happy ending, masturbation, daddy kink, public and semi-public sex, kind-of somnophilia, drug use, under-negotiated bondage and spanking, soft domming, ass play
Your legs went limp on Flip’s shoulders, and you felt him eased them down to the bed. He ran his big hands up your sides and then under your back as he bent forward.
🌹 Still the Same
rating: explicit, 13k, fem!reader, high-school!flip+reader, vaguely 1969 (with  inaccuracies), fingering, handjobs, pining, military draft/service (with inaccuracies), colorado setting, period-typical drug use, magical first time, angst with happy ending
He cracked the window, letting in the crisp spring air. It was too dark to see where specifically he was looking, but he had turned to face  you. One hand remained on the steering wheel, the other over the back of the seat.
He offered, “Wanna get in the back?”
“Sure,” you said, dropping your purse on the floor, and opened your door.
🌹 Three-day Weekend
rating: explicit, 3.2k, daddy kink, daddy dom, reader is not a little, off-screen negotiation, edging, oral sex, mild spanking
You  woke to a hot hand sliding across your bare middle and lips kissing your shoulder. There was the tickle of whiskers, and you turned your head towards disruption. With a sigh, you opened your eyes to watch Flip kiss your shoulder again. He looked up at you as his hand traveled under the sheet bunched below your waist.
“Mornin’, baby,” he said. His voice was sleep-rough yet tender.
🌹 Triple-Feature
rating: mature, 2.8k, old-fashioned living arrangements, making out
The Aircadia Drive-In was running a classic-horror triple-feature this Saturday night. You read in the paper they were playing The Wolf Man, Frankenstein, and Dracula. That evening, you rang Flip and asked him out on a date. You even offered to pay.
🌹 You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet
rating: mature, 2.8k, detective reader, estranged married couple, smoking, period-typical sexism, dirty talk
…you balanced your mother’s big Tupperware container filled with homemade Samoas cookies. They were Flip’s favorite, and he detested sharing them. But he would have to—because you were famous around the station for your cookies.
You hoped he only got one. It would serve him right.
🌹 You Can Leave Your Skates On
rating: explicit, 2k, almost uniform kink, roller derby mention, clothed female naked male
The sink counter was strewn with make-up and hair tools and the pair of scissors from the kitchen. Before he could ask what the hell all this was for, you kissed his cheek and closed the bathroom door behind him.
Spiritual sequel to Queen of the Roller Derby
🌹 You Light Up My Life
rating: teen, 1.4k, sneakiness, secrets, fluffy married life
The first time you knew something was up was when Flip started his car and hurried to change the radio station.
🌹 You’re the Inspiration
rating: teen, 854, past alcohol abuse, fluffy afternoon
Flip sat in his switched off car and stared at the dark house. He wanted to break something.
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BURN THIS
reader x pale
🌹 In the Night We Trust | playlist on spotify
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
rating: explicit, 57k, pretty woman au, prostitute reader, 1980s/90s, drug use  mention, alcohol consumption, inherent power imbalance, soft dom, choking (not breathplay), safe sex, oral sex, semi-public sex, public dirty talk, rough sex, mild spanking, fighting, abusive language, attempted sexual assault, aftercare
“So tell me, Pale, are you in town on business or pleasure?”
“Business…” He looks at your lips. “Until now.”
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THE DEAD DON’T DIE
reader x ronald peterson
🌹 A Grave New World
rating: teen+, 804, canon-typical violence, missing parents
You’d only gone on one date—a really nice date, too—with Ronnie Peterson and then the zombie apocalypse happened. Like, what the actual fuck?
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GIRLS (HBO)
reader x adam sackler
🌹 Flashfic: …imagine him trying to cuddle and smooch his gf in public and she’s like “😬😬 what are you doing…? Mmm, I guess it’s not so bad”
🌹 Flashfic: please. please tell me about licking sackler’s sack. its all i can think about. my mind has been infected by thoughts of adam sacklers balls in my mouth
🌹 Improving His Taste
rating: teen+, 2.2k, post s05e10, arguments with SO, making out
You were so sick of Adam Sackler and his tempestuous girlfriends.
🌹 Let Me Explain
rating: teen+, 1.2k, light angst, happy ending
“Whoa, let me explain!” Adam implored while teetering in patent leather stilettos, a chef’s knife with slices of carrot sticking to it in his hand. He grabbed the kitchen counter with his left to steady himself.
🌹 There Is A Light (That Never Goes Out)
rating: explicit, 4.3k, canon-typical buffoonery, jealousy, brief non-con element, femdom-ish reader, oral sex
“Take off your clothes,” he murmured after kissing you. “And crawl to my bed.”
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THE LAST DUEL
reader x jacques le gris
🌹 Fair Is Foul
rating: teen, 1.8k, historical inaccuracies, timeline inaccuracies, anachronisms, medieval  flirting, sad/open ending, minor spoilers(?), rape mention
The other ladies at court told you not to demean yourself by keeping company with a squire. You pointed out that said squire had Count Pierre’s favor. Said squire might even be favored above any knight.
🌹 To Honor and Innocence
rating: mature, 5.3k, fem!reader, young!jacques, historical/jousting inaccuracies, ✨the  middle ages were magic✨, catholic imagery, reader has a spring/summer birthday, just roll with me, making out, thigh riding, euphemisms galore
You needed to look away, but you couldn’t. He was striking with the sudden high color in his cheeks and glittering eyes. His smile softened around the edges, and your heart soared at the sight.
Look away, you’d told yourself. Look away before you lose yourself.
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LOGAN LUCKY
reader x clyde logan
🌹 A Newer World
rating: teen, 1.3k, PTSD symptom mention
Jimmy leaned across the patio table, bottle of Coors in hand. “So, when you gonna make an honest woman outta her?”
🌹 Lucky Me Lucky You | duck tape jukebox on spotify | ambient mix by Sushii
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
Bonus: NSFW Alphabet [2.1k]
rating: explicit, 33k, counter-espionage, angst with happy ending, alcohol consumption
You’d had big plans for your future. He’d had big plans, too. During senior year, you’d overheard him talking before class about joining the Army. You had thought about him in that service uniform and how handsome he would look.
Thirteen years later, Clyde was tending bar, sans uniform and missing part of his left arm. At the same time, you were working at the data-entry/call-center down the road from the house you inherited from your late grandmother.
So much for big plans.
🌹 When I Saw You
rating: mature/explicit, 3k, hairdresser!reader, touch-starved!clyde, post movie, erotic fantasies
In his fantasies, he always has both hands.
Which he knows is ironic.
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MARRIAGE STORY
reader x charlie barber
🌹 Finding Treasure in the Dark
1 | 2
rating: explicit, 18k, submissive!female-reader, dom!charlie, under-negotiated bdsm, impact play, nipple play, oral sex, anal sex, piv sex, restraints, rope bondage, edging, semi-public fingering, sex toys, handjobs, public teasing
“Yes!“ she hissed in delight. "I told Professor Barber straight out I didn’t do that crap. Or let him boss me around. That’s why I dropped him, you know. If he wants some Stepford to indulge his impulses, he should go to Fetster or whatever.”
Your eyes went wide, and you shifted in your seat, faux-yawning and stretching your arms to cover the movement. You knew Charlie Barber.
🌹 Sweet Angel
rating: explicit, 3k, fluff, dog adoption, insecure!Charlie, piv sex
Since moving to a house with a fenced yard, Henry has been focused on getting a dog. First, it was getting a puppy for Christmas. When that hadn’t panned out, a dog for his birthday. Nicole wouldn’t install a real fence at her place, but tried to distract him with a new iPad.
That worked for a month.
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SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
reader x abraham h. parnassus
🌹 Flashfic: …what would young!Abe do for his wife on [Valentine’s Day]??
🌹 Flashfic: Abe Parnassus vibes jacquesdemys.tumblr com/post/125815250515
🌹 His Girl On A Friday
rating: teen+, 1.2k, corporate espionage, seduction
You’ve been sent by your father, Henry Pickens, to spy on his rival: Abraham H. Parnassus.
🌹 Indulgences
rating: mature, 1.5k, fem!reader, vaguely 1950s, old-fashioned euphemisms, dub-con-ish at first, public fingering, mild edging
It’s official: Don Carlos is boring. Yes, it’s a fundraiser. And of course, you agreed to purchase tickets. Anything to support The Met. But this opera, while beautiful, is dull.
🌹 My Baby Just Cares for Me Series
rating: explicit, sheltered-artist reader, vaguely 1950s, no vintage racism, written with old-fashioned sensibilities and euphemisms, oral sex, alcohol consumption, semi-public sex, sex toys, vaginal fingering, first time
— Expanding One’s Horizons [5k]
“We all need to expand our horizons,” you said as you went to the dining room to turn off the lights.
“Indeed we do, my love.”
— Tension Tamer [3k]
The  mattress trembled under you. The softly lit face of your alarm clock said it was after three. You knew it must be work that had awoken him. The company was in the middle of a merger and tensions were high.
— A Treasure More Than Gold [2.2k]
You met your husband’s eyes across the dance floor of Hotel Astor’s ballroom. He’d let his five o'clock shadow develop into a short Vandyke beard in preparation for Babe Paley’s Halloween gala.
— Minx [2.7k]
Abe groaned into the coverlet as you pressed your thumbs on either side of his spine. His muscles were slowly losing their tightness. You didn’t think his desk chair at work was supporting him properly. Most likely, he never sat in it except to sign documents.
— It’s Magic [4.4k]
Don’t go to art school, they said.
— Two To Tango [7k]
You sat at the bistro table tucked in the corner of the pasticceria. Abe sat across from you, tiny plates of bite-sized cake on the table between you.
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STAR WARS
general
🌹 The Skywalker Ascension
rating: teen, 4.5k, tros revision, mc death, angst, lightsaber battles, retcon timeline
“All the Sith live in me,” he vows. “You will be empress, and we will be one.”
While disgust churns her gut, she will not hate, she will not give in.
To him or to anyone.
🌹 Unsanctioned
rating: general, 371, universe jumping, pre-tfa, my poor attempt at humor
You’re taking the walk of shame to the kitchen, arms full of dirty dishes.
kylo ren x armitage hux
🌹 Bombing Out
rating: mature, 1.4k, canon compliant, cannoli kylux, gambling, strip sabacc, alcohol consumption, afterlife, mutual pining, arguing
He didn’t know why he was playing sabacc. He didn’t like card games. There was hardly any strategy. No planning. Everything was left to chance. It was messy. And the gambling. He didn’t mind risk, of course, but one had to match their opponents’ bets. Which meant the opponent had too much control.
It was idiotic.
About as idiotic as his opponent, Ben Solo—
Who had literally lost his shirt last round.
🌹 Iron Moon Series on AO3 | photoset | spotify playlist by ayudameme
rating: explicit, 36k, canon universe, xeno-vampires, canon-typical violence, the first order wins, soft kylux, but with blood, knife play, blood drinking
He wanted to taste it, lick it all up. He wanted to run his tongue along the cauterized edges of the cut on Ren’s face. He wanted to follow it down under Ren’s ruined clothing.
reader x armitage hux
🌹 Flashfic: Armitage Hux is low key hot
🌹 Flashfic: I want Hux to throat fuck me
🌹 Succor
rating: mature, 2.4k, shy princess reader, fo-leader hux, the first order won, arranged marriage, dirty talk
You felt your dinner guests’ eyes on you, their judgements. You ignored them while hiding behind the courtly rituals you’d been taught since childhood.
reader x kylo ren | ben solo
🌹 All the Time in the Galaxy
rating: teen, 1.9k, kor reader, mutual pining, first kiss
“Lady Ren, pardon the interruption—” You didn’t know what he was  interrupting. You were both standing in silence. “—The techs have noticed something strange here on Starkiller.”
🌹 Call It In the Ring Series
rating: teen-mature, college au, art-majors kylo and reader, first date, sibling fights, nude photography, assisted masturbation, phone sex, fingering
— Hotshot House Show [2.5k]
You checked the address one more time on your phone. It was right, but definitely not what you expected when Kylo offered to make you dinner.
— Worked Shoot [5k]
Photography midterms were due in two weeks, and you only had one of the four photos you needed. You silently berated yourself because you’d known this was coming. It was on the damn syllabus.
But who actually read the syllabus?
— Clean Finish [2k]
You couldn’t believe you were about to do this, you thought as you stood naked in front of the clean bathroom mirror. You didn’t know if Kylo would like it. What if he didn’t?
— Vignette [938]
Ben was all “Morning, beautiful” with a grin Flynn Rider would be proud of. He sat close to you on the sectional sofa—even though there were plenty available places to sit.
— Bonus: I want nothing more than to strip off his clothes piece by piece, kissing any and all skin bared to me.
— Dirty Pre-show [1.3k]
You’d washed at the sink in the studio, but ugh, your jeans are splattered with slip. You’re pretty sure you have some on your face, in your hair. Hell, even one of your ears feels crusty.
How the ever living fuck does it get everywhere?
🌹 Dum Dums
rating: teen, 2.3k, gender-neutral reader, suburban high-school au, fluff, mutual pining, mild angst with happy ending
“Your boyfriend’s looking this way again,” Poe sing-songed before taking a big bite of his apple.
You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly who he was talking about. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you reply as you set your bottle of water on the lunch tray.
🌹 Flashfic: Please the (fem-dom!reader) story from gc…. I NEED IT
🌹 Flashfic: FAM IM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU… PLEASE PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT GIVING SMOOCHES TO FOREVER SAD BOY KYLO
🌹 Flashfic: How does Kylo spoil his lady?
🌹 Flashfic: So, what do you guys think is Kylo’s favorite way to kiss?
🌹 Hello
rating: mature(ish), 1k, modern au, dream-sharing, pining, possessiveness, nightmare elements, magic/force shenanigans
A phone rang. Burr-ring. Distant at first. Burr-ring. Clanging. Jarring. Burr-ring. It was too dark to find it. You groped around in the cool, damp blackness to find nothing. Burr-ring. You cursed just before your hand slapped against something cold and metal.
🌹 Me and The Devil Series
rating: mature-explicit, modern vampire au, dub con, death mention, blood drinking, menstruation, oral sex, biting, predator/prey
— Flashfic: …I want vampire!kylo to do *very* unspeakable things to me :)
— Flashfic: Very bored tonight and [thinking] about vamp!kylo, if you have any, what’re your favorite five about him?
— You’re My Sweetness [2.1k]
“You’re sad,” he murmured, a note of confusion in his words.
“Funerals tend to do that.”
“Let me make it better.”
— Red Wings [1.4k]
So, you laid there and bled onto an overnight pad that had to be the length of a regulation cricket bat.
— Flashfic: Do you have any thoughts on vampire Kylo sensually playing with you with his teeth?
— To Bring You My Love [9.4k]
“Biker gang? Pfft!” said your boss Vic in reply to a bar patron
The agitated patron continued, describing a group of bikers led by a dark-haired man with a scar bisecting his face.
You suppressed a shudder as you mixed a simple cocktail.
🌹 Not Like the Rest
rating: teen, 948, alcohol consumption, politics
So, Ben’s kept moving for years. He hustles. He’s on committees. He researches everyone around him. He schmoozes.
And he’s schmoozing during a dinner to honor a retiring staffer when he sees you.
🌹 On the Pulse of Mourning
rating: teen, 6.5k, ptsd, angst, disregarding an elder’s wisdom, force choking, force weirdness
He sat on the lowered ramp of his TIE and waited for the Resistance scouts to find him. He didn’t think it would take them long. He’d landed only two klicks from the base.
🌹 The Sofa King
rating: mature, 550, hs au, making out, frottage
Anonymous asked: Ben Solo is such a precious little baby I don't see him making the first move. He would be way too nervous. Like during a movie night you could literally be in his lap, rubbing his chest, purring into his ear and he would just keep his eyes locked on the screen, jaw locked, shifting uncomfortably, and he making silly comments about the movie.
reader x kylo ren x armitage hux
🌹 Precious Pet Series on AO3 | photoset | playlist on spotify
Bonus: NSFW Alphabet for Kylo and Hux [1.6k]
rating: explicit, 335k, canon universe, force-sensitive reader, departing from tfa, stockholm syndrome, force bond, everyone has issues
A hush suddenly fell over the village and you strained to hear anything. Was it over? Had the Order gotten what it wanted? You had a gnawing feeling it was only beginning.
The whoosh of energy—you couldn’t identify the noise, but you knew it wasn’t good—pierced the air. There was a collective horrified gasp and more scrabbling and then more blaster fire. Something had happened, something terrible. Someone’s death had triggered it all. Suddenly, there were screams and controlled violent blasters, and you covered your mouth to muffle your sob. The village was dead. Everyone you knew was dead. Lor San Tekka was gone. You felt it like a punch to the chest.
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STAR WARS/DREDD
armitage hux x clan techie
🌹 Little Blue
rating: mature, 1.3k, incest, abuse mention, jealousy, crushes
“I see you’ve been slumming it with the radar techs again,” Armie said from his perch on Techie’s bed.
Techie gnawed on his lip, stepping through the doorway of his berth, and let the door slide shut behind him. He knew it would be stupid to deny it. He was wearing the tech jumpsuit after all.
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STRANGER THINGS
reader x eddie munson
🌹 Sidetracked
rating: teen, 900, mechanic!eddie, gender-neutral!reader, domestic fluff, slice of life
Maybe something last-minute happened. Like an emergency tow. Or a quick flat-tire fix. Or a gaggle of geese had waddled into one of the bays — again.
🌹 Through A Glass Darkly | playlist on spotify | masterlist
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28
rating: explicit, 163k, canon universe, fem/witchy/goth!reader, magic, slow burn, friends to lovers, series-typical horror, period-typical sexism and homophobia, historical inaccuracies and anachronisms, drug dealing and use, smoking, alcohol use, masturbation, mutual masturbation, fantasizing, one-bed trope, making out, fingering, dirty talk, chasing, oral sex, handjobs, condoms, piv sex, mild spanking, reader’s father is a dirtbag, magical violation, mental torture, body horror, aftercare, nightmares, strict parenting, panic attack, past child abuse and abandonment, semi-public sex, breaking up, angst with happy ending, running away, guns, fighting, everyone survives, suicidal ideation
Eddie would have to wait until his lunch break to see this new, hot, weird chick. He wondered which flavor of weird she was. Art weird? Theater weird? Band weird?
Weird weird?
He shrugged. He liked weird.
In other words, you’re the new girl in town, and Eddie is intrigued.
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THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU
reader x phillip altman
🌹 Risking Thorns
rating: explicit, 12k, post-movie, ice skating, nice suburban upbringing, slut shaming, almost enemies-to-lovers, prickly reader, phillip gets a short leash, bastardization of a jewish holiday, fingering, semi-public sex, phone sex, spanking threat
Once she pulled out of the parking lot, you asked, “So, where are we going?”
“Altman’s? I thought you got your skates sharpened there, too?”
Mental alarms went off as you shook your head. You knew the Altmans…
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THE WITCHER
yennefer x geralt
🌹 Nailed Into Place
rating: explicit, 14k, modern new orleans au, inspired by s01e03 “betrayer moon”, mishmash of nola folklore, i’ve altered the striga curse (pray i don’t alter it further), references to s01e05 “bottled appetites”, timeline what timeline, alcohol consumption, incest mention, pedophilia mention, injuries, blood, ableist language, a sprinkling of geralt/jaskier
Geralt Rivia is the only witcher in New Orleans. He’s typically hard to find until Jaskier decides to announce on Instagram where he’ll be performing via selfies with Geralt in the background. Baron Ostrit, an associate of mob-connected Foltest Temeria, shows up to hire Geralt to rescue his daughter from slavers. Another princess to save. Geralt finds himself in a tangle lies, from the Marigny to the Garden District—and consulting with a mage he hasn’t seen in years…
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MISCELLANEOUS
🌹 Character Soundtrack
Songs and playlists for characters I (and others) associate with them. Feel free to message me with ideas!
🌹 BlacKkKlansman Supercut
Flip Zimmerman scenes only.
🌹 Logan Lucky Supercut
Clyde Logan scenes only.
🌹 Burn This - Audio
Bootleg audio recording of the play.
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lvsifer · 9 months ago
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Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern
tagged by @seamayweed thank you so much 💕
Quick disclaimer: the tags added here are to give a general impression, pls heed the ao3 tags if you want to read them as many of these include unhealthy dynamics etc. ♡
1. true faith. (TLT: John/Alecto, John/Mercy/Augustine) character study
For almost ten thousand years Alecto dreams in her tomb.
2. Night Moth (Silmarillion: Mairon/Witchking of Angmar) slow burn, seduction
The mountains rise high and crack black into the storming sky, here in the North where winds whip the landscape into desert, where all is barren stone and blackness save the snowy crests of the mountains, one man has long since claimed his stronghold. 
3. more than blood hooks (Fantastic Beasts: Albus/Gellert, Gellert/Aurelius, Albus/Aurelius) exploration of grief, dead dove
The wind blows cold and wet, scatters snow on every surface until at last the world is white with silence.
4. lean to my wound; burn on (HOTD: Rhaenyra/Daemon, Rhaenyra/Alicent) coming of age, gender exploration
Rhaenyra is four years old and hiding behind her father’s chair, clasping her wooden sword.
5. No Sacrilege (IWTV: Lestat/Louis) pwp, Louis in a dress, love
It’s a sweltering summer night, the heat so thick it stills the world by day and now sweetens the dusk.
6. missing link (BTS: Jhope/Yoongi) pwp, kink, cnc roleplay, web cams
Yoongi opens the website, dick in hand.
7. Friction (Star Wars: Kylo Ren/General Hux) Vader survives AU, action, politics, war, classic kylux
“I killed Luke Skywalker. The last Jedi is dead.”
8. Bangtan High cowritten with Elinad ♡ (BTS: ot7 and all variations of ships) teacher!AU, mutual pining, angst, fluff, slice of life
A sheet of fog dusts the town, wetting the air with the smell of rotting leaves.
9. doubtless while we dream (BTS: Jhope/Yoongi, Taehyung/Yoongi, Jhope/Taehyung, Jhope/Taehyung/Yoongi) pwp, hurt/comfort
The sun sets dirty over the noise of Manhattan's streets, and neon streaks the city in the onset of night.
10. and this dark soil (Fantastic Beasts: Gellert/Credence (Aurelius), Gellert/Albus) unhealthy relationships, manipulation
Grindelwald takes him to the darkling forests of Austria, over the jagged ranges of the alps, through valleys shrouded in the gossamers of fog, until at last they reach Nurmengard.
Alright. I love to start with descriptions most of the time, unless I start with sword or dick in hand, it seems. Crying at myself here.
Tagging @jamlocked @fraeuleinfriedhof @cilil @saintstars @curufiin @liesmyth @crackinthecup @theskeletonprior @seebestattung @sightetsound @killpilled and whoever else might wanna do it, just feel free to tag me! 💕
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rose-red-ink · 10 months ago
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New Perspective -- Panic! At the Disco
Constellations -- The Oh Hellos
Josslyn -- Chase Petra
----
Rey's is my new favorite of these web weaves, sorry Kylo! Josslyn just screams Star Wars women to me, I'd do a full video edit to that song if I have the skills.
This is a Rey web weave for my fic, Force Mandated Bottle Episode, a rewrite of the sequels fic. It's pretty serious, despite having a crack name, so I should probably rename it, huh? 🤣
Fic link
Fic memes
Web Weaving
Finn Kylo Ren Poe Reylo
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hux-and-gay · 3 months ago
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Kylux and Adjacent Art
—————————————————————————
Yes this gets its own post. I swear if I forgot anything I’m gonna cry.
Events:
Kylux Writing and Art event (ongoing)
NSFW prompt event (Cuming soon)
Kylux Switcheroo (Coming soon)
General Hux:
Me and my IRL as Kylo and Hux
Kylo and Hux’s eyeballs 👁️👁️
0 Context doodles
Hux hates the sun
Y/N gets bitch slapped by Hux
Kylo and Hux reflecting on their actions
Hux:
Hux Skating AU
Hux skating AU colored
Hux doodles
Hux in a dress (Post 1)(Post 2)
Blood Red Paint book cover/Hux in a skirt (Kylux Event)
Draw them in what you’re wearing challenge
Sunburnt Hux (Kylux Shorts fest)
Therapy
You’re trapped in an elevator challenge
Beat up blood covered Hux
Dishevled Hux inspired by Hux comic
Hux Angst
Child Trans Hux (and Brendol)
Trans Hux
Movie accurate Hux
an OC that’s def not based on Hux 👀
Vampire Hux (Huxloween)
Werewolf Hux
Hux wearing a turtleneck
Kylux:
Mermay drawing (do Not reblog I hate this one)
Kylo and Hux watching the stars (Kylux Event)
Nervous Proposal comic (Kylux Event/Kylux wedding)
Monster x Monster Hunter AU concept art (Kylux Event)
Silly Fan art for my fic
Warm embrace (my personal favorite)
Just two guys idk man
1939
Doodles from bio class
Romeo and Juliet AU
Movie night
Bead Bracelets
Modern AU Soft Kylux
Emperor Hux and his knight
post TROS recovery
Vampire Hux and his victim
Hux stops denying he’s in love (Huxloween)
Outsiders AU
Benarmie Halloween costumes (Huxloween)
Kylo:
Sad Kylo
NSFW:
Hux in lingerie
Scrapped concept art
The infamous crotch window
Twinkerbell
Bunny Boy Thomas McGregor
Bunny Boy Thomas extra spicy
Adjacent Characters/Ships:
Bill Weasley
Bill Weasley HC design
Happy Birthday Bill
Techie
Techie Sticker (100 followers event)
Modern AU Techie
—————————————————————————
Writing:
(Also can be found on my writing master list)
Grocery Stote Meet Cute
Kylux Proposal Cknclusion (Kylux wedding)
Bite the hand that feeds you
Kylux Summer Vacation crack fic (Kylux Shorts fest)
Till You Return (Kylux shorts fest)
Forever Destined (Kylux shorts fest)
Blood and Bramble Part 1 (Kylux shorts fest)
Love You Never and Always (Part 1: Never Love You)(Part 2: Always Love You) (Kylux shorts fest)
Crimson Rose (NSFW)
Faire l’amore (Crack fic, in French)
—————————————————————————
@fives-ren
@not-so-allegiant-general
@jaynesilver
@thegeneralorder
@diabollicallyangelic
@existing-sadly
@tomatette
@dragonflies-draw-flame
@lessdenied
@fridayincarnate
@huxkisser
@rommonoch
@bostarsky
@transmasc-vampire-is-tired
@misbon-god-of-mischief
@kira-mortham
@piecesofeden11
@vanta-nev00
@threewinterssnow
@theosb0rnway
@sh1r3
@blackberry-command-cap
@irrationalgame
@iphridian
@vitriolicia
@eggsodaz
@sluttycaseyjones
@lavendergarnet
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thesirenbanshee · 6 months ago
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Behold, “Chapter 15”! 😸
TITLE: A Force of a Different Color
RATING: Explicit
SUMMARY: 
“What is your favorite animal and your favorite color? Is it a lion, and purple? Or perhaps a porg, and blue? And, more importantly, what is your soulmate’s favorite animal and color? You’ll find out the answer when your soulmate is born . . . because you’ll suddenly shapeshift into whichever animal and color your soulmate loves best. Which can get really annoying really quickly, as ten-year-old Ben Solo learns one day when poof, he turns into a pink bunny.
Or, the crack-canonverse-shapeshifter-soulmate AU that makes, like, zero sense.”
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lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom · 10 months ago
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Request Guidelines
Hi guys! Yall have been so kind towards my writing, and now I'd love to hear your ideas! Request will be open or closed depending on how many I have, or how motivated I am to write. {REQUEST ARE CLOSED}
Request to fulfill until fully open- 6
I am always open to constructive criticism, or any comments, questions, concerns you might have!
While I am 18+, this blog is SFW.
When submitting a request, please include the character and a specific or vague plot description. I am also glad to do requests with only a theme for a character, but it will take me longer to post. (Such as fluff, angst, first kiss, ECT)
If you have any modifications after submitting (in a reasonable time frame) feel free to message me. If you prefer to stay anonymous, I will keep it that way! Trust me, it's more embarrassing to write fics than to read them. No judgment from me! 💞
Typically, I will fulfill requests in the order they are submitted. If your request breaks any of my 'Nos', (or is sent while request are closed) it will be deleted. Please respect my boundaries! Thank you!
Your request will be posted on Ao3 as well!
If you have any questions, just ask! I promise I don't bite 😜.
CHARACTERS
GOT
Cregan Stark Brandon Stark
Star Wars
Echo Hunter Tech Kylo Ren
Arcane
Silco
NO'S
Nsfw
Multiple characters
Bullet point imagines
Overly specific request (I will complete the ones already in my inbox)
Song lyric/music fics
Fake dating
Enemies to Lovers
Love triangle
Polygamy
Platonic, GN, or Male reader
Any hate on Omega
Blasphemy (of any kind, ask if you have a question)
Specific Reader traits (Such as height, weight, or skin color)
Any AU. Mostly modern AU's
Crack/super wild fics.
Actual Cheating
MY FAV'S (Do NOT feel like you need to add any of these in your request)
Established relationship
Fluff
Maternal reader
Domestic bliss
Babies! 🥰
Canon divergence
Room for creativity!!!!
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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year ago
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star wars masterlist
🍓 = fluff themes
❄️ = angst themes
🚧 = smut themes
🤸‍♀️ = slice of life / bish idek what theme this is
🚀 = crack fic themes
🎩 = dark and/or violent themes
🏩 = genre fic, i.e. mystery, horror, fantasy, etc
🍳 = slow burn
🦕 = personal favorite
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back to main masterlist
Atlas | 🍓❄️❄️🚧🚧🚧🦕 Kylo Ren x Reader
Charon | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️ Kylo Ren x Reader
The Supreme Empress | 🍓❄️🚧🚧🚧🎩🎩🍳🍳 Kylo Ren x Reader
Rebel | 🍓🍓🚧🚧🚧🎩🍳🍳🏩 Prince!Kylo Ren x Cage Fighter!Reader
Stupid Kid | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Kylo Ren x Reader
Say That Again l ❄️ Kylo Ren x Jedi!Reader
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