#First order on vacation
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Kylux Short Shorts Fest 2024; Day 1: Vacation
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Kylux Summer Vacation (Crack Fic)
this translates way better as a comic but comics take time. So i wrote more a script then a fic. maybe I’ll make a comic later or maybe some kind soul wants to waste their time doing it for me. I don’t really care anyway, not to toot my own horn, but this is really funny. I was thinking of the Lego Star Wars specials when I wrote this so picture that vibe. Hehehehehe
pls pls reblog! I dont have AO3 yet
Warning: Suggestive content, brief nudity (it’s played off as a joke)
Kylo: (announcing triumphantly, fist in the air) We’re going on vacation!
Hux: (sounds unfazed) What?
Kylo: (repeats previous gesture) We’re are going on vacation!
Hux: (no even looking up from his datapad) We’re in the middle of a war. We can’t just leave on vacation.
Kylo: My grandfather went on vacation…
(Teary eyed dreamily looking off into the distance picturing the scene from the Lego Star Wars summer vacation special where Vader is being forced to apply palpitate’s sun screen)
Hux: Oh so that’s what this is about. (Shakes his head) Predictable. Well we can’t.
Kylo: (Angrily/Whiny) Why!
Hux: I dont have time for this (Starts walking off)
Mitaka: (comes in, stopping him by the door) Sir… Did you authorize 30,000 credits worth of first order funds to be spent on (squints at his datapad) “Beach fun surprise?”
Hux: (looking up angrily) No! What even is that?!
Mitaka: (nods awkwardly) right I’ll cancel i-
Kylo: No! (Stepping forward) I authorized the purchase! (Turning to Hux dramatically) There’s no turning back now general! (Pointing to each person as he speaks) I’m taking you, and Phasma, and Mitaka, and… (points at a random dude walking by) THAT GUY, and we’re going on vacation!
That guy: Uhm sir I don’t even work here… I’m just visiting my wife…
Kylo: LETS GO! (Marching forward)
~Later at the beach~
Kylo: (walking up to Hux wearing his helmet and swim trunks that are definitely too small for him) Why are you wearing a shirt?
Hux: (eating a suspiciously shaped popsicle) Why aren’t you?
Kylo: (leans back) isn’t that like, constricting?
Hux: You’re just trying to get me to take my shirt off.
Kylo: What? No! (Clearly lying)
Phasma: (walking by) I’d take this off if I was allowed too (gesturing towards her sports bra style top)
(#free the nip)
(They both just blink at her stunned before she walks away and then they turn back to their arguing)
Kylo: I still think you should take it off (huffs)
Hux: Then take off your helmet! (Pokes it)
Kylo: (crosses his arms) I dont want sunburn!
Hux: The rest of you is practically naked!
Mitaka: (rushing up carrying way more than one man should carry) Sir?
Kylo: (not noticing Mitaka) I could arrange that! but I don’t think this is that kind of beach!
Mitaka: (trying to get Hux’s attention) Where did you want this sir? (Holding up all the stuff some of it falls out of his hands)
(Still not noticing Mitaka the two of them glare at each other and Hux menacingly bites off the tip of the popsicle which has now melted all over his hand)
~Seconds later~
Kylo: (pointing) oh look beach hockey!
Hux: (deadpan) No
Kylo: (Pointing) look there’s limbo!
Mitaka: (Still trying to get their attention) Sir this is kind of heavy…
Hux: (deadpan) No
Kylo: Live music? (Gestures to the stage, where, idk, the Cerveza Cristal meme is playing or something)
Hux: Too loud
Kylo: There’s a bar?
Hux: I suppose that’s fine
Mitaka: Sir?!
(They start walking to the bar where Phasma already is)
Mitaka: Why do I even bother (Sighs)
(Meanwhile at the bar. Kylo has his helmet off now. the group was drinking (Cerveza Cristal!… No! Stop! You already made that joke!) when they see familiar faces walk onto the beach)
Kylo: Well look who it is (smirks)
Phasma: The resistance scum (scoffs)
Hux: How convient, you’d think this was a Crack fic (looking directly at you)
Poe: (sauntering up) Hey Hugs
Hux: (immediately standing to go) That’s it we’re leaving! Vacation over!
Poe: (leaning on the counter) That’s a shame, we were just going to invite you all to a not so friendly game of beach volleyball. Right Finn? (nudges him)
Finn: uhhhh… right.
Poe: (whispers) Sound more confident
Finn: (Yells) Right! we’re gonna beat your asses into the sand bitches! (Whispering to Poe) Was that too much?
Kylo: Good luck trying. (Smirks standing up) It just so happens that… I don’t like sand~ (Turning to the others) Are the rest of you with me?
Mitaka: (panting running up) I Just put everything down sir!
Hux: (not noticing Mitaka again, setting his drink down) Well I suppose… if it’s a challenge (smirks)
Phasma: (cracking her knuckles) Oh I think it’s time they met the true power of the first order~
Poe: Good come meet us on the beach! (He gestures and runs off, Finn following, flipping them off as he goes. The others get up from the bar laughing and heading towards the beach)
Mitaka: (exasperated) Did I miss Something? —————————————————————————
(Look i could write out the volley ball match but I’m lazy so if someone wants to pick this up have at it)
~Later that day~
Kylo: (running down the beach to join Hux in the water) Wait for me!
(Hux’s shirt isn’t off but it’s open)
Hux: (standing in the water, raising an eyebrow) Do you even know how to swim
Kylo: Pfft, yeah totally!
Hux: That sounded oddly suspicious but if you say so (shrugs)
Kylo: (walking very slowly into the water) Yeah I definitely learned how to swim, that’s definitely something I did, I mean like, it’s easy, I’m not a pussy!
Mitaka: (standing beside Hux) Is it just me or does it sound like he’s trying to reassure himself instead of you?
Hux: (nonchalant) oh yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like.
Mitaka: If he can’t swim shouldn’t we stop him?
Hux: Let him try, it will amuse me (smirks)
(Kylo goes deeper in the water, even deeper than the two of them, probably to prove a point)
Kylo: I’m… I’m doing it! (A wave crashes into him) Fuck! I’m not doing it! (He starts flailing and splashing wildly even though where he is definitely isn’t that deep)
Mitaka: (looks concerned) Sir I believe he’s going under.
Hux: He’ll be fine.
Mitaka: I Really dont think he will be…
(long awkward scilence)
Hux: He’s drowning isn’t he?
Mitaka: It appears that way.
Hux: Ugh fine!
(He goes after him and Drags him out which is definitely a struggle)
Hux: (dragging him by his foot onto the beach) Why are You So fucking heavy?! (Looking up to Phasma who’s tanning on the Shore) Thank you so much for your help Phasma!
(Phasma Holds up a drink nodding to them)
Hux: (sets him down on the wet sand) Well he’s breathing (slaps him on the face)
Kylo: (coming to, spitting out ocean water) Hey! That wasn’t mouth to mouth… (looks down disappointed)
Hux: (sarcastically) Oh no! he stopped breathing guess I can’t save him!
Kylo: (glancing at himself) Oh! my shorts fell off in the water, and your kind of straddling me so- 😏
Hux: (glances down instinctively and quickly looks back up) Mitaka?
Mitaka: Yes sir?
Hux: Google if It it’s legal to feed someone to the sharks.
~The end~
That Guy: Has anyone seen my wife yet?
@lessdenied @fives-ren @jaynesilver @thegeneralorder @diabollicallyangelic
@existing-sadly
@theosb0rnway
@dragonflies-draw-flame @hpdmism @fridayincarnate @tomatette
@transmasc-vampire-is-tired
@bostarsky
@kyluxshortshorts
#Kylux Short Shorts 2024#kylux#huxlo#kylo ren#armitage hux#general hux#dopheld mitaka#captain phasma#poe dameron#finn star wars#crack fic#fan fic#Star Wars fan fic#sugestive#Kylo can’t swim#First order on vacation#lego star wars#Star wars summer vacation#writing#writing prompt#tumblr event
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Inspector Lunge in Ch. 96 and Eva Heinemann in Ch. 112
#monster 112#monster 96#Heinrich Lunge#eva heinemann#why is my jaw on the ground knowing they both did this.. but Lunge would usually order the coffee first anyways if he weren't on vacation#Idk they should have been a silly incompetent duo together it was such a missed opportunity#and then they find and unlikely friendship in each other 🥺🥺 even if Eva's a little harsh to him#i have a headcanon that she threw up on him at some point early in the series and he said absolutely nothing in response#naoki urasawa's monster#monster manga
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please help me i did so good with something that stressed me OUT and now i want to buy something from my wishlist so... poll time 🫶🏼
#second one is two times the price of the first one if that changed ur opinion#my pros and cons 1. pretty basic not very exciting but gorg and real leather all around 2. FUN....... statement piece. more expensive#also answer quickly i want to order today before i go to vacation
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My throaaaat hurts
#would have called out of work this morning but time off blackout because busy season#i can still miss work but i cant use vacation to cover it#and its a rent paycheck#and rent is. 100% of my rent paycheck. so. cant miss any pay on rent paychecks. not an option#i thought i had a fever all day because i would alternate between chills and getting super hot#like need to take off my shirt hot#but i couldnt find my thermometer#swung by the grocery store to buy a new one on the way home and it tells me im 94 degrees#sure jan#hopefully the act of having purchased a new one will make the old one turn up#i also tried to pick up caraway seed and lemon zest for caraway seed cake but the grocery store doesnt sell dried lemon peel anymore?#like at all?#and the only caraway seed option is gourmet organic and $10 for a 2oz jar#i would use a third of the jar for one batch#for reference the old brand that i bought i would use the whole jar and it cost $1.25#so uuuuuuh yeah im not paying that#especially since i looked it up and i can order mccormick caraway seed by the pound for less per oz than i was paying before lmfao#they also made it so that fennel seed is only available in the gourmet organic brand -- $8 for a 1.7oz jar#im not paying that either thats highway robbery prices#i might as well just buy the fancy italian sausage#which is why i started buying fennel seed in the first place. to add to ground pork to make it taste like italian sausage#i bet i can find a better option for that from a known company online too#i dont know what they were thinking doing away with the other brand#it was a local company and it offered lots of options at reasonable prices#now theyve got like. the most basic assortment#oregano. basil. cumin. cinnamon. thyme. rosemary. garlic powder#just as i was starting to experiment with more interesting spices too
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being drunk is so fcuking miserable. idk how anyone lives like this i'm fighting for my life trying to be normal right now
#FIGHTING for my LIFEEEEE3EEEEEEEE#im in the caribbean on vacation and i ordered smth other than water for once bc i expected it to be supremely watered down with#a single droplet of alcohol as per usual but my fucking GOD#that man gave me LIQUOR i felt like the first sip sanitized my entire digestive tract like sir youre teuing to kill me#i can't do this. awful awful awful and i already swam in some water to try to wake up but im still like this 😭 pray for me. sincerely#im not a drinker i start falling over after one drink I WAS NOT BUILT FOR THIS. I JUST WANTED JUICE 😭😭😭😭😭
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damn was replaying ieytd1 and Jared mason has gotten way more comfortable in the handler role it’s nice to hear
#i FINALLY beat hot water’s speedrun so I have ieytd3 100% lemme tell you I hate hot waters speed run#anyways me n my buddy realized we never 100%d one so we were playing through mostly squeaky clean until the headset died and like#there’s a million little things that’s like. idk fun to see now that they’ve got it figured out#favorite quality of life thing the mission tapes are in a reasonable order WHY ARE THEY ORGANIZED LIKENTHAT#WHY IS WINTER BREAK (mission. idk 4 or 3) IN THE FIRST SLOT#WHY ARE THE CREDITS IN THE MAIN SLOTS BUT MISSIONS 5 AND 6 ON THE TABLE. I CAN UNDERSTAND THE VACATION ONE JUST SITTING ON THE TABLE THAT W#BONUS WHO ORDERED THEESE#anyways. uhh squeaky clean Reginald is like “well. I think the sandwhich was good before you toasted it. picky ass bitch” and it’s like oh#look who’s talking mr i Like my frankfurters cooked to a specific degree#BUT ITS ALSO LIKE FUNNY LIKE! obv they didn’t have either of these one of jokes in mind while writing either of them! it’s fun and silly#ieytd#ashen.rambles#in da tags
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Shadow the hedgehog cartoon announcement sorry everyone im gonna hermit away four months in advanced so i can be optimally annoying when they talk about it
#not rgg#hes in my pfp this goes here. also because i say so#snap chats#no i AM posting this here idc im gonna throw up crying and screaming#little else can be done to make my week better like first i hang with my bestie and we’re gon hang again later this week#then a buncha shit i ordered a while back finally got shipped and now shadow cartoon announcement#theyre literally talking about it in JULY some may say im too excited too early but have you considered eating my shorts#im scared tho what if its mid#the promo post looks so good … he looks so cute 😭#heard the mates who worked on the rise tmnt cartoon are workin on this …. ouughghh i know im gonna throw up crying#they been doin good things for my boy as of late … ik it his year so No Shit but still …#anyway yeah im putting in my. idk LMAO years notice for rgg posting cause once this is out i will not shut up ever#at least for a week. bossman im scheduling a vacation month once this drops Whenever idk#ok bye i actually have rgg doodles planned but i gotta do comm stuff first fjWWOJDJS#all sega does is rot my brain like all i did yesterday with my bestie was play final fantasy and sonic#what an excellent tuesday i tell you … ok bye
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Follow me on instagram: disneybooknerd626
#disney#disney world#star wars#disney life#disney style#disney love#walt disney#disneyland#walt disney world#star wars nerd#nerd#galaxy’s edge#batuu#first order#disney Instagram#vacation
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Convinced Hux to let me book a trip to Batuu.
Told him I'd heard there was a faction of stormtroopers in Blackspire Outpost still so loyal to the First Order that they had a guy who dressed up as Kylo Ren come out to intimidate the locals a few times a day.
He said that he, as the current Supreme Leader, should be the first to visit, but I insisted a small, discreet scouting party should go. For his own safety, of course.
As the mostest loyalist member of the First Order, I would be honored to lead that party. Though Deej should also come, since she's a combat trooper and I'd obviously need a bodyguard.
I'd also need some credits for lodging, food, and anything else I may need to blend in. Obviously.
And he actually approved the trip! Even had the Finance Department get me a First Order credit card!
Still not sure if he's really that excited to find more loyal First Order remnants, or just wants to get me out of his hair for a week.
Either way, I'm getting a proper vacation soon!
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#kylo ren#general hux#dg-1994#first order#finance department#batuu#black spire outpost#vacation
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only 6 more days for 12th grade to officially finish and my exams to be over. perhaps jaeyunverse comeback with a long fic ????? 😳
#first order of business will be to finish that damn jeno fic#then i will work on one of the valentine’s event fics who’s masterlist i posted Last Year 💀#i will prob make a poll for that bc idk which one to write 😭 i have 4k for the heeseung one but i’m STUCK#i have 4k for the halloween special fic i started in 2021 ummmmm maybe i’ll buckle down on it too#THE ALICE IN BORDERLAND AU???? i have the entire plot but it is going to be So Long i just know it.#i hope i can finish my current wips before any other long fic ideas come to me 😭#i have to finish the stupid headcanon series too what was i thinking when i started it#IM TERRIBLE AT HEADCANONS#fffff i only have a few weeks of peace after boards 😭 i have to start grinding for my other exam in june once april starts#i hope i can be more active on this account and actually get some writing done bc ngl i have sm plans for the small vacation i’m getting#but i wanna be delusional too 🫡#also i have so many unfinished projects here sometimes i feel like abandoning this account completely#and this place is lowkey dead in terms of activity ngl 💀 i will have try to revive it#but then i remember that i put effort into building this blog so seeing it go to waste would be sad#plus i Really do not want to repost my fics for a third time ppl will call me crazy
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just finished reading delilah's statement, there was a lot of things in it that was either only tangentially related to the allegations or straight up unnecessary to put (in particular: putting in media references and cc metrics several times as flavor text, detailing the don turnt situation with no claims of whether or not permission was granted by the affected party, namedropping certain ccs who had nothing to do with the allegations, and putting the tweet and yearbook photo of one of the ppl who put forward that zam was a bully with no claims of whether or not permission was granted) which contributed a lot to the 47-page length
honestly so far what im getting is that there was a Lot of toxicity on multiple sides like not even just between zam and delilah
#tw abuse#there are multiple instances in particular that i wanted to get more context of#in particular how did zam go from telling delilah to khs to becoming her bestie??? and why did she call kab whos a 16 yo a worthless whore?#theres also several parts that made me think that her rep for jumping to conclusions isnt entirely unfounded#like you can excuse her mental state at the time for a lot of it but there are some that are just. where did you get that#i dont wanna reread the entire thing so ill just be citing that part at the end where she accused zam of not actually being in a bad mental#place and was just trying to manipulate her cause he was in vacation in nyc and was smiling in one of the pics is reaching#also hypocritical cause she was also in a bad mental place during twitchcon but was smiling happily in pics and videos#also dont like the fact that she put the yearbook photo there and the fact it was even posted publicly in the first place#it was probs for verification purposes but holy shit youre basically barely a step away from doxxing zam#apparently bormethius is putting out a statement so ill be waiting for that as well#fucken hell i get that delilah saw posting this publicly as necessary in order to get some kind of closure#but theres so many layers to this that airing this out to an uninvolved and contextless audience was only inevitably gonna make things wors#especially considering a lot of evidence has apparently been lost to deletion or the fact that they were done in vcs#but its too late for that now so i can only hope we get the full picture soon cause everybody involved looks so incredibly toxic#idk i just hope all parties involved will be able to move away from this and get better in the future#cause like theyre still young and immature man#(although the fact that theyre young and immature def contributed to how this even happened in the first place 💀)#with that being said#the drama channels are 100% in the wrong here#they like to present themselves as arbiters of truth but theyre nothing but glorified tabloids#allegations
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i love your blog! it's a great archive that imo deserves to be a bigger presence on swiftie tumblr.
Thank you!!! I spent months during quarantine making my own little Taylor video archive, and when I realized how loosely enforced tumblr's copyright rules are, I figured I could share my collection with the rest of the fandom! I'm so glad you like it!
#not a taylor video#look i have an ask#my first ask too! :D#i actually tried posting old performance videos (not in chronological order) on twitter first#but I got suspended for posting the Clear Channel performances when 🛴 released them on spotify without taylor's permission :(#fortunately tumblr's yet to take down my LWYMMD Perry the Platypus fancam so hopefully these videos are safe too!#also sorry this is super late#i was on vacation for a week and a half and then i went to the Friday and Sunday Gillette shows (10/10 btw) so I haven't been on my laptop#in a couple of weeks
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logging off for vacation! see you in a week. my queue has lots of posts atm and will probably keep going the entire time.
#tütensuppe#since i managed to sort my job stuff out i can go to denmark now!#once i start i wont be able to take vacation time for a while so this is kinda last chance for this year#when im back ill order the first few omniscient reader books im excite for that too#the covers and extra illustrations are gorgeous
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Busy busy at work today but in quite a fun way. 3 hours flew by WAHOO
#im on my first break and wiped out in the office chair LOL. ive been on bar all morning which is so rare#my boss has been on vacation and keeps being like !? how are you doing so alright its only been a month !! and im like#dont tell him I dont know the amount of shots or pumps anything gets I just wing it completely#txt#LOL. dont order a caramel macchiato from me ! I dont know whats in that.#I guess every time and every time I do a different amount and no ones said anything yet
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Patiently waiting for my copy of Emily Henry’s, Happy Place.
#it’s actually the copy I ordered for my friend#bc I will be waiting for it in paperback#but she said I can read it first#bookblr#novel#book#books#book lovers#quote#quotes#literature#womens fiction#emily henry#beach read#people we meet on vacation#romantic comedy#poppy and alex#happy place
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book successfully acquired!!!
#i was on vacation in this town for like 2 days#so on the first day i went to 2 different bookstores and neither of them had htn#so i ordered it at the second shop and they said i could pick it up the next day at 11#(hopefully)#so today i went and fortunately it was there and i paid for it and now i can read it#yayyy#tlt#personal post
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