#reylo crack

[thesirenbanshee]

Here’s an early Christmas present—“Chapter 18”! 🎁

TITLE: A Force of a Different Color

RATING: Explicit

SUMMARY: 

“What is your favorite animal and your favorite color? Is it a lion, and purple? Or perhaps a porg, and blue? And, more importantly, what is your soulmate’s favorite animal and color? You’ll find out the answer when your soulmate is born . . . because you’ll suddenly shapeshift into whichever animal and color your soulmate loves best. Which can get really annoying really quickly, as ten-year-old Ben Solo learns one day when poof, he turns into a pink bunny.

Or, the crack-canonverse-shapeshifter-soulmate AU that makes, like, zero sense.”

[rey-jake-therapist]

Awful marriage proposals, the hall of Shame

Darcy, first proposal to Elizabeth :

Insults her family, implies he's stupid to propose her, and basically says she's lucky he loves her despite the "inferiority of her birth". Lovely, I wonder why it didn't work...

2. Kylo Ren, proposal to Rey

Nothing says "true love" more than a man who starts his love confession by telling the girl he likes she's not worth shit "except for him" because her parents were losers who sold her for drinking money, right? Rey was totally crying of happiness. Sure.

3. Sauron, proposal to Galadriel

"Darling, if you don't marry me, your people will all die, darkness will cover the world and I'll tell everyone it was your fault"

Guys I'm not sure, but I think we've got a winner !

What a bunch of losers...

[eagna-eilis]

Star Wars Characters at a Family Wedding in Ireland

ANAKIN - Gets extremely nostalgic about his own wedding and makes his adult twin children groan in embarrassment. Is in such a good mood that he isn't even mad when Leia calls him a fascist for voting Fine Gael, and manages to give his grandson an effective pep talk.

PADMÉ - So resplendent that the bride is almost jealous but honestly how could you be upset with her she's just so nice. Gets giggly tipsy over dinner and waltzes with C3P0 afterwards. Touches up literally everyone's makeup for them throughout the night and does a better job than the actual makeup artist.

OBI-WAN - Waits til the night is winding down then magically locates a squeezebox, fiddle, a guitar, and a tin whistle and hands them out to start a sessiún. The sing-song goes on until 5am and it's all his fault. His signature song is 'The Lass of Aughrim' because it makes him feel all literary.

R2D2 - Has at least four too many double Jamesons and literally starts arguing with the wall. Shmii finds him passed out under a table the next morning, wherein he swears he's not drinking until Christmas.

C3P0 - Wrecks the heads of the hotel staff over dinner with all his requests, to the point of embarrassing the other people at his table. Conducts impromptu ballroom dancing lessons while the band plays and charms the pants off everyone with his patient explanations of how to foxtrot.

LANDO - Pulls out a deck of cards and starts a game of 21s in the corner. Absolutely swindles everyone. It's okay though because he puts his winnings behind the bar so nobody has to pay for their drinks after that.

AHSOKA - Brings enough weed to share with a chosen few, like an absolute queen. Ends up hanging out in the loo for ages rolling for herself, Sabine, Maz, Kanan, and eventually Ben. Despite her relative stillness and quiet, she enjoys the music more than basically anybody else and people will quote her fondly slagging Anakin over dinner for the next 20 years.

SABINE - Camera queen who tries to look like she isn't enjoying herself. Fools nobody because she keeps grinning and snort-laughing. Her photos are a thousand times better than the photographer's and are the ones that the couple use for their album.

HERA - Helps Leia gang up on Anakin about politics because goddamn it, Leia isn't wrong. Hands out isotonic powder sachets and paracetamols to everyone before they go up to bed. They're gonna need it.

EZRA - Gets so hyper after consuming so much 7up that Hera has to send him to bed before the DJ takes over from the band. Sneaks down later for the cocktail sausages.

DIN DJARIN - Couldn't get a babysitter so he's tucked up at home watching The Late Late and hate-tweeting it.

GROGU - fell asleep in front of The Late Late. Delighted when somebody brings wedding cake to the house the following day.

KANAN - Literally will not be at peace until the DJ plays Kenny Rodgers' 'The Gambler' because it's not a wedding without it. Once that's done he insists on 'Come On Eileen'. Somebody's gotta be the keeper of the flame of tradition, after all.

CHEWBACCA - Requests all the group dances. Rock the Boat, The Siege of Ennis, The Macarena, The Walls of Limerick, Chain Reaction. Bullies everyone into joining in, except Ben who is the absolute antithesis of craic.

LUKE - Every wedding requires at least one merrily drunk uncle and Luke does not disappoint. Suit jacket? Gone. Top buttons? Open. Tie? It's now around his head while he stands on a chair playing air guitar to 'Hotel California'. Ends up puking in a flower pot. Iconic.

LEIA - Would have been okay if she stuck to wine all night but a single gin and tonic on top of the shitty hotel merlot and suddenly she's having an hour-and-a-half political argument with Anakin. Embarrasses the hell out of her parents, brother, and son by smooching Han repeatedly while dancing.

HAN - Organises the pre-ceremony pints. His sotto-voce asides are funnier than anything in the speeches. Quietly sings along to 'Brown Eyed Girl' by Van Morrison in Leia's ear while they dance, prompting all that smooching.

FINN - Sneaks into the hotel's public bar to check the hurling scores on the telly then reports them back to all the lads. Keeps his wits about him regards alcohol so he can take care of Poe later but eats so much cake he feels sick.

POE - Holds court in the bar, telling long anecdotes about his life that are only 75% true. Dances and flirts with all the aunties and nanas and makes them feel great about themselves. It doesn't convince Ahsoka to give him a spliff, though, because she is immune to his charms.

ROSE - The boomers yell at her for getting the DJ to play 'Celtic Symphony' by the Wolfe Tones, but she calls them hypocrites who are oozing postcolonial shame. Anakin offers to adopt her because now she's the centre of the politics argument. Knocks it out of the park at the sing-song because she knows all the words to at least 20 rebel songs.

MAZ - The first to place her handbag down on the dancefloor so as to coax the other nanas onto the floor. Jovially flirts with every man over 18 and under 60 that isn't her blood relation. Asks Poe to marry her.

REY - Finishes at least three other people's dinners. Sings along very loudly to every song that the band AND the DJ plays. Can't dance at all but it doesn't stop her. Should probably check on Ben because she knows what he's like but decides that tonight he's his family's responsibility. Loses her entire shit when ABBA plays.

BEN - Zero craic, God help the poor craytur. Drinks brandy as an affectation and starts quoting James Joyce after four of them. Gets extremely mopey after brandy number six and ends up having a long heart to heart with his Grandda Ani. Cries then throws up. Auntie 'Soka gives him a joint to settle his tummy. Subsequently feels better and then knocks everyone's socks off singing 'Raglan Road'.

SHMII - Begs off the party at 10pm because she's 97 years old. Still makes sure that everybody takes their hangover down to breakfast the following morning for a Big Feed of rasher-sausage-and-pudding, and maybe hair of the dog if they're desperate.

[samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires]

Um

Crack ships ARE proships

Since....when? /genq

[affidecrystal]

One (Won) by CoraRiley

Tasked with saving the Galaxy, Rey and her ragtag team of Resistance companions faced insurmountable odds against Emperor Palpatine and his evil regime. That was, until, her Dream Guardian pierced through the veil to offer his help. Now knowing the truth of what he really is, will she push her fears aside and bind herself to him to ensure their victory?

Or what I like to call the Reylo/Baldur’s Gate 3 crack crossover no one asked for 😂😂😂. It’s a monster fucker one-shot for those that aren’t entirely into monster fucking. Intrigued? Want to give it a go? Click HERE to read the newest Reylo one-shot from Veteran Reylo Writer CoraRiley.

[mfshipbracket]

Can confirm one Reylo vote was bc this one right here could not bring themself to vote for Adam and Eve. Kudos for picking a good picture for them though.

yeah!! i won’t go publishin all of these unless ghost mod weighs in on em too but we got a few ppl saying the same :) completely fair and understandable reasons to not vote for them and y’all definitely aren’t alone in the anti-religion (read: christian) sentiment <3

and ya shout out to the ask requesting the use of good omens adam & eve . is it sacrilegious to say wowza! awooga! *eyes pop out with a boiiiing sound and turn into hearts*

THIS BEING SAID probably not gonna get too heated here in religious debating etc! bonus round is just for fun and a reward for having fun alongside us. say whatever u want in the tags tho i don’t care

[queenofcarrots]

After they defeat Palpatine and escape from Exegol together, Rey and Ben make their way to Dagobah. When Rey leaves Ben there to check in with the Resistance, something goes terribly wrong. Will their love survive?

✨Death and Reincarnation 💖Love conquers all 🔥Ben's a planet but they find a way

A Canon-Divergent Swamp Thing AU in which Ben becomes Dagobah and then he and Rey have sex aka PLANETLO

[elysianrey]

A true classic of the fandom 🥹❤️ @dustoftheancients

Recently re-read one of my favorite Reylo fanfics ’’A Collision of Stars’’ by dustoftheancients

Ypu can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5704957

[heaven-s-black-box]

Clean up- Reylo

Return to File- Event Masterlist

Recovery date: July 15th, 2022

Description: N/a

Notes: An entry from my 2022 research project into the universe of Star Wars. You can find the next entry here.

Word count: 359

Back to directory

“You come here often,” Rey grinned, leaning over the bench press Ben was using.

He took a deep breath as he set the bar back into place and tilted his head back to look at Rey.

“No, but my girlfriend does and I lost a bet.”

“Wooow, you really love me, don’t you.”

Ben sat up and Rey came around to stand in front of him, arms crossed.

The weight room was empty aside from them, it was the weird part of the morning where the early crowd had left and the later morning crowd had yet to arrive. The best part of the day according to Rey because almost all the equipment hadn’t been used yet. There’s just something nice about not having to triple check the equipment before use, she’d said when Ben had whined about going in so early. He had to agree there, the bench press hadn’t been sweaty or on some odd weight when he’d gone to use it.

“Look,” he placed his hands on her hips as she glared down at him playfully, “when I said loser gets to pick the next date, I didn’t expect you to wipe the floor with me.” Rey opened her mouth. “Yes, yes, I should’ve listened to Poe and Finn but you know I think they’d lose at hide and seek. I didn’t think just because you beat them you’d beat me.”

“Are you saying you have no faith in my skills as a driver?”

“I’m saying I’ve seen you try to drive a warthog, and a mongoose, and a ghost- really everything you drive usually ends up on its side, blown up, or over a cliff.”

“Okay, I’m just going to leave you here.”

Rey turned towards one of the doors, but not the door back to the changeroom where she’d just come from.

“No, come on! I’m kidding,” he called after her.

“The boxing ring is this way,” she said, turning towards him and pointing over her shoulder. “I’m going to warm up, I suggest you do the same. Of course, it’s not going to stop me from wiping the floor with you… again.”

[gleefullypolin]

My top 10 ships

I haven't done this in forever, and I was bored and didn't feel like working so.....felt like an appropriate thing to do instead.

My top 10 ships!

#1 Polin - Bridgerton

Did you really anticipate anyone else being at my top spot? Friends to lovers....Swoon! They have my heart, soul, and life. I literally love a girl who knows what she wants and a man who loves the fuck out of her like no other so this is like porn and comfort. Give me everything tonight and more!

#2 Captain Swan - OUAT

If you aren't going to give me friends to lovers, I'll move over to Enemies and find my kind because holy hot out of hell, there is nothing better than Captain Hook and his smolder winning over Emma Swan. Fuck that man can burn! Years after that show ended and I can still sit in them and ruminate and catch myself on fire.

#3 Clois - Smallville

There have been a lot of different Lois and Clark's out there, but none have been Erica Durance and Tom Welling. I've never been so happy and angry with a show in all my life. I used to wish so much against Lana Lang that I am embarrassed my own behavior. But I truly loved the banter and way these two brought these characters to live. It was marvelous.

#4 Reylo - Star Wars

Being a Reylo shipper was like being sentenced to death and hell all at the same time for many years. We were bullied, tortured, shat on, and then given everything we wanted in 30 seconds only for them to fucking KILL HIM after a sacrifice. I have never both smiled, cried, and then curled into a ball in a theater so quickly that I wanted to die before. Even my family ridiculed me. It was torture but I still live there. I still ship it and you cannot make me stop!!

#5 Fitzsimmons - Agents of Shield

The brilliant science couple put through so much that even they thought they were cursed. Pushed to find each other across time and space, kidnapped into a matrix, forced to fight one another, half the couple killed, duplicate versions of themselves, but champions of the hug, star crossed and so full of love. Friends to lovers, he fell first, she fell harder and GOD I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!

#6 Starpollo - Battlestar Galactica

A couple who knew how to tear out my heart, throw it to the ground, and then trample it with their feet to ashes. While Lee and Kara were not destined to end up together, they damn sure made it hard not to want them to find a way. They truly loved each other more than anyone they were with in the show, but guilt always found a way to fuck that up for them. God it hurt to love you two.

#7 Romanogers - Marvel Universe

Let's talk crack ships because oh how they break your heart. But it is glorious. This one is mine. I will forever love Nat and Steve and I will live in the space and time that they were on the road together living their lives without a banner. Because you can't tell me what they got up to! I refuse to believe you! But let's not talk about how it all ended because my heart still hurts and I don't like to talk about it!

#8 Finchel - Glee

Since I'm already ripping my heart out, let's go all the way with it. Finchel has always been that ship that tears my heart to shreds. I was all in from the characters to the actors and I'll never honestly get over it. I'll probably always bleed Finn and Rachel, Cory and Lea. And I'll never be able to talk about it to normal people. It was something I lived, breathed, and honestly part of me died with. So I think that's enough of that.

#9 Caryl - The Walking Dead

You can call this whatever it is, some say crack ship, I say...otherwise. It's my ship of ships for TWD. It's my coming home ship. Because that's what they are to each other. They are love. No one tell me otherwise, I live there, I love there. So do they. Deal with it.

#10 Roschel - Friends

Look, say what you want, but I stayed home on Thursday nights just to watch whether they would or wouldn't. Nothing grabbed me like these two. They were lobsters, they were on a break, I didn't give a fuck what it was, only that they had me in a chokehold and that's what I realized what shipping was. Because dammit, I wanted whatever feeling it was. And thus the 9 people above because the passion I sought. So bless it, they needed to be here.

And there you have it, my top 10 ships! Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to add your own :)

[thesirenbanshee]

Behold, “Chapter 15”! 😸

TITLE: A Force of a Different Color

RATING: Explicit

SUMMARY: 

“What is your favorite animal and your favorite color? Is it a lion, and purple? Or perhaps a porg, and blue? And, more importantly, what is your soulmate’s favorite animal and color? You’ll find out the answer when your soulmate is born . . . because you’ll suddenly shapeshift into whichever animal and color your soulmate loves best. Which can get really annoying really quickly, as ten-year-old Ben Solo learns one day when poof, he turns into a pink bunny.

Or, the crack-canonverse-shapeshifter-soulmate AU that makes, like, zero sense.”

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/750248437989113856/as-a-proshipper-reylo-is-my-worst-enemy-i-hate-it

i havent seen reylos calling it 'healthy' (not saying it didn't happen at all just that it's not nearly that common, at least not in the reylo circles i frequent), but what i have seen that was hilarious is anidala shippers calling reylo 'domestic abuse' (and therefore bad to ship) without the slightest hint of irony.

like, there are lots of things you could say about rey and kylo's dynamic! 'domestic abuse' is not one of them, particularly not when you ship the pairing where a man force-choked his pregnant wife right there on screen lol and the funny thing is that reylo is about as vanilla as it is possible for enemies-to-lovers to get without descending into kids show territory. the writing in the movies, especially the third, is bad, but their actual dynamic is........he kidnaps her, they have a power struggle where she manages to overpower him and escape, and then they have a bunch of lightsaber fights and are on more or less equal footing the entire rest of their shared screen time in the sequels.

and there is ample foundation for AUs where they could have had a much healthier dynamic, since 'ben solo' AUs are easy fruit to pluck! of course, you could also make them SO much worse, and that's my personal preference.

--

It always cracks me up when fandoms think that enemies fighting each other while not being in a relationship (or not yet) are somehow domestic abuse. They aren't even abuse, but they sure as fuck aren't domestic.

[thecryptkeeper]

im drunk sorry for upcoming rant but i really cannot stand the booktok ppl acting stuck in this idea that reading is this thing thatll be seen as weird like no you’re not like your y/n protagonist bc you only want to consume stuff that reminds you of your wattpad days but this time its printed out i had a friend who acted like she was soooo niche for the way she was interested in reading shes sooo different from her other friends who read bc she was reading the fucking printed reylo fanfic shut upppp ill crack all the spines in your books and highlight and make notes in the margins!!!

[gerardpilled]

someone reposted that fanfic post on twitter and all the replies and quotes are saying I’m a bitter jealous hater who is mad the reylos cracked the publishing code LMFAOO

[freedfromthegalactichivemind]

Ok as someone with passing knowledge of She-Ra calling Entrapdak the Reylo does not. make it sound good unless you mean people THOUGHT it was like Reylo

I mean the latter. What I mean is people hating the ship so much that the fury broke fandom-containment and it all looked weird to the people not in the fandom, regardless of how poorly thought out this enemies to lovers thing...was? I mean, over in Trigun fandom, I LOATHE "Plantcest" - (sometimes called "KV") - it's a twin bother incest ship. I don't write essays about it or try to get people to stop shipping it or pretend that people are bad people for having what I think is a weird fiction-kink. I just... block tag and ignore. If you only have passing knowledge of Spop, here's the skinny: Entrapdak is basically a villain-ship. It's a pair of villains who respect each other and admire each other's work cackling it up as mad scientists, basically. It's not a hero loves villain thing - not even trying. The native fandom LOVES to compare it to Gomez and Morticia from The Addams Family. They are a pair of morally-dubious weirdos (and family! If you count Entrapta's robot that she built and Hordak's little clone-baby failed-experiment spy). Princess Entrapta starts out with the Good Guys (TM) until an accident happens and she's left for dead in the Fright Zone. She becomes enamored with the advanced technology of the Horde, as she a Chaotic Neutral type more interested in SCIENCE! than ethics. She mistakenly thinks that her friends didn't want her anymore and abandoned her on purpose, so she might as well make new friends in a new environment. By happenstance, she winds up meeting the Horde's mysterious Dark Lord Leader in THE most hilarious "Pinky and the Brain" moment and they decide to SCIENCE! together. And then Big Bad Dark Lord Hordak slowly shows his vulnerabilities and essentially becomes humanised to the audience. He's evil, but he's not pure evil. He has some interesting motivations, and in many ways is the victim of where he comes from. And then the Big Bad Ultra-Villain Horde Prime, who is made of Bastard comes in. (No one likes him. All shipping with hims in the fandom is essentially people's weird kinks with OCs or straight up crack).

[celestialblueboy]

Aziacrow + Reylo ☀️🌑

I’ve realized my two favorite ships match

Also the idea of Crowley and Aziraphale in the Star Wars universe is cracking me up. Imagine Aziraphale and C-3PO interacting. DT is in Star Wars. It’s Michael’s turn.