#kristen frustrates me sometimes

[jq37]

Of COURSE Kristen--who is so scattered but an absolute rock where it counts, who described her role in the family vis a vis her brothers as being "like a shield", who gave Lydia the Help action without thinking to ease her years long, chronic curse just a little bit--rolled a Nat 20 to fully remove the curse at the first opportunity. Of course she did. This was never gonna go any other way.

[heliza24]

Being a physically disabled Dimension 20 fan breaks my heart sometimes

I’ve been thinking about this since last Wednesday’s episode when we finally got a real scene with Lydia, one of the few physically disabled characters in the entire canon of the show. It was nice, but it was really just a lore dump. An excuse for exposition. A moment for Kristen to look good by expending sympathy/pity. (I’m a little frustrated about how that interaction went down. Extending the help action was nice but patronizingly touching the neck of a full-ass adult without consent was not. It was weird and not something she would have done to a nondisabled character).

I have watched almost all of D20 (still missing a couple of seasons) and as far as I know here’s where our list of canon physically disabled characters stand: Lydia Barkrock, Jan de la Vega (who feels pretty problematic to me, maybe more on that in a later post), one of the Dwarven statues in the temple in The Seven (who is not given the dignity of being brought to life like Asha), and Pete’s coworker in TUC2 who is in exactly one episode and is so unimportant I have forgotten his name. I guess you could make an argument that Gunny is disabled, but I don't feel that Lou or Brennan really talk about him or play him through that lens. So in terms of canon physically disabled PCs-- that leaves us with 0.

We do a bit better with neurodivergent characters and characters with mental health problems; Ayda (my beloved) is very well developed and Adaine is a PC. There have been some openly neurodivergent players, like Omar and Surena, whose characters also read ND to me. But that isn’t labeled or discussed in canon, so it's hard for me to know where to class that. I am going to focus the rest of this post on physical disabilities, since that is my area of lived experience. If another fan wants to write about their perspective of neurodivergence rep in the show, I would love to hear that, and will happily amplify.

There has never been a character with a sensory disability or a limb difference or a chronic illness (not a fantasy one, a real one) on Dimension 20. The only NPCs we have are nondescript, similar wheelchair users. And there has never been a physically disabled player at the table. On the flagship show of Dropout, a company founded on diversity and inclusion. It feels extremely pointed to me.

In fact as far as I can tell there has only been one (1) physically disabled performer on any of Dropout’s shows. (Shout out to Brett, you were great on Dirty Laundry.) Obviously I haven’t seen every episode of everything they have produced. If I have missed someone, please do let me know in the comments/reblogs. But it’s a problem. And Sam Reich even agreed with this criticism when I asked him directly about.

I do really hope they’re working on it, as Sam says. But why has it taken so long?

Dimension 20 has had trans and nonbinary and queer players. It has had players of many different races. I’m not saying that the diversity here is perfect; there should always be more POC in the dome, more queer people. We should keep pushing for that. (And we should also push for performers at the intersections of these identities!) But we’ve seen the ways this diversity has expanded and improved the different seasons, because diverse players create sensitively drawn, diverse player characters. They add details to their PC’s experiences that make them feel rich and alive. I’m thinking about each of Ally’s PC’s incredible capital G gender and Aabria “all my characters (even the stoats) are Black” and how excellent they all are. D20 would not be the show it is without this input.

And yet. And yet.

There are 1,000 interesting and complicated themes to explore around disability. Dealing with access. Dealing with ableism. Dealing with compassion and community care. Dealing with none of it and just being a cool fantasy or sci fi character that happens to be disabled. We don’t get any of it.

I watch my favorite show and I see myself in the ace rep and the female characters. But I don’t see all of me. I see a silent but ever present message: you aren’t quite welcome here.

I have this fantasy that I play in my brain sometimes that someday I’ll get to talk to Brennan in person, like maybe if I buy a VIP ticket and risk Covid to go to a live show or we run into each other on the street or something. I am able to look him in the eye and articulate why he NEEDS to include a physically disabled player in an upcoming season. I reference the ways he’s talked about inclusion and writing diversely on Adventuring Party. Maybe I hand him a handwritten letter, or hell, a printout of this post. And because he really cares about diversity and his shows and his fans he would listen to me, and cast a physically disabled performer in the next season.

But I think that might be giving that nondisabled man (whose work I adore, who I respect so much) too much credit. Because he’s had Jennifer Kretchmer, a physically disabled actual play performer, on adventuring academy to talk about access in gaming. He’s hired disability consultants. He knows about physically disabled people, enough to give us shoutouts as inconsequential npcs. And he still hasn’t thought to include us at the table. In over 20 seasons. None of that other stuff matters if we aren't given a seat at the story telling table, and the agency to craft our own narratives equal to other participants in the game.

When Lydia was telling her story in the last episode, I kept wishing for a prequel, where she is more than a plot delivery device and a kind but unimportant parent. I want to know about her adventures with her adventuring party. I want to see a talented, wheelchair-using actor play out the scene when she decides to put the gem in her chest. I want to hear about what happened after. I want to know how she survived. I want it so badly it hurts.

I am in the process of trying to find new indie actual plays that feature more disabled talent. I am learning how to GM myself so I can tell these kinds of stories. But it’s not the same as being a fan of something. Sometimes I don’t want to have to make my own representation. Sometimes I just want to turn on my favorite tv show, the one that I have cosplayed from and written metas about and loved whole heartedly, and see myself included.

If you’re another disabled or neurodivergent fan I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re not, I’d love for you to reblog this. I would love for the absence of physical disability in this show to be a topic of fandom conversation, at the very least.

[antlerqueer]

Who are your favorite Yellowjackets and why?

I have so much to sayyyyyy! Sorry this took me so long to answer, anon, I was using my laptop to play The Sims and any reply I do longer than a sentence I prefer to do on my laptop.

Shauna & Taissa. My favorite normal women ever!! I love that they are both very selfish in ways that harm their families for the sake of Normal Woman Performance. (Btw, neither of them are getting awards for their performances.) Shauna and Tai both have equal and opposite expressions of their behaviors, with Shauna shrinking herself so much to be invisible and Taissa making herself so visible even to the detriment of herself, her family, and her former teammates. Where Shauna must have felt small coming back from the Wilderness and showed it by truly fitting herself into the life she expected from Jackie, Taissa felt like she had to push forward and fit herself into the life she expected of herself. And after what happened to them... those were tough squeezes. As teens, they also are so similar and lean on each other which I love to see.

They're both dependable, they're both strong, and they both want the best for the people they love. However, they both have very determined inner selves that they're fighting. Shauna's impulses that shift from fucking Jeff to eating slices of Jackie to taking a lover and then whoops killing him, and Taissa's Other Tai situation are gnawing at them. These are turmoils they fear telling anyone about not just because of the wilderness but because they expose their raw nerves.

Adult Misty. I prefer adult!Misty to teen!Misty because I think adult!Misty has honed her skills. teen!Misty cleans up her accidents, adult!Misty isn't leaving any mess behind. She's got a lot more confidence as an adult, and she seems proud of what happened out there. Like when she's talking in their circle "remember that first summer..." and Van's like what is this, fucking summer camp? That's so interesting to me!! teen!Misty we're seeing process everything in real time, which while I understand her motivations/etc and know she's a silly teenager I get frustrated with sometimes. Like part of me is like damn, Crystal/Kristen literally would have forgiven you, but I get your situation.

Teen Natalie. Love to watch her unravel. Love to see it. Love to see her go from being a level-headed person who was already on high alert before the crash so she's operating Par For Course to not being able to handle it anymore. She's so Good, and the wilderness/their situation is truly dragging her for a test run. Ironically, her being so Good is what frustrates me about adult!Natalie. She feels bad when she's supposed to, she's careful when she needs to be, she's saved when she does 3 whole reckless things, and the only thing fighting her is her reputation/people's perception of her. Which, I mean, she could just... not associate with Shauna and Tai who are judgmental of her. Well, that and the trauma, which she was even starting to address and work on as she maintained sobriety. That just wasn't interesting to me.

Van. The unkillable lesbian. The fireproof butch. Lottie's first acolyte. My beloved. Trapped in the 90s, can't wait to see more about adult!Van because we know she had to be some sort of adultified as a teen (we see her having to "parent" her mother in the pilot, so that's one of the things established early on) and now she's stunted due to the plane crash trauma.

Anyway this was probably much longer than necessary but!! ENJOY.

[utilitycaster]

Hi, first religion anon (NOT the same as the second religion anon). My main complaints are with TUC (mostly s1 but the ‘Jesus is real’ thing in s2 really bothered me) and the way that Laudna and a few other characters engage with the gods on CR. I have 0 complaints with Sam, I think his engagements with religion as both Scanlan and FCG are fascinating. I think things like ACOC and Kristen on D20 are done fine, but when they move outside of Christian allegories they tend to stumble. I know Brennan and Ally have philosophy backgrounds and Emily has a religious studies background, but frankly I’m not super confident in American universities’ ability to make people deconstruct Christian hegemony, and things like Emily using the phrase “Judeo-Christian” aren’t super encouraging to me.

thanks for clarifying, I was wondering about the second anon bc I was like "the first anon came in being fairly normal even if I don't agree and this feels...bad and also just a hunch but it feels like it's coming from a Cultural Christian who is not American. (also I did get your follow up question and I want to answer that one separately bc I think it's a good but separate point).

I know it's not terribly popular to say but being weird about the term "Judeo-Christian" feels like one of those things that Jumblr and other people in Jewish Millennial/Gen Z spaces online made a big deal about and I'm like "uhhhhh this was a thing my actual Jewish middle school teachers said sometimes; it's not the best term, no, but it was the go-to term in a lot of contexts until quite recently to the point that yeah, Emily going to school in the 2000s would probably hear it even from Jewish profs, and so it's not so much a red flag as a sign that she graduated before 2010."

I also honestly don't mind Jesus being real in TUC 2; at some point if you've decided all other mythology is real why not Christian religion. It feels, in a way, far more Christian-centric to treat Christianity as something that cannot be incorporated, as too real, as compared to say, Norse or Greek myths or Golems.

I will say that I agree that Ally and Marisha do tend to be a bit more limited in how they engage; I actually don't mind Laudna's frustrations with the gods from a "I think this comes from Marisha's personal feelings" perspective more so than a "could we...actually explore this as a throughline rather than a bunch of random-ass statements." I do think that Ally does tend to pull from their own experience; understandably so, but yes, it's very different than my experience as someone not raised Christian let alone strictly so.

I guess, and this might just be difficult to do as an anon ask thing, that I am looking at this very holistically. I am looking far more at what the GM is doing than an individual player, and I haven't had issues with Matt, Brennan, Murph, or Aabria's portrayal of divine forces. I find that Worlds Beyond Number has been explicitly very not Christian (and indeed, heavily influenced by Shintoism and pre-Christian Irish religion) in how the spirits are portrayed, and while I think Matt does tend to draw a lot from Catholic architecture and imagery and vibes, the way the gods engage with the players does not feel exclusively Christian (notably in Campaign 2; none of Fjord, Caduceus, Yasha, nor Jester's experience feel inherently cultural Christian beyond the fact that Travis mentions he doesn't feel like he can connect with the Luxon because 'it's a shape'). So it means I'm not looking to Ally for example for an exploration of religion that is as accessible to me, but I do find that actual play on the whole feels fine. I find a lot of the claims do feel like they get really hung up on specific details (eg: the Santa jokes in Chetney's backstory) instead of the overall feeling (eg: the fact that many of the deities have a very open, fluid, and at times intellectual form of engagement; the fact that the general message is that suffering is not purifying but rather simply sucks; Melora death domain traditions and especially Caduceus's philosophy which is very much outside American Protestantism; the polytheistic society of Vasselheim.)

[papabearbobbynash]

Okay, I appreciate you suggesting that the couch is going to be a letdown - and you were brave to do so where the couch theory reigns supreme here, LOL - because I think it will, too. And can I just emphasize why I find the couch discussion so frustrating???

Here's what OS said after 6x11:

"STARK: I love that the fans have picked up on the symbolism of the couch. Buck is attached to this symbolism of couches being related to relationships, and that's not something that's actually going away anytime soon. Up until Buck's very last scene of the season, we'll see that symbolism at play."

So we can guess that Buck's very last scene is him on a new couch that he picked out, at peace and ease with himself, showing that he's content with NOT being in a relationship, right? (Because I really don't think that he's going to end up with Natalia).

Then what exactly was the point of him in the armchair after 6x1? Because OS said this to Variety in a post-episode interview:

"I think that whole couch/armchair thing becomes such a symbol for him in this episode. And by the end of it, choosing to not go buy a new couch, but being happiest and accepting of just having an armchair, shows that it’s a one-person seat; that he’s making peace with the fact that he’s going to be by himself for a little bit, and that he needs to be by himself for a little bit. Speaking with Kristen, a big thing for her has always been the fact that Buck chose to end his prior relationship, something that we’ve never seen before. He’s always been the one to be broken up with. So I think the two things kind of feed into each other, that he’s made this decision for himself and now he has to continue down that path and find out, without somebody else’s input, who he is in the world."

He also said this to EW:

"The season 6 premiere ends with Buck deciding not to get a new couch to replace the one Taylor took with her, but rather move his chair in its place. "There's some symbolism in the sense of it is a one-person seating situation," acknowledges Stark, who explains that they filmed that moment a few different ways: "We discussed whether or not he was dragging that chair over, or if it was going to be picked up and put down, and the differences that implied. In the end, they went with the picking up because it's a much stronger, 'This is my life now.' And then same thing once I sat down, we played it where it's just like, 'doom and gloom is ahead of me' or a little smile creeping across his face and 'I'm ready to do this.' And I'm glad that's the option they went with. I think it's much more hopeful and that he is he's ready to take on this challenge of becoming his own man."

I think he said something similar after 6x1 in another interview, but I can't find it.

Anyway, ending with him on a new couch that he bought for himself...being happy...that is quite literally, according to these interviews, essentially a repeat of where he was after 6x1, isn't it??? The same type of scene and the same message, that he's a-okay being on his own. WHAT.WAS.THE.POINT? If they had shown Natalia on the couch (from his mom) or made a bigger deal of her...okay, maybe, but they didn't!!!

Sorry, I'm not screaming at you 🤣 and I know you share my frustrations. It just makes me wonder if there was some type of rewrite of Buck's story?? Or is OS just...saying random things? Because it just doesn't make sense! I'm not even talking about the Buddie of it all - though I think it would be great if it's about them - but more that I do NOT understand what they are doing with Buck's character. Go around in circles with no real growth or purpose. It has made him very frustrating to watch at times. BLAH!

Thanks for letting me vent ❤️

Hello anon, first of all, thank you for sharing this with me.

I do also sometimes need to vent about this show, so I'm glad you could do it with me.

So, going straight to the point. By Oliver's interviews, what I see is that there is a biggest indication the whole point of the couch theory was Buck realizing he is okay in not being on a relationship (since the couch is supposed to be a metaphor to his romantic life).

The couch theory, by my interpretation, was always about how Buck has to come in terms in feeling enough by himself.

If I'm not wrong, this metaphor had it's introduction when Buck was talking with the Diaz boys about the whole Interim Captain road. Sure, Chris was the one to first point out Buck didn't have a couch, but this was straight up after Buck says he struggled to understand what the other candidates for the Interim Captain position had that he didn't. The scene follows as Buck is the one to make the lack of couch about his romantic life when mentioning his girlfriends and how he didn't want to chose the wrong one, however Eddie does link this behavior as something relevant on why Bobby wouldn't consider him in the position for Interim Captain. The scene ended there, and then the lack of couch is brought again on a conversation with Bobby and it's when the whole journey to "be a ease" starts.

My point is the one who made this into a metaphor for his romantic life was Buck, but it's roots seems to be deeper. The roots were on how he was feeling he wasn't worthy, he wasn't enough, on how he was trying to prove something to someone.

I don't think It was ever about chose the right person Eddie to be on a relationship, but him realizing he is worthy, that he enough, that it's okay to be alone for a bit, that he doesn't need someone else to be complete.

And this notion makes sense with how his character did walk in this season. The first consequent arc after this was the sperm donation, where Buck is trying to make something meaningful to someone. The second is his realization in his coma, where he doesn't need to be seen by his parents (because he already has a family). There is where we see the couch bought by his mom, one that he accpeted, but he isn't quite sure comfortable with it, which is the perfect definition of how his relationships with his parents are now. He accepted, but it's not like it solved the problem.

Then the third point comes with him trying to pursue a relationship with Natalia as he does feel "she sees him", then we have the cemetery talk. Buck says he is different, that he is changed I kinda don't see it, which is an issue I have with the writing, but that is not the point here and he is trying to act and be the same old Buck for the sake of everyone else, meanwhile Eddie says "he doesn't have to be anyone, to anybody". This does ties with Buck's needs of trying to be worthy, this does ties with Buck trying "to be seen".

My issue with this season has been mostly about Buck tbh, because in certain ways I can see where this is going, but I don't think it needed him walking in circles for it.I think by the beginning of the season I said something around "I hope it's not the same cycle of people putting their expectations on the Buddie of it all, to not be about Buddie at all and then there is an entire hate train on the show because these expectations weren't met"

My original post was mostly about how the discussions I'm seeing made this theory way too convoluted for the quality of the writing we're receiving in this season. Like how can I expect such a brilliant work with a metaphor leading to Buddie if the writing for both of them this season is underwhelming? Buck? Overexposed and walking in circles. Eddie? Underexposed and barely existed in the season. By the way they were written this season I don't believe that it would honor a pay off leading to Buddie.

The couch theory surely does fit with the Buddie of it all, however I am not putting my expectations on it being about the ship, but being about Buck, and only Buck, to be him finally realizing he is worthy and enough by his own, making the way he walked in circles this season means something at least.

[thewomanintheshadow]

My biggest obstacle in life

I have to confess I have a problem. I don't know if it's a lack of discipline or just a compulsive behaviour that I can't control it but it's a big problem for me. It's like a cycle and even though sometimes I manage to fight it, other times I just give in to it.....Mental Cravings. I have been binge eating for the past 17 years of my life.

Growing up, I had a very loving mother who cooked delicious food for the whole family. The last memories I have of being skinny was when I was about 5-6 years old. I remember afterwards, I started gaining wait consistently.

Weight has always been discussed in my family and even from a very young age everybody would comment on how perfect I was in every way except when it came to my body weight. My mom had issues with her pregnancies when she was younger and after her last pregnancy she gained a massive amount of weight. I knew that she was struggling and it did affect her confidence since she used to be very beautify and quite the skinny looking model in her early 20s before she started having children. However, after gaining weight, I feel like she lost the confidence she used to have and to an extent she projected that on to me. My mother consistently reminded me of how awful it is to be fat and that it's very important for a girl to be thin because that way you are the most beautiful and the most successful woman. I mean.....even till this day I do agree with her and she was always right but at the time hearing her say that consistently was so annoying. She would consistently compare me to my skinny cousins or celebrities or actresses in American movies and would make comments such as "you are so much beautiful than them, they are only pretty because they are skinny".

Food had always been an issue for me since the beginning of my teenage hood and as far as I can remember I have laid on my pillow every night and thought about how I was gonna wake up and "go on a diet" the next day. Back in the early 2000s, the skinny models on Tv were the ideal beauty goddesses. Sometimes, these beautiful models and actresses were interviewed on their diet and would make comments such as "I only eat salads" or "I only eat one banana till the evening" or "I diet until I have lost all the weight". My mom would hear these and would look at me and say "see, these people don't eat as much, thats why they are so skinny". My father was the worst because he would consistently make comments about my body and how I should be eating less or lose weight. I always knew that they were just trying to help me but I think that was the beginning of my yoyo dieting journey.

Yoyo dieting started for me at an early stage of life. I would watch these beautiful girls in the movies such as Kristen Stewarts and Nina Dobrev and just fantasize about having their bodies. I would actually fantasize and visualize looking like a girl who had an hour glass figure and long straight blow-blowdryed soft hair. My hair was black, short and curly and I did not appreciate it. That was also the beginning of social media when my dad brought a laptop home and introduced me to the world of internet back in early 2010s. I quickly became introduced to the world of YouTube and started searching for videos such as "How to lose weight fast" to see if I could find a solution to my big problem. Deep down I was so tired and frustrated and just hated my body. I noticed from a very young age that my hips was much wider than the typically beautiful hour glass figure. Later I found out that I had an apple shaped figure.

Eventually after years of yoyo dieting, occasionally going to bed hungry not having dinner because "feeling full = feeling fatness" I developed a bigger problem with food and my habits in general. When I started exercising, I developed a huge unrealistic expectation that I was going to become skinning just within a matter of 2 months. Spoiler alert! it did not work like that. Even though I was exercising, I was still eating high calorie foods that where not "processed" or "fast food" but still did not help me lose weight. I became more and more frustrated and more desperate with time. I would concisely diet for weeks, and then binge eat and fall into my previous habits. This habits carried on for years. I thinking the last time I was 55 kgs was when I was in fourth grade where I was disgusting weight with a girl my age and she said "I weight 45 kgs " and I said "me too". Later I found out that I actually weighed 10 kilos extra than what she weighed. I started losing more and more confidence and I need that affected my ability to connect with people or having any true socializing skills. I hid myself in my room and started watching YouTube videos as my form of coping mechanism. I didn't even want to study anymore because I lost all motivation. I was also living in country/city at that time where if I wanted to go to the park, my mom had to drive 40 minutes until we reached the park. I could not even go outside and play by myself in the streets because it was not appropriate for a girl nor was it safe. If I wanted to go jogging outside, cars would actually stop and people would harass/talk to you. So....my life became YouTube. My screen time increased and I spent hours on my desk trying to fantasize about a world I did not have access to at the time.

[remidyal]

Snippet - Dig Out Followup

I shared this follow up to Dig Out on Discord a bit back but figured I'd toss it up here so it'll exist in a semi-permanent state! If you haven't read the original story, it's available on AO3 here. I'm on vacation this week so not getting much writing done, but hopefully some little odds and ends will tide people over before the norm resumes next week!

Jawbone O'Shaughnessey laid on the bed late at night in his otherwise empty motel room in Bastion City, the television on but unwatched, reviewing some of the reading for the conference he was in the city for when his crystal rang. The tone let him know it was his (remaining) daughter calling.

He'd given her her own ringtone the first time he'd had to do a work trip After; she'd still been unspeaking, at that point, but she'd called twice and he'd spoke to her anyways, one-sided conversations that were far more about trying to ground her than anything else. He would not risk missing a call from her, not even now. She wouldn't make it if she didn't need to hear him.

So, the ache as always of missing home in the back of his head, he took the call. "Hey, Aelwyn!" He said, forced cheer in his voice in spite of the hour; she hadn't woken him, and she'd feel less guilty after if she knew that.

The tone wasn't what he expected, but Aelwyn had been doing better lately. She had almost a fevered energy as she spoke, though, something he had sometimes heard from her Before but not since.

"Hey, Dad. Um. Is there any way you can get home, as soon as possible? I can teleport you back, if you need even, but…" It was a request he might have expected a few months ago, but he'd thought she'd be okay this week; Ragh and Kristen were both in the manor, for one, and Ragh in particular was pretty protective of her. Aelwyn could only teleport once a day, Jawbone knew from a lot of prior planning.

"I can, if you really need me to." He said, because of course he could, but honesty would be important too. "Do you? It might be the morning before I can get a train, but I can be there in a few hours if I drive. Will you be okay until I can get there?"

The call, in voice only until that moment, changed over to video; Aelwyn was standing in the dining room, of all places, in pajamas. In spite of the energy in her voice, she seemed almost flustered as she spoke; clearly, SOMETHING had happened. "I.. oh, this is harder to explain than I thought it would be. It's a good thing, I think. I'm sure, really…" She started muttering to herself, looking at something off screen.

Jawbone cut in, because she seemed almost ready to fold in on herself. "Aelwyn, breath in for me, okay?" She did, and her eyes flicked back.

"…I would teleport there to get you faster myself, but I don't want to leave for four hours to rest. We can talk about how and.. I think it's a good thing, and maybe we can make it permanent, but.."

"Aelwyn," Jawbone said, frustration starting to seep in just a little. "Please, can you tell me why you called?"

"Ah. Right. You'll want to be here." Aelwyn said, before tipping the camera around, and…

Three figures were sitting on the kitchen floor. Kristen and Ragh were both also in their nightwear, but the last took him a moment longer to recognize than he would have thought possible. In his defense, she was covered head to toe in dirt, her hair matted, her eyes sunken, but.. she was wearing a jacket he should have recognized instantly, because he had seen her wearing it for years. They had buried her in it; there had never been even the least bit of question that they would, once they had to bury her at all.

"Aelwyn, what..?" He said, wonder and terror in equal measures getting into his voice, because there were little signs of decay on her face, but she was also clearly speaking to Ragh.

"I know." Aelwyn's voice said off camera, and he understood her strange mood much more now. "I'll see you soon, to try to explain?"

"Of course." Jawbone said, watching Adaine move on camera for as long as the call lasted even as he was up and packing to go home to both of his daughters.

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, August 14th, 2024.

Currently…

What all are you wearing? Black sweatpants, a dark blue t-shirt, and a dark gray hoodie.

Are your fingernails or toenails painted? What color/s? They aren't.

What is your hair like? It's short, brown, and kind of messy because I woke up not that long ago and haven't showered yet.

Are you eating anything? I'm not, but I just finished eating a bowl of oatmeal.

Drinking anything? Coffee with butter pecan creamer.

Are you doing anything besides this survey? Not really. Just trying to get Esther, one of my kitties, to curl up on my lap instead of walking all over my desk. :')

Does anything hurt or feel uncomfortable on you? My head hurts a bit. I'm hoping it won't evolve into a full-blown migraine until after I go see that movie with my mom. Mornings are usually "tolerable;" afternoons are when things tend to get awful.

What has been making you sad/angry/upset recently? People being jerks for no good reason! Diane was being needlessly grumpy toward Kristen on Monday, and it was really getting her down. Kristen was like, "Why do people have to be so mean?!" And like, seriously. Kristen is kind and hardworking, and there was absolutely no justification for Diane to treat her like that. Shortly after that incident, Diane and Pam were having a conversation outside of the door to ISO, and as Diane went to walk away, she looked into cattery and just shook her head. Kristen, River (new hire), and I were just like…what the actual eff. What did we do? Personally, I thought we did a great job that day, especially considering Kristen and River are new and I'm just a volunteer. We handled that afternoon very well and only made a couple of tiny, relatively inconsequential mistakes. If that was our "trial run," then the future of our little cattery group looks great. But nothing is ever good enough for Diane, lmao. River and I tried to console Kristen as best as we could, but I don't know if it helped much. It's one thing when she grumps at me - I've arrived at a place where I can brush it off and place the blame where it belongs - but Kristen isn't there yet and I don't want her to lose confidence in her capabilities just because someone is taking their own issues out on her.

Also, yesterday…hoo boy, that was a long, frustrating day. I was alone with Cassie, and she was just in such a bad mood the whole time. She was complaining and getting upset over every. single. tiny. thing, and it was getting to the point where I was seriously considering leaving because Y'ALL. I am just a volunteer. There's only so much shit I'm going to tolerate before it's like…yeah, I'm out. But I stayed. And I'm not sure if it was the "right" decision or not. On one hand, I want to learn how to endure situations beyond my comfort zone because obviously life isn't always going to be sunshine and rainbows; however, on the other hand, I felt like I was disrespecting myself by remaining in that situation without really being able to say or do anything about it. I guess that's something to explore in my next therapy appointment because I do feel like I've reached a point where I'm good at enduring shit, but not so good at knowing when to say enough is enough.

What has been making you happy/excited recently? Even though I clearly have my complaints about the animal shelter, it's still a predominantly positive experience and one I am excited to continue pursuing. Over the past five days, I was there for four full days and one half day (for a total of approximately 44 hrs), and my body handled it like a champ. As I have mentioned before, it's really just down to migraine frequency now. Otherwise, I totally think I could handle working there. The chaos and the kitties enrich me. ;D

Overall, I'm mostly just enjoying and appreciating how full my life has been lately. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, like I can't possibly juggle everything, but I'm doing it. Sometimes things don't go to plan and I don't get as much accomplished as I wanted to, but I just try to give myself some grace. With continued practice, I will learn how to balance it all out.

What time is it? 7:02am.

Where are you? At home, in my bedroom.

What device are you using? A Dell desktop.

What do you think your parents are doing? My dad is downstairs in the family room/office, probably doing something on his computer. My mom is at her place, probably still sleeping.

What do you think your siblings are doing? I have no idea.

What do you think your significant other/crush is doing? N/a.

Are you wearing any makeup? What kinds? I'm not.

Are you feeling okay overall? Yeah. I really am. Like, mentally, I'm great. Physically, I'm a bit tired/headache-y, but that's…well, that's nothing new, lmao.

Is anyone in the room with you? Two of my three kitties.

What is your current favorite song/s or album/s? I don't have one atm.

What TV show/s are you in the middle of? None.

What book/s are you in the middle of? The third book in the Dune series. Every time I have to answer this question it just further exposes how little reading I've done lately. Which is to say, I haven't done any at all. ;D

Who is your celebrity crush? None.

What food have you been enjoying recently? Doughnuts. I brought some into the shelter last Friday because Cassie's last day was approaching (it's actually today), and Grandma Doughnut brought some in as well. She's the grandmother of Amy, who recently left. That meant we had a loooot of doughnuts, so I've had one a day for the past five days.

Are you tired? Yeah.

Are you in love? No.

Is your room messy? Not really. The bed is unmade, but that's about it.

What's the weather like outside? Sunny and calm. There was a rip-roaring storm while I was at the shelter yesterday, though. It rolled in around 3:30pm. I was in cattery with Cassie and the lights started doing this weird disco/rave alternate flickering type of thing. At first, we thought it was just cattery, but when we went out to the big room, it was happening there too. At that point it was still just sun showers, but it took like maybe 60 more seconds for the storm to really set in. A group of us just stood around the meeting table and watched for a bit. A volunteer was there pulling rotisserie chicken for the animals, so we were grabbing pieces of that, and I was just munching mine, staring blankly out the window like…this is how we die, huh? ;D It cleared up by closing time, so driving home was no problem; but when I turned the corner into my own neighborhood, there were branches down everywhere and it was obvious that what we experienced at the shelter was a pleasant drizzle compared to the destruction at home.

And lastly, what day of the week is it? Wednesday.

[ausetkmt]

Key points

Self-compassion can help us to respond more effectively to the challenges we meet.

Instead of trying to feel other than we feel, we can take actions to add compassion alongside other feelings.

Broadening our compassion helps us to be kind to ourselves and others at the same time.

Compassionate Self-Expression

by Josh Bartok with permission

Both psychological science (e.g., Neff 2023) and the world’s wisdom traditions point to self-compassion as an important source of equanimity and wellness. Although people often worry that being kind to themselves rather than self-critical will undermine their motivation and progress, studies show that people who practice self-compassion actually respond more effectively to failure and recover better from mistakes (e.g., Breines & Chen, 2011). When we descend into self-criticism, it can lead us to avoid the source of that criticism and intensify our distress, reducing our ability to learn and grow. We can likely see this in our own experience.

And yet, exhortations to practice self-compassion can sound like a demand to feel other than we feel—and we know that trying to get rid of our feelings intensifies them. Or such exhortations can become another stick with which to beat ourselves (“Why can’t I be kinder to myself? I’m doing it again and beating myself up—I’m so bad at being self-compassionate!”)—which can lead us to spiral into more self-criticism and frustration.

In our self-help workbook, Worry Less, Live More, Sue Orsillo and I offer some suggestions, drawn from experts in the field and our own experiences, to help us all to add more self-compassion into our lives, regardless of how we are feeling in the moment. Without imagining you have to somehow remove or suppress any part of your experience, consider which of the following suggestions may help you to add in some amount of self-compassion.

Some ways to add self-compassion to our lives

Engage in acts of care for ourselves, regardless of how we feel. Doing things that are kind and nurturing toward ourselves, such as drinking a cup of tea, dancing, lighting a candle in the bath, reading for pleasure, observing nature, or engaging in spiritual practice, can create a sense of compassion no matter what other thoughts and feelings arise. Getting in the habit of including caring acts in our day helps us to build the muscle of self-compassion so it’s more readily available for us. Consider making a list of acts that you find nurturing that you can add into your life. You might call to mind things that other people have done for you that felt caring, or things you do to care for others and think about how to add them into your life.

Physical soothing. Psychology Today blogger and book author Toni Bernhard, as well as psychologists Chris Germer and Kristen Neff, all suggest physical acts of soothing as ways to cultivate compassion. Putting a hand on your heart, or gently stroking your own cheek, arm, or hand while you feel whatever is arising can create a sense of care and nurturance. Again, we can engage in these actions regardless of the thoughts and feelings that are arising for us (for instance, even though we might feel silly doing this, we can still do it and experience benefit).

Noticing our thoughts and feelings as they arise through mindfulness or other practices. Instead of trying to feel differently, when I take time to notice my thoughts and feelings as they arise, I often find that a sense of compassion arises on its own. During mindfulness practice, I may spontaneously think, “My mind is so busy! I am feeling so much tension in my body.” And then I may feel care and loving concern for myself just as I might for someone else who shared such thoughts and feelings with me. And when this response doesn’t arise at first, I can continue to observe thoughts as they arise, including any self-critical thoughts. Sometimes it is compassion for my lack of self-compassion that arises!

Use imagery to add in a compassionate perspective. Sometimes when I am having a challenging time with my own mind and I don’t have the energy to generate kind thoughts or feelings, I picture my late father and the way he responded to me when I was upset about something. If you have or can imagine people in your life who offer that kindness, you can practice generating images of them during difficult times; it can also be helpful to imagine compassionate figures from books or movies. Imagery naturally generates emotional responses, so just imagining these figures can affect us.

Choose a soothing term of endearment for yourself. Psychologist Kristen Neff suggests calling ourselves something like “Sweetpea” or “Dear one” as a way of countering the more critical ways we may talk to ourselves. Sometimes I call myself “Lizzy” in my head, because only people who love me call that, and it helps to evoke that feeling of being loved when I’m not offering it to myself.

Practice self-compassion exercises. Many mindfulness practices aim specifically at cultivating compassion. The exercise “Inviting a difficulty in and working it through the body” (from psychologist Zindel Segal and colleagues) provides guidance in gently allowing whatever sensations arise in relation to difficult emotions, which can help us to have an open, compassionate response as difficulties arise. Other practices are available here.

The connection between self- and other-compassion

Psychologist Shelly Harrell notes that the focus on self-care, self-love, and self-compassion can overlook our inherent interconnection with other beings, particularly if we hold an individualistic view of self. In this wise post, she highlights the ways that our self is inherently in relation so that care for others is also care for ourselves and care for others is care for ourselves. Recognizing this interconnectedness allows us to broaden our practice of compassion so that it includes both other beings and ourselves. Our acts of care for others can remind us to act with care for ourselves and vice versa. Strengthening our ability to care, understand, nourish, and nurture in either domain can be expanded to be more inclusive of the other. For me, sometimes care for others (people in my life, people I don’t know, or the birds that land on our deck) helps me to reconnect to a sense of care for myself as another living being, doing her best to navigate this difficult business of being human.

[bardicbird]

autistic riz headcanons:

- briefcase is his comfort item. if he doesn’t have it assume he is Freaking Out.

- fucking hates texting so he only pops into the bad kids’ group chat every once and a while. but when he does its always to either add extra information to a conversation, correct someone, or say a sassy one liner and immediately leave.

- totally laughs at the wrong times. super loudly. 

- doesn’t like… KNOW know that he’s autistic but definitely knows he’s different. has a sort of “oh god i feel like an alien this isn’t normal” thing going on but is too busy working on cases to actually think about it

- eventually ayda mentions something offhand about riz’s autism and he’s just like “??? hold up what??” and she’s just like “Oh I’m sorry I was under the impression that you knew did you not know? I have a book you can borrow it really helped me.” and they bond over that and stuff :]

- screeches all the time in response to literally everything. half vocal stim half bc he’s easily startled

- chews and bites like . everything. this one is canon but i need to reiterate just how much this guy’ll bite like whatever is in front of him.

- sometimes he gets stuck on a case because he can’t figure out motive. ‘why is this person doing this? there must be a logical reason..’ and then works himself down to the bone trying to figure it out before kristen or fig is just like.. “maybe it was emotionally driven? peoples’ actions don’t always make sense” and that freaks riz out EVERY time.

- is always pacing. walking around in circles. never stops moving.

- really REALLY forgets that not everyone is like him and in fact. most people aren’t. it can get kind of frustrating , especially when most people don’t live up to the expectations he’s assigned to them in his head. he can get really annoyed by people taking longer to do things he does pretty quickly. which is something he and adaine are both working on together. 

- speed reader . doesn’t always understand what he’s reading but goddamn can he do it fast ! . . except when other people are talking. he can’t read when other ppl are talking.

[asifyoudidntknow]

I miss you, fic + Adele lyrics

Go easy on me (pun intended), friends. Here is my very first fanfic. I love Adele's song "I miss you" from her 25 album. Whenever I hear it I can't help but think of msr. This fic was born after listening to it on repeat. @today-in-fic

I want every single piece of you I want your heaven and your oceans too Treat me soft but touch me cruel I wanna teach you things you never knew, baby

Bring the floor up to my knees Let me fall into your gravity Then kiss me back to life to see Your body standing over me

When he had busted down his door to find Scully lying on her back, dead still, red blood soaking her chest, he took a sharp intake of breath, but forgot to exhale. The blood was a stark contrast to her bright white blouse and it’s presence a reminder that he had been one step behind Padgett in his psychic game of ludicrousness. Padgett silently stalking Scully, sending her a milagro, then confronting her with his lovelorn thoughts, it made his head ache. Padgett then faced with the realization that Scully’s heart was already spoken for. What a goddamn parody. Mulder refuses to let her sacred heart bleed out for him. He will race to Antartica, make a deal with the devil for the chip that cured her cancer, but he draws the line at fucking with her God. When Scully’s eyes fly open the relief flooding through both of them is palpable. As she claws at him, in shock, and visibly shaken, he realizes how much she needs him. She needs him in ways which he is not sure he is capable of providing. And that scares him.

Baby, don't let the lights go down Baby, don't let the lights go down Baby, don't let the lights go down Lights go down, lights go down Lights go down, lights go down Down, down, down

I miss you when the lights go out It illuminates all my doubts Pull me in, hold me tight Don't let go, baby, give me light

She is gone.  Scully is gone.  As he lays in this unknown bed, with this unknown woman, her body foreign, it holds nothing for him, just as he suspects the same could be said for her.  The only warmth he feels is the weight of a 14-karat gold cross necklace clasped around his neck.  As he lies on his back, the cross falls over his sternum and with each breath moves up and down over his aching skin.  He wishes that somehow, with each passing breath, that he could breathe life into this symbol of faith that Scully has found so much comfort in.  That this life force could bring her back to the land of the living, to him.  Last night both he and Kristen wallowed in their states of unrest, finding solace in each other.  One night of releasing the built-up tension.  Hers didn’t climax until hours later, on the tall grass covered hills under the morning sun in LA.  His is slowly seeping from his body with each passing minute she is gone.

I miss you when the lights go out It illuminates all of my doubts Pull me in, hold me tight Don't let go, baby, give me light

She hangs up the phone and punches her pillow down—whether to fluff it or let out some frustration, she doesn’t know. Actually, she does. Of course Mulder ran off again. This time to a town infested with killer cockroaches. And ran into a woman named Bambi. Who the hell is named Bambi? She feels helpless lying here at home in her warm bed. Mulder is a grown man who can take care of himself, but the way he impulsively jumps headfirst sometimes… she’d be lying if she didn’t admit she’d feel better if she was the one there watching his back. Right now, it’s just Bambi and that does not bring her much, if any, comfort. She knows the innocent flirting and bantering meant nothing this evening--just poking some fun, but when it comes to her partnership with Mulder and her responsibility to him, she does not take that lightly. They each had taken an oath to protect the other. Surely, she can’t rely on Bambi.  Oh hell, she better get up there.

I love the way your body moves Towards me from across the room Brushing past my every groove No one has me like you do, baby

Bring your heart, I'll bring my soul But be delicate with my ego I wanna step into your great unknown With you and me setting the tone

Of all the moments of his existence, Mulder will never, ever forget the night Scully came to him. Or the way she felt that night. Every single detail is etched into his eidetic memory. The feather light brush of her hair against his skin, the catch of the moonlight in the blue pools of her eyes, the sound of her moan as he entered her for the first time. Heat, friction, oneness. He’s been married to Scully in every other way for so many years, yet not physically. This joining makes him want to throw himself on his knees and kiss the feet of whatever deity gave her this epiphany. He put the ball in her court on this one. He has been ready since that mind altering fungus fucked with his brain and was further sealed when his thoughts intermingled with her deepest fears and desires. It was only a matter of when. He has learned that it is best not to push with her —she usually retreats, but to let her come to her own decision in due time. Scully does not rush, nor does she leave any scenario unturned. Early in their partnership this used to bother him, but over the years he has come to admire and respect that trait. The fact that she came to him is a decision he knows she did not make lightly, and he is in awe of it.

Baby, don't let the lights go down Baby, don't let the lights go down Baby, don't let the lights go down Lights go down, lights go down Lights go down, lights go down Down, down, down

I miss you when the lights go out It illuminates all my doubts Pull me in, hold me tight Don't let go, baby, give me light

It’s 2:53am. Scully finds herself tossing and turning under the sliver of shadows and streetlights dancing through the blinds. The quiet night does not match the inner turmoil she is grappling with. 5 years of the most challenging and astounding work of her career thus far. 5 years of the most challenging and dedicated partnership. She’s been feeling restless lately, both in her career and her partnership. It’s been roadblock after roadblock. Someone always one step ahead in their work. And then there is Mulder. When they had lost their work in the fire and then closed the X-files, he shut down; retreated. Diana had showed up precisely at the right time with her enthusiasm and unwavering belief that aligned with Mulder’s. Needless to say, Scully was not feeling particularly needed. So, this morning when OPR said reassignment she knew she had to make a choice. She would never be challenged enough at some FBI field office across the country, and she didn’t even want to consider who she might be partnered with. Her and Mulder may have had their share of disagreements, but their partnership has always been built on mutual respect and trust. Trusting anyone else within the FBI—especially in the field, seemed absurd. Nothing could hold a candle to the X-files. Or Mulder for that matter. But that was not a matter she wished to dwell on at this hour. Luckily, the knock at her door ensured she wouldn’t have to.

I miss you when the lights go out It illuminates all my doubts Pull me in, hold me tight Don't let go, baby, give me light

We play so dirty in the dark 'Cause we are living worlds apart It only makes it harder, baby It only makes it harder, baby Harder baby, harder baby

I miss you when the lights go out It illuminates all of my doubts Pull me in, hold me tight Don't let go, baby, give me light

He is gone. Mulder is gone. She came to feed his mollies. Keeping them alive is just another act of preserving her faith that he will return. Last time one died under her care she never heard the end of it. She didn’t plan to stay long, forty-two is not the same without Mulder, but when she turns back towards the door an internal tug pulls her in the direction of his bedroom. His bed is still unmade, in haste to leave for the airport probably, yet the rumpled sheets and strewn dress shirt call to her. She slowly picks the shirt up, knowing that this one was discarded because of the stripes. Not Mulder’s first choice. Scully lies down surrounded by him in touch, scent, sight, and sound she begins to relax. Her mind drifts to a week ago when she spent the night here—a tangle of limbs, sweat, and sweet release. She never would have imagined that it may have been the last time she was able to make love with Mulder. She willed herself to focus on the present moment. Deeply breathing in the combination of soap, deodorant and sweat that is so familiar, the crisp and soft feeling of his dress shirt against her cheek, the soft translucent glow of the bedside lamp and the white noise of the bubbling fish tank slowly sink her into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I miss you when the lights go out It illuminates all of my doubts Pull me in, hold me tight Don't let go, baby, give me light

I miss you, I miss you I miss you, I miss you I miss you, I miss you I miss you, I miss you

She misses him.  It’s always hardest at night.  When it becomes quiet, and she is alone with her thoughts.  Her days are busy and filled with surgeries, meetings, research, paperwork, and patient rounds.  She rarely has time to think of Mulder, but when she climbs into her cold empty bed—it amplifies the fact that he is not there.  She had become so accustomed to him warming the bed before she came home after a long day, his arm slinging over her hip as she curled into him in his half sleep stupor.  The middle of the night waking’s when he would slowly whisper how much he missed her and needed her right now.  It was good and then, it wasn’t.  He would fall asleep on the couch, stopped shaving, his eyes were puffy and hollow.  There was no light behind them when he would see her.  She tried so hard to help him.  Begged him to care for himself.  Her worry over him was affecting her work and she needed some space.  That’s when she left.  She didn’t want to.  She never imagined that she would ever do it, but for her sanity it was necessary.  Now lying in her cold, empty bed she realizes just how long it’s been.  The months turned into years.  Years of missing Mulder.  She knows he is getting better; she does check in with him from time to time.  She knew when the hardness in his voice had started to soften, when she could feel his smile through the phone, the light banter of his teasing returning and his occasional, although more frequent, middle of the night calls.  She had become so numb after leaving, but now she ached for him.  Ached for his warmth, comfort, and companionship.  She misses him and it is overwhelming.

[drysdaales]

Hey please answer just if you want, but what I didn't like about these articles is kristen insisting that we see everywhere things that don't exist, and ok that they can't spoil anything, but she could have answered with a more diplomatic: we don't know where to take them, we didn't have decided yet. Leaving open all the possibilitities, with this she just enraged a lot of people

hey, i'll answer this and then i'm probably not going to answer anything else because i'm not kristen or tim and i'm not a mind-reader, so like as always you can take everything i say with a grain of salt.

i'm not... really sure how much more diplomatic kristen could have been? i'm not sure if i just didn't find it inflammatory because i've been in many fandoms where showrunners have actively hated and made fun of fans, or if i'm queer and tired, but to me... i get the frustration over the "platonic friendships are super revolutionary" because that is not the point whatsoever. like i don't think anyone on twitter or tumblr or tik tok is saying that platonic love cannot be revolutionary, because it 100% can be and it can sometimes be even more important than romantic love. the argument is that a slow burn romance between two men–who are assumed to be heterosexual–would be revolutionary. and it WOULD. that is 100% true and i absolutely agree.

WITH that caveat though, in the tvguide article, she says she is a woman who has many "amazing, deep relationships with other women that are platonic" and because of that, she's always "seen [Buck and Eddie] as a great friendship." she then says the following.

like. first of all this entire quote is a big nothing burger. like. the last part of this sentence literally says "but i think that they're very good friends, and in a lot of ways, they're a family, and i think that's where they are right now."

and like she said, words go out and intention flies out the window so you may take this however you want, but to me this doesn't sound like kristen is saying "fuck buddie they're friends ONLY." to me, it would be one thing if the show stressed to us, either via the characters themselves or other characters' words and actions, that buck and eddie are only friends, but quite literally they just don't do that. so i think getting up in arms over kristen's quotes (and tim's) is a waste of time because they can say whatever they want, but what is canon is what shows up on our screens. these words mean nothing if buddie kisses in three episodes, you know?

quite frankly, if kristen had said "we don't know where to take them" or "we haven't decided yet," and then they ultimately decided on having them stay just friends, imagine how fucking furious you would feel, lmao. because i probably would feel furious at that! imo it's much better that she's saying "they're just friends right now" because... it's true. they are "just friends" right now. (like they're not but you get what i'm saying.) she's not lying when she says that.

and re: the variety article? again, all those quotes literally mean nothing if what we see on our screens says otherwise. so i think that fans will get mad no matter what, and that's fine, but if i'm not mad it's because i've been around the block and i'm literally just here for the laughs and a good time and i'm succeeding! so i mean more power to you if you want to be upset about it, but if these articles are dampening your enjoyment of the show, then don't read them! someone will pick out the good quotes for sure.

[angelsandarsenic]

Winter is Coming!! *Excitement* So have some DreamSMP Ski/Snowboard Headcanons!

Dsmp hits the slopes Pt. 1

Techno:

--Mainly skis but also boards

 --there’s a video of him totally booking it right past one of those big yellow signs that says “turning is cool! No straight lining”

--Phil is in the background saying “techno nO this is how you hit that child last time!”

--last time was actually when he was younger and still learning and wasn’t going crazy fast. No one got hurt thankfully

--he does come concerningly close to hitting children way too often

--complains about having to wait for Dream to strap into his board when he skis with them

--just wears a hoodie instead of an actual jacket, either with two black diamonds on it or an Antarctic Empire ski brand hoodie

(Antarctic Empire would be such a cool name for a winter sports brand)

Dream:

--half and half snowboard and ski

--can do blacks, terrain parks and glades all day but will fall in the common area going back to the lift

--doesn’t like skiing/boarding alone (he gets in a depressive Mood and gets way too reckless, or has to resist just laying down at the top of the mountain because everything is too much work and he doesn't have the energy)

--loves to race George, Sap, Bad, Sam and Ant (he always wins)

--sometimes uses his poles to trip them up on purpose (only cuz he knows they’ll be fine)

--he and techno score people’s wipeouts from the lift

--the one thing he can’t get the hang of is fancier butter tricks and he rage quits (then tries again next time)

Philza:

--used to snowboard and is still pretty good but switched to skis (no poles)

--has tons of stickers on his board from everywhere he’s been

--the graphics on his skis are murders of crows (flock murders not kill murders)

--one of the greatest back country skiiers and snowboarders with kristen

--he and Kristin always take some time to admire the scenery

--taught Techno how to board

Tommy:

--tried to learn to snowboard when Wilbur did but got frustrated quickly with how much he wiped out and switched over to skis

--he’s very speedy. One might even think he doesn’t know how to stop properly...

--In response to the Techno video Wilbur sent one back of Tommy screaming and running right through the middle of the “high speed kills! Slow down!” Sign

Tubbo:

--also tried snowboarding cuz Tommy did. He was a natural talent but switched to skis later

--always gets distracted by the grey jays

--goes through the trees as much as possible

--whenever Ranboo is down ahead of him he screams “IM A GIRAFFE” as he goes by

--got distracted and forgot to get off the lift once

--has one of the jackets with the fur around the hood

Wilbur:

--snowboard, still learning

--he stays on the blues with Tommy

--he’ll be doing great but then eat snow pretty bad and get nervous and slower for the rest of the day

--a bit scared about switching edges

--he rides the edges really bad and tears them up and tires himself out more because he's also nervous he'll lose his balance going straight on and fall

Ranboo:

--started on skis but was a bit too clumsy kept and crossing them over each other and stuff and switched to snowboard

--brings necklaces to throw on the trees with Tubbo

--Wilbur gets kinda annoyed when Boo passes him, also that he’s so good at switching edges

--learned snowboarding really fast but doesn’t want to go on blacks just yet

--clumsy off the lifts

Bad Boy Halo:

--snowboards

--memorized the maps and always knows where he is

--has to remind skeppy that the closed runs are closed for a reason

--always makes sure to put the bar down on the lift, also that person that makes friends with everyone on the lift

--loves the glades

Skeppy:

--loves jumping everything but the rails kinda scare him

--has gone speeding out of control into the trees once

--always wants to do the most perilous runs

--“just point me in the direction we’re going”, has gotten lost multiple times

--speedy

George:

--skis

--always listening to music

--will complain about having to wait for people when they fall or just leaves them behind

--he and dream both spray slow/fallen people when they go by

--the only time he falls is when he zones out and isn’t paying attention

--almost always late getting out cuz he slept in

Bonus: Kristin:

--skis

--helps people on and off the lifts but can’t help but laugh when they fall

--always down to give tips to people who ask

--also loves glades and back country

[wallynorthbynorthwest]

Normally I enjoy playing lawful good but I don't ever know what to do when we meet a character who needs to die, and it always causes problems

I can't wait until I can get to my neutral evil drow who masquerades as chaotic neutral so I can actually murder NPCs who I hate

[outrunningthedark]

When the cast knows that the characters aren’t just friends but the writers still won’t do anything about it so they decide to make some interesting acting choices on purpose because they are trying to give us what they can

I understand your frustration, nonnie, but let's not blame ALL the writers when the only one publicly resisting canon!Buddie (because it's way more fun than saying, 'Buddie will definitely happen. Wait for it.') is Tim. Some highlights various writers have given us: 2x01 Under Pressure (written by: Tim Minear! 😦 & Brad Falchuk) ⭐ "We might end up real close." (Nice foreshadowing, Tim!) 2x04 Stuck (written by: John J. Gray) ⭐ "And, uh, who is this?" ... "I thought you just dressed alike." ⭐ "Buck gave me a heads up." ⭐"So, does this boy crush on Eddie mean that you're, uh, finally ready to move on from Abby?" 2x06 Dosed (written by: Juan Carlos Coto) ⭐"Wait, Chimney has a kid?" "No, I-I thought you meant..." 2x10 Merry Ex-Mas (written by: Christopher Monfette) ⭐ "You two have an adorable son." 2x18 This Life We Choose (written by: TIMOTHY MINEAR!!!) ⭐"Well, [Eddie's ceremony] is more important. If I break anything else, they can just fix that, too, with the other stuff." 3x01 Kids Today (written by: Kristen Reidel) ⭐Eddie using a key to get into Buck's apartment ⭐"He's hanging out with his Buck today!" 3x03 The Searchers (written by: David Fury) ⭐ "He was looking for Buck." ⭐ "I love him enough to never stop trying. And I know you do, too." ⭐ "Buck, there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you." ⭐ A few choices words can sometimes be the life raft that gets you home. To be seen. To be found. Isn't that what we're all searching for? 3x05 Rage (written by: Lyndsey Beaulieu) ⭐"You know how much Christopher misses you? How could you? You're not around." 3x06 Monsters (written by: Christopher Monfette) ⭐"I just want you to talk to me. Even if it's just to say that you're still mad." ⭐ "When you decided to sue the department, to make Cap the bad guy, did you ever stop for a minute to think what that could do to us?" 3x09 Fallout (written by: Juan Carlos Coto) ⭐ "I'm sorry I wasn't there, Eddie. You and Chris needed me, and I had my head so far up my own behind with that stupid lawsuit..." ⭐ "I'd still take you." // "You think so?" // "I know. *pause* You wanna go for the title?" 3x11 Seize the Day (written by: Lyndsey Beaulieu) ⭐ "Uh, this is Eddie's house. I'm not really a guest." 3x12 Fools (written by: Andrew Meyers) ⭐ Ana's ableism versus Buck helping Eddie build an accessible skateboard 3x15 Eddie Begins (written by: Christopher Monfette) ⭐ Buck clawing at the dirt and mud when he thinks Eddie is gone ⭐ "So we can end up with two cut lines?" 3x18 What's Next? (written by: Juan Carlos Coto & Kristen Reidel) ⭐ "Buck, stop! Alright. I know you made a promise." ⭐"To Abby. His fiancée's Abby." 4x03 Future Tense (written by: Andrew Meyers) ⭐ Buckley-Diaz family time ⭐ "I can know weird stuff, too." ⭐ Christopher and Buck conspiring to freak Eddie out 4x04 9-1-1, What's Your Grievance? (written by: Nadia Abass-Madden) ⭐ "What do you have to apologize for? Did you say anything that wasn't true? ... Well, look. Maybe you could have come at it a little differently, but if that's how you feel, how they made you feel? You have every right to say so." 4x05 Buck Begins (written by: Juan Carlos Coto) ⭐ "I had to do it." // "I know you did." 4x06 Jinx (written by: Taylor Wong) ⭐ "Yup." // "I'm sorry, what was that?" // "Check." ⭐ "Still not sure what inspired the software update." 4x08 Breaking Point (written by: Bob Goodman) ⭐Eddie coming home after his date and calling Buck "a miracle worker" ⭐ Christopher taking an Uber to Buck's apartment ⭐ "You still got me. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere." 4x10 Parenthood (written by: Lyndsey Beaulieu) ⭐ ["Can't you both be good cops?"] (Simultaneously) "No!" ⭐ "I'm curious to know what your definition of 'too much discipline' is." 4x12 Treasure Hunt (written by: Bob Goodman) ⭐ Eddie asking Buck if he wants to find the treasure together, Buck initially says he already made a deal with Taylor, then caves after one look from Eddie 4x13 Suspicion (written by: Lyndsey Beaulieu & Andrew Meyers) ⭐"But just be sure that you're following your heart, not Christopher's, okay?"

⭐ Buck is the one who accompanies Eddie to Charlie's apartment, not Chimney (who was also aware what was going on!), and watches Eddie get shot in broad daylight

4x14 Survivors (written by: Kristen Reidel) ⭐ "Hey...Are you hurt?" ⭐ "We're so close. I just...I need you to hang...I need you to hang on." ⭐ Buck crying in Christopher's bedroom after getting the news that Eddie made it out of surgery ⭐ Buck taking his parental responsibilities very seriously without ever getting permission from Eddie, Abuela, or Pepa ⭐ "You were there for him when I couldn't be. That's what matters." ⭐ "It's in my will, if I die, you become Christopher's legal guardian." ⭐ "No one will fight for my son as hard as you. That is what I want for him." ⭐ "Because, Evan. You came in here the other day and you said you thought it would have been better if it had been you who was shot. You act like you're expendable. But you're wrong." The writers have BEEN setting the stage for a romance from early on (the parallels between Buck and Shannon? Hello?), but it's up to Tim to decide when to pull the trigger.