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book--brackets · 7 months ago

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Young Wizards by Diana Duane (1983-2016)

Nita Callahan is at the end of her rope because of the bullies who've been hounding her at school... until she discovers a mysterious library book that promises her the chance to become a wizard. But she has no idea of the difference that taking the Wizard's Oath is going to make in her life. Shortly, in company with fellow beginner-wizard Kit Rodriguez, Nita's catapulted into what will be the adventure of a lifetime—if she and Kit can both live through it. For every wizard's career starts with an Ordeal in which he or she must challenge the one power in the universe that hates wizardry more than anything else: the Lone Power that invented death and turned it loose in the worlds. Plunged into a dark and deadly alternate New York full of the Lone One's creatures, Kit and Nita must venture into the very heart of darkness to find the stolen, legendary Book of Night with Moon. Only with the dangerous power of the wizardly Book do they have a chance to save not just their own lives, but their world...

Valdemar: The Last Herald-Mage by Mercedes Lackey (1989-1990)

Though Vanyel has been born with near-legendary abilities to work both Herald and Mage magic, he wasn't no part in such things. Nor does he seek a warrior's path, wishing instead to become a Bard.

Yet such talent as his, if left untrained, may prove a menace not only to Vanyel but to others as well. So he is sent to be fostered with his aunt, Savil, one of the fame Herald-Mages of Valdemar.

But, strong-willed and self-centered, Vanyel is a challenge which even Savil cannot master alone. For soon he will become the focus of frightening forces, lending his raw magic to a spell that unleashes terrifying wyr-hunters on the land.

And by the time Savil seeks the assistance of a Shin'a'in Adept, Vanyel's wild talent may have already grown beyond anyone's ability to contain, placing Vanyel, Savil, and Valdemar itself in desperate peril.

The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi (2016-2018)

Fate and fortune. Power and passion. What does it take to be the queen of a kingdom when you're only seventeen?

Maya is cursed. With a horoscope that promises a marriage of Death and Destruction, she has earned only the scorn and fear of her father's kingdom. Content to follow more scholarly pursuits, her whole world is torn apart when her father, the Raja, arranges a wedding of political convenience to quell outside rebellions. Soon Maya becomes the queen of Akaran and wife of Amar. Neither roles are what she expected: As Akaran's queen, she finds her voice and power. As Amar's wife, she finds something else entirely: Compassion. Protection. Desire...

But Akaran has its own secrets -- thousands of locked doors, gardens of glass, and a tree that bears memories instead of fruit. Soon, Maya suspects her life is in danger. Yet who, besides her husband, can she trust? With the fate of the human and Otherworldly realms hanging in the balance, Maya must unravel an ancient mystery that spans reincarnated lives to save those she loves the most... including herself.

The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson (2008-2014)

Janner Igiby, his brother, Tink, and their disabled sister, Leeli, are gifted children as all children are, loved well by a noble mother and ex-pirate grandfather. But they will need all their gifts and all that they love to survive the evil pursuit of the venomous Fangs of Dang, who have crossed the dark sea to rule the land with malice. The Igibys hold the secret to the lost legend and jewels of good King Wingfeather of the Shining Isle of Anniera.

Myth Adventures by Robert Lyn Asprin (1978-2002)

Skeeve was a magician's apprentice--until an assassin struck and his master was killed. Now, with a purple-tongued demon named Aahz as a companion, he's on a quest to get even.

The Land of Elyon by Patrick Carman (2003-2008)

Alexa is curious about what lies beyond the massive ramparts that surround the city and the walled roads that link Bridewell to nearby towns; soon after town leader Thomas Warvold passes away, Alexa finds herself outside the walls, acquires a stone with remarkable powers, and discovers that she's meant to stop a potential war from occurring.

The Worst Witch by Jill Murphy (1974-2018)

Mildred Hubble is a trainee witch at Miss Cackle's Academy, and she's making an awful mess of it. She's always getting her spells wrong and she can't even ride a broomstick without crashing it. Will she ever make a real witch?

The Left-Handed Booksellers of London by Garth Nix (2020-2023)

In a slightly alternate London in 1983, Susan Arkshaw is looking for her father, a man she has never met. Crime boss Frank Thringley might be able to help her, but Susan doesn't get time to ask Frank any questions before he is turned to dust by the prick of a silver hatpin in the hands of the outrageously attractive Merlin.

Merlin is a young left-handed bookseller (one of the fighting ones), who with the right-handed booksellers (the intellectual ones), are an extended family of magical beings who police the mythic and legendary Old World when it intrudes on the modern world, in addition to running several bookshops.

Susan's search for her father begins with her mother's possibly misremembered or misspelt surnames, a reading room ticket, and a silver cigarette case engraved with something that might be a coat of arms.

Merlin has a quest of his own, to find the Old World entity who used ordinary criminals to kill his mother. As he and his sister, the right-handed bookseller Vivien, tread in the path of a botched or covered-up police investigation from years past, they find this quest strangely overlaps with Susan's. Who or what was her father? Susan, Merlin, and Vivien must find out, as the Old World erupts dangerously into the New.

The Lighthouse Witches by C. J. Cooke (2021)

When single mother Liv is commissioned to paint a mural in a 100-year-old lighthouse on a remote Scottish island, it’s an opportunity to start over with her three daughters–Luna, Sapphire, and Clover. When two of her daughters go missing, she’s frantic. She learns that the cave beneath the lighthouse was once a prison for women accused of witchcraft. The locals warn her about wildlings, supernatural beings who mimic human children, created by witches for revenge. Liv is told wildlings are dangerous and must be killed.

Twenty-two years later, Luna has been searching for her missing sisters and mother. When she receives a call about her youngest sister, Clover, she’s initially ecstatic. Clover is the sister she remembers–except she’s still seven years old, the age she was when she vanished. Luna is worried Clover is a wildling. Luna has few memories of her time on the island, but she’ll have to return to find the truth of what happened to her family. But she doesn’t realize just how much the truth will change her.

Reckless by Cornelia Funke (2010-2020)

Jacob has uncovered the doorway to another world, hidden behind a mirror. It is a place of dark magic and enchanted objects, scheming dwarves and fearsome ogres, fairies born from water and men born from stone.Here, he hunts for treasure and seeks adventure in the company of Fox - a beautiful, shape-shifting girl, who guides and guards him.But now Jacob's younger brother has followed him into the mirrored world, and all that was freedom has turned to fear. Because a deadly curse has been spoken; and Jacob must risk his life to reverse it, before his brother is turned to stone forever...

#best fantasy book #poll #young wizards #valdemar: the last herald-mage #the star-touched queen #the wingfeather saga #myth adventures #the land of elyon #the worst witch #the left-handed booksellers of london #the lighthouse witches #reckless

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copper-16 · 1 year ago

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You Can't Talk No Sh*t Without Penalties (Misa Rodriguez x Marta Cardona)

A/N: I had a request to upload this on here from ao3 and thought why not...so here it is!

To the rest of the world, Misa is absolutely terrifying.

Marta doesn’t really get it.

Until suddenly, she gets it.

That one trope where the intimidating person is soft but only for the sunshiny person.

———

Marta was making her rounds after the first international friendly that Spain played when it happened. The team had won their first game of the break against Sweden, 2-1. Marta hadn’t played much, only the last twenty minutes of the game, but she made sure to make her way around the stadium as thoroughly as she could, trying to sign every jersey and take every picture asked of her by the fans.

She’s just reached a young girl, maybe around 10 or 11, who looks up at her with big, anxious eyes. She’s trying to say something to the winger, and Marta leans down so that she can hear the girl over the roar of the crowd.

“Uhm…could you…uh, well I was just hoping that…” The girl trails off, her face red and her nerves clear. Marta looks her over carefully, noticing the goalkeeper gloves in her hands. The winger looks up and back over at the group of her teammates standing on the sidelines, where the girl is looking.

The Real Madrid goalie is standing there speaking to Alexia and Irene, and Marta smiles without even really thinking about it or realizing it.

“Misa? Were you trying to get her attention?” Marta asks gently, her voice soft.

“Uh, I was wondering if you could call her over?” The girl asks bashfully, and Marta’s smile only grows, her eyebrows furrowing just slightly in confusion.

“Why don’t you call her over yourself?” Marta questioned, knowing that Misa was close enough to hear the girl if she had called her name out at a normal volume. The girl flushes, ducking her head for a moment before she answers.

“Well it’s just…she’s quite scary!” The girl stammers out, and Marta takes the opportunity to look the goalkeeper over. She was currently talking to Irene, and Marta supposes that objectively she could look a little bit intimidating. The Spaniard stood tall in the white goalkeeper kit she had on, her arms crossed over her chest as she appeared deep in discussion. Her lips were set in a thin line, her eyebrows furrowed in what some would perceive as a scowl, but Marta knew was simply the Spaniard conveying her focus. Her biceps bulged against the sleeves of her top as she shifted to the other foot, and Marta could feel a flush coming over her own cheeks as she averted her eyes, looking back to the girl as she swallowed roughly.

“She’s really not, I promise,” Marta conveyed, but she raised her arm and called for Misa regardless, wanting her to meet the sweet young girl.

Misa had been in the middle of an intense discussion with Irene about the La Liga strike when she heard her name, and suddenly, just like that, her attention was shifted to the call that she knew had come from Marta. The goalkeeper's head immediately swiveled to find her, her conversation with Irene completely forgotten. Irene rolled her eyes as a smile spread on Misa’s face, her whole expression softening at the sight of the winger, who was looking at her with an open expression, clearly trying to call Misa over.

All of the girls knew better than to try to hold Misa’s attention whenever Marta was around. The brunette had a unique ability to melt the usually terrifying and harsh Misa down into someone of incredible softness.

It was almost sickening, considering that neither one seemed to get the hint that they were both in love with the other, instead doing this strange dance around one another where neither admitted their true feelings.

“Sorry, I just–” Misa stammered out, a half excuse on her lips as she’s already moving toward the brunette, but Irene just shooed her away and toward the shorter woman, knowing that she had lost the Spaniard’s attention the minute Marta opened her mouth.

Misa made her way over to Marta quickly, her heart squeezing when she saw that the winger was speaking to a young girl, who was looking between Marta and Misa with a nervous expression.

Marta smiled at the goalkeeper as she drew near, and Misa knew she should be looking at the young fan but she really only had eyes for the brunette. She would give anything to just stare at Marta for hours and have it be considered societally appropriate, to memorize the curve of her jaw and the lift of her cheekbones, every fleck of green in her hazel eyes, every freckle that dusted over her face.

But Marta wasn’t hers, and the brunette had never shown Misa in any way that she had interest in being more than friends, so the goalkeeper pined after her silently, and (if you were to ask her teammates), quite obviously.

“Yes?” Misa answers softly, finally forcing her eyes away from Marta and to the young girl she’s with.

“This is Anna, she’s 10 and from Malaga,” Marta explained, and the little girl, Anna, nodded carefully as she listened to the brunette’s words, looking back at Misa with hopeful eyes.

Misa smiled at the kindness in Marta’s words, nodding along as she looked between the two.

“Well it’s lovely to meet you Anna,” Misa exclaimed, delighting in the way that the little girl smiled brightly back at her, clearly thrilled at Misa’s words.

“It’s really nice to meet you too! I was wondering if you could maybe sign my gloves?” Anna asked, holding up the little goalie gloves she had, along with a pen. Misa happily took them, signing them with her loopy signature before she looked behind the girl, to see her mother watching the interaction with a smile.

“How about a picture too?” Misa suggested, and the girl’s mouth dropped open, surprise taking over her whole face.

“Really?” She asked, awe in her voice and Misa nodded once, letting the girl turn and wrapping her arm around the girl’s shoulders.

Once the picture had been taken and they had said goodbye, Misa walked back toward the group shoulder to shoulder with Marta. The winger shook her head slightly, looking over at Misa with a grin on her face.

“You’re always so sweet with the kids,” Marta commented, and Misa had to fight to keep a stupidly big smile off her face at the compliment. She shakes her head slightly, looking over at Marta, her smile full of mirth.

“I’m nothing like you. You’d make time for every person in here if they asked,” Misa acknowledged, her heart skipping a beat at the blush that twinged Marta’s ear as the goalkeeper looked down at her. The winger knocked her shoulder into Misa's arm affectionately, and the Spaniard blushed at the action, a light flush covering her cheeks.

Irene and Esther watched the exchange with unimpressed expressions painted across their respective faces.

“I’m giving it a month,” Esther announced suddenly, and Irene scoffed beside her.

“Please, a month? At this rate I’m giving it a week,” Irene exclaimed with an eye roll, and Esther couldn’t help but laugh as she headed for the tunnel to go shower and change.

—

Marta walked out of the locker room alone, after Misa got called away to discuss something with the trainer. She fell into step with Lola, who waited for her teammate so they could head to the bus together.

“This little girl I talked to today was so scared of Misa she made me call her over for her! Isn’t that crazy?” Marta observed with a laugh, and Lola looked over at her with a brow raised, clearly confused at Marta’s words.

“Marta, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Misa is objectively quite an intimidating person. To people who don’t know her she’s definitely scary,” Lola explained gently, but Marta looked over at the goalkeeper with clear confusion on her face.

“What are you talking about? It’s Misa, she’s not like that at all!” Marta exclaimed, but her teammate just let out a chuckle at the pure cluelessness that Marta had.

“Marta, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you’re the only one she’s like that around. You’re the only one that she lets drag her around to fans or who talks her into stuff she doesn’t want to do. You’re the only one who can calm her down when she gets really upset, you are the one she wants to be close to all of the time. She’s not like that with anyone else,” Lola pointed out, and Marta was completely dumbfounded that the goalkeeper told her exactly what she had wanted to hear, in such concrete terms. The winger is quiet for a moment, opening and closing her mouth several times before she finally speaks.

“I…why do you think she’s like that?” Marta asks with carefully constructed uncertainty, almost afraid that Lola won’t answer in the way that Marta thinks she will.

She just needs one person to say it. One person to point it out to her, for her to maybe believe what she so hopes is true. Lola groans next to her, slapping a hand over her face with frustration.

“Marta,” Lola groans, and suddenly like an arrow it hits the brunette straight in the chest, nearly knocking the wind out of her lungs.

“Oh…OH,” Marta stutters after a second, her eyebrows nearly disappearing into her hairline when she realizes that Lola means exactly what she thinks Lola means.

“Yeah…” Lola replies, and she can’t help but feel slightly relieved that Marta finally sees what’s right in front of her face this whole damn time. “Do you think you might feel the same?”

Marta thinks about Lola’s question for a second before she answers, her voice holding more uncertainty than anything else. She doesn’t want to answer completely honestly, give anyone more of a reason to tease her than necessary.

Yes.

“I don’t…maybe? I’m not sure, I hadn’t really thought about it,” Marta lies, and Lola seems to accept the answer easily, not pressing the issue further.

When Marta finally tucks herself into bed later that night, her mind is filled with nothing except for Misa. She had known that she liked Misa months ago, and for months she’s simply sat on that information, never planning to act on it.

It had never occurred to her that perhaps Misa felt exactly the same way that she did about her.

Marta isn’t really sure what to do with that information, so she decides to do what she does best, and investigate this potential hypothesis.

—

Marta wakes up the next morning with a mission.

She has one thing on the agenda (aside from the very real, actual things she has for her camp schedule).

And that one thing: watch Misa and see if Lola is telling the truth. Not that Marta inherently thinks her friend is lying, quite the contrary really, but she just isn’t sure.

She’s curious, that’s all. And she isn’t about to walk up to Misa and profess her feelings for the goalkeeper with absolutely no concrete evidence that the goalkeeper at least might feel the same way.

So she walks into the locker room with her head on a swivel, looking for the Spaniard as soon as she walks in the door. And luckily for her, Misa looks up to nod her greeting to Mapi, who had walked in before her, before she sees Marta, and a smile breaks onto the goalkeeper's face as she greets the brunette.

“Morning!” Misa calls cheerfully, and Marta can’t help but reply with her own smile, her heart surging at the difference in greeting from her to Mapi.

Hm…strike one, Marta thinks, realizing that this was just the kind of thing she was looking for. It’s not enough on its own, but perhaps if there are other signs, she can really be sure.

And as they’re getting ready, Marta realizes the more she watches Misa, the more she understands how the goalkeeper could be perceived as scary. She doesn’t speak a lot, her resting face isn’t exactly one filled with kindness, and while she’s not exactly the tallest person in the world, her height combined with the sheer amount of muscle mass she holds makes her very presence more intimidating than most.

Marta looks down at her lithe, short body and then back up at Misa, swallowing as she realizes just how much she dwarfs the goalkeeper, both in muscle and size, considering that Misa is a good half foot taller than she is.

She doesn’t let herself think about it any longer, all but running out of the room and heading for the film room, which is where the team will start their day.

The winger is one of the first in the room, and she settles in a chair near the middle, waiting for her teammates to file in. Everyone walks in, taking their usual spots. Alexia is sat up front with Jenni, the couple looking at one another with sickeningly in love expressions, while Aitana and Ona both head for the back, and still the winger waits for Misa to come in.

The goalkeeper trails in after Sandra, her eyes already gazing around the room, clearly looking for someone. When she spots Marta her face softens into a half-smile, and she quickly steps over to sit down next to the winger, who is looking at her with big eyes.

“Hey, did I miss anything?” Misa asks quietly before she actually looks over at the brunette, and she takes in her surprised expression. “Everything okay?” Misa asks, her eyebrows furrowing together in clear concern.

“Fine!” Marta squeaks, and Misa’s eyes narrow at the high pitch of her friend’s tone, but she chooses not to comment on it as Marta’s eyes almost plead with her not to.

“Totally fine…cool, great, good, yeah,” Marta continues, the words simply tumbling out of her mouth with little thought behind them. Misa looks the winger up and down with a raised brow before she nods slowly, letting Marta get away with her strange response.

As they turn toward the front to start the film session, Marta only has one thought pinging through her mind.

Strike two.

—

Strike three happens when they all least expect it to.

Honestly Marta wasn’t even looking for a third strike, she was simply sitting with the information that there might be a chance her feelings aren’t as unrequited as she had always assumed that they were.

The team had gone out to scrimmage at the end of practice after doing some light strength training. It had taken everything in Marta to not stare at Misa as she lifted with the other goalkeepers, but if she had taken the time to at least look in the Spaniard’s direction she would have found a pair of russet brown eyes intently on her the majority of the time.

But she didn’t, and still Misa didn’t say a thing, and instead they all headed out to scrimmage.

Misa wasn’t even playing when it happened. She was on the sidelines watching the teams, with Sandra in goal for one and Lola in goal for the other. Marta was on Sandra’s team, playing up front with Aitana and Lucia.

The brunette had just gotten the ball from Alexia when it happened. She shifts her body around to turn toward the goal, but not fast enough. Not fast enough to register that Athenea is going in for a tackle, and an incredibly poorly timed one at that.

And just like that the winger is down on the ground, the ball completely forgotten as she clutches at her ankle hopelessly, a yelp of pain escaping her lips at the crunching tackle.

She can do nothing but breathe for a second as the pain shoots up and through her leg, and she tries to catch the breath she had lost in the fall. She can feel someone crouch beside her, but she can’t quite tell who it is.

“Marta? Marta, tell me where it hurts.”

The winger recognizes that voice. She can’t reply, the words won’t leave her throat, but she does manage to tip herself over, falling to the side and looking up at Misa. Misa, who had been on the opposite side of the pitch from her just a second ago. The goalkeeper is at her side, looking down at the winger with panic in her eyes, her hands on the brunette’s arm and side.

“Ankle,” Marta manages to huff out, and Misa’s eyes widen as she looks down at the appendage, before she looks back up at the winger’s eyes, clocking the tear that had begun to gently fall down her cheek.

Misa brings one of her hands up to cradle Marta’s cheek, brushing the lone tear away before she leaned back, straightening herself slightly and calling out for the medic.

“Misa…” Marta cries gently, and suddenly the goalkeeper goes from looking absolutely lethal to the gentle person that Marta knew her to be, her whole face softened into one of concern as she looks the winger up and down once more, her hands placed steadily and comfortingly at Marta’s side. The winger tries to focus on the warmth radiating from Misa’s hand, the scent of vanilla from Misa’s perfume rather than the pain in her ankle.

“Hey, hey, I’m right here. You’re gonna be fine,” Misa promises, and Marta nods as she shoves the tears away. The pain is starting to fade from her ankle, and she moves to sit up, an action that Misa is quick to support, her hand comfortingly on the brunette’s back as she watches her closely.

“Sorry, can you move out of the way?” One of the medics asks Misa as they run over to help Marta, and the look on the Spaniard’s face can only be described as murderous at the audacity of this person to ask her to leave.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Misa growled, and Marta can’t help the slight surprise she feels at hearing Misa’s tone, low and threatening. The medic cowers back slightly, clearly more than a little afraid of the woman.

“No…I mean I just…uh we need…space to work and all,” the medic stammers out, and Marta places her hand on Misa’s knee with a tight smile.

“It’s okay Mi, let them work, it's alright,” Marta hums out as she tries to keep the pain out of her voice, and Misa’s eyes rove over the wingers face for a long moment before she nods, standing and moving out of the way, but only moving to stand behind the brunette and next to Esther, who has also been there since Marta went down.

“Yeah down girl!” Esther jokes from beside the goalkeeper, but she’s quickly silenced with a punishing look from the Spaniard.

“Sheesh, someone can’t take a joke today,” Esther mutters, but Misa hardly even hears her, too focused on Marta to care what anyone else said or thought.

Marta looks back up at Misa, at the way she’s looking over at Athenea, her arms crossed over her chest and a harsh expression on her face. It’s perhaps one of the first time’s she’s really registered the ‘intimidating’ person that Lola had referenced before. Even when they’d first met, Misa had never been anything but kind to Marta.

But now, with Misa standing over her like a guard dog, protecting her from what exactly, Marta isn’t really sure, but she might be starting to get the goalkeeper’s reputation.

She tries to ignore the fact that Misa’s scowl is insanely attractive, and the way she glances down at Marta every few seconds with a protective glint in her eyes makes the wingers heart stutter in her chest.

The medics rotate her ankle for a few minutes, but despite the initial sharp pain, the discomfort in her foot is subsiding quickly enough that Marta isn’t particularly concerned. She lets them work though, not wanting to brush it off too quickly and risk reinjury.

“Okay, it looks mostly okay, it’s probably just a sprain, but we want to take you back to the med room to check just in case,” the medic explained, and Marta nodded as she started to push herself to stand.

As if on cue, the goalkeeper who's been watching her like a hawk is there with her hand under Marta’s arm to support her. The winger isn’t entirely sure she even needs the help, but she’s not going to turn it down, not when it’s from Misa.

The Spaniard helps to wrap Marta’s arm over her shoulder before she loops her arm around the winger’s waist, helping her walk toward the med room.

And for once Marta, who is arguably one of the more chatty people on the team, is completely silent. Misa’s body is pressed up against hers, the warmth from her side seeping into Marta as they walk toward the room quietly, with Misa shouldering a fair amount of her weight.

“Are you sure you can walk?” Misa asks after they are off the field, and Marta’s stomach swirls with unhelpful but not entirely unwanted thoughts as she imagines Misa’s strong arms around her, carrying her somewhere…anywhere.

She shakes her head slightly, both as an answer and to ward off the thought.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine Misa, you should get back to practice,” Marta insisted, and despite everything screaming in her not to, she gently pushes the goalkeeper's body away from hers.

Misa looks down at her with nothing but concern and worry written in her expression, clearly not convinced.

“Are you sure? I can come with you–” Misa starts, but Marta interrupts her with a hand on her arm. The winger tries her absolute hardest to ignore the hard muscles of Misa’s bicep she can feel under her fingertips, the way that she can feel Misa relax under her touch.

“Mi, I’m okay, I promise,” Marta assures, and Misa’s eyes rove over the brunette’s face once more before she nods curtly, her jaw set in a tight line. She checks to make sure that the medics are next to Marta before she steps away, heading regrettably back toward the field. The goalkeeper only glances back once, her heart clenching at the sight of Marta slightly limping down the tunnel.

But Marta told her to go, and if there’s one thing Misa will do, it’s follow Marta’s instructions. So she returns to practice, even if her mind stays down the hallway, where half of her heart remains in the med room.

—

Misa is the second member of the team on the bus, having practically ran there after the medics had told her that Marta was already on the bus.

The winger is sitting in the middle of the bus, looking at something on her phone.

“Hey,” Misa announces her presence breathlessly, and Marta looks up at her with a wide smile, taking in the flushed cheeks and sloppy bun that sat atop the Spaniard’s head.

“Hey you,” Marta answered easily, patting the space next to her for Misa to join her, if she would like. The goalkeeper takes the offered spot, shifting to look Marta over wholly.

“How's your ankle?” Misa asks carefully, hoping only for good news. But Marta seems perfectly relaxed, picking up her foot and twirling it around carefully.

“It’s alright, I just twisted it a bit. I’ll do light work tomorrow and I should be back fully the day after next. Not as bad as it seems or felt on the field,” Marta explained, and Misa’s body relaxes next to her, a rush of gratitude flooding her chest that it’s not a more serious injury.

“That’s good, I’m really glad,” Misa replies happily, and Marta just smiles at her before turning back to her phone. Misa settles in next to her, and she ends up falling asleep by the time the bus leaves.

They’re only five minutes into their journey when Misa shifts in her sleep, her head tipping over to Marta’s shoulder as her body snuggles into the wingers smaller one. It’s amazing to Marta how the large goalie can make herself so small to tuck herself into Marta’s body, but she would never dare complain.

Strike three, Marta thinks as Misa’s nose brushes against her throat, sending a shiver down the winger’s back at the tiny gesture.

Marta carefully looks down to check that Misa is asleep before she unlocks her phone, opening her messages. She carefully types out a message to Lola before she presses send on it, despite the hesitance she feels.

Marta Cardona: Do you really think it’s possible that Misa likes me? As more than a friend?

Marta clocks movement from above her screen, and she looks up to see both Lola and Mapi rise out of their seats like cartoon characters they’re so in sync. The duo is sitting two rows in front of her, and they turned around in their seats to look back at her. The goalkeeper's expression is unimpressed, and she raises her eyebrow as though to say really? Mapi lets out a silent laugh when she looks over at Lola, rolling her eyes at the brunette for good measure.

The defender looks between Marta and Misa with big eyes, gesturing between the two of them. Marta rolls her eyes before she types out another message, pressing send more forcefully than she needs to.

Marta Cardona: Okay, okay, I get it! But seriously you two, I need you to tell me that I’m not just being delusional.

Lola Gallardo: You aren’t being delusional - Lola and Mapi <3

Marta Cardona: How are you so sure? Did she tell you?

Lola Gallardo: She didn’t have to. She talks about you all the time, she constantly seeks you out, and she looks at you like you single handedly make the sun come up each morning. You make her happy Marta, I can promise you that it’s you she wants. Nobody else.

Marta Cardona: Why hasn’t she ever said anything?

Lola Gallardo: I’m pretty positive that she’s not sure you feel the same way.

Marta Cardona: Oh…

Lola Gallardo: Nothing a single conversation can’t fix. Sooner rather than later please, because I might have to rip off my own ears if I have to listen to her pine after you one more time.

Marta Cardona: Oh can it Gallardo, we all know you’re ten times worse when you talk about Cristina.

Lola Gallardo: No comment.

Marta can’t help but let out a snort of laughter at the text, and Misa shifts under her but doesn’t wake up, instead simply pressing more into the brunette’s body. Marta snuggles down into the feeling, completely content to let the goalie sleep against her for the rest of the journey back to the hotel.

—

Marta stands outside of Misa’s hotel room, shifting her weight nervously from foot to foot as she works up the courage to knock on the goalkeeper's door. She’s suddenly grateful they all have their own room this camp, because then she’d have to deal with not only her romantic declaration, but also getting Misa by herself to tell her said feelings.

Marta had been hyping herself up for the last hour to do this, and her stomach is nothing but twists of nervous knots. She knows that no matter what, whether this goes well or badly, at the end of the line this conversation will likely change their relationship.

She can only hope that it isn’t going to go horribly, because she isn’t sure she’d be able to handle the embarrassment of rejection in a graceful manner.

All she can think in her head is of the possibility for error here, all the possible ways that Misa could reject her. There seem to be a million different bad scenarios, the possibilities are really endless.

So despite the fact that she is standing here at Misa’s door, she can’t quite bring herself to lift her hand and knock, even though she knows that she needs to.

But she also knows that she can’t go back to her hotel room, back to this holding pattern that she and Misa have. Someone needs to address this, and apparently it isn’t going to be Misa.

The winger lifts her right arm, knocking sharply three times against the wood door before she steps back, letting out a rattling breath.

It takes just a few seconds before the door flies open, revealing Misa in the doorway of her hotel room. She has on shorts and a t-shirt, her hair still drawn up lazily in a bun atop her head, a few strands of hair coming loose, falling down and framing her face.

She looks down at Marta with a soft smile, her head cocked to the side in a silent question. She’s clearly more than a little surprised to see the winger on her doorstep later at night, though Marta could never possibly be unwelcome in her space.

“Hey,” Misa greeted, a half smile pulling at her lips as she watched the winger stand at her doorstep. Marta looked visibly nervous, and she swallowed roughly as she looked past Misa, over her shoulder and into the Spaniard’s room.

“Hey, could I come in?” Marta asks, and she’s hardly finished her sentence before Misa is nodding, stepping back to allow Marta to step past her and into the room.

The winger stands facing away from Misa for a moment, wringing her hands together before she turns back to Misa, who is still standing by the now closed door, her confusion evident in her expression.

“Everything okay?” Misa inquires softly, her concern clear in her tone. Marta softens at the words, and she’s opening her mouth to assure Misa that everything is fine.

Except, that isn’t what ends up coming out of her mouth.

“You’re a really scary person,” Marta blurts out, her own eyes widening when she realizes what she said, and Misa’s confusion grows at the winger’s words, her eyebrows furrowing further.

“Uh…thank you?” Misa answered, unsure of what Marta was really getting at. The goalkeeper was more than aware that some people found her intimidating, but she wasn’t sure what that had to do with Marta. Marta shook her head gently, cursing herself at having managed to fuck this up straight from the get go.

“No, no, that’s not what I mean…I mean you’re really scary, but not to me you aren’t. Like everyone else is really intimidated by you but I’ve never thought of you that way,” Marta explained, and Misa’s eyebrows rose in surprise as she nodded slowly, still not really following Marta’s train of thought.

“Oh…well that’s good. I don’t want you to think of me that way,” Misa replied slowly, and Marta wants to groan, because the goalkeeper is clearly not getting what she is saying.

“No Misa I’m trying to–I like you!” Marta huffs out, and Misa freezes, her whole body tensing as she stares at Marta.

“You…do?” Misa asks gently, and Marta nods, bringing her hand up to chew on her thumbnail nervously.

“Yeah, like…as more than just a friend…you know like in a uh…romantic way. And if you don’t feel the same way that’s fine but I just wanted you to know so that we were on the same page and well I didn’t want to just be dishonest about my feelings cause that isn’t fai–” Marta rambles, and Misa carefully cuts her off after a moment, her own cheeks twinged pink.

“I like you too,” Misa admits, and Marta’s rambling comes to an abrupt stop. The winger can do nothing but blink for a few seconds, not quite processing Misa’s words.

“You…you do?” Marta questions after a second, and Misa nods easily, a small smile tugging on her lips.

“Oh…well that makes things a lot easier than I thought it would be,” Marta offers with a weak chuckle, and Misa’s head tips back in laughter at the clear surprise that is laced in the brunette’s tone.

“Did you expect me not to say that? Cause if so, I’ve done a bad job of making it incredibly clear that I’m a little obsessed with you,” Misa teased lightly.

“Just a little?” Marta volleyed back, and Misa could only smirk in response, delighting in the way that Marta’s face instantly flushed red, the winger ducking her head as she bit her lip.

Oh god, the things Misa would do to feel those lips on hers.

Marta looks back up at Misa after a second, at the distance between the two. She’s only a few paces into the room, but the goalkeeper is still standing back at the door, unmoving.

“Well…what should we do now?” Marta asks, swallowing roughly as Misa’s gaze roves over her, down her figure and back up again, her intent quite clear.

“I could think of a few things…” Misa drawls, and Marta’s lips quirk up in a smirk as she saunters forward, her steps agonizingly slow.

She walks right into Misa’s personal space, forcing the taller woman to step backward until her back hits the door, and she lets out a breath at the feeling. Misa’s eyes jump from the brunette’s eyes to her lips and back again, and Marta smiles as she presses up on her tiptoes.

She stops just before her lips are on Misa’s, close enough that their breath mingles, and when she speaks, her lips just barely brush against the goalkeepers, teasing.

“Oh really? And what would that be?” Marta asks, and just like that the last of Misa’s self restraint snaps at the brunette’s words, and the goalie crashes her lips against Marta’s.

Despite the fact that she knew she was egging Misa on, the brunette can’t help but gasp into the kiss, surprised by Misa’s eagerness.

Her lips are soft against Martas, and she tastes like peppermint chapstick and a hint of chocolate as she insistently presses her lips to the winger’s. Marta wraps her arms up and around Misa’s neck, pulling the goalkeeper into her even further.

Marta teases her tongue at the entrance of Misa’s mouth, and the goalkeeper is more than happy to allow her entrance, her throat making a desperate noise when Marta’s tongue swipes along the roof of her mouth.

Misa takes advantage of the fact that she has her hands at Marta’s hips, and she’s stepping forward and all but shoving the smaller brunette against the door with a huff. When she looks down, Marta is looking at her with hooded eyes and swollen lips and want buries itself deep in Misa’s pelvis, something hot and needy swirling around in her stomach.

Misa bends down just slightly, wrapping her arms wholly around Marta’s abdomen and lifting slightly. The winger understands her action almost as though she could hear Misa’s thoughts, wrapping her legs around Misa’s waist as the goalkeeper's arms anchor themselves on the brunette’s ass.

Marta has her arms still woven around Misa’s neck, and she brings her hand up to the bun sitting atop Misa’s head. Marta works her delicate, nimble fingers around the hair tie, removing it and smoothing Misa’s hair down with a smile on her lips.

The goalkeeper is struggling to control her breathing at the sight, and her breath hitches in her throat as Marta tugs at her scalp dully, anchoring herself in the dark strands of Misa’s hair as she reattaches her lips to Misa’s mouth.

Marta’s lips on hers are bruising and insistent, and their kisses have descended into something sloppy and hot and wonderful. A haze has settled over Misa, and all she feels is Marta around her, the feeling of the brunette in her arms. Marta weighs almost nothing, and suddenly all of those extra gym sessions feel as though they’ve paid off as the winger arches into the goalkeeper when Misa’s hands gently knead at her ass.

Marta’s head is thrown back slightly at the action as she lets out a whimper, and the creamy, soft skin of her neck is just staring Misa right in the eye. Misa can suddenly think of all the times that she found herself staring at Marta’s neck in the same exact way, whether it be during practice, or while they’re eating, or when they’re lifting.

The only difference is that now Misa can do something about it, and so she wastes absolutely no time in leaning forward to attach her lips to the delicate skin there. Her heart skips a beat at the soft, surprised whine that leaves Marta’s lips at the action, and she simply doubles down on her efforts.

Misa nips and sucks her way along Marta’s neck as she turns them around, heading blindly for the bed. She only pulls back when she feels the bedframe pressing against her knees, and she places a final open mouth kiss to the brunette’s rather sensitive neck before she carefully places her down on the bed, immediately coming to crawl up and over her.

The breath feels like it’s been stolen from Misa’s lungs as she looks at Marta, her hair fanned out on the pillow and looking up at the goalkeeper with hooded eyes, her pupils blown and a damn smirk across her lips.

Misa can’t help but crash her lips back against Marta’s, relishing in the way that suddenly Marta’s hands are everywhere. The brunette runs her hands over the goalkeeper's broad shoulders, then down her front, before she slips them under the taller woman’s shirt, running them up along Misa’s abs. The goalkeeper sucks in a breath at the feeling, her body shuddering more involuntarily than anything, and she can feel how Marta smiles into the kiss as a result.

Misa simply leans back, ripping her shirt up and off of herself as Marta leans up to do the same. Neither of the women are wearing a bra, and for a second Misa can only stare at the winger’s body, nothing in her brain except for how insanely attractive the winger is. Marta might be tiny compared to her, but that didn’t mean that the brunette was any less fit, her body lithe and completely toned.

Misa is so distracted by the line of muscles that are littered down the curves of Marta’s body that she doesn’t realize what is happening until she’s on her back, the winger looking down at her with a smirk after she had flipped them.

Marta leans in slowly, until her lips are resting gently on the shell of Misa’s ear, their chests pressed together.

“Much better,” Marta husks, and Misa’s back arches into the brunette’s chest as she lets out a groan, one that has Marta’s smile growing. The winger attaches her lips to the column of Misa’s throat, sucking deeply at the skin behind her ear that has Misa a whimpering mess under her.

Marta works down the goalkeeper's throat, sucking at her collarbone and down to her chest. Misa can hardly breathe she’s so overcome with pleasure, and she doesn’t even bother to be embarrassed at how loud she’s being when Marta wraps her lips around her nipple, her other hand coming to play with the other side of her chest.

Marta flattens her tongue against Misa’s peaked nipple as the goalkeeper arches into the feeling, keening whines and groans tumbling from her lips at the brunette’s careful ministrations. Misa has one hand fisted in the sheets and the other holding the back of Marta’s head, keeping her pressed to her chest as her head is thrown back in pleasure.

Marta works her way down, sucking deep red marks into the underside of Misa’s chest before she lets herself work even further downward, running her tongue along the lines of the goalkeeper's abs, which ripple under her touch.

“God, I’ve thought about doing this an unhealthy amount,” Marta breathes out as she splays her hands along the tanned, muscled skin of Misa’s stomach as she scratches down her abs, and the corresponding moan that Misa releases is music to the brunette’s ears.

Marta presses a kiss to each individual ab before she continues even further south, stopping when she reaches the goalkeeper's waistband, a silent question on her face.

Misa doesn’t even bother answering with words, she simply lifts her hips off the bed with urgency, allowing for Marta to pull her shorts and underwear off quickly, leaving the dark haired woman completely bare on the bed. Marta takes the chance to rid herself of her own pants and underwear as well before she turns her attention back to Misa.

The brunette brings her lips to the inside of Misa’s thigh, pressing a kiss to the skin on the inside of her knee before she works her way up, her breath ghosting right over where Misa wanted her the most before she repeated the action on the other leg.

Misa is practically vibrating under her as Marta fans out, kissing up and over the goalkeeper's hip bone as Misa lets out a frustrated groan, her hips canting up as her grip on the sheets tighten.

“Please,” Misa urged, and Marta decides to take pity on her, quitting her teasing.

The first run of Marta’s tongue through Misa has both women letting out a moan, Misa of relief and Marta of want. Marta brings her tongue back to the apex of Misa’s thighs as the goalkeeper's hips roll down to meet her mouth.

Marta is as precise in bed as she is on the football pitch, and it hardly takes her any time at all to work Misa up, the goalkeeper a bumbling mess under her careful ministrations.

Marta circles her tongue over Misa’s clit with a smooth rhythm, letting the Spaniard’s hips roll down into her as her breath comes out in gasps. It’s when she’s close that Marta finally inserts not one but two fingers into Misa, smiling as the goalkeeper lets out an unabashedly loud moan that sounds suspiciously like Marta’s name.

It only takes a few more minutes of both Marta’s mouth and fingers, quirked in just the right way, for Misa to be screaming out her name, her whole body going rigid against Marta. Misa lets out a guttural groan as her thighs tighten around the brunette’s head and hand, holding her in place as her eyes stay squeezed shut and her body shudders through orgasm.

It takes her a few moments, but after a small period of time Misa’s whole body relaxes back into the mattress as she lets out a deep sigh, releasing Marta from the grip she’s had on her.

The brunette brings her fingers up to her mouth, swirling her tongue around to clean them before she releases them with a pop, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Marta leans in cheekily, kissing her way back up Misa’s body, all the way to her throat before she shifts to the side, collapsing on her back on the mattress next to Misa. She has absolutely no expectation of the goalkeeper returning the favor, she’s enjoyed getting to have Misa under her finally far too much, but it seems that the prospect of having her way with Marta is actually the only thing on Misa’s mind.

“Oh no you don’t,” the goalkeeper husks as she wraps her arm around the winger’s waist, pulling her back up and settling the brunette against her lower abdomen, right above her hip bone.

Marta lets out an involuntary harsh breath as her bare center settles against Misa’s abs, and her breath stutters in her chest at both the display of strength that Misa could pull her up here so easily, and at the smirk that Misa currently has painted on her lips.

“You’re wet,” Misa observes as Marta shifts above her, and it’s the wingers turn to smirk as she nods coyly, a wry smile on her face.

“Only for you,” Marta promises quietly, and Misa lets out a harsh breath as she grips the brunette’s waist just a hair too tightly, pulling the winger forward and rocking her hips against Misa. Marta sighed in relief as she rocked her hips back and forward against Misa’s abs, understanding what the goalkeeper was trying to get her to do. It becomes easier for her to rock back and forth as her wetness coats Misa’s abs, giving her a slick surface to slide against as Misa’s hands help keep her movement steady.

The goalkeeper tightens the muscles in her abdomen with ease, giving Marta a harder surface to grind down against. The pressure isn’t enough to fully get her off, it’s not specific enough, but it still sends waves of pleasure down her spine with each rock of her hips, each brush of her clit against the hard ridges of Misa’s abs.

Especially as Misa watches her, her pupils blown and her cheeks flushed as she stares at the brunette unabashedly, her eyes dark and filled with want. Marta’s hair flows down her back, her chest arched up as she grinds her hips down again and again and again until Misa’s stomach is a complete mess, not that she gave a flying fuck. The air is thick with sex and sweat and the winger’s hips are jumping erratically as she presses even further into Misa, and the goalkeeper can tell that the brunette is starting to grow frustrated, her breathing becoming more labored as she gets more and more worked up, unable to actually finish.

Misa removes her dominant hand from Marta’s hips as her nondominant hand slows the rocking of Marta’s hips. The brunette’s head snaps to Misa, only for her to understand when she feels Misa’s hand tease at her center. Marta has her knees on either side of Misa, and she rises up so that Misa can snake her hand between the wingers legs.

Misa runs her fingers through Marta once experimentally, her fingers sliding easily through the brunette, who lets out a ragged sigh at the feeling.

But Misa isn’t cruel, and as soon as she’s done that does she slips a finger inside of the winger as Marta’s hips rut down at the feeling, a whine tumbling from her lips. Misa smiles to herself as she curls her finger deep in the winger.

“Misa please – oh fuck!” Marta cries out as the goalkeeper quietly adds a second finger, and the brunette’s hips roll down on it with reckless abandon, chasing the high that she can feel curling in her lower stomach already.

The brunette is barely saying anything coherent as she chases her orgasm, and she’s all but chanting Misa’s name as the goalkeeper's fingers curl inside of her, the rhythm demanding and everything that Marta needs right now.

The thing that finally pushes Marta over the edge is when she opens her eyes, tipping toward as she presses a hand onto Misa’s sternum, and the change in angle of her hip pushes the goalkeepers fingers inside of her even further as her eyes rove over that gorgeous fucking smirk that tugs at Misa’s lips.

The coil deep within Marta snaps, and her hips push down harshly as she shudders, her body taught as her eyes slam shut and her head snaps back, a moan wrenching itself out from deep within her chest.

Marta can hardly breathe from the strength of her orgasm as it rips through her, and if it wasn’t for Misa’s hands that brought her down gently she probably would have simply flopped down onto the goalkeeper, her limbs suddenly feeling like jelly. But Misa would never let that happen, simply tucking the brunette into her neck as she wrapped her arms around her back, their bodies relaxing into one another.

Misa peppers kisses to the crown of Marta’s head as the winger catches her breath slowly, and it’s a few minutes before the brunette can pull her head back to look at Misa properly. The taller woman brings her fingers up to tuck a stray strand of hair that fell into her face behind her ear, and Marta leans easily into the action with a tiny smile.

The winger simply tucks herself back into Misa’s neck with a happy sigh, leaning forward to press a kiss to the smooth, sweaty skin she finds there. Misa simply rubs her hand up and down Marta’s back, tracing small shapes into the warm expanse of her back with the pads of her fingers.

“Shower?” Misa asks softly, and Marta nods but makes no move to go anywhere. After a few moments Misa shifts under her, but the brunette simply grips onto Misa more tightly, refusing to let go of the goalkeeper.

“Mmm…don’t wanna leave you,” Marta mumbles into Misa’s neck, and she relishes in the soft rumble of laughter that Misa lets out, a noise that the winger both hears and feels from the goalkeeper's chest, her whole body still pressed against Misa.

“Well luckily for you, I have a solution,” Misa whispers with amusement, engaging her core as she sits up, adjusting Marta in her arms before she stands, the brunette held in her arms bridal style. Misa couldn’t wipe the grin off her face for anything when Marta squeals happily at the action, her arms wrapping around Misa’s neck as she laughs lightly, a huge smile on her face.

One of Marta’s hands slides around to gently cup Misa’s cheek in her hand, her thumb brushing up and down the soft skin of Misa’s cheek, and she watches as the taller woman’s eyes flutter shut, a soft puff of air leaving her chest at the feeling as she presses her forehead against Misa’s.

When she finally opens her eyes, Marta is looking at her with nothing but deep adoration in her eyes, clearly completely enamored with the goalkeeper, same as she always has been.

Misa can do nothing in return but lean forward to press her lips against Marta’s, soft and secure and everything she could have ever hoped for it to be.

#misa rodriguez x marta cardona #misa rodriguez #marta cardona #woso fanfics #woso #woso one shot

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shy-nightmare · 2 months ago

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Toon Patrol Headcannons!

Now that Chapter 7 has been posted, it’s time to do some headcannons! I got this idea from Rainbows, Kit and Slash who have done their own versions and of course, I have to share this with you guys! 😁

So in my AU, the weasels are naturally-born Toons who are born and bred in the Tooniverse, and they have real names. The ones they’re addressed as are nicknames, but don’t let that stop you from loving them 💗💚💙🧡❤

Credit for inspiration goes to @marinerainbow, @just-kit-ink and @slashingdisneypasta A.K.A. @wicked1will0sparkles. Please go check out their own wonderful content! ^^

Smartass 🔫💎🔫

Smartass’s real name is Lorenzo Davide Lander. I named him after the late David L. Lander. RIP Lander, you were a legend 💔

He and Stupid are half-brothers (two different mothers, but share one father), and Smarty is the big brother. After reading Rainbows’ HC post, I remembered that Stu is the only one Smarty didn’t bonk with the plunger and honestly, that makes sense! So they’re brothers and yes, it’s canon. Fight me 👊

Smartass’s criminal life started when he was a teen wiseguy. OK, if you’ve watched Goodfellas and Newsies, Smartass’s criminal career started early like Henry Hill’s. But while Henry started as an errand boy, Smartass started as a newsboy and not before long, he became one of the most well-respected and feared newsboys in all of New York since Spot Conlon. And the sad thing is he actually tried to make an honest living out of it. But given how badly mistreated he was because he’s a weasel and not to mention his family’s financial situation, you gotta do what it takes to survive.

One of his early crimes was smuggling alcohol in the newspapers, but also identity fraud to cover his tracks when he got older and left for L.A... That explains why he has so many names (Smartguy, Wiseguy, etc.) He also grew up in Brooklyn, and he often got into a lot of brawls which earned him a feared reputation even before he became a mob boss.

This is for shits and giggles, but Smartass doesn’t understand why people call him Cagney 🤣. I learned from @just-kit-ink that he was inspired by the great James Cagney (RIP King, you were one of the greatest legends of all time 💔), so imagine how hilarious it’d be if he doesn’t get why people call him that. Smarty, my guy, look 👏him 👏 up 👏!

Smartass’s favorite hobby is watching crime films. Goodfellas, Scarface, The Godfather, you name it. It’s one of the finer things he loves in life besides his fashion and collection of jewelry! He will even write his own analysis and review for any crime movie that strikes his fancy, listing their quirks, differences and similarities into great detail.

Greasy 🔫💚🔫

Greasy has a very long name. His real name is Diego Valentin Alejandro Ramon Ignacio Salvador Rodriguez.

He is the silly pervert we all know and love, but there is a DAMN good reason why Smartass chose him as his right-hand man, and not just because they’re besties. While Smartass handles the operations, plans, business deals, and other tasks crime lords deal with, Greasy handles a majority of interrogations thanks to his talent in the art of intimidation and his intuitive, psychological ability to figure out who people are and predict what they will do based on their actions; body language, composure, and reactions to certain things if they are brought in for questioning. In other words, the man can read people. And he will know if you’re lying.

He is also skilled at combat. Smartass may have grown up in Brooklyn, but Greasy grew up in the toughest spot of Puerto Rico; “La Perla” in San Juan. He’ll fight with his fists if he needs to, but it’s his switchblade you should watch out for. Why? Greasy is a terrifying champion at La Verdadera Destreza, the Spanish tradition of fencing. He comes from a proud legacy of thieves and swordfighters, and he’s got enough skill to make Puss in Boots green with envy. You may think he’s bragging, but he ain’t playing. One wrong move and he’ll slice you to ribbons with his sword.

OK, this is cursed and may God forgive me 🙏, but Greasy and Jessica used to date. I see fanart of him drooling over her even though she is happily married (the hound 🙄) and then I saw this TikTok of them being exes. Not to mention, he focuses on her out of everyone. That’s about to change real damn quick I don’t know why she dated him, but I’m pretty sure their relationship didn’t last long. That being said, Greasy does have some experience. He just doesn’t get lucky often 🤣

He is a connoisseur of porn; magazines, PornHub, erotic novels, you name it. But when he’s not chasing after women or busy doing his job, he’s actually a talented chef. He is Marco Pierre White, Albert Roux, Guy Savoy and Joël Robuchon rolled into one. Smartass is decent, Stu does know how to cook (Greasy needs to learn how to share), and Wheezy and Psycho are B A N N E D from cooking after what happened after last time and the time before that😅, so Greasy is also in charge of the kitchen. And if you think Tom’s bad enough, even Wheezy knows better than to step into the kitchen when Greasy’s cooking. And yes, he and Smartass fight over culinary rights 😂.

Greasy has many different hobbies, but his favorite is stargazing. On rare occasions, he’ll be on the rooftop or somewhere that’s nice and secluded and he’ll spend hours looking at the stars, he’ll even count them. He doesn’t want to be disturbed if he’s stargazing, and don’t ask why if you’re not close to him. That’s his personal private business. ��

Wheezy 🔫🚬🔫

Wheezy’s real name is Cobalt Junius Foray. I named him after the wonderful June Foray.

Obviously, he’d be an armorer, the weapons specialist of the gang. From small firearms to long-range snipers and assault rifles, Wheezy knows all about the types and brands of guns. And he even knows how deadly and efficient guns are. Toon Patrol Headquarters possesses a private armory, and Wheezy has full authority over it. He takes great pride in looking after the armory.

You guys are gonna think I’m insane, but I imagine Wheezy to have some sort of medical profession as well as a crooked cop. You’re like, “Pfft, yeah right. Him? A medic? Girl, have you seen his chain-smoking ass? He smokes 17-250 packs of Marlboro religiously, hell he even wears his cigarettes!”. But hear me out; this is the most chaotic “law enforcement” operation in Toontown and due to their criminal history, hospitals are forbidden. And there’s never a day of peace without one of them breaking shit, getting a violent a sugar rush, and getting pepper-sprayed in the eyes cough Greasy cough even when they don’t have a case, so having Wheezy for a medic is probably one of the smartest ideas Smartass made while organizing the Patrol.

Wheezy has two accents. He was born and raised Cockney, but he also speaks with a Southern accent. I saw artwork of him as Clint Eastwood and a post of him dressing up as a cowboy for Halloween once, and if I ever hear him say “Howdy, sugar~” in my dreams, I will explode 😳. So that being said, Wheezy is a British cowboy weasel. But he’ll only speak with a Southern accent if he feels like it.

He is the second strongest member of the pack, next to Stupid. Wheezy may be a chain-smoking walking toothpick, but if you piss him off badly, he’ll give you a mean punch to the face you’ll never wake up from. Not only is he good at target practice, but he’s also good at fighting. Left-hooks, right-hooks, swift kicks, the list goes on. His only weakness is that he can’t run very well. You may be able to outrun him, but you’ll never outrun his fists. Or his bullets.

Wheezy does have a favorite hobby and no, it’s not smoking. He doesn’t share a lot about himself, but he loves to read. While Greasy watches the stars at night, Wheezy would be chilling in his room reading a good story. His personal preference is westerns, but he also likes to read poetry. And when he’s really deep in thought, he’ll share a few quotes that may come across as advice or he’s giving you death threats ⚰💀⚰.

Psycho 🔪💣🔪

Psycho’s real name is Charles Paul Fleischer. I know Charles also voiced Greasy, but I didn’t wanna confuse you with their surnames😅 If you wanna stay alive, just call him Psycho

Rainbows mentioned that at the Roger Rabbit Car Toon Spin, Psycho has a gift in engineering, and I think that would be the perfect role for him in the gang other than being a guard dog! He may be a little kooky in the head, but he’s got keen skills in technology and/or electricity. Cutting the wires for sneak attacks or break-ins, hotwiring cars, putting Benny the Cab out of “commission”, etc.

He has an animalistic side of him; it’s part of his nature. For example, he sleeps like a puppy. No joke, he’ll make himself comfortable whether he’s in his bedroom or snuggling next to Stu if he has a nightmare and he will curl up like a puppy. Isn’t that cute 🥺? And before you ask, yes, he will give you the puppy eyes if he wants something like candy or killing people 🔪. He will also imitate other people’s conversations exactly like a parrot, and because he likes to creep them out, he will even repeat what they said in their own voices. And if he catches a bad vibe from someone or if he or his pack is threatened, he will growl then attack you.

Psycho does have a wardrobe full of other clothing, but he mostly prefers to wear his straitjacket. Some of his outfits include Halloween costumes, tuxedos and onesie pajamas. He feels more comfortable wearing a straitjacket than a T-shirt. It’s also because he doesn’t want anyone to look at his scars, and there are a lot of them. His eye swirls also change colors; they represent the Emotions from Inside Out and Inside Out 2 (yellow is neutral/happiness, blue is sadness, green is envy/disgust, red is anger, purple is fear, and pink is love).

While Stu is the strongest, Psycho is the fastest. This is one of his predatory instincts, when he’s catching “criminals” he’s catching prey. The game of cat-and-mouse gets his adrenaline going, and he’s fast enough to give Speedy Gonzales and Roadrunner a run for their money. The only way to prevent being caught is to either outrun him or come up with a clever strategy to escape while hiding.

Psycho’s favorite hobby is juggling. He didn’t want to work at a circus, but he really enjoys juggling and he’s really good with his hands. And he will juggle just about anything; razors, firesticks, cannonballs, anything. He once juggled lit-up bombs while riding a unicycle at Headquarters and the place went up in smoke. Since then, Psycho is permanently B A N N E D from juggling in the house.

Stupid 💪⚾💪

Stu’s real name is Frederick Newman (Lander). I named him after Fred Newman who voiced him. But don’t ever call him Frederick, he doesn’t like it

I’ve seen artwork of him playing baseball, and that is evidence he loves sports. Smartass encourages him to practice baseball for “work purposes”, but Stu can tell his big brother knows how much he loves baseball. So he can use his baseball bat for fun and for work, which is a win-win for them both! He also collects baseball cards, but if you give him a ticket for his birthday to go see his favorite games on live, he will be your best friend forever 😊

Stu is both dyslexic and he has ADHD. He legitimately struggles to read and concentrate, but Smartass and the others will NEVER bully him for that. He likes it when people read to him, though; Psycho is the one who reads to him the most, Wheezy actually likes to share his novels with him, and Greasy is FORBIDDEN from reading to him. Take a wild guess 🤣. And Smartass does read to him when he has the time, he really does.

After he and the others come back to life, revive his brother, and return to Toontown, Stu would enjoy Scooby-Doo. He loves cartoons and classic Disney movies, but Scooby-Doo is definitely one of his favorites! That’s his preference in terms of horror; he HATES human-themed gory or thriller horror movies, and he’ll cry if you make him watch one not to mention Smarty will kill you for making his baby brother cry💀☠💀 .

Stu was born a weasel, he identifies as a weasel, but according to me everyone, he’s just a baby 👶. He really can’t do anything wrong. He’s just a baby 🥺! OK, this just gave me a silly thought, but Psycho once asked him if Stu was a bagel the first time they met, and he tried to “eat” him. Smarty never forgave him for that 🤣.

Besides playing sports, Stu has another hobby. He loves to make art, mostly drawing and painting. And he will make art out of crayons, markers, clay, and even food! Wheezy tells him not to play with his food because it’s not good table manners, but Stu believes food art is part of enjoying a good meal 😋.

The Weasel Mafia

This is a theory I’ve had for years now, and I shared this with @lastofautumn. @weaselnerd, you’re gonna love this! So I’ll be honest, I don’t think the weasels knew that Doom was a Toon. In the movie, Toons face a lot of prejudice and discrimination, but weasels have it really damn rough. They’re often bullied, rejected, and even attacked or killed because society does not see them as anything or anyone other than what they are. And to add salt to their wounds, they don’t even earn enough money to properly support their families! See, that’s Smartass’s situation as a newsboy. The others’ childhoods were just as rough, which I’ll share in a future post.

Not to mention, most humans weren’t any better the few times the weasels encountered them. So I think they may have worked for Doom in promises of a better future and also out of revenge and complete resentment for those who have mistreated them. In their eyes, Doom was the ONLY person in existence who saw true potential in them, and they thought he’d respect them as equals. That’s probably another reason why they sided with him.

But because he covered his tracks so well, they didn’t even catch a hint of his odd, “quirky” behavior. Like how he fell for Eddie’s trick, or how he comically slipped on those fake eyeballs, or how he even flinched when the Dip came too close to him. 🛑 RED FLAGS! HE’S A TOON 🛑! And there’s no way he wasn’t gonna kill them once Toontown was gone 💔. I know that is heartbreaking and I don’t blame you guys for being upset, but remember, Doom only saw them as nothing more than his bumbling, useful lackeys. THAT’S how horrible he was 😡. Plus, if they knew Doom was gonna kill them, they wouldn’t have hesitated to take him down.

Smartass said he’s got “deformants”, so that implies he runs a much bigger operation other than the Toon Patrol, not to mention Slimy and Flasher were supposed to be in the movie Disney, you lazy bastards 😒. Due to his influence and power over Downtown Toontown, Smartass is one of the biggest and most dangerous crime bosses in all of Toontown given what he’s wanted for in his poster (he’s wanted in 13 states for Toonnapping, assault with a silly weapon, petty larceny, grand larceny, and really grand larceny. Add breaking-and-entering, property damage, treason, mass murders including unlawful Toon executions, attempted genocide and attempted murder).

They’ll scoff and lie if you ask them, but Smartass and Greasy are besties maybe even friends with benefits 👀. Obviously Psycho and Stu are BFFS, and Wheezy is the tired, disgruntled dad of the group who’s done with their shit. This man needs a vacation 🤣😂🤣

If Wheezy is the grumpy dad, then Greasy is definitely the crazy mama of the gang. Speaking of which, there’s another reason why he is scary. If Smartass can use a plunger as a “de-laughing” device, Greasy is also armed with La Chancla. According to legend, its power level is over 9,000. In other words, you will get annihilated if you get struck by La Chancla. Pick your poison ☠.

Wherever they go, they go together. It’s really rare to see one or more of them going out on their own, even so most Toons clear the path. Stu can handle going out on his own too, just as long he tells his brother or the others where he’s going so they can find him if he’s gone for too long. Psycho CANNOT be trusted to go out by himself when he’s not involved in a mission; ask the owner of the ice cream parlor 😅.

Because they’re Toons, they don’t age as much as humans do. But they are a little older than the twins, so if I were to give them an age number, Stu would be 25, Smarty would be 30, Psycho would be 27, Greasy 33, and Wheezy would be 40. And from tallest to shortest are Greasy, Wheezy, Stupid, Psycho and Smarty (They have a tie! 😲).

#Toon Patrol Headcannons YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!! 🥳#Smartass Weasel #Greasy Weasel #Wheezy Weasel #Psycho Weasel #Stupid Weasel #Toon Patrol #Who Framed Roger Rabbit #WFRR #I hope you guys enjoy this! 😊

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