#kim saeed

[seeking-phantoms]

If you are In a relationship that is toxic and the individual is a**sive in any way and you need out but don’t know what to do, read:

“How to do No Contact Like a Boss” by Kim Saeed

Download a sample first from Amazon to see if it will help you. And if that first paragraph resonates with you, buy the ebook to help you.

If you think you need out, most likely you do. I’m not a therapist but someone who is in the middle of the storm currently and finding the help that I need to make the best choice for me and my recovery and mental health.

Remember:

YOU ARE NOT AND NEVER ALONE.

[asoftepiloguemylove]

on death and rebirth

Ottessa Moshfegh My Year of Rest and Relaxation / @fadedkawasaki / 重庆森林 Chungking Express (1994) dir. 王家卫 Wong Kar-wai / Saeed Jones How We Fight for Our Lives / Katie Maria The Memory of a Memory / Ursula Le Guin Dragonfly; The Tales from Earthsea / 벌새 House of Hummingbird (2018) dir. 김보라 Kim Bora / pinterest

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

Books by BIPOC Authors August 2023

🦇 I grew up surrounded by a melting pot of cultures, diverse communities, and unique experiences. Despite the different sources of those multicultural voices, their stories still covered universal topics of colonialism, migration, identity, and race. Each story was another flavor, another sweet spice adding to that melting pot. Today, we have books by BIPOC authors that put those unique voices to the page. If you're interested in traveling to different worlds, whether familiar or foreign, here are a few books by BIPOC authors to add to your TBR! 🦇

✨ Tomb Sweeping by Alexandra Chang ✨ The Dark Place by Britney S. Lewis ✨ Forged by Blood by Ehigbor Okuson ✨ Accidentally in Love by Danielle Jackson ✨ A Council of Dolls by Mona Susan Power ✨ Still Born by Guadalupe Nettel, translated by Rosalind Harvey ✨ The Injustice of Place: Uncovering the Legacy of Poverty in America by Kathryn J. Edin, H. Luke Shaefer, Timothy J. Nelson ✨ Hangman by Maya Binyam ✨ The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBride (Historical Fiction) ✨ Under the Tamarind Tree by Nigar Alam ✨ Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas ✨ An American Immigrant by Johanna Rojas Vann

🧭 Forgive Me Not by Jennifer Baker 🧭 Two Tribes by Emily Bowen Cohen 🧭 A Quantum Life: My Unlikely Journey from the Street to the Stars by Hakeem Oluseyi and Joshua Horwitz 🧭 Writing in Color: Fourteen Writers on the Lessons We've Learned (edited by) Nafiza Azad and Melody Simpson 🧭 Ghost Book by Remy Lai 🧭 The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang 🧭 Plantains and Our Becoming by Melania Luisa Marte 🧭 Forty Words for Love by Aisha Saeed 🧭 The Great White Bard: How to Love Shakespeare While Talking About Race by Farah Karim-Cooper 🧭 Take the Long Way Home by Rochelle Alers 🧭 Swim Home to the Vanished by Brendan Shay Basham 🧭 Actually Super by Adi Alsaid

✨ Never a Hero by Vanessa Len ✨ I Fed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me by Jamison Shea ✨ The Infinity Particle by Wendy Xu ✨ Night of the Living Queers, edited by Shelly Page ✨ Sign of the Slayer by Sharina Harris ✨ Her Radiant Curse by Elizabeth Lim ✨ My Father the Panda Killer by Jamie Jo Hoang ✨ Barely Floating by Lilliam Rivera ✨Happiness Falls by Angie Kim ✨ A Tall Dark Trouble by Vanessa Montalban ✨ Neverwraith by Shakir Rashaan ✨ House of Marionne by J. Elle

[cloudbeam]

Do you have any book recommendations?

I know this is late but these, lately:

This Is How You Lose the Time War - Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

Animal - Lisa Taddeo

Your Emergency Contact Has Experienced an Emergency - Chen Chen

My Heart Is A Chainsaw - Stephen Graham Jones

In the Dream House - Carmen Maria Machado

Bliss Montage: Stories - Ling Ma

When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi

A Cruelty Special to Our Species - Emily Jungmin Moon

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous & Time is a Mother - Ocean Vuong

Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude - Ross Gay

Alive At the End Of the World - Saeed Jones

And lately, anything by Kim Addonizio. Of course Gabor Maté’s In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, but it’s not a “leisure” read, just a perpetual reread for my own recovery. Beloved, as always. And my lit tag is full of (mostly poetry) but also prose excerpts I adore. <3

[bookclub4m]

Episode 182 - Lyric Poetry

This episode we’re talking about the format of Lyric Poetry! We talk about reading poetry out loud, translation, French Canadian dialects, and more!

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray | Jam Edwards

Things We Read (or tried to…)

Entre Rive and Shore by Dominique Bernier-Cormier

Let Us Believe in the Beginning of the Cold Season: Selected Poems by Forugh Farrokhzad, translated by Elizabeth T. Gray Jr

Ledger: Poems by Jane Hirshfield

Rapture by Carol Ann Duffy

Goldenrod: Poems by Maggie Smith 

Good Bones: Poems by Maggie Smith 

Alive At The End Of The World by Saeed Jones

The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes on by Franny Choi 

No Matter the Wreckage by Sarah Kay 

White Pine: Poems and Prose Poems by Mary Oliver

Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head by Warsan Shire

Le premier coup de clairon pour réveiller les femmes immorales by Rachel McCrum

The Hurting Kind by Ada Limón

The Arkansas Testament by Derek Walcott 

Alive at the End of the World by Saeed Jones

Other Media We Mentioned

The Bronze Horseman by Alexander Pushkin

19 Ways of Looking at Wang Wei: With More Ways by Eliot Weinberger

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe

“The Fish” by Elizabeth Bishop

When We Were Very Young by A. A Milne

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein  

The Inferno of Dante: A New Verse Translation by Dante Alighieri, translated by Robert Pinsky

All Def Poetry 

milk and honey by rupi kaur

One Piece by Eiichiro Oda

Trailer for Netflix show

“Poetry Is Not a Luxury” by Audre Lorde (pdf)

Links, Articles, and Things

Lyric poetry (Wikipedia)

The Writer's Block

The Midnight Library: Episode 001 - Halloween Poetry

Chiac (Wikipedia)

Plasco Building (Wikipedia)

30 Recent Poetry Collections by BIPOC Authors

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

This booklist features books from BIPOC poets published in the past three years.

Chrome Valley by Mahogany L. Browne

Feast by Ina Cariño

Your Emergency Contact Has Experienced an Emergency by Chen Chen

Girls That Never Die: Poems by Safia Elhillo

Content Warning: Everything by Akwaeke Emezi

I Do Everything I'm Told by Megan Fernandes

Living Nations, Living Words: An Anthology of First Peoples Poetry edited by Joy Harjo

Song of my Softening by Omotara James

Spells, Wishes, and the Talking Dead / Mamaht́wisiwin, Pakos̊yimow, Nikihci-́niskot́ṕn : Poems by Wanda John-Kehewin

Burning Like Her Own Planet by Vandana Khanna

Phantom Pain Wings by Kim Hyesoon, translated by Don Mee Choi

Bianca by Eugenia Leigh

Finna by Nate Marshall

Slam Coalkan Performance Poetry: The Condor and the Eagle Meet edited by Jennifer Murrin

God Themselves by Jae Nichelle

You Are Only Just Beginning: Lessons for the Journey Ahead by Morgan Harper Nichols

I’m Always So Serious by Karisma Price

Homie by Danez Smith

Blood Snow by dg nanouk okpik

Promises of Gold/Promesas de Oro by José Olivarez with translation by David Ruano

That Was Now, This is Then by Vijay Seshadri

it was never going to be okay by jaye simpson

Dark Testament by Crystal Simone Smith

Unshuttered: Poems by Patricia Smith

Falling Back in Love with Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls by Kai Cheng Thom

Femme in Public by Alok Vaid-Menon

Time Is a Mother by Ocean Vuong

Find Her. Keep Her. by Renaada Williams

Rupture Tense by Jenny Xie

From From by Monica Youn

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title for us to read!

Here’s Matthew’s limerick. Write your own!

There once was a book club for masochists Whose members delighted in making lists They all had a blast Co-hosting a podcast That their friendship will always persist

Check out our Tumblr, follow us on Instagram, join our Facebook Group, or send us an email!

Join us again on Tuesday, September 19th it’s time for our One Book One Podcast episode as we all discuss the book Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey!

Then on Tuesday, October 3rd get ready for Halloween because we’ll be talking about the genre of Horror!

[ipbchigi]

8 Ways Narcissists Alter Your Perception of Reality

By: Kim Saeed Please Click On The Link Below: https://kimsaeed.com/2017/07/07/8-ways-narcissists-can-alter-perception-reality/ The Author

[annethunderstorms]

My Year in Books 2023:

9,563 pages read

33 books read

Home by Toni Morrison

- historical fiction, race, trauma, family

- set in US (Georgia), Korea (Korean War) in 1950s

- main characters: Frank Money, Ysidra “Cee” Money

Lost Children Archive by Valeria Luiselli

- fiction, family, immigration, deportation

- set in US (New York to New Mexico/Arizona)

- main characters: unnamed mother, father and their two children

North: How to Live Scandinavian by Brontë Aurell

- nonfiction, lifestyle, culture

- set in Denmark, Norway, Sweden

Fox and I by Catherine Raven

- nonfiction, memoir, nature, environment, biology

- set in US (Montana)

How to Live Korean by Soo Kim

- nonfiction, lifestyle, culture

- set in South Korea

Exit West by Mohsin Hamid

- fiction, romance, dystopia, war, immigration

- set in Middle East, Greece (Mykonos), UK (London), US (San Francisco)

- main characters: Saeed, Nadia

Stars Between the Sun and Moon: One Woman’s Life in North Korea and Escape to Freedom by Lucia Jang

- nonfiction, memoir, oppression, survival

- set in North Korea, China in 1990s

Land of Snow and Ashes by Petra Rautiainen

- historical fiction, World War II, Sámi, mystery

- set in northern Finland in 1944, 1947-1950

- main characters: Inkeri Lindqvist, Olavi Heiskanen, Väinö Remes

This Wound Full of Fish by Lorena Salazar Masso

- fiction, motherhood

- set in Colombia (Atrato river)

- main characters: unnamed mother, unnamed boy, Gina

Kings of the Yukon: An Alaskan River Journey by Adam Weymouth

- nonfiction, nature, environment, memoir

- set in Yukon, Alaska

The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See

- historical fiction, family, tea, Akha culture, adoption

- set in China (Yunnan), US (California) between 1980-2016

- main characters: Li-yan, Haley Davis

Il guardiano della collina dei ciliegi (The Year Shizo Kanakuri Disappeared) by Franco Faggiani

- historical fiction, sports, solitude

- set in Japan, Sweden between 1900s en 1960s

- main character: Shizo Kanakuri

When Broken Glass Floats: Growing Up Under the Khmer Rouge by Chanrithy Him

- nonfiction, memoir, war, survival

- set in Cambodia in the 1970s

Violeta by Isabel Allende

- historical fiction, family saga

- set in Chile, US between 1920-2020

- main characters: Violeta del Valle, Camilo del Valle

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

- nonfiction, memoir, grief, loss

- set in US (NY and LA)

Butcher’s Crossing by John Williams

- historical fiction, western, nature, bison hunt

- set in US (Kansas, Colorado) in 1870

- main characters: Will Andrews, Miller, Charley Hoge, Fred Schneider

The Unseen (De usynlige) by Roy Jacobsen

- historical fiction, family saga, hardship

- set in northern Norway between 1910-1930

- main character: Ingrid Barrøy

White Shadow (Hvitt hav) by Roy Jacobsen

- historical fiction, family saga, hardship

- set in northern Norway in 1940s

- main character: Ingrid Barrøy

The Wind Knows My Name by Isabel Allende

- historical fiction, immigration, war

- set in Austria (Vienna), US (Arizona), El Salvador between 1938-2019

- main characters: Samuel Adler, Anita Díaz, Selena Dúran, Leticia Cordero

The Devil’s Highway: A True Story by Luis Alberto Urrea

- nonfiction, immigration, crime

- set on the Mexican/US border (Arizona)

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

- nonfiction, indigenous, nature, environment

- set in North America

Hearing Birds Fly by Louisa Waugh

- nonfiction, memoir, travel, culture

- set in Mongolia (Tsengel) in late 1990s

Betty by Tiffany McDaniel

- historical fiction, family saga, coming-of-age, loss, abuse

- set in US (Ohio) between 1900s-1970s

- main character: Betty Carpenter

To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf

- fiction, classic, modernism

- set in UK (Scotland) in 1920s

- main characters: Mrs Ramsay, Mr Ramsay, Lily Briscoe

Tracks: One Woman's Journey Across 1,700 Miles of Australian Outback by Robyn Davidson

- nonfiction, memoir, adventure, nature

- set in Australia in late 1970s

The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine by Ilan Pappé

- nonfiction, history, politics, war

- set in Palestine (Israel) in 1880s-1940s

Train to Tibet (De trein naar Tibet) by Maja Wolny

- nonfiction, travel, culture

- set in Russia, China

Sovietistan by Erika Fatland

- nonfiction, travel, culture, history

- set in Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa

- fiction, family, grief, cats

- set in Japan

- main characters: Nana the cat, Satoru Miyawaki

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

- fiction, magical realism, time travel, loss

- set in Japan

- main characters: Kazu Tokita, Kei Tokita, Nagare Tokita, Yaeko Hirai

Tales from the Café: Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

- fiction, magical realism, time travel, loss

- set in Japan

- main characters: Kazu Tokita, Nagare Tokita, Miki Tokita

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

- fiction, sci-fi, dystopia, humanity

- set in US

- main characters: a father and his son

Educated by Tara Westover

- nonfiction, memoir, family, religion

- set in US (Idaho)

[solplparty]

진 (Jin) 'The Astronaut' Official MV https://youtu.be/c6ASQOwKkhk 진 (Jin) 'The Astronaut' Official MV Credits: Director: Yong Seok Choi (Lumpens) 1st AD: Jihye Yoon (Lumpens) 2nd AD: Ran Ro (Lumpens) Director of Photography: Nam Hyunwoo (MOTHER) B Camera Operator: EumKo Focus Puller: Kim Eunki, Lee Youngwoo 2nd AC: Park Youngseo, Go Yuntae 3rd AC: Ahn Yeoeun LA Credits: Production Company: OUT OF OFFICE CO Executive Producer / Producer: Tiffany Suh Production Supervisor: Sina Pars Assistant Production Supervisor: Nina Nwachukwu 1st AD: Jesse Hays 2nd AD: April Mendoza Office PA: Collin Wade Client Liaison: Candy Yi Location Manager: Laura Dominguez, Alex Dominguez Camera Assistant: Robin Kim, Peter Byun Drone: Alex Castillo DIT: Miko Hughes Key Grip: Roman Reardon Best Boy Grip: Adam Urban Grip: Nick Deverian Production Designer: Arae Webner Art Coordinator: Michelle Hanzelova Set Decorator: Tyler Vogel Shopper: Katie DiFlore Prop Master: Hannah Olsen Prop Asst: Min-jay Kang Leadman: Camillo Castano On Set Dresser: Jason Nieblas Set Dresser: Kevin Ramon, Daniel Cosenza, Jeffrey Garcia, Andrew Kosum, Ian Buckley Featured Talent Stylist: Ann-Marie Hoang Set Teacher: Scott Plimpton Gang Boss: David Gonzalez Moho Drivers: Chris Mortimore, Rich Seitz, Darren Craig Stakebed: Dylan Myers Craft Services: Jimmy Campbell, Eva Scott Set Medic: Simon Kim, Jesus Ramos CCM: Alice Biletska CCA: Vlad Klimchuk PA: Josh Collins, Rudy Reyes, EJ Smith, Kyler Simmons, Dylan Sutherland, Randy Dizon, Jack Runnels, Jakob Hunter, Chris Fambro, Ryan Hall, Omar Guiterrez, Segye Jun, Rene Peraza, Saeed Chabayta Seoul Credits: Production designer / Art director: Bona Kim & Jinsil Park (Mu:E) Assistant art director: Minjung Kim, A yeong Choi (Mu:E) Team Mu:E: Jooho Jeong, Tae-gwan Nam, June Heo, Dae-young Kim, Seung-min Lee Art-team Manager: Ilho Heo (Mu:E) Gaffer: Kim Kyeong Seok Lighting Crew: Yoonki Kim, Seo Ah Park, Hanbin Sul, Hyun Seok Oh, Minwoo Kim, Jaewoo Park VFX: SECONDFLOOR VFX Supervisor: Dae Young Byun 2D Composite Lead: Ayoung Lee 2D Composite Artist: Young Jun Ko, Chea Young Kim 3D/FX Lead: Hye Ju Kang 3D/FX Artist: Geo Young You Project Manager: Seo Yun Kim DI: LUCID COLOUR COLORIST: WONSEOK KO DI CREW: JAEYEON BAEK, DAIN KIM, SEO JIN JANG, JI HYUN SONG DI PRODUCER: IN GYEONG CHOI Coldplay Unit: Director: Stevie Rae Gibbs DP: Tim Toda BIGHIT MUSIC. Rights are reserved selectively in the video. Unauthorized reproduction is a violation of applicable laws. Manufactured by BIGHIT MUSIC, Seoul, Korea. Connect with BTS: https://ibighit.com/bts http://twitter.com/BTS_bighit http://twitter.com/BTS_twt http://www.facebook.com/bangtan.official http://instagram.com/BTS.bighitofficial https://www.youtube.com/user/BANGTANTV https://www.tiktok.com/@bts_official_bighit https://weverse.onelink.me/qt3S/94808190 https://www.weibo.com/BTSbighit https://www.weibo.com/BTSmembers http://btsblog.ibighit.com #진 #Jin #TheAstronaut HYBE LABELS

[infpisme]

[whenthiswomanspeaks]

My Reaction To Kim Saeed’s Explanation Of “Monkey Branching” And Why Narcissists Are Always In New Relationships……..

Narcissists are quick to jump into relationships and hardly ever will take a break in between if they can help it. They do a maneuver called “monkey branching”. Kim Saeed who is a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Expert did an informative YouTube video on “monkey branching”, and in this post I will give my reaction and opinions on the information Ms. Saeed gave in the video. If you would like to check…

[unillustratedadventures]

On the Crushing of Souls (Kim Saeed)

This is a transcript of the following video: http://unillustratedadventures.tumblr.com/post/166525776214/narcissistic-abuse-feels-different-words-in-the

(Words by Kim Saeed.)

“Why does narcissistic abuse often affect us so differently than other traumatic events? All traumatic events are deeply impactful, and life-altering. Narcissistic abuse feels different. It has its damaging effects on a different psychological level.”

“Narcissistic abuse is inflicted by someone you love, and it targets you for who you are. A mugging is based on any person who walks by, who has a purse or wallet. Car crashes happen because someone wasn’t paying attention. And earthquakes are just random natural events. They have nothing to do with the sort of person you are. Narcissistic abuse, on the other hand, is like a laser beam on just this dimension of your psyche—you, as a person, are not loveable, have no redeeming qualities, and are a waste of space and time. The narcissistic abuser repeatedly exploits your fear of abandonment in order to make you more dependent on them and more likely to stay attached to them, despite—or rather, paradoxically, because of—the misery you find yourself in.”

“Narcissistic abuse is soul-crushing. That is why the trauma feels so different, and also why it is so difficult to overcome. We are left feeling so utterly helpless and hopeless. That is how narcissistic abuse works, why it is so debilitating, and why it feels different than other kinds of emotional trauma.”

“They may have been wounded as children. But those children are long gone, leaving only an adult with an underdeveloped level of emotional maturity, non-existent emotional intelligence, and deficient attachment capabilities. What’s left in that child’s place is a scheming manipulator, who doesn’t give a care about anyone except themselves.”

“Like many people who’ve endured narcissistic and emotional abuse, you probably didn’t realise what was happening to you, until you reached a point of near insanity, and began searching desperately for reasons why your fairytale romance took a grievous turn for the worse.”

“The salvation of the relationship always lies on the distant horizon, and is entirely dependent on your changing something about yourself—which is impossible to do, in spite of frantic efforts on your part, because your self-absorbed mate constantly changes the goal posts. These shady behaviours are indicators of having a destructive personality disorder.”

“You are being abandoned in every way possible. Abandonment has its own kind of grief—a powerful grief, universal to human beings. The grief can be acute, as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic, as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. Unresolved abandonment is a primary source of self-sabotage.”

“If you feel your partner simply puts up with you—only coming around to keep you strung along—it is because you serve a purpose. If communicating with your partner leaves you feeling unheard, unstable, and frustrated, it’s because they don’t care about you, much less what you have to say. A person who loves you would want to spend time with you, know all about you, and ensure that you feel safe and cared for.”

“Narcissists mock and ridicule for many reasons, including making themselves appear superior. One of the trademarks of narcissistic individuals is the way they hijack their victim’s world—the ‘walking on eggshells’ feeling, and persistent anxiety that you experience. This comes from the fear of not knowing what will upset your volatile partner. Your best thought-out plans may crumble around your feet, leaving you with a gnawing feeling of despair and hopelessness.”

“You focus all your energies on how to make your partner love you, and treat you once again like the soulmate they said you were. There is no loophole, in this regard, that disqualifies your partner from being abusive, no matter what they would have you believe.”

“Name-calling is a form of abuse. It is used to belittle you and make you question your worth. It is employed during rage attacks and blame-storms, and, alternately, under the guise of joking. Name-calling is never appropriate.”

“You are exhausted by the repeated cycles of hurt and rescue. This tactic preys on your emotions. The narcissist causes you a great deal of stress and anxiety, and then abruptly relieves that stress. The most common tactic used by the narcissist in this category is the silent treatment, which evokes your fear of abandonment. When the narcissist finally returns, you experience a rush of euphoric relief.”

“Repeated cycles of hurt and rescue are emotionally exhausting. This is the same method used in police interrogations to get a person to confess—sometimes even when they are innocent. When the narcissist returns after numerous stints of the silent treatment, you are emotionally defenseless, and are more prone to accepting their offensive behaviours, in order to avoid them leaving you again. Further, this often leads to your pleading, apologising, and begging the narcissist to stay, even when you have done no wrong. Hurt and rescue cycles explain why narcissistic abuse victims experience cravings and obsessive thoughts, once No Contact has been executed.”

“If you constantly wonder about the status of your relationship, ruminate about what you could do differently, believe the problems are all your fault, constantly obsess about what your partner is up to, experience mood swings, are constantly fearful and anxious, and/or feel like less of a person than before you met your partner, you have been the victim of emotional abuse. It’s important to understand that the aftermath of emotional trauma needs to be taken seriously.”

_______________________________

For those who object to the label ‘narcissistic abuse’ (my words):

For those who object to the label ‘narcissistic abuse’, under the assumption that it amounts to an ableist slur against those with NPD, you are straightforwardly mistaken about the reason for the label ‘narcissistic abuse’. In all fairness, it is possible that a great many targets of narcissistic abuse are similarly mistaken.

Narcissism is a completely general dimension of personality. Everyone has some degree of narcissism, which one might construe as a person’s general tendency towards having narcissistic motivations, or acting in narcissistically motivated ways. (It is possible for one’s degree of narcissism to change over time.) Not all narcissistically motivated actions are emotionally abuse, and not all instances of emotional abuse are narcissistically motivated.

Narcissistic abuse is just emotional abuse that is narcissistically motivated. Someone who does not have NPD can still be narcissistically motivated, or emotionally abusive, or both. Accordingly, it is possible for someone to be narcissistically abusive without having NPD.

In order to be diagnosed with NPD, one must have a comparatively greater tendency towards narcissistic abuse. However, it doesn’t follow that everyone with NPD will be narcissistically abusive, given the opportunity. Very roughly, to have NPD is to be extremely prone to having narcissistic motivations (to the point of dysfunction), whether or not these motivations happen to lead to abusive behaviours. Again, not all narcissistically motivated behaviours are emotionally abusive, and not all emotional abuse is narcissistically motivated. Narcissistic abuse is simply emotional abuse that is narcissistically motivated, regardless of whether it is imposed by someone who has NPD.

There is a tendency to call a narcissistic abuser ‘a narcissist’ or ‘the narcissist’. E.g. this happens in the attached video. However, the intended meaning of ‘narcissist’ varies wildly. It is sometimes used to refer exclusively to people who have NPD. I would say that this is a fairly sloppy and ill-advised use of the term, for reasons that should be clear from the above. ‘Narcissist’ is also sometimes used (more defensibly) to refer to anyone who is sufficiently prone to having narcissistic motivations (where this might not be sufficient for NPD), or even anyone who is presently acting with a narcissistic motivation. It is in this latter, more defensible sense that I would interpret a use of ‘a narcissist’ or ‘the narcissist’, in a discussion of narcissistic abuse. E.g. in the context of such a discussion, the narcissist would simply be the relevant person who is acting with a narcissistic motivation. In other words, the narcissist would be the relevant person who has performed an emotionally abusive act because of a narcissistic motivation.

[komal01]

Maine har uss mauke par sabr kiya;

Jahan mujhe rote rote mar jana chahiye tha

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

Books by BIPOC Authors - August 2023

🦇 I grew up surrounded by a melting pot of cultures, diverse communities, and unique experiences. Despite the different sources of those multicultural voices, their stories still covered universal topics of colonialism, migration, identity, and race. Each story was another flavor, another sweet spice adding to that melting pot. Today, we have books by BIPOC authors that put those unique voices to the page. If you're interested in traveling to different worlds, whether familiar or foreign, here are a few books by BIPOC authors to add to your TBR! 🦇

✨ Tomb Sweeping by Alexandra Chang ✨ The Dark Place by Britney S. Lewis ✨ Forged by Blood by Ehigbor Okuson ✨ Accidentally in Love by Danielle Jackson ✨ A Council of Dolls by Mona Susan Power ✨ Still Born by Guadalupe Nettel, translated by Rosalind Harvey ✨ The Injustice of Place: Uncovering the Legacy of Poverty in America by Kathryn J. Edin, H. Luke Shaefer, Timothy J. Nelson ✨ Hangman by Maya Binyam ✨ The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBride (Historical Fiction) ✨ Under the Tamarind Tree by Nigar Alam ✨ Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas ✨ An American Immigrant by Johanna Rojas Vann

🧭 Forgive Me Not by Jennifer Baker 🧭 Two Tribes by Emily Bowen Cohen 🧭 A Quantum Life: My Unlikely Journey from the Street to the Stars by Hakeem Oluseyi and Joshua Horwitz 🧭 Writing in Color: Fourteen Writers on the Lessons We've Learned (edited by) Nafiza Azad and Melody Simpson 🧭 Ghost Book by Remy Lai 🧭 The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang 🧭 Plantains and Our Becoming by Melania Luisa Marte 🧭 Forty Words for Love by Aisha Saeed 🧭 The Great White Bard: How to Love Shakespeare While Talking About Race by Farah Karim-Cooper 🧭 Take the Long Way Home by Rochelle Alers 🧭 Swim Home to the Vanished by Brendan Shay Basham 🧭 Actually Super by Adi Alsaid

✨ Never a Hero by Vanessa Len ✨ I Fed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me by Jamison Shea ✨ The Infinity Particle by Wendy Xu ✨ Night of the Living Queers, edited by Shelly Page ✨ Sign of the Slayer by Sharina Harris ✨ Her Radiant Curse by Elizabeth Lim ✨ My Father the Panda Killer by Jamie Jo Hoang ✨ Barely Floating by Lilliam Rivera ✨Happiness Falls by Angie Kim ✨ A Tall Dark Trouble by Vanessa Montalban ✨ Neverwraith by Shakir Rashaan ✨ House of Marionne by J. Elle

[xiuxxvisims]

Rose Spring’s first elder! Happy Birthday!

[black-is-beautiful18]

Y'all! Go listen to An Invitation to the Cookout by Terrell Grice! It has amazing artists on it! You won't regret it!

[liriostigre]

hello! love your blog! could you recommend any books for someone who haven't read for literal ages and wants to slowly (very, very slowly) go back to it? something short maybe? thanks in advance!🥯

hiii 💕

i absolutely recommend Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (212 pages) if you haven't read it, and the two-part play Angels in America by Tony Kushner (304 pages. but since it's a play i promise it's a quick read). i would rec those 2 to anyone who wants to get back into reading 💕

other recs for you:

fiction (under 200 pages):

Old School —Tobias Wolff

Fight Club —Chuck Palahniuk

My Tender Matador —Pedro Lemebel

Giovanni's Room —James Baldwin

The Vegetarian —Han Kang

Franny and Zooey —J. D. Salinger

Kim Ji-young, Born 1982 —Cho Nam-ju

Of Mice and Men —John Steinbeck

Fair Play —Tove Jansson

Ways of Going Home —Alejandro Zambra

short, accessible poetry (under 100 pages):

Dream Work —Mary Oliver

The Black Unicorn —Audre Lorde

The Moon Is Always Female —Marge Piercy

Bluets —Maggie Nelson

(narrative) nonfiction:

Intimations —Zadie Smith (112 pages)

How We Fight for Our Lives —Saeed Jones (208 pages)

Little Weirds —Jenny Slate (240 pages)

In the Dream House —Carmen Maria Machado (264 pages)