#kid fics are my jam

[khamori]

.

[hemlock-dreams]

hi!! is there ellie in this universe because if so that has me question some things does wade already know he has a daughter? how about peter? does he learn because wade told him or was this an accident? maybe both of them don't know it yet and one day they are just met with a child that's supposed to be wade's? btw i am absolutely in love with your work thank you for your service

Ellie doesn't exist in this universe. Hunt!Wade doesn't have a lot of opportunities for casual sex (though he'd be down for it), so she never cropped up. Also narratively, neither Hunt!Wade or Hunt!Peter are parent material (or want to be), so if she were to exist, she'd never be in frame long enough for it to matter.

And thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the world! I'm super sorry if this isn't the answer you wanted to hear, but I didn't want to put Ellie in if I wasn't going to respect her presence in the world.

[starrclown]

Fun fact! All those words there! NONE OF THEM ARE THEM DANCING. It's just been layering up to it. What's worse is I have like 2 more plot points to get through before they even dance! If this fic ends up being like 10k words I won't be surprised.

More spoilers:

Lil suggestive stuff here so be warned.

If there's spelling mistakes don't worry about it, I haven't proof read it yet.

-⭐️StarClown⭐️

[feelingsareforweak]

I have seen a lot of Irondad and spider son aus which are great cures my depression, reduces my acne all that jazz but listen,

Peter parker! Tony stark science clone, like maybe somebody (cough sheldra/ oscorp cough) gets wind of Howard stark having a special place to store his brand new super soldier serum ("you will always be my greatest creation tony") and like somehow they like get tony's blood/semen to make a perfect soldier, test tube babies made and experimented on (bonus if results in horrifying diseases, body defects, cross animal genes showing up etc etc) and then a stark dna is brought and baby is made and it kind of results in okay baby? Like a human looking baby, no genetic deforms or serious genetic defects AND has a very active brain activity for something not even 6 months old but u know the baby is kind of weak and under weight and has tons of allergies maybe diagnosed with long term asthma and other normal defects found in normal babies but not in the experimenter so scientists are getting so excited that they are so close to getting perfection that next one is on but somehow they get bursted? Idk what happens but in the end two of the main scientists end up with that baby who like in the end up decide to raise the baby to see what may actually happen to this baby and also like to kind of avoid suspensions so two birds in one stone or more like two problems in one baby raising

The baby is named Surprise Surprise you got it right Peter and to avoid suspensions Mary marries Richard and like move in near his brothers house where they often take peter to baby sit along with his wife may cuz they are often busy with work and all that jazz so peter never really knows his parents or his condition at all

In the end after their death all he knows they were never there for him and ben and may were always his parents anyway

Fast forward to peter getting a spider bite and ben dying and becoming spiderman but tragedy tragedy may dying within a few months so during cps evaluation he finds tones of file about himself and getting an identity crisis cus he is a genetically modified a goddamn tony stark clone who going by the files should not be in any way alive but he is. Peter is both horrified fascinated and disgusted with himself and having a quater-life crises at this and kind of like spirals?

(I mean not really but mild horrified fascination that he is a clone!! of Tony Fucking Stark!!!! And he has genetic mutations!!! Enhanced abilities!!! Cuz ill be real if he is a bit on the animal side he may not really get human morals and shit, I want him a bit more on animal side here like he is sunshine daisies but not really understanding of concept of human moral compass cuz his brain was experimented on early and his iq is size of fucking mount everest and he is bored in high school)

Fast forward six months of foster care with ned and post civil war era where Tony doesn't recruit him cuz spiderman started late and is not really on his radar where SI is giving out free scholarships partnering with MIT, Harvard and other big college names that i have not researched enough to name rn and peter applying to it.

Cue ppl being horrified of this pint sized kid blowing all the tests and exams out of the wind and being like this is so freaking easy wtf is this what college teaches nowadays I don't even want to go to college if this is what it is. Scientists are screaming, professors are crying And some of the ug students are throwing up cuz like that was one of the toughest tests I have ever studied for and written in but this chilli sized horrible puns shirt kid comes and does this what even is his life now!???

Now this small packet is blowing college courses like one blows the wind and obviously this gets Tony's attention and somehow he gets roped in mentoring this kid but he is fucking hot mess who has 101 health problems and don't even ask bout his mental or emotional health okay but somehow he agrees okay

Now Peter is in foster care and doesn't want ppl to know he is spiderman (here spiderman is kind of criminal, he steals, he threatens and blackmails ppl but he also saves ppl in broad daylight, helps tourists find directions, helps grandmas cross rides, climbs trees just to save kittens stuck up there like a weird mix of vigilant, assassin and hero who is never known to kill but always subdues cuz he learned that human lives are precious that needs to be preserved after taking away his only source of maral compass and care and love after discovering his science experiment of existence ) so he graduates high school at 14 and gets bachlers from MIT, Harvard, Cambridge in STEM subjects with the young minds programme at the age the age of 15 and is on fast track of getting atleast 5 phDs by the time is of age to vote.

Tony is fascinated and worried for this kid who has managed to become his personal intern but his heart melts everytime he sees hero-worship in the kid's eyes for him, The hot mess™ Tony goddam Stark cuz it doesn't matter if he is a Tony Stark clone, he has always looked up to him from the time he remembers and Iron Man had saved him in Stark Expo okay don't judge him he is still 79.45% human and technically Tony Steak shout be his father anyway

Somewhere along bi weekly lab days and constant checking on this kid who is a star wars fanatic, makes absurd snack monstrosity to eat, is a total lego nerd and being a weird teenage mess this orphan of a kid makes his way along his non existent heart and discovers his genius of an intern is a stupid teenage dressed in onsie that fights crime on daily basis while making bad jokes and help everyday ppl but spiderman maybe loved by Queens but spiderman is kind of criminal so Ironman publically takes Spiderman under his wing.

After all this shit imagine Tony discovering his wayward son's origin story and imagine Tony being emotional mess but Peter is like its okay I'm alive I'm fine but tony is like no its not. It's a rollercoaster mess of emotions, discovering what it means to be a human, forming relationships, real life communication and identity crisis where in the end its kind of ambitious with morgan being born and all that Irondad and Spiderman fluff and jazz

[baronessblixen]

23. Mistletoe kiss! (I think you know who)

Thank you for the prompt! This turned into a sequel to Christmas With The Scullys, but I think it can also be read on its own. It's very fluff.

Wc: 2,231 | Tagging @today-in-fic

Mistletoe Musings

Gooey darkness greets him as he slowly comes to, trying to blink away the sleep from his eyes. He wakes up languidly, stretching his legs, amazed at how soft this bed is. How quiet everything is here. How wonderful it smells.

Wait.

Mulder opens his eyes fully, looking around. His head is throbbing in tandem with his heartbeat. Where the fuck is he and why is he not alone in his bed? First things first. This, he realizes seeing a picture of a very young Scully and her siblings – Bill may have grown, but he hasn’t changed – on the nightstand, is not his bed, or his home. The memories return to him in scraps. Hospital. Concussion. Scully’s car. Scully’s mother’s house.

The bed he’s sleeping in is Scully’s. The person he’s sharing the bed with is… Scully. His eyes are still getting used to the dark, but now that he knows, he can see her. The lump under the comforter is without a doubt his partner. This isn’t the first time they’re sharing a bed, but it’s the first time they’re sharing her bed.

He doesn’t remember why they put him up here in Scully’s room. Does her mother think they’re dating? Scully, still asleep, chooses that moment to scoot closer to him, sighing deeply. Her scent is intoxicating. So is her proximity. If his mind keeps going down this path, his head will soon no longer be the only thing throbbing.

What he has to do is get a grip. This is Scully. She brought him here because he got himself hurt – again – and he couldn’t be left alone. Like a child. He’s crashing her Christmas because he acted before thinking.

He should thank Scully and all his lucky stars that he’s here and alive, not dead in some ditch, or all alone in a hospital. His eyes find Scully and his mind stops racing. A smile breaks on his face, just watching her sleep. He shifts the tiniest bit closer to her, hoping she won’t wake. When she doesn’t stir, he wills himself to relax. His eyes watching her, he’s being pulled back to sleep, too.

“Why can’t we wake them?” Someone not too quietly whispers. “I want to see what Santa brought!”

“Shhh. Let them sleep a moment longer.” Another voice chimes in, more familiar and more mature. It must be Mrs. Scully.

“Huh?” Scully, who at some point during the night decided to use his chest as a pillow, wakes up and as soon as she realizes how close they are, she gasps. But she doesn’t move away. She glances at him, her mind playing catch up, and then she smiles.

“Good morning,” she says.

“Grandma, they’re awake!” Two Scully children exclaim and both Mulder and Scully turn towards the door where Mrs. Scully stands with the biggest grin on her face.

“You better hurry,” she says, chuckling. “These kids are in a hurry.”

“Aunt Dana and the fox are awake!” One of the children screams, running down the stairs.

“What time is it?” Mulder asks once they’re alone again.

“Early,” Scully replies with a yawn. “Too early. How’s your head?”

“Scully, why is your very Catholic mother not at all fazed that I’m in your bed?”

“I take it your head is better.” Her words don’t stop her from touching the bump on his head and he winces. “There’s not enough space with half my family here. Is your head not better? Do we need to go back to the hospital?” Her hand is still on his head, but now she’s cradling it.

“No. No, we don’t. You’re important to me,” he says, remembering saying the same thing to her last night. He wants to say it again. Needs to say it again. There are no painkillers in his blood. Even the adrenaline is gone. If she didn’t believe him last night, she cannot deny it this morning.

“You told me last night. Do you- do you remember what happened yesterday?”

“I know I said it last night,” he assures her. “I do remember what happened. Well, mostly. I know where we are, and I know who I am, and I know who you are. What else do I need? I just wanted to say it again so that you know I meant it.”

“Thank you, Mulder,” she says, blushing faintly. “I meant it, too.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” He grins at her, his head moving towards hers. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that they were supposed to get up and go downstairs where a plethora of Scullys wait for them. But what he really wants is to drink in Scully’s sleep-tousled hair, her make-up-free morning face full of freckles, and her inviting lips.

“Mulder,” she says, his name sounding like a murmur. Her eyes flicker to his lips, letting him know that she wants this, too. But before their mouths meet, his brain fires another word at him.

“Mistletoe,” he says, right before their lips meet. “We talked about mistletoe last night, didn’t we?” Scully chuckles, her eyes closing briefly.

“We did.”

“I still don’t know if there is any downstairs.”

“I think it’s time you find out.”

*

They draw all eyes to them when they enter Mrs. Scully’s living room. For a moment Mulder isn’t sure whether he’s seeing double. He’s never seen so many people for Christmas. They’re everywhere.

“Finally,” a kid says with a groan, crawling towards the tree and the presents there. Scully takes his hand, leading him toward the couch where her mother is sitting. Mulder feels several pairs of eyes bore into him. Most prominently Bill Jr.’s. He swallows hard, smiling at everyone else.

“Oh dear,” Mrs. Scully says. “There really is not enough space here.” She motions to the couch and Mulder realizes she’s right. There’s just enough space for one more person. They can’t very well ask the old lady with her cup of tea to sit on the floor.

“I can, um, stand over there,” Mulder says, pointing. “It’s fine.”

“Don’t be silly,” Mrs. Scully says. “Dana can sit on your lap. Come on now,” she urges. “You’re going to miss all the fun.”

Mulder and Scully exchange a quick look. If they don’t sit down soon, they will make it worse. Though Mulder isn’t sure things can be worse now.

“Sit down,” Scully says, her voice soft. She touches his arm, letting him know it’s okay. This is at once a dream and a nightmare come true. But he sits down, the couch sinking under his weight. Mrs. Scully nods at him, smiling before she redirects her focus back to the children. The only person still watching them is Bill Jr.

Mulder’s head is throbbing but he ignores it, waiting for Scully to sit on his lap. His Scully on his lap. She’s light as a feather, feeling just right sitting here. His arms go around her waist of their own volition. She leans against him, throwing him a quick smile. As he watches everyone tear through their presents, wrapping paper flying everywhere, he wonders if this is happening or a side effect of his concussion. Last night, he shared a bed with Scully. This morning, she’s sitting in his lap.

“This one’s for you, Dana.” Someone hands Scully a present and he rests his head on her shoulder to watch her unwrap it.

“What a beautiful scarf,” she says. “Thank you, Aunt Sylvia.”

“It’s from Santa,” one of the children reminds her.

“You’re right,” Scully says, laughing. “Thank you, Santa.” She turns around to look at Mulder, still smiling. He’s never seen her like this, like Dana. Being around her family grounds her, mellows her. She’s the most beautiful he’s ever seen her.

“Happiness looks good on you,” he whispers.

“It looks good on you, too,” she says, wrapping the scarf around him. It already smells like her and he doesn’t ever want to take it off. She’s right: he’s happy. It’s been more years than he can count since he’s felt this peaceful on Christmas.

“I know you had no choice,” Mulder says, his voice breaking. “But thank you for bringing me here.”

“I wanted you here, Mulder. I could have left you in the hospital.”

“I need to find that mistletoe,” he says. As much as he wants to kiss her – and do it right now – it might just be the last straw for Bill Jr.

“Look around,” Scully whispers, making him shiver all over. He does. His eyes scan the whole room and then, finally, he sees it. Mistletoe right by the window. He knew he could count on Mrs. Scully. Now all he has to do is be patient. He’s grinning like a Cheshire cat, much to the delight of the other grown up guests. He hopes they don’t know what he’s thinking about. But even if they do, he can’t care. Not tonight. Today he will receive the greatest Christmas gift he can imagine. He will get to kiss Scully.

*

In the end, it’s probably no more than an hour. To Mulder, it feels endless. The last present is unwrapped, the children are happy and playing with their toys, and the adults are refilling their coffees to stay awake and alert. Mulder doesn’t need caffeine. He’s thirsty for something else. But Tara has grabbed Scully by the arm and now the two women are in the kitchen while Mulder hangs around the mistletoe by himself.

“So you are Dana’s partner.” A woman approaches him, holding a plate with cookies. She offers one to Mulder and he politely takes one. “I’m her aunt. I’ve been very curious about you.”

“Hmm?” Is all he can say with his mouth full of cookie.

“Maggie told me all about you and Dana. She was hoping you’d be here. I love Dana, but these last few years,” she trails off, sighing. “It was obvious that there was always something missing. Someone missing. It was you. It’s good to see my favorite niece smile again. Don’t tell Bill Jr. I called Dana my favorite.” She winks at him and Mulder smiles, trying to process what he just heard.

He doesn’t get much time, because Scully returns to the living room, walking towards him. He forgets everything else. There is no one else in this room but them. His head doesn’t hurt. The only reason his knees are weak is that Scully is smiling at him. She has a cup of coffee in her hand that she puts on the mantelpiece.

“Hi,” he says, his voice breathless.

“Hi.”

“I found mistletoe.”

“I see.”

“You know the tradition,” he says.

“I do. You should be glad Aunt Sylvia didn’t look up just now,” Scully says. “I think she might have a thing for you.”

“Hmm, too bad. I’m already interested in someone else.”

“Who?” Scully asks, but he steals the word from her lips. They meet in the middle with her on tiptoes and him slightly stooped. It starts out soft and gentle, a perfect first kiss. But when Scully’s fingers lock in his hair, all bets are off. He forgets that he shouldn’t be upright for longer periods of time. His knees buckle, but kissing Scully takes precedence over everything else.

“There are children present, for God’s sake.” It’s Bill’s booming voice that brings them back to the present, to Mrs. Scully’s house, and the various family members glaring at them.

“I’m, um, we- well.” Mulder tries to find words, but can’t. He wipes his mouth and Bill’s eyes narrow.

“The kids are not even paying attention,” Scully says. Everyone over the age of 12 is, however. Mulder has never seen so many women smile at him. He stands closer to Scully, knowing she’ll protect him.

“I said I’d try to be nice to him,” Bill says, looking him up and down. “But Dana, this is going too far.”

“It was one kiss, Bill.”

“Hey, don’t fight, please,” Mulder says, his headache returning with a vengeance. “I think I need to sit down anyway. I’m a bit dizzy.”

“I wasn’t thinking.” She throws Bill a dirty look and for a brief moment, the siblings battle a silent fight that Scully seems to be winning. She leads Mulder over to the couch where every Scully woman starts fawning over him. His very own Scully has her hand on his head, straightening the hair she mussed up. He grins, thinking about what happened mere moments ago. He wants it to happen again soon.

“He’s wearing lipstick,” Aunt Sylvia says, taking a sip from her coffee. “Looks good on him.” Somewhere Bill Jr. groans while everyone else laughs. Scully wipes the lipstick away with her thumb, pressing a kiss to his cheek. She’s not at all shy with him here, surrounded by her family. Even if she only does it to rile up her big brother, he doesn’t care. After all, he gets kisses. From Scully. He will never complain about that. Though he can’t wait to do this when they’re alone and Bill Jr. isn’t breathing down their necks. Quite literally.

“It really does look good on you,” she whispers, bringing him back to the present.

“Maybe I can wear it again later?” He asks, full of hope.

“Oh, you will be wearing it again later tonight, don’t worry,” she promises him.

[athina-blaine]

encountering other jjk yaoi fans and sussing out how much they genuinely like the series before i can start bitching about it

[jamsofdeath0]

(not 100% prompt accurate)

Bruce realizes something needs to change when a child tries to take responsibility of him. He's an adult no matter his history. He needs to pull himself together; stop taking his rage out on bystanders. Tim Drake shouldn't feel the need to force his way into Robin to stop him from killing someone. But what can he do short of retiring Batman? Batman was already his plan instead of murder when his second set of parents died.

Bruce has never in any life dealt well with grief. In one he split himself down the middle; in another he obsessed. Together they raged and consumed. In this one he saved, or at least he'd like to think he has. His answer to the death of his second parents was Batman. It was to build up his city and take down its crime. Try to make a world where no one has to watch their parents die. To try to make change without death.

Somehow the death of a son had dwarfed every grief before it. His parents at fourteen, his sister, himself; even the Wayne's deaths mean nothing in the face of Jason's. The grief consumes him; becomes him. He has lost his everything. He is a shell of man made with sorrow and madness. He has never wished someone dead so much. He's killed millions for the sake of power and yet one death trivializes it all. Everything he's ever done seems so insignificant in the face of the death of a son, his son.

Maybe he should retire Batman. Maybe he can do it. Maybe he can kill the Joker and no one else. If he retires his nightlife after one death, murder, maybe he won't keep going. Wash his hands of vigilantes, and villains. Wash his hands of Gotham. Donate his everything. Blow up the cave. Sell the estate. He could leave. Alfred could come if he wants, could go if he doesn't. Without Batman Tim Drake wouldn't have anyone to try to fix. Batman doesn't need Robin if there's no Batman.

The plan has flaws. What if he doesn't stop killing? What if the Joker doesn't die right?How cruel is fate? Would his worst enemy come back when his son didn't? What if Tim Drake takes to the city's rooftops alone. Bruce knows first hand how impossible it is to truly deter a determined vigilante. What if he keeps killing? No one could stop him last time. He reigned terror for a decade. Hellfire and death, all for the sake of power. All in the hopes it would fill a hole it never did. Never could have. Strength did nothing to subdue the pain of despair. No, he can't kill for as long as there is no one to stop him if he goes too far.

There is someone to stop him if he goes too far. He's not sure how it slipped his mind. He was defeated in the end! He was stopped! He supposes when the sting of defeat waned the whole thing became nothing but a footnote of his old life. Danny Fenton beat him. Defeated him spectacularly. Proved himself stronger in nearly every way as he used a move it took Bruce years to. But could he ask a child, an irresponsible child, any child to take responsibility of him when that's exactly what he's attempting to avoid with Tim Drake. Danny can't be older than fifteen right now. It would be cruel of Bruce to drag him into his mess after all he's done to him. He thinks he may still be a reprehensible man as he considers it.

-

DPXDC prompt #21

Danny hadn't heard of his alternative future version since he and Clockwork worked together to de-age him and send him to some distant relatives 40 years ago, after Dan begged them to do it since he wanted a second chance to live again.

So imagine his surprise when he receives a desperate call from Dan, now Bruce Wayne, raving about clowns and something about Lazarus blood pools.

Sometimes being a Ancient wasn't worth it, but it was better then being the Ghost King.

[characteroulette]

The fun part of working on like 50 things at once: five or so of them have Apollo GETTING IT

The not-so-fun part of working on like 50 things at once: I have two books that were supposed to be finished by now I have several chapters of several fics I need to get back to all I wanna work on is Apollo getting it HELP

[steddiealltheway]

Happy Halloween everyone!! Here is some type of no upside down AU fic :)

Eddie drums his hands on the cafeteria table and looks around at his friends. "Alright gentlemen, what are we doing for Halloween?"

He instantly gets a sense that something is off when Jeff and Gareth exchange a guilty look. Eddie leans forward and props his chin up on his hand. "Want to share with the class?"

Gareth sighs and looks at the table for a moment before bursting out, "Well, my sister and Jeff's brother really wanted to go out trick-or-treating this year, and you know how they've gotten close. And the deal was that either Jeff and I would stay at our houses manning the candy bowl, or we would go out with the kids."

Eddie huffs out, "And let me guess, you chose free candy, torturous walking, and a cutesy group costume."

Jeff smiles guiltily. "You're looking at Shaggy and Scooby-Doo."

"Adorable," Eddie says with a big fake smile before turning to Frank. "You're not leaving me high and dry though, isn't that right, Frank?"

Only, Frank seems to be just as guilty-looking as the others.

"Frank... Don't do this to me, man," Eddie pleads.

Frank sighs, "I told my mom I would do a Halloween horror movie night with her. Sorry, Eddie."

Eddie looks between all his friends, wondering if they're pulling a prank on him and fulfilling the trick part of trick-or-treat. But he slowly realizes that they're not. "Shit," he whispers, "I guess I needed to book you guys early," Eddie jokes, trying not to feel too let down.

Jeff pats his hand and says, "Hey, you can come with us. We need a bad guy in a mask."

Eddie scrunches up his nose. "Willingly walking miles and dealing with kids on an endless sugar high? No thanks. But... I appreciate the thought." He sits back and picks up a few of his pretzels before dropping them back in the bag. What is he going to do? He has always loved Halloween, his friends know this. But what's the point in celebrating if he's alone?

"You could go to Harrington's infamous ball," Frank suggests. Gareth and Jeff immediately start laughing loudly. Eddie just glares at Frank, but he doesn't seem to be joking as he defends himself, "I'm not kidding! Come on, free beer and witnessing a bunch of shit drama."

Eddie snorts. "Yeah, because I would be so welcomed there."

"It's not like people will really notice. I hear his place is jam-packed with random people every year. Plus, you could wear your bat masquerade mask," Jeff interjects.

Eddie sighs and puts his head in his hands. "You're not seriously trying to convince me to go, right?"

"I mean... we're not not trying to convince you," Gareth supplies unhelpfully. There's an oof sound that Eddie's sure is the result of Jeff elbowing him in the side. "But seriously, you can wear the mask so no one will recognize you and your slutty vampire outfit-"

"It's not slutty."

"It has a tight leather lace-up vest, it's a little slutty," Jeff stage whispers to Eddie.

Eddie groans and dramatically thuds his head down on the table before quickly looking up. "Let me get this right. You want me to go to Steve Harrington's Halloween party in a mask as a Cinderella-type vampire because you guys are ditching me?"

"Precisely. Except the part where we ditched you because we clearly invited you-"

"Okay! Okay!" Eddie cuts Jeff off waving his hands.

"And hey, we all know that you would love to get some one-on-one time with Harrington, and what's a better time to do this than undercover?" Jeff asks.

Eddie dramatically shushes him and whispers, "I told you guys that secret while entirely way too high, you cannot hold that information against me right now."

"He's right," Frank says, "You can finally find out if Harrington truly isn't an asshole."

"And see if he has the hots for you while you're wearing your-"

"I swear, Gareth, if you call the costume slutty again..."

"Okay, but are you wearing it with your leather pants?" Jeff asks, eyebrows raised.

Eddie sighs and looks down at his lunchbox. "Maybe," he begrudgingly admits.

"Slutty!" Frank loudly says, and Gareth and Jeff immediately burst out laughing.

Eddie covers his face in his hands before joining in on their laughter. "Maybe it's a little slutty," he admits.

As the boys celebrate their win, Eddie feels someone staring over at him. He glances toward Harrington's table where he's sitting next to his ex and her new boyfriend and finds him staring directly at him. Eddie's heart beats a little harder when Steve slightly smiles at him before redirecting his attention to Jonathan.

"Jesus Christ, he looked at me again," Eddie mutters.

"Dude, you always say this, but we never see him do it," Frank groans.

"Yeah, because you don't obsessively check out his table," Gareth says with a laugh before he suddenly frowns and turns to Eddie. "No offense."

"None taken," Eddie replies as he chews on his bottom lip, thinking deeply. If he goes to the party, he can finally confront his crush on the guy he's never truly interacted with unless you count all the times they catch each other's eye then... they would be interacting somewhat often.

He can also finally figure out if it's all in his head or not.

"Okay. I'm going to the Harrington party," Eddie announces.

"Seriously?" Jeff asks incredulously.

"You guys are just so convincing," Eddie says with his hands over his heart.

"Bullshit," Frank says, "You're just going for a chance to maybe say two words to him."

Eddie crosses his arms and asks, "And what would those two words be?"

"'Slutty vampire' in response to 'What are you dressed as?'" Jeff quickly jokes, earning a shriek of laughter from Gareth and Frank.

Eddie thanks whatever entity is responsible for making the bell ring to announce lunch is over. "I need new friends," Eddie lies as he gathers his stuff up.

As Gareth and Frank rush off, Jeff lays a hand on Eddie's arm and says, "Hey, we can do a Halloween slasher night if you want to this weekend. Also, don't hesitate to call if you need help getting ready or need a second pair of eyes to make sure Harrington will approve."

Eddie gives him a genuine small smile and squeezes his shoulder, "Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it," Jeff says as he walks off with a bright smile.

As Eddie watches him walk away, he catches Harrington staring at him out of the corner of his eye, but as soon as he glances over, he looks away looking... angry? Eddie just sighs and shakes his head. He needs to stop thinking that Harrington in any way has thoughts dedicated to him.

Maybe this party will be good for Eddie.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Eddie stares at his reflection in the mirror and twists and turns. Maybe the leather is slutty, but he thinks the plain black cape does well to soften the look a bit. He stares at his hair and all the glossy individually finger-curled strands making his hair look a little more tame than usual. But hell, his arms and fingers ache. He just hopes it's all worth it.

He puts on the bat mask and frowns before taking it off and digging around for his eyeliner pencil he knows he has somewhere in the bathroom. He quickly finds it in a random basket and applies it before smudging it a bit. He puts the mask back on and smiles. He likes the way it has an elegant almost lace-looking quality to the plastic that offsets the leather of his costume.

He wishes he could call Jeff for a final look, but he doesn't want to take any precious time away from him and his brother although they're probably done trick-or-treating by now. Plus, he knows that Jeff would tell him that he looks great and not to overthink it. So, that's exactly what he's going to do.

He grabs the bright orange flyer he found on the floor at school for the Harrington Halloween House Party and cringes at the alliteration. He's pretty sure it's been the same thing for the past three years though, so it's not like Harrington has an option of changing it.

Gosh, he needs to stop stalling and finally leave for the party. He glances at his watch and sees that it's almost eleven, so people should be finally arriving an hour fashionably late. Better to be a part of that crowd to not draw much attention.

He drives over quickly, parking a little down the road when he starts seeing other cars, not wanting to get stuck if he wants to leave early. He takes a deep breath before glancing in the mirror again. He's not recognizable... right? Right.

He gets out of his van and quickly starts walking toward the intimidatingly large house. He's glad to find a group of people rushing inside and even more people outside on the front lawn who aren't sparing him a second glance. Usually, he would come to one of these things with his infamous lunchbox and upsell his stash, but he knew it would give him away tonight. Plus, it's nice to not be on edge the whole time, wondering who is approaching him for drugs and who is approaching him with a slur.

As he makes his way inside, he grimaces at the loud pop music people are wildly dancing to and the smell of alcohol that permeates the house. It's only a few minutes before someone is shoving a cup of mysteriously bright red liquid in Eddie's hand. He takes a tentative sip and shrugs. It's not horrible especially since Eddie likes terribly sweet things, but he definitely isn't going to waste time getting a second cup.

He's on a mission. And his mission is to find Steve and hope that he's not somewhere with his tongue down some random girl's throat. Eddie tries to shove away the thoughts telling him that he shouldn't expect Steve Harrington to not be doing exactly that at his party. Plus, why would he spare time to talk to Eddie of all people?

Eddie takes another sip of his drink and makes his way through the crowd, not finding a single glimpse of that Harrington mane that's usually easy to spot. He goes outside the backdoor and frowns at all the people making out in the pool before heading back inside.

He glances around a few more times before settling back in a corner, downing the rest of his drink before giving up on his search and settling on people watching. But god it’s boring.

These people are boring.

It’s just the same situation over and over again. A couple getting uncomfortably handsy with each other, or a guy and girl eyeing each other up across the room as their friends hype them up in a way that’s either grotesque or filled with squeals.

And the room is hot. So unbearably hot that his leather pants are starting to cling to Eddie in an uncomfortable way that makes him want to rip them off.

Instead, he settles on climbing the stairs and going to find whatever bathroom he can to splash some cold water in his face and hopefully get a moment to himself.

He looks at all the closed doors, pressing his ear against them before quickly backing away whenever he hears something gross. But then his ear settles on one door and there’s the distinct sound of nothing on the other side that puts him at ease.

He twists the knob and walks into the room, freezing when he realizes that, one, this is not a bathroom, and, two, someone with Steve Harrington's distinctive hair swoop is sitting in the room.

The man turns and makes eye contact with Eddie who instantly dies a little inside as he realizes it is Steve. "Sorry. I didn't mean to barge in."

Steve gives him a small smile and says, "I don't mind."

Eddie doesn't know what to do other than hover in the doorway of the dark room. Steve continues to stare at him and eventually asks, "Want to join me?"

Yes. Hell yes, he does. But also, Eddie has the distinct feeling that this either has to be a dream or a prank. But he still nods.

"Do you mind locking the door behind you? I just... don't want anyone trying to use this room as a place to hook up or something."

Now this definitely sets off a few alarms in Eddie's head, but there's a weird air of sadness surrounding Steve that makes it seem... genuine. So Eddie closes the door and locks it behind him, slowly making his way over to Steve. As he gets closer, some of the light trailing in through his blinds catches on the glittering crown that he's holding in his hands.

Eddie gestures toward it. "King Steve?"

Steve smiles sadly and looks down at the crown. "Something like that."

Eddie carefully sits next to Steve, trying to keep a respectable distance between them on the bed. His eyes trace over Steve's costume, a clearly expensive, gorgeous prince or king costume. "So, what are you supposed to be?"

"Prince Charming," Steve answers easily. He glances over at Eddie and shrugs. "Nancy thought that it would be funny because of my 'Harrington charm' mixed with King Steve, but I don't know. I kind of hate that nickname." He shakes his head and changes the subject. "What are you supposed to be?"

"Slutty vampire," Eddie says almost automatically, startling a laugh out of Steve as Eddie curses under his breath and puts his hands over his face. As his fingers press into the mask on his face, he's startled by the realization that Steve doesn't know who he is. "Sorry, my friends kept saying that, and I insisted it wasn't what I was going for. But they won that argument in the end I guess." God, he can't believe he actually said that.

"You look maybe a little slutty but in a good way," Steve rushes to say the last part. He runs a hand through his hair, getting a bit flustered. "I mean you look nice."

"So do you," Eddie admits honestly.

Steve holds his hand out to him. "Steve."

Eddie takes his hand and says, "Cinderella."

Steve laughs again. "Really?"

"I got the mask and everything," Eddie explains, not yet wanting to ruin things when Steve finds out who he really is.

"Cinderella then," Steve says with a smile that makes Eddie feel a little weak in the knees. Thank god he's sitting down.

"So, what are you doing in here in the dark all by yourself, Prince Charming?"

"I'm not by myself, I'm with you," Steve easily deflects.

Eddie raises his eyebrows although he's pretty sure the mask partially covers them.

Steve looks down at the crown again and raises it up. "I just wanted to not be this for a little bit tonight. Plus, the music was giving me a headache - too many concussions." He pauses before turning to Eddie. "And what were you doing escaping from things?"

"Looking for some quiet," Eddie says and looks down at his unnaturally bare hands. He wishes he would've kept on his rings so he could fidget with them. "I was thinking about leaving, but I wanted to stay in case I found you."

Steve shifts a little on the bed, moving to face him. "And now that you've found me?"

Eddie glances up at him and considers it for a moment. "I hadn't really thought that far."

Steve runs a hand through his hair. "Well, I hope I'm not too disappointing."

"Not at all," Eddie insists, "Actually I thought you'd be-"

"An asshole?" Steve interjects quickly, his expression becoming oddly stoic.

Eddie shakes his head. "Preoccupied with someone else. Anyone other than me really."

Steve face softens and he leans in closer, eyes tracing over Eddie's face as if trying to figure out what's under the mask covering most of the upper half of his face. "You know you can tell me your real name, right?"

Eddie swallows and shakes his head. "Maybe I'll just leave a clue behind or something. Not my shoe though. I always hated that plot line."

Steve smiles brightly. "If it fit perfectly then why did it fall off?"

"Exactly!" Eddie says clapping his hands together excitedly. "Plus, with all that dancing, I just know that shoe did not smell good."

Steve throws his head back and laughs, and Eddie just watches him, filled with pride at being able to pull that reaction out of him. As his laughter dies down, Steve glances back down at the crown.

"You should put it on," Eddie blurts out. Steve looks up at him with his eyebrows raised. "I want to see the whole costume."

Steve reluctantly places the crown on his head and glances toward Eddie. It's strange, how it fits him so perfectly at first glance, but he can see how it personally affects Steve, as if it adds a weight to his entire demeanor.

"You look good, but I think I prefer you without," Eddie admits.

Steve quickly takes it off his head and places it behind him. "Yeah, that's because it messes up my best feature."

"That's strange, I didn't see it mess with your eyes, or your smile, or your nose, or your-"

Eddie's suddenly cut off when Steve leans in and kisses him. He just as quickly pulls away and says, "Sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've asked before I just-"

"Steve," Eddie says, laying a hand over Steve's.

Steve looks up at him nervously.

"Please do that again," Eddie says.

Steve sighs in relief and instantly closes the distance between them again, but Eddie is able to prepare for it, properly cupping his face and kissing him back. He feels like he's in a dream again as Steve deepens the kiss and runs his hands through the curls Eddie took so long to perfect. But he doesn't care at all.

There's a sudden loud ringing of a grandfather clock that pierces through the house causing the two of them to jump apart. "Jesus, I forgot that I told them they could play that creepy recording at midnight," Steve says and freezes. "Wait, it's midnight."

"And?"

"You're Cinderella."

Eddie tries to swallow down the pain of once again realizing that to Steve, he's just some random guy that he doesn't know. But Eddie smiles and says, "Well, lucky for you, the magic doesn't run out until one or two in the morning."

Steve smiles back and says, "Lucky me." But instead of kissing Eddie, he surprises him by asking, "Tell me something about yourself."

Eddie shrugs, trying to think of something that won't give him away. "I play the guitar."

"Oh, is that why you wear the..." Steve trails off, eyes flickering down to his neck before looking away. "Forget I said that. I thought I saw something."

Eddie's brows furrow, but he doesn't press him on it. "What about you? Tell me something most people don't know."

Steve thinks for a moment before smiling. "I almost didn't show up to this tonight. I was going to go trick-or-treating with some of the kids I sort of babysit. But Dustin told me they didn't need a babysitter tonight, so I ended up here."

The story twists at Eddie's heart a bit. Even with his disillusioned crush on Steve, he would've never guessed there was a group of kids he cared for so much.

Eddie reaches out and intertwines his fingers with Steve's. "I'm sure they miss you."

"I don't know. They were going in custom-made costumes for these characters they play as in D and D or something. They seemed really excited about it, so they've probably forgotten about me by now."

Eddie swallows down the entire spiel he wants to make about Hellfire Club and asking who the kids are so he might be able to recruit them and instead says, "Well, you're pretty unforgettable."

Steve smiles and opens his mouth to respond when there's a sudden loud knock on the door. Steve frowns and loudly says, "Occupied!"

A voice on the other side of the door loudly says, "I think your neighbors down the way ratted us out! Someone said the police are on their way."

"Shit," Steve mutters and runs his hands over his face. "I'll be right there! Just get rid of all the alcohol you can find and turn off the music. Party is over." He stands up and turns to Eddie offering his hand which Eddie takes.

They both stand up and Eddie realizes he's never stood directly next to him and is surprised that they seem to be the same height. God, it's so nice to be at eye level with him.

"I guess this is goodbye, Cinderella," Steve says sadly and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "Will you leave me with at least a kiss?"

"You're too charming to say no to," Eddie jokes before he leans in and kisses Steve again, lingering in the kiss for as long as he can before they both pull away as there's another loud knock on the door.

Steve squeezes Eddie's shoulder one last time and says, "I promise to find you." He rushes out the door quickly after and Eddie is left standing in Steve's room alone. He takes a deep breath before he leaves slowly, distancing the time they were seen with each other.

Luckily, things are in a bit of a frenzy as he leaves so he doubts anyone noticed him slipping out of the same room as Steve. But on his drive home, Eddie realizes he gave Steve absolutely nothing to identify him with. He curses and debates turning back until he sees Hopper's police car pass him.

Steve's never going to find him.

-:-:-:-:-:-

The entire weekend, Eddie's friends have the pleasure of hearing him share the story over and over again while simultaneously complaining about not leaving something equivalent to a shoe behind.

"Well, it sounds like you at least left him with a lot of your saliva," Gareth says one time, and Eddie has to get Jeff to hold him back.

Monday morning is the worst when he realizes he has to see Steve and pretend like nothing happened. Because there's no way he's going to tell Steve that he's Cinderella and expect him to not punch him in the face.

Okay, Steve doesn't seem the type to do that, but there's no way he would be excited to hear that Eddie's the guy he swapped spit with - god, he really needs to get Gareth's words out of his head. But Eddie thinks he'll be able to deal with Steve never knowing than Steve rejecting him.

He sees Steve here and there in the hall but is luckily able to divert his path so Steve never directly sees him. Unfortunately, Eddie knows Steve will be at the same table as always at lunch which is right in his line of sight.

When he sits down, his friends are already nudging him and cracking jokes about Prince Charming and whatnot that pisses Eddie off. It makes things worse when he sees Steve sitting with his back to him, which he's never done before. At one point, Eddie just snaps, gets up, and leaves the cafeteria saying he needs a minute. He rushes off to his locker, digging around for his spare pack of cigarettes when he hears a pair of footsteps to his left.

He sighs and closes the locker door, expecting to see a teacher who has followed him, expecting him to do something suspicious. Instead, he gets the shock of his life when he sees Steve walking right up to him.

As Steve approaches, Eddie dumbly says, "Are you looking to buy something?"

Steve runs a hand through his hair before shaking his head. "No, I'm not, Cinderella."

Eddie's eyes widen. There's no way...

"Did you really think I didn't know who you were?" Steve asks, and Eddie can't get a read on him, but he seems... upset.

"I'm sorry?"

Steve sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. “Eddie, I know it was you, and I want to know why you've been avoiding me all day. Like did it really mean nothing to you? Is that why you didn't tell me your name?"

Eddie's head spins a little too fast at the revelation, so he clarifies, "Wait, you knew it was me the whole time?"

"Yes. I thought you were just really pretending to be in character or something, but today you were icing me out. And I know we haven't really talked before Friday night, but I thought I was clear about wanting to change that."

"Then why did you face with your back toward me in the cafeteria?" Eddie blurts out without thinking.

"There was something on my chair," Steve answers easily.

"Oh." Okay, maybe Eddie is an idiot but, "Wait, you really knew who I was and still, "he lowers his voice and leans in, "...kissed me?"

A look of realization crosses over Steve's face before he smiles. "Eddie, I've been staring at you for weeks now, and I just hadn't gotten the courage to talk to you yet. You're pretty intimidating."

"Me? I'm intimidating? You're literally called 'King Steve.'" Steve frowns at the title, but Eddie continues, "I never thought I had a shot with you without the mask on - or even with the mask on. I was avoiding you today because I didn't want you to realize it was me and reject me."

"I thought you called yourself Cinderella because I was dressed as Prince Charming," Steve laughs.

"I didn't even realize that was Cinderella's prince!" Eddie nearly shrieks, laughing loudly along with Steve. "We're a disaster," he says through his laughter.

Steve takes a deep breath, trying to kill his laughter a little to say, "I think we should start over a little and go on a date. This time without fake names and the police showing up."

"No promises about the second one," Eddie says with a big smile.

Steve smiles and looks at him as if waiting for something.

"What?" Eddie asks.

Steve laughs anxiously. "Is that a yes to the date?"

"Oh! Christ. Yes! Yes, it is. Sorry," Eddie sighs and runs a hand over his face, noting the way his hands don't catch on a mask this time. Steve Harrington is fine with him being Cinderella - more than fine with it really. He narrows his eyes at Steve. "And this isn't a trick?"

"I thought it would be more of a treat," Steve jokes.

Eddie rolls his eyes and simultaneously laughs at the horrible pun. "Did you know that you're really charming?"

Another laugh is startled out of Steve who quickly tries to hide it. He looks down at the ground and says, "I'm having a hard time thinking of a joke about a slutty vampire."

Eddie groans, "Don't remind me."

"I wouldn't mind if you reminded me," Steve flirts.

"Christ," Eddie says, feeling a blush quickly rise on his cheeks.

The bell for lunch rings again, and this time Eddie wants to curse the entity responsible for it.

"I'll slip you my number later so you can call me later, Cinderella" Steve announces, walking back to the cafeteria where he left his stuff.

"I'm charmed," Eddie replies with a wink that has Steve getting slightly flustered.

As he rounds the corner and gets out of sight, Eddie can't help but think about how Steve really kept his promise about finding him. He also can't wait to have proof that all his friends were wrong, except maybe he was a little bit of a slutty vampire... But it definitely paid off.

And it definitely was a very happy Halloween.

[upsidedownwithsteve]

can i request grumpy gamer Eddie & sunshine reader who just wants to sit on his lap?

Fluffy goodness, maybe his friends who are playing too get really confused when he suddenly really soft and gooey when talking to his gf

i absolutely loved the gxs period fic!! It was so cute 🥺

thank you bby! 🧡

Eddie was losing. Badly. Eddie hated losing.

You’d watched him from his bed, his back to you as he sat on his chair, shoulders tensed, his comically large headphones smashing down his pretty curls. You couldn’t see his face, and you’d been flipping through one of his music magazines for the majority of the game tournament, but you knew he was pissed.

“God fucking damn it, Gareth! He was right there!” Eddie jammed his thumb into the controller, pressing buttons at random just to exert some of his frustration. “We’re losing to a bunch of kids, man, this is pathetic.”

There was a garbled response from Eddie’s headset, an indignant voice blurring with the distinct staticky glee of Dustin Henderson. “Su- it, Mu-son! Told you we cou- ick your a-”

Eddie didn’t get to reply because you’d pushed the magazine to the side, padding barefoot across the room until you could push at his chair and drop yourself into his lap. The boy blinked, feeling guilty that he’d almost forgotten you were there, too wrapped up in his game and annoyance. But you curled into him, bare legs folded up, feet tucked under his thighs. Your pyjamas were tiny things, soft shorts that were a happy, bright orange, your T-shirt an old thing of Eddie’s that you’d tie dyed in his front yard last summer.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured and you could feel him relax underneath you. He forgot about his game, the headset, his mic. “M’sorry, been neglecting you, huh?”

You didn’t mind, not really. Eddie spent a lot of his time with you, and since Mike was visiting El in California for the month, and Jeff was at his grandmothers in Houston, they’d swapped their weekly Hellfire meetings for an online game night instead.

You just hadn’t expected Eddie to get so worked over a game where most players danced every time they shot someone in the head.

“Christ, Henderson! Are you doing the fucking running man over my corpse?”

“A little,” you said, pouting even though it was mostly for show. You liked the way Eddie’s frown smoothed out when he looked at you, how he dropped his controller in favour of running his warm palms over the tops of your thighs. You sighed, forlorn and dramatic. “You’re awfully grumpy.”

From the headset, you heard Dustin snort. “He is, isn’t he?”

Eddie scowled again, shoving the thing off his head and pulling you closer all in one motion. The game was still playing, a new round starting but Eddie’s played remained static.

“You should fix it,” he murmured, squeezing his arms around your middle as he pushed his face to your neck, grumbling playfully as he pretended to gnaw at it. “Need some lovin’ from my girl.”

You squeaked, pushing at his forehead when he didn’t relent, the faint scrape of stubble tickling your skin. “You do?” You were beaming, a bright, wide thing that Eddie swore could stop the world from spinning. “C’mere then.”

Eddie grinned back, the controller slipping from his knee to the floor as he pulled your over his lap, your thighs slipping and spreading over his. He gave your ass a little tap, humming happily, a million miles from the boy who was scowling and swearing at his computer screen five minutes ago.

“Kiss,” Eddie demanded, full lips puckered, eyes twinkling.

You smoothed your hands over his cheeks to oblige, holding him gently as you leaned in, both of you ignoring the sounds of protests and distant explosions from the mic at Eddie’s feet.

[svintsnghostsrecs]

well shit. but also you have such an impeccable music taste with this series. jesus 🤌🤌

ON TOUR.

PART III: UNPLUGGED.

Hyunjin x reader x Felix. (s,f,a)

Chapters: I. SOUNDCHECK / II. OPENING ACT. / IV. HIDDEN TRACK.

Synopsis: Your best friend, Felix, is in a rock band and he takes you to join him on tour as the band’s photographer. On the road, you learn how to deal with his bandmate, Hyunjin, who’s not very welcoming of you. (14,6k words)

Author's note: It's getting warm y'all. I hope you're ready for get spicy :)

Click here for ON TOUR playlist.

It's no surprise that you'll take it the wrong way.

He was mad not because you accidentally unplugged his guitar but because of how reckless you were. Something way worse could have happened if he wasn't there to catch you, you could have hit your head or got electrocuted.

But of course, he shouldn't worry about you when Felix will always be there to comfort you.

Is it what made him mad? Truthfully, he has no idea but this gnawing feeling is becoming visceral. It's taking over him.

So when he knows you're hiding from him, he has to know why? What is it about you that always drives him mad?

"Why do you hate me so much?" You ask while he's still searching for the answer himself in your eyes.

"Tell me why? Because I don't get it. Why did I do to you that makes you hate me so much?"

You don't know. You're just as clueless as he is.

"I'm drunk, you see? You can tell me anything and that's okay, I won't remember it when I wake up in the morning."

But he needs to know one thing, one thing that he's been dreaming of day and night.

"Go ahead! Tell me! Promise I'd forget all about it tomorrow."

He needs to know now, so he does.

Hyunjin kisses you with a curious mind and an open heart, he lets a part of him pours into you hoping that you'll finally be able to tell the truth.

He holds you close and tenderly, kisses you hungrily because that's what he's been craving whenever those lips curve into a smile. And oh... you taste sweeter than he imagined and addictive and intoxicating, it's heavenly.

He splayed his hand on the beautiful arch of your back and pulls you close, not wanting any space separating his body from yours.

The moan you let slip out of your mouth, you have no idea what it does to him, how that makes the blood rushes down south.

If he's mad, it's because he couldn't kiss you all day and night. But he believes you would take it the wrong way too.

He's worried for you, he cares about you, he thinks about you, he does all that and you still think he hates you. It's only right that he's mad because you think that's what he has for you: hate.

He's also mad because he wants you but you're a friend of a friend.

Hyunjin learned his lesson the hard way and that wakes him up from his daze of being sucked into the whirlpools in your eyes.

He pulls away from the kiss, from the daze, from how your eyes plead for one more kiss. Looking back at those eyes makes him want to tell you everything but there's a good chance that you'd only misunderstand him again.

"Now, try to forget that!" He says right to your face despite knowing it'll be hard for him to do the same thing, not when the taste of your lips only reminds him the reason why he did what he did: he wishes you were a stranger.

-

It's not a great morning.

You've been drinking water non-stop to help with the hangover but you can't shake it off yet. It's a good thing that the agency chartered a private plane instead of putting them on commercial flights. You lowly groan as you climb the steps to get into the plane and see that you're the first to get there. You take the farthest seat, all the way back to avoid everyone but ultimately, him, Hyunjin.

A few minutes later, you hear their arrival and you quickly pull the hoodie over your head to hide your face even though it's pointless to do so.

As they're about to take a seat, Vin takes a stand in the front and tells everyone to pay attention to him as he's about to make an announcement.

Of course it's not just an announcement, he's going to scold everyone for going out without his permission.

"Whose idea was it?"

You wince because the idea originated from how they felt bad for you which makes it, technically, your idea. It's hard to admit that you're wrong but you slowly raise your hand to...

"It was me!" Han calmly says.

Everyone stays silent for a moment but Felix raises his hand and says, "But all of us agreed to go," he adds.

That is partly true. Han didn't ask for anyone's approval but yes, everyone just went along with him. Problem aside, it surprised you how Felix lied and it sounded natural, maybe he did change but you didn't know which part of him stays the same.

Vin continues to scold everyone with something along the lines of 'reckless behavior', and 'an important part of your career'. Knowing that those are not aimed toward you and with the hangover weighing your head and the lack of sleep, you start disassociating...

As your mind drifts, it takes you to last night when Hyunjin kissed you against the wall.

"Ugh!" You groan unintentionally loud that everyone is looking at you.

"You have something to say?" Vin asks.

You scratch the back of your head in confusion while trying to think of an answer, "I'm very sorry," you tell him, putting on a sad face as best as you could. Good thing that the hangover supported the look.

After hours of flight, you have to take an hour-long of car ride since the festival is taking place on farmland in the countryside.

It's summer but it's drizzling when you arrived at the hotel or more like a bed and breakfast than a hotel and for the first time, you finally get your own room.

You throw yourself onto the bed and sigh in delight as your head touches the pillow. Man... this is heaven!

The knocking on the door disturbs the peaceful moment. For a second, you feel like pretending not to hear that so whoever is behind that door can leave you alone.

"Are you inside?"

At the sound of his voice, you rush to get up the bed and open the door.

"Yes?" Your vision is a bit blurry from getting up too fast but you see Vin standing there looking serious as usual.

"Follow me, we have a meeting!" He orders, already turning to leave.

He's always like that, making orders without telling you the details. You have zero ideas what the meeting will be about, for all you know, it could be about something else. Imagine how sad it would be if you bring your stuff only for him to tell you that you got fired.

From the doorway of your room, you nervously ask him, "Should I bring my laptop or—"

Vin is about to take the stairs to the second floor when you asked, he looks down at you and says, "Of course!"

The answer is still vague but you quickly grab your laptop and phone, heading upstairs to the small living room where Vin has set his laptop for a Zoom meeting.

It seems that it's not going to be a great day as well, you're not getting fired. At least, not today.

-

Ssick will be headlining the second day of the festival which is tomorrow night.

Hyunjin is getting ready for the band rehearsal and heads downstairs, stopping for a second to see the door of your room closed shut.

Felix and Lou are already downstairs, having coffee in the kitchen even though they have twenty minutes or so before they have to go to a studio nearby.

"Coffee?" Lou offers.

"Sure," Hyunjin answers because when it comes to caffeine, it will never be enough for him.

He pulls a chair next to Felix and sits on it, "Where's Han?"

"He's working on a track, he'll be down in a few minutes," Lou replies as he carefully brings a cup of coffee for Hyunjin.

Felix and Hyunjin exchange a glance, knowing that a few minutes for Han takes more than that.

As if Han heard their thoughts, he lands on the base of the stairs a few minutes later as promised. He got greeted by Hyunjin and Felix's shocked expressions.

"I thought we have band rehearsal in five?" He comes to the dining table and grabs a biscuit Felix is eating.

"I'll get the car," Lou says, getting out of the house to get the car ready.

Lou pulls the car close to the front of the house and Hyunjin gets in after Felix and Han, looking back for a while waiting for someone else to come out.

Felix gets ahead of Hyunjin, asking Lou about you and Vin not coming.

Lou starts driving while talking, "They're in a meeting. Vin said he will catch up soon."

Hyunjin shouldn't be this disappointed to not be able to see you but Gosh, he can't hide it, he wishes to see you.

When he gets back from rehearsal, he walks past your room and he knows you're in there, somehow he can't bring himself to knock on your door.

At the end of the day, his wish stays a wish.

‐

Vin is right.

After finishing the meeting, you had a quick dinner with Vin in the kitchen with the food sent by the kind owner of the bed & breakfast.

He must have felt bad for making you work right after hours long of flight without stopping that he made you go to bed early so you'll be prepared for the job.

11 hours of sleep is really what you needed that you woke up feeling refreshed and ready for today. You'll not be taking just any photos, a magazine wants to do a special coverage for Ssick and they'll be using your photographs.

Since no one has woken up yet, you take a quick stroll around the small village, and apparently, the other performers also staying in the nearest inn or hotel.

"Morning!" A guy greets you as he joins you on your stroll, dressed in a windbreaker with a hoodie pulled over his head.

It feels awkward to interact with other people, guess you've been cooped up in the tour bus too long.

"Morning!" You greet back, slipping your hands inside your coat as you walk through the cold, misty morning.

"You're not from here are you?"

You shake your head, "No."

"You must be with someone?" He asks while matching his pace with you.

"Not really," you answer and you're aware that sounds so vague, "I'm with a band."

He lowly exclaims, "I'm with a band too," he says.

Grabbing his hoodie from being blown by the wind, he turns his head at you and asks, "What band?"

"Ssick," you answer.

"I'm their photographer," you add before he gets the wrong idea, thinking that you're a groupie or something.

"Cool!" He coyly comments.

Through the fog, you can see the bed and breakfast you're staying in with the garden lamp blinking low.

"I'm here," you tell the stranger.

You've just realized you didn't ask for his name when you tell him that but it's too late to ask now that you're leaving.

He glances at you and smiles, "Okay, see you then!"

"See you!" You say back even though you're not sure you'd see him again.

Vin is having a coffee in the kitchen, he doesn't bother to take a seat as his fingers are furiously typing his phone screen.

"Morning!" You greet him.

He doesn't look up but greets back, "How was your sleep?"

"So tight," you reply, taking a mug from the cabinet to pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"Why are you guys talking about being 'so tight' in the morning?" Lou asks from the stairs with his half-shut eyes.

You and Vin burst into laughs, he finally takes a seat at the dining table. Lou also plops onto the empty seat next to him. Breakfast is quiet and it's all thanks to the owner who cooked it deliciously.

"I'll be leaving in fifteen minutes and you," he points at Lou, "take the kids in the afternoon."

You lean against the kitchen counter and think of going with Vin instead of Lou, you don't want to stay still here when you have a lot of things to prepare.

"Can I go with you instead?" You ask Vin.

"Sure," he shortly replies.

In the 10 minutes he gave you, you pack everything you need into a backpack and do not forget your rain boots just in case it will rain as the weather app on your phone predicted.

It only takes ten minutes of car ride to get there, Vin hands you a pass at the entrance. You didn't know that it's a lot pleasant going with Vin, he's so well known that everyone doesn't ask for his ID and greets him warmly.

He takes you to a trailer which will be the band's green room, they even set a little yard outside the trailer with lounge chairs and a parasol.

"You might need this," he gives you a map of the festival with the setlist of performers on the back.

"The festival is so big so don't wander too far," he warns you.

Vin steps out of the trailer as his phone constantly beeping with notifications.

You follow him out of the door, "are you going?"

"Well... yeah," he answers like it isn't obvious enough, "I have to take care of a few things."

You didn't know why you ask him that when that's what he's been doing, going around and taking care of things. You feel stupid for thinking that he came here early just to laze around.

"You can come with me if you want," he offers.

"Can I?" You must have looked like a puppy when you asked him.

He shrugs and walks to the yard, "I can introduce you to some friends," he says.

They're not just some friends.

Vin takes you around the festival grounds, meeting some officials and going around the tents and trailers of the other performers of the festival.

He knows a lot of people, famous or not, but important nonetheless. You even took a few snaps of it because when else you'll get another chance like this?

Vin is again right about the festival being incredibly big, you wouldn't know your way around if you weren't with him. The festival starts at noon with the festival ground gradually crowded with people.

"Want to check a stage?" Vin asks after successfully snatching two burritos for lunch from a band's waiting room.

"Absolutely!" you excitedly answer.

The security lets Vin in without question, they don't even bat an eyelash at yours since you're coming with him.

It's fascinating to know the inside scoop of his job and get to know him more in the process. The Vin that you know is a little uptight and always serious but from the way you've seen how people greeted him warmly, he's so much more than his job.

Hours passed by because of how far it gets from one place to the other, Vin gets you to visit another stage as a band he knows about to play.

"I was once their manager," Vin whispers at you as he gets to the back of the stage with you following him closely from behind.

The band is warming up when Vin makes an appearance and they're delighted to see him, exchanging hugs and jokes, making you feel left out for a bit until someone recognizes you.

"I know you," he says.

You recognize him as the guy who took a stroll with you this morning, he looks unrecognizable without his raincoat and the mist.

Vin turns around to introduce you, "she's working for the band and..." He then introduces him to you, "This is Jeongin!"

You take a step forward to shake hands with him and he smiles at you so warmly that dimples appeared on his cheeks.

"Would love to talk more but we have to get on the stage," he says.

"Oh sure, please don't make them wait," you almost wince at how stupid you sounded as if they would delay their performance just to talk to you.

You and Vin watching their performance together from the side of the stage. On their second song, Vin excuses himself because the band has arrived from the text message he got from Lou.

"You can stay," he tells you.

"But—"

"It's okay, you can stay," he assures you.

You nod because it's useless to answer him against the loud music playing.

"Have fun!" He adds with a squeeze on your shoulder.

As you turn to watch the band again, you see Jeongin looking at you.

-

Hyunjin sees the camera bag but not the owner.

He can't get any hints about your whereabouts either as Lou is going out of the trailer as soon as he received a message from Vin.

"Vin will be here so please, don't set anything on fire!" Lou warns them.

When he thought Han only left for the bathroom, he went with Lou to God knows where. It shouldn't upset him but everyone is leaving without telling him, only Felix is staying in the trailer with him.

He senses Hyunjin is getting antsy from the way his knee is bouncing despite he is slouching on the sofa.

"They're at the D stage," Felix informs as he got a reply from Lou telling him where they are.

"Do you want to go?"

Hyunjin tries to act nonchalant about it but can't wait to get out of there as well, "yeah, okay," he coyly says.

He can only hope that the beanie he's wearing is enough to hide his red hair, he kind of regrets it now for dying it with such bright color.

It's easy to tell that a few people recognize him, not when Felix is also with him and making it easier for them to know for certain that it's them.

Luckily, most of them decided to leave them be. Felix calls Lou once again to know their exact location while Hyunjin is craning his neck looking for them around the stage.

The second Hyunjin spots Lou's bleached buzzed hair, he points at the pit after the barricade and shouts, "There they are!" 

He lets Felix takes the lead, running to where Han and Lou are watching a band's performance. Hyunjin swallows air because he knows you're also there.

Instead of you, he finds someone else. It's too late to avoid her as she looks his way.

"Hyunjin?" She calls.

Felix also heard her calling for Hyunjin, he turns to Hyunjin and asks, "Who is she?"

It's someone he wishes not to see.

-

Ssick's stage starts at 9.

Vin insists that everyone must gather at the trailer at 8.15 at the latest and you're 5 minutes late. Running from the gate to the trailer after getting lost in the mud and walking in it isn't easy either.

You can feel beads of sweat on your back but keep running to the trailer, the golf car that you assume will be used to take the band there is parked outside the trailer.

"I'm sorry, I'm late!" You blurt out the moment you get into the trailer.

You're so ready to get scolded but the only person you found inside is Vin, a hand on his waist and the other is pressing his phone close to his ear.

"I told you to take them here by 8," he nags into the phone.

It's safe to assume that it's Lou or any of the band members, whoever that is, hope they're doing okay. You silently take your camera bag from the countertop and sling the strap around your shoulder.

"You," Vin points at you.

"Yes?" You shortly reply with horror in your eyes.

"You can go first," he says.

You stifle a nod and go outside, it's not the time to ask for details so you get on the golf car per his instruction, no questions asked.

Thanking the driver before they head back to pick up the band, you prepare your camera as the staff still working on setting the stage despite the crowd filling the ground.

You take a peek from the side of the stage and instantly get goosebumps, there are so many people, all the way to the back, as far as your eyes can see.

They're so big, so popular, it's a time like this that you feel grateful for your job.

The stage itself is so big that you get tired from taking a walk around the front, you take a few pictures of the crowd behind the barricade and ones with interesting banners or costumes.

A few minutes before the stage starts, rain is pouring and you quickly go to the back of the stage to grab two disposable raincoats, one you wrapped around your camera and you put the other one on you.

Tonight will be one for history. Not trying to pressure yourself, but the pictures you're taking today will be published in a magazine.

The band takes the stage at 9.10 due to the weather check but fortunately, the rain turns into light showers, therefore they're allowed to perform.

Despite the weather and the ground turning into a pit of mud and puddles, the crowd becomes alive once they opened the stage with two songs non-stop until they get to their introduction.

"Hello, we're Ssick!" Han speaks into the mic.

He wipes the sweat on his forehead and brushes the hair curtained his face to the back, "Thank you for choosing to have fun with us in the rain!"

The crowd cheers, ignoring their heads and clothes that are sopping wet from the rain and you can feel their enthusiasm, how they're having fun without care.

You can stay down the pit long because Felix's solo is coming up soon, dragging your feet in the mud. You climb to the stage fast.

Unlike the last time, you coordinated it well with Lou. He'll guide you from behind as you take their pictures on the stage. Lou grabs a fistful of the back of your t-shirt while muttering cautions, "Be careful with the cables!"

You listen to him with your hand rapidly taking pictures from different angles. Your heart is pounding as the music roaring loud that there's no time to get personal when it comes to capturing Hyunjin in pictures, turning everyone's heads to see his nimble fingers on the guitar.

That feels like a second when you spent four minutes on the stage. Lou pulls you back to the side of the stage and you only realized then that a few people are watching the show from here.

Just like you predicted, it's one of the most memorable of all the stages they've done. They're so reluctant to get off the stage even though the night is late and from dark shadows hanging in the sky, it seems likely that the rain will pour again.

The band is celebrating their successful night headlining festival inside the big tent right behind the stage, so many people coming, famous and important.

You see the girl you saw earlier, she is one that you recognized watched the band from the side of the stage.

As you threw the disposable raincoats into the bin, Lou comes to you with a bottle of water.

"Thank you," you mutter, taking it from him and not wasting another second to gulp it.

He hands you a towel next, using it to dry your hair and neck, brushing your damp hair from the mix of sweat and rainwater with your finger to put them into place after.

"So many people," you mutter under your breath.

Lou shrugs as he takes a sip of his beer, "well, they're famous," he simply says.

You steal a sip of his beer and gasp, "Can't relate to that."

From across the tent, you see the girl making her way to Hyunjin and starts talking to him. You don't want to know but you know you can't rest well without knowing who she is.

"Who is she?" You ask without looking at their direction as they're engaged in a conversation.

You take a bottle of beer from the cooler and uncap it, even though you're not a fan, today is an exception.

"You know that Hyunjin was in a band before Ssick, right?"

You nod and take a sip of the finely chilled beer.

"Rumor has it that he decided to quit the band because he and the vocalist fought over a girl," Lou explains with a subtle sly smile.

You scoff in disbelief, "Let me guess... she is the girl?"

Lou repeatedly nods, slyly smiling even when he's sipping his beer.

"So it's not the finale yet?" You playfully ask.

"Kind of," he replies.

So Hyunjin is hung up on a girl or is it the other way around? You don't want to know. You're already having a hard time doing what he asked you to do and that is to forget that stupid kiss.

That doesn't seem like a hard task now that you know he has a girl in his mind.

You take another look at them, talking to each other with eyes that also speak so much. Your eyes drift to Felix who's standing next to Hyunjin, also looking like he doesn't seem to fancy her as much.

You finish your beer and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, "I'm going to the trailer. I need to wash up," you tell Lou.

"Want me to come with you?" Lou offers.

"Nah, I'll be back soon," you tell him.

Using the flashlight on your phone only helps so much with the muddy grassy path back to the trailer. It feels so close when you took the ride with the golf car, now you wish you took Lou's offer.

Taking a moment in the trailer, you struggle to take off your rainboots and wet clothes. You grab a sweater from the merch box and put it on, you're no longer shivering with dry clothes on.

Now that you're comfortable, you don't want to go back to the tent. You'd rather stay in the trailer and starts working on your photos, you're not trying to avoid a person or something. It's just been a tiring day already and...

"Hey, why aren't you partying?"

You search for the source of the voice and find Jeongin shouting from inside the car. He sees you standing in the doorway of the trailer with your camera bag, looking ready to go. You hope he doesn't see the conflicted feelings in your eyes.

"Do you need a lift?"

Without you realizing it, you nod at his offer and his dimpled smile.

-

Hyunjin's wish to see you is not yet granted.

Well, yes, he saw you taking his pictures but he couldn't see your face or heard your voice. He only got glimpses when he wanted to see the whole picture and stares at it as long as he could.

"She said she'll be back soon," Lou sounded worried as he ranted to Vin about you not coming back to the tent yet.

"I saw her leaving with the Cle boys," Vin calmly answers as if he just didn't let you go with a group of guys you don't know.

"What?" Felix is the first to show his concern at how wrong that sounded, "what do you mean she left with another band?"

And Felix rarely gets mad, not even at the slightest inconvenience.

"They're all good kids," Vin assures them, "also, they knew each other when I introduced them," he adds.

"Knew each other?" Felix once again represents Hyunjin by asking the question.

Vin turns at him and put his phone away, "look, I know their mothers. I'm sure they just hanging out or something," he says.

"Let's just go," Han breaks the intense conversation with exhaustion drawn on his face.

Hyunjin feels uneasy. He can't rest well even when you're in sight but now, no one knows where you are and you're with people that he doesn't know and it stressed him out that he has to hide his concern.

Hyunjin can only ball his hands into fists on his lap, worrying you and worrying about things that could happen.

It surprises him that Hyunjin isn't the only one worrying about you, well, besides Felix. Han is calling your name the moment he enters the bed and breakfast where they're staying.

"She's not here!" Han says as he checks your room and it's empty.

Vin heavily sighs, "she's going to be okay," he insists when he's unsure of his answer as well.

Lou calls you on the phone but you're not answering. He calls you again and still no answers. Everyone starts to panic and Hyunjin can only watch, getting nervous as time passes with no clues of your whereabouts.

"You guys can rest. Lou and I will search for her," Vin resolves as he puts his jacket back on.

Hyunjin stays where he is and the others too, no one is obeying Vin. He draws a sharp breath through his nostrils and is about to scold them again for the third time today when they collectively heard footsteps coming from the stairs.

"You guys are back?" You innocently ask with your hair wrapped in a towel and a toothbrush in hand.

Lou starts to laugh while Felix comes to pick you up at the base of the stairs, "where have you been?" His voice is strained from holding his anger in.

"I had to use the bathroom upstairs. The hot water not coming out from the one downstairs," you answer while going down the stairs. Felix pulls you into his hug as you remain confused about the situation.

Hyunjin's body relaxed as he quietly lets out a sigh of relief and finally have his wish granted.

Han picks up his bag from the floor and heads for the stairs, "I really thought you turn to become a groupie for another band," he jokingly says.

You get even more confused with what he said, "huh?"

Vin rubs his forehead and closes the door, "I told you. She's fine," he mutters as he takes his jacket off again.

You hold hands with Felix, taking him to the kitchen to talk, "what happened?"

Felix puts his hands on the dining table to support him, "Vin saw you left with the other..." he doesn't finish his sentence, "Nevermind. We're glad you're okay."

Your mouth parts open in surprise, certainly didn't expect them to worry this much for you.

"They gave me a lift here so I could start early on retouching the photos for the magazine," you concisely explain.

Hyunjin is listening to your conversation when Vin grabs him by the arm, taking him upstairs with him, "Let's get some rest. We have an early flight tomorrow!"

Hyunjin has seen you and he has heard your voice, but it's not enough. It'll never be enough.

He's afraid that as each day passes, he wants more than just seeing and hearing.

-

Back on the tour bus, it feels like going back home when in fact, the tour bus gives you a sense of comfort like home, while in fact, it's not.

Also, you're getting used to a lot of things and the staffs know you now that you got greeted everywhere you go. The people you're with feel more than just acquaintances and coworkers, they feel like one big unit. Maybe that's just the result of what happens when you put people in a moving, confined space together for a period of time.

Looking back at it, you were so skeptical about this job, your skill, and your ability to handle life on the road. Now, you feel proud of yourself for overcoming those struggles.

The bad and the good that happened are lessons that you must learn to be able to grow as a person.

There are only a few stops left on the tour and your heart is aching that this is going to end soon. It makes you hold on to it tighter than before. Especially knowing that soon, all of these will become memories.

This, the present, will soon become a part of that precious memories too.

You're on your way back from soundcheck when you meet Vin right outside the door, "I got something for you," he says.

You uneasily smile because that's an unlikely thing for him to say, "Y-yeah?"

He puts his arm around your shoulder and gets into the green room together. From the table, he takes a magazine and flips open to a page, once he found what he's looking for, he shows it to you.

It's so surreal that it feels like seeing a dream, you take the magazine from him and see it yourself. The photos you took at the festival are there, printed on paper. In the corner of the page, you see your name printed in small fonts.

"You did a good job!" Vin proudly says with a squeeze on your shoulder.

You can't help but smile, feeling proud of yourself and for once, receiving a compliment from Vin validated it.

"Drinks on me tonight!" He adds before leaving you to furtherly admire your work on your own.

Happy news should be shared, you're going around the room looking for the one person you can think of in a moment like this. You find him near the changing room with the stylist doing alterations to his jeans.

"Felix!"

"Hey, what's up?" He looks up to see you.

Without saying anything, you show him the magazine with a wide grin on your face.

He leans in close to see and coos in awe, "Whoa, I look so good in here," he points to the picture of him on the page.

Your grin fades and is replaced with an annoyed glare, "This is about me, not you," you tell him.

He bursts into laughter and holds his hand out at you, he can't move with the stylist still adjusting the length of his jeans while squatting down next to his feet.

You take his hand and let him place a kiss on your hand, "congrats, babe!"

Felix knows how to win you over with such a simple gesture, you know he's the right person to share this happiness with. Not forgetting that he's the one who landed you this job. That makes you grateful for him.

"Is this why Vin looks exceptionally happy today?" Lou asks as he flips open the magazine to see it.

You're drinking a can of cola while sitting next to him on the sofa.

"He said he'll be taking us out for drinks tonight," you say.

He whistles in excitement, "It's about time!"

Han snatches the magazine away from him and sees it for himself, "oh, your photos are really great!"

You can't help but smile, "thank you," you sheepishly reply.

Felix appears behind you and casually places a kiss on the top of your head, "that's my girl!" He confidently brags, then walks back to his chair to get his make-up done,

Han aggressively shuts the magazine and slaps it on the table, "excuse me, she's not only taking your photos," he complains.

Han moves to sit next to you and put his arm around your shoulder, there he continues speaking, "Which makes her, respectfully, our girl, not yours."

Lou also put his arm around your shoulder and agrees with Han's remark, "Our girl!"

You're laughing at the way Lou and Han are teasing you by trapping you between them, oblivious that there's someone who has no say in this.

-

Our girl?

Hyunjin likes to hear that, that means you are his too even if it's only a quarter of it. Maybe that's why he's only able to see you. But when it comes to talking to you, even just a simple exchange of good morning like you do with Vin. He's discouraged, afraid that you'd misunderstand him again.

Still... he wants more than just to see and talk.

He wants that pretty smile to greet him as he gets off the stage like you always give to Felix, a pat on the shoulder as you endearingly tell him, "You were so great as always!"

Is that too much to ask for?

There are only a few stops left on the tour and he feels like he's running out of time but what he needs to do is still unclear.

"Hyunjin?"

Someone calls for him and he turns around to find someone he wishes not to see, making her way to him.

"Why are you here?" He's not aware of how rude that sounded but that's the first thing that crossed his head at the sight of her.

The girl whom he likes once, who is a friend of a friend and she got in between their friendship. If there's one thing Hyunjin learned from this, to never like a girl who's a friend of a friend because, in the end, he could lose both the friendship and love.

She chuckles at Hyunjin's defensive response, "I was in town for a job so... I don't see why I shouldn't come," she answers.

It was two weeks ago that they met at the festival and she was there because her boyfriend, a friend and a former bandmate of Hyunjin, performing at the festival too.

But the main reason why he doesn't want to see her again is because Hyunjin chose to step away from it, he gave her up to save at least his friendship. That too, he couldn't save it.

There's no regret because Hyunjin knows it's for the best. So, he doesn't get why she's here.

From the way her smile wavers, Hyunjin senses that she knows she's not welcomed.

Felix comes behind him, "Come on! Vin is going to treat us to drinks tonight!" He excitedly says to Hyunjin.

It takes Felix a moment to realize that there's someone else there and a low gasp slipped out of him, "Oh...?"

"Well, I'm certainly not invited," She playfully remarks with a sad smile.

Hyunjin is not that petty but he wishes that he can be firm, telling her no would be the right choice.

"What are you guys doing? Let's go!" Vin shouts from the end of the hallway.

Then again, Hyunjin can't bring himself to say no, "You—"

Felix cuts through Hyunjin's words, "We'd love to invite you but it's for close people only so..."

She sheepishly smiles and nods, "it's alright," she says.

People are prone to Felix's charm and Hyunjin is thankful that Felix decided to step in and politely reject her on his behalf, it makes things easier for him.

"But we hope you enjoyed the concert," Felix quickly adds.

"I did. I had so much fun," she responds.

She fiddles with the strap of her bag, having something to say to Hyunjin but can't say it with Felix in there.

He senses it and excuses himself to leave first.

"Hyunjin," she calls.

He doesn't answer but looks at her, how her eyes are looking back at him but not giving the same effects as they used to.

Hyunjin doesn't need to hear another one of her efforts to make her way in, "listen," he says.

"I made my choice and you know what? I like where it took me," he explains.

That catches her off guard, maybe didn't expect Hyunjin to reject her right here, right now.

Hyunjin places his hand on her shoulder, "I'm afraid there's no second chance for us," he softly speaks to her.

Her eyes turn glossy the longer he looks at them but also in them, he can see everything clearly for the first time.

She sniffles and says, "But Hyunjin—"

"I like someone else," he blurts out and he's sure of what he said, sure that it's what he feels for you. He likes you, he wants you.

That sounds final to her that she has nothing to say back to him but leave for good. It's sad that Hyunjin has failed his first love but isn't that why it's called first love? Because there'll be a next one.

Hyunjin wants to do better on the next one and he knows what to do now.

-

Vin doesn't play around when he says he's treating everyone to drinks.

He takes everyone to the hotel bar which is located on the 8th floor of the hotel, providing its visitors with a stunning view of the city at night.

"We have finished more than fourteen concerts in nine cities and one festival this summer," Vin says, standing at the end of the table with a drink in his hand.

"I'd like to thank everyone for behaving..." he pauses for a second, changing his mind about what he wanted to say, "not so well but still manageable," he finally finishes.

He turns at you who sits between Felix and Lou on the left side of the table, "and our new addition to the bunch..."

You smile at him, curious about what he has to say about you.

"I realize that I never get to tell you how you've been very patient with me, us...." a wave of laughter halts him from continuing.

"Despite that, I am grateful that you're part of the team and I want to tell you that you've been working hard," he earnestly says.

It's the first time you heard him talking from the deep down of his heart that it elicits an emotional response from you. You feel validated and appreciated, you feel seen and heard, acknowledged.

"Come here!" He gestures for you to come to his side.

You get up from your seat with the help of Felix pulling the chair for you, then take a stand next to Vin.

"This is for you, for putting up with us," he raises his glass.

And everyone followed suit, raising their glasses in the air.

"And for four more shows to go!" He adds.

"To our girl!" Han shouts from across the table.

You laugh because he's not letting go of the debate.

But Vin repeated his words back to everyone at the table, "To our girl!"

With that being said, everyone is finally allowed to drink their picks of alcohol. You drink yours as well and wince at the burning feeling down your throat as you swallowed it all.

Vin pulls you into a side hug, "Have a lot of drinks tonight. You deserve it!"

You chuckle at his words, "thank you," you mutter to him.

That indeed sounds so tempting, you would love to keep drinking and have fun after a little while.

But the last time you got drunk, it didn't end that well. You want to avoid making the same mistake, so you decide to drink moderately and try not to think of Hyunjin, how he talked to that girl in the hallway with his hand on her shoulder, how you failed to do what Hyunjin asked you to do.

That fucking kiss, you curse inside your head and finish your first drink of the night.

Somehow on the third drink, the melancholic feeling that this soon will be over returns, hitting you with a wave of sadness that you have a hard time swallowing your drink.

"Have another one with me," Lou says, refilling your glass with more drink.

"It's the last one for me," you inform him.

He laughs as he slides the drink at you, "yeah, sure," he says with a sly smirk.

You might have lied about that being the last drink, you have two more drinks after and alternate it with soda in between.

It's a good strategy, you feel like a real adult for being sober enough to walk back to your hotel room while Lou has to send Han back to his room, drunk out of his mind.

The sight of the mess on the table distracts you, your initial plan is to end the day right here. No one asks you to do anything today, not even Vin.

"Ugh!" You groan, losing the battle to remain unbothered about not finishing your work of the day.

It's a habit that you created yourself and you suffer from it now.

I should have gotten drunk, you scold yourself.

There's a knock on the door, it must be Lou coming back from putting his best friend to sleep. You open the door without looking and walk back to the desk, "I'll be working all night. You can have the bed," you tell him.

You hear no answer but the sound of the door being closed behind you.

A while later, someone else replies to you, "You don't have to worry, he'll be sleeping in my room tonight."

Who did you let in just now? You know who it is but you refuse to believe that you're right. You take a deep breath before bracing yourself to the grand reveal, that it's him, Hyunjin.

"What are you doing here?" You have the right to be defensive, considering that it's your room, the only private space you have and he came here uninvited.

"I want to talk to you," he calmly replies.

You get up from your chair as he's coming closer and leans against the headrest of the chair.

"About what?"

"About us," he shortly replies.

Your heart starts beating so fast and you don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing it, you clear your throat before speaking again.

"I don't think we have something to talk about," you hope he didn't hear how your voice quivers at the end of the sentence.

"Oh, we do," he says while still walking towards you even though he's close enough that you have to start looking up to look at him due to the height difference.

You're not in the mood for his unfriendly words and glares, "We can talk some other time—"

"I want you to know that I have nothing between me and that girl," he says, sharing information that you don't even ask in the first place.

You hold your hands up to stop him from continuing and furtherly thinking that you want to know the truth.

"No, I don't care. I don't want to know," you tell him as best as you can without having to be rude because that's his thing, not yours.

He takes another step closer, eliminating the gap between your bodies and leaving mere inches for you to breathe. How can you think if you can see his beautiful face this close that you can see the tiny mole under his left eye? How can you force your brain to work it's busy playing the recollection of that night in the back of your head, haunting you with how soft his lips feel against yours.

"I want you to know. I want you..." he emphasizes the word you with an intense stare, "to care. I want you to be jealous," he insists his narrative on you and wanted it to be true.

That sounds just so absurd coming from him and it's making you burst into laughter. The most careful and reserved person you ever come across said that. You feel bad to let him know that you could be anything but jealous. In terms of look, yeah, you're jealous that she's much prettier than you but jealous because she's with him...

"I am not jealous," you tell him with a scoff, but that doesn't sound convincing, that sounded like you're offended instead.

"Why should I be jealous? I-I'm—" You lose track of what you're going to say to him. You wince at how you make yourself look like a fool in front of him.

"Our kiss... did you manage to forget it?" He cuts you off with a question that you don't have the answer to.

Slightly tipping his head, Hyunjin leans a little closer to the side of your head you can feel his breath fanning your cheek.

Needing something to hold on to, you grip the edge of the chair behind your back, tightly.

"Why do you care so much whether I forgot about it or not?" Your voice is shaky and small.

He slyly smiles and it looks good on him as if he knows it would scramble your brain, making it hard for you to stay focused. In other words, he knows he's winning.

"If you forgot about it then..." he puts his hand under your chin and angles your head, forcing you to look at him right in the eyes.

"I just have to remind you again," he softly speaks as it takes everything in him to try not to kiss you from the moment he laid your eyes on you.

Now that he leans in closer than before and you can feel his warm breath brushing your lips. As much as you don't want to be reminded, you close your eyes in anticipation of what's coming at you.

As your lips collide in a rapturous, spellbinding kiss that takes your breath away but at the same time, breathes life into you.

Hyunjin kisses you tenderly, savoring the taste that he craves so much. He kisses you slowly because that's how he should treat a beautiful thing.

And a beautiful thing is always fragile. 

-

Hyunjin is drunk from your scent.

That doesn't stop him from planting kisses on any skin he can land his lips on, soft on soft, like kissing a flower. No words are needed when his desire is taking control of his body and your body answers to his craving.

He uses his hand to feel you all over, fingertips trailing every inch of your skin that makes him whimper under his breath.

You're much softer than he imagined, silky soft, and warm, so sensitive to his touch, shivering every time he touches you in certain places.

He can feel your hesitant yet curious hands exploring his body, slowly and gently, like you're afraid it would discomfort him. Oh, if only you know how much he likes being touched by your pretty hands. He takes them and kisses each fingertip with his lips right in front of you.

"You're so soft," he softly sighs as he pushes your hand close to his cheek, then places a tender kiss on the inside of your hand.

You look at him with your eyes in a daze, probably thinking that it was all just a dream.

So he leans in and kisses you for the umpteenth time that night, carefully putting his body on top of you, skin on skin, his body on your body, becoming one under the cover.

As he pulls away from the kiss, he puts his elbow against the mattress to take a good look at you. His thumb wipes your lips, still amazed at how soft they feel.

It tempts him to place another kiss and they're softer against his lips, he feels like kissing the clouds.

"How come you're so soft?" He asks in pure wonder.

All Hyunjin knows is loud and rough, all he's been touching are metal strings and hard surfaces, and his ears are used to buzzing noises and explosive sounds.

Now that he lays his hand on you, he knows that you're something that he should treat gently, with so much tenderness and care, he doesn't want to break such a beautiful thing with his hands that only knows how to push things to the limit.

He gently rubs your cheek with his knuckle, heating under his touch. He leans in to kiss you again, having no power in him to stop himself, he believes kissing you has become an addiction.

He's only an inch away from your lips when you open your mouth to say, "But you hate me..." 

Hyunjin smiles because he has expected to hear this from you, sooner or later, he didn't know you would choose to say this when he's about to kiss you.

"I do hate you," he says.

Your eyes widened at his answer while Hyunjin softly chuckled from seeing your reaction.

"I hate you for thinking that's the only thing I feel for you," he explains.

He takes your hand and puts it around his neck, he wants your soft hand touching him, feeling him, all over. Leaning down closer, leaving only an inch between your faces.

"I feel other things too for you. I like you from the moment we met, I care for you, I worry about you, I think of you, sleep or awake. I like having you around me, I like seeing you everywhere I look and when I'm not looking, I unconsciously search for you. I am... pathetically in love with you," he pours every content of his heart, everything that you need to know.

Your gaze softens and it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, like watching the sun rises in your eyes, hopeful and warm.

"But you have no idea, do you?" He says with his eyes deeply staring into yours.

"How would I know when you always seemed to be mad at me?" You innocently ask him back.

That makes Hyunjin chuckles. He admits that his way of showing you affection is unconventional. What can he say? He's bad at it. But he likes how innocent you sound that he hastily kisses your lips, he then draws a sharp breath and lets out a pleasant sigh, "What do you even know?"

He can't wait to kiss you again so he does, indulging himself in the temptation and how sweet it tastes. The hand that is slipping into the back of his head puts him in utmost comfort.

Hyunjin hasn't seen your body with his eyes but he can picture in his hand from his exploration, the nook and crook, the dips and curves, he admires all of it.

Beautiful would be an understatement but that's what you are. Your eyes, your smile, your lips, the birthmark on your body, the scars that marked your skin, your little fingers, everything.

His hand goes to where he wants to touch you, to show you what he can do, to make you feel good, to...

"Hyunjin..."

You call him again in a heating moment where he unconsciously holds his breath for only God knows how long.

His first thought is that you don't want to do it. It's entirely his fault for reading the signs wrong. He hurriedly draws his hand out from under the cover.

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to," he assures you with a sweet kiss on your lips.

With your hand around his neck, you keep him close and then you whisper into his ear, "Condoms are in the bathroom."

You hide half of your face under the cover, flustered from telling him about it. He finds it adorable that he wants to take a bite of you.

"I'll go get it," he says, doesn't waste time walking to the bathroom to get it. He spots your toiletry bag near the sink, rummaging inside to take two foil packs.

When he returns, you're waiting on the bed while clutching the bed cover to your chest. Hyunjin sits at the edge of the bed to open one and securely rolled the rubber down his length.

It slightly surprises him that you greet him with a kiss as he gets under the cover, he takes it that you begin to relax around him.

That means he's on the right way so he kisses you back, hungrily and intensely with his hand squeezing the flesh on your waist. He gives you a moment to make yourself comfortable around him before letting his hand wander down south.

You part your legs open for him and let him touch you there, touching the delicate flesh that's already wet even though he hasn't started yet.

He's aware of how rough his hand is, he attentively watches your face to make sure you're uncomfortable with the way he touches you.

That doesn't enough for him, he needs to know for sure. "Good?" He asks against your lips.

You pull away just enough to give him a nod of confirmation.

More kisses, more touches later, his hand is drenched in your essence and his cock is throbbing, impatient to be inside you.

Hyunjin decides to hover above you without taking his lips off of you. He takes his hand away from your cunt and rubs your lips with his fingers coated with your juice, doesn't hesitate to kiss you next.

Oh, he can taste all of you in that kiss and it's so fucking sweet. He gasps when he lets go of the kiss.

It's driving him wild, making him so eager to be inside you. He slips his hand under the cover and slowly, exposes your body as he puts the cover away.

"Beautiful..." he murmurs as his eyes are feasting on your heavenly body.

Maybe this is why you kept it hidden all these times, you knew that it would make him salivate like a hungry animal. Hyunjin sits on the space between your legs and keeps them open wide for him, he pumps his hard cock with his hand before rubbing it on your slit, lubing it with your bodily fluid.

Moans spilling out of your parted mouth, low and sultry, instantly become his new favorite tune.

Be gentle, he reminds himself, fighting the urge to be inside you as soon as possible.

A broken moan escaped your mouth as Hyunjin teases your entrance with only the tip.

"Let's take it slow, mmh?" and he should have said that to himself.

Holding your legs in place, Hyunjin continues by slowly entering you. He pushes into you with eyes intently watch as his length disappears into you little by little.

Gosh, you take him so well, so good, so tightly. He groans at the overwhelming feeling, engulfed in the immense pleasure of finally being inside you, becoming one with you.

He lowers his mouth on your neck and kisses you there, humming as the pleasure of being inside you hasn't dissipated yet.

"Mmh. Yeah, so good, you feel so good," he murmurs close to your ear.

After a moment of composing himself, Hyunjin kneels on the bed and hooks your legs around his waist. He begins thrusting into you and each thrust sends him deeper into you that he's having a hard time controlling himself.

He doesn't want to rush it, he wants to make it last as long as he could, he wants to make it special for you, he wants to—then you clench around him when he thought he had it controlled.

"Good?" He asks as he looks down at you.

There's no reply and he knows it's because you're too shy to say it. From the way your body moves along to his cock slipping in and out of you, he believes it is.

Hyunjin takes a moment to take it all in: how beautiful you are laying under him, your breasts jiggling along to his intense thrust into you, your hands tightly gripping the sides of your pillow and your toes curling against the white sheet.

It's all beautiful, devastatingly beautiful.

Hyunjin slowed his pace and lowers his body on you, he kisses you while keep motioning his hips into you.

"Let's cum together, mmh?"

You're panting against his lips yet you are still able to respond with a nod.

Hooking your legs around him once again, he starts to pick up the pace. His hands found yours and laced them together with his, pinning them on each side of your head.

"Close, mmh?" He can tell from your moans turning into breathless whines.

Hyunjin thrusts faster than before, fast as he could, taking both of you to your highs.

"Look at me," he orders, making you turn your head to look and locked eyes with him. He wants to see your eyes, how they shine with his cock deep inside you. He's curious about what he'll see in them as you come undone.

However, your eyes are fluttering shut when he feels you cumming around him and you're sucking him deeper, tighter that Hyunjin has no way to fight the urge anymore.

One, two thrusts later, he gets to his release, filling the condom with his seed. He collapses on top of you, his chest against your chest, two hearts lying so close together.

"I hate you," he says to you.

"I hate you for making me so crazy over you."

Hyunjin might have emptied his heart by telling you the truth, but his heart remains full of his love for you.

-

You think you're dreaming it.

Without opening your eyes, you touch the hand wrapped around you and it's real. You look over your shoulder to see him, his faded red hair looking like cotton candy against the white pillow.

Time for a reality check. You rub your eyes and take another look. Hyunjin is fast asleep next to you, his hand is around you, holding you close.

Naked.

You suddenly get so aware of yourself, of your body and appearance. He has seen everything by now but still, your insecurities are not going anywhere.

The knocking on the door comes again.

Then you realized that you woke up thinking you dreamed of hearing the knockings. It's probably Lou, he needs to take his things.

"It's me, Felix!" 

That's when you are filled with dreads. You scramble to pick up your clothes from the floor but that would take too much time and he'll keep knocking.

You grab a bathrobe from the bathroom and put it on quickly while heading to open the door.

"Yes?" You open just enough to pop your head out of the door.

He grins at the sight of you, "Did I wake you?"

You shake your head and put on a not-so-convincing smile, "No, I was in the bathroom," you lied.

"Oh?" He notices that you're in a bathrobe.

"What's up?" You ask.

"Let's get breakfast together," he says.

Felix did take you on breakfast a few times before but you didn't expect him to do it again today of all days.

"I-I have a stomach issue," you makeup excuses on the spot but can't find anything that is less embarrassing than this.

"You're sick, babe?" He asks with concern.

You shake your head again, "no, just, bad digestion," you stammer.

"Then let's order breakfast from your room," he says and takes a step to go through your hotel door.

"No!" You refuse a little too fast that it startles him.

"I mean, let's have it in your room," you resolve.

Felix is naturally a very caring person and knowing you're sick only gives him a reason to take care of you.

"My room is messy. Lou is unpacking his things... it's messy, you don't want to see it," you stumble on a word but it's convincing enough, or that's what you think.

"Okay then," Felix nonchalantly shrugs, "let's go to my room!"

He takes your hand and is about to drag you away, you keep the door open with your foot.

"I'm naked!" You blurt out.

He quickly lets go of your hand.

"I was about to take a hot bath when you came," you lie again.

He scans you for a moment, head to toe, probably noticing something is off about you, "are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to get back in, put some clothes on and I'll go to your room," you start to rambling.

He takes another look at you then nods, "I go back to my room and order breakfast for us."

"Sounds great!" You exclaim with a fake smile.

"See you then!" He says, heading back to the elevator.

You walk back into your room and shut the door, leaning and banging your head against it, feeling bad for lying to Felix.

Hyunjin is still sleeping and you can't bring yourself to wake him up, not when your best friend is waiting in his room to have breakfast with you.

On the way to Felix's hotel room, you stop by Hyunjin's room knowing that Lou is inside. You softly knock, afraid that if you knocked too loud, Felix would hear it too since his room is right next to Hyunjin.

"Lou, it's me!" You whisper close to the door.

Thankfully, Lou is awake, or half awake more like. His eyes are half open and tired.

You push him back as you step inside and close the door, "Hyunjin is in our room!"

He rubs his eyes, "yeah, I know," he sleepily replies.

"We uh... we—"

"Oh, God! Spare me the explicit details!" He groans while covering his ear, then plops down onto the chair.

It gets you panicked that he knows even before you tell him what happened. Is it that obvious?

You hurriedly cover his mouth with your hand to shut him, "Can you get him... you know, I don't want anyone to know," you don't know how to make it sounds like you're asking him to do the hard task of telling Hyunjin to go back to his room and to pretend that last night didn't happen, at least not in front of everyone.

"Okay," he casually answers.

You put your hands on his shoulders and look into his sleepy eyes, "and please don't tell anyone."

He puts your hand down and sighs, "I don't even tell anyone how you like to steal the hotel's slippers," he mumbles.

To be honest, it's better if anyone knows you had sex with Hyunjin rather than them finding out about that bad habit of yours that Lou secretly learned from sharing a room with you.

"Thank you, Lou!" You sincerely tell him.

He reclines on the chair, "Don't worry. I got you," he assures you with a sleepy smile on his sleepy face.

"Now I have to go to have breakfast with Felix," you hand him your hotel keycard.

"Off seeing your first husband, huh?"

You ignore his joke and exit the room. Taking a deep breath, you stop right in front of Felix's room and then knock on his door.

-

Hyunjin is hoping to find you laying next to him.

Instead of that, someone is throwing a pile of clothes onto his back.

"I'm sorry, dude but you have to skedaddle," Lou says.

He slowly turns on the bed and squints as the sunlight hits his eyes, blinding him.

"What time is it?" He asks while trying to get up.

"It's ten-something," Lou answers. He's walking around the room taking things, and putting on clothes while talking.

His eyes are still heavy with sleep but seeing the space on the bed where you lay asleep so close to him brings him back to last night.

He can still smell you on him, on his lips, and fuck, that sends him thinking of how good you felt around him.

Notices that Hyunjin still hasn't moved from the bed yet, Lou turns around from looking at the mirror on the wall to remind him, "You have a fan sign at noon. You'd better hurry!"

He groans in response to Lou and drags himself out of the bed, in the bathroom he washes his face quickly, then puts on his clothes.

Hyunjin gets into the elevator with Lou as he's planning to go to Han's room which is located across from his. As it arrives at his floor, the doors slide open and he gets surprised to see you with Felix.

"Oh, hey!" Felix greets.

Hyunjin's eyes are on you and he so badly wants to ask why you left in the morning. Why you chose to be with Felix than spend the morning with him?

You look just as surprised, your eyes are open wide, not expecting to meet him there.

"Where are you guys going?" Lou is the one who breaks the silence.

"We just had breakfast and are about to go to get coffee," Felix answers, "what about you guys?"

Lou had to grab Hyunjin by the sleeve of his shirt and drag him out of the elevator.

"We just got back from breakfast downstairs and we're going to wake the sleepyhead," Lou once again being the only one talking to Felix while Hyunjin and you are exchanging cryptic glances at each other.

"You get in first, babe," Felix holds the elevator doors open to let you in first, then he gets in after you.

"Anyone wants coffee?" Felix offers, now holding the doors open with the button on the panel.

"Yes," Lou shortly replies.

"Okay," Felix lets go of the button and the elevator closes.

Lou lets out a long, heavy sigh, "you need to calm down," he tells Hyunjin.

Calm down? He asks inside his head. How can he calm down when he knows his girl is going out with another guy?

"That's Felix. They're friends," Lou reminds him.

That certainly snaps him out of it. Hyunjin indeed, needs to calm down. You are with your friend who's also his friend.

But does it mean he has to keep this relationship a secret?

As if Lou heard his thoughts, he stops him from walking with a hand on his chest.

"Look, I know you like her but telling everyone about it will only complicate things for her."

He turns on his feet to face Hyunjin, "she's working and the job is already hard for her. Letting everyone know about it will make it harder for her," he adds.

Lou licks his lips before speaking, "Give her time, give her space."

Lou is right and maybe that was why the first time he fell in love he fell out of it fast, because he was impatient, thinking that it was okay to hurry love.

He wants to do better this time, he wants forever with you.

"At least, you know, wait until the tour is over then you can do whatever the fuck it is you want," Lou concludes.

He leaves Hyunjin once he has said what he needed to say and goes to knock on Han's room.

"Wake up you sleepy sloth!" He shouts at his door.

At the fan sign, he keeps thinking over, what Lou said to him earlier. He decides that it's best to keep this a secret at least until the end of the tour. Until then, he'll keep this between him and you.

Now that he thinks of you, his mind is taking him back to last night...

"Felix, your birthday is coming soon!" A fan says to him.

That takes him out of his reverie, Hyunjin overheard the conversation since Felix is sitting next to him, and hearing that makes him feel like a terrible friend. He completely forgot that Felix's birthday is only weeks away.

"What is your wish for this year's birthday?" The fan asks him again.

"Love," he answers.

Felix chuckles again and he quickly glances at Hyunjin, so fast that he almost missed it, probably afraid that he finds his answer corny.

"And happiness," he then adds as he signed a poster for the fan.

"Why? Our love is not enough for you?" The fan asks with a pout.

Felix gently shakes his head, "I'm afraid it's not enough," he jokingly says with a wide grin.

When it comes to giving Felix a gift, Hyunjin wants to give him a special one, It's best if it's what he needs. It's what he deserves for being such a good friend, a great bandmate, and an all-around lovely person to keep.

Once the fan sign is done, Hyunjin walks to the car back with him.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"You don't have to," Felix kindly refuses.

Hyunjin puts his arm around his shoulder and asks him again, "What is it? Tell me," he gently shakes his shoulder.

Felix grins as he thinks of something, "A house?"

Hyunjin burst into laughter, knowing that it isn't something that he can't afford, not now, probably not ever.

"You should ask that from Han!"

Felix also laughs and stops at the door of the car, "anything."

Hyunjin sighs because that's too broad, too general. Anything is anything but he's not sure if Felix would like it if he gifted him a piece of chewing gum.

"You give me a useless clue, Felix," Hyunjin mumbles with an annoyed eye-roll.

"I'll appreciate any gifts because that means you think of me when you choose it," Felix explains.

As expected, Felix is simple and warm, he's so pleasant to be with which makes it hard for him to find the perfect birthday gift.

Again, makes him feel like a terrible friend for not knowing what to get for him.

-

It's easier to be said than done.

Seeing you and not being able to touch you is hard. Not when he has known how you tasted and felt like, not when he's addicted to your touches and kisses.

It's been hours since the last time he saw you and he already misses you, so much that it's manifesting into physical pain.

Seeing you with Felix is... he doesn't know how to put it. Jealous? Hyunjin wants your affection and attention for him, him only.

Now he hates you for making him jealous of his friend.

But on top of all that, he wants the assurance that that night happened between you and him. It's real for him and he wants to know if it's real for you too.

It's hard to be alone with you when there are always people around him and when he's alone, you're not there. He thinks of another strategy to find alone time with you.

During soundcheck, he sees you going around the pit with your camera and taking pictures in between. He isn't sure if you looked at him but he did.

How come he misses you more after he saw you?

Letting his other bandmates leave first, Hyunjin stalled by taking small steps behind them. He knows you'll be passing this way too, you always go back to the green room a few minutes after the soundcheck finishes.

So he waits and waits, his heart starts to pitter-patter at the sight of you coming his way.

It's the perfect time to take you someplace that he knows no one will be there.

"Come with me," he says as he grabs your hand and takes you to the hidden chamber under the stage where the logistic boxes are stored.

It's dark with the only source of light coming from the tiny crack between two black curtains.

It's just the two of you now and suddenly, he loses what he's planning to ask you, to say to you.

"What?" Your voice is so low it's almost like a whisper.

"I—" he blanked out, losing his mind as he looks into your eyes, shining even under minimum light.

There's only this small space that separated him from you and he just wanted to get as close as possible to you, his feet take a step closer toward you.

"Yes?" You ask again with those eyes that keep luring him to look, deeper and deeper.

The next thing he knows, he's drowning in them. His hands hold each side of your face and slowly, he kisses you.

In no time, you melt into his arms, resting your hands on his chest as he pulls you impossibly closer to him.

You open your mouth for him, letting him invade you, getting as much taste of you. You kiss him back, softly, opposite to his hungry kisses.

With your hand on his chest, you gently push him away to stop him from kissing you.

"I need to breathe," you tell him while catching your breath.

Hyunjin is not sorry for being so needy yet he bashfully smiles at you, he buries his head in your neck to compensate for not being able to kiss your lips.

You let him have it too. You glide your hands up, putting them around his neck.

The warm breath you exhale tickles his ear but he likes it, he likes it because he can hear your faint giggles as he places fluttering kisses on your neck.

He drops his hands to your waist, wrapping them tightly around you, and pulls you even closer until your body is molded into his.

"I hate you," he playfully whispers to you.

You turn your head to look at him, "what is it now?"

"I hate you for making me miss you," he replies.

You giggle again and it's the cutest thing he ever heard. Oh! The things he wanted to do to you if he wasn't in a dark, confined space with you.

Before you can turn your head away, he captures your lips in a kiss, long and lingering, taking your breath away for the second time.

Hyunjin knows when to stop this time, he lets go of the kiss but not pulling away. He turns to playfully bite on your lower lip, tugging it between his teeth while you can only smile as he does as he pleases.

He stops biting to only start sucking on your lips, then kisses you again at the end while his hands wander by themselves, touching your clothed body and squeezing the flesh with so much passion.

It's getting dangerous now that his kisses become hungrier, harder, and deeper and his hands are slipping under your t-shirt, feeling the heat of your body under his touch.

The right decision is to stop whatever it is he's doing but when he's with you, he can't think straight. Judging from his past experiences, he always ended up taking bad decisions.

"Hyunjin," you call his name while running out of breath.

Should he be thankful that you put on a halt to this?

You smile while taking his hands from you to hold them in yours, intertwining them together and dropping them to the sides.

"We have to go," you remind him.

He pulls you close again, "No, we can stay."

A chuckle escaped your mouth and he steals a kiss on the corner of your lips.

"I'll go first," you volunteer to be the one leaving the secret rendezvous.

Hyunjin holding your hand tighter, not willing to let you go. But he knows he has to, he reminded himself that it's the best option for now.

With a soft kiss on your knuckle, he lets you go.

At the end of the concert, Hyunjin is always the last to get off the stage. He prefers to stick a little longer, waving to his fans, and takes a long, good look at them for making another memorable night together with him.

And you'll be there, at the side of the stage, cheering them for a successful show.

Everything feels different now that he knows you're no longer thinking he hates you, you wouldn't misunderstand him again.

The temptation to just let the world knows that you are his and he's yours is a little too hard to ignore. As he gets off the stage, Hyunjin has to put everything in him not to run and kiss you.

He has to be fine watching you greet someone else with that smile and not getting that pat on the back, telling him he did a good job.

Just three more stops, three more stops and he can have you, all of you.

-

LAST STOP ON THE TOUR.

Something is not right.

Hyunjin senses that something is slightly off with you. At a glance, he can tell that everything is fine just like last night, the two of you went on a secret date and he could tell that you liked it by how your smile didn't wear off for a second.

Something happened after last night. For all he knows, something could have happened this morning.

It's just that when he takes a closer look, he knows something is not right. Your smile wavers, your stay quiet, and your eyes dim, the glints you usually have in them are nowhere to be seen.

Hyunjin needs to make sure that it has nothing to do about him and you, about the relationship. Maybe you're simply having a bad day or feeling sentimental about the tour coming to an end.

It could be that but Hyunjin has to know for sure.

He sees you walking out of the green room, he has only a few minutes then it's his turn to get his make-up done. He runs out and sees you're walking in the hallway, heading somewhere with your camera.

He chases after you and takes your hand, he makes sure no one is around when he takes you inside the infirmary that he knows will always be empty.

You look a little taken aback when he turns to face you.

It becomes a habit now, seeing your face automatically sends his brain to do one thing: to kiss you.

The moment his lips make contact with yours, everything feels alright again and his weariness evaporates into thin air. You smile as he takes more of your lips with a playful kiss, brushing his lips over yours, again and again, hungrily, never enough.

He only lets go knowing that you running out of breath, he brushes the hair that curtain your face and put it to the side, holding them there.

"How are you?"

"I'm good," you answer.

That thin smile you put on your face is telling him the opposite. He holds your face like a piece of glass that could break if he holds it too hard but it would be easy for him to look into your head and see what's bothering you.

Hyunjin gently rubs your cheek with his thumb, in slow, circular motions. Softly speaking, he asks, "Are we good?"

You let out a chuckle, "of course, we're good," you confidently answer.

That sounds convincing but has not quite put him at ease yet. He pulls you close and hugs you, he buries his nose in your hair, drinking in the scent that gives him a sense of comfort.

"Are you sad that the tour is ending soon?" He carefully asks, afraid that it's not something you wanted to talk about yet.

For a moment, he doesn't get an answer. Then, you nod.

He splayed his hand on the arch of your back and kisses the top of your head, "but we'll be still together, you hear me?"

You nod again as your hands wrapped tightly around his dainty waist as if he'd fly away. But that's just what you do, keep him grounded, make him better, happier.

Hyunjin is happy to know that you feel the same about it. The tour ending means that he'll no longer be able to be with you 24/7 but he also can't wait to disclose this relationship, he's tired of hiding it, hiding you.

"Look at me!"

You tilt your head to look at him and he can see the sadness in your eyes. He doesn't want to see that, he wants to see those eyes shine like they always do.

"I love you," he lowly mutters.

For the first time, it feels so right to say it, maybe because you're the right person that he doesn't feel any pressure after saying it. If anything, he feels more confident with his feelings. He loves you.

You're not saying anything but standing on your tiptoe to kiss him, responding to his words with action. You're replying to his words with your warm lips and your sweet breath, then a smile that lingers on your face as you pull away.

"Are you not going to say it back to me?" He jokingly asks.

You quickly bury your face in his neck, shyly smiling in the crook of his shoulder.

In the front pocket of his jeans, Hyunjin's phone is vibrating between your bodies and it startles both of you.

"I swear it's my phone," he says with a sly grin.

He fishes it out and hit accept without looking, "I'll be there in a minute," he says, then hang up.

You take a step backward, know that he has to go and it's less than an hour left before showtime.

"I'll go first," he says.

"Okay."

He puts his hand on your neck and brings you close so he can kiss you, slow yet deep, you almost choke on air when he sucks on your tongue.

Teasing you more, he gently bites on your lower lip to finally let go. He's triumphantly smirking, knowing that he got you completely breathless from it.

The closer he gets to the end of the concert, the more he's enjoying himself. Hyunjin believes it's coming from the pressures slowly getting off his shoulders.

Truthfully, it's been hard for him to keep it a secret, to keep you for himself, to be alone with you and he's getting closer to being free.

For his solo performance, Hyunjin plays his rendition of Jimi Hendrix's Little Wing. It's not something that he usually plays because this particular track is slower in tempo, rhythm, and blues-inspired ballad. It's one of Jimi Hendrix's most concise and melodically focused pieces.

"Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales..."

That's what you are to him: pretty, dreamy things that fascinated him.

"When I'm sad, she comes to me with a thousand smiles she gives to me free..."

And that's what you do to him, you brighten his days and light up his nights, fill the hours with your laughs and smiles.

Hyunjin just can't wait for you to take him flying on your little wings, riding in the wind.

Once the concert ends, Hyunjin doesn't want to be the last to come to you. Other than that, he can't stop his feelings that are coming at you at full speed.

You should be warned that there's no stopping for him.

Hyunjin walks past Felix and comes to you, he doesn't want to give himself a second to think, he just wants to do it.

With his heart pounding inside his chest, his blood rushing, and adrenaline still overflowing out of him, Hyunjin comes at you and grabs you by the waist, then kisses you. It's not quite a turn-on with him drenched in sweat but fuck it, he's been waiting for weeks to do this, he gave up more than what he could give.

Hyunjin deserves this, he deserves...

Then you push him away, hard enough to send him staggering backward.

He looks at you and sees your eyes filled with something almost like repulsion. Your hand flies to cover your mouth and then, he sees it, your eyes shifting at Felix.

Felix stares back at you with his mouth slightly hang open, then he glances at Hyunjin.

What the fuck is happening? Why did he do wrong? What it has got to do with Felix? The two of you are just friends or...

Hyunjin turns to look at you but you're already running away from him. You run without turning your head back at him as if he's the past that you want to forget.

Instead of flying with your little wings, he watches you run and run and run.

-

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[thefreakandthehair]

(don't bother) calling me when you're sober | rating: m | wc: 1.5k

content warnings: future fic, parental alcoholism ("falling off the wagon"), past parental neglect, minor character death (i've committed wayne crimes i'm so sorry but it's not shown, just mentioned), emotional hurt/comfort, ends on a happy, hopeful note despite the tags

“My dad called.” 

Eddie walks into the room, pinched eyebrows and flared nostrils lit up by the multicolored Christmas lights they string on the tree every year, one hand balled into a fist. The reaction  wouldn’t surprise Steve so much if this happened years ago, when Al Munson was still living in the bottom of a bottle of Jack, but now? 

It’s been eighteen years since he’d gotten sober, nineteen years since his last stint at Hawkins County, and fifteen years since making a genuine attempt to right the wrongs of Eddie’s childhood and build a relationship with his son. 

Fifteen years after Eddie let him in, let him try, let him earn Eddie’s trust. 

Fifteen years is a long time and to see Eddie so vitriolic in the doorway of their apartment’s living room— hands shaking, body shaking— Steve knows something must’ve gone wrong. 

“What happened?” Steve asks, standing from the couch and meeting Eddie where he stands, holding the hand not curled tightly around itself. 

“He’s drunk. He called, and he was drunk.” 

Steve’s chest pulls tight, his heart racing. What does someone say to that? What can someone say to assuage that kind of deep anger, pain, and betrayal? His thoughts are scattered as they try to make sense of what Eddie just said, and he’s even more grateful now that Ronnie wanted a sleepover with Aunt Robin tonight. 

“Eddie, fuck. I’m so— ” Before he can finish his thought, Eddie leans back against the doorframe, ripping his hand out of Steve’s and tangling his fingers in his hair, tugging. 

“How could he? How fucking could he?!” Eddie bellows, eyes squeezed shut. “He knew! He knew that if he ever did this again, I’d be done. For good. For forever. And he did it anyways! After eighteen fucking years!” 

His eyes fly open and Steve stands still and nods him on. There are just no words to fix this, and trying for the sake of filling the silence has never served him well.

“He did it anyway! Two days before fucking Christmas, a week before the anniversary of—” He chokes and cuts himself off. 

He knows what Eddie was going to say. A week before the anniversary of Wayne’s death. It’s been on his mind, too, of course. On his mind and in their conversations over breakfast with eccentric mugs of coffee, over the tangled lights that Wayne could always figure out. The year hasn’t been the kindest to them, particularly Eddie, and Steve wants to protect Eddie as much as he can from whatever he can. 

But he can’t shield him from this. Al Munson skips to the top of his shitlist.

“That son of a bitch!” Eddie rams his fist sideways against the door jam, leaving a sharp, red mark along his pinky. “He promised, and I believed him. Why the fuck did I believe him, Steve?”

Steve takes a step closer and grabs both of Eddie’s hands, carefully soothing the angry mark. “It’s been almost twenty years, babe. Trusting him with so much time invested makes sense. Hell, I did, too.” 

“I’m— I’m in my 30s, hurt and angry about the same shit I was hurt and angry about as a fucking kid. All the nights I slept in the backseat of the car because he blew his money at the bar, all the car accidents and court appearances and jail time, all the mornings I missed school because he didn’t know what fucking day it was,” Eddie rants, stopping to take a breath before picking back up, Steve’s own heart cracking and raging the more he speaks. 

“And every time he’d get sober, he’d always promise. He’d promise it would be the last time, and it never was. Not once could he choose his fucking son and I didn’t understand it then, but now that we have Ronnie, I understand it even less. If I was sick enough to walk away from her, I’d walk my happy ass to the nearest fucking rehab. I get that it’s a disease, I get it, I get it, I get it. But I can’t— I can’t do it again. Not this time. Eighteen years just down the fucking drain because of his company’s holiday party? How can I ever believe him again? Or trust him again?” 

Eddie’s voice grows raspier, breath shallow and quick, eyes watery. “Every time this happened when I was a kid, I always had Wayne. He’s the only person who really got it, y’know? The only one who lived it with me and now, I don’t even have him. My dad’s drunk, slurring his way through who fucking knows what on the phone, and no one else can fully understand the magnitude of what that feels like for me.” 

He squeezes his eyes shut again and drops forward toward Steve, forehead on his shoulder and arms loosely hung around Steve’s waist. Steve still doesn’t have words that bandage this up, but he knows how to show his husband love in other ways. Ways that, over the years, have become a language all their own. Steve pulls him in tight, one hand near his waist, the other cradling the back of his head. Fingers slide carefully beneath the hem of Eddie’s tee-shirt and rub little, repetitive circles into the small of Eddie’s back while he cards his other hand through Eddie’s hair, scratching his scalp and holding him to his chest to feel the rhythm of Steve’s own heartbeat until his breath returns to a steady pace. 

It’s only then that Steve speaks. 

“I don’t know what to say, Ed. It’s fucked up, and if you want to me like, hit him with my car, you know I’m game.” Steve feels Eddie laugh— just a few puffs of air through his nose but it’s a laugh all the same. “But I’m here, and we’re gonna figure it out, okay? Whatever you decide to do, we’ll do it together.”

Eddie nods and lets himself be led to the couch, Steve tucking Eddie into his side and pulling the afghan up over them. 

“I never want to be what Al was to me to our daughter,” Eddie whispers, not looking away from the tree. 

“Well, you’re ahead of the game, because she’s already older than you were when he started hitting the bottle hard. And I know there’s the genetic piece to it that everyone talks about, but nurture counts for a lot of who we become, too. Shit, I owe Joyce Byers a huge thank you for being more of a parent to me than my own were because she’s probably the reason I didn’t turn out like Dick Harrington. Ronnie’s never going to have an Al Munson in her life, because you weren’t raised by Al Munson. That’s not whose legacy you’re passing down. You’re passing down love, not pain.” Steve presses a soft kiss to Eddie’s temple and feels his whole body sag into him. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Eddie’s voice is quiet now, a far cry from his earlier venomous edge. 

Silence nestles onto the couch with them, a comfortable addition, as they watch the basketball game Steve had on before Eddie told him about the phone call. Watch is a loose description, actually. They're more just looking at a moving, flashing screen. 

“My hand really hurts, by the way,” Eddie announces, holding up the hand he’d used to punch the doorjam. “That was fucking dumb.”

“Maybe a little bit, but I get it,” Steve untucks a hand from beneath the blanket and outstretches his palm. “Lemme see?”

Eddie plops his hand into Steve’s and Steve takes a look, mentally working down the check list he’s memorized from his decade plus of EMT work. No obvious breaks, nothing looks crooked, Eddie’s able to move each finger and flex his hand without severe pain. 

“If anything, it’s just gonna be bruised tomorrow. But I’ll fix it,” Steve grins and lifts Eddie’s fist to his lips, carefully kissing each knuckle and paying a little extra attention to the pinky that delivered most of the blow. 

“I’m so in love with you, Steve.” Eddie rests his temple on Steve’s shoulder. “You know that, right?” 

“I know,” Steve agrees, chest fluttering despite the circumstances. “And I’m in love with you, too. You know that, right?”

Eddie snuggles in and wraps Steve up, full koala, as though he’s trying to get as close as possible without actually cracking Steve open and climbing inside of him. 

“Definitely.”

The next morning, Aunt Robin brings Ronnie home and together, they decorate the gingerbread cookies that only vaguely look like people but are good enough to pass for a seven year old. Halfway through, Eddie’s cell phone rings and the caller I.D. reads Al. Steve watches, worried that Eddie’s going to answer in the middle of their decorating. That he’ll forget Ronnie’s having the time of her life, and that in his righteous indignation, Eddie will leave the table to go fight and argue.

There’s so much to be said, and Steve wouldn’t blame him, but he breathes a sigh of relief when Eddie simply declines the call and sets about pouring more edible glitter onto his design with a smile down at their daughter. 

[sitp-recs]

top 10 drarry fics by the sheer force of the feels they gave you? not necessarily good feels! things you remember primarily because they hit hard in some way.

obviously, i'd also love to hear exactly how/why they hit hard if you're up for sharing that!

Oh that’s such a wonderful ask, thank you! I’m sorry for the late reply, the 10 fics came easily bc whenever I see those titles I get immediately transported back to where I was and what I felt reading them for the first time. But putting into words what exactly makes them heartkick-y for me was a bit more challengeging. It’s usually a “when you feel it you know it” kind of thing (and quite literally too, as sometimes it manifests as an actual physical reaction!) but more often than not the fic just clicks for me and there’s no rationale behind it. As Clarice Lispector said: “I suppose that understanding myself is not a question of intelligence but of feeling. It either touches you, or it doesn't."

Anyhoo, I tried my best to keep this short and sweet but since I’ve written individual recs for almost all these fics, I thought I’d include them too :) thanks again, this was super fun! And I’d love to read about your picks as well 👀

An Emerald In The Sky by corvuscrowned | my rec

it doesn’t get more romantic than star-crossed lovers doomed by time travel!!!! (see also: my thoughts on The Eighth Tale by lettered). this is my brand of melancholy, something about the constant yearning, the beauty of stolen moments in liminal space, the unfairness of it all… ugh

Far From the Tree by aideomai | my rec

fft has altered my brain chemistry and ruined me forever with its tender devastation, I had such a visceral reaction to it - to the point of feeling dizzy and feverish. a simple time travel concept (this is my kryptonite istg) but the epic storytelling! the gratification! the bittersweet ending! rereading it would kill me but what a way to go

Forgive Those Who Trespass by Lomonaaeren

easily one of the most haunting and terrifying fics I’ve ever read, one jumpscare after the other but so creative and well-written I was too busy collecting my jaw from the floor to talk myself out of it lol

Little Compton Street by writcraft | my rec

as a queer woman, this one feels extremely personal and is very dear to my heart. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt learning about queer history and finding a sense of peace and belonging. lcs feels like coming home 🏳️‍🌈

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton

this was my first bb fic and their sense of humor just blew my mind. I was so impressed by the smooth world building, by their wit and clever political commentary. I just couldn’t stop laughing. the dialogue is so good it makes me wanna weep, I can’t explain how much joy and comfort this fic gave me

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore

full disclosure: my reading experience was shaped by the fact that I didn’t realize the tagged disability would be major and permanent 🤡 by the time I noticed I was so emotionally invested I couldn’t stop. one of the most painful reads I’ve ever endured, worth it tho

Running on Air by eleventy7 | my rec

introspective fics are my jam and this one was just what I needed while working through some shit at a turning point in my life. so I guess it was more about finding the right fic at the right time, and I’m hit by mixed feelings of catharsis and nostalgia every time I revisit roa.

Still Life (orphaned) | my rec

my definition of a perfect shortfic. gorgeous prose, flawless execution, the “nothing is happening but everything is changing” vibes I live for, one of the best Harry pov I’ve ever read and an ending that always makes me gasp in awe. few authors can write complex emotions so effortlessly as seefin, absolute masterclass

Super Rich Kids by trishjames | my rec

criminally underrated, this story broke my heart but also gave me such a THRILL. I usually avoid substance abuse in fic but something about Draco’s spiral journey felt so raw it kept me at the edge of my seat. devastating but also a surprisingly funny and exciting thriller. the range!!!

The Long Fall by tackytiger | my rec

as someone who’s never been into kid fic and family dynamics, this was a punch on the solar plexus and rearranged my whole view about this trope. I was deeply moved by Harry’s longing for a family of his own and despite not having or wanting kids, this still felt really cathartic and changed me in a way I can’t quite explain.

[somanystars]

in the secret good s16 of supernatural tfw 2.0 would go to a grocery store

NOT a conveniance store

a grocery store

-sam would get jack into the cart (jack just teleports in) and then pushes him down the aisles super fast. he loved doing it with dean as a kid and now he gets to do it with jack. they nearly run over dean at one point and dean tells them off for it, calling them a public nuisance ("like you're one to talk" "shut UP sam") and as revenge they wait until dean and cas are standing right next to each other and run at dean like they're jousting. dean falls trying not to get run over, into cas who is ofc an Angelic Tank and doesn't even flinch when he catches dean. cue the most flustered man in existence in front of the knock-off cereal brands bc my god he never learned to emotionally regulate.

-you would think sam and dean would be the ones arguing about healthy vs tasty food. wrong. sam knows his brother is a stubborn ass and just sneaks healthy food into the cart. (he has a system. he also has a farmer's market he runs off to once in a while.) dean and CAS on the other hand are bickering in every. single. aisle about every. single. item. cas is trying to make sure heart disease doesn't kill the man who refused to kill God. dean is trying to exercise his new found free will. this is flirting for them.

-jack finds an employee restocking an aisle and strikes up a conversation with them. this of course leads to him helping restock a whole section of the aisle because "of course i helped them! i wasn't doing anything else!" eventually they end up seated on the floor criss cross applesauce talking about the DEEPEST MOST RANDOM SHIT. anyways jack likes them so much they win the lottery the next day.

-cas wanders into the freezers because it's "refreshing." dean only realizes this when he pulls a a carton of milk out of the fridge and sees cas staring back at him. he ALMOST pulls out his gun.

-obligatory "sam gets hit on by an older woman" thing but he is ENGAGED and flashes his engagement ring (eileen proposed to him because fuck gender roles because i said so. he cried. dean will deny it but he cried when eileen asked him for sam's hand. gd now i wanna write that. fuck.) anyways this does not stop the older woman and sam sighs. cas rescues him.

-cas accidentally leaves the store with his coat loaded with random stuff. dean sighs and concludes that stealing from a chain grocery store is not the worst thing they've ever done.

-cas sees that the last thing of an item dean wanted sitting in an unattended cart and...takes it out. and gets accosted by a person because yeah that's their cart but cas sacrificed heaven and his life and his wings for humanity (read: singular human but still) and thinks he can have the last jar of strawberry jam. dean hears them from 2 aisles over and sighs.

okay now. if this gets to 100 notes ill write+post a full fic to ao3

[freshxsturniolo]

GILMORE GIRLS, MARY-LOU & COOKIES - matt sturniolo x fem!reader

hi babies, i just know matt and his little fall heart would love a chilled cosy evening with his gf watching their favourite shows and you all loved my chris fic with jimmy and mary lou so i hope you all enjoy this xxx

you let out a sigh as you lay your head against the back of the couch, a sense of relief finally washing over you.

it had been an awful day of travelling, the airport so jam packed at LAX with people heading out of the state, delays on almost every flight but yours, however it only caused a knock on effect of bad moods across the airport. your uber had not arrived to take you and the triplets to their home in boston and jimmy had had no choice but to come and collect you all, which only added to the awful mood as the triplets had felt beyond guilty, knowing their dad was busy already that day.

so when you'd finally said hello to everyone, had a bowl of homemade shepards pie that mary-lou had had sat waiting for you all, showered and got into fresh clothes, you could finally relax.

"are you okay, babe?" matt, your ever loving boyfriend said as he appeared around the corner, watching you as you closed your eyes for just a moment.

"hmm" you mumbled, not having the energy to speak and look up at him. you heard him chuckle slightly, and you could feel yourself drifting off to sleep when his weight dropped down at the side of you.

"you can go to bed for a couple of hours if you need to" he said into your ear, before dropping a soft kiss to your cheek. you smiled, embracing his warm touch, finally opened your eyes and turning your head to the side to look at him. his eyes were dark rimmed and his hair was a mess, but he was still so beautiful. you were about to open your mouth when you see chris' figure in the doorway, diverting your eyes straight to him.

"we might head to nathans for a bit, are you two coming?" chris said, and you finally sat up as matt turned his position to face his brother.

"yeah, i'll come." and then he turned back to you. "babe?"

you smiled, reaching out to stroke his face. "i love nathan with my entire heart, but would you mind if i stayed here?"

you already felt guilty, but you'd been so overstimulated for the last 6 hours that the thought of sitting with 4 boys who were all going to be hyped from seeing each other felt too much. you wanted to chill, nap, potentially get some work done on your phone and call in an early night.

"i'll stay with you." matt said instantly, like you knew he would, but you shook your head.

"you've not seen your best friend in months, go." you almost demanded. matt cared for you so much, you could see him already fighting with his eyes, but you smiled softly.

"are you sure?" he said, at the same time you saw mary-lou appear in the doorway too, shuffling past chris.

"are you okay, kids?" she said, and you dropped your hand from matts face to look at her.

"do you mind if i stay here, mary-lou? whilst the boys go to nates"

she beamed at you. "of course i dont mind, my love. this is your home now too."

you smiled at her warmingly before turning back to matt, a smile on his face at his moms words.

"im so tired, matt." you said, and he nodded, dipping forward and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "tell nate im sorry.

"you'll see him tomorrow, im sure." he smiled.

"i dont doubt it." you chuckle, knowing full well nate was joined at the hip with the triplets whenever they were home. matt stands up, going over to give his mom a hug goodbye, closely followed by chris who then comes over to you, kicking your feet playfully. you'd always had a playful relationship with chris, and you go to kick him back but he runs off into the doorway, slapping matt on the shoulders as he reaches him.

"those boys" mary-lou chuckles at the side of you, and you turn around in time to see her sit at the side of you. "are you okay, my love?" she asks now, and you nod.

"im just tired, and the thought of them all yapping is sending me into another dimension."

she laughs at your words, throwing her head back, and you can't help but laugh with her. once a soft silence falls between you both, you reaches over to the arm rest of the couch and picks up the remote.

"so, i've been watching that show you love" she says now, giving you a smile, and you can't help the excited squeal that overcomes you.

"gilmore girls?" you say.

it was your favourite show, especially when you were home in boston. it had a nostalgic feel that couldn't be replicated anywhere else.

"yes" she chuckles, before the familiar netflix sound fills the living area. "im just about to start season two."

you beam. "my favourite season."

and so the work you were going to do goes out the window, as mary-lou grabs you a blanket, throwing it across your legs as she presses play on the last episode she was on. a soft feeling washing over you as you snuggle down, watching your favourite show.

you were asleep before matt came back home. the evening drawing in, the soft glow of the tv and the candles around you, the warmth of the triplets childhood home. the adrenaline from the day had had you tired beyond belief. but mary-lou let you sleep as she sat at the side of you, your head lulled on the back of the couch and the blanket spread across you.

you didn’t stir when the triplets came back home, and mary-lou hushed them as they came bounding into the living area where you both sat. the minute matt saw you, his face turned into a smile.

“how long as she been asleep?” he whispered, taking in your peaceful face. nick bounded across and sat next to his mom, who engulfed him in a one arm hug, and chris took place on the floor, resting his back against the couch and pulling out his phone.

“why am i not shocked you’re both sat here watching this?” he says.

mary lou chuckles before looking back to matt. “for the past hour”

he smiled, before he slowly sat down beside you, accidentally brushing his knee against yours.

you woke with a startle, looking up at him, before looking around the room. all eyes were on you apart from chris, who was sat not far on his phone, and you let out a smile as you stretched out your neck.

lifting up your foot, you reach chris’ hands perfectly and gently knock them with your foot, startling him so his phone falls out his hands. everyone erupts into laughter as chris lets out a ‘fuck’ before he turns around and grabs your ankle, pulling you slightly so you shift down the couch.

mary-lou swats his hand away whilst matt yells his brothers name, and you can only laugh.

“your girlfriends annoying as shit, bro” chris says, a joking grin on his face.

you shift your position back to where you were just a second before, finally turning around to face your boyfriend.

“hey, tired girl” he says, and you can’t help but let out a yawn. he chuckles as he leans forward, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

nick and chris have started talking to their mom, and their voices fill the room as matt picks up the blanket, positioning himself right next to you before his arm comes around your shoulder, pulling you into his side before placing the blanket over the both of you.

“cookies are in the kitchen” he whispers, as you wrap your arm around his waist, leaning your head against his chest.

“thank you” you whisper, squeezing his side slightly before lifting your head again to look at him. “sorry i didn’t come.”

he smiles. “doesn’t matter. are you okay?”

“never better” you beam, before laying your head back down on his chest.

the rest of the evening is spent lazily watching your favourite show, jimmy coming to join you not long after. you’re too tired to engage in conversation, but you can’t help the laughs that escape as you listen to your favourite family chat amongst themselves, your boyfriends hands running strokes up and down your arm the entire time.

[kanagenwrites]

Hey folks. My name is Kanagen (It's pronounced Ka-na-ngen. Kana is fine.), and I'm a writer. I mostly write sci-fi with a more or less sapphic bent, and I'm not shy about putting lewd content in what I write because fuck petty moralism.

I'm active in the Human Domestication Guide writing community, where apart from being an author (see below), I'm also a Loret, which means I help maintain and update the lore of the setting, help new creators with questions about it or how to fit a story into it, and so on. All of my publicly available fiction at the moment is HDG content, but I plan on working more on my own original settings and concepts in the future.

I have a patreon, where I post my current long-form project's drafts chapter by chapter, once weekly. I also occasionally talk about my writing process. I'm hoping to expand content there in the future as well.

I don't use social media very much because I remember what the internet used to be like before walled gardens and techbros ruined it. (You kids really don't know what you're missing.) Nevertheless, the life of a freelance writer rather demands I put myself out there somehow, so here I am. Ask me questions, behold the weird stuff I reblog, and try not to get too parasocial with me. I'm just a weird lady who puts words in funny shapes.

Bibliography

Long-Form Fiction

No Gods, No Masters - A revolutionary leftist copes with the subtle differences between her own idea of the perfect world and the just-a-little-off version of it the Affini offer. First novel-length work in the Tillandsia Trilogy; highly suggested you read this before The Floret in the Mirror and especially Freedom's Ember.

The Floret in the Mirror - A mystery/thriller about identity, digitization, and impossible simulated lewdness. Content warning for amnesia resulting from traumatic brain injury as part of the setup. Sequel to No Gods, No Masters.

Freedom's Ember (ongoing) - Sixty years after the Affini conquered her world, a woman clings to her independence; sixty years after being frozen for cryogenic flight from the Affini, a woman struggles to discover who she really is when freed from her father's influence. What is freedom, and what does it mean in the context of the Compact? Sequel to No Gods, No Masters and The Floret in the Mirror, conclusion of the Tillandsia Trilogy.

Sui Generis - A martian attorney living on Earth finds adjusting to life with the Affini easier than most; she was already keeping her wife as a pet before they arrived. The real question is, where's that strange jealousy coming from?

Short Fiction

Mainspring - A Terran secret agent is captured by the Affini, trapped by artist for whom his body is a canvas, and she means to make of him her magnum opus. Wind-up doll content, and probably my most commonly cited story for "this rewired my brain"-style reactions.

Reading the Leaves - A tea-obsessed barista, an affini new to humanity, and a sweet (if awkward) romance culminating in a very raunchy ending. Entry for the HDG February Fluff Fic Jam 2024.

The Fifth Fundamental Force - This story is a silly joke. It should not be taken seriously, though many inevitably do.

Aftertaste (stalled) - A former quadrillionaire and epicure who just barely avoided domestication is tracked down by an affini culinary anthropologist who wants to use his brain to reconstruct a lost flavor using his long-buried memory - he was the last human to ever taste bluefin tuna. This fic is only sporadically updated because the stars must precisely align for my brain to be in a state to write boyliker fic. Sorry, I'm just really gay, y'all.