#kevin was appalled

[greeedsisland]

neil definitely did a daniel radcliffe and wore the same outfit for a month straight to piss off the news reporters

[sporco-filth]

Episode 1 - The Finale

This is the 'pilot' of that sitcom about slobs I described before.

Synopsis:

The finale of Tom’s favourite anime is airing, but a black out in the apartment complex risks ruining his plans. Kyle and Felix go to fix the problem but get locked in the basement. In order to watch his show (and save his friends) Tom must face his greatest nightmare: doing something.

[Kyle opens his door and sees Felix walking up the stairs, carrying a toolbox]

Kyle: Hey, Felix! Just the guy I wanted to see.

Felix: Yeah?

Kyle: You hungry? Fed and I are going out to grab a bite.

Felix: Sorry, Jess called. She has a leaky pipe that needs fixing.

Kyle: Boo. You’re no fun.

[He’s about to leave when an idea comes to mind]

Kyle: Actually… I have a bit of a plumbing job you could help with.

Felix: Really?

Kyle: Yeah. I need my pipes cleared. You think you can come round later tonight?

[Kyle gives a suggestive look. Felix scratches his chin]

Felix: I guess I could. What exactly is stuck in it?

Kyle: Cream.

Felix: OK? You can’t just flush it out yourself?

Kyle: I guess I could, but it’s really, really hard. And I don’t want to do it alone.

Felix: Can’t Fed help?

Kyle: I was thinking we could do it together.

Felix: Really? I’m sure it’d be an easy one man job.

[Kyle sighs]

Kyle: Boo. You’re no fun.

[He walks back inside and closes the door]

Felix: Huh? What do you mean?

[No response. Felix goes back to climbing the stairs.]

Felix (to himself): Clearing his pipes…? Oh…

[Realisation hits]

Felix: Heh that is kinda funny.

~Opening Credits~

[Kyle’s outside Tom’s door and knocks]

Kyle: Hey, Tommy! Open up!

Tom: It’s open.

[Kyle enters. We see Tom’s apartment. It’s dark, lit up only by the massive TV screen. Tom’s lying on the couch snacking on a bag of chips.]

Tom: [without looking up] What?

Kyle: Fed and I are going out for dinner. You wanna come?

Tom: Can’t. Got plans.

[He eats a chip and stares blankly at the TV.]

Kyle: What plans?

Tom: I’m watching Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu.

Kyle: Isn’t that that dumb anime about the mermaid guy who has like weird singing powers?

Tom: It’s not dumb! It’s a masterfully crafted show that explores themes of love and purpose while skillfully blending epic battle sequences with stunning musical numbers. The show’s been going on for 13 years, with 338 episodes, five feature-length films and a spin-off series. The final episode airs tonight at ten thirty and I refuse to miss a second.

Kyle: But it’s only seven. You can come to dinner and get back before it starts.

Tom: Yeah, but they’re also showing a marathon of all the fan-favourite episodes before it and I want to watch that too.

Kyle: Suit yourself.

[Kyle leaves and heads across the hall to his place. Fed’s in the kitchen snacking.]

Kyle: Tom’s not coming.

Fed: Why not?

Kyle: Some stupid anime thing.

Fed: Oh! I completely forgot! Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu has its finale tonight. It’s the end of an era…

[Kyle rolls his eyes, then notices Fed eating.]

Kyle: Aren’t you going to ruin your appetite?

[Kyle scratches his bum.]

Fed: No, I’m warming up. I need to get my stomach ready to eat by starting with something light before it can digest a full meal. [He eats another handful and talks with his mouth full.] Did you ask Felix?

Fed: Yeah, but he said he’s got some dumb plumbing thing to do. I guess it’s just us.

[We cut to Felix who does something, the building completely blacks out.]

Kyle: What was that?

Fed: It’s a blackout!

Tom: [from offstage] THE ELECTRICITY! WHO TURNED OFF THE POWER!? WHAT HAPPENED!?

[A loud fumbling is heard and a crash.]

Tom: Oww…

[Kyle and Fed open the door. They shine a torch from their phone and find Tom lying on the floor.]

Fed: You OK?

Tom: I’m fine. I tripped running out the door.

Kyle: You? Running? This is serious.

Tom: Of course it is! Life without electricity isn’t worth living! Everything I love needs electricity: internet, video games, microwaved food, TV. And I’ll miss Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu! Wait, maybe I can livestream it from my phone…

[He opens his phone.]

Tom: OK, the wifi’s out, but I’ve got data still…

[The light from his phone goes black.]

Kyle: What happened?

Tom: It ran out of power.

Fed: That quickly?

Tom: Well, I meant to charge it this morning… but I couldn’t be arsed...

Kyle: That sounds more like our Tommy.

[Felix comes down the stairs using his phone as a torch.]

Felix: Hey, sorry about that guys…

Kyle: What do you mean?

Felix: I think it might’ve been my fault: Jess asked me to fix a leaky pipe and uh… well some water got on her hairdryer and there was a lot of scary sparks and stuff then it all went black.

Tom: What?! So it’s your fault I’ll miss the last ep of MSBT?

Felix: MS-what?

Fed: Magical Siren Boy Tsugiharu.

Felix: That’s tonight? Wow, I thought that show would never end.

Kyle: Am I the only one who doesn’t watch anime here?

Tom: Yes. [He turns to Felix] You have to fix this now! I can’t miss the finale.

Felix: All right, all right. I said I was sorry and I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry. The lights’ll be back on in no time.

Kyle: We better go talk to Bob. He should know what to do. Hopefully we can get it done quickly; I’d hate to see what Fed’ll do if the food in the fridge goes off.

Fed: Wait… the fridge!

[Fed runs back inside.]

Kyle: Me and my big mouth… [He turns to Felix and Tom] Well, you guys coming?

Felix: It was my fault after all; the least I can do is help fix things.

Tom: I’m too tired from trying to run before, you two go on without me.

[Tom slumps onto the ground.]

Kyle: I guess it’s just us two then. Let’s go.

[The scene changes to outside Bob’s room. Kyle knocks on the door.]

Kyle: Hey! Bob! Open up!

[A lot of rumbling is heard. The door eventually opens to show Bob, looking grumpy.]

Bob: Don’t tell me: you two are responsible for the blackout.

Kyle: No… just Felix.

Bob: I’ve had it up to here with you guys running to me whenever something goes bust here. It’s your mess, you clean it up this time.

Kyle: Bob, you know as well as I do that Felix doesn’t clean up anything, let alone his own messes.

Felix: Hey! I… yeah, that’s actually not wrong…

Bob: Here [he pulls out a ring of keys]: go down to the basement and you can find the circuit breaker. It’s probably just a matter of flicking a switch or something.

Felix: Which switch?

[Bob slams the door.]

Kyle: (Sigh). Let’s get this over with. Tom’s probably having a fit by now.

[Scene shifts back to the hallway. Tom’s fallen asleep on the ground.]

[Back in Fed’s kitchen, Fed opens the fridge.]

Fed: All right. Operation Save Food From Spoiling is go. I guess we’ll start with the cold meats…

[He grabs a pack of prosciutto and dangles a slice down into his gullet.]

[Outside the basement door, Felix is trying out the keys. Finally he gets the one that works.]

Felix: Got it!

[He opens the door to reveal the basement, which is filled with broken appliances and old boxes.]

Felix: Now, where’s this circuit breaker…

[They shine their torches around… maybe some funny quips happen.]

Kyle: Found it!

[The guys go over to it.]

Felix: It’s locked. I bet the key’s with the others.

[The door slams shut.]

Felix: Ah, Kyle.

Kyle: Yeah?

Felix: Have you got the keyring?

Kyle: No, I thought you had it.

Felix: Well I don’t.

[Felix goes to open the door but it’s locked.]

Kyle: Ok… This isn’t good.

Felix: Don’t worry, we can call Fed.

[He pulls out his phone.]

Kyle: It’s not just the door. It’s not good because I can feel a fart coming.

[Felix’s face falls.]

Felix: Oh no… please Kyle I beg you, hold on!

Kyle: You’ve got like a minute.

[He rings Fed.]

[The scene returns to the kitchen, Fed is now eating the last slice of a cheesecake. His phone rings and he picks it up.]

Fed: Yeah?

Felix (through the phone): Fed! You’ve got to come downstairs to the basement. We got ourselves locked in.

Kyle (through the phone, yelling): YOU got us locked in!

Felix: Yeah, anyway. We need you to open the door; the keys are in the lock. Please hurry! Kyle’s holding back a lot of gas.

Fed: I’ll be right there!

[He hangs up and tries to stand, but clutches his belly, flopping back down.]

Fed: Ooh… I’m not feeling too good…

[His stomach gurgles loudly.]

Maybe I can get Tom to go…

[He drags himself to the door, which is still open, and yells out.]

Fed: Tom! Tom!

[Tom snores. Fed throws the slice of cheesecake at him that he was still holding. Tom wakes up with a start.]

Tom: Huh? What was that for?

Fed: Felix and Kyle got locked in the basement and I’m not in any state to be climbing stairs. I need you to go down and open the door for them.

Tom: I ain’t going down there. Not without the elevator. Do you know how many steps that is?

Fed: You have to! Kyle’s got a massive fart brewing. Felix hasn’t built up a tolerance to Kyle’s gas like I have; he’ll suffocate!

Tom: I don’t care. Let him suffocate. I’m not walking down those stairs. I already ran today.

Fed: You ran like ten steps.

Tom: That’s ten more than I’ve run in the past five years.

[Fed tries to move closer, but his stomach gurgles and he stops, clutching it in pain.]

Fed: Please… if you don’t go… then you won’t be able to watch MSBT.

[Tom sits up straight.]

Tom: Argh, you’re right… For Tsugihara, I shall do it.

[Felix hands him his phone.]

Fed: It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this.

[Tom stands up and wields the phone above his head, the torch light on.]

Tom: With the power of the Seven Seas flowing through me, I shall banish the darkness!

[Tom slowly walks down the stairs.]

Fed: You could go a little faster…

[Back in the basement. Kyle is straining.]

Felix: Please, hold it in!

Kyle: I don’t know if I can do it (grunt). This one feels pretty strong.

Felix: You must!

[Tom on the stairs, slowly going down. He pauses to catch his breath.]

Tom: Whew… I don’t know if I can do it… it’s so many steps.

Fed (from upstairs): You’ve only gone down half a floor.

Tom: I could do without the running commentary, thank you!

[In the basement. Kyle is sweating.]

Kyle: I’m sorry Felix… Ahhhhh…

[He relaxes and farts. It’s long and loud. Felix covers his mouth with his top.]

Felix: GAH! HELP! HELP!

[The door opens and Tom appears. He immediately covers his mouth.]

Tom: Ugh! I come all this way to save you and this is how you repay me?

Felix: Tom! My saviour!

[He grabs Tom into a hug. Tom pushes him off.]

Tom: OK, OK. That’s enough. I did this for Tsugihara, not you. Here: I believe you lost these?

[He hands out the keys. Kyle takes them.]

Kyle: I’ll take it from here. You guys should head up to get some fresh air.

Felix: I’m not sure my nose will recover from this…

[Tom and Felix leave the room. Kyle goes to the circuit breaker and opens it.]

Kyle: Let’s see…

[He flicks a switch and, after a bit of a sluggish start, the lights flicker back on.]

[Back upstairs, Fed, still eating, sees the lights turn on.]

Fed: They did it! Yes!

[He jumps up but immediately regrets it and clutches his stomach.]

Fed: Oooh…

[Soon after, the guys enter the room.]

Felix: I’m sorry again for all the trouble I caused, but I guess it’s all fixed now.

Tom: And not a moment too soon. I’ve got a finale to watch, see ya.

[Tom leaves. Kyle notices Fed’s discomfort.]

Kyle: You alright there?

Fed (not alright): Yep. Just a bit of a stomach ache… I ate too much too fast… And it’s like the UN down there: I don’t think that leftover Chinese is getting along with the Indian curry.

[His stomach gurgles ominously.]

Fed: Uh oh…

[All of a sudden, Fed releases a loud fart.]

Felix: No! Not again! Ack-urgh!

[He runs out of the room.]

Fed: Sorry Kyle…

Kyle: Heh, no stress. I’ll love you no matter how bad you stink. After all, you have to put up with my stenches, now it’s my turn to deal with the smell.

Fed: Aww, you’re so sweet.

Kyle: And anyway, [he gently rubs Fed’s gut while savouring the smell]  you know that it kinda turns me on. How about we cancel dinner and have some fun at home?

Fed: I think that sounds wonderful. Also, I may have just eaten everything in the fridge…

[In Tom’s room, he’s now settled back on the couch and ready to watch TV.]

Tom: Ah, at long last…

[The MSBT theme music plays. Suddenly it stops.]

News host: We interrupt this broadcast for a breaking news bulletin.

Tom: No! Don’t interrupt!

News host: His Excellency the Honourable Sir Arthur Vandeleigh, former Governor-General of Australia, has died peacefully in his sleep.

Tom: Come on, come on…

TV host: We have a three-hour obituary scheduled in honour of this great man who valiantly served his country.

Narrator: Though he may have inhabited the role for only three months, Arthur Vandeleigh’s tenure as Governor-General was…

Tom: NOOOOOO!

~End Credits~

[frostfloweragainlol-alias-juno]

Some more Rory doodles!

(Tw in one below where there is blood/injury. Possibly very slight gore)

And some lil heacanons

• Since there are cameras in some places ( i assume the doctor watches everything through them) Rory took the habit of smashing them with a broken pipe they found. And they always say some type of joke while they do it

It pisses off Sawyer and he cant see through that camera anymore

For Rory its a double win

• Rory remembers a bit more bits and pieces of the orphanage than they do of their life before their family died (their parents were theater performers and involved them and their sister into it. They all 3 died when their house burned down and Rory was the only survivor)

They took a lot remembering their birth name too (Wren) , thats why initially they went with their experiment number instead of their name

They didn’t use the toy’s name because the toy they were made into was supposed to be a still unreleased one and didn’t yet have a name

The name ‘Rory’ was given to them at the safe heaven

• Rory has a scent like all the smiling critters, and their scent is chocolate and strawberry

• They say how things are, full stop. They’re not rude about it but unless there is really the need to (for example with the younger toys or in situations where a bit of tact is needed) they do not sugarcoat it and they’re very blunt

• They prefer not getting outworldly mad, expecially when the younger toys are around, so instead they substitute it with a few sarcastic jokes and being petty in general

But outside of these situations, in general they can be really sweet, expecially to who they care about, and they are very friendly

• Rory reeeally doesn’t like nor trust Poppy. They arrived at the safe heaven when Doey was already running it and, after they recognized each other and Doey caught them up on everything that happened, they were appalled. From how they saw it, Poppy just left without even a single word or not as much as a heads up and had put Doey in position in which he had to take charge (and heck taking care of everybody and everything) not to mention probably setting panic among the others in safe heaven that had now have no idea why the one who had led them and they trusted for so long just disappeared.

They were aware they might not know the entire story but they couldn’t help but be furious

And the moment she came back, after years of them and Doey doing all by themselves, not only the prototype is now dangerously close to the safe heaven but she also starts explain how blow everything up is the only way? Which could possibly harm the others at the safe heaven whom they consider family as much as they consider Doey a brother?

Well that just made them even angrier

• Sometimes they wish they could do more when it comes to help at the safe heaven and Doey

They feel even worse that they aren’t as strong physically, they can’t really protect in that way as well as they would like

They are vey agile however

• They lost their eye when they got attacked while scavenging for supplies

Needless to say, they scared the crap out of Doey when they came back from scavenging missing an eye, completely soaked in blood, with a broken pipe they used as a weapon and a box supplies they managed to find

Doesnt help they have a habit of downplaying stuff and joke about it in the worst way possible

(This one is a lil reference of Wren before the experiments and how i think Mattew, Jack and Kevin looked as well)

[reidsdimples]

Strictly Professional | Part 4

Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

18+❤️‍🔥 MDNI ‼️

You go see Spencer in his hotel room after a case is wrapped up.

Part 1, 2, 3

“You’re staring,” JJ says, startling you.

“Wha-“ you say absentmindedly.

She nods towards Spence who is leaning against one of the black SUV’s talking to Rossi.

His legs are crossed at the ankles, his sleeves rolled up, and his hands are shoved into his pockets. The streetlights above his cast his features in stark shadows. It was… distracting to say the least.

“It’s the pants right? They’re more form fitting,” JJ laughs. You turn to her with your mouth agape.

“I wasn’t…”

“Come on, you’d have to be blind not to see how good he looks,” she nudges you.

“Aren’t you married?” You ask playfully,

“Married, not blind,” she winks.

You smile and roll your eyes.

“Yeah it’s definitely the pants,” you surrender.

“So make a move,” she says and hands you a piece of gum.

You’re all waiting around for Hotch and Prentiss to call you into the house a block down which they are staking out.

“No way, we’re coworkers,” you make an effort to sound appalled and hope she doesn’t pick up on the insincerity.

“Oh please, it wouldn’t be the first time romance struck the BAU,” she says. You give her a blank and confused stare. “Kevin and Penelope?”

“Oh right, but they work in different units,” you point out. “It doesn’t matter, I’m not interested in him like that,” you decide to shut the conversation down.

“What are we talking about?” Morgan hops in.

“Nothing,” you and JJ say in unison.

“Damn, okay,” he laughs and holds up his hands feigning innocence.

“He’s got the girl, we’re going in,” Hotch comes over the ear pieces. You all jump into one of the SUVs.

Morgan drives and Rossi takes the front seat.

You, JJ, and Spencer cram into the back in a hurry. You slam into Spence when you stumble over the middle console, your face colliding with his chest. JJ is shoving herself into the space next to you.

“Sorry,” you push yourself off of him and sit up. He lets out a soft laugh.

Your bulky vests make the whole thing awkward as the car speeds towards the unsubs house.

You’re in the middle, pressed into Spence who is looking everywhere but towards you. You inhale his familiar scent and your body comes to attention. It recognizes him, craves him. You adjust to pull your arm out from between the two of you and he lifts his arm to help. He props it on the head rest behind you but doesn’t touch you. He’s close enough that the heat and electricity starts buzzing between you. He clears his throat and you swear he’s adjusting himself by shifting his legs. You nearly smirk because you have the same effect on him.

The car stops abruptly and you’re all piling out of it. You get back on your A-game and pull your gun from the holster.

Somewhere in the house you hear Rossi reasoning with the man who comes into view.

The 10 year old little girl is trembling under his knife, her face streaked with tears.

“Hey Kelly,” Spencer begins quietly. You glance it him, unsure what he’s doing. The unsub seems put off too.

“Can you tell me how you feel, tell him how what he’s doing is hurting you,” he says gently. His gun is holstered.

The unsub had taken the little girl after his own daughter was murdered. He was trying to create a new life with a new child to fill a void. He didn’t profile as someone who would hurt the child.

“I don’t like it, it’s scary,” the girl cries.

“It’s going to be okay Kelly, we’re going to get you out of here,” Spencer says softly. She nods and sniffles.

“Lionel you hear that? You don’t want to hurt her the way they hurt Maya do you?” Rossi reasons.

“I want my daddy,” she cries again. Her small frame rattling with fear.

Lionel is looking frantically around the room, trying to find a way out.

“There’s no way out, you need to let her go. We can help you,” you say, keeping your gun centered on him.

“No one can help me!” He bellows angrily, causing Kelly to whine.

“Maya wouldn’t want this. You know you can’t replace her,” Spencer says.

That seems to break something in the man who drops his arm in defeat.

The girl sprints towards your team, immediately latching onto Spencer who allows her to grab his arm. She looks back at you with big teary eyes.

“You’re safe now,” you whisper to her.

The man is on his knees and the gun is kicked aside while Prentiss makes the arrest.

You and JJ walk with Spencer and the little girl outside where CPS will work out getting her home.

Cases didn’t always have happy endings but this was as close as it got. The mad had killed two other girls who didn’t fit his delusion but your team was able to save Kelly and stop him. It felt good.

“Good job in there,” you tell Spencer and offer him a fist bump.

“Thanks,” he reluctantly returns the odd gesture with a shy grin.

-

The team returns to the hotel and you’re so tired you can hardly think straight. The weight of the last week and a half finally starting to dissolve with the cases conclusion.

Once again you’ve had radio silence from Spence outside of professional interaction. Two weeks had passed since Penelope caught you red handed and you expected never to hear from him again.

You sigh and pour yourself a glass of red wine as you sink into the bathtub. You convince yourself it’s fine that he hadn’t made a move, you were fine with not having him. It’s fine.

But then time passes and you’re half a bottle of wine in, your mind wondering to the way those damn pants hugged his hips. The way it accentuated his ass and his long legs. You’re biting your lip when your hand drifts down into the water and over your clit.

Images of him with his vest on, his gun raised, his mouth moving as he talked had you squirming.

Then you remembered how good he always felt inside of you. How you’ve never cum so hard as when he fucked you. Ugh.

You become frustrated and stop rubbing yourself.

Fuck it.

You throw back another half glass of wine and pull on your pajamas. His room was three doors away. You would just march over there and antagonize him. Screw waiting for him to make a move. You were sick and tired of waiting for him to need you. It was your turn.

You knock lightly on his door so as not to alert the rest of the team in the other rooms. It takes a moment but he opens it after looking through the peephole.

“Hey,” he rubs his eyes.

He had been asleep, his hair tousled. He was wearing nothing but pajama pants and your eyes couldn’t help but trail to his stomach.

You place your hand on his chest and push him backwards as you step inside. Your eyes pinned on his. He immediately acquiesces to your command, especially when you push him against the wall and kiss him hard.

It’s clumsy, unpracticed. But you don’t care, you need him. His soft mouth melts and moves against yours until his hands trail up the small of your back.

“We really shouldn’t keep doing this,” he whispers but kisses you again.

“It’s so bad,” you agree.

It was bad, your addiction to one another.

“Mhmm,” he moans drunkenly as though intoxicated by you.

He lifts you up so your legs wrap around his waist, you slam your hand against the wall as you kiss him harder. Your tongues sliding together in teasingly slow motions. God he tasted so fucking good, you could devour him for an eternity.

You roll your hips against him where his erection is pressing into you and a sinful groan escapes him.

“You looked so fucking good today,” he praises as he carries you towards the bed. You’re licking and sucking at his neck, needing to taste him.

“You did too” you purr when he lays you flat on your back.

“How much did you drink?” He asks thoughtfully as he stands above you, taking you in.

“Just a couple of glasses of wine,” you wave your hand dismissively. You move your feet up his chest until they’re resting on his shoulders.

He abruptly grabs your ankles and drops your legs from him before walking out of view. You sit up, confused.

The he takes a seat in the chair behind the desk on the other side of the room. The desk has been covered in books and paperwork in the 10 days he’s occupied the room. It was so him that you grin.

“You came here because you wanted me,” he muses as he lifts his hips to pull down his pants. “Show me how bad you want me, pretty girl.”

He lounges back in the chair, his cock just out and ready for you. You bite your lip nervously but move over to him. He rolls the chair backward from the desk to ensure there’s plenty of room. He looks glorious bathed in the moonlight from the window.

You step out of your pajama shorts in straddle him, taking his face in your hands.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he pushes.

“I think I want you like this all of the time,” you whisper as you grind your wetness against his length.

He grips your hips as you begin to align yourself with the tip of his cock. You lower yourself down and he tries to slow you by digging his nails into your skin. He sucks air through his teeth and throws his head back as you take him completely.

“So tight,” he shudders. Then you rock your hips forward, your clit against him as his cock throbs inside of you.

You continue to roll your hips, keeping him as deep as possible as you find the exact rhythm you need.

You begin to move up and down his length and he groans when your grip his hair.

“Use me, make yourself cum,” he whimpers.

It’s a softer, needier side of him that you hadn’t seen before but you love it. So you do just that. You begin riding him and grinding down on him. Not caring necessarily about what feels good to him but about what feels good to you.

One of your hands trails down the column of his neck and you gently squeeze. His hands find your nipples and he squeezes them hard as he fights to keep quiet.

He’s a mess of groans and whimpers. You throw yourself forward and bite down on his shoulder as you fall into a desperate grind against him as you chase your orgasm.

You moan against his skin as you climax, your walls tightening around his cock in a way that has him squirming beneath you, one hand pulling at your hair while the other digs into your thigh.

“Fuck Spence,” you whisper and roll your head back.

You can feel your cum all over him and it feels so good as you continue to rock your hips back and forth.

“Hold on,” he says, his voice husky.

You do, you prop your hands on the chair behind him as he lifts your hips so you’re halfway up his length.

Then he starts thrusting up into you fast and hard until you’re biting your tongue to stifle your moans.

You have a hard time holding yourself up as he thrusts mercilessly into you, the sound of wet flesh slapping together filling the room. You wrap your arms around his neck and hold on as he pulls you closer. He doesn’t let up, his stamina unmatched as he pounds into you harder.

Your eyes roll back as you attempt to absorb the pleasure beating through you. He buries his head between your tits, his jagged breathing fanning against your skin. The two of you are absolutely lost in each other, unable to get enough. You’re moaning softly, trying to stay quiet when his nails dig into your back.

The sensation is enough to send you over the edge again.

“Baby, fuck baby,” he bites out as you orgasm over him again. He’d never called you that, it’s heady, it makes you smile.

His rhythm slows as you pull him to his climax until he’s cumming inside of you. You roll your hips down on him as he pumps his cum into you, knowing how good it must feel to be as deep as possible while he finished.

“Fuuuck,” he shudders.

His eyes are wide and his mouth is open as he watches you roll your hips the last few times, greedily taking all his cum.

Your eyes linger on each other as the moment softens. You lean in and kiss him, delighted when he kisses you back. It’s more passionate, less needy.

You pull away, not wanting to get lost in the labeling or feeling behind anything. You get off of him and hurry to the restroom where you start the shower. The mixture of both of your releases is running down your thighs and you need to focus on cleaning up rather than whatever you’re feeling.

Something like sadness washes over you, sadness that this can’t be more, that it isn’t more because he doesn’t want it to be.

You’re washing your hair when Spencer steps into the shower.

“Oh,” you startle.

“Is this okay?” He asks.

You nod, taking in his beautiful body as you pull him under the water.

You turn away from him and wash your face. That’s when he wraps his strong arms around you and pulls you flush against him. You stare down at his forearms overlapping across your stomach. He fits against you so perfectly as you lean back into him. He sways gently but doesn’t speak. The intimacy of just holding you seems to be what he needs, it’s not a side of him you’ve seen very much.

“You want me like this always too?” He whispers.

It takes you off guard, the vulnerability in his voice. It’s as though he’s searching for some clue that he means more to you than you let on.

You turn in his arms and reach up to smooth back his wet curls.

“What if I do?” Your voice is hoarse.

“I don’t know how this can be more,” he shakes his head.

You got it, you understood how much it would complicate things. When emotions and favoritism came into play amongst coworkers it could be distracting.

“What do you want Spence?” You decide to be brave and ask him.

Your bodies are pressed together, the warm water trailing between you.

“I want…” he looks at you with what can only be described as puppy dog eyes. Some mixture of fear and sadness painting his beautiful features.

“Reid,” comes Hotch’s voice with a swift knock on the door.

He jumps back, his eyes wide.

“Shit,” you whisper.

Spencer rushes out of the shower as panic consumes you. Why would Hotch need to talk to Spencer at one in the morning!?

[attractthecrows]

Nazis of the lamest degree are forcibly taking over our government and I'm planning a wake! Because life and death march on regardless! Our country is descending into the Worst Reich and I'm making a fucking grocery list, because we've still got to eat!! This sucks!!! This sucks!!! This fucking sucks!!!!

Quietly losing my mind over the fact that Elon Musk has straight up orchestrated a coup of our executive branch and like....I don't even know what, if any, system we have in place to fix this. Like... He's just taken control of the money and locked out the actual appointed officials. What the fuck.

[little2nerdy]

we know abby has seen some really terrible injuries during her time with the foxes/aftermath of spending time with the ravens so she saw jean and was somewhat prepared, but i can imagine the nurses/doctors/trainers for the trojans being absolutely appalled, driven to drink levels of disturbed by seeing jean’s medical records/x-rays/scars. like i can just imagine the coaches and team staff getting together to compare notes on jean and realizing how far into the deep end they were thrown (they’re all cursing kevin day and wymack, and jeremy a little)

[lmaowhatt]

it takes time - five

summary: actress y/n I/n has recently skyrocketed into stardom after her breakout film 'castaways' alongside sarah cameron, kevin hart, chris evans and chris hemsworth. weeks after the movies premiere, she drops her debut single, further cementing her place in the spotlight. as millions of people around the world begin to notice and idolize her, struggling with her own demons, she catches the attention of rafe cameron, among others. however, not everything goes as smooth as they both would've hoped. and they soon figure out.. it takes time.

main masterlist | series masterlist

four - five - six

hellraisermovie

liked by youruser, rafecameron, jbr and 827k others

hellraisermovie out now! thank you to everyone who contributed on this project including our amazing directors @/davidbruckner and @/jbr. and a big thank you to the amazing actors who brought our vision to life.

youruser YAY!

rafecameron im so hot.

➯ user hes so self aware

➯ user some would call it cocky

brandonflynn BOW BOW BOW

user they fadiddled?!?!

➯ user using common sense isnt a thing apparently

user SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

adamfaison WHOO.

user shes so 😍😍😍

➯ user RIGHT? like fuck rafe shes so 🤤

msjamieclayton thanks for this opportunity!

user that entire scene had me like 😧🫣🫨

➯ user real

rafecameron

liked by youruser, sarahcam and 1.0 million others

rafecameron hellraiser out now!

sarahcam ur so gross ew.

➯ rafecameron puhlease im obviously the better sibling🙄

➯ jbr i beg to differ

user seriously somebody sedate me

user i js know its rough

jbr why are you always bald

➯ rafecameron thats it, where are my clippers

popeh you're getting it tn

➯ cleopatty im right here.

➯ rafecameron so?

user raw, next question.

user guys.. i fear that 'i love you' maybe didnt sound scripted

➯ user she had a line after.. it was scripted 💀

user body so tea, both of them

➯ user seriously unfair 😔

user some ppl need to be put down😧

youruser

liked by rafecameron, sarahcam, jjmay and 928k others

youruser hellraiser, out now! hope you guys enjoy!

sarahcam YES HAWT MAMA marry me

➯ jbr i object.

➯ youruser overruled.

jjmay WOOHOO.

*liked by creator*

user dont sedate me just put me down.

kiekie yo.. forget my man i want YOU

➯ jjmay something tells me he would not approve nor be ok with this.. a hunch

➯ user hmm...

jbr love you!

cleopatty someone check my vitals

user the rafe likes are getting too frequent and i fw it.

popeh no cs this ate i fear.

➯ youruser you fear it ate? im appalled.

➯ popeh you can spell appalled? IM appalled.

your phone

almost two weeks into the new year and you were already navigating through the bustling airport in los angeles. you'd just returned from a brief trip to england, and while part of you was relieved to be back in your city, surrounded by your friends and the familiar chaos, another part of you couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to stay longer. you had initially planned for an extra week stay after your audition, but life had a way of pulling you back. dressed in a matching grey tracksuit with the hoodie pulled low over your head, you gripped your phone, pressing it to your ear as it rang, waiting for jj to pick up.

"you here yet?" the mans voice was heard from the other side of the phone. you nodded, fumbling around with something in your bag before you answered. "yeah, landed about a half hour ago," you spoke, weaving through the small crowds of people as you tried to venture toward the airport entrance. "im almost there just hang tight, a'ight?" you hummed, muttering a quiet goodbye before hanging up the phone.

you continued to weave through the tight airport crowds, muttering small apologies when you bumped your shoulder or elbow into someone else. as you rounded a corner into a different hall, you harshly bumped into a younger girl who looked to be around sixteen years old. "oh my- honey im so sorry. are you okay?" you quickly muttered out as you held her hand to pull her back up. however, she didnt seem phased in the slightest, her eyes widening once she realized who you were.

"holy shit. y- youre y/n, right?" she stumbled on her words, smiling even brighter as you nodded your head with a sheepish chuckle. "uhm, sorry. c-can i get a picture, please?" she asked you nervously, constantly glancing between you and her phone as she fumbled around with it. "yeah sure," you smiled, watching as she excitedly passed her phone to her mom who was stood a few feet away, mumbling something about taking a picture.

after taking around three to four pictures, you turned to her again. "you sure you okay?" with concern etched on your face, a small smile still managed to make its way onto your face as you watched her nod profusely. "y-yeah. im okay. uhm, thank you." she smiled at your before muttering a quick goodbye, ruhshing away to grab her phone back from her moms grip.

you smiled to yourself, gathering your things once more as you felt your phone vibrate from its place on your backpack. "yeah?" you pressed the phone up to your ear, supporting it with your shoulder as you continued your walk towards the entrance. "im here," jj called through the phone, "lucky for you, its too busy i think you can just come out normally." you let out a small sigh, nodding gratefully. "ill be right out," you stated before hanging up.

jjmay

liked by youruser, kiekie and 1.1 million others

jjmay mi vida

jbr im offended. the only pic im in and its blurred.

➯ jjmay blame @/youruser photography skills

➯ popeh im his fav. i look hot in mine

user HELLO?? hardlaunch???

➯ jjmay oops?

youruser jj?? inspirational?? like i didnt send you that pic?

kiekie would just like to say jj was no help in winning the pool game!

user everyone SHUT UP. jj posted! and he hardlaunched?? im done!

cleopatty boy knows two words in spanish and ran with it

sarahcam the shirley temples.. i wonder who made them..

➯ jjmay girl–

➯ youruser this one has a lil sass to it

➯ kiekie lets keep it

➯ jjmay im sorry, IT?

➯ jbr you get used to it, unfortunately.

user i love their friendship

user chat did anyone peep rage..

➯ user real like.. i didnt think they were close with him

➯ user rafe is literallly sarah's brother??

your phone

taglist: @xoxo-ada

psa: anyone else who wants to be added to the taglist, let me know!

a/n: so sorry for the very vey late upload but i slacked off 😔 its ok tho!!

[beauty-funny-trippy]

Gov. Gavin Newsom of California said President-elect Donald Trump may seek to withhold federal disaster aid to California because it is a blue state, as multiple wildfires rage in and around Los Angeles. "He's tried to do it in the past," said Newsom. "He's not just done it here in California. He's done it in states all across the country." Former Trump White House official Mark Harvey said that Trump refused to authorize disaster aid for California in 2018 because it leans Democrat, but finally, with much convincing, reversed his position after learning that the affected area was in Orange County, which for generations had been a GOP stronghold. "We went as far as looking up how many votes he got in those impacted areas … to show him these are people who voted for you," said Harvey. Trump also withheld wildfire assistance for Washington state in 2020, and severely restricted emergency hurricane relief to Puerto Rico in 2017 because he felt these places were not sufficiently supportive of him. “It was clear that Trump was entirely self-interested and vengeful towards those he perceived didn’t vote for him,” said Kevin Carroll, a Trump administration official. “He even wanted to pull the Navy out of Hawaii because they didn’t vote for him." Olivia Troye, who was Trump's Homeland Security adviser, said “It was shocking and appalling to us to see a president of the United States behaving in this way. Basically if it doesn’t benefit him, he’s not interested." Trump is so cruel, vindictive and petty, he delights in punishing Americans while they're in the midst of dealing with devastating natural disasters — simply because they did not vote for him. He is clearly unfit to lead the nation. Trump's vengeful abuses of power are not the acts of a U.S. president. They are the acts of a tyrant.

[minyards-pipedream]

Jeaneil + Andreil polycule has me in its clutches too, but I'm so curious to know what you think Jean and Andrew's relationship is to each other within that I have my own headcanons but I wanna hear yours

(cursed tumblr for not allowing asks from sideblogs, this is nihil-josten hi)

@nihil-josten Hi 🥰

At first, I think their relationship is sort of tense, when Neil starts bringing Jean around during the Trojan’s breaks, but after a while they settle into a comfortable state with each other.

- Jean is not allowed to touch the kitchen in Columbia. Andrew has not forgotten that the French bastard threw away his entire candy drawer. No, the seven pints of ice cream Jean has gotten him since then does not negate these feelings.

- They don’t ever talk about Drake or Grayson, but when Neil and Jean start getting more intimate, Andrew stops Jean in the hall of the Columbia house with a quick, “If you tell him he can’t do something, he’ll listen.”. It’s a little cryptic and at first Jean doesn’t know what he’s talking about and the short asshole won’t expand. But eventually, Jean gets it. And he feels warm knowing that Andrew wanted him to feel safe.

- Jean and Andrew are both totally sick of Neil’s (and Kevin’s) Exy obsession. They roast Neil relentlessly for spending hours a day watching old games and taking notes and just being a little Exy freak. (Neil flips them both off, and gets twice the number of middle fingers back in return.)

- Neil teaches Andrew curse words and basic insults in French. This pisses off Jean to no end because his pronunciation is *horrible*, which Andrew does on purpose. Jean makes Andrew teach him insults in German to get back at Neil… and ends up calling Neil things like “my love”, “kitten”, “little cabbage”, and “darling” instead. Because Andrew is a bastard. No one corrects him. Neil has to fight back the urge to cackle every time.

- Andrew is appalled because Jean doesn’t smoke, “You’re fucking French.” “I’m an ATHLETE, you abhorrent chihuahua.”

- Andrew let’s Jean sleep in his and Neil’s room on bad nights. It’s not in the bed, because Andrew can’t handle that, but they put a cot in there for him, and a nice sleeping bag. Neil sleeps with one hand hanging off the bed to touch Jean. They sleep well, but Andrew is awake all night, every time Jean gasps or whimpers, because even though Jean isn’t his, he’s so very close to that and his instincts tell him to protect, to make sure nothing is hurting him. (Neil loves this, but never mentions it.)

- Jean, eventually, is allowed to drive the Maserati, while he visits. This is completely to piss of Kevin, which both Jean and Andrew enjoy.

[high-queen-of-the-court]

i know i'm in the minority with this, but i think kevin falling in love with a girl who has no exy knowledge is just so funny. i'm talking a short, super girly-girl who wears pink and is pretty much all sunshine and rainbows.

when they meet, kevin is absolutely appalled when she says, "exy? yeah, i think my dad watches that?" but they just have amazing conversations and keep running into each other. THEN she learns all the exy rules, teams, and drama for him and kevin is absolutely infatuated.

since she gets along with a fox, she has to have another side to her. she shows up to all of kevin's games and screams about the refs' calls being wrong and is ready to bust someone's butt the second they slightly knock into kevin. he has no idea what to do. like, what do those ribbons in your hair mean if you're about to commit murder over a sport? (that's super rich coming from him.)

neil definitely thinks this is hilarious. andrew, on the other hand, is just confused because he doesn't understand why anyone would like kevin. (he's also just a bit possessive of the queen)

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Happy WIPW! Could I request either Mer Roadtrip or Arson!Neil, whichever seems more fun? I hadn't expected the Mer Roadtrip to become such a favorite, but I'm really enjoying the level of Constant Danger! (Although at this point, they're kind of *all* my favorite...)

WIP Wednesday (3/26) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 293)

Some time later Andrew is roused by Abram’s gentle, “Hey.”

It startles him beyond belief. Both the sound of his voice and the fact that he just fell asleep two feet from another human being. Andrew blinks his eyes open hard and is met with a smile. "Should I drive you home now?"

"I'm not tired." Andrew lies.

"You sure? Thought you were almost asleep just now."

"Shut up," Andrew says, kissing Abram once before he moves to stand up. He stretches until his back pops and offers Abram his hand, pulling him to his feet and close enough to kiss him again. And again. Abram laughs into Andrew's mouth and it's a gorgeous sound. They gather their things up and Abram carries the cooler back to the car for him.

"Drive safe, huh?" He says, lightly trailing his knuckles across Andrew's cheek after he sets it in the floorboard.

"Mm, you too."

"Text me when you get home?"

"I will." Andrew kisses him one more time because he just can't keep his mouth to himself around this man. When he pulls away again, he gently pets Abram's cheek over the burn scars. Then without thinking, places a kiss there too. "See you later."

"See you later," Abram repeats, voice soft. Once the gravity-defying process of separating from each other's sides is over, they each get into their cars and Andrew follows Abram back to town until he reaches the turn off for his building. He's sleepy enough that he doesn't care to bring everything in with him. He merely parks his car and goes upstairs, ready to climb into his bed. But first...

Andrew Home.

Andrew waits for Abram to respond with a 'Sleep well' before changing and climbing under his blankets. He drops his head into the pillow and conks out almost immediately. The next few hours he's completely dead to the world. He wakes up and the sky has gone dark. When he checks the time he finds it's almost ten o'clock. He has a couple of missed messages. Merry Christmases from his crew, even though he saw them this morning.

A couple random messages from Kevin, who seems to think he's been forgotten about. Andrew ignores them and opens another chat.

Andrew Tell Kevin to calm down, I'm not dead. I just woke up. 🍒Jeremy Mkay. He says 'thank god hey why’s he texting you and not me’ lol Andrew Tell him I lost my phone. By the way, Abram said thanks for the card.

Before Andrew can put his phone down, it's ringing. He pretends not to be wildly amused as he answers. "Hello, Kevin."

"Where have you been?" Kevin’s voice comes through clear as water and he sounds like a nagging mother. 

"Around. Why?"

"Because you were ignoring me all day. And,” Kevin makes a frustrated sort of squawk, “You told Jeremy your boyfriend's name when you said he didn’t have one."

Jeremy, you traitorous bastard. "I don't know what you mean."

"Abram."

"Who is that?"

"Andrew." There's some commotion in the background that Andrew can’t quite make out, but Kevin finally sighs. "Did you have a good day?"

“I did.” Andrew answers. And because he frankly feels the need to gossip, he tosses Kevin a bone and tells him about his and 10’s— Abram’s— date. That it was nothing particularly special, just a faux picnic. A couple sandwiches, a few dozen kisses.

“In a barn?” Kevin sounds appalled. “Wait. The barn? The one you showed me that one time. The one that’s about five seconds from falling over? Are you insane?”

“Perhaps. But Abram’s standards are not as high as yours,” Andrew says, remembering his freshman year of college. He’d brought Kevin to the barn where they shared a few weed brownies. Kevin, having never had such before, thought he was going to die when they kicked in. 

“My standards are ‘buildings meant for human beings to live in’.”

“Yeah, whatever. Goodnight, Kevin. Merry Christmas. Stop reading Jeremy’s messages or I’ll steal your TV.”

“What? How are those things related?”

“They aren’t. You just have a nice TV.” With that, Andrew hangs up the phone and goes out to the living room to fire up his DVD player. Kevin gets his O’Hara clip after one in the morning, but replies to it immediately.

Kevin At last, there she is. Andrew Waiting up? Kevin No. There are half a dozen strangers in my apartment being loud. Jeremy and Jean’s teammates from USC. I pretended I was tired to get away. Andrew Put on the headphones I got you. Kevin I’ll try it. Goodnight, Andrew.

[numnue]

how i think this went down:

kevin, immediately after seth’s death: ok but what about stickball????

nicky, appalled: KEVIN THE MAN IS DEAD

kevin, considering nicky’s words for a second: eh it’s not a major loss

and then it’s just:

neil, to himself: *looks at aaron and kevin* what dumbasses *immediately seeks out andrew*

andrew: your apathy doesn't bode well for your mental health, bestie

neil, sighing internally: ...dont even get me started on seth >:(

[palmettoshitposts]

random hoh neil (+andrew) kefu headcanons:

the only reason anyone figures out that neil has hearing loss is because they’re at a party and neil is a tiny bit tipsy and he just goes “don’t you wish you could hear as well as you did when you were a kid? like there’s sounds I miss hearing from childhood” - neil heard that people lose their hearing as they get older and he just presumed it happened to everyone and no one mentioned it until you’re like in your 60s

the foxes have presumed for a long time it's probably an adhd thing that neil can't follow more than one conversation at once. meanwhile neil just can't lipread them all

the other foxes (it’s mostly matt and nicky) convince neil to find a way to shut kevin up a bit on court. neil, always willing to fuck with kevin, goes on a seemingly sincere ramble one night about losing his hearing has made him become a better player because he’s ‘more in tune with the game’. kevin takes this to heart and starts musing about the importance of nonverbal communication on court and andrew is pissing himself silent laughter

andrew thought neil was beginning to lose interest in him. neil is appalled when he finds this out and says that andrew is, for once, the idiot in the relationship.

when neil gets his first hearing aids, he removes them every time kevin starts speaking and dangles them at him like it’s a bell

andrew immediately learns sign language. there are lots of things andrew can’t say out loud but he can sign. signing feels more purposeful and less open to interpretation. he starts signing things to people that he wants to say but can’t. (‘thank you for caring’ is directed at nicky over the noise of a busy party. andrew presumes can’t understand or won’t see. he does, but never lets on)

[notwiselybuttoowell]

The verdict against the environmental group Greenpeace finding it liable for huge damages to a pipeline company over protests has been described by advocacy groups as a “weaponization of the legal system” and an “assault” on free speech and protest rights.

A North Dakota jury decided on Wednesday that Greenpeace will have to pay at least $660m to the pipeline company Energy Transfer and is liable for defamation and other claims over protests in the state in 2016-2017.

Rebecca Brown, the president and CEO of the Center for International Environmental Law (CIEL) issued a statement highlighting the threat the decision poses to free speech and the right to protest. She says the verdict is “a calculated attack on the sovereign rights of the Standing Rock Sioux and all indigenous peoples defending their land and water. This case is a textbook example of corporate weaponization of the legal system to silence protest and intimidate communities.”

ClientEarth, a non-profit and partner to Greenpeace, said that the verdict highlighted the growing trend of big polluters using the legal system to intimidate and silence critics and that corporations want to send the message that “no organization that challenges the polluting industries is safe” in a statement on social media.

Energy Transfer was “frivolously alleging defamation and seeking money damages, designed to shut down all voice supporting Standing Rock”, Janet Alkire, the tribal chair for the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, said in a statement.

“The case is an attempt to silence our Tribe about the truth of what happened at Standing Rock, and the threat posed by DAPL to our land, our water and our people. The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe will not be silenced,” the statement said.

Energy Transfer’s counsel during the case, Trey Cox, said that the verdict showed that Greenpeace’s actions had been unlawful. “It is also a day of celebration for the constitution, the state of North Dakota and Energy Transfer,” he said following the decision.

Kevin Cramer, a Republican senator for North Dakota, also celebrated the verdict on social media, writing: “Today, justice has been done with Greenpeace and its radical environmentalist buddies who encouraged this destructive behavior during the Dakota Access Pipeline protests with their defamatory and false claims about the pipeline” in a post on X.

But experts and non-profit groups expressed alarm over the verdict and what it means for constitutional rights in the US.

EarthRights, another non-governmental, non-profit group, says that the Dakota Access pipeline protests were “overwhelmingly peaceful” and that the organization “proudly joins Greenpeace USA in speaking up against brazen legal attacks and ensuring that the environmental movement only continues to grow stronger, despite the appalling result in North Dakota”.

The case is being described by legal experts as a classic example of a Slapp – a form of civil litigation increasingly deployed by corporations, politicians and wealthy individuals to deliberately wear down and silence critics including journalists, activists and watchdog groups. These cases often result in significant legal costs for the defendants, which is viewed as “a win” for the suing entity even if they don’t win the lawsuit.

Amnesty International’s secretary general, Agnès Callamard, said it was a “devastating verdict” that set “an array of deeply damaging precedents on the rights to freedom of speech, association and peaceful protest and puts the very future of Greenpeace at risk”.

“It has severe implications for Indigenous peoples, and other environmental defenders and climate activists who tirelessly work to protect human rights. There is no doubt that it will have a chilling effect on those campaigning to expose wrongdoing by powerful companies in the United States and all over the world.”

Greenpeace says it plans to appeal the verdict, and some legal experts say they have a good case to do so. The appeal would go straight to the state supreme court, as North Dakota does not have an appellate level court.

Kelcy Warren, Energy Transfer’s billionaire founder, is a major donor to Donald Trump.

[wayward-robin]

No spoilers past 2x12 if possible folks!

2x12 – Chimney Begins thoughts

What?! Seriously? We’re gonna do a flashback ep now?! OK fine, why the hell not. Keep me in suspense why don’t you!

So, we’re back in the White Boy Frat Club! Seriously, these boys (can’t call them men) are just so childish. They think they’re acting all macho and cool. They’re not. They’re idiots who never graduated from their high school mentality. (They’re actually like what I thought Buck might’ve been like way back in the pilot before he showed he had an absolute heart of gold). 

I really didn’t enjoy this 118 crew from Hen’s Begins so actually groaned when I realised they were back again. And it actually makes their behaviour in Hen’s ep even worse because none of them have apparently learnt anything from Chim joining. They continued the cycle of appalling behaviour towards minority groups.  

I’m not 100% agreeing with Eli. Yeah, you don’t immediately have to be friends with your colleagues. But you can damn well respect people still.

I will say, I did like seeing how Chim found his calling to join the LAFD and as a paramedic. I actually really like that nearly the entire crew of the 118 did other things before they joined and it wasn’t just the first career they fell into. Allows them to bring different things to the mix with their past experiences.

I also loved the training montages in this.

Kevin’s gonna die… yep. Predictable. Never heard of this character before now? Of course he’s dead in present day. There was only one conclusion to this.

I liked what we saw of Kevin. He was obviously important to Chim. That being said though, I confess, I’m not a huge fan of this trick. It’s just my personal opinion but I feel it cheapens the characters relationship a bit. “Oh they were so important to X, but they’ve never even mentioned their name before”. I just feel if we’d at least heard of Kevin prior to his appearance it would have had a bit more of an emotional punch. It didn’t need to be a surprise he died, but the anticipation of finding out how he died could’ve been where the tension lay.  

And of course the ep ends without finding out how Chim is! I will be very upset if he dies, I’m just saying…

[operationslipperypuppet]

alright. as an expert (based on a hell of my own design), i'd like to present to you my bracket, completed, for march sadness.

now, a thing they wanted to consider is what's worse at the end of a 15 hour day. i tested this. my results are based on that.

explanations of each matchup will be under the cut. i'm not having two mile long posts two days in a row lol

winners are in italics

Shit Sixteen

Picnic in Pac-Land vs Oh, Mr. Toad! - easy. picnic was a nightmare, happy birthday was cute. Night of No Tomorrow vs Kevin in Videoland - harder. both suck. ultimately the banana-ing of Kevin vs the nostalgia of all the d&d cartoon characters looking magic school bus-esque gave this to videoland. Wrath of the Dragon God vs Flying Fortress - flying fortress broke me. absolutely fucking killed me. but the absolute husk that was wrath of the dragon god wins this race. fuck that movie. more on that to come. The Hexer vs Warcraft - warcraft was absolutely fine. it's not good, but i've had fun watching 45 movies exactly like it. the hexer was confusing and geralt was unconscious every eight seconds. A Thin Line Between Love and Ape vs The Phantom Menace - i'm not gonna pretend to like the prequels, and definitely not phantom menace. but duel of the fates rules, and love and ape does not have anything close to that. Dungeons & Dragons vs Viva Rock Vegas - fully fuck viva rock vegas. that movie is fucking ass. but dungeons and dragons is one of the most miserable pieces of shit i've ever watched and i've watched it twice. The Ringer vs Mario & Joliet - mario and joliet is funny. the tax drama redeems it. the ringer is a sex pest bothering a princess ft. an amateur magician competition. easy win for that one. Flintstones Christmas Carol vs Halloween is Grinch Night - christmas carol was bad. grinch night was stupid and should never have existed. easy handing it to that.

Hated Eight

Picnic in Pac-Land vs Kevin in Videoland - picnic is the same plot looped 15 times in ten minutes. that's so stupid. kevin in videoland at least has something going on, it's setting up a series. give it to pac. Wrath of the Dragon God vs The Hexer - unfortunate matchup for the hexer here, on another path it'd make it to the foul four. it's so bad. the visuals are appalling and the plot is so scatterbrained. but there are so many visual crimes in dragon god. and like. 3 party members fucking die and i??? didn't care???? Dungeons & Dragons vs Love and Ape - love and ape fucking sucks, the idle animation is dumb. but the songs kinda rule. there's nothing in dungeons & dragons that rules. absolutely nothing. The Ringer vs Grinch Night - this one, a bit, has my personal biases contributing to it. i hate dr. suess. hate that shit. i don't mind the standard grinch, but that's it. i have no attachment to the rest like many american children. also the ringer isn't as nothing as grinch night is. so it doesn't deserve to move forward over that.

Foul Four

Picnic in Pac-Land vs Wrath of the Dragon God - this is where i must deviate from the two crew. don't get me wrong. picnic is horrific. no one should watch it. it should be lost to time. but it's also a thing where cartoons of that era are just kinda like that, so it's kinda okay. it's also 10 minutes. i'll put up with a lot if it's only for ten minutes. wrath of the dragon god made me genuinely consider fighting a random cinematographer. the staffs that the wizard council had were so fucking weird. the scenes in the woods looked like the original intro to critical role. (worked great for cr, do not get me wrong, that's just not a vibe i want in a film) it was so untenable and fucking horrible. Dungeons & Dragons vs Grinch Night - ultimately i can excuse a thing that is nothing more than a thing that is pretending it's trying its goddamned best but falling flat on its face and rolling around in a pile of shit. don't fucking watch grinch night. but it's got an attempt at something. it's a good night for eyebrows (i'm also confused, dw). dungeons and dragons has a single shining moment and it's a soon-to-be-dead-man getting dunked in oatmeal.

Championshit

Wrath of the Dragon God vs Dungeons & Dragons - on january 1, 2020 (and i promise this is going somewhere), i was at my cousin's house after a nye party hanging out, for the entire day. we decided to have a chill day and watch a couple of movies. we happened upon what i can only describe as two of the worst movies i've watched in my entire life - iron sky: the coming race and iron sky. (you just have to trust me on this. do not, under any circumstances, watch these movies). we watched them in the wrong order, completely on accident, and it was such a colossally horrible experience that my cousin's now husband, who was a participant, likes to pretend he wasn't involved. watching these movies back-to-back, after everything else i'd seen yesterday, was an eerily similar experience. absolutely fucking horrible. truly what the fuck. wrath of the dragon god had me cheering for damodar. the props looked horrible (the barbarian had a sword that looked like it was worse than one you could get in a mall). the plot with the wizards and melora felt so unnecessary. i didn't give a shit about any of the party members, and three of them fucking died. (out of five). it looked like found footage. the barbarian wasn't ripped. god it was horrible. it has no fucking heart. dungeons & dragons had plot happen inside a map. there were two goddamn council meetings. they found a dwarf in the trash and pretended he was important and every time i saw him onscreen i said, aloud, "you're still here???" they kept saying important things could only be handled/done by jtt, which is completely against the spirit of dnd as a ttrpg. these props were also horrible, the important rod looked like it was made of plastic. you could barely tell the dragons at the end apart in color. both of these are dogshit films. flaming piles of dogshit, burning on a doorstep. i ultimately hand it to the original because it set up there being a second one, because it was trying harder, because it fell flat in so many places. ask me again tomorrow and they might switch. but truly, it may also be a tie.

thank you for coming on this journey with me. i'm sorry i did this, everyone. have a great day, especially if you read all of this.