#just trying to live
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Living life as an autistic person is spending your whole life being help up to impossible to reach standards, being expected to be perfect when no one else holds themselves to those same standards
And then when you inevitably break, it's being told by those same people that all of it was something you made up in your head and they never said that.
All the while, no one ever considers meeting or even figuring out your needs. They're far to busy expecting you to be perfect.
#autism#no joke someone literally told me that I have a condition that keeps me from seeing the world for what it really is#just trying to live#just trying to make connections#instead being told everything I do is wrong
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i would pay actual money for eddie to call buck his baby daddy just once
"him? he's my baby daddy"
buck.exe has stopped working
#poor buck#just trying to live#eddie casually throwing out terms#this reminds me of eddie in vermont verse#because he doesn't get “young lingo”#and uses urbandictionary#which isn't great at helping him lmao#maybe he should call buck his baby daddy in vermont erse lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Photo
I'm going crazy. Who's coming with me???
#idk man#just trying to live#barely making it#i dont want to be here#i dont want to do this anymore#too much pain#too much anger too much too muc too much
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use ��🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
149K notes
·
View notes
Text
I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever
#in fairness i’m sure both past robotniks just assumed her illness would be what killed her h a#sxsg#sxsg spoilers#sonic x shadow generations#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#ark siblings#sonic#comic#my art#doodles#so this was pretty much entirely done 24 hours ago#but ironically was distracted from posting earlier by playing sxsg#and then watching snapcube play it cause her delight is addicting#i’m missing 2 chests and 2 bolts and I wanna see if I can pull it off without a guide haha#anyways now I’m thinking about the fact that maria and gerald probably went back to their time assuming maria would die of her sickness#and how that would change their respective behaviors#i bet gerald would be holding out that maria would still live a bit longer#just cause shadow inadvertently revealed he’s from at least 50 years in the future due to having met black doom before#(which rewatching cutscenes to remember this quote he Did try to play off a little bit with some sort of#‘oh what do you think the alien squid meant by ’this time i’ll beat you’ that’s so crazy’ comment)#so hey maybe it wasn’t a perfect cure but she managed to live another 10-20 years at least?#all the more reason to press harder surely!#meanwhile maria is coming to terms with her mortality at age 14 or whatever she is#frankly I bet she came to terms with it long ago the way she seems to be written#okay back to snapcube
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
I love the idea of all the robins kinda being clones of each other with just a few differences and a concussed Bruce not being able to tell who he’s squinting at so he just says generic statements and avoids saying any names
Bruce (sitting at the breakfast table): so… how’s the weather… dick?
Jason (grinning): you do know I’m gonna hold this against you for like, the next 2 months right
Bruce: (groans into his hands)
Bruce (walking into the living room): hey have you read through the files I gave you yesterday?
Dick: (confused cause he took a day off to surprise Bruce) ?
Bruce: so?
Dick: er… no?
Bruce: Dick?? What are you doing here?
Bruce (walks into the kitchen with a fresh concussion): Jason? I thought you were on a mission with the outlaws?
Tim: (frozen through mid fridge raid, having assumed they were past Bruce calling him Jason since yk. He’s a shit brickhouse now and Tim is, well, obviously not): uh?
Bruce: *turns around and leaves*
Bruce: Oh hey Cass, when did you arrive from Babs’?
Damian: (slowly turns around in the black hoodie he’s wearing) we’re not even the same gender
Bruce: (under his breath) yeah but the same height
#batman#dc comics#dcu#batfam#dc robin#jason todd#batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#cassandra cain#batgirl#orphan#red hood#Tim Drake#red Robin#damian wayne#Robin#Bruce Wayne is a good father#but a perpetually confused one#read that tag on a fic once and haven’t forgotten it since#honestly bruce is the embodiment of your mom calling all of your siblings’ names before yours while trying to call for you#the batkids never let him live it down#they actually start calling each other by different names just to confuse him further#he draws the line when he hears dick referring to Jason as Cassandra
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Living used to be art to me.
04.23.2024
0 notes
Text
you want them to text back but that's anxious attachment isn't it. it's just that you can feel on the wind when you're not wanted anymore. when they've fallen out of love in any small part of their marrow. you have a hawk's eye for disharmony. you can tell when she has begun packing her things.
don't be annoying. you want to write: i have never experienced unconditional love as an explanation but isn't that pathetic. in adulthood all love is conditional and it should be. you've been to too much therapy. touch grass. how sappy can you be.
but they don't reach for your hand while they're driving. they forget to ask you how you're doing. the call times no longer read 12:34:19. they're 30 minutes and perfunctory before she says baby please, i'm tired. i need to go to sleep. where in her life do you fit. why is it that you never fit into anyone's life very long. oblong creature with so many needs, spilling up and out and over everything. it's a fucking shame the first time she said she loved you it was for your independence. and now look at you.
hollow pit in your stomach, body shaking. fuck, not again. you're not going to ruin another relationship like this, codependent and toxic, spiraling. and in the other half of your brain: if that's your wife, wouldn't she want to hear it? wouldn't it be fine? wouldn't she just comfort you and you can both move on and nobody dies?
but you're crowding her! read another instagram Positive Vibes Only type of post that talks about calming your heart and your brain and your body. try to sit in silence. the thing is that you do have a life outside of her, remember? go back to it.
great news, your parents fucked you up and now you have no idea how to deal with love. you just keep wanting to be chosen. to be real to someone, all the way through. real and kept. held closely. seen as precious to somebody. why even is that? didn't you always swear that people can and should complete themselves? why are you so constantly driven to beg for love, doglike and barking?
it's just the tiny things. it's just that you have to weigh every silence and sentence like bricks on an exposed belly. you have no idea how to shut it off. every alarm bell in your body saying: this isn't safe. start scrambling. she's already going.
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGH I HATE LIVING IN THIS SHIT OF A BODY!!!!!!!!#anxious attachment#is such an UTTER BITCH~!!!!!!!!#AND THE THING IS THAT EVERYONE IS LIKE ''JUST HEAL FROM IT''#AND IM LIKE. BITCH I HAVE BEEN TRYING. I DID A LOT OF IT. I STILL HAVE LIKE. MENTAL#FUCKIN#ILLNESS#im so much better now. but i have days :'( and like .... the grief is bringing out the worst in me#im trying but it's all just like ....... bad in there
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
the pale garden
#minecraft#minecraft live#minecraft fanart#the pale garden#the creaking#IM IN LOVE WITH THIS BIOME…#not my usual art it’s just 2 am and got a burst of inspo… i just wanted to try smth#it was giving over the garden wall
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Damn that's how you feel? 😂what in the fuck (likely a joke tho....... . . .)
*born female, just waiting in line to have a good time at the club
rando says your immediate surroundings possibly looks like Hell itself cause there's too much womankind in the vicinity, by proxy including you.
sheeeesh
#girls are spooky#twitter being twitter#women#just trying to live#lmfao#😂#going to the club#female#sweating profusely
0 notes
Text
I thought this game didn't have random encounters!
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#undertale#utdr#crossover comic#crossver comic#comic#twin runes comic#twin runes#twinrunes au#chara#susie#first a living labyrinth and now facehugger masks#what the heck is this place#i hope they don't have any weird quirks#oh who am i kidding#of course they will#but ngl i love writing susie and chara's dynamic#they're just constantly trying to bully each other#and failing miserably at it
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
4K notes
·
View notes
Note
who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.
#juney.txt#like sure to protect your ego you could try to make up some axis of oppression that concievably means you're not accountable for anything#and how dare people from colonized nations tell you that you have it easier than them just because you live in the imperial core#or how dare trans women say you have it easier than them because no matter what it'll always be your word against a tranny's#or you could just learn to be a little uncomfortable for a moment#and look at the situation for a second and say#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''#''and it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if they're frustrated at me''#''especially if i'm being a prime example of the things they're getting frustrated about''#''i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant''
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
There’s a new drug in Gotham making the rounds, one synthesized by Two-Face’s people; if you take it you will have a 50/50 chance that you’ll experience the greatest high of your life or that you’ll die.
Batman is desperately trying to find the main lab and cut off the production from the source and hasn’t been able to find a lead in weeks.
That’s when Gordon gives him a file that was given to him by a “white haired ghost kid”. It’s a detailed report written similarly to a scientific journal with detailed sources that are mainly first hand accounts from deceased victims of the Two-Face drug.
At the very end of the paper there’s an address to a Gotham University dorm room with a sticky note next to it that says “if you need help with death or the undead. Yours truly; Danny Fenton.”
#guys look at the tags I’m too lazy to add it to the main post#my thoughts as to why Danny hated English is because he’s helped write so many scientific papers for his parents the writing style#is ingrained into his day to day writing. this time tho he was trying to be professional for The Batman#he doesn’t want to step on Batman’s territory but since he now lives in Gotham might as well give the main powerhouse a#‘high just letting you know I’m in your city now’ gift#he doesn’t even try to hide his identity because he knows that Batman will find it eventually.#might as well help and fulfill his obsession as a consultant to the Bats#Batman now asks Danny to help with communing with the dead to help solve cases#dpxdc#danny phantom#dp x dc#bones prompts#bones writes in the tags
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Ohhhh my god get them out of my headddd (whole page under da cut)
#I’ll just be trying to live my life and boom jazzprowl my day is ruined#jazzprowl#tf jazz#tf prowl#transformers#maccadam
1K notes
·
View notes