#just thinking out loud and hurting my own feelings
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sturnioz · 2 days ago
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so what would fb chris do if shy reader was just evidently insecure one day? like he initiates sex and shes like hesitant to take off her clothes and has been like finding ways to cover her face all day because a random girl in one of her classes called her ugly to one of her friends or something?? im just curious
-💐
"aight, 'kay. the fuck is goin' on? huh?" chris breaks away from you, his sharp gaze piercing into yours as he notices your hesitation to reveal your body to him — which you've obviously done countless of times before without any problems. leaning back on his palms on the bed, his chest bare, he gives you a look. "what? c'mon. talk."
you frown softly, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you avoid his gaze, the heat rising to your cheeks making you aware of how vulnerable you feel as you finally mutter, "some girl in my class, she.. she just said some mean things."
"what mean things?" chris prompts.
you take a deep breath, the words catching in your throat. "she.. called me ugly," you can't shake the embarrassment for admitting it out loud, but you were hurt. "and her friends, they... they just laughed. they all agreed, i think."
chris stares at you in silence for what seems like eternity, his gaze unwavering as his tongue prods at his cheek, and he tilts his head to the side slightly, squinting as he processes your words.
"so.. you're actin' like this 'cos some girl called you ugly?" chris scoffs. "kid, that's like fuckin' high school drama, a'ight? who gives a fuck if she called you ugly?"
"i do," you find yourself saying, your voice firmer than you expected. "i care."
the words hang in the air, and you catch a flicker of something in his expression, a mix of uncertainty and awkwardness as he continues taring at you. you wish he would look away, that he would shift his focus to something—anything—other than you.
"look, i uh... i get it, yeah?" he finally says, his tone softening a fraction. "but you.. you can't let some random fuckin' girl get under your skin like that, bun. 'kay? 'cos what they say is all fuckin' bullshit anyway."
you blink, surprised. "it is?"
"yeah.." chris nods slowly, scratching his cheek as if trying to find the right words. "you're pretty, bun."
the sudden compliment hangs awkwardly between you, and you can see the tension in his shoulders. it's as if he's uncomfortable by his own words, and he shifts slightly, pulling a face.
but a smile creeps onto yours despite the lingering embarrassment, feeling a warmth spread in your chest. "thank you... that means—"
"no," he snaps, his tone shifting back to its familiar bluntness. "don't get all weird on me, kid. s'not a big deal, yeah? and don't let that get to your head 'cos i'm not sayin' it again. and — and don't get all mushy on me either... shits gross."
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cinnamxnangel · 3 days ago
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showstopper ! (mlist)
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warnings: none rlly! fluff, banter, banter, banter
chapter 4: it's not a date .ᐟ
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"and cut! y/n, megumi i'd like to speak with you. privately." gojo calls out.
the three of us sit down in the producers lounge, waiting for someone to speak.
"you both are incredibly talented," gojo starts. "i don't have to say that, your work and success speaks for itself." i smile. "but i'm not feeling a lot of chemistry when we're filming. i know you guys may have your own feelings about each other," he says eyeing the both of us.
i didn't realize our dislike for each other was that apparent.
"that's fine and it's none of my bussines," gojo leans back. "but on set it's a different thing. it's a job, right?" megumi nods slowly. "that's why i think you two should go on a date of sorts."
"what?" we both exclaim at the same time. i look at him, annoyed.
"relax.. it's only for an hour. and it's not even a date, just the two of you hanging out alone." i can see gojo fighting the smirk on his face.
i want to slap it off.
"what are we supposed to do?" megumi asks. he hasn't looked at me this entire time.
he talks like i'm not even in the room.
"i don't know." gojo shrugs, the sly smirk now painfully visible. "you're both adults, figure it out."
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we walk in an uncomfortable silence, purposefully not meeting each other's eyes. i hear a couple of kids laughing, running quickly to their destination. i crane my neck to see where they're off to in such a hurry. my eyes meet with a brightly lit neon sign that reads "arcade".
a smile finds its way to my face as i recall the days where i too found such excitement over simple things.
"what are you looking at?" megumi asks, realizing i've stopped in my tracks. "you can't be serious." he sighs once he reads the sign. i smile.
why can't i enjoy these things again?
my feet seem to move on their own towards the arcade, megumi unwillingly following behind me.
"what are you? 4 years old?" i roll my eyes.
"are you always this grumpy?" i ask.
" 'm not grumpy." he says, in an almost pout. it makes me laugh.
"i feel bad for anyone who has the displeasure of meeting you."
"self-pity isn't a good look on you."
"i wonder how your fans would feel if they knew how you really are?"
"they would say 'i can fix him'. my fans are delusional, they'd do anything for me." his words are sweet, but there's a look of distaste on his face, like they leave a bad taste in his mouth.
"what? you don't like your fans?" i ask, a slight smirk on my face.
"i never said that." he mumbles, avoiding my gaze.
"didn't need to," i shrug. i walk to the front, buying the ticket cards. i look over at megumi, one eyebrow raised. "do you want one?" i can see megumi contemplate the idea before finally exclaim..
"ah fuck it." i grin, buying cards for both of us. i thank the person, collecting the the cards. i hand one to megumi.
"you didn't even offer to pay?"
"you're a a-list celebrity, you don't need someone to pay for you."
"you're an a-list celebrity too. it wouldn't hurt to offer." i say.
"this was your idea, you pay." i roll my eyes.
rude, i think but from the expression of his face i realize i said that out loud.
"soo what'd you want to do first, princess?"
"don't call me that," i retort, shooting him a glare. i look around, the sounds of lasers and people's laughter filling my ears.
"uhmm.." my eyes linger on the giant crossy road game. i walk over, megumi trailing behind me. "i used to play this game all the time. i was soo good." i tap my card and place my fingers over the buttons.
i forgot how fast-paced this game was and i struggle to keep up. i die almost instantaneously.
"7 ?!" i exclaim. i can see megumi trying to hide his smile in the corner of my eye. i glare at him.
"like you could do better." a look of pure determination flashes in his eyes.
"oh yeah? bet." he taps his card and begins furiously clicking the buttons. he gets well past 7, finally dying when he gets to 151 points. he groans when he dies but looks at me with a smirk.
heat rises to my cheeks under his belittling gaze. "i haven't played in years, okay?" anger finding its way into my voice.
we continue playing for hours, these games turning into a competition, we had both won four, the last game deciding who's the winner.
"so what do i get when i win?" i ask, a smug smile plastered over my face.
"so certain you're going to win, huh?"
"of course." he lets out a laugh.
"what?" i ask, my brows furrowed.
"nothing, it'll just be all the more satisfying when i win." a ghost of a smile on his features.
his smile.
it was never sweet or genuine. it felt demeaning.
words cannot explain how badly i wanted to wipe that look off his face.
"ooo! let's play basketball!" i say, spotting the mini basketball game.
"alright. but I have to warn you, i used to play basketball in high school." my eyebrows shoot up at the idea of megumi being 15 years old, running around sweaty in a school gym. "don't look so disturbed."
"actually the idea of you being a ugly, awkward teenager brings me a lot of joy."
"i actually wasn't awkward or ugly."
"i think you're as delusional as your fans."
"okay, but we should have a prize or the loser has to do something." i say. megumi leans against the machine, thinking, his thumb and forefinger tapping furiously against each other.
"oh! if you lose you have to go on a date with my assistant." he says with a smug look on his face. i can tell from the look in his eyes that his assistant might not be the most normal person. but i take my chance.
"okay. but if you lose, you have to.. wear a shirt with my face on it for an entire day!" i smile. he shrugs.
"that's fine, you're not going to win. i suggest bringing pepper spray on your date."
we swipe your cards and grab the basketballs. there's a two minute timer, whoever gets the most points wins.
3, 2, 1.. go!
we both start to throw our shots and i don't bother to see how megumi's doing.
1 minute remaining !
"you might also need to bring a bodyguard. like a big one, todo is really buff."
"shh don't talk to me, i'm locked in." i don't look at him as i answer, continuing shooting.
time's up !
we look at the amount of points and-
"i win!" i exclaim. i jump up, a goofy smile painted over my face. his look of defeat brings so much satisfaction.
"you got lucky." he rolls his eyes. we exit the arcade while i continue to berate him and a scowl stays planted on his face.
but we don't notice, is the click of a camera, capturing a mundane moment between the two of us.
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roll the credits !
first date? but neither of them like each other
arcade dates are SO cute! when is it my turn? huh?
also not the pap rn
can you guys feel the ship edits, ESPECIALLY w megumi wearing her face
a/n: i had loads of fun writing this one. we are getting more plot heavy 😈 next chapter will be interesting.. have an amazing, amazing day my angels!
taglist ! - @missunrise @cyberst4rs @qtnfer @rxi-n-lyche3 @kenmacantakemeaway @soobinbunnie5 @c-haefilms @lupicalbestwolf @babysoo-meu @stillnotherapy @cl3xr @starrysho @good-mourning0 @ifuhatemeiloveu @bunichuu @aestheticallyvini @mochroialainn @starsryi @ladytamayolover @megumislovedoll @dimwitfreakby @urfavlarry @yowumi @bubybubsters @gumims @samkickikc @sukuna5slut @sugacor3 @angelcakkess @rixo-19 @idkidk32 @pandabiene5115 @q2uq2u @ichorstainedskin @izanacult @adormae @samkickikc @meowforluv
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save-the-villainous-cat · 2 days ago
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"Surely, there must be a reason for your visit," the villain purred. They put their elbows on the table and their head on their hands, cupping their own cheeks. "Unfortunately, I don't believe you're visiting just to see my pretty face."
The hero cocked their head.
"Why not?"
The villain looked effortlessly attractive. They always did, but today from this angle, in this pose, with those clothes…The hero’s brain betrayed them over and over again. Every now and then, their thoughts circled around their nemesis, even if they didn’t get to see each other that week.
Or perhaps, especially then.
"Because you only ever show up when you want something from me," the villain said. Although their smirk was of flirty nature and although their hand was reaching for the hero again, the disappointment in their voice didn't go by unnoticed.
It was true. In the same sense that avoiding eating the forbidden fruit was true.
The villain touched the hero's shoulder. "...you got some lint here..."
It was a poor excuse to touch them, but the hero preferred it when their nemesis had to justify it. They preferred building walls around themselves and denying this part of their personality — this horrible part that wanted the villain.
They enjoyed the flirting. The soft touches. But there couldn't be more than that.
"You know I'm busy," the hero murmured. They grabbed the villain's wrist before they could pull back their arm. "But I can totally understand if you miss me. I will arrange something."
"You make me sound desperate."
"Aren't you desperate for me?"
"Oh, please. As if I want you in that way," the villain said. Under the table, their foot was already trying to find a way to the hero's bare shins, contradicting their words easily.
Admittedly, the hero couldn't help but feel guilty. It was true that they had come to the villain once again to beg for information. It was also true that they avoided them unless it was absolutely necessary.
It was a stupid habit. A pathetic one. Something the hero had picked up in their childhood, something that had manifested when they had decided to become a hero.
No one was allowed to get too close. Least of all their supposed nemesis. Even if that nemesis wasn't a threat on the battlefield anymore. For now.
They couldn't recall when the flirting had started. The villain had always been someone very talkative, someone who could talk for hours. And apparently, in some way, this had rubbed off on them.
"Everyone in this city wants me in that way," the hero mumbled.
And it surprised even themselves that they’d said it out loud. For whatever reason, they tried to get some jealousy out of the villain. It wasn't fair to the villain, the hero knew that. It wasn't fair to flirt and make all sorts of promises, just to disappoint them in the end.
The hero was a mess, they could admit that much. People getting too close always hurt.
It was always too painful.
"I suppose they want all the perfect parts of you. The flawlessness." The villain smiled and swayed their head from left to right. The hero looked at them, trying to ignore their increasing heartbeat. "I bet no one wants all those ugly details. All those late nights, those bloody hands, that emotionless shell around you…"
Suddenly, the hero's eyes widened.
They hadn't come here to be humiliated. Or to be insulted. They knew they very far from—
"But, just so you know. If I was into you and if I wanted you in that way, I'd adore those parts. I would adore and cherish them. Because I would have chosen you with every single thing that comes with you." The villain winked and the hero's throat dried out. "You are not closer to perfection than any other human being. And I am probably the only person in this city who not only notices but also accepts this."
The hero's hand was in theirs and they led it to their lips, pressing a soft kiss to their enemy's knuckles.
The hero couldn't think. They couldn't…could not really…
"But we were talking about something else, were we not?" the villain asked.
The hero couldn't answer. They felt like crying.
"The information you wanted?"
"Oh…yeah, yes. Sorry. Long night."
Both of them knew that was a very cheap lie.
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signanothername · 3 days ago
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Could we have some soft/comfort headcannons about anyone of your choosing? It's election night and I really would like something soft for my brain to chew on instead of worry all night
Absolutely!
Imma give you a bunch of different little guys <333
———
Killer:
-his cats help him a lot with sleep problems, they make him calm enough to the point of actually closing his eyes whenever he’s with them (reminder that he usually sleeps with one eye open xhxbbx)
-after he’s saved, he gradually becomes better at eating, he still avoids food that reminds him of the past but becomes more accepting of other types of food, eventually getting his bone mass and weight back, going from lanky to chubby <3333
-he eventually accepts the state of his soul and instead of trying to fix it, he tries to understand it, understand himself, he becomes a lot more gentle with his own self
———
Color:
-he has albums upon albums full of pictures he took over the years, filled with places he visited, pictures of people he loves and moments he cherishes
-he’s very connected with so many people, and a lot of people find him to be a great confidant, he does a lot to help people where he can, he eventually gets the good he gave back with people taking care of him
-he’s in a queer platonic relationship with Delta and Epic
———
Nightmare:
-he has piles upon piles of gifts Dream gave him for their birthday over the years, he never got rid of any of them, these gifts are something he cherishes dearly
-he’s the one to introduce Killer to Ccino’s cafe, he actually did that with no ill intentions, and Nightmare himself is not really sure why he went out of his way to introduce Killer to the cafe
-he and Dream sometimes sit beside their mother in silence, just taking everything in, taking each other presence in, not talking or interacting, Nightmare feels peaceful during these moments, it’s the closest thing to the same feelings he had as a happy child
———
Dream:
-even though he has a fallout with Ink, he eventually remedies his relationship with them, they become best friends again
-whenever life gets too much, he goes to Swap’s house and stays with the swap bros, it helps immensely
-Dream never expects to receive anything on his birthday, that expectation is broken when he receives a gift from Nightmare, he never got another gift afterwards, it’s only that one gift, but it’s the entire world to him
———
Error:
-he thinks of Ink as his bestest friend in the world, he’d never admit that out loud tho dhdhhdhdh (they’re frenemies)
-he loves geno and Fresh dearly, they’re his proclaimed siblings, he’s more open about his love with them
-he actually takes commissions by making dolls for people who want them in exchange for chocolate as payment (his chocolate stock never runs out zgxggx)
———
Horror:
-He eventually finds a better relationship with food
-he succeeds at escaping from Nightmare and managing to keep his AU (and most importantly his brother) safe in the process
-he finds himself becoming best friends with Farm
———
Ink:
-his art is something others never see, but surprisingly, if you had the chance to see it, then you’d find it’s art the people they love most
-their fallout with Dream actually hurt him, so when he and Dream got back to being besties, they felt very happy about it
-he loves spending time with Color, Epic and Delta cause of their constant traveling habits, they’re very entertaining to be around
-while they spend most his time in the doodlesphere, the second place you’ll most likely see them in is with their parents in the omega timeline, he loves them with all his heart
———
These are the ones I can think of off the top of my head hdhdhdhdh hope they’re enough to rotate in your brain all day <333333
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redrose10 · 23 hours ago
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Could you do arranged marriage with yoongi, prompt 68, and a happy ending🥺
I hope this is okay!
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Fire & Ice
Yoongi x Female Reader
Warnings: Swearing, hints of cheating, slightly suggestive, mentions of being drunk
#68 “Seems like you have to sleep here tonight”
When you first entered into an arranged marriage with Min Yoongi you did your best to try and make it work. Sure it wasn’t ideal and you would’ve rather fallen in love on your own terms but it was done and over with and you were determined to try your best and make things work.
The first time he broke you down though was on your wedding night. His parents had rented a large suit at the most luxurious hotel in the city so that the two of you wouldn’t have to travel far after the reception. You were nervous but hopeful and maybe even a little excited. You changed out of your big ball gown of a dress and were waiting on the bed for Yoongi. When the door finally swung open you perked up a little only to be shot down when he grabbed his clothes and told you he had booked his own room to sleep in and then left without sparing you a glance. You spent your wedding night cold and alone in a king size bed while your new husband was doing who knows what. A crack formed in your heart that night.
The next time he chipped away at that crack was a few months later. It was his birthday and you had spent the entire day cooking all of his favorite foods. It was a lot of work but you really wanted to impress him. He told you he’d be home at his normal time so the table was set and you had changed into a nice dress and had lit some candles. You waited and waited and thirty minutes late turned into two hours late turned into six hours late. Finally around 2am he came walking through the door completely ignoring you and all of the food that was now cold and ruined. After questioning him he let you know that his friends threw him a surprise party that you apparently had never been made aware of and he forgot to tell you he was going to be home late. He tried to apologize but you fought back tears as you shoved his present into his chest and stormed off to your bedroom. The crack in your heart grew quite a bit that night.
There were other things that chipped away at it here and there. Hurtful words and spiteful glares. The few times you would go out of your comfort zone and wear something to try and get his attention but he’d never do more than look in your direction before turning his attention elsewhere. There was the way he always introduced you simply by your name, never Mrs. Min or even My Wife. It made you feel like he didn’t want people to know.
There were moments of positivity though. The two of you talked a little bit. You both had a love for music which started many conversations. He sent you roses on your birthday. And you swore he showed the tiniest bit of jealousy when you ran into your physical trainer, Jungkook. You couldn’t quite make it out but you know you heard him mumble something about how he could have muscles like that if he really wanted to before telling you the car was ready even though it wasn’t and you two had to stand outside in the rain for an extra ten minutes. You got the feeling he just wanted to get you away from Jungkook.
One evening though, he finally shattered your heart beyond repair. Another night where he came home way later than he should have. You heard a loud crash in the living room followed by lots of giggles. You rush out there and found him stumbling around drunk out of his mind after having knocked over a vase. His two friends, Namjoon and Jimin, were off to the side not completely sober themselves but seemingly more coherent than your husband was.
Yoongi coming home drunk wasn’t anything knew or shocking. You were used to it by now. So you didn’t think twice when you went to help him up and get him in bed only to be stopped when you saw the large purple and red bruise on this neck. You threw his arm down like it had electrocuted you.
It had always been in the back of your mind that he was possibly cheating. You two had been together for many many months at this point never having done anything like that and it was starting to affect even you. You always pushed those thoughts away though but here was the evidence right in front of you.
Yoongi was too drunk to defend himself. Jimin and Namjoon begged you to listen to them as they could explain what happened but you didn’t care to hear it.
You stormed off back to your room leaving Yoongi passed out on the living room floor and his friends to sneak out knowing there was going to be a fight. That was the moment you fully closed yourself off from him and decided that you two were nothing more than business partners for photo-ops and charity events.
You spent the next year barely speaking or even seeing each other. The first couple weeks
Yoongi tried to explain what happened but you were having no part of it so eventually he gave up. You had bought your own apartment on the other side of the city and only interacted with him at events and family get togethers.
And then one day yours and his parents dropped a huge bombshell that you were not expecting. They wanted to know why the two of you had not produced an heir yet. You couldn’t help but laugh because the two of you were barely even on speaking term so how were you supposed to start a family. That opened up a whole bunch of questions from your families leading to them suggesting the two of you needed to spend time together to try and work on your relationship. It was non-negotiable and before you knew it plans were made and plane tickets were booked against your will.
And that’s how you found yourself alone with Yoongi in a snow covered cabin up in the mountains several hours away from your home.
“I am not sleeping in the same bed as you.”, you spat after you found out it was a one bedroom home.
“Okay sleep outside in the snow then. I don’t really care Y/N.”, he mumbled walking out of the bedroom.
You rolled your eyes but had already accepted that you would be spending a sleepless few nights on the couch because you refused to give in.
After the long trip all you wanted was a hot shower and to get into your comfy pjs so that’s what you did. By the time you were finished the cabin was filled with a heavenly aroma and you found Yoongi in the kitchen. There were two plates of food sitting on the counter. He had made your favorite. When he noticed you he gently slid one over in your direction and for the first time since the beginning of your marriage you felt something other than disdain for him. But you weren’t going to let him know that.
“Are you trying to poison me?”, you questioned.
“Eat it or don’t. It doesn’t matter to me.”
You felt a little bit of guilt watching him grab his plate and sulk over to the table. Quietly you took the second plate and joined him. You both sat in silence with him scrolling on his phone and you just staring at the snow falling outside the window. It seemed like a blizzard was forming as the snow fall had picked up quite a lot since you arrived.
“It’s snowing quite a bit. I hope we don’t loose power.”, you whispered while somewhat trying to gage his reaction to you speaking to him.
He nodded, “yeah I hope not.”
And as if the universe was playing a joke on you the lights flickered once…twice…and then the entire cabin went dark.
“You have to be kidding me.”, Yoongi grumbled before getting up to look for the fuse box.
While he was gone you got a notification from the rental company letting you know there was a power outage in the area due to the snow storm and the current time estimate for it to be fixed was at least 48 hours.
When Yoongi returned you showed him the text which only soured his mood more. He walked into the bedroom and returned a few minutes later bundled up in several layers.
“Where are you going?”, you asked concerned.
“Well without electricity we won’t have any heat. I saw an ax on porch. I’m gonna go chop some wood so that we can build a fire to keep warm.”
“Okay let me get dressed and I’ll come help you.”, you said already walking towards the bedroom. He stopped you furiously shaking his head, “No absolutely not.”
You felt a little hurt that he was so adamant against you going with him but you also knew you couldn’t really blame him either so you stopped your movements as he asked.
He must’ve noticed your reaction because he cleared his throat, “It’s cold and dangerous out there. Just stay in here and enjoy the warmth before it’s gone. I shouldn’t be long.”
You nodded and watched as he closed the door behind him.
You had gotten all the dishes cleaned up and were waiting around for Yoongi. He had been gone quite a while and you were starting to get worried. So you decided to get dressed and were about to head out when he came walking him struggling to get the door to close behind him thanks to the wind. His cheeks were flushed bright red from the cold as he dropped several logs of wood into the fireplace. Within a few minutes he had a fire going that slowly filled the room with much needed warmth.
The two of you sat on the couch in silence just watching the flames move and listing to the crackling of the fire.
After some time Yoongi left and returned with several pillows and blankets. He started laying them out in front of the fire place.
“Seems like you’ll have to sleep here.”, he said looking at you, “We’ll both have to sleep here.”
Your first instinct was to argue against it but then you felt a chill down your spine and you knew you would never make it through the night in the bedroom. So you nodded and joined him underneath your own blanket while he had his and you still made sure there was a considerable distance between the two of you.
The soft glow and the sounds provided by the fire were comforting and you could feel yourself slipping off to sleep fairly quickly until you heard Yoongi shift beside you for probably the hundredth time.
“Yoongi are you okay?”, you asked half concerned half annoyed.
“Yeah sorry. It’s just still so cold it’s hard to get comfy.”
You thought for a moment before taking a deep breath, “D-Do you want to get under the same blanket? We can use our combined body heat to keep warm.”
He became so quiet and still you almost felt embarrassed for even asking until he nodded and lifted up his blanket to give you space to get underneath it.
There was an immediate increase in warmth but you thought it was probably thanks to your body’s rising temperature from being so close to Yoongi.
The room returned to a noticeable silence until it was Yoongi who cleared his throat, “Y/N can I tell you something?”
“Mmhm.”, you nodded.
He took a deep breath, “I’ve never cheated on you.”
You were surprised he was bringing this up so nonchalantly and out of nowhere.
He continued, “That night…That night when I came home drunk and I had that bruise it wasn’t what you think. I was out having some drinks and there was this guy. He came up to me and was talking all this shit about me and my family and stuff. I tried to ignore him. But then…then he called you a gold digging whore and he said he’d take you off my hands for $5 because that’s all you were worth. I got pissed that he was talking about you like that and punched him and then there was a fight and I got hit with something. Maybe a glass or something. I don’t even know what it was but that’s where the bruise came from.”, he stayed silent for another moment, “I know I wasn’t the best husband from the start but I would never and have never been unfaithful to you.”
His words replayed over and over in your mind.
“I just want to say I’m sorry for how I treated you. I was angry and hurt that I wasn’t given a choice in this whole situation but you were the last person I should’ve taken it out on.”, he sighed before continuing, “I just wanted to put that out there. It’s bothered me for a long time and I figured since there’s nothing else to do right now I could take the time to finally say it.”
Your heart was racing as you fidgeted with your sweatshirt.
“I’m sorry too. I should have at least let you explain yourself before completely shutting you out.”, you whispered feeling a little bit guilty, “I just wanted you to give me…to give us a chance and I was hurt that you wouldn’t.”
The room fell into another silence other than the crackling of the fire but this time it was a little less tense.
“M-maybe we should start over. I promise I can be a good husband.”, Yoongi said after a while.
“You did build us a pretty nice fire so that’s pretty good husband stuff.”, you replied trying to lighten the mood a little. He chuckled, “Yeah that’s just the beginning of the things I can do for you.”
You smiled, “Okay let’s start from the beginning.“
He nodded before searching for your hand underneath the blanket. When he finally found it you intertwined your fingers with his.
“Y/N, will you marry me?”, he asked.
“I mean yes but I don’t think we need to start over that far back.”, you giggled as he squeezed your had.
“Yeah how far back should we go?”, he questioned.
You bit your lip debating your next move, “Well how about our wedding night?”
Yoongi chuckled before pulling you into a kiss, “Yeah I think that’s a good place to start.”
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yanderefarm · 3 days ago
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I need me a silivan request, like vampire reader is at one of those vampires parties, silvan was sitting on reader’s lap all dolled and pretty, and then one of a high statue vampire would be memrized by silivan and would ask reader to buy silivan fron him, and at that time reader was getting confused by his feeling, he got attached to his pet, and acted jealous on the other vampire.
cw;; dehumanization, fluff,
this is such a cute idea. thats your pet!!!
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this was your first party with silvan as your pet after centuries of seemingly looking down on the practice of pet humans. you still weren't sure about keeping him, he seemed fragile and delicate and stupid. even now at a party where he should be passed around and adored by every hungry horny vampire in the place he was clinging to you. his little hand gripped the back of your shirt tightly like a child afraid of getting lost. was it cute? maybe.
you decided to be generous to the frightened human and grant him permission to sit with you while you talked about work. he sat in the chair next to you and you pulled him back up immediately.
"humans don't sit there."
"im sorry... where do i sit, sir?"
that's how he ended up in your lap. it attracted many eyes to you but they still kept to themselves. they were smart.
the bold idiot who approached you wasn't.
you were minding your own business when this fool came up to you. you recognized him as someone who had recently came into ownership of a large human farm, he was still only a baron though. he smiled at you and then even wider at the pretty thing on your lap.
"did you get a pet, my lord?"
you let out a heavy sigh. "i haven't decided yet."
"how much would you sell it for?" the other vampire reached out and grabbed one of silvan's curls. silvan tried his best not to move but he pulled back into your chest slightly.
".... i don't know."
"it looks pretty high quality! where did you get it?"
this guy's voice was uniquely grating on your nerves. how he kept referring to silvan as an it, how he looked at him like an object. there was this feeling in your stomach that he wasn't just seeing silvan as an object but as an object that would increase his own value. he didn't even like silvan properly! he only cared because silvan was with you.
"i had him bred specifically to be beautiful. if he were for sale I'm sure he would be worth more than anything you own."
you could tell you hurt his pride with that. "that's... I'll have you know I've come into a lot of wealth recently, my lord!"
"oh?" you feigned ignorance. "oh i did hear about you acquiring some land."
"the 5th largest farm in your territory and 3rd in quality." he puffed out his chest in pride. like you don't own number one on both of those lists. god this guy is annoying.
"then you can have him if i can have that." you smiled smugly watching his face immediately falter.
"h-huh? but that's..."
"you don't want my specially bred pet?"
"he-he's certainly beautiful!! if-if you get into the breeding market you should let me know first thing!!!" he scurried off.
you hugged silvan's small frame tight against your body without thinking, wrapping yourself around him like a protective blanket. the silver haired boy was blushing in your arms his entire face red while you were pouting.
"sir... are.. am i.. yours..?" silvan asked tepidly his voice just loud enough for you to hear.
you felt his warmth from his embarrassment seeping into your body and you held him even tighter. your cold heart yearned to beat.
"yes. you're mine. no one else can have you."
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vanteguccir · 56 minutes ago
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── ୨୧ ! TOO MUCH
chris sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: Where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.
WARNING: Insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.
"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"
Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.
"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."
"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"
Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.
"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”
Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.
"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"
Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.
"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."
The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.
The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.
And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.
"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."
He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.
Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.
"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."
But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.
Maybe he was.
As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.
His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.
Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.
Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.
"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.
But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.
"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.
She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.
"Come here, baby."
Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.
His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.
Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.
"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."
But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.
He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.
Childish. Annoying. Immature.
He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.
"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"
Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.
"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."
He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.
"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.
Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.
"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."
He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.
"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"
Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.
"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."
He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.
"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.
"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."
Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.
Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.
Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."
As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.
"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.
The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.
"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."
As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.
Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.
"I love you, sweet boy."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.
Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.
Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.
They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.
Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.
"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.
But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.
He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.
When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.
His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.
"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.
Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.
Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."
Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.
"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."
Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.
"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.
"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."
He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.
"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.
Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.
Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?
His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.
"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."
Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.
"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."
Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.
"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.
Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.
"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.
Matt nodded, adding gently.
"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."
Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.
"Okay."
Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.
"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."
Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.
"Yeah... always."
"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.
She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.
"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.
"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.
Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.
"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."
Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.
"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.
Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.
"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."
Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.
"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."
"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"
Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.
63 notes · View notes
casteliacityramen · 3 days ago
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[Previous] [PART 2 OF 2]
“I flew around a bit." 
"I overheard some talks about an open gala in Sinnoh and I decided to attend it. I’ll tell you the whole story about what happened later, but...
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... Even when I was trying to relax, I couldn't feel comfortable with myself. Like… like wearing clothes that didn’t fit. The longer the night went on, nothing felt right. And I’m not just talking about the disguise.”
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“You felt like a caricature of who you used to be.”
“Yeah. I knew I was going to feel awful when the Continental War was done and over with. I knew we were going to be reprimanded, or worse, but…” Rio frowns deeply, trying to gather her tangled thoughts together.
“I didn't think it'd mess me up as bad as this. I didn’t recognize who I was by the end of the night. I’m worried there’s no going back to who I used to be. I miss the version of myself who could go to a gala and not be miserable in the corner. It feels like that part of me died--that optimistic part of me."
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“Do you get what I’m talking about?”
Rio waits with bated breath, only for Ray to curtly answer:
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"Yes. And no?"
Rio feels her temper quickly flare up as she lets out a frustrated huff, "Whaddya mean by that?"
Ray raises his palms towards her, slowly.
"It's not that I don't understand what you're saying,” Ray turns to her and gives her a faint smile, "I like to think my experiences are changing me for the better. That’s where you and I differ."
“What, that you’re becoming less of who you used to be and more of… whatever this is?”
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"A sub-par noodle penchant?" Ray laughed, throwing Rio's words right back at her from earlier that day.
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"You know what I mean, Ray," Rio feels her face get hot. "It's as if..."
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"... It's as if you're undoing yourself to make up for what you've done," Rio whispers out loud. The sudden conclusion steals her breath. "Ray, you're not doing all this to punish yourself, are you?"
"..."
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"Please say no.”
"It may have started out that way, but that's not the case now."
“Ray…” Rio whispered in disbelief, out loud. 
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“You may see this as me continuing a dead man’s legacy. But it’s more than that. This place was a gifted to me and came with a wish. I intend to honor that gesture.
Even though we can’t do any of our usual duties, that’s no excuse to stop acting like a shepherd.”
“If your version of helping the commonwealth is to further seat yourself into guilt, I can’t let you follow through with this.”
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“You’re still not getting it, It’s not like that."
"Are you sure about that? Because it's all starting to sound like you're doing this as some sort of messed up way of repenting for your sins."
"I'm telling you, it's not like that."
“Ray, there's a moment when memorialization for someone else turns into hurting yourself." 
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"Like how you visited your own gravestone in Johto? Do you really see all of your soldiers offering gifts in your memory and call that self harm? Didn't you just say that you're grieving over someone who you used to be? Is it really that wrong? To cling to what's left!?"
"For me, it is."
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"We aren't mortal, Ray. This entire conversation we're having? This argument? All of it? This is what happens when we can't move on. We drag everything with us for hundreds, maybe thousands of years whether we like it or not. This is only going to bring you pain in the long run.
I’m sorry I blew up at you earlier today, but I still stand by what I said. You have no right to continue Tai Ishikawa's legacy, even if all of this was a gift.
All of this? Hanging around Ingram's descendants, Ayumi and Jack? Working an ungodly amount of hours for a tiny bit of yen? The past guilt alone will eat you alive."
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"I'm aware of what happens to me if I stew in it. I've been here five years longer than you have,” Ray mutters. “Besides, do you think that I don't know how to live with all the pain I've gathered? Do you really think that guilt alone has made me stick it out this far?”
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Of course not. But... she can't simply admit that.
She’s seen him on good days, bad days, and worse days. She's seen him scraping by with little money to his name but continuing to honestly run the business with a straight back and taut shoulders.
She shakes her head, unsure of herself. After all, she's borrowing words that Ray used to tell her in the past. She's not used to being on this side of the argument, which begs the question: are they destined to swap places again somewhere, sometime down the future?
"I've seen what guilt does to you, Ray. I sure as shit know what it's doing to me," Rio shakes her head, sighing. "I don't think this is only guilt... But there's more of it than I want to see. I don't need any more reasons to lose sleep at night if I can keep you from hurting yourself."
“Then…
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... Are you willing to stop me? Stop all of this if I fly past that line?"
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"You're already dangerously close. Some would say that you're already past the line of hurting yourself."
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"I'm not."
Rio was hoping for any sense of weakness, any stumble over words, fumble in his convictions, but Ray continued to stare at her. Rio was the first to look away.
"All of this… It helped you?”
"It has. I’d love to have you here."
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"Okay."
--
The two sit in comfortable silence. As the sun fades, so too, does the tension between them. With no further words to be exchanged, the rest of the decanter behind the counter is emptied out.
Ray makes a disgusted face with every sip. One of the unfortunate effects of their blessings is the rapid processing of whatever toxins enter their body, like alcohol. If they wanted to get remotely buzzed, they had to drink the stuff that was barely safe for consumption.
Which reminds her...
“I thought I’d get you this as a peace offering.”
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“What is this?”
“Got it from the gala I talked about earlier. Wine from out of this dimension. Just like the guests."
“What?”
“Later. But guess what? I actually got drunk.”
“Bullshit. Why'd you make me drink the rest of that decanter? Pour me some.”
“You’re the one with the hands, you pour us some.”
Before Ray could reach behind the counter to grab the glasses once more, they are interrupted by the sound of a squeaky stool and a pained, muffled grunt at the end of the stand.
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Jack sits in the seat farthest from them, his eyes never meeting theirs. His mouth opens, but it takes a long time for him to slowly form the words. He shrinks as he whispers:
“I don’t know where else to go.”
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It's about time they get ready to open back up, anyway.
[Pinned Post]
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wandascrush · 14 hours ago
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Hail Hydra
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Avengers x Fem!Reader
Warnings: fighting, kissing
Part 5 of my DIWK series
The following few days were a whirlwind of missions, training, and more double agent work that left your nerves frayed and your mind constantly racing. You tried to shove down the persistent unease Wanda’s cryptic knowledge left lingering, but the tension only grew. Whatever secret she knew, it felt like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Every interaction with her now carried a strange weight.
But there was also Natasha.
    Every glance she threw your way, every smirk or light touch, made your pulse quicken. Yet, you kept your distance, still a little hurt by your past conversation- and also confused by her signals. Some days she was warm, charming, gentle- and others she was cold and distant; treating you like nothing more than another colleague. Throwing you snarky remarks, or simply shutting you out completely. Hardly even a friend. It felt like walking on a tight rope with her. 
Maybe you loved it. You couldn’t tell yet. 
    That night, as the compound settled into a rare quiet, you found yourself wandering the halls, unable to sleep. Maybe some water would help? The weight of the mission, of Fury’s expectations, of your tangled relationships, all pressed down on you. As your feet padded the ice cold floors, turning a corner- you nearly bumped into Wanda, who was pacing the hall herself, face deep in thought.
“Wanda?” you said, your voice softer than you intended.
She stopped, blinking at you before offering a half-smile. “Hey.”
You fell into step beside her, the silence between you surprisingly comfortable. You could feel her stealing glances your way, her body tense as though she was holding back something.
After a few minutes of walking, she broke the silence. “Do you ever get tired of it?”
You glanced over, catching the flicker of vulnerability in her eyes. “Tired of what?”
“Of having to hide everything.” She paused, her gaze dropping to the floor. “Of pretending all the time.”
The question hit too close to home. You swallowed hard, feeling the pressure of your own secrets suffocating you. “Yeah… I do.”
Wanda slowed her pace and stopped, turning to face you. Her green eyes bore into yours, and there was something raw in her expression. “I feel like I’m pretending too much,” she whispered. “With everyone. I miss being…me.” 
Her words lingered in the air between you. A part of you knowing exactly what she meant, even if you weren’t ready to fully acknowledge it.
  You took a step closer, feeling the magnetic pull between you, your fingers itching to reach out and close the distance. But before you could act, Wanda’s hand gently brushed yours, her touch feather-light but enough to send warmth spreading through you. 
   You locked eyes with her, “What is it that you know about me Wanda? My secret?” 
Her thumb grazed the back of your hand. “Your sister.” 
Your throat ran dry. 
“How-” you sounded breathless, and the hum of your heartbeat against your chest was loud enough for everyone to hear. You were sure of it. 
“I stole the file that was in your bag. Few weeks ago. I’m sorry- I was suspicious and I couldn’t help myself.” 
Your breath hitched at her words, the vulnerability in her tone catching you off guard. Her touch lingered, her fingers grazing yours as if testing the waters.
The tension—the unspoken questions—remained.
“And? What did you find out?” 
“The file barely had anything, just basic information…and at the bottom family relations.”
“So. Now you know. Any more questions?” 
“How old were you when they-,” Wanda's words caught in her throat. 
“I was 13. My sister was 10.” 
“Do you think she’s involved with Hy-,” The little witch saw your entire demeanor change. Guilt flooded her system, poisoning the air, “Nevermind.” 
You took a step back from her, clearing your throat, “Next time just ask.”
The silence spoke volumes.
   The next day, things with Natasha picked up in intensity, and that only added to the confusion. You were sparring in the gym, exchanging blows and banter as usual, but something in her gaze was different—hungrier, more focused on you in a way that made your breath catch.
   After landing a particularly well-placed hit, the assasin smirked and stepped closer than necessary, her chest almost brushing yours. “You’re getting better,” she teased, her voice low and almost sultry.
“Maybe you’re just getting rusty,” you shot back, your heart thundering as her proximity sent a rush of heat through you.
  Those green eyes narrowed playfully, but there was an intensity in her gaze that made your stomach flip. She didn’t step back. Instead, she reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, her touch lingering a beat too long.
“Am I?” Natasha’s voice dropped, and suddenly, the playful banter felt like something much more serious. Her eyes locked onto yours, searching for something. She leaned in, her breath warm on your skin, and for a moment, you thought she might kiss you. Again. 
Your lips parted, and you could almost feel the moment tipping over, the tension that had been building between you both ready to snap. But just as you were about to close the distance, a voice interrupted, startling you both.
“Nat, Y/N, we’ve got a debrief in five,” Steve’s voice called from the doorway, and the spell was broken. Fucking Steve. 
   Natasha stepped back, her smirk back in place, though you could see the frustration simmering just below the surface. She didn’t say anything, but the look she gave you before turning and walking away said enough. 
    Later that night, you were back in your room, replaying the day’s events in your mind. Wanda’s words, her touch. The weight of your secret lessened, but you were still annoyed with her. You felt insulted. Hurt. It was all a tangled mess, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep balancing everything.
Later, as you were about to turn in for the night, there was a knock on your door. Your heart skipped a beat, expecting it to be Natasha, but when you opened it, Wanda was standing there, dressed in her familiar hoodie and sweats.
“Can I come in?” she asked, her voice soft, and something about the way she looked at you made your chest tighten.
You nodded, stepping aside to let her in. She glanced around your room before sitting on the edge of your bed, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her hoodie.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted, looking up at you. “I’ve been thinking about… things.”
You moved to sit beside her, the air between you charged. “Yeah? Like what?”
Wanda hesitated, biting her lip as if unsure how much to say. Finally, she looked at you, her eyes full of something raw and unguarded. “Like you.”
   The room felt too small, too warm, and your pulse quickened at the weight of her words. Truthfully, the little witch had no idea what she was doing. Or why she was doing it, but some annoying part of her twisted and turned and flipped at the thought of you. And it felt good. Wanda reached out, her hand resting gently on your arm. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, and you felt yourself leaning in, drawn to her in a way that felt inevitable.
You could hear the soft hum of rain on your window, falling all around the two of you. 
    Wanda’s eyes flickered to your lips, and in that moment, all the tension that had been building between you snapped. You closed the distance, your lips meeting hers in a kiss that was soft at first, tentative. Your gentle hand cupped her jaw, she unknowingly pressed into it. As soon as you felt her respond, her fingers threading through your hair, the kiss deepened, turning into something more urgent, more desperate.
When you finally pulled away, breathless, Wanda stepped back, shyly smiling, “This is complicated,” she whispered.
You nodded, your heart racing. “Yeah, it is.”
That night, as the rain continued to pour and life moved on- you stood up as the reality of what happened with Wanda hit you harder than any mission briefing could. You hadn’t slept much, your eye bags deepening by the minute. You’d crossed a line with her, one you weren’t sure how to come back from. Or want to come back from. The feeling of her lips on yours still lingered, and despite the complications, you couldn’t push the memory away. But what now?
     The tension of the previous night still lingered in the air as you boarded the transport that would take you to the HYDRA base. You couldn’t afford distractions now. Your mission was dangerous, and every visit to HYDRA put your life on the line. The stakes felt even higher now that they were starting to get suspicious of your role.
    As the aircraft cut through the clouds, you steeled yourself, mentally going over the details Fury had drilled into you. Fake files to hand over. Just enough information to keep HYDRA from questioning you, but not enough to do any real damage to the Avengers. It was a delicate balance, one that was becoming harder to maintain with each mission.
   When you landed at the base, the cold, sterile walls greeted you like a prison. There was no warmth here, no camaraderie like with the Avengers. You walked through the halls, keeping your expression neutral, passing by agents who nodded at you with stiff respect. They trusted you, but you knew that could change in an instant.
  Samantha, your least favorite person to exist, was waiting for you in the debriefing room, her sharp eyes tracking your every move. She was one of the more dangerous operatives, the type who didn’t need powers to be lethal—just her instincts. She had been a close friend when you first joined HYDRA undercover, but lately, you could feel the cracks forming in your facade, and you knew she had too. Her friendship turned to disdain in a second.
“Y/L/N,” she greeted you with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “We’ve missed your intel.”
You forced a smile, trying to match her energy. “Good to be back. Got some new information for you. Try not to choke me this time.”
You handed her the folder Fury had given you, filled with carefully crafted lies and non-sensitive data. She flipped through the pages, her sharp gaze occasionally lifting to scrutinize you. It was subtle, but you could feel her trying to gauge whether you were still loyal—or if you were hiding something.
“Interesting,” she murmured, setting the folder down. “You’ve been quiet lately. Not much action from you or the Avengers. What’s going on over there?”
You kept your face neutral, your heart pounding in your chest. “Things have been tense. The Avengers are getting more cautious, harder to infiltrate. They’re watching everyone closely, even me.”
Samantha leaned back in her chair, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Is that so? Well, you’re lucky we’re patient. But patience only lasts so long. HYDRA wants results, and you haven’t delivered anything substantial in months.”
Your stomach tightened. She wasn’t wrong. HYDRA was growing restless, and you knew that if you didn’t give them something soon, they would turn on you.
“I’m working on something big,” you said, leaning in as if confiding in her. “I need a little more time, but it’ll be worth it. Trust me.”
Samantha’s eyes flickered with suspicion, but she didn’t press the issue. “You better hope it’s worth it, Y/N. Because if you’re lying…” She let the threat hang in the air, the meaning clear.
You gave her a tight smile. “I’m not lying.”
Samantha stared at you for a moment longer before standing up, dismissing you with a wave of her hand. “We’ll see. I’ll expect an update soon.”
You nodded, trying not to let the tension show on your face as you left the room. Once you were out of her sight, you let out a shaky breath. This was getting too close. You needed to talk to Fury again, but you also knew you couldn’t risk breaking your cover.
As you sat in your temporary quarters at the base, you stared at the walls- you had a job to do, but with each visit to HYDRA, it became harder to keep up the act. One slip-up, and they’d realize the truth. They’d know you were a traitor. A liar. An enemy.
Your thoughts wandered to the Avengers. To Natasha. To Wanda. Being here felt like another world, but the feelings you had for them were ever-present. You didn’t know how much longer you could keep lying to everyone. 
  A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts, and you tensed. It wasn’t often people came to your quarters at HYDRA.
You opened the door, and there stood Samantha again, her eyes cold, calculating.
“Mind if I come in?” she asked, though it wasn’t really a question.
You stepped aside, letting her in. She walked around your room, her fingers tracing the sparse furniture, her eyes never leaving you. “I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier,” she began, her tone casual, but you knew better than to relax.
“Oh?” you said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Samantha turned to face you, her expression serious. you could feel her eyes boring into you. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and for a moment, you were sure she knew—knew about the fake intel, knew about the mission. ‘You’re getting sloppy, Y/L/N,’ she muttered, her voice low enough to send a chill down your spine…”and something doesn’t add up. You’ve been here for months, and we’ve seen very little from you. And somehow, these past few months the Avengers have been one step ahead of us at every corner. I’m starting to think you’re holding out on us.”
You felt your pulse quicken. “I told you, I’m working on something big—”
Samantha stepped closer, her eyes boring into yours. “And I’m telling you, I’m not convinced. You better be very careful, L/N. HYDRA doesn’t take kindly to traitors.”
Her words hung in the air, the threat unmistakable.
“I’m not a traitor,” you said, your voice steady. Keep cool. “Maybe you are.”
   Samantha was caught off guard by your statement, letting out a dry, humorless laugh. Her cold blue eyes studied you for a moment longer before turning to leave. At the door, she paused, glancing back at you. “For your sake, you should hope that’s true.”
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boxfullaturtles · 11 months ago
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Thinking about how Rise turtles were created specifically to be warriors, to be fighters, to be lethal weapons of destruction on a massive scale.
Thinking about how Hamato Yoshi was supposed to be a defender, a sacrifice, to do his duty because that's what he was born to do.
Thinking about how Lou Jitsu ran away from everything he was supposed to be, how he fled his family name and tried to leave it behind him.
Thinking about how Splinter stole the turtles because he saw his family's legacy in their fate if they stayed with Draxum, how they were innocents who would be subjected to war in someone else's name.
Thinking about how even though Splinter and the turtles, actively and passively, attempted to avoid the path to battle, they ended up there anyway.
Thinking about how the Rise turtles did exactly what they were supposed to do, what they were designed to do. They did the very thing they were built for. They went to war, they destroyed, they defended, they sacrificed.
Thinking about how the Hamato family will always end up fighting, no matter how far they run, no matter how deep they hide. That their bloodline carries the fate of the world in it, whether they want it or not.
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mejomonster · 4 months ago
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I hate panic attacks
#rant#which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them#i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything#ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me#but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually#but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks#im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade#ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself#turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for#trigger from self hating thiught loops#it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u#physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in#the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation#but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself#in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last#longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more#im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours#im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for#hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying#in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop#altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life#and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway
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moonchild-in-blue · 2 months ago
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Why are box braids so damn hard to do it yourself. I have a renewed and greater respect for my DIY people 💙
#i've never used box braids before but i really really want to try it at least once#even though i usually wear my hair down with the bangs#smth smth reconnecting with my heritage etc#also i feel like my hair is way too thin and slick for it. it *is* curly but not like my mom and sister's#it's a lot softer and thinner like my dad's. which i absolutely love because it is a lot easier to maintain but#braiding my hair like this will be a challenge. i know with the braiding hair it will be easier but. idk.#i haven't even decided if i will do it or not cus my hair is breakage-prone and i'm a bit fearful of that#but at the same time. i'd look so bomb.#a lot of people don't know i'm part black because i look VERY latina/desi (thanks mom and dad for the insane mix)#and idk. wearing a typical african hairstyle would be a huge deal for me ya know? i know this makes 0 sense for most of you but#aaaaa i'm rambling. calling out my ancestors for some strength because these braids are gonna suck the life-force out of me#(my wrists are already hurting and all i did was watch tutorials lmao)#(and no - getting someone to do it for me is not really an option. my mom's hairstylest would probably make us a discount#(she's from our former church and a long time family friend)#but i just don't feel comfortable with that and can't really afford it rn. plus i hate ppl touching my hair.#haven't been in a salon in many years - i cut my own hair)#so i guess i'll just learn? maybe ? idk thinking out loud here#darya talks to herself
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softshuji · 2 years ago
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You guys have probably noticed that I never write angst that has no comfort. I don't know why it just hurts too much to think that it doesn't have a happy ending, that my favs might hurt me in that way without making up with me. I see so many people saying or rather inferring that adding comfort to angst weakens it or that "proper" angst has no comfort at all, but a) I kinda disagree and while it's fine if that's what others prefer, I don't think it's something I can ever write. The y/n in my fics is me, she's always me, and I put a shit tonne of myself into my work (as everyone does!) I just think it hurts too much to imagine a scenario where I'm actively being hurt (in some way) by my faves without some resolution. I don't think it weakens anything in any way.
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tonycries · 6 months ago
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Unmistakably Yours - G.S.
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Synopsis. In which the strongest bends space and time - literally - after coming back from deatḣ, to do what he’s always wanted to do - you.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, best friends to lovers, Satoru goes a little (very) INSANE, oral (fem receiving), fíngering, manga spoilers, use of jujutsu powers, unprotected, créampie, spitting, overstim, féral Satoru, heinous things, happy ending, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 4.5k
A/N. Yeahhh that poll was cooking up something devious heheh. Gege give me back my man.
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Gojo Satoru was going to kill someone.
He was going to kill someone and it didn’t matter who. It didn’t matter how. It didn’t even matter if he had to haul his broken body - scarred and barely-healed - out of this stiff infirmary bed, because the great Gojo Satoru awoke and the world shook.
Because you weren’t here.
“Ah. The oh-so deadest one, I see you’re awake.” Satoru flinches at the sharp, exhausted drawl from his left. 
Slowly, he blinks away the haze in his aching eyes, desperately trying to adjust to the cold room. Shoko’s voice was too loud. The lights too bright. His waiting arms too empty - where were you? 
With a low hiss, Satoru’s body is moving before his mind, sitting up like a man possessed. Goosebumps prickle his skin as the thin blanket falls off his shoulders. Temples throbbing because the world was spinning and spinning and you-
“Calm down, Satoru.” Shoko sounds almost panicked now - as much as she could, anyway. Uselessly trying to push him back onto the mattress. “I don’t care if you’re the ‘strongest’. Sukuna did a number on you and you have to rest-”
“Where is she?”
---
It was the final nail on your coffin - that slight, steady rumble beneath your feet. So fleeting that you’d written it off as your weary brain, too goddamn tired from today. Heaving out a sigh, you rub your eyes in frustration, so fucking alone in this too-large penthouse. 
Fingers jittery, you rifle through your best friend’s closet for his box of blindfolds, because you knew he’d be complaining about the sensory overload at the infirmary if- when he woke up. Though, you think that was more an excuse for Shoko to send your wrecked self away than anything. 
Grabbing a few more than necessary, your heart lurches as you eye that dusty framed photo by his bedside. A much younger Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, and you - probably the last time any of you smiled so carelessly. 
One dead and the other just on the cusp of it.
He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’s the strongest, right?
Swallowing heavily, you try to put your mind to something - anything - other than the memory of that battlefield and the blood. So much blood. Everywhere. 
God, you should’ve stayed. What if Satoru-
That was when you felt it. 
The tight, uncomfortable feeling of atoms standing at attention all around you. The air was so stagnant and heavy that it was almost hard to breathe. 
You don’t know how you realize what it is - but you don’t get the chance to wonder about it either. Because the thought has barely even crossed your mind before everything else is thrown at the window at those two words. 
Hoarse, and whispered, voice ever-so-slightly cracking at the end. One you recognized, one you knew you always would.
“My love?”
Satoru.
It was a miracle that you didn’t get whiplash from how fast you whirled around to face the doorway - and it was an even bigger miracle that you didn’t trip at how your legs were carrying you to that tall, familiar flash of white hair without a second thought. 
Hell, you don’t think you’ve ever run this fast in your life, and it still wasn’t quick enough when Satoru engulfed you in his arms. Letting out a soft sigh as he hugs you tight enough that it hurt, like he never wanted to let go. 
All familiar warmth and a rapid heartbeat that matched your own. 
A shiver runs down your spine at that scent of the infirmary, tinged with something so dangerously metallic, miles away from the usual hints of pine and candy. But you only pull Satoru closer - not even realizing the tears staining his snug t-shirt, nails digging into his sculpted back. 
“S-Satoru?” you murmur wetly, as if you still couldn’t believe it - even when you were in his strong arms. 
It killed you to pull away, and Satoru wasn’t any better, pulling you firmly to his heated body with a guttural grunt as soon as you showed any signs of shifting away. Grip almost bruising, fingers tight on your hips. But you didn’t mind, why would you? 
Because the strongest was nothing under your will - he always was. And it’s only once you break the embrace just a fraction of an inch that you confirm that this actually was Satoru - your Satoru. 
“You’re here.” you breathe out unsteadily, not knowing where to look first - his heaving chest, as if he’d run all the way here, or those faint scars along his exposed skin. Jagged, running down his pale skin like he was too impatient - too distracted - to let them heal properly. Satoru’s face was scarily blank, pretty lips set in a tight grimace like every second you weren’t locked in his arms killed him. 
He doesn’t answer - like he didn’t know himself. Nervously, you raise your eyes to meet his and-
Oh, Satoru, he was here. Alive.
Looking like he was ready to make sure that no one else was.
You just wondered where they’d pile all the casualties. Too many to bury at Jujutsu High if those tiny blue flickers of lightning at the corners of Satoru’s eyes were anything to go by. 
Gaze hooded, pupils blown, he didn’t look at you with that usual warmth. No, he looked at you like a man that had crawled back from death just to rip you apart. And you had half the mind to wonder whether this was some special grade curse that had just come disguised as your best friend. 
“Are you okay?” you try again, raising a hand to cup his cheek. “Toru?”
Oh, you might as well have just signed your own will, because no sooner are the words out of your mouth before Satoru’s jolting. Like the mere sound of that stupid little nickname from high school was enough to shock him to his very core. 
Electrify him just enough to finally look at you like it was the first time. Like he was seeing you after a thousand years. “My love.”
There it was again, that quiet, strained little mantra. 
Followed very closely by the deafening slam! of the door behind him, so hard that you spy one of the hinges rattling off. Startled, you look over Satoru’s broad shoulders just to catch a glimpse of the single, large handprint charred into the wood, slight steam wafting from his hand.
Shit. He’s lost it.
Almost like the strongest has forgotten his restraint - or didn’t care about it either way. Heated, you wondered what this boded for you. 
Will you be lucky number one on his kill list? You wonder, as Satoru presses his mouth right above your pulse. Racing. Dangerous. Feeling the rapid thump! thump! thump! under his lips.
Breathing you in, dragging his nose up, up, up- He mutters into your skin, “Y’can kill me if you don’t want this.” Will you go down - if there’s anyone left to remember, that is - as the casualty that surely and officially signaled the honored one’s descent into madness? Only the second best friend he had to kill?
Or, Satoru pulls away slowly from his little haven, breath ghosting your lips as he gasps out a shaky, “No God can take me away without doing this.” Will it be something else entirely?
And then he’s kissing you - and you’re kissing him. 
Because fuck, how could you not? This is Satoru, and this is all you’ve ever wanted since those late night convenience store runs in high school, hand-in-hand and teleporting away from a furious Yaga.
The same Satoru that had cockily winked at you goodbye before facing Sukuna - leaving you crying with nothing to hold onto but those cold, cold hands and wishes that you’d have just fucking kissed him before. Maybe even put aside your pride to just tell him.
But none of that mattered now, because Satoru was so desperate - drinking you in like you were the last breath of air on Earth. Like it hurt more to part with your lips than it was to be cleaved in half.
Such a mess of teeth and saliva, and you were addicted. Drunk off his sweet taste - like candy, almost, and those cheap mochi he always got from downtown - and the electricity pricking at you each time your skin grazed against his.
It almost hurt - but it hurt so good.
Gasping, you pull away for air - impossible with the way Satoru was like a madman, kissing your swollen lips again and again and-
“Toru!” you squeal, muffled through his lips. “Aren’t you-” His mouth drops into a soft oh! at the delicate strings of saliva snapping in the non-existent space between you two. Surging forward like he couldn’t help himself. “Battlefield- mmpf- now?”
With a pained grunt, Satoru finally halts, just a hair’s breadth from your lips. And if you were in any better state of mind, maybe you’d have noticed the brief flicker of blue lightning all over his body. The way the lights flicker. 
“Special curtain.” he pants against your open mouth, a muscled thigh shoving between your weakening legs. “Time barely passes in here.”
You don’t know what your head is reeling more from his words or his hands - hands that kill - caressing you like a lover everywhere. Unable to decide between your hips, to your ass, to your pretty pretty face. Kiss-bitten lips uttering, “Everyone’s waiting for you.”
“So?” Satoru lets out a humorless laugh. About an octave higher than usual, like he was at the end of his rope now. Eyes hazy and glowing, looking as if it took everything in him to not just tear off that uniform and take you right now. 
“But-”
“Shut up and let me ruin you, my love.”
Your back is hitting the mattress before you can even start to wonder what the fuck is happening. One second standing at the doorway and the other all sprawled out on Satoru’s bed.
Besides yourself, you blurt out, trying to make sense of the situation to both of you two. “Did- did you just teleport us?”
“Don’t know.” he answers. And Satoru sounded like he genuinely didn’t know, as bewildered as you were. Powers acting before him - way, way before he can think - as he fists your shirt in his hands. “Don’t care.”
And you half wondered whether Satoru was even aware of what he was doing as he pulls, down, down down. 
Rip!
It tears through the air - both the sound, and the way he’s just pulling your shirt to shreds. All depravity and no repentance as Satoru throws it behind God-knows-where. Buttons hitting the floor at a maddening little rhythm to which he was slowly losing his sanity. 
He was kissing you like he was angry - taking it out on your poor clothes. Because before you know it, he’s pulling your bra off. Fingers searing on your skin, skirt just tatters on the floor. 
“Waited too long.” he groans, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. “Always wanted to do this.” And once he started, it was like Satoru just couldn’t stop, rambling into the valley of your breasts, “Ever since I first saw you and oh-”
That was it - only one look at your panties, all flimsy and drenched - and you’re back to wondering what Satoru’s kill count would be. You shudder as his eyes widen, letting out a strangled gasp from some deep, primal part of himself. Voice so broken and starved as he muses, “-can’t believe I waited this long.”
Shit. You weren’t making it out alive.
Immediately, Satoru’s dropping further down the mattress, easily pushing your knees up all the way till they were at your breasts. 
And it was so unfair. 
Unhair how he was still fully clothed, while you were spread so shamefully. Unfair how he was sliding his underneath your panties up and down, grazing your swollen folds. Up and down, up and down up and- Pooling your sweet sweet juices on his fingertips before pulling, marveling at how sinfully soaked they were. 
And it was like something snapped - maybe his whatever restraint he had left, probably you by the end of this. Because just a split-second later, Satoru’s tearing right through your panties. Not even taking a second to breathe before burying his pretty face into your dripping cunt. 
Unfair how you were liking it so dangerously. Being so used. 
And Satoru knows - he thinks, with whatever rationality he has left intact - that he wants to admire your pretty lil’ cunt. To finally drink in what he’s been dreaming about for years all these lonely nights. But, no, that’s for later - for a different Satoru, one that didn’t feel like he was going to fucking die if he didn’t taste you right now. 
“Ah! Hngh- T-Toru-” you arch into his hot tongue, as he licks erratically up your folds, long, sloppy movements of his tongue all the way from your base to your swollen clit. Lapping at your juices like he couldn’t stop.
“Tha’s right.” words muffled into your cunt. Throwing your legs over his sculpted shoulders. “Gimme more, use me. Use me- fuck fuck fuck- yeah.”
He sounded as delirious as you were already, flinching with each word spat into your sensitive cunt. Drunk off your pussy and so messy, like he was well and fully intent on ruining you. 
And it’s all you can do to sob so needily as he swirls his tongue around your sensitive clit. Seemingly unable to decide between sucking on it harshly and dipping into your sloppy hole. In and out. Wanting everything. Anything. 
“Fuck. S’too deep. Sh-shit.”
“Oh yeah?” he’s grinning, a cruel, cold little grin. You can feel it as he rolls his tongue against your clit over and over. “S’not deep enough.”
You pathetically try to close your legs around his head in shock, as the tips of his long fingers spread open your pussy further, teasing your entrance. 
But who were you against the strongest? The one that got everything handed to him on a silver platter since birth? Except you - until now, that is.
Because Satoru’s swatting thighs back open like it was a mere inconvenience, and feel your cunt clench in- fear? Anticipation? as you realize how gently he was throwing you around like a ragdoll, in comparison to that door from earlier. 
“No.” he sounds absolutely wrecked, babbling around your throbbing clit. “Need this- need you.”
And then he’s plunging knuckle-deep in your plushy pussy, so greedily that your slick is trailing down his wrist. Drinking in your pretty gasps of his name as he roams for that one spot he knows will have you seeing stars - only the best for his girl, right? The only thing on his mind right now, like a predator starved.
You can only tug on his hair and buck wildly underneath him, inching Satoru closer to where he was desperately searching for. Close - so close. 
“Toru-” you moan, like a prayer. 
But it wasn’t fast enough. 
Not for Satoru, at least.
Even through the haze in your eyes, you could make out that brief flash of electric blue in-between your legs, eyes widening as ah-
That cheat. 
You wondered if he even knew he was using his powers right now. Or whether Satoru was too far gone at this point. Way too smug with the way he hits that one spot. Hard. 
Ah, you quiver as something so dark sparks in his eyes. Looking like a man starved, that had finally come across his favorite meal. Moving with frightening accuracy as he pumps his fingers in and out, hitting it each and every time. 
“Shit, ngh-” you let out a shrill moan, “It’s too good. You’re so fucking-” 
One hand was so messy toying with your dripping entrance - the other digging into your hips. Dragging your sloppy pussy senselessly all over his mouth. 
Hard enough that you were sure it’d leave marks for tomorrow. If you even made it that long, that is, if the tiny shocks of electricity at his fingertips told you anything. 
Desperate. Violent, even.
So it only makes sense that your orgasm was the same. “Fuck- m’cumming m’cumming, fuck fuck fuck-” You’re shaking as you cum, crying out Satoru’s name and delirious little moans that you’d otherwise be embarrassed of. 
And he doesn’t stop. Not when you’re blinking your vision back. Not when you’re shying away from his tongue, the stars behind your eyes too much with each flick of his tongue. 
“S’too much- too- fuck, sensitive, Toru.” you whine, big fat tears clinging to your lashes. 
Ah, there it was again. Just when Satoru was beginning to think that he might just be veering into a state of mind that could be considered sane - you have to call him that goddamn nickname again. And it’s only driving him wild. 
Well, he muses, fumbling with the hem of his t-shirt, it’s really on you then. 
You let out a fucked-out little whine as Satoru finally takes his shirt off, revealing such milky, toned skin. All sharp curves and dips like he was sculpted so meticulously, going down, down, down and- Your breath hitches at the large, pink scar standing out of his torso, so uneven and fresh that you feel a fresh wave of tears - different ones, this time. 
You take a steadying breath, eyes unmoving from the injury. “Satoru-”
“No.” Satoru’s tone is firm, so different from the metallic tinkling of his belt. He was moving now, shifting in between your legs to kiss those tears away. “Need this. Need you. Need you need you need you so bad-”
“But your…” you trail off. The words catch in your throat as he finally unbuckles his belt, pulling down his pants just enough that his throbbing cock springs out, hitting his sculpted abdomen. Red, and so so angry, soaked in precum. 
He was so…massive. Now, you expected your best friend to have a big dick, but this was ridiculous. He was so intimidatingly long, thick enough that you could feel the slick beading out of your sloppy hole already.
Yeah, you definitely weren’t making it out alive. 
Satoru sees it too, of course, because his cock twitches furiously. A low hiss leaving those pretty pink lips before he’s spitting on your quivering cunt. Once. Twice. 
And you know that if this shameless bastard could use six eyes to find your g-spot, then he could’ve done the same for this. But, no, he lets some of it miss, splattering against your inner thigh, smearing all over as Satoru thumbs in his saliva with your slick. 
God, he was treating you like some object. Wordlessly throwing your legs over his shoulders, dragging his weeping tip down your swollen folds. So fucking filthy. 
And then you feel like you’re been split apart - because Gojo Satoru was unforgiving. As was his aching cock. He’s barely even pressing through the first ring of muscle, and you already feel like he’s pushing all the way into your lungs. 
“T-Toru.” you yelp, glancing down at the way your pussy was stretched so lewdly around his thick cock. Quivering as he keeps pushing and pushing and- no mercy. Absolutely none at all. “Can feel you so deep inside ngh- I don’t think I can…” 
“No no no no no-” he’s panting into your open mouth. Fucking into your heavenly cunt in mindless, shallow little thrusts just to squeeze deeper inside. “Need this. Want this. Always did. God, fuck fuck fuck, you can do it-”
“But-”
God, Satoru can’t help but kiss you - to shut those cute lil’ whines up more than anything, he’s sure he’ll cum right there and right now if he didn’t. 
Because Satoru wasn’t any better. Body bowing into yours, eyes rolling to the back of his head, mouth falling into a delirious oh! as he finally bottoms out. Balls smacking your ass too hard, your pussy too tight, you too beautiful underneath him. 
Blindly, he reaches for the headboard - white-knuckling it so hard that it’s a wonder it doesn’t break. 
It does - and later you’ll find a pile of splinters behind the bed. It’s just that neither of you notice. Too high off the feeling of Satoru’s cock pushing inside you. You’re clawing at his back now, gasping for air. Letting him fold you in half to filthily lick away the tears pooling at your cheeks. 
“Shit- y’got this, my love. You gotta- ah- Breathe-” he can’t even speak properly, sharp tongue so heavy. Eyes glowing with such insanity as he rocks his hips harder into yours.
He was right - you needed to breathe. To finally wrap your head around the fact that this was Satoru - your best friend - the same one that binge-watches sappy rom-coms with you after every breakup. Every. Single. One. Somehow, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
Both of you were barely-lucid at this point. And he was out of control now.
Funny, how in all his dreams when you were screaming his name - Satoru was always suave, methodical, playing with your pretty pussy like a fine instrument. Right now, he was anything but. Sloppy - like he didn’t have enough time, never would, even in this room where time slowed.
“Don’t you run away.” he grunts at the way you’re so adorably torn between running away from his cock and bucking for more more more- “Waited twelve fucking years for this. N’ m’gonna take it.”
You almost sob at the pressure as he laces his fingers on top of your head to slide you impossibly deeper. Down, down, down. “S’too good, Toru. Wan’ more-”
“More.” Satoru breathes, more to himself than anything. Eyes widening almost comically, a fucked-out smile spreading all over his face. “Y’want more even when you’re filled to-” He traces an invisible line halfway down your tummy. “Here?”
“Yes.” you gasp as he reaches down to toy with your throbbing clit, drawing tight, frenzied little circles. Balls smacking your ass so painfully, thumb pressing down right where his tip was hitting your cervix - as if he used six eyes to see. “Always wanted more. Always have, Toru.”
And you swear you could see something physically snap inside Satoru. Because his eyes glaze over, grin dropping instantly from his face. 
If you weren’t so cockdrunk maybe you’d have caught the way the bedroom lights flicker, the one down the hallway bursting. 
“Always, huh?” he’s muttering, grip on your body tightening like a vice. “Wanted more like me?” Rocking into you so sloppily, cock twitching so painfully as he speeds up. Fingers just as desperate - as depraved as his hips.
And this time, he doesn’t even have to use six eyes to find that one spot. Knowing your body well enough to hit it over and over until you were sobbing. “More more more more- fuckin’ take it then.”
At this point you didn’t know whether Satoru was always this ruthless in bed or you’d just broken him. It felt so good that it was almost scary. And your delirious mind wandered into the thought that maybe the bed would break - and your bones to follow. 
Well, they would have if Satoru hadn’t been using reversed cursed technique. But you didn’t need to know that just yet. 
“Satoru-” you squeal as he only gets more erratic.  “I’m…”
“Close?” Satoru’s grunting, smacking his lips against your own.
It’s laughable, really, that muffled question - because Satoru knew you were close. Losing his fucking mind, actually, at how you were squeezing so hard around him. Balls squeezing so painfully right now, but he wanted you to cum first - needed you to cum first.
“Yeah, so close. Wan’ cum- Ah! Please-”
“Then cum. Fucking cum, wan’ed this so bad.” he’s babbling deliriously. Little sparks of lightning visible even to your glassy eyes, fingers humming with a dangerous little energy that stimulated you so good. “Yeah, yeah yeah yeah fucking cum, wanna hngh-”
And then you are. So sudden and hard that you don’t even realize it at first. Just that you’re seeing stars behind your eyes, blood roaring in your ears. Rocking your hips into Satoru’s like such a slut. 
Oh, if heaven was really then the part of Satoru that can still form coherent thoughts thinks this just might be it. 
Because only the sight of you creaming all around his swollen cock and he’s cumming and cumming so hard that it hurts. Thick, hot ropes of cum that he can’t seem to stop. Doesn’t want to stop, and God he thinks he could cum until you beg and beg and beg it’s too much. Until you’re yelling for-
“Mercy!” you moan, head spinning with how fucking overfilled your pussy was. “Please, Toru-”
Satoru lets out a slight gasp, “Mercy?” Chuckling so cruelly at your dazed nod, “No mercy, my love. None at all.”
And God, it was so fucking hard to look at him too - eyes half-lidded and miles away, flushed and looking like he was anywhere but laid out on a hospital bed just a few minutes ago. In fact, Satoru looked like he was in heaven on Earth as he only milked his painfully hard cock on your snug pussy.
Pretty. Always so fucking pretty. 
And he kept whispering that, over and over in your ear as you both ride out your highs. Oh how he loved you.
Your eyes fly open, and Satoru knew he’d said that out loud. Shit. But, well, with the way you were immediately pulling him to collapse into your arms, he thinks he really doesn’t mind.
“Love you, love you. Love you so much. Always did, always wanted to love you- to fuck you.” You barely even notice him marking down your neck, sharp canines digging into the flesh like he wanted to break something. Hard enough that you distinctly wondered whether he was out for blood. “To ruin you.”
It was oozing out of you, both Satoru’s cum - dribbling down your legs in thick globs, pooling on the overpriced sheets below - and his power. Jolts of electricity running down all the way from your poor, abused cunt to your hazy mind. 
“So do it.” The air was crackling - crackling with intensity and the smell of jujutsu. It was in your veins, in your words as you whisper, “Ruin me. You’re the- ngh- only- one f’me, Toru. Always was.”
The lights go out. All of them - all across Tokyo, in fact. Shining so bright that it was blinding, until they burst. The last thing you see are his eyes - electrified with blue lightning, burning into your brain. 
And then it’s black. 
---
“I’ll be back before ya know it, my love.” he whispers against your forehead, cooing at the way you stir sleepily. “Gotta pest to take care of.”
Taking down that curtain wasn’t the hard part, the hard part was actually fucking regaining his senses enough to do so. 
And now, all cleaned up and fucked to sleep on his bed, you were looking so unbearably delectable that it made some part of Satoru just want to stay behind this curtain. To forget the waiting sorcerers on the battlefield. Saving the world be damned.
Well, no matter, Satoru had time. He was the strongest, right? After all, how could he give you the world if there was no world to give?
“N’ when I’m back, m’gonna kiss ya to death till you go out with me. Till everyone knows you’re unmistakably mine.”
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A/N. GET IT - that unmistakable bit from the panel? 
Plagiarism not authorized.
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 5 days ago
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All I can do until we see what happens with this election is hope, distract myself, and try to get others to vote, because if I think too hard about it my anxiety and depression gets worse and the voice in the back of my head that tells me to hurt myself and go hide in the woods or something gets louder
#emma posts#I guess I could also try to make offerings as a way to cope#depression#anxiety#the voice in the back of my head that tells me to kill myself keeps getting more chatty#I don’t think I’d go that far though#my desire to do anything keeps getting weaker#I’m scared#I can only do this and think ‘wouldn’t it be funny if we had something else crazy in fandom on the 5th?’#I have a therapy appointment for the first time in months scheduled for Friday#when i scheduled it it was coincidental timing but this might be a good thing#I am also thinking about changing therapists if my long time one feels dismissive of my concerns#I think ‘maybe I should have paid a visit to my family this week actually’ and then I remember that one brother moved back in with#my parents again and I’m like ‘actually maybe it’s best if I keep some distance for a bit. I can still text my parents about stuff’#i don’t want to be scared of that brother and I don’t think he’d ever hit me or anything. but it’s hard to be around him sometimes#he just gets so angry and he won’t get treatment like the rest of us do#he even called my other brother a slur and said ‘he was being sensitive about it’ and I was torn between staying hidden and throwing hands#but he’s way bigger than me and that would have just exilated things#he yells so loud and slams doors and says things that hurt and scare me and I just want to hide away. it’s not good#he refuses treatment for his issues and insults the rest of us for getting it for various issues of our own and he falls for so much#propaganda shit that’s supposed to draw third party people into that conservative fascist bigotry shit#the rest of the family can have totally chill conversations with each other even about politics but he just lashes out and I freeze up like#a scared rabbit. it’s different when it’s brought into one of the places you feel safest#and it’s somehow even harder when it’s your little brother and not your weird uncle#my parents are democrats who are more left than the actual party and my other brother isn’t really into politics#my parents kinda encouraged us to develop our own opinions though and it’s lead to me being really far left and my other brother#being in a really weird position where he thinks he’s some outsider but keeps falling for republican stuff#I know I would get angry for some similar psychological reasons when I was younger before treatment and maturity. but I was 13!#he’s a tall athletic man in his mid twenties! it’s a bit different!#I can see what lead him there. but he’s just been worse about it and it’s scary
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cuteniarose · 13 days ago
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It’s almost 6 a.m and I can’t sleep because I’m being plagued by thoughts of The Latest OC
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#Jia is genuinely making me lose my mind#right now the aftermath interests me a bit more because I live for emotional whump and angst#just.. imagine being her parents#you beg for your daughter’s life and your plea is listened to. she’s released. having proved herself useless. you barely recognise her#she’s nothing like the upbeat and cheerful girl you raised who loved working in this palace. who loved her lady#she’s so thin. hollow cheeks and empty eyes. she barely reacts to anything but Lord Jusamah’s voice which makes her flinch#you’re afraid to even hug her in case she disappears like a ghost would. something is very very wrong with her#you remember the rumours that she was tortured for the information. she looks like she’s starving#it’s clear she was hurt. she wouldn’t act like this if she wasn’t. ​you’re scared to think of what is hidden beneath her clothes#you want to lunge at Lord Jusamah and strangle him with your bare hands. inflict everything he’s done to your daughter on him tenfold#but you can’t. he’s rich and you aren’t. he has power and you don’t. if you try.. none of you are seeing the sun ever again#you barely care. it would be worth it. but you have two other children to worry about. and Jia deserves her freedom#so all you can do is drop to your knees. press your forehead to the floor. and thank him for his kindness#you tell Jia that you’re taking her home. alertness returns to her for but a moment#‘home?’ her whisper sounds so sad. so broken. you can barely stand it#you rush home as fast as you can. she’s so skittish it hurts. she feels the sun on her face and doesn’t move for a good 10 minutes#you can’t bring yourself to say anything. one of you goes ahead to warn the family so the children won’t crowd her#you finally make it to your house and Jia looks at it as if it was a mirage. she touches the wall to ensure it’s real#the first thing you do is help her take a bath. the sight of her back fuels you with bloodlust. there’s no untouched spot on it#your sweet gentle girl was whipped until criss crossing scars covered every last inch. it must have been hell#you bandage her wounds and take her to eat. she gorges herself on it as if someone would take it away. some light returns to her eyes#she always had a good appetite. at least that didn’t change. after lunch you let her sleep in your own bed#instead of making her share with her siblings and cousins. she needs space. she passes out the second her head hits the pillow#you stay and keep watch. and when the first night terror occurs. you’re ready. her screams are impossibly loud#you wake her. calm her down and hold her hand as she falls back asleep. recovery won’t be an easy road#but you walk it anyway. and with time. she gets better. she returns to her old self. only some traces of that horror remain#she’s happy again. smiles a lot. helps out. plays with the younger kids. she’s the Jia you know and love#she has nightmares. her scars hurt. no one touches her back. she’s paranoid about food. but she’ll be okay. you’re sure of it#(I reached the tag limit again but at least I said all I had in mind. but I could probably ramble on about this for ages…)
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