#just the hand touch is so sweet
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You are perfect, every time.
#baldur's gate 3#gamingedit#bg3#bg3edit#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion romance#astarion x tav#bg3 patch 6#tavstarion#oc: maleane#maleane/astarion#ok ok ok i am starting to really really like this kiss#just the hand touch is so sweet#i almost posted this with just a base coloring#but last second decided to make it purple so tweaked everything for another hour sdfsdfsdf#patch 6 spoilers
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Late night scribbly again. I just like drawing face touches.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#been busy today packing orders and going through comms#Brain is just craving soft visuals again#so soft touches it is#Emmy being so sweet with a warm hand touching him#holding him gently#leaning into it and just lying on rook#before falling asleep in each others arms#soft thoughts tonight#I’m so eepy
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"You don't have to make stability for us. You are my stability. Any day with you, no matter how strange is ultimately... a good one."
Harlivy in Harley Quinn (2021) #43
#can we just talk about how amazing they are?#like come ooooon they are so sweet#ivy always being ready to fuck shit up for her girlie#and harley always talking about ivy#and them touching and holding hands and hugging and kissing#oh my gooooood#also harley's court outfit fucks so hard!#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#poison ivy#pamela isley#harlivy#harley quinn x poison ivy#dc comics#dc#comics
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IDK why but I want Niko to teach Edwin everything about modern culture. She's already starting on him with the pop culture and that just opened up so much avenues on what their bonding time looks like.
But also the idea of just Niko potentially giving Edwin culture shock.
#niko handing Edwin one of her BL mangas#starting him off slow and sweet#before she nudges him to the deepend#but also niko is just so sweet and its perfect with how she already helped nudged him to confessing#i just think she has the touch that edwin needs#admittedly i just love that dynamic they have#niko sasaki#edwin payne#dbd#dead boy detectives
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how deep must we cut to reach sensation? find it, bring it back to me
#blood#mine#jthm#nny#song is bitter for sweet by blaqk audio#tho the dialog on the picture itself is from the comic#i've found that phrasing compelling since i first read it#both as someone who makes OCs and as someone who loves taking unresolved plot elements and running with them#this wasnt supposed to look so Finished i just wanted to redo a picture i did once with my OC arden#he had a hand print scarred onto his back from the touch of a god of entropy to mark him as a disciple and i never keep that detail#mostly cuz it was for an RP group that has long since died but it is what it is yknow We Move
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I've always felt that it'd be Killua who initiates the first hug we see between him and Gon
#i have my reasons for this#i feel like i'm in the minority though... i know gon is honest and much more emotionally expressive#but he's not actually more tactile than killua#i... i actually do think that it's killua who initiates much of the contact between them (fistbumps and poking and hand on shoulder)#if i'm not mistaken anyways#and he's very tactile with alluka and nanika (carrying + hugs + handholding)#granted that's his sister(s) but still. killua is far from touch averse - his getting embarrassed is a cute trait to be sure#but i do think he'll get a bit better at accepting that kind of thing once he's had some time with alluka and nanika#a lot of that does come after all from his feelings of unworthiness - and now that his sisters need open affection after so long being alon#he's going to have to gain at least some comfort with giving and receiving love#gon and mito go for hugs either at the same time or mito initiates. gon hugs leorio in the scene right after he's revived#but idk idk i just feel like he won't be the first to initiate a hug with killua especially since i suspect he still feels quite guilty#i think it would show growth on both their parts. not to mention it'd be very sweet to have gon a bit blindsided + happily surprised#as he's the one typically honest and forthright with appreciation and compliments while killua is. not. lmao#i think he should receive a nice hug from his best friend. and then i think they would both know it's gonna be ok. :')#storyrambles#hunter x hunter#hxh#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#this is so sappy. what's wrong with me. this is what they do to me.#random thoughts
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#lemme barf a little in the tags but like. the way he doesnt notice anything until trent actually touches him#at that point he becomes aware of not only his surroundings and his friends but also his pain. see the hand going for his jaw and the wince#the minimal celebrations. how the best friends. who are known for hugging. only fist bump him. i'd expect this from hook#but not from chuck and trent too. also also the look they exchange behind ocs back? YEAH#and as someone pointed out oc came in with the backpack but left without it. i'd say thats normal he usually does leave with just the belt#but also. hes so fucking enthralled by that thing that he doesnt wanna hide it. he needs to carry it away in his hands himself#hes not right and its intriguing and hot tbh lmao#anyways thats all. im just thinking a lot right now mmmm#orange cassidy#trent berreta#rocky romero#hook#aew#all elite wrestling#aewedit#wrestlingedit#wrestling#night gifs#best friends#trent?#shitposter greg#sweet little clementine#(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine)#chuck taylor#my beloved#sweetest sweet boy
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METAL SONIC X CHAOS ZERO!!!
IN ALL THE CHARTS I COULD FIND!!
Some of the charts got repetitive, so i cropped it.
NOTES: there may be someee minor inconsitences as sometimes id change mind my across one chart to another.
If you want an expliantion for ANY of my choices here, please ask! I am starving for conversation about this relationship- so please please please ask my questions- or just tell me your own ideas! Idk! Communicate! Your words and thoughts are not dumb!! They are very important to me and must be shared!!!
Also, some more of my thoughts + notes after the cut:
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I think my favorite charts are the first two, since the first one was pretty thourghough and easy to get whilst also including intresting and unique questions to the relatio ship dynamic. the second one i added a bit of character interaction so its really cute, and thats practically why i like.
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I particularly like the touch chart, as i really had to consider wthe physicality of these two, and the custom model was fun to make (look they're even holding hands haha). It was a bit tricky considering i had to figure out what touches where welcomed and what weren't based on previous canonical interactions, and my own theories/speculations.
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Oh, to explian the "lends clothes" and "borrows/steals clothes", i always found the neat detail of Neo Metal Sonic's wardrobe possesing a kind of.. arm warmer/bell sleeve? As well as its pants(?) Being a bell bottom.
Without the belt/butt cape, it does make metal sonics limbs somehwhat resemble the sillouette of Chaos' body, so obviously- i just figured that Chaos, if he were to wear any clothing, would probably be stolen by Metal Sonic since it already seems to be fond of that particular look that Chaos naturally has.
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Oh, and Metal and Chaos being somewhat organized is due to thier jobs and enviornment they grew up in. Eggman, being the opposite of Sonics carefree, chaotic attitude, would likely prefer more cleaner, organized or "controlled" enviornments. Thus, i feel that Metal Sonic may have picked up a few tidying or cleaning habits that were a cause of eggman simply teaching or implimenting features in his bots to prefer the "clean up" of "dirty" or "messy" areas.
For chaos, i do recall reading something (perhaps on the chao wiki) of him purifying the Altars water and keeping it relatively clean from debries and such. Furthermore, having to be sole guardian of little children chao, the altar and the master emerald, requires a lot of responsibility and- if anyone has worked with children before- it can get very messy very quickly. So its mere speculation, but i do think Chaos would have picked up many cleaning habits as well, as well as cooking/harvesting skills due to him having to take care of large batches of critters.
Surprisingly, for a creature named "Chaos", the name only truely applies to the singular instance in which he is "Final Chaos" (as thats likely what the echidnas called him during and after that time.) Turns out, Chaos is way more controlled and responsible than chaotic and carefree.
So to segway, out of the two, Metal Sonic would be way more chaotic considering its nack for stirring up trouble (CD, Sonic Heroes, Chaotix.. ect) for the heroes, as well as it not really having major responsibilites outside of its purpose to "destroy sonic" and occasionally obey whatever task eggman requires of it.
Thus, is why in the driving promps, i title it "a speeder".
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To explain the "Cognito Egro Sum" (aka. I think therefore i am) and the "infinty symbol" for the ages, er.. Metal sonic is a robot, and Chaos is an immortal being. If your being technical with it, you can say they're both relatively young, considering Chaos chao can't age and are often stuck in the form they were hatched in- despite the fact that chao do infact change as they age-
One can consider the idea that Chaos, for all intensive purposes, looks and probably is pretty young- if we apply chao logic to him.
Though one will argue "but Chaos is ancient" which is true, but his case is similar to Shadow's as he was trapped in that Master emerald for... millions of years............. so, similarly to how shadow was stuck for 50 years yet remains a teenager both inside and out, Chaos- for whatever age he was before he got trapped, probably still thinks and acts like that, as well as Tikal. Except now they probably need a LOT of therapy.
^hence why i put chaos's sleeping habits as "sleeps poorly" and "sleeps to little". In hindsight, being trapped in a emerald for thousands of years, with your freind of who's father killed your entire* family and burned your house (altar) down and tried to steal your most precious item (master emerald) and being the girl whos stuck with your freind(?) who killed your entire bloodline and basically genocided your entire community- stuck with him for THOUSANDS OF YEARS- is.....is going to require a lot of therapy.
So y'know, bad sleeping problems. Also probably why i depict Chaos hugging a lot + being affectionate, since being deprived your community that is entirely reliant on the concept of "caring, loving, and nurturing one another" (cause.. the opposite of that means chao will basically die upon reincarnation), for thousands of years is... a good recipe for touch starvation and a need for attention.
^hence why chaos is also on the attention side of some charts.
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^ just conintuing off of that previous statement, i did move Chaos closer towards "extrovert" in the "extrovert or introvert" prompts, as since Chaos, unlike Metal Sonic, deals closely with many chao, and often is surrounded by a crowd of them, i do believe that Chaos would have to atleast gain some energy from social interaction in order to surivive that every day, without burning out.
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The whole "who talks more" thing is kind of funny because, technically, its metal sonic (see Sonic Heroes + Sonic Free riders) who has more lines than.. Chaos's total of zero!
Meaning that, if anything, the "he said no pickles" meme would probably mean that Metal Sonic would be at the counter whilst Chaos is sitting in the back.
Though, compared to MANY other characters, these two are practically dead-silent, and would most likely rely on non-verbal ways of affection than verbal.
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Oh and the "ethical v. Immoral thing" where i emphasized that chaos was "neutral" was because by compsring him to "chaos chao", theres a dark side, good guy side, and then neutral. Considering Chaos's history of amazingly goodwilled to horrendously incidous, one can conclude that he practically in the middle in terms of ethics or morality.
Metal sonic is definetly on the more immoral side, though i wouldnt put it all the way, as i do have considering enviornmental aspects to its behavior (such as well.. being a badnik, and being constantly exposed to eggman's immoral behaviors). So, other than like, unnesecarily abusing animal freinds in CD, and throwing a ship probably full of people at sonic (Sonic heroes) there aren't many instances in which Metal Sonic does something completely immoral and unjust- without any context regarding eggman ordering it too, or simply it just doing its job as a badnik.
However those actions are prettt bad on its own- though compared to... killing out an entire species... drowning thousands of people in a city and attempting to kill eggman with a giant laserbeam... and to whatever hyjinks eggman gets up too...
Its actions seem.. relatively small (though not obsolete.)
So like, theres not going to be many issues regarding "metal sonics gotta be a good guy"/ "i can fix him🥺" mentalities, since its kind of hard to do that, when you have a kill count of a 100+ whilst Metal Sonic is still on the "i'm needlessly harming animals, and threw a boat"...
Then again, i like to think the leiniency allows for them to work on themselves together, rather than tear eachother down or hate eachothers guts.
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Transgender - both for my headcannnon, but also a refrence to it literally going "i transformed myself with my own hands" and well, i cant resist a pun/play on words now can i?
Agender- chaos dont have.. genders.
However, i thought this would change when introduced to concept of feminine and masculine models of the ancients in frontiers, but looking at Chaos, he doesnt resemble either one very much (tbh, in Sonic Forces, his model actually looks more akin to the fem version, than the pointy and sharp masc ones) and looks more akin to that of the children, if anything.
Plus, being masculine or feminine isnt really and indicator of gender anyways.. so like..???
So what? Does Chaos, gender? NOPE! Chaos isn't an ancient (thats his ancestor) and is a mutated chao. Chaos are genderless, or atleast out of that particular binary.
If Tikal showed up one day and started calling Chaos a "he/him", its likely that Chaos could've just.. adopted that. Assigned pronouns by random. Amazing.
So agender, as i can't think of anything else.
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Sexuality -idk. Look, i dont consider whomth one likes. The knowledge of my characters, or other characters sexualites comes upon me in the way preists suddenly hear the words of their gods.
I dunno, until suddenly i know. Thats just how it is.
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Ending it here cause im hungrt and cant think of anything else to chat on.
#metal sonic#chaos 0#chaos zero#metal sonic x chaos 0#metaos#shipping chart#still obssesed with that touch chart btw#like i did not realize Metal Sonic had such head-pat energy untill now#i even added an extra' lighter green to indicate where the nirvana spots are#like considering i kind of just had to guess and speculate based on minor context clues- ESPECIALLY with Chaos-#i think i did an okay job with Metal?#but damn i didnt realize how much upper body touches between these two have effected my physce. like of COURSE they'd have opposite touch-#but just seeing that stark difference is so fascinating to me. like#the no no spots make sense because these are important assets to their body inorder for them to function properly. touch a brain is danger-#-ous and touching its inner jet engine wings incorrectly may break then and ground Metal Sonic (in bird logic- that equals to death!)#but like the hands and chest thing for chaos makes some sense considering he'd have to care for chao who may have to be picked up- or#even carried in his arms- of course he'd feel comfortable there. but metal sonic who is mostly orange- would only be accustomed to generall#negative or bad touches like punches- hits- the sweet kiss of concrete scratching every once of metal off its body...#with the only generally positive ones being for mantience by eggman- thus everything is a “depends”.#but the head- the head pats- that area is the one that gets the most positive attention- especially considering eggman in the mixture#due to being tall- hed have to settle for doing head pats to give it praise- which mightve made Metal Sonic associate his head with “good-#-touch“. whilst the opposit reind true for chaos- whos body is practically impenterable except for its head (particularly its brain).#so people would attack it from that particualr region#and the vunerability and lack of defense would cause him to associate that area with “bad touch”#fun stuff!! this was super fun!!!!!!
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Teddy Bear 🧸
“Sorry, kid, I don’t have a teddy bear, or I’d let you hold it while I take care of those wounds.”
Killua blinks.
“What? Don’t make fun of me, kid!”
Killua fiddles with his torn shorts.
“I-It’s not that…”
Killua sniffs.
“It’s just… I heard that’s only for the good kids… the ones that don’t misbehave…”
Read on ao3
#;windy’s stuff#gonkillu#gon x killua#hxh#hunter x hunter#leorio paladiknight#kurapika#gon#killua#IT HURTSSSSS SO MUCH#KI DESERVES THE WORLD MY HEART WAS ON THE FLOOR IN ACTUAL PIECES I NEEDED CUTE AND FLUFFY IN ORDER TO PUT IT BACK#KI DESERVES ALL THE STUFFIES AND ALL THE HOT CHOCO AND ALL THE PRETTY DRESSES AND OUTFITS AND THE WHOLE DAMM WORLD 😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧😭#KIS SO SWEET MY HEART ACHES 😭😭😭🤧🥺🥺🥺 him teasing Leorio but it also being soft ahhhhh his little giggles because his Knight Gon is there 🥺🥺😭#GONS SO CAREFUL WITH KI MY HEART AHNNNNNNN HE WANTS TO PUNCH A WALL BUT HE HOLDS BACK FOR KI 🤧🤧🤧🤧🥺🥺🥺#GONS SO PROTECTIVE OF KI WAHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH#HE DIDNT EVEN WANT LEORIO TOUCHING KI 😤😤😤🤧🤧🤧🤧#GONS THE BEST KNIGHT AHHHHHHH#LEORIOS THE BEST BIG BROTHER 🥺🥺🥺🥺#THEY ARE ALL SO CARING FOR KI AND ITS ALL I EVER WANTED AND NEEDED 🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧😤#Ki playing with Leorio's tie with his small hands has me sobbing on the floor#HES JUST A CUTE TINY PRINCESS OMG HE DESERVES SO MUCH MORE#Ki's laugh 🤧🤧🤧🤧#HIS LITTLE LAUGH LITERALLY HEALS WOUNDS OMG I JUST#SOBS#KIS SO SWEET I CANT MY HEART HHHHHHHHHHHH#EXPLODES INTO PIECES
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ALSO since it's winter and my innate need to be a nerd about music and browse music stores for new beautiful guitars I can never afford (3k custom order aahahahahahahah kill me cuz thats still cheap) is back I've been thinking.
Nr 1:
Gort strikes me as an organ girlie. But at the same time it would suit Durge much much more. Raphael lost his organ rights by being such a lenient little man at times. Like you play that instrument with your whole ass body. Big pipe organs are literally part of a house foundation. It's a massive and breathtaking instrument that's just absolutely insane and the tunes it produces are godly. It's also so inventive like, bro the instrument is a fucking house. Oppressive as hell. Thats Gort. That's just the mecha megalomaniac. But then its also positively divine and often related to faith. And its a lot of harmonies and shit mixed together like the Bhaalspawn r and it's rly just a blood sweat and tears kinda thing and it's just giving Durge vibes yk?
Nr 2:
This is probably exclusive to me but uh, modern Band AU whatever would have Gort play an e guitar and be capable of absolutely insane riffs and also probably frontman if we're honest while Durge plays classical guitar. And I have my reasons for believing that cuz not only r guitars awesome and very versatile instruments that can produce both melodies and chords by themselves the e guitar / classic mix also has this rly weird just durgetash dynamic. There are harmonies but there's also chaos and both are capable of being gentle and soft in their own ways but they're also played fundamentally different and usually take a different role but both are still very capable of breathtaking solos and I'm just being a fucking nerd on main rn and will shut up before I pull out my music theory power point.
#my only wish in life is to get to play a pipe organ#literally if i ever get to use one of those many pedals i can die happily#its such a fascinating and beautiful instrument#its so soft but also imposing and i just love it#also I'm not joking i spent way too much time looking at guitars and their accessories rn#somebody pls stop me#my babe just turned 10 and she's still in peak condition and i dont need another one#thats how it starts#thats how you end up with 10 of em#i did end up finding a pretty sweet black one with a golden ornamental design on the body#and its affordable too#but the necks colour is throwing me off and apparently the sound is shit....#and the one i know sounds absolutely wonderful sadly simply doesnt come with nice designs#nd customising a guitar is not smth i'd look forward too#esp the body#since that can fuck up the sound#like i loathe the design of my babe but also shes treated like a princess#im not even touching the strings myself and instead dragging her to a manufacturer#also weird fun fact about classic guitarists#they'll have long nails on one hand and short nails on the other#it makes finger picking and gripping a lot easier#okay i'll shut up now im becoming too much of a nerd
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#that's so crazy someone filmed this video of me and my husband having this private moment that's wild..#oh to be his red haired girl. gd#james spader#alan shore#boston legal#*#favorite#I love these so much partly bc I've come around on lorraine and partly bc they are not even dating here lollll he is just. Like That#inimitable romantic gentleman. gentle hands his fingers softly drumming against her wrist his breath on her cheek#he's so happy to hold and be held. to guide and protect and be stable and needed#he couldn't even speak to her at the start couldn't control himself at all and now this!#a contrast from the first holiday party in blegal when he's such a petulant pain in the ass. still sexy ofc. just incessantly lecherous#he's mellowed a bit just a tiny bit. matured just a shiver. he's found a place to belong and be himself#a lot of stress and pressure is coming to a head he's got a lot of serious things on his plate. but he can handle them all#umm where was I even going with this. my sweet gorgeous man. touching his chest and lips and the back of his pretty neck while dancing#i love u allie bear
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“He sat next to me, switching between holding my hand and petting my hair; he was so sweet and attentive… we were all having a great time but it was getting late. I was surprised when Elvis told everyone to go down the hall to Joe’s room to continue the party. He whispered to me, ‘I want you to stay here with me’. He then took my hand and we walked out on the balcony and he kissed me”
“I couldn’t help opening my eyes for a split second, saying to myself, Oh my God, I’m kissing Elvis Presley. We stayed there for a while just kissing and talking before he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. He kissed me as he took off all his clothes, his body was muscular and firm in all the right places. He carefully removed my dress and pulled me down on the bed. He was a great kisser and an incredible lover. Just unbelievably wonderful…”
(excerpt from “Centerfolds” by Charlotte Kemp)
#WHY ISNT HE PLAYING WITH MY HAIR AND HOLDING MY HAND#he’s sweet and attentive yall 😭#physical touch was definitely his love language#can you imagine him just absentmindedly playing with your hair or twiddling your fingers while in conversation#I need it so badlyy#more excerpts to come about these two <3#vicki peters#elvis presley#elvis#elvisaaronpresley#elvis book excerpts#elvis history#elvis fans#70s#70s elvis
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SICK. "right person, wrong time."
#SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK.#my HANDS are shaking.#what the fuck.#lolaa.txt#sorry 4 freakoutposting . nobody can know about this so i have nowhere else to say it all.#WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE.#RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME. WHY IS IT WRONG TIME.#WHY AM I RIGHT PERSON.#IM RIGHT PERSON.#WHAT. WHAT#HE TALKED ABOUT ME TO HIS FRIENDS. AND HES SO TOTALLY HONEST#I WAS FULLY LAYING ON HIS CHEST AND HE SAYS 'ok i do have to turn on the ac . ' AND SORT OF HALF LAUGHED SMILED AT ME#HE WAS BLUSHING .#HE KISSED ME.#AND IT WAS MESSY AND AWKWARD AND VERY SIDEWAYS BUT HE KISSED ME#AGAIN AND AGAIN. AND HE KEPT SMILING.#AND HE DIDNT WANT ME TO LEAVE BUT HE DIDNT WANT ME TO BE IN TROUBLE#i was 2 hours late getting home. AUHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHGHIGHSEOIFHSEFOUESHFESJKKMNN#FUCKKK. I HAVE TO SEE HIM TOMORROW. IN A SCHOOL SETTING.#AND I CANT TELL ANY OF MY FRIENDS?????????#only one person knows and i swore her to secrecy because she wanted us to get together really bad.#FUCK but like . we cant. we cant do it right person WRONG TIME#but also can we just go back to being friends. do i really want to forget? it was so comfy.#FUCK.#FUCKKKKKK . AND CAM.#cam is so so sweet. light of my life cam. talented and artistic and handsome cam.#but. cam doesnt watch movies. or make mixtapes. or kiss me in the front seat of their car because our noses touched when we laughed#AGAIN SORRY. NORMAL. i need to tell my parents about the movie (tradition that they hear all about it) and NOT bring any of this up#i will be dodging the allegations the whole time. NOT EVERYONE GETS SOMEONE PREGNANT IN HIGH SCHOOL FATHER.#so there is that.
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I LOVE DRAWING TENDER THINGS I LOVE DRAWING JUST PEOPLE COMFORTABLE WITH EACHOTEHR I LOVE THE TENDERNESS OF CUDDLING WITH A PERSON U HOLD DEAR THE LITTLE GIGGLES AND LAUGHTERS THAT COME WITH THAT, THE STUPID INSIDE JOKES AND NONSENSE I LOVE WHEN PHYSICAL AFFECTION LOVE LANGUAGE
#I LOVE PHYSICAL AFFECTION SO MUCH#YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA#I LOVE IT#ITS SO SILLY#AND SO SWEET#I WAS RAISED WITH PHYSICAL AFFECTION AS A MAIN LOVE LANGUAGE#AND ITS STILL A MUST TO CUDDLE BEFORE BED W MY MOM#I LOVE HUGGING AND KISSING AND HOLDING HANDS WITH MY FRIENDS#TO SHOW THEM HOW MUCH THEY MEAN#JUST LEANING ON THEIR SHOULDER#OR TOUCHING ARMS#OR HUGGING THEM FROM BEHIND#I LOVE SHOWING MY LOVE WITH SIMPLE TOUCHES#NO WORDS NEEDED
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People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.
#ahahahaha anyways. ranty time in the tags wheeee#paranoia has been terrible today. everyones mood is off. everyones acting different. everyones acting colder. they hate me im sure of it#and all this stuff i want to be happy i just know is gonna be ruined or left with tainted memories now and its my fault#but maybe its not because why the fuck cant you be consistent. why is it so touch and go#i support ppl through the worst parts of their lives and when i need the support nobody is there#i will literally take time off work to be with someone if theyre having a hard time but me? cant even afford more than three words#im sick of being told i love you and finding no proof outside empty words. i sure as hell dont feel fucking loved. everyone is lying#it's just like my ex. he smothered me in love to cover up the major lack of actually viable love#empty words make me sick to my stomach now. everyones a fucking liar and i dont get why the wont just tell me the truth!#if im such a burden then just fucking say it! if im horrible to be around tell me! how am i supposed to every grow if nobody tells me#i just wanna be loved and not unconditionally. i want to be loved by choice. i want someone to choose me despite everything#i want someone to love me to every little detail and hold my hand even when im at my lowest and just UNDERSTAND#i want someone to love me wholeheartedly and think about me as much i do them. i want the little gestures and the sweet things i do#but here i am. always the one carrying everything and putting in all the effort. when was the last time someone really liked me.#when was the last time i existed in someone elses head. when was the last time someone cared enough to check on me. to do something?#this savior mentality is gonna kill me but im only being straightforward when i say i cannot pull myself from this alone. i am so weak#and god im fucking tired#spent at least two hours straight sobbing while regressed because even as a kid i cant outrun this#and im just getting sicker. i cant sleep. cant eat. cant stay warm. feel like im slowly fading away#and nobody even cares. its so fucking selfish and childish but my whole life ive screamed for help and nobody has seen me#do i have to become another number in the statistics for you to care? or would you even care when i die?#because at this rate i dont even need to try. my heart hasn't slowed in three days. i think i really am dying#sad thoughts#vent blog#sad blogging#vent#vent post#venting#actually mentally ill#actually traumatized
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Oh god it's been so long since I've drawn henry and victor kissing i can slowly feel my insides rotting
#I've been drawing them just not kissing#haven't been confident in my art as of late❌❌❌#though im drawing victor on a counter or something and henry standing in between his legs and they're touching foreheads and i need themDEAD#henry is also resting his hand on victors thigh#in a nonsexual way all my art is nonsexual just uhh sweet and intimate:3#i need you guys to see this drawing so bad but its just .........not done#FUCK#i need them to be real RIGHT NOW#frankenstein#victor frankenstein#henry clerval#clervalstein#haha its been so long fnaf refrence
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