#just some evening thoughts I had
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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I think I made some of you guys a little sad with my last post, so you can have some happy aftermath twins before part 2, as a treat ā¤ļø
#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#gravity falls fanart#stan pines#stanley pines#grunkle stan#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#stan twins#i need to find a gravity falls discord or smth- it's basically a ritual for me with every fandom#i tried to find some on the internet but they're so... rude?? maybe it's just me but i dont think#openly cussing people out and insulting the people who want to leave the server is a very āpositive and openā server they claimed to be#which was so crazy because Ive never seen a discord server be like that?? like usually they're pretty chill but these ones like actively#called people bitches and lame assholes after they left the server like CHILL my man- they're allowed to Not stay#it wasnt even just one- I had to go through like 4 to 5 different GF servers and they were all like that- it was CRAZY#anyways!! that was just me rambling it was just such a weird experience for me#GOD I am PLAGUED by thoughts of this AU
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Leo learns something about himself š³ļøāā§ļø
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall heās mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of āThe Talkā.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if youāre wondering why thereās no backgrounds thatās because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I donāt know if itās obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#āhow would Leo NOT knowāā he had an inkling but never thought much of it because heās a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah thatās splinterās hand at the end there I just KNOW heād want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time Iāve drawn Draxum and man heās kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raphās paper and look at his babyās selfās photo
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I hope you take this as the compliment it is intended to be, but you strike the same chord of irreverence-as-love, jokes-to-showcase-sencerity that I get from Chuck Tingle, and I adore both of you.
You have bestowed the greatest honour upon me.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangij#wei wuxian#digital art#ask#Thank you very much; I do take it as the compliment you intended it to be B*)#Mr. Tingle is a legend in both grindset and vibes. To be even 0.1% striking a similar chord is an aspiration of mine.#I also want to honour the effort I put into this parody book cover. Which was a *lot* more than one would think.#Covers were analyzed. I did research and took notes. I learned how to download fonts. 4 different programs were used.#This file is also poster sized (A4 dimensions)! I thought It would make the joke funnier for some reason.#Chuck Tingle's style is very iconic and fun to replicate. Despite the time intensive labour - I had a blast making this!#I admit to skimming most of the chapter this is based off of just to fact check a few details but boy did I learn things.#Wei Wuxian canonically has CAKE. Tiny waist and a fat ass.#I took several more notes but I will warn you now that I can't *not* find smut writing to be very funny.#This was pure chaos. Unbridled chaos. WWX really did shove a sword up his ass to bully dream-LWJ.#The need to be a little shit trumps saftey I guess.#There is a 99.9% chance I will not cover the extras so this is likely all the fans of those chapters will get from PD-MDZS.
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#evidence of life#:3<3#ą»ź°ą¾ą½²āøāø/ \āøź±ą¾ą½²į ā¦nun era overā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.hi guys i fell in love yes me i know right yes this oleta : )#probably will [ACTUALLY] be active yk i had to secure the bag and try to make sure the family will love me despite : D#anyways have a good summer yall !#wowwwwwwwww people who have been here since day one know how touch repulsed i was and how i took years to even be okay with kissing irl lol#deadass thought iād just be kissing girls this summer but right now iām in bed with a man and our biological son šāā¬ <3#life comes at you fast#100#btw this is my edit like the original didnāt look like this this is the doomer gf version#1k#edit: omggg if you donāt know me the ājust kissing girlsā might read wrong im just primarily attracted to women and i assumed my big step#into intimacy would be kissing [girls] aka not literally falling in love with some guy who is currently wrapped around me and snoring <33
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
#oughhhhhhh#this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol#i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content#and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock#but thereās just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once#and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion#i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like#a handful of times at best#it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away#(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts#musing about fandoms past as well#that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore#also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)
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For decades, the blank vision that Iudex Neuvillette wears near his heart has been subject to much discussion in Fontaine. Nobody remembers who it had once belonged to or why the ancient dragon protected it so jealously. It is said that if the Chief Justice would to stare at it for a long while, it would be sure to rain right after. Oh, how beloved that person must've been.
#genshin impact#genshin fanart#neuvillette#visions#wriolette#wriollette#neuvithesley#myart#sorry for the short drabble?#kasndkansd i have emotions over a simple thought i had#the tragedy for someone eternal to fall for someone who's here for only a brief moment eats away at me hhhh#it started with a funny thought of IF neuvillette needs to carry a fake vision for some reason after laughing at the archons for it#and then i remembered how people like kazuha would hold onto their loved one's masterless vision after they died#one thing led to another and now we have some wriolette angst with neuvillette cherishing wrio's masterless vision#after his inevitable passing#and idk if its just the traveller or if its even canon#but i like to think that neuv being a sovereign he would be able to hear the ambition of one's vision and maybe just maybe#he can use wrio's masterless vision to listen to his voice albeit ever so softly
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So much of Garak as a person starts to make sense once you know his childhood was a fucking gothic novel. His main playground was a graveyard and he'd play pretend by perfoming improv eulogies to an imagined audience. For a long time his main touchstone for most important figures from recent history is 'oh yeah I know about that guy my dad buried him. great flower arrangements for that one'. He finds out later his 'parents' are actually a brother and sister who had to get married to avoid the utter shame and social devastation of having a child born out of wedlock, and they live in the basement of his biological father's house. (the madwoman in the attic vs. the tiny elim in the basement.) His biological father calls himself his uncle and locks him in a closet whenever he fails to live up to his insane and unpredictable expectations and everyone just has to act like that's normal and expected, and his will hangs over everything at all times, unseen but always felt keener than anything else. The father who actually raised him grows the world's most beautiful (and as it turns out, most poisonous) orchids and keeps the mask of a god hidden in a box in his work shed. Everyone in the house is choking down secrets like it's the only air they know how to breathe anymore.
What I'm saying is that right from the get-go this guy never had the faintest shot at turning out normal, so I'm glad that by middle age he's found a way to get a bit silly with it as he continues to be deeply deeply not normal about anything ever <3
#guess who's reading a stitch in time!#star trek ds9#elim garak#a stitch in time#star trek#ds9#I will make a monster post of asit thoughts eventually but just. jesus christ!!! what a start in life lmao#tolan and tain seem to have been... well not exactly friends probably but to have had some connection beforehand#did tain know him or mila first??? how was mila and tolan's sibling status presumably not known publicly?#at what point during all of that did tain start to have sex with tolan's sister. the more you think about it the more fucked it gets lol#under the circumstances... shoutout to tolan and mila for not leaving him somehow even more fucked up interpersonally than he is#and no thanks to tain for anything ever I hate him so much
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Soft Yoongi for @yooboobies ā”
[ video source cr. 0613data ]
#bts gif#btsgif#yoongi gif#bts#bangtan#suga#yoongi#bts suga#min yoongi#yoongiedit#btsedit#bangtanedit#dailybts#usersky#raplineuser#annietrack#useremmeline#userdimple#userpat#usermizuoka#darling rĆ©ka! you made an amazing set for me so I thought I should make something for you too š#this is just a little set for you with soft and delicate yoongi that I made as soon as I had some free time#I have an idea for another one and I want to do it later#I'm so scared to post this set! I think it's not good enough#I hope you will like it even just a little bit! š„ŗ#my bangtan gifs ā”
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Kipperlily..?
#d20#fantasy high#fhjy#d20 fhjy#kipperlily copperkettle#heart <3#she is just a girl#a girl who is very mad#part of me is slightly disappointed she isnt the big bad even thought i like knew it from the start#like the porter reveal was obviously so cool but imagine ā¦ the big evil of the season is just a mean teen girl#kipperlily you are so special to me ill miss you#Also I was inspired by some art of her id seen that was so cool I had to draw something !!! I love doing silhouettes
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im in agony. a little self indulgent but I think wyll deserves to be told he's loved and have a small breakdown about it
#bg3#wyll ravengard#tav#wyll x tav#baldur's gate 3#voltaical ocs#bishop#finally downloaded one (1) font bc i had too much dialog for this#i dont even hate ulder taht much i just thing wyll should talk about ANY complicated feelings he has about him.#also the way wyll always seems to be quoting him like pls what are YOUR THOUGHTS not some cryptic thing your father told you 10 years ago#and rlly if you take the way wyll describes the situation as hard truth#ALL the justification Ulder had for banishing his son#are conclusions WYLL has come to on his OWN since ulder only said āone word to himā#LIKE his relationship with his father could have been SO interesting but wyll isnāt allowed to have ANY introspection at all#so he just apologizes and wyll continues to try and please him
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I feel like something that should have been explored more in Arcane is that despite the dangers and pretty much horrific conditions, Zaun children seemingly grow up a lot more caring and have a larger understanding of family in comparison to Piltover children. And if such a reflection of the real world in a sense.
The kids of Zaun seemingly grow up with a lot more adult support. Ekko is easily welcomed under Benzoās wings. Vander adopts 4 kids (two of which we learn he knew of before their parents death, two of which we canāt be sure of). Silco, despite all what happened, and his ulterior motives, shows no problem adopting Powder/Jinx. In the alternate universe it seems as though heās still played a part in the kids lives. Jinx adopts Isha easily and Sevika cares for her as well. Hell, even Mr. War Crimes Against Humanity does well with little Viktor (until ya know, the animal abuse).
Hell, up until Vander dies (the first time) there seems to be a large understanding of if thereās an orphan or a kid in need of guidance, take them in! (And certainly donāt inform them of your plans to turn a giant pink salamander into drugs and be confused when a nine year old doesnāt understand). If a kid wants to be your apprentice, let them! For the most part, until things all went wrong in the end of act 1 of season 1, the worst parts of Zaun seem pretty typical for any city in poverty.
Match that with what we see with how Caitlyn and Jayce grow up. Caitlyn is given adult support, yes, and itās clearly a good adult mentor, but itās not entirely by her choice. Itās been chosen for her. Sheās safe, but thereās a lack of freedom of choice. Meanwhile, when Jayce gets older, and that same accident in Act 1 happens, the family that supported him and his mom turns their backs. His own mom doesnāt support him either, because sheās afraid of what heās talking about, but also because heās damming them to being outcasts.
Conversely, Vander is more than willing to take the fall for what Claggor, Milo, Vi and Powder did. Heās willing to go to prison for a long time, in order for them to have a better future. Despite Viās best efforts, heās not going to listen to her (she is just a kid) and heās not letting his family go down and get hurt.
Meanwhile, a man who grew up in this mentality, where thereās a wide sense of family support from people who arenāt your biological family, is the one to go to Jayce, a stranger, and tells him he believes in him. Itās why itās such a shock to Jayce; his own family and family friends denied him. They didnāt support him.
I think thatās what makes all the difference. Piltover and Zaun have wildly different understandings of family and forgiveness. For Piltover, it shuns and damns the lives of those who upset the balance. For Zaun, it provides safety and never ending understanding.
Just. Iām thinking.
#arcane#arcane season 1#I didnāt mean to make this a jayvik thing it just happened#is this where I admit I donāt care Cassandra died#oops she was a baddie and I feel bad for cait but go get your trauma glow up girl#go get some character development#sorry but Cassandra didnāt give a shit about Jayce until it turns out he really did have something#and when it came time she only voted for Zaun independence and wasnāt even the first or second mind you#to vote to agree#hell despite possibly knowing Viktor for 7+ years and knowing how much Jayce cares for him#and how important he was to hextech#she did not even support it until last minute and then boom#sorry to cait love you girl but your mom was giving go girl give us nothing#Cassandra kiramman hate#thatās fun tag for someone who barely had screen time#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#caitlyn kiramman#I love Caitlyn donāt think any differently I forgive her for her crimes#listen if I can ignore Viktorās assimilation plots I can ignore her war crimes#Iām a forgiving woman#arcane thoughts
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LOOK AT THE SILLIES!! LOOK AT THEM!!!
#had to draw some werewolf stan for halloween#I don't even celebrate halloween#AND SELKIE STAN!!#I can't get the thought of the stan twins selkie au my brain cooked up#I just like selkies a lot they bring such a nice specific flavour of angst#gravity falls#gravity falls au#I guess? since werewolves and vampires#stanley pines#stan pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#stanford pines#baby ford is just so adorable
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The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.
(for @frummpets)
#SVSSS#Shen yuan#shang qinghua#cumplane#Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case.#Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two.#The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it.#Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't.#These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin#They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too.#And sloppy hate makeouts <3#Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle!#You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy!#Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times!#I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking!#Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!
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So.
Act 5, huh?
Oh, and that.
"You can start breakdown now."
Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.
So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)
What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.
The beans. Sleeping beans.
Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.
Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.
I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things
Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#siffrin isat#isat loop#in stars and time#I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho#Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5#Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist#But I had to while playing so I did#So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements#One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too#I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it#Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed#From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun#Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night#I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with#And not overdoing it#Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time#It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that
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