#just ignore how inconsistent i am with everything actually

[fossilizedhysterics]

sanders art dump bc people seemed to like the forever weed post 🫶 mostly just funnies i like never draw serious shit

[wispered-dream]

:T

'I was raised/abused by people who used their illness as an excuse to be horrific towards others and said I wasnt ALLOWED to question it (because then I'd be Obstinate, and go to hell)'

and 'then I was abused by someone who used their illness as an excuse to be horrific towards others and said I wasn't ALLOWED to question it (because then I'd be a Bigot, and everyone will hate me when I tell them)'

Sure does explain so much about me.

Turns out:

- Didn't go to Hell for being Obstinate

- Extended family laughed and high fived me for joining the 'canceled by XYZ' club

So while I am perhaps oversensitized to "abusing the good will/sympathy of others"

I see that those who do this are in the real hell.

And I've seen how it comes crashing down so so SO slowly.

Abusing the sympathy of others results in people who are wary of extending that sympathy ever again. It's a net crueler world, no matter how much you say "NO NO ONE WOULD EVER DO THAT!"

They do, people take advantage of good will/sympathy. Especially when you can exploit that sympathy for control.

People do it without realizing it too, and enabling that only makes it worse. Protecting the 'abuser'/abuser in the name of "we gotta say it never happens to immanetize the eschaton!" is its own Cruelty.

You're gonna damn each other if you put yourself in a place where people are too fearful to tell you you're being unfair. Claiming '-ism' like a YuGiOh trap card [especially to people who are victimized by that -ism, RIP] is a fantastic way to do that.

People learn to ignore the ableism accusations or treat it like a joke. And it's not JUST bigotry, as neat of a solution as it sounds. Someone comes out with a Caard of all their mental illnesses and I'm asking myself 'why' not because GRRR HATE MENTALLY ILL, but because there is still a motivation there.

'If you ask why someone would do that you're a bigot!' okay so are they trying to establish that they want special treatment or needs. I am excessively empathetic to that.

But it's not 'I forget about messages sometimes [And if you werent mentally ill it'd OBVIOUSLY be because you just dont care?*] or might infodump [on nerd websites? How dare you!*]', it's "Here's the disorder I say I have according to the description I give of it, if it's contrary to any knowledge, experience, or literature on the subject it's because you're a bigot."

Personally I just try to treat everyone assuming they COULD be ill, I find everyone could use kindness. I think that's a better model, but the neurodivergent are uniquely suffering or whatever.

"It's not that I want special treatment, I just want to be the same as everyone else gets to be" You are imagining an ideal that does not exist. Even the fabled Neurotypicals are deserving of things like Patience.

See to me it looks like you're only willing to offer those kind of things to people who will tell you their psychiatric histories. My experience with people who have done the caard thing has so regularly been such! Whereas my experience with people who have severe illness [a majority of my friends] are much more *example* or *event* focused.

[dandylovesturtles]

Made myself emotional over the “Leo and Donnie chose to be twins” headcanon.

———

“By the way, it’s Leo and Donnie’s birthday next Thursday. You’re coming, right?”

Draxum looked up from his work organizing next week’s lunch schedule to look at Michelangelo, sitting on the counter and swinging his feet. Celebrating individual birthdays wasn’t a thing that the yokai did, but Draxum had been forced to accept that the boys could not be dissuaded from this human tradition. He’d been to two birthday parties now, for Michelangelo and Raphael respectively, eating cake and presenting them with some small trinket he purchased.

He’d known that he would have to go to more birthday parties at some point. But he wasn’t expecting two at once.

“Why on the same day? I can’t imagine the blue one wanting to share.” Actually, he couldn’t imagine Donatello wanting to share, either.

“Oh,” said Michelangelo with a laugh. “That’s ‘cause they’re twins!”

Draxum stared at him. “Twins? What kind of nonsense is that?”

Mikey tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“They’re entirely different species, for starters,” Draxum pointed out.

“I mean, we all are, but we’re still brothers.”

“Yes, by virtue of your shared DNA donor and the circumstances of your raising.” Draxum waved that off. “But “twins” refers to a situation where two children are born at once, especially as the result of a split of a fertilized egg. Which is absolutely impossible in the case of Leonardo and Donatello. Even if I were to be charitable and simply consider them “twins” for having the same hatch day, I can tell you they do not.”

“Uh, okay,” said Michelangelo, unimpressed. “But they’ve always been twins, so I don’t think it matters to them.”

“Why not? I would think it would matter to Donatello especially, since he claims to be scientifically minded.”

Michelangelo laughed. “Not everything is about science, Barry. Not even to Donnie.”

“Then his decisions about when to apply science and when not to are inconsistent and confusing.”

“Well, it’s their birthday, so they get to pick.”

“I am certain that is not how birthdays work.”

“It’s how it works for us!” Michelangelo slipped off the counter. “We’ll see you on Thursday, right? It’ll mean a lot to them if you come!”

Draxum was fairly sure Leonardo in particular would prefer he didn’t, but that didn’t matter. Now he had a mission: he had to correct this strange incongruence.

“Yes, I will be there.”

“Yay!” cheered Michelangelo. “Okay, see ya Dad!”

He squeezed Draxum around the waist on his way out. Draxum was finding he didn’t mind that as much as he used to.

———

Leonardo and Donatello’s party was just as loud and obnoxious as the other two. Blue and purple decorations covered every inch of the old subway station, strange music blared from unseen speakers, and a horrendous amount of junk food was spread out over a table. It was the same group of people present today as there ever was, the eclectic mix of humans and yokai that the boys considered family, but it felt like a crowd three times the size with the amount of noise being made.

Draxum stood off on his own for most of it, his slim birthday present already delivered to the table stacked with gifts. He’d been a little shocked when Donatello and then Leonardo came by to say hello, since he’d been prepared to be ignored by both of them. It was… nice, maybe, that they did that. Even if Leonardo just wanted to make jokes at his expense.

For most of the party, the two birthday boys seemed to be competing with each other for attention. In fact, the longer he took it all in, the whole affair seemed like a clash of ideas. The purple decorations were neat and tidy, geometric patterns and hard angles. The blue decorations were whimsical, uncoordinated, and haphazard, and there were places it seemed someone had deliberately covered up some of the purple with the blue. Leonardo wanted to play rock music and Donatello wanted to play techno. The cake was a mess because they’d both requested different themes for the decorations. There were arguments between the two of them every few minutes, and according to the human girl April this was “typical behavior.”

But why? They weren’t really twins. They didn’t have to share this day.

Hopefully Draxum’s plan would fix all this nonsense.

When it was time for gifts, Leonardo loudly declared that he was going first, sparking an argument. They squabbled for a bit before agreeing to play rock-paper-scissors, which was apparently what they did every year.

Leonardo won the game and celebrated obnoxiously while Donatello scowled at him. Then he gestured at the gift table - which Draxum, in his efforts to stay out of the main throng, was closest to.

“Hey, Barry! Grab me a gift! Make it a good one.”

Draxum sighed but reached over to take one of the blue packages, checking the tag to make sure it was for Leonardo. “This one is… to Leo from Donnie,” he read.

“Oh no, not that one. Our presents to each other are always last.”

“Because they always get sappy about it,” said April with a laugh.

“Do not!” yelled Leonardo at the same time Donatello hissed, “You take that back!”

“Uh, yeah you do, and you know I’m right.”

Draxum ignored the petty argument to look back at the gift table. If they weren’t going to be satisfied with his choice, he might as well give them his own gift.

He lifted it, in its sensible brown packaging, off the table and handed it over.

“Why not start with this? It’s to both of you from me.”

“Both of us at once?” asked Leonardo. “Oh man, you’re throwing off our whole system, Barry.”

“Yes, but he’s giving it to you,” Donatello pointed out, “which means my turn is still next.”

“Uh, no, if it’s for both of us then it counts for both of us, which means it comes back around to me!”

“Ooooh no, you do not get to loophole your way into opening two presents in a row-“

“Ahem!” Draxum loudly cleared his throat, getting their attention. “Would you please just open it?”

“Yikes,” said Leonardo. “Touchy.”

“Some people just don’t understand the sanctity of opening birthday gifts,” said Donatello with a sniff. But he leaned in to watch as Leonardo tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box.

They were both silent for a moment, staring at it. Then Leonardo said, “Uh, no offense, Barry, but what is this?”

“It’s a… scientific study on how twins are formed during the gestational period,” said Donatello, pulling the paper clipped thesis from the box. “Oh, there are more in here… Also about twins.”

“Uh…” Leonardo blinked at it, clearly bewildered. Well, he was always a bit slow. “Thanks…? I think?”

“Not that I don’t appreciate the scientific literature,” said Donatello, “but this isn’t really my area of study and Leo does better with training manuals and textbooks than research papers.” He looked up at Draxum. “Is there something about this we aren’t getting?”

“Yes there is,” said Draxum, sweeping his hand around at the entire party. “I am here to correct your mistaken assumption that you are twins.”

The room fell silent. Donatello set the paper back in the box, staring at him. Leonardo’s brow creased in anger.

“We are twins, though,” he said, setting the box aside like it was burning him.

“No, you are not. There is simply no way that the two of you could be twins. It is biologically impossible.”

“You think that I’m so stupid I don’t know that?” Donatello demanded, getting up from the chair he was sitting in. “Are you doubting my intelligence?”

“Yes, if you honestly think you are twins with him, then I am.”

“Uhhh, Draxum,” said Michelangelo quickly, stepping between him and the now furious Donatello, “this was a… funny joke, but you can stop now-“

“This is not a joke. I am simply explaining the facts.”

“Yeah, well,” now Leonardo was on his feet, too, “the facts are that me and Donnie are twins. Always have been, always will be.”

“You are not,” Draxum insisted. “And given what I have seen here today, I’d think you’d both be relieved, since you clearly don’t enjoy being twins!”

Both boys looked like they’d just been slapped in the face. The rest of the room had gone completely silent, like everyone was collectively holding their breath.

Donatello broke first, turning on his heel and marching out of the room, his hands balled into fists and his shoulders hunched up as high as they could go. “Dee!” called Leonardo, and then he was scurrying off after him. There was the sound of a heavy door slamming, then silence.

It didn’t last long.

“Draxum!” roared the rat, actually getting up from his chair to get in Draxum’s face. “You come in here and upset my boys on their own birthday!?”

“Seriously not cool, Drax,” said the human April. Cassandra shook her head in shared disappointment behind her.

Draxum pushed Lou Jitsu back, scowling at his accusers. “I was only explaining reality! This is really the rat’s fault for letting their delusion go on so long.”

“Delusion!?”

“Barry!”

“Rat!?”

“Ooookay,” said Raphael suddenly, stepping his way into the middle of the fray and starting to herd Draxum back toward the exit. “That’s enough of that for now.”

“I am simply trying to explain-“

“Trust me, hoss, you wanna step away from this one,” said Raphael, and his tone was angry but surprisingly measured. “Come on.”

They retreated to the sewer tunnels outside the subway station. The smell was much worse out here, and Draxum wrinkled his nose.

“Alright.” Raphael heaved a sigh, folding his arms. “So here’s the deal. Mikey likes you, and I guess I kinda do too, so I’m gonna try to help you before you completely torpedo your chances with the rest of the guys. Which, you kinda did already, but maybe we can turn it around.”

“I still don’t understand why they’re so upset,” said Draxum. “Surely it was obvious they aren’t twins.”

“Uh, yeah, they know they aren’t twins by bio-whatever,” agreed Raphael. “They ain’t stupid.”

“Hmm.” Draxum turned up his nose. “Donatello isn’t stupid, maybe.”

“Leo ain’t stupid, either, he just pretends like it.” Raphael pinched his brow. “Listen, that isn’t the point - the point is they already know they didn’t come from the same egg or hatch the same day or whatever. They’re just twins anyway.”

“But how? That doesn’t make sense!”

Raphael sighed again. “Alright, look. Dad didn’t know when we hatched, right? But we all wanted birthday parties like we saw on TV, so he let us pick.”

“Yes. And for some reason Leonardo and Donatello chose the same day.” Draxum could figure that much out on his own.

Raphael nodded. “I was the biggest and oldest, and Mikey was the littlest and youngest, and Leo and Donnie were just kinda sandwiched in the middle. I think at first they just wanted a thing. Somethin’ that set them apart from me and Mikey, ya know?”

“Not really,” said Draxum. Raphael glared at him, and he sighed. “But go on.”

“So they picked the same birthday and called themselves twins. I think Pops just so glad they were actually getting along that he agreed to it. And I think he thought once we got to the day, and they realized they were really gonna have to share it, they’d both demand their own day instead. I know I thought that was gonna happen.” He smiled at the memory. “But the day came, and… they fussed the whole time just like they do now. Arguing about what kind of cake they wanted and who got to open their present first. But they didn’t ask to split. They kept it the same day, and they kept calling each other twins and it just stuck, until we didn’t question it anymore.”

“…They are both stubborn,” Draxum pointed out, and Raphael laughed once.

“Yeah, guess they are. But that’s not what this is.” Raphael shrugged. “They chose each other back then. Maybe at first it was just to have a thing, but then it became real. And every single year they keep choosing each other. That’s why they’re twins.”

Choosing each other as twins… Draxum furrowed his brow. “It’s not normally a choice,” he pointed out finally.

“Yeah, well, our family doesn’t get a lot of choices, so just let ‘em have this one, okay?”

“…Fine,” Draxum finally relented. “As long as it’s noted that this is purely a social designation, and not a biological one.”

“Uh, sure, whatever.” Raphael rolled his eyes. “Glad we got that cleared up, though. Think you can come back to the party and behave?”

Draxum wrinkled his nose at that phrasing, but nodded. “Yes. I will not bring it up again.”

“Good!” Raphael’s smile abruptly transitioned into something much more dangerous. “Because if you make my little brothers upset on their birthday again, I’ll remind you what it was like when we were enemies.”

Then the smile was back. “Now let’s go in!”

He walked back to the subway station, leaving Draxum to follow on his own. Draxum couldn’t help but sigh wistfully.

Raphael would have made a great general for his army.

———

The boys had already returned by the time Draxum got back. They were opening more gifts, and he noted they were wearing hoodies now - though they had apparently decided to swap their signature colors. They were smiling and chattering, and any hint of their earlier upset was gone.

Until Draxum stepped into their line of sight, and both of them went rigid, wary of him.

Apparently just talking to the red one was not enough. Draxum would have to do more. What a pain.

But he didn’t want the boys to hate him. So he sighed and launched into it.

“I… am sorry. I shouldn’t have said you aren’t twins.”

The boys looked surprised at that; slowly, their posture loosened back up.

“And… to make up for my present, I will… take the two of you wherever you want to go in the Hidden City.” The next words were painful, and he ground them out. “My treat.”

Leonardo and Donatello shifted their gaze from him to each other. They were silent, but it didn’t seem like they needed to talk to have a conversation.

Then they finally looked back at Draxum, slow grins growing over both their faces.

Eerily matching, very evil grins.

“Oh,” said Leonardo, happily menacing. “I think we can think of something.”

“I concur,” said Donatello in the exact same tone.

Oh, thought Draxum. Maybe they really are twins.

[imthepunchlord]

It's really funny how despite the things he did in his debut appearence, people were saying that Felix was better than Adrien because "the show never tried to justify what he did", and then comes Season 5 to say "Nope, every bad thing he did was ok! He's actually a good guy!"

I'm not sure you want to come to me about Felix being problematic then made good as I am one of those who really like Felix far more than Adrien, this including PV and canon's initial intro of him. There are definite issues of s4 finale and s5 and how they handled Felix, but I do still like him far more than Adrien, and I do still think he's a better lead option.

Keeping the topic on canon, Felix for the first few eps, based on what I heard, was doing everything that I've been wanting.

Adrien and Gabriel, who for some reason, are just unconditionally liked by characters? No one dislikes them at all?

Well in comes Felix who dislikes them both.

Adrien's been long due to have some sort of adversary, especially with Marinette technically getting 3 from Chloe, Lila, and sort of Kagami who was occasionally antagonistic to her. But Adrien never got one. Not even in Luka who isn't even an actual rival to him given Adrien had no romantic interest in Marinette.

So Felix came in and hit that want. Shame it didn't stay.

Then I get to hear that Felix comes back, dislikes Chloe, and messes with her?

And then his, what, 3rd appearance, Felix discovers Gabriel is HM, and plots a heist against him. Boy is doing the job Adrien was supposed to do back in s2 when he discovered his father had a Miraculous related book, and did nothing.

If anything, the inclusion of Felix just confirmed to me that we got the lesser lead.

And base on what I hear, the s4 finale and onwards just ruins Felix but hey, by how ML is with it's inconsistency, those are details I can choose to dismiss/ignore. Especially as those can clash with initial intro, which wouldn't be the first time (like Kagami and Trixx are very different form their initial intros).

But yeah, I agree that he was better than Adrien. He actually does stuff vs Adrien who spends most seasons sitting in his room watching the news. Plus, Felix was openly and acknowledged as problematic in contrast to Adrien who does problematic things but it's not acknowledged to be.

But that is just me as I've been disapproving of Adrien since s2.

[lokisprettygirl]

Utopia (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x female reader) (Non Canon AU) (18+)

Read chapter 6 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 7

Summary: Daemon eases your fears and worries.

Warning: 18+ sex ,period sex (if it bothers you skip the scene) death and destruction that comes from a ship wreckage, smut, sex, menstrual sex, unprotected sex. Some inconsistency with ship sinking, i researched as much as I could

“Are you alright?” Emma's voice was filled with concern as she asked you if you were okay, noticing the distress that was evident on your face. The two of you had just left Lily's house, and Emma could sense the negative effect it had on you.

“I'm fine..just want to go home” Emma sighed as you said that. She could tell that you were not alright, but she didn't know how to help without you opening up to her.

“Y/n I know you have always liked him but him and Lily have always been this way..they fight, fuck other people and then get back to each other.. don't you remember how he treated you on the ship after he slept with you?” you turned your head to look at her as she said that. Emma's words had struck a chord in your heart, reminding you of the awful morning when Daemon had completely dismissed you post the one night stand .

“Yeah? Always huh? How many times have they survived a ship sinking incident before? How many times before Daemon was left stranded on an island with someone else? This is not the same thing..why it's so hard for you guys to understand” you got visibly agitated as you finished your sentence, your voice raised as you tried to express that you and Daemon weren't just a fling.

“I'm just trying to protect you..” she mumbled softly so you sighed.

“I know but I also know what I'm doing..do you have any idea what I have been through with Daemon on that Island? You can't just get over that stuff and move on with your life as if nothing happened. He …he knows me..I know him..six months ..we were .. everything to each other” your eyes teared up and you hated how weak you felt in the moment. You always felt this way whenever Daemon was in the picture.

“But he's not on that Island anymore and neither are you..he's back here in the actual world where Lily is”

You didn't say anything as she said that. After what Lily had said about him fucking her last night and seeing things from Emma's perspective you felt hurt and worried. You asked him clearly if he had fucked her and he said no, did he lie to you? Why would he lie to you and hurt you like that?

“Do you want me to find a job for you? Dalton was asking about you” she said as she pulled the car in your driveway so you took your seat belt off, you just wanted to go home and cry.

“Not right now, last time you hooked me up with a job ..things didn't work out so well”

You heard the literal gasp she let out as you jabbed at her. That was mean and uncalled for but anger was bubbling inside you at the moment and Daemon wasn't there to take it.

You entered your bedroom, exhausted from the emotional upheaval. As you collapsed onto your bed, you noticed a missed call and a few text messages from Daemon on your phone. Taking a deep breath, you picked up your phone and opened the message.

You didn't want to ignore him and you certainly didn't want to hurt him by making assumptions about him, he told you something and you wanted to believe him but insecurities from the past ran deep and this wouldn't be the first time a man would cheat your trust like this. Instead of wrestling with your thoughts you dialed his number instead,

“Am I being ignored?” He asked as soon as he picked up so you sighed.

“Why would you say that?”

“What did she say to you..love?” his tone of voice made it clear that he was genuinely concerned.

“Where are you?” you asked him nonchalantly, your voice didn't really hold any emotion at the moment.

“I'm with my lawyer, had to discuss uhhh.. some fortune related complexities..are you back at your place?” He enquired so you barely hummed in response “Can I come see you?”

“You don't have to ask me” he chuckled as you said that,

“I'm trying to be more civilized and less of a caveman”

“Don't you want to go see Lily?” you asked him with sarcasm and envy dripping from your tone.

“Not right now, I want her to move on.. darling.. whatever she said to you that's making you all squeaky and snappy at me .. I will fix it yeah? And then you're going to fix me” you couldn't help but bite on your lip as his words made you feel slightly bashful.

“Okay” you could hear him smiling on the other end of the line as you mumbled a short response again.

Half an hour later as you opened the door and saw Daemon standing there, with his arms behind his back and a mischievous smirk on his face, you felt your heart skip a beat. The peach ribbed shirt he was wearing just added to his charm, it made you want to snuggle against him. Despite your feelings for him, the idea of him breaking your trust and lying to you was breaking your heart in ways you couldn't even begin to imagine.

The only reason why you weren't crying yourself to sleep for the past two days was because of him, the past month when you both were avoiding each other was difficult to say the least. The nightmares about drowning in the ocean had become a frequent occurrence, leaving you feeling frightened and restless. The fact that he was the only thing preventing you from giving in to the emotional distress that had been haunting you was both a comfort and a burden. But he was the only one who truly understood you because he was there suffering with you.

“Flowers for the beautiful lady” he held one of his hands forward to present you with a bouquet of beautiful flowers so you grabbed it and took in their scent “Chocolates” he then brought his other hand forward so you grabbed the box and went into your room, acting like a petulant child, it didn't do anything to deter him, he actually found you adorable like this.

He was expecting a kiss and a hug but this morning when you had told him that you were tagging along with Emma to visit Lily, he was terrified, not because he had anything to hide from you but because he knew as a matter of fact that she'd try to fill your head against him to drive wedge between you both. He was well aware of her vindictive ways when she was scorned like this.

“We need to stop meeting like that at your door” he mumbled as he entered the bedroom door and you were already on the bed with your face down into the pillow.

You felt his lips trail up from your calves to your hamstrings and he spent a good minute on your ass cheeks before he kissed up from the small of your back very slowly. Shivers ran down your spine as he moved up and pulled your hair aside to kiss your nape. You turned around to look at him and your teary eyes rendered his heart, your delicate features always softened him.

“If it wasn't for us being stranded on that Island you'd never date me would you?” You asked him as you caressed his cheeks with your fingers, you always feared that your connection with him was rooted in the shared trauma of the island and would fizzle soon.

“Yeah that might be true but not because there's something wrong with you or that you're not insanely attractive but because I wouldn't really get to know you like this..so intimately in every possible way”

You felt his fingers brush lightly against your chest, resting right above your heart, and you couldn't help but feel the burst of emotions.

His hand then drifted under your skirt as he leaned down to kiss you lovingly, palms wrapped around your hips as he pulled you into him so you sighed and closed your eyes to feel him close.

“You used to visit Paradise with Emma ” your eyes snapped open as he mentioned that.

Paradise was the name of the club The Dragonriders played at frequently and you used to go there on weekends before you even took the job on Utopia. “I'd often watch you dance from afar..you never even looked at me back then you know.. didn't even notice me” he mumbled softly in your ears so you cupped his cheeks again.

“I didn't know you..you were just a stranger”

“Exactly darling.. sometimes you have to learn the person inside out to truly appreciate them. I know i was unfair and cruel to you after that night we had spent together but it was my immaturity speaking..now i know better” you sighed as he said that, your hands sneaked inside his shirt as he leaned into you for a kiss again. He was irresistible at all times but especially when he was on top of you like this.

“You look cute in your pretty little skirt baby, my brave girl ..now are you going to sulk some more or you'd tell me what it is she said to you that is messing with your head?” he asked you, his voice was still gentle but firmer this time. You didn't want to beat around the bush either.

“She told me that you made love to her last night after you dropped her off and then later on she went into detail about how magical it was for both of you”

He looked at you intensely for a moment before he chuckled slightly as if he had it coming..

Somehow that reaction eased your fear, it was Lily's words against the man you had faced the worst of life with. If he was going to tell you that he hadn't fucked her then you'd have to believe him.

You'd have to put your faith in him because he deserved that much from you..

“Do you know why I came so hard inside you last night?” he asked you softly as his thumb brushed over your lips before he kissed you again.

“Whyy?”

“Because it has been a full day since I had done that.. since I had felt you around me so intimately. I might be an uncivilized animal at times but I'd never hurt you like that. Especially not you ..not after everything we have been through together”

You cupped his cheeks and your fingers ran through his scalp as he said that, his words felt sincere and a part of you believed him wholly, something made you believe that Daemon would never hurt you like that no matter what.

“You're not an uncivilized animal…just my big burly Cavemon” a smile graced his features as you cooed at him.

“Believe me yeah?”

“Okay.. sorry”

“Shhh it's not your fault..”

“No I'm sorry she said that about you and i believed her because I'm afraid and insecure”

“We all are at times..i fixed the problem..now you fix me” you giggled as he tickled your stomach with his fingers.

“Stahp ..it's almost my second day now..there will be clumps and stuff coming out of my goodies” he looked at you intently as you said that, his eyes darkened with consumable lust.

“If you intended for that to disgust me..it's not working”

“Your kinks are kinky..have you always had this one?” you questioned as you lifted your head up to kiss his neck.

“Not until you..”

“But you fucked your ex on her cycle”

“Not for the kink”

“It's just strange for me…my ex was disgusted just by me mentioning my period clumps”

“What an imbecile huh?

You giggled as you wrapped your legs around his waist and he made you sit up along with him.

“We are doing this my way today” you mumbled as you took your crop top and skirt off, Daemon got off the bed and he quickly undressed himself with the speed of lighting, when he climbed back on the bed you removed your underwear and threw it on the floor,

“You won't mind if I bleed on you right?”

“Fuck darling …noo” he almost moaned at the picture you had painted for him, you climbed on his lap and sat yourself down on his cock slowly, inch by inch, he wasn't really an average man in length or girth so you needed to go slow for your own sake, his legs splayed out on the bed as you submerged him completely and he placed his hands around your hips as you moved in circles slowly. His head swayed backwards and moans spilled from his throat as you worked your hips back and forth.

“I noticed you..” you mumbled against his mouth as you kissed him so he opened his eyes and looked at you all perplexed. He looked cute like this, all fucked out and pleasured the way he deserved to be pleasured.

“Mmm?”

“In the club..i noticed you..but you always had your eyes on her”

“Darling, do you believe in fate?” his voice came out in whispers as the sensation grew in the pit of his stomach,

“Not really”

“I do”

“Why?”

“I just do..I think it was fate that brought us together. Why do you think we were accommodated right next to each other when all the people we knew were a deck below from us?”

“Duuh management”

“Was it management that left us stranded together on that Island?” his fingers dug into your hips as he helped you hop on top of him.

“No it was my stupidity”

“Mmm really? You want to tell me that those strong waves somehow managed to bring us together on that very same island where we collapsed not even six feet apart from each other because of you? And both of us miraculously lived through it while none of those other people survived?”

“I don't know what to say..you're romanticizing the tragedy” his fingers curled into your hair and he pulled you closer to kiss you before he spoke,

“I have earned the right to do so ..now be a good girl and fucking cum with me”

You kissed him hungrily and the rest of the rebuttals you had didn't really come out as you fell apart in his arms as soon as you felt his warm cum filling you up to the brim. He placed his head on your chest as you both recovered from the euphoria but it lasted a good while.

Your head felt fuzzy as you had never been fucked this good, sex had never been so satisfying before. It was as if your body connected to him on a much deeper level than just physical, sex with him transcended you and filled you with intense emotional and mental release.

“If you pull out right now I'd ruin my bed so take me to the shower alright?” He chuckled briefly before he dragged his shapely arse off the bed and took you to the bathroom. He turned the shower on and as soon as he pulled out, his cum mixed with your blood spilled out of your freshly fucked cunt. His cock was absolutely bloody as well and you heard him gasp as he glanced at it. His fingers immediately caressed your lips as he cleaned the mess between your legs so you fisted his cock and returned the favor.

“I missed one therapy session and I was a major bitch to Emma this morning” you mumbled as you came back to reality from the mind numbing orgasm you had experienced just now..

“What did you do?”

“You know how they keep telling us in therapy to not blame other people for what happened as it was nobody's fault?” He nodded as you said that while he rubbed the body wash between his palm and turned you around to scrub your back.

“I think I did just that and I feel awful”

“Mmmm then apologize sweetheart and talk it out…these things happen amongst friends. I called Cole this morning to wish him for the birthday and we had a chat, he understands me better now”

“It's his birthday today?”

“Yup and we are invited, I'm sure he'd text you about it”

You hummed as he said that, as you placed your head down on his chest he wrapped his arms around you while you two enjoyed the hot shower in the comfort of your bathroom. Sometimes when you closed your eyes you imagined yourself being back at the island with him but you were only thinking about the times that weren't so awful, like bathing with him in the sea and walking around the woods in search for fruits, and most of all sleeping all huddled together on the bed of leaves every night.

You missed that, you really did miss it at times.

“Daemon?’

“What would you like for your birthday?” you asked him as you realized it would come soon as well, you were on the island when you turned 27, he had gone out of his way to collect fresh coconut water and had made a fruit platter for you which was more than enough on that forsaken place.

“I want your trust and faith in me” you turned around as he said that and kissed him softly.

Besides he was planning something to surprise you with instead, he had a meeting with his lawyer for the same reason and his lawyer certainly didn't think it was a great idea to go forward with this but he knew he wanted to do this, for both of you.

“And i want to take you somewhere with me” he said to you

“Mmmm where?” You giggled as your heart skipped a beat. You just hoped he wasn't going to take you to meet his family just yet. It felt too soon for that.

“It's going to be a surprise, hence the trust and faith demand“

“I trust you baby” his lips curved into a sweet smile as you said that.

The plan moving forward was to take a nap with him and it was very cozy until he began shivering in his sleep, telltale sign of a nightmare and you knew what it was about, it was about that night in the woods that he had spent all alone without you, he deeply struggled with the memory of the night and it was very hard on him so you know he was reliving the same trauma in his sleep. Or that's what you thought.

You didn't know that he was having a nightmare but not about being stranded in the woods but about you being bitten by that spider, he always had a nightmare about that night where instead of you being alright the next morning he saw your dead lifeless body and he was left all alone without his brave girl by his side.

When he woke up he pretended as if he wasn't affected by the nightmare in the slightest and asked you to get ready as you were both invited to the Paradise for Cole's birthday. Luckily Lily wasn't there because of her injury but the group had decided to visit her post drinking.

When you reached hand in hand with him, it felt a little awkward, people who recognised you kept staring and you felt like an animal in the zoo. The attention was uncomfortable, as you just wanted to blend in with the other people and enjoy the evening without the scrutiny.

Life had changed in more ways than one, at times you were not even Daemon or y/n, you were just that couple that was stranded on an island for six months. Whenever you were out in public, people would inevitably make reference to your story, and you found yourself being treated like a celebrity. You felt objectified though as if there was nothing more to you anymore than what you had suffered.

After greeting Cole as you spotted Emma you walked towards her.

“How's D?” She asked you so you looked at her confused for a moment.

“Daemon? He's doing okay umm-”

“No the Dick..how's his dick..is it as good as rumored?” she asked you as she crossed her arms so you pulled her into a hug.

“I'm sorry em.. I'm so sorry for being such a bitch when you were just looking out for me”

Your eyes teared up as you spoke to her so she hugged you as tightly as you were hugging her.

“It's okay..I get that..they tell me not to take it personally..you both have been through something none of us can imagine living through” you looked down as she said that.

“That's not an excuse to lash out but I'll be careful i promise..now let's get drunk..it's been a while and you're going to reveal every tea about Aemond” she blushed bright red as you whispered the last part in her ear. You were happy for her, she deserved someone making her happy and gleeful like this.

A band was performing in the club and you noticed how Daemon kept looking at them while they played as if wondering about his own time on the stage, you knew he missed singing and being up there.

Afterwards when the group decided to go see Lily you chose to opt out but Daemon insisted and pleaded until you gave in, perhaps seeing him with you would finally make her back off a little bit and she'd realize that Daemon has moved on from their toxic relationship.

However as you all turned up at her place you saw a man leaving her house, you recognised him even though nobody else did, it was one of the major crew members at Queen Utopia, Danny something, you didn't remember his full name but he was the man Lily was with that night. He handled the maintenance of the cargo area.

As he walked past you he looked you right in the eye, you saw something in those eyes but you couldn't put your finger on it.

They always told you to not put blame on anyone as the tragedy was nobody's fault but what if it was somebody's fault? And what if it was Danny who had something to do with it?

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Taglist

@mcufan72 @123forgottherest @shuichiakainx @stupidthoughtsinwriting @tmlbdv

@ammo23 @anukulee

[kakashihasibs]

@pax-thuban tags are good too

LOOK AT OUR OLD MAN HE LOOKS SO GOOD I LOVE HIM

[mamawasatesttube]

I feel so shy not being able to hide in the anon asks but for the sake of desperation I'll ask anyway.

First of all I must say that I love the way you express yourself, because even though you are against some things, or at least you don't like them. You express it so well and so respectful that's addicting.

Anyway the questions were what you thought about Tim+Kon+Bernard, because I've seen a lot of people talking about it but I don't know if it makes much sense if you think of their relationship.

Also if you had some songs that reminded you of Kon I'd love the recs! Because I'm still a newbie in the whole DC comics, but I've been having a Kon brain rot for a while.

Sorry if I don't express myself correctly, English isn't my first language. If any of this makes you uncomfy please feel free of ignoring me and I hope you have plenty of good days!!💕💕 Be careful to not catch a cold

aww thank you that's very sweet of you to say!!! :D i do love to simply start talking and rambling all the time. one of my top skills. (and yeah i turned off anon asks a while ago because unfortunately talking about racism in fandom often gets you labelled a bitch with a terrible personality 😔✊ alas!)

as for tim/kon/bernard ... i really, really dislike that ship. it takes everything i already strongly dislike about tim/ber (tim drake: robin is the worst comic i've ever read, and i'm including jeph loeb's supergirl when i say this), and multiplies it by a factor of about 500.

my biggest problem with tim/ber is that megfitz wrote them with absolutely no actual chemistry. there is nothing in the text to tell me why they actually like each other. there is nothing in the text that tells me what the issues in their relationship are, or how they might grow together as people, or anything. which is absolutely insane because you'd think "bernard knows tim's secret identity, but has not told tim that he knows" would be a MAJOR point of conflict, but instead it's just completely glossed over to the point of the comic asking us to accept that the bats would ever allow a mob of random civilians on a mission with them. there's stretching suspension of disbelief, and then there's putting suspension of disbelief on the medieval torture rack and tearing it apart. like. come ON. (tdr is also like. teehee gentrification but its cute? which is insane to me in a different way. its just. its so bad. its such a bad comic.)

so adding kon to that mix kind of gives me hives because a) we have all of my issues with tdr being incredibly inconsistent, both internally and with all existing tim characterization ever, and b) it brings up all of my issues with how kon has been written since yj2019. which i could get into Yet Again but in the interests of being at least a little bit concise, it's also incredibly inconsistent and drives me bonkers. so the concept of this ship just makes me go "why the FUCK" because i just truly genuinely cannot fathom why kon and bernard would ever give a shit about each other. i can barely even fathom why tim and bernard give a shit about each other because megfitz did the comic script equivalent of picking up two barbie dolls and mashing them together and going LOOK THEYRE IN LOVE. they have no consistent characterization under her pen.

so adding kon into that just makes me want to tear my hair out a little bit because. like. to be entirely honest i don't know how some random dude from one of tim's many high schools who tim was friendly with, sure, but not particularly close with, can hold a candle to Whatever The Fuck Tim And Kon Have Going On. especially with how flat their relationship reads to me in tdr (what do they even like about each other??? why is bernard in fucking biophysics or whatever while wanting to be a chef??? why does tim not go "you know culinary school exists right??" when he finds out??? how am i supposed to believe that tim "duty" drake would ever leave people in a burning building just for his sad boyfriend??? that batman and co would ever let a bunch of civilians fight alongside them - or for that matter, that they'd need bernard to tell them tim's in trouble?? what the fuck alternate dimension are they from where any of this makes sense???). tim/ber just is such a nothing ship to me that adding kon to it is just like. EXTREME nothing. to me tim/ber/kon is basically a flag that says "i don't care about characterization" and it's just so very deeply NOT my thing at all whatsoever.

...which is why to ME tim's first boyfriend is ives, not bernard, and in this essay i will--

ahem. anyways!! re: kon songs, oh man i have a lot. i have a whole playlist even. with a linked document to explain every song choice. i also lately have been thinking about making a second playlist for all the songs that didn't make it onto the first one!! much to consider.

also don't worry your english is totally fine ♥ and it's very sweet of you to wish me well healthwise and also a little funny because actually i am just getting over a cold that had me sniffly and miserable most of last week. but i'm much better tonight so yippee!! thank you again :D

[libraryofloveletters]

chapter three: the eyes never lie

Chalres Leclerc x Fem!Reader + Carlos Sainz Jr x Fem!Reader

Warnings: nerves, guilty feelings, charles is a bit oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend is out here like that, inconsistent race schedules sorry, carlos is ignoring/not feeling the guilt, mentions of cheating, a few cheeky comments from carlos, tension, lingering looks, flirting, the use of 'slut' in a derogatory way.

Word Count: 2.4k

Author's Note: sorry for the wait besties! hopefully y'all are into this as much as I am lmao

Call My Name Masterlist

---

The nerves were racking you and you can't help but feel guilty about your actions.

Your darling boyfriend Charles seems to notice your nerves, but chalked it up to nothing more than nerves over your upcoming exams. It was more than that; it was the fact that you had left him with a good intention of going home and somehow ended up in the bed of his teammate.

There's a bit of a break between the races in Monaco and Monza, you and Charles spent the majority of the break in Monaco, relaxing and unwinding - at least Charles was.

It's eating away at you, swallowing you whole every time you look at your boyfriend. You felt guilty just thinking about Carlos, let alone when Charles brings him up - you push away the thoughts, shutting the conversation down.

You love Charles or at least that's what you keep telling yourself.

Forcing yourself to think that you were in love with him and in some ways you were, but you knew that it was never going to be the same way it was with Carlos.

Now, if it was love you felt for Carlos? You weren't sure.

All you knew was that Charles never - in the 7 months you've been together - ever made you feel the way that Carlos did.

Days to Monza turned into hours and into seconds; now, there you are, at the home of Ferrari with your boyfriend. You find yourself, surrounded by Charles and Carlos, their faces plastered everywhere, the crowds chanting their names; you can't escape either of them.

It wasn't Charles you wanted to escape, but Carlos.

He was everywhere you didn't want him to be.

It was easy to pretend with Charles after a while. You ignored everything Carlos related, you and Charles lived in a harmonious little bubble without a thing in the world to bother you. Now that you've left, it was hard - so hard. Every single second you had a gut wrenching feeling that you'd be caught. That someone, somewhere, would know what you and Carlos did in Monaco.

They'd find out that you weren't a loving girlfriend but instead a cheating slut.

While you were battling your moral conscience every day, Carlos seemed perfectly fine.

You never understood how he managed to go on with his days as if you two hadn't done anything wrong. It was wrong, so fucking wrong but god, did it feel good. The guilt was eating you alive, you needed to talk to Carlos - you didn't need to be around him, you really should stay away but you needed to get this off your chest.

Charles was in the media pen and you had maybe half an hour before he came back. So you took that as your chance to go speak to his teammate.

Finding your way to his driver's room, you knock on the door. You were expecting Carlos, not Rupert. "Hey, y/n." The ginger smiles, "everything okay ?"

Rupert wasn't expecting you, his brows furrowed as he sees you peek behind him. "Is Carlos here? I uh.. I need to speak to him."

"He had to grab something from his car, he'll be back in a few."

"Oh," you nod, "I'll come back."

"No no, that's okay. You can come in and wait for him, he'll be back in a few and I have to go prep his stuff for quali anyways."

"You're sure?" You asked, hesitantly stepping into the room.

"Absolutely," Rupert steps to the side, letting you make yourself comfortable before shutting the door behind him as he leaves.

You sit by yourself for a while, taking in the surroundings. You had never actually been in his driver's room - you had no reason to be in there. There's a Spain flag hanging on the wall, a few family photos here and there, a terrifying comparison photo of him and his father; something of nightmares but to each their own. The pillow behind you had the Spain flag printed on it, your finger traced over the patterns when the door opens.

"You're not Rupert," the voice calls, shutting the door behind them. Setting the pillow down, you look up to see Carlos. "Would you like me to call him back?" You asked, standing up before you fixed the pillow.

Carlos smiled, shaking his head. "No."

"And why not?"

"Rupert won't kiss me the way you do," he admits, making you roll your eyes. As much as you wanted to scream and fight, he was so charming and you couldn't help the smile on your face.

"If you paid him enough, I'm sure he'd probably kiss you."

Carlos took a step towards you, his hand resting on your lower back. "Still won't be as good as you."

You give him a soft shove, creating some space between the two of you. "Do you not feel guilty, Carlos?"

"Guilty?" His brows furrow, the faintest of head tilts as he looks at you. "What for?"

You scoff; you're not sure if you're more mad at yourself or at him for not knowing what you meant. "Monaco." You say quietly, eyes fixed on him.

Carlos shrugs, sitting on the little couch in his room. You turn to face the man, his eyes wandering up and down your body. "Stop that." You say, rolling your eyes yet again.

"Need I remind you that I'm not the one in a relationship?" His arms crossed as he looked at you.

"So it's all on me?"

He hums, shrugging. "Could have walked out that night, y/n. You didn't have to stay and you definitely didn't have to do that thing with your-"

"Stop." You cut him off, pointing a finger at him. Carlos smirks, pursing his lips as he clears his throat.

"You texted me, you kissed me, Carlos."

"You didn't have to come, y/n. You didn't have to kiss me back, I wasn't holding you hostage."

"Might as well have been."

"Oh please, you loved it." He smiles, raising his eyebrows. You scoff, unable to believe the nonsense you were hearing from the man. "Fuck you, Carlos."

He leans back, his arms behind his head. "You sure did, y/n."

You groan, unsure if you wanted to punch him, strangle him or suffocate him with his stupid Spain throw pillow but instead, chose to walk out of his room; just as you did, you bump into one person that shouldn't have seen you up there.

"You okay, babe?" Charles's hands rest on your arms, steadying you after you bump into him. You smile, nodding. "I was just coming to look for you."

He notices Carlos's door open, the Spanish driver watching the two of you. "What were you looking for me for?" Charles asks, his arm over your shoulder as his glance moves from his teammate back to you.

"My sunglasses are in your room." You smiled, leaning into your boyfriend.

"Were you just with Carlos?" Charles asks, curiosity getting the best of him. You nod, "I just walked up with him, I was waiting for you to come up so we were just chatting."

"Yeah," Carlos pipes up from his room, smiling at the couple; y/n's a quick thinker, he thinks to himself - that'll come in handy.

You look at Carlos, the man locking eyes with you and you look away but his eyes stay fixed on you. Something about the way he looked at you rubbed Charles the wrong way and being the good boyfriend he was, notices the uncomfortableness of the situation.

"Did you get your sunglasses, love?" He asks, walking you towards his driver's room. "No, the door was locked." You tell him, "Andrea must have locked it."

Charles nods, towards his door before unlocking it for you. "Go on," he lets you walk in, shutting the door behind you two.

The two drivers' rooms shared a wall between them, everything could be heard, there was essentially no privacy when it came to them. Carlos could hear when Charles asked if you were okay. You tell him you're fine, Carlos is certain you've got your signature reassuring smile on your face as you tell him you're okay.

He hears the door open and shut again, the footsteps approaching his driver's room. It's Charles, "meeting starts in 15 in the garage," his teammate tells him, leaning on the doorframe.

Carlos nods, glancing at the woman behind him. "I'll be there."

The Monegasque driver nods, reaching for his girlfriend's hand, the two of you interlocking fingers as you make your way to the stairs. Carlos gets up, walking over to the doorway and leaning on the doorframe as he watches you make your way down; red skirt bouncing with each step, your sunglasses pushed into your hair - no one would ever think that you were anything other than Charles' loving girlfriend.

Carlos knew you were so much more than that.

---

No matter how much you tried, how you tossed and turned, sleep would not come. Charles was already in dreamland, his arm over your waist as he snored quietly.

Usually, it'd put you to sleep - even if you did find it annoying at first but now, it's a reminder of your constant guilt.

Unable to sleep, you find yourself getting out of bed. The stirring wakes Charles and the man sitting up as you put your slippers on.

"Where are you going?" He asks, rubbing his eyes.

"For a walk. I have a headache so I just want some fresh air." You turn to face him and he nods. "Do you want some company?"

You smile but shake your head, "it's okay, babe. Stay and sleep, I'll be back in 20 minutes."

Charles smiles, laying back down. "Be safe," he mumbles, eyes already closed. His hand reached out for you, something he did when you left before he did - the different time zones he travelled through often left him in bed for longer than you.

You hold it, walking around the bed to his side and leaning down. Charles opens his eyes for a moment, his free hand cupping your jaw as he smiles sleepily at you.

"You're sure you'll be okay?"

You nod, "I'll be back before you know it." The man smiles, pulling you down slightly to give you a kiss. As horrible as it was, the thought crossed your mind; it didn't feel the same as Carlos. The passion wasn't there.

You pick up your room key, stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind you quietly. You took the stairs, making your way outside through a back door.

You end up by the pool and you're certain no one was going to be out there, it's nearly 2am.

Much to your surprise, there was someone there.

You can't see the person just yet but you can see the figure in the pool, the outline of their body. As you walk closer to the edge, the person comes up to the surface, causing you to freeze in your tracks.

Carlos.

"Seems you keep finding me," he says, floating around.

You shrug, "just needed some fresh air, what are you doing up? Should you be getting your beauty sleep for the race tomorrow ?"

"Swimming helps me relax; Rupert is sleeping and the gym is closed so here I am." Carlos tells you, watching as you left your slippers by the table, walking over barefoot and sitting at the edge of the pool. Your legs hung down into the cold water, your face twisting in momentary displeasure before you relaxed slightly.

You always seem to be on edge these days.

He swims up to the edge, leaning on it. His tanned arms rest over the edge, water dripping off his muscles as he looks over at you. "I don't feel guilty." He says.

"I do."

"You shouldn't." He whispers and your brows furrow. "Charles isn't that great of a boyfriend."

You scoff, unable to believe his audacity. "How could you even say that?"

"If he was such a great boyfriend, if he really knew you; he'd realize something was off by now and considering that you two are still happily in love, he hadn't put two and two together."

It takes you a minute to gather your thoughts; unsure if you should drown him or cuss him out but you bite your tongue and hold back the urge to drown him.

You get up, pulling yourself up from the pool. "I think I'll be going back to bed."

Carlos nods, getting out of the pool himself. You had brushed the water from your legs, putting your slippers back on.

Just as you go to walk away, Carlos grabs your hand. "You shouldn't feel guilty about something that feels right."

Again, you don't answer the man but pull your hand away instead.

"You know exactly what I mean, y/n." He calls out to you as you walk away, you stop to look back at him before you walk into the hotel, half minded to turn the lock on the door and leave him outside.

Once again, you find yourself on the stairs, walking up to the 15th floor. You stop by your room door, feeling your pockets for the key as you catch your breath.

The lock clicks when you slide the key into the slot.

Charles had his back to the door, you set your key down and took your slippers off as you made your way to bed. He feels the mattress dip as you get into bed, his arms wrapping around you before pulling you into him.

You settle into his chest, the tip of his nose brushes against your ear. His brows furrow, the man half asleep when he asks, "why do you smell like that?"

"What?" You look at him, "smell like what? I showered, you know."

He chuckles, "no, like.. the pool, chlorine."

"Oh," the image of Carlos shirtless and wet crosses your mind and you push the thought away. "Ended up by the pool when I went for my walk. There were some teenagers splashing around."

"So late?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, "I can change if you want-" "Just stay," he whispers, arms tightening around you.

The room falls quiet, Charles is snoring again and you pray that sleep comes as you close your eyes for the second time that night.

---

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[utilitycaster]

i think it's telling that so many of the responses to imogen's convos with liliana and laudna were 'this is kinda fucked up and i am fascinated by it and am enjoying it' and but the response to THAT was like 'STOP trying to make everything toxic, ugh fandom never should've learned therapy speak'. like. ignoring that's NOT what that is, people are pretty clearly interacting POSITIVELY with these moments but because what they're enjoying is the parts that are messy, that's somehow bad too???

YUP! There are definitely people who use therapy speak inappropriately, including about Imogen and Laudna, and honestly I pretty specifically avoided using the word "toxic" (or "codependent") about their most recent interaction, but like...there is nothing wrong with enjoying the relationship for being messy! A good deal of the people who are calling it toxic or messy are people who support it and enjoy it! A good deal of people who don't particularly like the relationship for being flat and bland and the conflict constantly fizzling out into nothing, myself included, perked up at yesterday's conversation! It was fascinating: Laudna went to comfort Imogen and told her she loved her, and Imogen's response was to say "oh, you love me? well then why did you go running off to Delilah the second we were apart? why did you lie to me a second time [Laudna did not lie to her the first time, which by now Imogen knows]?"

I don't actually think Imogen's opinions re: Delilah are inconsistent - I think she very specifically started becoming uncomfortable after encountering Delilah in the middle of the night in Whitestone (and I think Laura said as much on a 4SD too), and so her previous assertions about digging into their power sources are not hypocritical. However, yeah, I think we should talk about how both of the two big kisses between these characters are specifically Imogen trying to cut off an emotional speech from Laudna - I don't think it is intended as manipulation, but rather coming from a place of profound fear, but that's still something you need to deal with because this is now three pretty significant cases of kicking the can of conflict down the road and it's only snowballing. I think we should talk about how actually maybe it's valid that Imogen, who has had to make a lot of difficult decisions regarding her engagement with Predathos's power and could be risking losing her powers through her actions, is frustrated that Laudna hasn't done the same with Delilah, but neither of them are working it out. Imogen is letting an assassination of her mother go forward - and I agree with her choice - and Laudna hasn't done anything to extricate herself from Delilah in 30 years despite expressing interest early in the campaign. Imogen is about to lose her mother because her mother declared her reliance on a potentially evil power as an inevitability and wouldn't listen to her, and Laudna's now doing the exact same thing.

And on the other hand, again, Laudna hasn't lied to Imogen. Imogen cut off Laudna's angry, hurt, and extremely valid rant about being betrayed by Bor'Dor by asking to kiss her and so Laudna, trying to make Imogen happy, never worked out these feelings and they've just been building up. Laudna can't express her fears to Imogen because Imogen will demonstrably cut her off. If Imogen is disgusted by Delilah, and that's not going away, what does that mean? Like, is the love enough? I don't know? Could be, but not without actually having a means of resolving all of these extremely valid hurt feelings, and they don't have that. And maybe some of us would like to have some resolution, and are getting real tired of the particularly dim children going "uwu let me have my cottagecore stardew valley dream you all are such MEANIES let people like things" which. Again, if the fact that other people want different things from this relationship is genuinely preventing you from liking things, that's entirely your problem, because I like all kinds of things other people dislike. If you cannot stomach any dissent from your personal interpretation and perceive it as an attack, that says a lot of things about you and none of them bode well.

There is a deeply frustrating tendency that is not limited to this fandom, nor to discussion of Imogen and Laudna, to deny that traumatized characters can hurt other people. You see it with some of the dumber discussions of Ludinus that presume he is specifically a survivor of Aeor (valid as a theory, but unconfirmed); his (hypothetical) trauma does not negate how many other people's lives he's ruined. Percy is deeply traumatized but he did still introduce the gun to the world. Fjord is traumatized but had he willingly completed Uk'otoa's unsealing that would have caused untold damage. Astrid is traumatized but she's still done terrible things as a Volstrucker. FCG and Yasha are both traumatized and both were not even in control of their actions when they caused their worst harm, and they both feel terrible about what they've done. I mean, touching on this episode, it is not actually a contradiction to say both "Liliana is traumatized and has been indoctrinated by a cult and is a victim of said cult and genuinely believes she is doing this for Imogen's benefit" and also "Liliana is a fucking shitty mom." These are both true. This is what cycles of abuse and generational trauma look like. This is what that "blorbo-centered morality" is; suddenly when it's your favorite character they can do no wrong and every explanation becomes, instead, an excuse.

I've been talking a lot about the harassment in this fandom and it really is like...look, I don't know if this harassment is coming, from some of those partaking in it, from a personal trauma. I do not want to ascribe shitty behavior to mental illness, because some people are just assholes. But if it is - it doesn't make it okay! If you are lashing out and sending hate because you project a lot of your own trauma onto Imogen or your own relationships to that of Imogen and Laudna and you perceive every bit of criticism as an attack on you, guess what! You're being a fucking asshole by trying to hurt other people and it does not ultimately matter that it might come from a place of your own hurt and you need to stop.

I've been going off about this and related topics all morning and so I do want to step back and say that I believe this is a relatively small group of people with an outsized toxic impact. I do think that many people are enjoying the relationship for its complexity and unhealthy, messy aspects, that most people would love to read more Imogen meta that covers her as a whole, complex person and not as a tee hee just a silly guy girlfailure. But yeah, I think everyone is getting increasingly done with the group of people who throw a tantrum and retreat into the most idiotic See Spot Run-levels of conflict fantasies whenever there's actual grit and friction and mess in the relationship.

[ch4osm4ster]

I have been asked how to draw Murfy so here is a terrible totorial I've cooked up for gang 😎

(Take it with a grain of salt, I myself don't always follow these rules and go more with the flow of my hand, but it's something I guess XD)

Ignore the fact some pages were left white, by the time I realized it was too late to fix it

Let's start with the head:

I always try to imagine him as a 3d model in my head, tho that does give him a more realistic look. For a more cartoonish/fun look I try not to think about things too hard and just draw my lines as quick as possible.

His head is an interesting shape, compact, especially with the mouth, so I think about his movements as if it were in an animation. This means I make his headshape move with his mouth. I didn't add this in the drawings, but his eye shape also changes with his expression! (Squish and squash) ex: You can either give him eyelids to make him squint, or you can make the eyeshape squished as if he were squinting, etc.

Also a lot of the small details like lips, freckles, eyelids etc are definitely optional. His design had been seen in 3 rayman games and in each of them he had different designs. I just tried to combine it all in my own way :)

Let's talk body:

Shapes shapes shapes. He's a small fellow, so I try to draw him with as little as details as possible (shapewise, bodywise) as if he were right in front of me. Like ants, we do not see all their details because they're so far away from our eyes (small). While Murfy definitely isn't ant-sized, his body is small and so details are harder to see, like dents in his arms, biceps, etc.

Now this isn't also the case with his head, as it's much larger. Normal sized I think? So I add more details to that area since it'll be easier to see.

I drew everything in sections so it's easier to see, but when I actually draw him I don't think about them much. Again, I try to draw the lines as fast as possible, in one smooth move (or as little moves as I can). Offcourse if I don't like it there's always the undo button XD

You can make him as realistic of cartoonish as you feel like, I myself keep changing between what I want. It also depends on the vibe of my art whether realism fits more or not.

In Legends for example, his clothes never really look realistic, there's barely any perspective and it's not as flowy, it's almost stiff. For that effect I noticed it's better to first draw the clothes and then the body, although to help me out a liiitle bit I still add his torso to keep the right proportions.

I personally like him in his dress cloak? Idk what it is rn. But in Rayman 3 he didn't wear it so idk how to properly mix that body with that piece of cloth. But I am trying lol. But yea that means I don't really know how to explain the way it lays on him in that style. All I can do is draw the body first and hope for the best.

Remember, experimenting here is crucial! It took me many many tries to get him to look the way he does and I'm still not fully done figuring him out. So best I can say is experiment and see what you like most, this is only a base and idea :D

So yea, don't take this too seriously, it's only how he works in my brain when I try to draw him. I hope this post helped someone out there, don't forget to be yourself in your art and that you never have to draw like someone else. The only person who needs to be impressed is you <3

Again, I have no idea what I'm doing lol my art of him is inconsistent as hell too

ENJOY!!

[beauty-and-passion]

What Makes the Perfect Gift?: A real Aside (and no stakes left)

As always, thank you for the people writing me every time there is something new SaSi-related, because I don't pay attention to Thomas' Youtube account anymore.

In this case, thank you twice, because I would've never paid attention until 2024, considering I had pretty clear plans for my holidays and they involved:

a Christmas trip with my family

a (hopefully!) New Year trip away from home (hopefully!)

But since my plans were too good, the universe decided "Fuck no" and gave me fucking Covid. So my Christmas plan blew away and here I am, slowly recovering for New Year. Thanks. Great.

So I apologize for taking quite some time to reply to comments, asks and everything else: until yesterday, I still had some fever and was unable to look at any screen without feeling even more feverish. But today I'm better, so here I am, finally watching and writing about this Aside.

I'll admit it: I was quite curious, because in the first ask, the anon told me there was a "video (?)", while the other talked about an episode. Me, being the cynical person I am, immediately thought it was Mr. Sander's new Christmas ad for his new sweaters.

But, to my joy, it was not. Glad to know that Mr. Sanders can do something SaSi-related that is not just an ad.

Honestly, this Aside is way, WAY better than the previous one. The characters' personalities are better, the interactions are better, everything is better. Even the moral and the writing of the episode are better.

Sure, there are still a few things here and there I do not like, but compared to the previous Aside, they're way less. Still, I will mention them all because of intellectual honesty and because it doesn’t make sense to ignore the bad to focus on the good only.

_______________________________

Where the fuck does everyone live?

The episode starts: Logan calls everyone, says they will do a Secret Santa and that "Janus and Remus will join us today".

First of all, I can understand why Virgil is groaning, but why Roman is groaning too? He got Janus for the Secret Santa, so he should already know Janus is joining them today. Otherwise, how was he supposed to give him his gift? By mailing it? I know it's a small inconsistency, but this is a small episode too, so there shouldn't be inconsistencies at all.

Second, Logan talks about Remus and Janus joining them, by saying that "they'll get here" and that "they came all this way to spend Christmas with us".

For me, this raises A LOT of questions because Logan uses the kind of language you would use if your aunts/grandparents come to visit you on Christmas - i.e. if someone who lives far away from you comes to your place.

But these people all live inside Thomas' mind. So how far do these two live? How does Thomas' mind works? And most importantly: is Thomas copying my headcanons about the mind and the Sides' rooms? In that case:

At least acknowledge you're taking inspiration from me, Mr. Sanders. It's not nice to steal ideas without admitting it.

When I said the mind is vast, I also explained that the Sides can move fairly quickly between planes and Janus can even jump from Unconscious to Subconscious in seconds. I also explained that Logan doesn't know how many actual planes there are in the mind, so why should he say that Janus and Remus had to come "all this way" to meet them, if he doesn't know how big "all this way" is?

If Mr. Sanders isn't inspired but he just decided now that the mind is huge (which contradicts his past idea, since he said in the past that the Sides live in rooms and every room changes according to the space Thomas is), at least offer more details about this new idea and think about them. You can't just change your canon and go with it. That's writing 101, you should already know that.

_______________________________

Janus has been replaced by his drunk doppelganger

I explained in my last post why Janus being a wine mom is funny and the reason is that it's subtle. It's not thrown in the face.

So no, Janus showing a massive wine bottle isn't funny, nor subtle. It's exactly what I meant by "thrown in your face".

And this saddens me because... do you remember his introduction? His first episodes? How suave he was? How focused he was on being this mysterious, charming, dark figure?

Ah yes, exactly like he is now: a laughing, bubbling, drunk idiot.

Seriously, does this look like the same character to you? Does this look like the same guy?

I don't know if Thomas didn't know how to handle Janus or straight-up forgot who he was supposed to be. In that case, please allow me to remind you all that Janus was supposed to be the bearer of Thomas' secrets, the embodiment of lies and (probably), the one who hides the last Side. Do you think this kind of figure should act more like a suave, mysterious guy or like a drunk idiot?

And yes, I know “alcohol funny ah ah”, but Janus is the last Side who should be a heavy drinker, considering how much self-control he needs and what kind of jobs he has.

It’s just sad to see such a character being mishandled like that, you know?

_______________________________

Patton's gift and the true Creativity

You know, people blamed Patton for giving Remus an air fryer because "it's the gift you give when you don't really know someone" and bla bla bla... but that's all bullshit and the reason is very simple: Remus is a creative force.

Yes, that's it, that's all you need. Remus is a creative force and to a creative force you can feed literally anything. It doesn't matter if it's an air fryer, a 200$ painting set or a single needle, Remus would've found a way to use all of them. Heck, Patton could've gifted him literal trash and Remus would've found a way to use that too.

Also if you notice, Remus doesn't hate the gift, on the contrary: he's extremely curious about it, he asks what he can fry inside it and when he leaves, he already has plans on how to use it. That's how Creativity works. That's how Remus works. And that proves what a great Creativity he is.

Remus truly is the best character.

_______________________________

Remus' gift and the unexpected wholesomeness

Listen, I'm not biased towards Remus... okay, maybe a little bit. But still, his gift is wholesome and here's why:

it's handmade! I mean, even if it's disgusting, he spent time making it by himself. That proves he cares about Virgil so much, to spend his time making something for him

It's handmade, which proves Remus is a creative force, because what's more creative than making something yourself?

Mr Fuzzy is probably the offspring of one of the Great Old Ones, considering it’s a monstrosity with too many eyes, no clear shape and its real name is something similar to the name of the Great Old Ones themselves

Mr Fuzzy is made with the stuff in the shower drain and that proves it's probably the offspring of Cthulhu because, you know, water

Virgil knows Remus gives a name to the stuff in his shower drain and that's like proof no. #700 they know each other very well

Remus is saving Virgil from Cthulhu, because when it wakes up, it will probably spare Virgil for taking care of its demonic offspring.

And most importantly:

M̶̨̖͈̟͕̰̠̀͑̊̓̍̒̅͠r̸̘̲̜̖͆͗̇͛͑͂́ ̶̼͎̽̓̊͗F̴̫̈́̈́̈́̔͆̀̎̈͘ụ̶̉z̵̧̢̜̖̘̩͒̎͛́͘ẑ̴̺̺͓̩̝͎͙̖̳̓̈́̇̄̈ͅy̶͕̱͔͖̿ͅ ̴̦̼͓͎͕̩̆̓́͑͠͠d̶͙͚̩͇̳̑̑͂͒̂̏͛̏̚ǫ̶̦̘̦̺̣̬͎͐ẽ̷̮̯͚͎̾̽̊̋s̴̛̟̮̻̱͕̗̼̹̭̐̐́̌̋͋̄̈́́n̶̡̢͓̺̔'̵̨̯̤̬̜͇̭̅́t̵̪͛̈̃̐͝ ̷̡̠̤̱͈̳̎͆͝͝͠ḽ̶̚i̶̯̱̙̟̼̪̭̳̹̅̎͋͋̓̊͗̇͛͌ǩ̷̪͘e̷͎̖̦̔̒̿̎ ̵͚̩̄̈́͑̑̾͆̇̒̎b̴̨̛͙͈̱̙̗̰̗̎̀̔̿̎̔͝ẽ̸̡̥̫̂̍̒̋́́̂͘̚ȋ̵̧̛͎̩̫͉̰̋͐̄̈́͊̐̀̑͜n̷̩̻͚͇̰̝̣̠̈̀g̵̺͉̔̈́̊͒̓̃̉̚͘͜ ̶̺̳͓͕͔̱͗͆̓̐̑̚͝͝d̷̬̘͚̘̬̣̭̙̼̃̏̓̾̔̌̀̍̽r̷̛̩̮̞̜̟̐͂́͘͜ͅo̸̧̢̗̝̣͙̘̟͆̀̊̃̉͌͜͠p̵̛̻̠͍̑̅̀́̈́p̷̨̡̖̙͙̥̹̥̞̓͋̈́̽̀e̶̡̳̣̟̖͐̒̾̿̐͝d̸̖͋͆̽̃̐͝

Partially related to that: I have a tiny little headcanon about Remus creating ungodly abominations and naming them like the Great Old Ones (like having a pet abomination called Shubby as reference to Shub-Niggurath). So seeing this little ball of fears and terrors made me kinda happy. What can I say? Somehow, my headcanons are always canon.

_______________________________

Virgil's gift and the problems with it

As soon as Logan proved he wasn't happy with Virgil's gift, instead of adding something more like "But, really, read the newspaper", Virgil kept silent and let Janus and Remus push Logan with their "o-oh, I bet you're angry, get angry".

Was it a reference to WTIT? If it was, then it was a lame one.

Virgil is anxious, fine, but he's not an idiot. And he has a way with words. So, why didn't he say something to make it clearer that there was something in the newspaper? Honestly, when he handed it to Logan, I thought the newspaper was the wrap and that there was something inside it: why Logan didn't think the same? Am I more clever than the embodiment of logic himself?

And, again, why is Virgil such an asshole? Seriously, what if Logan threw the newspaper away? What would Virgil do, then? Show the gift anyway? Not show it? Tell Logan there was supposed to be a puzzle and make him feel guilty (which would've been a huge dick move, because it was Virgil's fault, not Logan's)? Honestly, no idea.

It's just... sad to see Virgil acting like an asshole without a reason. Virgil isn't like that.

_______________________________

Logan's gift and the conceptual value of money

The mere fact Roman asked what he was supposed to do with 20$ proves that:

he's a worse Creativity than Remus

he doesn't deserve money

I already explained why you can feed anything to Creativity and Creativity would find a way to use it, so the first point is already covered.

Speaking of the second one, if I give someone money and they ask me what they should do with that, I would immediately take the money back because they clearly don't know the value of money. Money embodies basically everything and 20$ embodies everything you can buy with them.

So when you gift someone money, you don't gift them a piece of paper: you gift them a paint, a book, a toolbox, a dress, a dinner, a jewel. Gifting money means gifting all the endless possibilities enclosed in the money's value.

In other words, Logan's gift was the perfect hommage to Creativity: since you are a creative force, I give you everything you can have within this value. He literally gave Roman everything! What's more fitting for a Creativity?

The only flaw I can find in this, is that Logan and Roman are not real people, but mental representations, so they don't really need actual money. But if we consider the 20$ as a conceptual gift exactly because 20$ represents the countless possibilities they embody... then they work too.

And speaking some more about gifting money, this is truly the best gift, imho. For years people kept gifting me shitty books because "you like to read". So I had to accept stupid book after stupid book, pile them up, sell them and get the money to finally buy decent books. Instead of forcing me to do this stupid charade, they could've gifted me money straight away.

So my advice is: gift people money. Or gift cards. Or at least include a receipt, so if the other person doesn't like your gift, they can exchange it for something they like more with the same value.

Or, even simpler, just ask what the other person wants. Ask, it’s easier! Your gift won't be the most surprising thing ever, but it will surely be appreciated and used. I know, I do the same with my family every year. And, every year, the gifts are always super appreciated.

_______________________________

Janus' gift and how it was the most fitting one

When I saw the smaller box inside the bigger one, I imagined three different outcomes for this:

there will be an infinite number of boxes inside other boxes and we will see Patton unwrapping them on an even smaller level until he has to unwrap them atom by atom and it will never end

in the last box there will be a wedding ring because moceit is fucking canon

in the last box there will be an actual nice gift

For a moment I really thought we would've seen a wedding ring, but it turned out Janus knows Patton better than his friends - which is not surprising, considering how they keep treating him like an idiot.

And, honestly, I don't find anything wrong with this gift. it's nice, it's funny, it comes from the heart, it's exactly what Patton likes. And it matches Janus' personality too! He appears with something big but it makes you question it, because it’s too light: you assume it's fake, he's lying, he's mocking you. But if you insist, you keep going, see "past the lie", you will find the real gift: smaller than a huge gift, but much more meaningful.

It's perfect for Janus and it's the perfect gift he could've given to Patton. Seriously, I cannot understand how Thomas manages to make the best and the worst decisions about Janus at the same time. It takes a real mastery to do that.

_______________________________

Roman's gift and fuck the main plot

Okay, the bitchslap was funny... until I remembered that we probably won't get any closure about Roman mocking Janus for his name and Janus telling him he's the evil twin. All water under the bridge, I suppose. Glad to know it ended up like this, with a snap and nothing. That’s exactly what I wanted to see, not Roman growing insane, imprisoning Janus and threatening to kill him. Definitely not.

I'm not one to brag but oh gosh, I'm so happy I wrote my own take on the season 2 finale.

About the real gift: okay, Roman gave him an actual gift. That surprises me even more considering... well, POF. But hey, apparently POF is water under the bridge and it looks like WTIT is water under the bridge as well, because Roman isn't angry with Patton anymore. Wow, *so glad* to know so many stakes have been so brutally thrown on the ground like that. Great choice, definitely worth of a good writer.

Also: is this Janus really cold-blooded? Is he? Are you, weird, drunk doppelganger? I'm sorry, but every time I see this guy, I'm so confused by him almost being like the real one, I feel like I need to question him about everything.

_______________________________

How to solve a problem without even trying

Oh, I absolutely *adore* how Logan just goes "Uh, I have a lot of data, hey Roman wanna help? You know, making creativity and logic cooperate? It's not like it's a big deal a cooperation between us".

Ah yes, that's exactly what I wanted to see. Not Logan rejecting creativity because he's unable to see how he can be useful to it, not Remus forcing him to deal with the creative aspect for a little while, not Logan pushing his love for art down to the point he breaks, not to see him breaking down, not to see him slowly learning how to accept creativity in his life and how he can be useful for it...

This is a very, very personal opinion so you can disagree with it, but I find it extremely insulting to see Logan just casually offering a collaboration to Roman. If you read FSS3 you know how long it took me to develop this concept of "logic, art and creativity" and how Logan managed to work alongside Roman and Remus only in episode 13. Episode fucking 13 of 18 total.

For me, this was a HUGE theme. One of the most important because, hey, we're talking about creativity and logic, two of the most important aspects of every human being. This is the essence of humanity. And these two characters both have a lot to learn, so their cooperation perfectly connects with their personal growth...

But hey, apparently that's not an important topic for Mr. Sanders, fuck all of this, let's solve the topic with one single line.

Again: don't like to brag but oh gosh, I'm so happy I wrote my own take on the season 2 finale and the season 3.

_______________________________

Nico is even denser than Thomas

"What's the message?". Seriously. What could the message ever be. Coming from the guy that, when you met him, told you you looked cute and wanted to have a chance with you. The same guy you gifted a necklace.

Clearly the message is "I want to play Scrabble with you on the weekends" and not "I love you, you fucking moron". Clearly.

I don't like to brag, but at least my Nico was much more clever than this idiot.

_______________________________

So... was it good?

It was. It was a good Aside. I even managed to watch it twice, which is a huge improvement compared to the previous one.

The Sides are better than before, they're more IC too - except for Janus, who has been replaced by this weird drunk doppelganger.

The message isn't stupid nor out of the world, but it actually serves a purpose in the story of the episode itself. And yes, I know this is the bare minimum in terms of writing, but considering the last episode, this is WAY better.

The writing is better too, except for a couple inconsistencies (like Roman groaning despite knowing the dark boys will join).

What suffers the most is the connection to the main plot. This Aside supposedly takes place after WTIT (and that other Aside), but as we can see, there are no stakes left. No huge resentment between the Core Sides, no huge resentment between Roman and Janus. Logan calmed as well, Virgil too.

In other words: we reached the same situation pre-Janus introduction. They're all there, they argue and work together and sometimes do stupid shit and sometimes they do not. The climax of the story has been flattened out, to revert to the initial situation.

Did I expect it to happen? Honestly, yes. After three years of nothing and with Thomas being clearly more interested in carefree/comedy videos, of course this would happen.

Do I expect to see drama in the season 2 finale? At this point, I would be surprised if we ever see a season 2 finale. Probably Thomas will wait forever for inspiration to strike and, in the meantime, feed us an endless number of Asides with funnier, carefree topics, so he can enjoy his time and constantly postpone the drama.

Drama requires more work, after all. Drama requires attention, focus, precision. Comedy can be made like this, with a fun video written in a couple days. Drama needs to connect threads and do it properly.

I said it three times already but trust me, it's a huge fucking relief to know my whole take of season 3 exists, because thanks to that, you can see want I mean, when I say things like "creativity and logic's cooperation is a huge topic" or when I talk about how Janus should be handled. My work is far from perfect, sure, but imho, it's better than this. And this is a personal opinion, so you can disagree as much as you want.

(Speaking of that, I scheduled for December 29th my last post about FSS3, in which I add a couple of things regarding the future of SaSi, so... just keep an eye out for that)

That doesn’t mean I am blaming Thomas for making this Aside or for enjoying comedy more than drama. That’s perfectly fine and he can do anything he wants. Heck, this Aside is good too, so I’m not blaming him for that.

The only thing that saddens me is to see how we casually reverted to the beginning, with no real stakes anymore. We’re just… here, enjoying a comedy show. Which is not inherently bad per se, because there are a ton of great comedy shows. But considering what we saw and what SaSi could’ve been… it leaves a bitter taste, to see such great potential being ignored to revert the show's possible growth.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

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[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 74, I'm sorry I’ve been so inconsistent

Jason was sat on the roof of the big house, his head pounded with the pain that had become so common after the war, still he ignored it and drank more of the beer that he'd found. Was it illegal? Sure, but demigods tended to not follow the law too well. He watched the stars, ticking off all the constellations he saw mentally until he found leo, he just stared for who knows how long thinking of the son of Hephaestus. Maybe it wasn't the best life but for a demigod this was as good as it would get, alone and drunk on a rooftop thinking of you're lover while the world fell apart around you, the war may be over but that meant just about nothing. Still the son of Jupiter had tuned out everything around him, things seemed to be looking up, well as much as they could when your best friend is in a coma. He'd gotten a boyfriend, he'd actually talked to someone about camp Jupiter, hell he'd even enrolled in a school, even though he wasn't certain he would live long enough to go. He took another sip before he saw Reyna running, possibly in tears. Something had to have happened but his brain couldn't come up with any sort of answer,

"Reyna! What happened? Are you okay?" He didn't get an answer, but heard the sound of footsteps behind him, turning around he saw the preator of Rome sit down next to him.

"Your fucking sister asked me out." Her head was screaming, she knew it was wrong, it was disgusting. Still in her mind she saw the girls electric blue eyes and wished she could say yes, she told that part to shut up, it was gross, it was... well it was fucking illegal.

"What did you say?"

"NO! Obviously?! I'm not a dyke like her."

"What the fuck did you say?"

"I said I'm not a fucking dyke."

"Don't use that word again, don't call my sister that again or else I'll make you wish you were dead."

"What is wrong with you Jason? It's disgusting."

"Does Nico disgust you then?" She'd never thought twice about accepting the son of Hades, he'd been like her younger brother; but they all said it was bad, every Roman she'd grown up with had said that.

"N-no, of course not."

"What about me? Am I a little faggot that should be hung?" She went still, he couldn't be, but, fuck. She didn't know what she thought anymore, if he hated her she couldn't live with herself. She couldn't say a word, it was as if she'd been frozen in place, she tried to speak but no words would come, she needed to apologise but not a single part of her knew how. "FUCKING ANSWER ME REYNA!"

"No! I'm sorry, I'm really fucking sorry."

"But you're not are you? You're not sorry about every person you watched get hung, you're not sorry about the people you hurt after trying to keep that rule, you're not sorry about everything that happened in camp and I know you're not fucking sorry about my sister."

"I am, I am now, Jason please, don't hate me."

"Why? Why does it matter to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Aren't I just like the rest of the people you would have killed if you'd had the chance?"

"You're my best friend."

"So does that mean you don't care that I'm gay? Is it only wrong when it's someone you don't like?"

"It's- just- it's-" It was wrong because that what they had all told her, her father, Circe, the pirates and camp.

"You don't even know, Reyna tell me what's so wrong about it?"

"It's all I've ever been told! I don't know! I don't have an answer!" He put his arms around her, pulling her closer to himself. She could change, she was a good person, she had to be.

"You remember the hangings? Every day I was scared it would happen to me, I worked myself to death. I hated myself, but I refused to be seen as weak. I wanted to tell you, hundreds of times I had been so close but I never did, even after we changed the rules, I was too scared. I guess I was right for that, but I won't let anyone else go through it."

"I'm sorry, for everything. For giving you a hard time when you changed the rule, for what I've said... just for everything."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, you of all people should know that and there are much more important people to apologise to."

"I'll go and find Thalia."

"In the morning, she would kill you on sight." An awkward silence fell between them, neither of them daring to speak after what had just been said, both lost in thoughts.

"How long have you known you were...?" Finally she spoke unable to hold her tongue any longer,

"Since I was twelve." As much as she wished he'd trusted her she knew it was better she hadn't, she hated herself for that.

"I'm sor-"

"What's done is done Reyna, just make sure the campers have an easier time now than before."

"You have my word; I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing before."

***

[scullysflannel]

Howdy, hope this finds you well :)

Just dropping in to ask, as someone who’s only up to season 5 of txf, what exactly is it about season 9 that makes it as irredeemable as it is? I plan to go up to season 8 as this show has consumed my life and I’ve done nothing but think about it since I started, but unlike every other season including the revival and second movie, I’m yet to find so much as a good word about season 9 and am morbidly curious as to how they managed to screw the pouch so completely?

Feel free to ignore this one though I appreciate it’s not always fun to talk about the worst of something you adore.

So the thing about season 9 is just that it's not supposed to exist and you can tell. I think there was some pressure from Fox to keep the show going (I tried finding primary sources on this, but googling anything involving "Fox" and "X-Files" and expecting to get info on the studio is a lost cause), even though the season 8 finale was written to work as a series finale, and even though David Duchovny had already made it clear he was not coming back for season 9. The writers' hands were tied in some ways, because they had to work around not having Duchovny after they'd already used up the best excuse for his absence in the books.

But (a) I don't think that's an excuse for the way Mulder's absence in season 9 is handled, which is vague at best and out of character for him and Scully at worst. It's very "out of sight, out of mind" in a way that especially stands out considering how present he feels in season 8. If it's possible to make a version of The X-Files that isn't driven by Mulder (either in his presence or his absence), they didn't find it in season 9.

And (b) the writers also seemed to be writing like their hands were tied when they weren't. The vibe of some of the choices made in season 9, especially when it comes to Scully's story, is very Eric André holding a smoking gun saying "why would Fox do this." It's like, "well we weren't planning on this, but now we have to do it to keep the story going." And the thing is that they actually did not have to do it. There's a bizarre desperation to the way Scully's story is written in season 9. Almost everything they throw at her is traumatic, but also inconsistent and confusing, which makes it all come across as kind of soulless. And it all builds to the most egregious example of "Chris Carter tries to erase the consequences of a story he wrote, thereby creating even more devastating consequences, which he will also ignore" in the history of the show. He didn't have to do that! Scully could have spent a lot of season 9 just being Doggett and Reyes' deadpan pal who does autopsies and it would have been fine.

The thing that "works" "best" about season 9 is that it's theoretically a fresh start, with Doggett and Reyes running the X-Files office: two characters who weren't totally new faces but whose dynamic was mostly unexplored. And to be clear, I think John Doggett rules. The concept of assigning the X-Files to Just a Guy Who's a Very Good Person but Would Rather Be Watching NASCAR is hilarious. I don't think the writers had the same handle on Reyes, but the two of them are interesting together. I will also say I think some of the monster-of-the-week episodes in season 9 (the ones that focus on Doggett and Reyes) are cooler in theory than the motw episodes in season 8.

But it's so rare for those episodes to actually spark. Maybe part of the problem is that, again, the writers made the totally unforced error to focus so much of the mythology on Stressing Scully Out when they could have been deepening Doggett and Reyes' investment in the X-Files outside Scully, which would also liven up their characterization and their dynamic. Season 8 (which has a lot going for it) can skate by on uninteresting motw episodes because Scully's arc in that season is so all-consuming it drives the story forward and makes it meaningful. Season 9 doesn't have that same emotional clarity, so even the motw episodes that have promise feel lacking. (There's also the fact that even if the writers had given Doggett and Reyes better material, they wouldn't be Mulder and Scully. But better material would have helped.)

There's also literally 9/11. I'm this far down on the list of problems with season 9 and I'm just now getting to 9/11. The X-Files gets its edge from its mistrust of the government, but they sanded that down in season 9 because it was so out of step with the mainstream American audience. Until they finally recommitted to critiquing the government in the (original) series finale, the show didn't feel like itself.

It's not even like the problem is the way season 9 ends. The finale is a mixed bag (it's part clip show lol), but I love the final scene, and in most ways it's a more fitting send-off for the show than the final scene of season 8 is. It's just that getting there feels cursed at every step. No one made it out unscathed. There's an episode directed by Michelle MacLaren (her tv directorial debut!) and written by Vince Gilligan, a Breaking Bad partnership for the ages, and even that's bad. Better Call Saul's own Tom Schnauz wrote an episode featuring Aaron Paul and I will never ever watch it again. There's something in the water in season 9. It's just not supposed to be there.

[euporie-art]

Hellooo there!! I saw your blog description and I am a benbaro shipper who would like to interact with you please! My benbaro obsession has gotten well fed by wonderful artworks and correct thoughts such as yours (thank you!!) recently but I fear my obsession can never be completely sated...

So if you like, feel free to use this ask to express whatever is currently on your mind! Just ramblings or a headcanon or something about benbaro or Barok or Albert separately or TGAA in general that you have thoughts about; this is a free pass to let it out! I'm always curious about how my blorbos look in other people's eyes

OMG HI I have read all of your benbaro fics and they make me fucking AJDJFHWIJFKTOEMTK (a good thing) . I need to get hit by a car. I love them so much

prepare for a whole lot of fucking yap because I am insane about them so much. and I have no job so I kinda just stew them in my brain all day at the moment, among other tgaa pairings and characters

(i honestly very rarely fixate on ships within fandoms. but tgaa gave me 3 pairings I would die for. asoryuu, homumiko, and benbaro. they all make me insane I'm going to eat drywall)

I think about them a lot. I don't even know where to start.

so I'll go w some dumb headcanons. sprinkling in some pretty bad drawings.tbh (please ignore how inconsistent my art style is)

I think some time after tgaa2 he moves back to England and lives with barok, who obviously has more than enough money to spend on him, so Albert grows his hair out again (he has a very stupid hat/helmet thing he wears to protect his hair if he's working on something potentially dangerous)

First off I think Albert had long hair in university. most of the time when people draw him in uni he looks almost identical to his 2-3 design WHICH IS FAIR AND NOT BAD! but I have some thoughts of my own

pray forgive the discourtesy of this looking shit I drew it quite quickly. but. I think he had long hair in university and was a little more particular about his appearance. however i do think he had pretty bad acne in his late teens. the acne was just a hormonal teenager thing and cleared up by his 20s.

After moving abroad I think he cut his hair short because he had less time to look after it, and wanted to put any money he had towards funding his inventions, so he did pretty much the bare minimum when it came to looking after himself (I must clarify I do think that Albert is attractive, this is not me trying to "yassify" him. I have a soft spot for cute nerdy guys I'm dating one but he likes Elden ring instead of science)

because he's pretty much been alone for like. a decade. and basically just spoke in Law Words for half of that. I think barok is very direct and literal with how he speaks so he worries about not seeming "romantic" enough, so to compensate he's very physically affectionate and likes spoiling albert with nice food, gadgets and supplies for his inventions, and new clothes.

I think barok is extremely clingy once he gets used to having Albert around again. he's like a cat he'll just kind of bonk his head into him sometimes and sadly gaze at him until he gets attention. very cuddly and a bit melodramatic. I love characterisations of barok where he's really pathetic tbh. also him being shy is fun I enjoy it greatly

albert on the other hand I actually think he's the more bold/confident one (I hate when barok is portrayed as a dominant bad boy or whatever its so stupid he literally gets shy when his 10 year old niece invites him to dinner). albert talks baroks ear off about anything and everything, humours his clingyness, and drags him outside to have a life beyond his job and engage in whimsy and fun . he's also very verbally affectionate I think. he makes sure to try and help barok feel less alone, because I think he has lingering guilt for not being there during the professor bullshit and klints death. it may have been after he left England for Germany, and he didn't even know when it was happening, but i think he has a lingering, irrational guilt for not being there for barok at his worst hour

ALSO a lot of the time I see people drawing Albert talking a lot about science shit w barok listening happily, but I also think it goes the other way too! I think barok will rant about wine pairings and different types of grapes n shit. Albert stares at him lovestruck and adoringly the whole time. he has no idea what a pinot noir is (neither do I, I don't drink)

final thing or I will be here all fucking day: my boyfriend and I came up with a headcanon that barok has a really pathetic looking Italian greyhound named petunia, he likes dressing her up in little outfits. I think when albert starts living with him he starts calling petunia their daughter, and has the ability to make the exact same sad and pathetic expression as the dog

jk tiny bonus: I have a very dumb "100 years on" au stewing in my brain where everything is set in the 1980s and 1990s instead of 1880s and 1890s. in the 80s section, when barok and Albert are in university together, barok is a sulky and mopey trad goth and they listen to The Cure together. albert dresses normal and listens to talking heads i think. this is stupidly self indulgent because I like 80s fashion and clothing. I have not even thought about the 90s section because I don't want to 😊 (I HATE 90S FASHION.)

[generalluxun]

I think the reason why Chloe is so controversial in the fandom is that both sides can be toxic. Some Chloe stans are toxic and jerks, but some of the toxic Chloe haters are no better. They act like toxic Chloe stans by shaming, harassing and bullying people who do like her. They also cannot respect opinions as well. These are just my thoughts.

There are several reasons I think.

Clearly there are people who project themselves onto Marinette and then project their own personal bully experiences onto Chloé. Without actual therapy or time+healing on their own, these people will never accept any reasoned argument about Chloé as a character, because to them she isn't a character, she is their personal bully. The transference supplants the actual narrative.

There are definitely toxic behaviors among some of the people who claim to like Chloé too. I do think there's value in breaking down the who and why though.

There are the pot stirrers: These people actually don't care about Chloé per-se they just see a hot take and jump on it, hoping to cause as much trouble as they can. These folks aren't really 'Chloé stans' heck, they probably aren't even ML fans. They're instigators. It's important to recognize one when you see them and simply pitch their noise into the bin 'Chloé did nothing wrong!' is such a silly and clearly wrong take that it can only be from one of these folks.

There are those who are frustrated: I lay the blame for this segment squarely at Thomas Astruc's feet. He makes bold, dismissive, and authoritative statements, escalating all the way to open gaslighting when confronted, or even just lightly questioned in regards to Chloé's character.

'Chloé is not abused' -SIR, please consult someone with even the rudiments of child development education and review what has actually been put on screen. I know whether I am going to believe you, or my lying eyes. Thank you.

His antics and the narrative in general ignoring what has already been put on screen frustrates a LOT of people, and deeply so. Child abuse isn't a light topic, people have *feelings* about it. TA is unreachable and unengagable though, and so a chunk of people turn their frustrations elsewhere. They lash out at other characters, and by proxy their stans, and you get this whole negative feedback loop in the fandom while I presume TA just sits back with a drink in hand, throwing darts at pictures of blond girls, and laughing.

There are those who can't express themselves well: Remember this is a kids show so a large chunk of the fandom is well, unsurprisingly, kids! Kids without the raw learning to necessarily articulate their arguments with nuance. This is how you get a dozen tweets to Ta asking 'When is Chloé going to get some development?' to which he can derisively reply 'She has, you just don't like it!' and durr hurr hurr isn't he so clever.

If the fan had instead put forth clear concise examples of the abuse on screen, how it ties into actual child development practices, how they want this *child* to be shown growing and overcoming these huge hurdles because you know, they're decent human beings, and their confusion as to why a show about superheroes/Magical girls hasn't done that.... well, it would be harder to dismiss.

Take that exchange, and now instead shift it to folks among the fandom themselves. Short, sweeping statements that don't really express what they are feeling effectively. This happens between Adrien/Mari stans when they fight too. Not every 13yr old should be expected to know college level Psyche, but it can lead to miscommunication and then acrimony when they engage without it.

I want to point out this also works for things not involving Chloé at all.

Marinette stans trying to explain why they feel Marinette is so put upon while others argue that she gets everything and *Adrien* is the put upon one, all getting into protracted battles while shouting half-formed ideas and confused impressions from an inconsistent and poorly framed narrative at each other.

Is Marinette a Mary Sue who is handed things in a silver platter? *YES*

Is she ALSO an emotional damage magnet, abused by the narrative relentlessly and blamed for things not her fault? *YES*

These two ideas can both exist at the same time, but a lot of people have a hard time juggling that, so we get arguments and toxicity because this is the internet and too much is never enough of anything.

[marveltaughtmetoread]

I think the crux of the disconnect between Prequels era fans is that the Jedi supporters believe the Jedi are good and right, and it is on this that we should support, and the Jedi critical fans are like no one in this era is good and right, including the Jedi, and the fact that you won't admit the Jedi are wrong is driving us insane

Because frequently when Jedi supporters are arguing with me, they are dismissing the notion that the Jedi could ever do anything wrong and then bring up how awful Anakin is as a way to say I am wrong, because I support Anakin

Which I don't support Anakin????

I like him, he is an incredibly compelling character especially as someone who knows what it is like to repress your feelings and want so badly to hold onto the ones who care for you

But I don't support him, it's actually because I relate to him that I don't, I wish I could save him, I have compassion for him, but he killed people, he committed genocide, twice??? In the Prequels??? He is exactly the type of person who terrifies me in real life, I don't support him

My love of his character writing does not mean that I am overlooking his clear moral failings or even that agree with him, because I don't, I actually love his character more because he is written to be so flawed morally, he is an exploration of emotional repression and how wanting power, even if it is to save someone else can still make you a bad person, it is this complexity that drew me to him as a character

I am drawn to morally complex characters in spite of the fact that their actions go against my morals, because I personally find morally complex characters to be more compelling

So why then, if I like morally flawed characters do I have such an issue with the Jedi and their morals in particular

Quite simply, it's the way they aren't written (especially in the Clone Wars) with that same moral complexity, they are written as if they are moral good

And it is this framing of them that a lot of Jedi supporters have clearly sided with and made their reason to support the Jedi, they believe the Jedi are good and believe that fans should support morally good characters so they can't understand why I wouldn't support them

But the Jedi aren't morally good and I find the inability to acknowledge that alarming

The Prequels movies do a much better job of showing how their inaction leads to bad things, but even in the Prequels there isn't a full of acknowledgement of how far they have fallen

Whereas the Clone Wars just doesn't acknowledge it, at all, they flatten the story down so it has no moral complexity, they have clear cut good guys and bad guys, the Jedi are the good guys, no matter what, the bad guys are the Sith, their is the occasional attempt at making the morality of the Clone Wars more grey but it is inconsistent, and overall the approach is a binary

The issue is, in painting the Jedi as morally good, the Prequels era glosses over how they aren't, they aren't objectively good, no one in the Prequels era but in pretending that they are, you make the meta around the canon morally complex

You have people defending the Jedi's use of the clones, choice to ignore slaves and chain themselves to the Repiy, handling of Anakin and the Padawans in general, involvement in the war and everything else because the Jedi are framed as good guys

I have yet to meet anyone defending Anakin's actions because he is so clearly framed as the guy falling to the Dark Side, we are meant to mourn his fall but we aren't meant to think he was in the right

Not everything the Jedi did is bad, but enough is that placing them on a pedestal and calling them the heroes, acting like they don't deserve this slander when Jedi critical fans are just pointing out how the Jedi are morally compromised, is messed up

There is no moral high ground when it comes to the Prequels, everyone compromises themselves (including Padme, she stayed with Anakin,), but some fans want to act like there is and so we have a disconnect