#euporie answers

[euporie-art]

I just have this image in my head of yujin having literal diagrams pulled out like “it is not biologically POSSIBLE”

and then herlock being like “ok but I just don’t understand why you think we couldn’t find a workaround if we put our two minds together and *really tried*… we’re the two smartest people in london-”

[euporiez]

BENBARO SPOTTED

[barschter000]

(this is my main blog I am @euporie-art)

hi I am sorry 2 bother you but whenever you reblog my art you always put very nice tags on it and it makes me quite happy

I am thinking. about vampire benbaro. do you have any thoughts on them.

Hello!!!!! You're no bother at all, I'm actually very happy to hear from you again!! :D

I'm glad my silly reblog tag ramblings can make you happy! :)

I actually (and unfortunately) don't have that many thoughts on them (edit from the future: yeah sure buddy) because I don't think about Vampire AUs very often even though it's a classic and it works great with them. Generally, I absolutely agree that Albert should be the vampire because that is 100% the funnier option. Otherwise, my thoughts overlap with this post and are as follows:

Albert has a tapetum lucidum on his eyes, the thing animals with improved night vision have that makes their eyes glow when hit by light. I'm always a big fan of Albert being a little weird and freaky.

Since bats eat fruit and insects too and Albert is pretty constantly low on food (see linked post), he has eaten bugs. He regrets it sometimes but they are a good source for protein.

For funsies, I like to imagine him being able to walk up walls Hotel Transylvania-style because he is definitely the type of guy to start pacing while thinking and so he ends up on the ceiling.

I am consultung old Discord messages about this for this answer and past me said that apparently bats are colorblind (though it might not be all of them) and so Albert is too!

Absolute favorite of mine: BATS CAN PURR!! ALBERT CAN PURR!!!

Here are some more or less useful biting places: The most useful and sensible one is of course the vein in the crook of Barok's arm which isn't very romantic but practical. The jugular veins in the throat are of course a classic among vampire enthusiasts but because there is so much blood flowing through it, it would definitely require medical attention afterwards. But one can alter reality in fiction, as a treat. Also there is the femoral artery that runs through the thigh and aside from it being hard to access (especially since Barok's legs are so muscular), I think Barok would die and not only from bloodloss. Other than that, the saliva of vampire bats contains anticoagulants that prevent blood from clotting, so that's in Albert's saliva too.

Albert can communicate with the bats in Barok's office. (In my world, Barok named them all after female characters from operas because he doesn't know which bat is male or female but he noticed they were reproducing, so he just gave them female names. Perhaps Albert can clear up the mystery.)

Since Albert doesn't really have blood unless he feeds, he doesn't really have body heat but when he's fed, he is also able to blush and I think seeing your boy best friend blushing with your own blood inside his cheeks would also kill Barok.

As I mentioned in our previous benbaro thought exchange, I take Barok as having been a huge vampire nerd, so having a vampire boyfriend is like a dream come true to him. It also opens new possibilities of taking care of and protecting Albert which he likes doing because it's an easier way for him to express that he cares about him.

Also here is a meme I made because I think Albert would travel most safely in daylight as a bat and to not lose him in the busy streets of London, Barok puts him in his breastpocket.

On a final note, here is my favorite vampire!Albert fic!

Pray forgive the discourtesy of this being more ben than baro or benbaro throughts, I hope me loving to think about the logistics of non-human stuff was still entertaining. I'd love to hear your vampire benbaro thoughts!! :)

[albertharebrayne]

Ah! Hello! Welcome to my askblog!

I suppose you're here because you have some questions to ask me regarding my hypothesis? Or perhaps my other work? Please, by all means! I'm quite happy to answer any questions you may have!

OOC: hiiii, this blog is run by @itbringsoutmyeyes, but my art acc is @euporie-art!! I mainly post tgaa fanart :3

I use he/him Pronouns and I am 18

suggestive asks are allowed, but pleaaaase be normal. only when directed at him, not me. I'm an adult but don't be weird.

interactions from other characters and askblogs are welcome!! even if they aren't tgaa! I might not know the character tho

You can ask ship-related questions if you really want to but I'm a diehard benbaro shipper and I don't really have any interest in other romantic pairings involving him

timeline is flexible, but unless your question specifies a certain time in canon, I'll default to when he's visiting barok in the credits of tgaa2.

A few headcanons that I might bring up in responses:

●Albert is the 3rd eldest of 5 children (2 older brothers, 2 younger twin sisters)

● he's originally from manchester

●he drinks a lot of black coffee

I sincerely apologise if I mischaracterise him at any point I'm not used to role-playing, I haven't done that shit since I was like 11 or something so. yeah.

[figjelly]

@saberwitch replied to your post: @saberwitch replied to your post: I’m up late... I know it was a dumb ask so thanks for answering it even though HOLY FUCK 67 MOONS BEING A WEREWOLF ON JUPITER WOULD FUCKING SUCK

Okay, so let’s break it down: 1 Jupiter year (revolution around the sun) ~= 12 Earth years (on Jupiter, I’m still a toddler which makes a lot of fucking sense actually) 1 Jupiter day (rotation on axis) ~= 10 hours Breakdown of 63/67 moons cycles around Jupiter: 1 Metis 7h 4m 29s 2 Adrastea 7h 9m 30s 3 Amalthea 11h 57m 22.67s 4 Thebe 16h 11m 17s 5 Io 1.77 days 6 Europa 3.55 days 7 Ganymede 7.15 days 8 Callisto 16.69 days 9 Themisto 129.87 days 10 Leda 241.75 days 11 Himalia 250.37 days 12 Lysithea 259.89 days 13 Elara 261.14 days 14 S/2000 J 11 287.93 days 15 Carpo 458.62 days 16 S/2003 J 12 482.69 days 17 Euporie 538.78 days 18 S/2003 J 3 561.52 days 19 S/2003 J 18 569.73 days 20 Thelxinoe 597.61 days 21 Euanthe 598.09 days 22 Helike 601.40 days 23 Orthosie 602.62 days 24 Iocaste 609.43 days 25 S/2003 J 16 610.36 days 26 Praxidike 613.90 days 27 Harpalyke 624.54 days 28 Mneme 627.48 days 29 Hermippe 629.81 days 30 Thyone 639.80 days 31 Ananke 642.02 days 32 S/2003 J 17 672.75 days 33 Aitne 679.64 days 34 Kale 685.32 days 35 Taygete 686.67 days 36 S/2003 J 19 699.12 days 37 Chaldene 699.33 days 38 S/2003 J 15 699.68 days 39 S/2003 J 10 700.13 days 40 S/2003 J 23 700.54 days 41 Erinome 711.96 days 42 Aoede 714.66 days 43 Kallichore 717.81 days 44 Kalyke 721.02 days 45 Carme 721.82 days 46 Callirrhoe 722.62 days 47 Eurydome 723.36 days 48 Pasithee 726.93 days 49 Cyllene 731.10 days 50 Eukelade 735.20 days 51 S/2003 J 4 739.29 days 52 Pasiphaë 741.09 days 53 Hegemone 745.50 days 54 Arche 746.19 days 55 Isonoe 750.13 days 56 S/2003 J 9 752.84 days 57 S/2003 J 5 758.34 days 58 Sinope 762.33 days 59 Sponde 771.60 days 60 Autonoe 772.17 days 61 S/2003 J 14 776.02 days 62 Megaclite 792.44 days 63 S/2003 J 2 1077.02 days  Basically, you’d end up with different subspecies of werewolves with this fucking system. Some would be purebred Arche Werewolves (once about every two years, lavish ceremony). Some would be changing all the fucking time (honestly, those first three moons would make sure you’d be in werewolf mode all the time so maybe Jovian Werewolves are just the natural order of things???). Yeah, just pretend Jupiter is nothing but werewolves. (Also, I feel like I should make an obligatory aside that Jupiter Ascending is amazing).

[euporie-art]

Hello!! I saw you'd like to have some benbaro requests, so I am hereby requesting some big-nosed Barok appreciation, maybe Albert cupping his face and kissing the bridge of his nose? Alternatively, perhaps some old man yaoi benbaro? I do greatly enjoy your old man Barok design... Alternatively, use this request as an excuse to draw whatever you feel like at the moment! Have fun! :3

Hii!!

I love old man yaoi benbaro and I love big nose Barok so you get both! plus a self indulgent new romanticy gothy drawing of them thrown in for fun

dot eyes barok is funny to add when hes flustered

[euporie-art]

you should draw this but as nyan zieks

you're right I should!

[euporie-art]

Mayhaps some old menbaros dancing? :3

congrats on being the first of three to request this

i decided to get silly with the colours for no discernable reason so have both whatever that is and a plain version

[euporie-art]

Merry BenBaromas

merry drebmas :3

[euporiez]

snopping snaturday

SNOPPING SNATURDAY............. OUGGQHAGHAGAHA THANK YOU....

[euporie-art]

do you tyink Benbaro

yes <3

[euporie-art]

draw iris

sorry it took so long I forgor 💔 here's iris in a dress I found in a fashion plate from 1904 :3

[euporiez]

Since you’re the one who left the tags on that post I figured I would send it to you

DELIGHTFUL!!! THANK YOU

[euporie-art]

fucking bnuuy

FYERIOHGHERHGUIDFURRHRH[H[GERERO[GHURGO THE G HTURBR BGUI THE RUIBFBUOEBO HAHFBIBPHORIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[euporie-art]

truco o trato!!!!!

these kinda ended up sucking but here u go enjoy!!! enochs for you

[euporiez]

i just hurled my barok and drebber charms at the wall

WHAT DID BAROK DOOOOO

drebber deserved it tho do it again