#just give me james potter pls

[miyagic]

Family Isn't Blood

James Potter x reader

SUMMARY: James tells his girlfriend jokes, inspired by the ones his father uses to tell his mother, really stupids and not funny at all, but all you can think about is how cute he is to think they are actually funny, what makes you understand something.

MARAUDERS MASTERLIST a/n: You don't have a defined house. Remus and Sirius aren't dating, but they have a thing.

a/n: this is justt fluff, I didn't liked so much, but alright. Tell me what you think!

w/c: 1k

English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes!!

JAMES looked at Euphemia, who was making their lunch while he and Fleamont set the table. Sirius is still sleeping, normally James wakes up early (not so much), but today he woke up later than usual.

"You should bring your girlfriend next time, Jamie" Euphemia smiled at him.

"I know, mom. I told her to come, but her parents had already planned the trip." James rolled his eyes slightly.

"What trip?" Fleamont asked, not following the conversations about James' infamous girlfriend with Euphemia.

"[Name] went with his parents to Italy" right after she finishes speaking, Sirius comes down the stairs with the greatest laziness ever seen.

"[Name]? She went to Italy?"

"Yes Pads, she said that in front of you" James scoffed.

"She said?"

"Boys, now I really don't care about Sirius' memory loss, I finished lunch and now let's eat" Effie started bringing the food to the table.

Everyone sat at the table, each eating as much as they wanted. Fleamont then looked at the sodas on the table, and started laughing, leaving everyone else confused.

"Fleamont, what's gotten you?" Euphemia looked at him strangely.

"Guys" he laughs, not finishing the sentence. "Guys... I was thinking about something"

"Here it comes," Effie murmured, sighing.

Fleamont laughs a little more "What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?"

"What?" James spoke.

"A can't opener" Fleamont laughs again as if he had said the funniest joke in the world.

James starts laughing like his father, making Sirius join them, Euphemia also laughs, while shaking her head, but not at the joke itself, but at the chaotic family that she love so much.

———☆———

ON THE RETURN to Hogwarts, James and Sirius met Peter and Remus along the way.

"Prongs," Remus called, "Where is [Name]?"

"She's going with her friends on the train, we'll probably only see each other at Hogwarts" James replies, a little sullenly. "Pads?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember dad's jokes? My mom always laughs"

"Prongs, no" knowing Monty's jokes, and his friend, Remus intervenes, knowing Sirius would probably only encourage it.

"Moons, if my mother, a woman, likes my father's jokes, [Name] would like them too, and me more, right??" Remus and Peter looked at each other.

"Go and get your girl with the jokes, Prongsie!!" Sirius puts his arm around James's shoulders.

"This is going to be a catastrophe" Peter said, shaking his head and Remus just sighed.

———☆———

LATER, at Hogwarts, all the students sit in the main hall, the new students being sorted. This year, so far, most of them have been sorted into Ravenclaw, some Hufflepuffs, some Gryffindors and a few Slytherins.

At the "marauders table", you sat next to James, across from Remus.

“Princess” James looked at you. Trying to remember his dad jokes.

“Jamie” you look at him, maintaining loving eye contact, James’ eyes looked nervous, almost restless, but confident.

"Do you know what you call a can opener that doesn't work?" he tried to copy his father's tone and phrase.

"Um, no?" You furrow your eyebrows, how a can opener doesn't work at all?

"A can't opener" James started laughing again, really looking like he said the funniest thing in the world. Sirius laughed too.

These man's are not normal.

Remus taps his forehead, sighing and shaking his head while Peter grimaces but smiles a little.

James looks at you expectantly, to which you smile widely, but not at the joke itself.

"Did you like it?" his eyes used to shine, James never stopped smiling, his smile bright and full of teeth.

"Yes, I liked it" you smile, not wanting to ruin his happiness, if it's something he likes, you like it too.

James smiles even more, if that were possible and lets out a dreamy sigh, relaxing his shoulders, "my dad usually tells my mom these jokes. They invited you to spend the next vacation there" James takes your hand "you will, right?"

You shake his hand, "of course, if you want me there that much" he kisses your hand.

"Prongs, why don't you tell the one about the dog?" Sirius slams his hand on the table, grinning like a madman. Remus hits him on the head, whispering "stop", Peter chuckles, as Sirius looks at him with his normal drama.

"Ahh yes!! That one is really good" James laughs "Get ready" he clears his throat, you look at Remus with wide eyes, whatever was coming wasn't good. "Oh, what do you call a magical dog?"

Remus shakes his head furiously at you, but James looked so cute that you couldn't resist asking "how?"

"A Labracadabrador" James laughs madly, bringing tears to his eyes, Sirius laughs just as much. Peter laughs a little too, but not as much as Sirius and James. You and Remus looked at each other.

You look at James, he looked so adorable laughing and actually thinking the jokes are good and you can't help but smile sweetly at him.

"Oh" James gasps "I have another one! Calm down" he takes a deep breath. "Why don't koalas count as bears? Because they don't have the right koalifications" and James bursts into laughter again, Sirius along with him and this time Peter too.

And you can only look at your boyfriend, how sweet he looks right now. James tells another joke, but you don't even hear it, you just look at him, smiling endlessly.

For a moment you even think that it would be impossible for him to actually find the jokes funny, but then you remember: it's James, your playful boyfriend who loves to laugh and especially make others laugh, who he loves to laugh.

So you laugh, not at the joke, but for James. And Remus laughs, for Sirius.

Your little family, full of love, laughter and affection. Your real family, real home. Where you should always be.

And then you understand, as Sirius and Remus also understood, after fighting so hard, that family Isn't blood. Family is your home and you have finally found it.

Your little family.

Your little home.

——————✮——————

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Give me a fic where Romione go to the past and raises baby Harry. Please. Like why do we not have any. My boy also deserves someone going to the past to save him, like really imagine baby Harry growing up with these two people who loves him unconditionally and will fight Dumbledore (fist fight even) for his safety. Imagine Ron teaching baby Harry to fly, while Hermione helps him with his homework. The first time Harry eats with them, he starts hyperventilating because he doesn't know if all that food is for him. Imagine, they both went to the past to save the world because their Harry is dead. Imagine, Ron nearly cried when Harry asked him if they will leave him because he is a freak. Imagine, a grown Hermione with her controlled ruthlessness dealing with the Dursleys. Imagine, how lovely the story would be — imagine how happy Harry would grow up to be.

[ourshadowstars]

Need a modern day au where Lily and Regulus fake date. It starts out after Lily panics and tells her friends that she's dating Regulus because it's the first name that pops in her head, but also she figures no one would be able to confirm it because none of her friends talk to him. One thing leads to another, and eventually Regulus hears about it, but instead of denying it, he goes along because he wants an opportunity to talk to Sirius. During their "dates" they bond over missing their siblings and become really good friends (lots of sibling ansgst because I'm a sucker for that shit). Padora is still Regulus best friend, but Lily is the first person Regulus goes to when he realizes he has a crush on James. Lily does the same for her feelings for Mary.

Lily introduces him to muggle literature and music, which Regulus becomes obsessed with to the point that when his studying, you will randomly hear him mumble the lyrics to his favorite song. (Even though indie is his favorite genre, his favorite album is Folklore because I said so. His favorite book is Little Women because his so Amy coded). On his birthday, Lily gifts him a beautiful telescope because even though there are magical ways to observe the stars, Regulus is obsessed with muggle objects. In return, Regulus buys her a fancy potions kit because that's her favorite subject and a gold necklace with a little lily charm that has an emerald stone.

p.s. fuck JK Rowling.

[ad1thi]

One of his favourite things about their newfound relationship, James has found, is the amount of new things he's discovering about Sirius.

Of course, they'd been friends for over a decade before they ever got together, and functionally lived together for most of it, so James would be forgiven for thinking that he'd learnt everything there was to learn about Sirius Black.

Funnily enough however, being packed together like sardines in the Gryffindor dorms, though not leaving much for the imagination, didn't teach James some of the finer things about his partner: like the way Sirius' voice takes on a breathy pitch if he crooks his hands just right, eyes wide and diluted and mouth hanging open not unlike some sinful caricature of his animagus form.

Or how, if James pulls at his hair just tight enough - running his fingers through his locks and tugging - Sirius becomes impossibly malleable, open to suggestion. His newest discovery, is the spot at the crook of Sirius' shoulder and neck, which, if he applies the right kind of pressure with his teeth, means that Sirius is open to any manner of debauchery.

He really just had assumed, when they got together, that there was nothing left to learn about each other. He finds reality far more satisfying.

tbc

[supernova3110]

Peter Pettigrew needs to be shipped with anyone

[luveline]

jadey you write poly marauders in such a special way it feels so realistic i love it so much 🥹 how do you think it would go if reader and one of them get into a fight/argument? like how would it affect the overall dynamic? (if this inspires anything pls go for it 💕💕💕)

thank you for requesting! fem

Remus lays with his head on your shoulder, but he’s not happy about it. James and Sirius aren’t subtle. They’d forced the two of you together and yes, Remus has missed you, but he doesn’t want to speak to you and he’s sure you’re feeling the same. 

You have put your hand atop his, not holding but resting there. He might be forgiven. He hopes he’s forgiven, but he doesn’t forgive you, so. 

James has made Remus’ favourite popcorn, freshly popped and doused in butter and caramel he made himself with sugar over the hob. Remus takes great grateful handfuls, given the added benefit of James’ smug smiling. Each piece he eats is like James’ receiving a job well done, and Potter’s can’t help but preen. 

Sirius sneaks bits of it over you. You don’t eat any, pointedly, your leg on Sirius’ knee and your foot wagging constantly. Restless. Annoyed. 

“Will you be angry with each other forever?” Sirius asks. 

“Sirius.”  

“What? I’m just asking.” 

“You’re being abrupt,” James says. 

Remus sighs until they both stop talking. He doesn’t know how long you’ll be angry with one another. For him it seems to come and go, and it doesn’t always help that James is neutral about it while Sirius’ loudly complains that you’re not yet over it after a frosty weekend. He wishes one of them would’ve backed him up, but then, he can’t imagine how that would feel for you. It’s not like he wants you to be upset. It’s just an unfortunate consequence of the whole thing. 

You’d cried when you argued but you’d been angry, too, quipping at him with a sharp tongue, not afraid to say what you’d felt, just overwhelmed enough to come to tears. They weren’t, you know, devastated tears or anything, but Remus had felt a pit open where his stomach was supposed to be as Sirius (Sirius, and not James, which felt important at the time) curled his arm around you and encouraged you to take a breather. 

James had stayed, giving Remus a good hug as he’d murmured, “That got too heated, huh? You okay?” 

Remus gets weird about James. About all of you, but James had been his first crush, so sometimes he feels rather daunted in the face of his affection. James likes that he can make Remus blush, but nobody’s acted very fond these last few days. It’s weird. It’s all off. The love is still there, but it’s like everyone’s afraid of showing it. 

You argued about something Remus said, and you misunderstood, and then something you said and Remus understood very well. Never the end of the world, but Remus is stubborn. He shouldn’t be. 

Remus turns his hand slowly under yours. To his relief, you let him do it, sliding your fingers between his. 

He lifts his head a touch. You don’t look at him. Sirius grins from the other side of you, and Remus ignores him. 

You slip further down into the sofa, Remus going with you, the whole group of you tired from a weekend on eggshells. 

Having seemed rather far away for the afternoon, you begin to relax. You force Remus’ head up to tuck yourself into his neck. When the movie ramps into a loud scene of gunshots and high speed car chase, you lift your lips to his ear and say, “I’m sorry, Lupin, but don’t you ever speak to me like that again.” 

He’d bristle if you didn’t sound teasing. Remus squeezes your hand, turns to see your face, and whispers back. “I’ll talk to you any way I like.” You huff a laugh. He’s so pleased to see a smile on your face that his resentment drains away completely. “I’m sorry, too,” he says. 

You nod at him. You accept his apology as he’d taken yours. An hour of being sat arm to arm and a half hour of hand-holding has reminded you both how much you really, really like the other. 

“Can we kiss and make up?” James asks. 

“I think that’s usually saved for the arguing parties,” Remus says. 

“We can argue, if you like,” you tell James. 

“Shall we?” James asks. 

Sirius argues with Remus once a week at least —nothing serious— and he knows the potency of a rough makeup kiss, sending him a knowing, inviting smile. “We can argue, Moony,” he says. 

Remus hugs you with one arm. “I’ve had enough arguing. I’m never doing it again.” 

“Good. I’m very tired, playing peacekeeper and all,” James says, slouching away from everyone. “Exhausted, even.” 

“What shall we do to make it up for him?” Remus asks you, having quickly descended into sickly sweetness, a murmur pressed into your cheek. 

“What does he want?” 

“What do you want, James?” 

James sits up. “Well, it wasn’t just me, you know. Sirius has been comic relief two days running. He’s not usually this funny otherwise.” 

“I resent that.” 

“Luckily for you both, there’s two of us,” Remus says.

You laugh, because you know what Sirius will say before he says it. “No!” you say, lifting a foot to kick at his leg. 

“Don’t be so rude,” Sirius says, grabbing you by the ankle. 

James decides you’ll celebrate with a takeaway and Sirius decides he’ll pick which one for being so diligently well-behaved this weekend, leaving you and Remus alone for the first time all day. Things feel a bit more raw, less soothed, but not bad. Remus peels away from you to look at you properly. 

“You okay?” you ask. 

“I was about to ask you the same thing.” 

“I’m okay if you are.” 

Remus taps your under the jaw, a little to the left, encouraging you to turn your head. He kisses you on the cheek. 

In the kitchen, James and Sirius giggle like school kids. Somebody gets a good whack in with a tea towel, and the other shrieks. “You thing!” Sirius says. 

Remus feels your side shake with laughter.

[sunnami]

the (poly) marauders + lily as reversed tropes.

a/n: i tried moving to a new blog.. possibly got shadowbanned... that other blog is now my dump blog, LMAO. pls enjoy this drabble!

i. academic rivals except it’s two teachers who compete to have the best class.

“It’s driving me mad, Prongs,” says a frazzled Remus Lupin, pacing back and forth in his nearly-empty classroom. Sirius watches from where he sits backwards on a wooden chair—not at all concerned with the woes of his lover, rather preoccupied with the derriere of the DADA professor, hugged beautifully by his trousers. (He makes a mental note to thank Lily and her shopping sprees in Muggle London later. And, thoroughly.) Lily eyes Remus warily, ignoring the way James is tugging at her newly-trimmed hair like a lovesick fourth-year. 

“I’ve fought in the bloody war, what do you mean my ‘pronunciation could do with some work’?” Remus scoffs, a bewildered expression on his flushed cheeks. Then, he points to the basket of lemon poppy-seed muffins, “And, the gall to send me that. Can you believe it?”

“No way,” Lily widens her eyes in mock outrage, gasping for melodramatic effect. “How dare anyone send our sweet, darling Remus homemade muffins?”

Remus dangles the swing handle of the wicker basket by his hand, nose scrunched in disgust as though it could turn him into a werewolf for the second time. “It’s not about the baskets, Lily! It’s a fear-mongering tactic—a threat, if you will. If Gryffindor doesn’t win the house cup, I might as well resign from my post.” 

James chortles, leaning back against his seat to fully stare at Remus. (And what a lovely face he has.) “Don’t you think you’re going overboard there, Moony? We’ve won the bloody thing every year—and if we’re running behind Hufflepuff, I can always give ickle Harry a hundred points for being our son. Quite a feat, wouldn’t you agree?”

Lily smacks him on the arm. “Don’t you dare, James Fleamont Potter!” 

Sirius whistles. “Full name. Yikes. You’re on your own there, mate.” 

James glares at him. “I’ve had my tongue down your throat, don’t call me ‘mate’.” 

Grinning, Sirius diverts his attention back to the pouting werewolf, struck by whatever magical spell you’ve cast on him—and their happy little wedded bunch. (He particularly likes the way you raise your voice when the Weasley twins charm your greenhouse with the colors of maroon and yellow. The upturn of your nose and raw fury in your eyes does something funny to his heart.) “Be honest, Moony, you’re just frustrated because our favorite professor is wearing those bell-bottom jeans that make their legs look just utterly delectable,” he grins salaciously. 

“Can confirm,” replies Lily with a chirpy nod. “The back view is even better.” 

“Well, yes, but that’s beside the point, my love,” Remus splutters with a cough. “It’s a matter of legacy and pride now. If—”

“While I appreciate being the topic of conversation, I’ve come to collect my students’ papers on Hinkypunks and Dugbogs,” you enter the fray with a knock on the door, startling them from their conversation; a wide smile on your face and a yellow scarf around your neck. “You see, I like to give them points myself when they score above a hundred percent. It really motivates them for the end-of-year exams.” 

James beams at your arrival, like a sunflower blooming under sunlight on a summer day. He stretches his arms wide, a space perfectly carved for you. “Come here, darling,” he calls out for his spouse, quickly affirming that the jeans you’re wearing is a blessing to the wizard kind. (He wonders if you’d let him peel it off you tonight.) As you perch yourself atop his lap, James nuzzles the crook of your neck, pressing soft, butterfly kisses to your skin. “How was your day?”

He captures your lips and you eagerly lean into his warmth. “Perfect now that I’ve found you all. Why were you hiding here, anyway?” you ask innocently, fluttering your lashes at Remus. “Did you get my gift, Moony? The elves helped me with it last night.”

“He’s just cross because you’ve become the entire castle’s favorite teacher in your first year,” Lily points out treacherously, flashing her doe eyes at Remus. (Great, now he’s got two pairs of the prettiest eyes on earth staring into his soul. He’s so beyond in love with everyone in this room.) “Not even the Malfoy kid complains about you, and he still grumbles when I have to do my yearly check-ups.”

You laugh knavishly, beckoning him over. “Is it my fault that I’m so lovable?” 

Remus scoffs, yet finds his feet drawn towards you in long, impatient strides. He leans down until the scent of ambrarome and coconut overwhelms your senses. You tug on his duck-printed tie, smiling as he grumbles lightheartedly into your lips, “Not at all, darling.”

“Shall I lock the doors now?” Sirius offers mischievously. “I’ve always wanted to do it in a classroom.”

ii. it’s too hot to cuddle!

“Mmmrgh, Lily, get off, you fiend,” you groan into the sweat-soaked pillow, suffering from one of the worst heat waves Godric’s Hollow has ever seen—swatting your wife away as she throws her leg over your thigh, impishly nibbling on your neck. On any other day, you’d relish the feel of her skin on yours, the tendrils of her flaming red hair tickling your bare arms—or the times you’d wake up to a tangled mess of crimson in your mouth. But today is just not that day.

Lily sniffles. “Ah, woe is me. My own son doesn’t want to hug me anymore, and none of the people I married want to cuddle me on this dreadful—what ever happened to ‘til death do us part’, you traitors?” 

You roll over on the bed to face her with an incredulous glare—the pretty witch has the nerve to smile at you. “Don’t be so dramatic, Lily. Just cast another cooling charm, or something.”

Lily flops onto her side of the king-sized bed, breathless and flushed, arms splayed out like an octopus—wincing apologetically when she hits you in the face by accident. “I already did. We might just have to get naked to put up with this heat.”

James pokes his head through the door, glasses forgone and black hair messily strewn over his eyes; the damp fabric of his white shirt clinging to chiseled, dark skin. (Ah, the joys of marrying an active Auror and former Quidditch prodigy.) “Did someone say get naked?”

“Way ahead of everyone,” says Sirius as he steps out of the bathroom, having taken his fourth shower today, and wearing nothing but his birthday suit, face towel strung over his shoulder and toothbrush in the side of his mouth. 

“Oh Gods, Sirius!” Lily squeals as she throws a pillow at him. “Get back in there and put some clothes on!” 

“What?” he retorts quizzically, swirling around to give everyone a show—and a generous view of his abs and firm backside. And, well, the other thing, too. “It’s not like you haven’t seen any of this before.”

Last to join the party is Remus, who barely spares a second glance to the naked Sirius Orion Black. “Pack your things, I got us a room at a Muggle inn for an hour. Harry’s downstairs waiting for everyone. He says he’ll rip off the stuffed Padfoot’s head if no one accompanies him to the pool later.” 

That is all he says before swiftly exiting the room.

You stare at the spot where he had been standing previously, whispering in awe, “God bless the Remus Lupins of the world.” 

iii. too much communication.

“—and the thing is,” you say through your weepy blubbering, nose swollen and eyes stinging from crying for the last thirty minutes. “When you guys get all secret-ey and start avoiding me, it really makes me feel like shite. And. . . and then—!” you pause to hiccup, breaking down into sobs once more when Sirius gathers you into his arms, laying his love all over your skin, kissing your tears away as he coos into your ear. “And then, Gilderoy Lockhart comes and says that you all hide away in this h-house, or shack, or whatever and meet your secret girlfriend there! I know you said it was just us and you’d never, ever cheat—and I trust you all more than life itself! But I have to know why you disappear from me every month on a particular night. A-Are you tired of me or something?”

Sirius hushes you with his lips, brows contorted—as though he’s in pain because you are in pain. He cradles the back of your neck, placating your worries with whispers of devotion. “Oh, darling, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean for it to get this far. We just wanted to keep you from harm. You’re our world, our entire heart. If you’re hurt, it hurts worse for us, little love.” 

Remus kneels by your feet, grabbing your hands in his; eyes dripping with fondness and warmth. The gold flecks in his eyes glimmering like stars in the night sky. “There’s something you have to know about me, love. We should have told you this long ago—but I was afraid you would look at me differently.”

You end up in another crying fit, overwhelmed by his kindness and sincerity. “I’ve seen you when you had food poisoning, Remus Lupin, I was the one who cleaned your vomit on the floors—nothing on this earth can make me look at you differently.”

Remus chokes, before gathering his bearings, hiding wet chuckles in your lap. “I’m a werewolf, my darling. That’s why we avoid you during full moons. To keep you safe. Your safety is always going to be one of my highest priorities. I’d die before I would let Moony harm a pretty hair on your head.” 

“Is that it?” you croak, whimpers subsiding as relief floods through your veins. “Truly?”

Remus nods. “Truly.”

“Oh, our poor love,” Lily murmurs, delicately running her hand through your hair, a worried knit in her brows. “I’m sorry we let it get to this point. Look at you—you’ll cry yourself sick.” She procures a daintily-embroidered handkerchief from her skirt pockets, gently dabbing at your damp eyes, eyes creased with love. “I’m sorry,” she says once more, pressing her lips to yours until all you feel is her instead of hurt. “No more secrets, I promise.”

James scratches the back of his head with a crooked grin. “Well. . . there is one more. Remember that time you saw a stag in the corridors? That was me. And, the dog trying to get a look under your skirt was Sirius.”

You blink. “What?”

iv. child hero has very involved parents.

Harry James Potter is known as the Boy-Who-Lived, the beloved Chosen One of the wizarding society, if you will. He has a destiny to follow and all that—well, if he could actually do anything heroic.

“What do you mean there’s a basilisk in the castle!” you shriek, a poor vase in Dumbledore’s office shattering to a million pieces. Harry drags a hand down his face—this is going to be a very long night. Suddenly, he regrets writing a letter to home about the happenings in the castle. (How was he supposed to know that all five of his parents would march into Dumbledore’s quarters the moment they heard about the blood on the walls and the petrified students?) “Why haven’t you shut down the school yet? Are you waiting for more students to get hurt?” you press on heatedly, James and Sirius flanking your sides like protective bodyguards. 

“Have you taken any protective measures?” Lily asks worriedly, holding onto Remus’s hand that’s resting on her shoulder. (Honestly, Harry thinks, rolling his eyes inwardly. The lot of you are worse than Molly Weasley at this point.) She turns to Harry, “What about Hermione? Is she safe? Oh, her parents must be worried.”

“You know what,” you say standing up, pivoting on your heel as your flock of lovers follow in suit. “We’re leaving, Harry dear, let’s go.” 

“Go?” the twelve-year-old echoes dumbfoundedly. “Go, where?”

“Home,” you reply with no room for arguments. “Until the matter is resolved, you are staying home. And tell Hermione she’s welcome to stay with us, too. And, Ginny. Ronald, as well. Actually, darling, why don’t you just tell all your friends the Potter manor is open to them whenever.”

Harry thinks you’ve just decided that on a whim, but he knows that Lily and his fathers will go along with whatever you want, regardless.

Your gaze slices to Dumbledore with a low hiss, venomous enough to rival a Slytherin’s taunt. “Fix this or I shall hunt down that basilisk myself.” 

Harry’s shoulders slump. 

So much for fulfilling prophecies and defeating dark lords.

a/n: drabbles are so fun!! this was so fun to write (but not trying to set up another blog.. NEVER AGAIN, I AM STAYING HERE!) i might do some more drabbles since my brain is fried after my last few fics which were long as heck.

[moonstruckme]

Hello lovely 🩷 apple pie pls with james or rem whoever youre feeling and #6?? i love you congratulations on 7k i check your page everyday i think i have an addiction 🥹

Hey, it could be drugs ! Love you haha <3

⁶⁾ scraped knees

cw: blood

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 399 words

James calls a hello as he comes inside, and when there’s no reply he goes in search of you. 

“Angel?��� He checks the kitchen. “I have something for you.” 

“In here.” Your voice comes from the bathroom, echoey. 

James starts towards it. 

“Um.” You sound hesitant. “Before you come in, I just want to provide a disclaimer: it’s not as bad as it looks.” 

That speeds James’ footsteps. 

The bathroom door is open. You’re sitting on the floor with your legs bent in front of you, and he can’t tell if the way you’re biting your lip is from sheepishness or pain. Your knees are shredded. 

“Baby,” he breathes, forgetting the small paper bag in his hand as he crouches beside you. “What did you do to yourself?” 

“I, um, sort of tripped on the sidewalk.” You turn your face down to your knees, using a wet wipe to clean blood from your shin. James hates to think of how much there might have been to begin with. 

He makes a not-very-manly cooing noise, rubbing your ankle. “They look like they hurt.” 

“I totally ate it,” you say, looking up with a close-lipped smile. “It was embarrassing.” 

“Baby,” James says again. He touches his lips to your shin, careful not to brush your poor knees even with the ends of his hair. He usually doesn’t call you baby so often, but you look so sad and awful right now he almost can’t help himself. “Do you want me to do it for you, honey?” You and James are both wimps when it comes to pain; that is to say, he can’t stand to see you in it, and you can’t stand to see him or yourself in it. 

“Please?” Your eyes go big and pleading, and even if James hadn’t already offered that look would have folded him easily. 

“Yeah, let me see.” He takes the wet wipe from your hand and scoots in front of you, his knees bracketing yours. 

You worry your lip as you watch him. “So, you said you had something for me?” 

James had almost forgotten. He gives you a little smile. “Yup. Pumpkin bread from the bakery on Elm. It’s still warm.” 

“No way.” You grin back at him. “Thanks, Jamie.” 

“Course, sweetheart.” He’s gentle and diligent, cleaning tiny bits of dirt out from your cuts. 

“Can we have some after this?” 

“Oh, definitely. You’ll have earned it.”

[mischievousmoony]

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚎

𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟷 ⟡ 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗

⟢ james potter x fem!reader

⟢ summary: modern restaurant au; it's your first day on the job and james is your trainer . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 2.4k

⟢ warnings/tags: is profanity a tw pls lmk actually, coworker!james, coworker!marauders, accidentally wrote an anxious!reader, trying out that headcannon where remus is a bit of a hothead, only lightly grammar checking this series bc i just wanna have fun w it

⟢ the new hire masterlist ⟡ main masterlist

note: here, bc i gotta chill and write something light for once. i think this will be an ongoing fic. also im not beating the mentioning tea in ever fic allegations anytime soon how does this always happen.

“Welcome in! How many in your party?”

“Oh! No, I’m Y/N. It’s my first day.” Your fingers pitter patter nervously on the host stand.

“You’re the new waitress!” the bubbly hostess exclaims, “I’m Mary! It’s so nice to meet you. Stay right there, I’ll go get the manager.”

She disappears into the busy restaurant, leaving you rocking back and forth on your heels nervously.

Mary, you repeat the name in your mind, recalling what she looked like so that you wouldn’t forget who the name belongs to. You had a thing with learning names—you just hated forgetting them. It felt so humiliating to have to ask someone to remind you of their name. One time, you worked with someone for months and their name lived on the tip of your tongue the entire time. Luckily, they quit before it ever came up.

“There she is! Ready for day one?” The manager, Nate, greeted as he followed Mary back to the host stand.

Not in the slightest. You always hated first days, with all the pressure to make a good impression. Not to mention it’s only the start to the slow climb over the learning curve. You hold out hope that everyone will be as nice as Mary seemed, it would make today a lot easier.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you say, straightening out your black shirt. The dress code for this job was essentially the color black from head to toe. You used the lack of a formal uniform to your advantage, expressing your personal style as much as you could within the confines of business casual.

Nate clapped his hand together, “Right, first up is a tour and introductions. I have all your paperwork already, right? So, after that we’ll get you in an apron and find someone for you to shadow.”

“Sounds good,” you try sounding cheery and excited, only for you to start worrying about whether or not you sound too eager.

“So, front of house is up first. You’ve already met Mary, our lovely hostess—“

Marry wiggles her fingers at you as a playful wave while she takes a phone call, “Yes, we do takeout!”

“You don’t need to worry about the host stand, but I’ll show you the book so you can get a feel for the sections and how we operate. We’ll only give you a small group of tables at first…”

You try to commit everything Nate says to memory, wanting to do well here. You really need this job. Rent isn’t cheap, especially without roommates. And you really don’t want a roommate. Plus this place pays their servers well, so you want to be good at it. You really really need to listen to Nate if you’re gonna be good at this.

But, jeez, Nate seems like he loves to talk. He’s going on and on and on and you’re fighting back a yawn when Mary swoops in like a hero, telling Nate she needs the book back to make a reservation.

“Sure, I think you’ve got the idea of it anyway, right?” Nate asks.

You blink, “Oh, yeah. Sure do!”

Shit, you think. You totally zoned out.

“Great, let me show you to the bar,” Nate says, already walking away.

Another reason why you really want to work here was for the ambiance. It’s a contemporary place with a grungy interior, all while remaining slightly upscale for restaurants in this area. Another upside was the live music. If you’re gonna be working, at least let it be somewhere nice with good music.

“Sirius! New server’s here,” Nate interrupts the bartender who’s in the process of mixing up a cocktail. You introduce yourself with a shy smile as you study him, trying to make a permanent link between his name and face in your mind.

Sirius the bartender—mischievous gray eyes and long black hair. He wears half of it tied up in the back of his head, surly to avoid having it fall in his face while he mixes drinks.

He puts the shaker down and rolls up the sleeves of his satin black dress shirt, “Hey there, doll, y’alright? Natey not being too boring for ya?”

“Alright, back to work, Sirius.” Nate says, sounding snappy.

You follow Nate to the back of the restaurant.

“This is the kitchen—“

“Who the fuck rang in scallops? We’ve been 86 scallops all fucking day.”

“Don’t look at me! Was probably James, the bloody dolt.”

“This seems like a bad time,” Nate spins on his heels and ushers you out of the kitchen quickly, “Whoever trains you will get you acclimated to the kitchen later. That’s Remus, just so you know, head chef.”

You nod, not having anything else to say as you begin to worry everyone won’t be as nice as Mary.

You want to take a moment to commit Remus’ name to memory like you had Sirius and Mary’s, but you only caught a glimpse of him. Still, you were sure you wouldn’t forget who the name belonged to now that you’ve had such a lovely first impression.

Next, Nate takes you down a hall, past the bathrooms, to show you his office and the staff area complete with a rickety table for breaks and some lockers. In the corner are two plastic bins with fading sharpie scrawled across the front of them: CLEAN and DIRTY. Nate reaches into the “clean” bin and picks out a slate gray apron.

He hands it to you, and you try to tie it the way the server in the kitchen had it. Nate starts leading you back out into the dining room as you continue to fiddle with the ties.

As you dart around the restaurant, the “fast-paced environment” detail from the job listing is really starting to materialize, and this was only the tour.

“Right, now where are my bloody servers.” Nate mutters under his breath, “Slacking off by the host stand, of course.”

There’s two servers at the host stand: a girl with red hair hanging in two braids on either side of her face and a tall boy with glasses. They’re huddled with Mary, looking like they’re sharing hot gossip.

You and Nate make it to the host stand at the same time as the other server from the kitchen.

“Hey, team!” Nate says, but it falls on deaf ears.

“Chef’s fuckin’ pissed at you,” she says to Glasses.

“What I do!?” He asks, whipping his body out of the huddle. Mary and the red-haired girl keep talking without him.

“Thinks you rang in some scallops,” she shrugs, blowing a strand of blonde hair out of her face.

“Why would I do that? We’re 86.”

“Yeah, but I forgot,” she says nonchalantly, leaning her back against the host stand.

“And you let him think it was me!?”

“Oh yeah, obviously. Anyway, I should probably go tell my table they’re not getting their scallops.”

“Servers!” Nate interrupts loudly, finally making your four new coworkers quiet down. You feel all eyes suddenly train on you. You smile through the uncomfortable sensation of your stomach lurching.

“We have a new member joining our team today. Please give a warm welcome to Y/N.”

“Hi,” you flash a smile to the new faces in front of you.

“Welcome!” The red-haired girl returns a bright smile of her own, “I’m Lily, I love your earrings.”

“Marlene,” the blonde says plainly.

And finally—

“Hiya, Love. I’m James,” the one with glasses says coolly as he rests an elbow on the host stand. He exudes confidence, and it makes you want to shrink into yourself.

You try to study the three of them to commit names to faces.

Lily—fiery red hair, kind eyes, and a fair complexion with a sprinkling of freckles.

Marlene—you like the way her blonde hair is cut into a shag. She also kind of intimidates you, so you really want to remember her name.

James—glasses, tousled dark hair, very attractive. That last part probably wasn’t a necessary attribute to help you remember his name, but it was true. He has a tall, toned frame that would’ve made him seem intimidating if not for the way his eyes transformed into the physical embodiment of sunshine when he smiled. Were your hands getting sweaty?

“Alright, great. Introductions are done, now I need someone to be a trainer.” Nate claps his hands together, waiting for a volunteer.

“I have to go give a table bad news, so-”

Nate cuts Marlene off before she can hastily run away, “Wasn’t gonna ask you anyway.”

James is eyeing you, sizing you up it seems, when he pipes up, “I’ll do it.”

Marlene snorts. “Weren’t you saying an hour ago that Nate better not dump the-”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Marls,” James says through clenched teeth, glaring sideways at her.

You felt like quitting on the spot, thinking that you were obviously a burden on these people. Being a burden to James, specifically, felt particularly embarrassing. It had your face heating up.

“Great! Thanks James,” Nate says, “Y/N, you’re in good hands. I’ll be in the office if you need anything. The rest of you, get back to work!”

With a reluctant groan from Marlene and a “nice to meet you” from Lily, the small crowd disperses. All except for you and James.

“I’m sorry you got saddled with training me.”

“Aw man, no! Marlene was just-” James cuts himself off with a sigh, “Fine, I didn’t think I’d want to train today. But I changed my mind, so don’t feel like you’re a burden or something, alright?”

James seems pretty genuine, so you digress. Not without a joke first, though.

“Just remember you asked for it later when you get tired of me.”

“I have a feeling that’s not gonna happen,” James says, a certain playfulness dancing in his eyes.

As a new party walks into the restaurant, James leads you toward a nearby order station so that you’ll be out of the way.

“So, you’re gonna wanna forget everything Nate told you,” he says as you walk, “I’m gonna show you how we actually run this place.” He shoots a boyish smirk over his shoulder.

“That shouldn’t be very hard, I don’t think I was awake for any of it,” you admit with a chuckle.

“Ooh, I’m gonna like you!” James swings his body around when you reach the order station, “We love Nate slander here. Behind his back of course.”

“That’s worrisome,” you say, trying to find a comfortable way to lean against the terminal. You end up just standing up straight, “He seemed kind of nice.”

“You ever work in a restaurant before?” James leans toward you, looking coy, and you do your best not to shrink away from him.

“Yeah, I was a hostess.”

“You ever been friends with any of your old managers?”

You think about it for a minute, “No.”

“Exactly,” James leans back and you feel your shoulders relax at once. “He’s alright, but he’s still the boss. Plus, it’s good for server morale to have a common enemy.”

James earns a laugh from you, and he smiles brightly as if it’s the biggest honor.

“So, when do you get off?”

“I’m closing, I think.”

“Nate has you closing on your first shift? Diiiiick move.”

“He asked first and I told him I could handle it.”

“He shouldn’t have asked.” James insists, then he waves it off as if deciding what’s done is done, “That’s alright, you’ll be able to stick with me. But in light of that, I’ll make today easy for you. You can watch while I take orders, and I’ll show you how I ring them all in here,” James pats the POS terminal, “And you can help me get bread and refills out to tables mostly. I won’t make you take orders today ‘coz it’s a bit rowdy in here, but maybe if we’re sat with an easy table we’ll see how you’re feeling.”

You nod along, not having anything to say, not that you had the chance. James is a fast talker and you’re beginning to notice how full of energy he is. It’s a tad amusing, and it’s beginning to show on your face.

“What?” James asks, eyes flicking down to your growing smile.

With a slight shake of your head, you say, “You a big coffee drinker?”

“Y’know, I get that a lot,” James reaches into the underside of the order station, and pulls out a canned beverage, “But I’m partial to these.”

Your face scrunches up as James takes a sip of what you like to call battery acid in a can.

James makes a big show of acting refreshed, emitting a long sigh when the can leaves his lips, “Not your cup of tea, I take it?” James raises an eyebrow.

“My cup of tea would be actual tea. Or coffee-“

“Coffee’s any better?”

“A million times, yes.”

“I beg to differ.”

“You can’t be serious.”

James’ eyes light up like you’ve just handed him a prize, “You’re right, that’s the bartender. ‘Ave you met him?”

It takes you a moment to register what he means, and then you’re rolling your eyes, “Oh, I’m gonna hear that joke a lot from you aren’t I?”

“You’re gonna hear that joke all day from everyone, Love, it’s a house favorite.”

As you’re about to quip back, Lily squeezes between you two to ring in some food.

“James, enough flirting. Some of your tables are starting to look pissed,” she says, tapping on the screen quickly to get the order in.

“I’m not flirting,” James protests, but the wink he shoots you begs to differ.

Lily takes a break from noting modifications for a sandwich order to look at you, “James is always flirting, you’ll learn to ignore him.”

James is looking at you over her shoulder, shaking his head and swirling his index finger by the side of hers, mouthing “she’s crazy.”

As Lily resumes removing tomatoes from the order, she catches James in the act and swats his hand away, “Seriously, James, they’re starting to flag me down because they haven’t seen you in ages.”

James clutches his hand close to his chest. His eyes flit between you and Lily, a mock-horrified look on his face that communicates “see, I told you she’s crazy!”

“Who?” he asks.

“Your tables, you dunce,” Lily hisses, but there are notes of humor in her voice.

James bares his teeth as grimaces and checks his wrist for a watch that doesn’t exist, “Bollocks, look at the time. Come Y/N, I’ll show you how to turn an angry table into a happy one.”

You have to stifle a laugh as you follow James to his tables, mentally adding him to the list of reasons why you really want to work here.

[starstruckmoony]

so high school.

masterlist

pairing - james potter x reader

summary - that one cute nerdy guy from your lectures gives you a follow and you end up actually falling for him.

trope/tags - modern!au, uni/college!au, instagram/social media!au, fluff, terrible humor

word count - 704

warnings - language, suggestive jokes

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

prongsyboy

❤️ liked by yourusername, pandorasbox, marymacdonald and 167 others

prongsyboy me and remussy

tagged rjlupin

10 comments

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pete___ no words...

yourusername

❤️ liked by lily_evans, xeno_lovegood, starmanblack and 181 others

yourusername he said i remind him of the first line from robbers

12 comments

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prongsyboy added to their story

yourusername

❤️ liked by r.a.black, rjlupin, marymacdonald and 174 others

yourusername freaky

13 comments

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prongsyboy

❤️ liked by ev.rosier, casmeadowes, euphemiapotter and 183 others

prongsyboy roadtripppppp

tagged yourusername

13 comments

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yourusername added to their story

prongsyboy

❤️ liked by vance_emm, r.a.black, mmmckinnon and 200 others

prongsyboy robbers intro?

tagged yourusername

14 comments

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bartyyy added to their story

yourusername

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yourusername him.

tagged prongsyboy

17 comments

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pete___ prongs won

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rjlupin emphasis on extra

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marymacdonald cuties 🫶

prongsyboy added to their story

[fourmoony]

𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐩 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐲

𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⭒⭒⭒

𝟏𝟖+ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐧𝐢. 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟. 𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞.

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦.

𝟏.𝟐𝐤 - masterlist

p.s. my requests are open. pls give me inspiration.

⭒⭒⭒

"This feels dirty."

James laughed. Rosy cheeked, eyes gleaming, he full blown belly laughed. I scrunched my nose, eyes squinting as I looked up at him where he hovered over me, toned muscles popping, hands on either side of my head. He stopped in time to press a quick kiss to the tip of my nose, pushed us both a little further up the bed, jaw ticking with the movement.

"That's because it is dirty, baby." He said with finality, cheeky smile gracing his lips.

I supposed I couldn't argue with that. We were naked, sweaty, definitely crossing into full blown voyeurism in my shared dorm room, not a single curtain was closed. In fairness, we'd been in too much of a hurry. But then a quickie had turned into a lazy afternoon spent wrapped around each other whilst everyone we knew was enjoying the rare Scotland Sun too much to be cooped up in their dorm rooms. So really, there was no reason for one of us to not think ahead and pull the curtains around my four poster bed.

I made a displeased noise at his lack of movement, James seemingly happy to stare down at me all day with that familiar shit eating grin, "Yeah, but doing it here feels dirty."

"We do it in my dorm room all the time." James countered.

I rolled my eyes, "Thats different. Can you move?"

James nodded, messy black hair falling over his eyes, "Sure."

He pulled away completely, I chased him. Evil boy.

"You know that's not what I meant." I pouted, clambering onto his lap where he'd leant himself comfortably against my headboard and was smiling like the cat who got the cream.

His hands smoothed along my waist, eyes looking up at me through hooded lids, "You need to be more direct, love."

His thighs opened, spreading my own legs until I leant back a little, on full display. His eyes gleamed, his smile turned from cocky to excited, his toned legs holding me exactly where he wanted. Quidditch had done a lot of things to scrawny first year James Potter's body, puberty had done the rest. Whoever was to thank five years later, I didn't care, just enjoyed the fact that James was stronger, thicker, able to do something like move my entire body with just his thighs.

"You know I like it when you're the direct one." I blushed.

James did know that. In fact, he relished in it. There was something about surrendering control to him that made me feel safe, as well as hot and flustered. He never went too far, always knew exactly what to do, how to turn me to putty in his hands.

He kissed me, soft and sweet, for a minute, dirty and wet the longer he went on until I was writhing on his lap, cool air the only thing even close to touching me where I needed it most, legs still clamped open at James' leisure. He'd always said he liked me like that, desperate for him, whiny, it's how he'd known he had me the first time. Every time after, in his eyes, was just a bonus.

"Up." He mumbled, grabbing my hips, giving my legs a little room to move, until I was the one hovering over him, crowding his space, hands in his hair.

I could feel the tip of him as he slid it along me, front to back, repeating the motion twice before he guided me down onto him.

I smiled, dazed and content, relishing in the way he felt inside of me. Thick and filling and entirely too much. James clouded my every thought, every judgement, every breath. He had for years now, but having him like this, raw and honest and downright dirty, it only intensified those feelings.

"That's it, baby." His voice was strained, head tipped back, hands tight on my hips.

He'd leave marks, I hoped.

He gave us both a minute, a breath, though not long enough to form a coherent thought before he picked his legs up, feet flat on the mattress, the tops of his thighs pressing me forward into his chest. I moaned, because even when I was on top, James still had an animalistic need to be in control. Not that I'd minded a single bit.

He slammed up, sending me jolting into his skin, face buried in his neck, arms clinging onto him for balance. He was relentless in his pace, never slowing, never missing a beat, never fumbling or unsure. James Potter had stamina, that was for sure.

"Jamie," I moaned into his skin, wet with the afternoon's exertions, fingers gripping at his shoulders, "Jamie, it feels so good."

His hands, calloused and oh so big, gripped at my ass cheeks, holding me up just enough for him to slam upward. His left hand drew back, leaving a stinging slap to the skin, sending me further into a daze. His grunts, groans, and pants had me moaning in return, spewing absolute nonsense but just desperate to make noise, any noise, of appreciation.

He didn't falter, didn't stop, he kept his barging pace, even when I clenched down around him, dizzy with the feeling of him, surrounded by him - his skin, his scent, the beautiful noises falling from kiss worn lips - he kept going, strong and steady, fast, borderline maniacal until I was a writhing, screaming mess on top of him.

"C'mon, Angel," His voice was strained, waiting for me before he allowed himself to finish - ever the gentleman - "Let it out."

I reached down between us, frenzied, manic, desperate for the feeling he always, without a shadow of a fucking doubt, brought me, moving in tight circles.

When the pleasure got too much, I bit into James' shoulder, strong and muscled, muffling my own sounds as he continued his pace, his encouragements, his own voice stuttering in pleasure at the feeling of my teeth on his salty skin.

I saw stars when I came, my muscles turning to mush, slumped against James as he stilled too, jaw slack, head tilted back, eyes lost in their sockets. I smiled up at him lazily, catching my breath, our bodies stuck together with sweat. James Potter never failed to take my breath away. He was so beautiful, so caring, so generous. He loved fully, gave as good as he got. He was an angel. Well...

"You okay?" He asked, when he found himself able to speak again. I could feel the uncomfortable drip of him escaping between my thighs where we were joined, still. My skin was slick, hair plastered to my neck and forehead. My joints hurt, my breath was ragged. But I was the best I'd felt in weeks. I smiled up at him, "I'm great."

He chuckled softly, clearly being aware of the slippery problem between us, too. His eyes gleamed with mischief again, strong hands moving me until I was on my back, our bodies separated.

The loss felt debilitating when we'd spent all afternoon that way, but the look in James' eyes read he wasn't done yet.

"James Potter reporting for clean up duty." He said, mock saluting me before pressing soft, wet kisses down my sternum.

This time, it was me who belly laughed, hands in his messy black hair, legs kicked up over his shoulders.

"Now this," James grinned up at me, chin pressed against my naval, "Is downright dirty."

I didn't have time to respond.

[mezsygfs]

Marauders as things my friends have said pt 2

had a deep dive in our discord dms for this shit. @al1xre as promised. love you tater tot 😽🩷 which friend should I target next.. nani or cece.... I got A LOT on both them mfs

other parts

Sirius: BRO. YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT URSELF

James: BUT PADS??? YOURE MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT PERSON?? YOURE SUPPOSED TO HELP??

Dorcas: DUDE. IM NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF.

Barty: YOURE NOT MY MOTHER. but fine.

James: STOP BEING GOOFY AND CONFESS

James: THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT

Sirius: YOU??? MF IM THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS?

James: DAWG IM SHITTING BRICKS. WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON SO

Peter: BRO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE IF YOU WONT LISTEN

Marlene: NO BUT THAT IS SCARY HUH

Lily: I DONT GIVE A FUCK. SAY IT.

Marlene: I'm telling Pandora you're being mean

Lily: I DONT GIVE FLYING FUCKS IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

Barty: shape one into a dick

Evan: bro there's children around

Dorcas: well she told me her name and I told her mine??

Barty: ... Congratulations?

Evan: hit the jackpot fr

Dorcas: I'm gonna stop talking to you both

Regulus: I love being the unproblematic bystander

Lily: ew I feel like a mother

Marlene: mommy lily

Lily: no pls I hate that

Mary: what about mother Lily?

Peter: I need help with the personality

James: uhmm.. harsh at first? Smoker definitely

Sirius: has a penis

Remus: HAS A PENIS? 😭

James: everythings possible

Dorcas: lesbians liking men

James: oh yeah. That's not possible.

Sirius: why don't you just fall for a friend?

James: eh idk.. most of em are taken

Sirius: wow ok I'm offended

James: don't you like Remus?

Sirius: still.. thought that counts..

Barty: potter doesn't think I'm scary, right?

Regulus: of course not! He thinks you're terrifying!

Remus: my coffee tastes like sad bean water :((

Sirius: put creamer in it

Remus: oh right I forgot

James: I appreciate you sm I love you

Sirius: I love you more??

James: impossible. I love you more.

Sirius: possible. I love you most.

James: I love you mostest.

Sirius: I love you more than mostest.

James: I love you more than more than mostest.

Sirius: that makes no sense what and you're wrong like its not possible

(Remus and Regulus side eyeing the fuck out of them both)

Evan: oh my gosh we both have siblings.. soulmates fr.

Regulus: i wanna be on your level of delusion

Sirius: how bout Remus turns around and looks at ME like that

James: id look at you like that

Sirius: THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GAURD.

Sirius: my life is so boring I need real drama

Peter: id create drama but being involved takes a lot of effort

[silencesscreams]

thin ice

hockey!james potter x ice skater!reader

summary: you and james go to the same training rink and always see each other. you eventually start talking and flirting, but what you didn’t know was that you’d see him at your best friend’s birthday party and get absolutely hooked.

warnings: fluffly fluff, petnames, f!reader, use of y/n a few times, she/her pronouns referring to r, drinking

pls tell me about any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language!!

he sure had a nerve.

first he bumps into you in the hallway and doesn’t even apologize,

and then he asks you to get him some water? what does he think you’re doing there?

“sorry, i don’t work here.” you said, looking at him with your brows furrowed.

“oh, i just thought that you worked here because of the matching uniforms, you know?” you were about to laugh at him but then you noticed the red on his cheeks. was this man blushing?

“i’m sorry, how many times did you ask girls from the skating team for water?” you giggled, and suddenly his face is even redder.

“lets just say i gotta apologize to a lot of girls. i’m james by the way. james potter.” he dropped his gloves as he went to shake your hand. as he bent down to pick them up, you read the name on his jersey. ‘prongs’. you didn’t know what it meant, but it was kind of cute.

“prongs? what does that mean?” you ask, curious about him.

“its my hockey name”

“hockey name? like an artist name?”

“sort of, its nicer to call for prongs than to call for james.” he explained.

“really? 'cause i like james better.” you said, grabbing your bag from the bench you were sat on. “well, gotta go. but i’ll see you later, prongs.”

“i didn’t catch your name!” he shouted as you walked away.

“guess you’ll just have to find out!” you said, smirking at him from afar.

james potter sure was interesting.

as time passed, he eventually figured out your name, but he didn’t really use it. you found out he loved pet names, and you eventually started liking them too.

sure, you weren’t close, but you really liked the ‘hey, hun, how are you?’s until you got something better than that.

“hey, love, how are you?” james asked as he filled his water bottle.

“hi, james, i’m good” you smiled

“so, i was thinking” your stomach started twisting itself into a knot. “could i maybe get your number?”

“yeah, of course.” your cheeks were getting hotter by the second.

“great, just type in” he smirked, giving you his phone. “i’ll text you later?”

“for sure.” you smiled.

once you got to practice, it was obvious something happened, especially because of the smile you couldn’t get rid of.

“what’s up, y/n?” pandora asked, as you sat down next to her.

“james. he asked me for my number.” you kept on smiling.

“you mean prongs? okay, score” marlene joked.

“please! we’re friends.” you insisted.

“like you don’t have the biggest crush on him.” pandora laughed and you shoved your face in your hands, blushing.

once james got to practice, it was obvious something had happened to him too. especially because he couldn’t stop smiling.

“spill it, prongs.” sirius said, without even looking at him for two full seconds.

“what?!” james got defensive and sirius glared at him. “i asked y/n for her number.”

“what’d she say?” peter asked, remus was clearly paying attention too.

“she just gave it to me, can you believe that?” he smiled.

“i actually can’t.” sirius joked.

“shut up!” james scoffed.

“we’re going to lily’s birthday thing, i’m sure she’ll be there too. if you wanna shoot your shot.” remus smirked at him.

“really?” james asked, a glimmer in his eyes.

james had never felt so excited about any girl before, he couldn’t actually describe it. there was just something about you.

you spent the whole week talking to james, texting, getting coffee after practice,

he took about two hours to get ready for lily’s birthday, he was so nervous when he got there he felt like he could faint. it also didn’t help sirius was laughing at him for a very long time, but when you got there? that was probably it for him.

he could’ve just fainted because of the dress you were wearing, red was definitely your color. and with that he couldnt stop picturing you in his team’s uniform.

as you said hi to your friends, mary pointed him out and you could’ve actually passed out. your stomach went into swirls and you waved at him from afar, when he smiled at you, that was probably the nail onto your coffin, because james potter was going to be the only thing on your mind for a long time.

he came over to you after about 15 minutes of overthinking all the things he said to you through text.

“hey, hun” he said, giving you a quick hug.

“hi, james, fancy seeing you here!” you joke, taking a sip from your coke and rum.

“well, what can i say? im a pretty unpredictable guy.” he joked, sitting next to you and playing with the straw on your cup.

“you want some?” you suggested because by the way he was looking at your cup, it seemed like he was craving it.

“nah, i’m driving tonight.” he said, a sad puppy look on his face.

“hey, y/n, weren’t you needing that drive home?” pandora asked, kicking your feet.

“oh, if you want to, i can take you home.” the dark haired boy suggested, smiling at you, again, and how could you say no?

“i’d actually love that, thanks” you couldn’t help but smile back.

“you can just drop me off here” you said as he stopped in front of the driveway. “thanks for the ride, jamie”

as you looked over to him, he was already looking at you. his eyes were focused on your mouth, and he knew that if he didn’t ask you now he probably wouldn’t.

“hey, i was thinking, my team’s playing next Saturday and i’d really like it if you’d come by and watch… if you’re free and want to, of course.” he was staring at the steering wheel. “it’s this casual thing, don’t worry, i actually think some of your friends are going and-“

“i’ll be there.” you assure him, james’ head quickly turns, hes facing you again.

now you both are just staring at each other, lingering. his hand went over to you and put back a strand of your hair, and so your heart was pounding in your chest very rapidly and you didn’t quite know what he’d do next.

“i really wanna kiss you now.” he whispered like it was the biggest secret he ever told anyone.

“okay.” you answered, quickly nodding, very nervous to say anything else.

“but i cant though, not yet, ‘cause i know you had a lot to drink.” you felt like he was mostly saying that to himself.

“good night, james, thanks again for the ride.” you felt kind of let down, but still gave him a kiss on the cheek before you opened the car door.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU COULDNT KISS HER? WHAT THE HELL JAMES??” sirius shouted out at the locker room.

“SHE HAD A LOT TO DRINK!” he was trying so hard to defend himself, peter shook his head in disbelief.

“shes out there, i think. i’ll kiss her as soon as we finish this, i swear.” james promised, putting on his gloves.

“its not us you gotta swear to, mate.” remus said, and james knew that.

“wait so he didnt kiss you because you had some drinks?” lily asked, confused. “THAT WAS A FOUL, COME ON REF!” she shouted out before you answered.

“i actually think its kind of sweet.” pandora commented.

“i feel the same, but i really wanted a kiss, and i didn’t even drink that much! did i?” you ask, nervously.

“i dont think so.” lily was up and clapping now, she was the most excited about the game of all people there, mary was just giggling at her girlfriend's enthusiasm.

you waved at james during the intermission, he blushed and waved back and you were incredibly happy. you were cheering when he scored, and eventually started shouting the same things as lily (because you knew nothing about the rules).

when they won the game, you cheered like a proud mother, it felt good to be there for him. as he stepped out of the rink, he was calling you over, as you ran to him, he was taking his helmet off and turned around to get the mouthguard and you thought that was the cutest thing.

“hi” you smiled at him.

“hi” he answered, pulling you in and immediately kissing you, his lips were soft and he smelled like strawberry two in one shampoo.

“is this okay?” he asked once he pulled back, you couldn’t bare to answer, so you nodded, and just pulled him in again.

“hm, could you maybe get me some water?” he joked, pulling back again

“you’re an idiot, james potter.”

later that same evening, as you watched him dip french fries in a milkshake, you realized that you were walking on thin ice, especially because you might be falling in love.

[futurecorps3]

hey babe, i am on my knees begging you pretty pls for a james x reader with big thighs and like a kinda chubby stomach you know??? pls i am begging so much 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚��𝐞𝐫

Masterlist<3

MINORS STAY AWAY I'LL BLOCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, THIS IS +18!!!

See also… All marauders versions in my marauders masterlist<3

I didn't quite know how to title this since it isn't exactly chubby reader but oh well. HAVING SAID THAT, JAMES IS SUCH A THIGS MAN. Thank you so much nonnie! My body type seems similar to this so this is very much me projecting<3 hope u like it

-Sorry for the strong start but he lives buried between your thighs

-Loves how plush they are!! When he goes down on you, he definitely bites them, squeezes them and makes you close them around his head<3.

-"Jamie I don't wanna hurt ya..." you giggle, seeing his eager hands pushing your thighs together "Oh shut it" barely audible because he's too busy taking care of you

-I've always imagined him being the one marauder with a car...

-HE HOLDS YOUR THIGH WHILE DRIVING UGH

-Gives mindless squeezes to them while taking turns, veiny, long fingers enclosing around the meat on your legs. PLEASE I'm melting.

-Teases you to no end if he's feeling frisky, raising his hand but not quite touching you where you need him

-"You alright there, darling?" glasses crooking slightly as he looks over to the side with a shit-eating smirk, kneading your inner thighs a bit too close to your- yeah.

-Not only while driving!! In class, in the common room, while eating dinner, in the library, when you wear jeans, when you wear skirts, when you're wearing nothing but panties and his jersey.

-He has to touch them.

-Loves how they look when you sit on his lap facing him!!!

-If you get self-conscious (because we all do sometimes), he has two solutions:

-Talk it out to see how he can help or make you sit on his face until you're brainless<3 your choice.

-Praise, praise, praise!!!

-"My pretty baby," "Doing such a good job," "Just relax. Let me take care of you, love." UGH.

-Adores using your tummy as a pillow in movie night with the marauders!!! He can't help himself, it's so soft like :(

-Lives for how you look in tight dresses that show your tummy and the top of your thighs

-Buys you a shit ton of those (partly bc he keeps tearing them up when you get time alone hehe)

-Flared, high-waisted jeans paired with long-sleeved crop tops are also his death sentence

-James Fleamont Potter can't go a day without absolutely drooling over how hot you are. It's a universal truth to him. He wholeheartedly believes there's no one as pretty as you!

-Laying on your thighs/tummy while you play with his hair<3

-Purposely buys skirts one size smaller than your size so they don't fit around your thighs and he can have a better look at them throughout the day

-Can't stop, won't stop for anyone except you.

-Again, if you feel uncomfortable with any of these, he'll gladly refrain. His unmeasured love for your body is just a part of your relationship!!

-If you like the attention, get ready because he'll live there and won't come out unless it's an emergency and, to be frank, very few things are an emergency to James Potter when he's squished between your tummy and thighs<3

[ddejavvu]

boy next door james potter who TRIES to get the confidence to strike up a convo with u, and all his friends tease him abt the obvious puppy eyes he’s got for u, the girl next door but

i can just imagine that he’s likes u to the point where he’s just.. not cool, or sauve at all 😭😭 like

he comes back after playing rugby/whatever sport one day, so he’s all sweaty and shit, he’s in his room panting and rooting round for clean clothes for after his shower, and u can see into his window (that’s directly across from yours) at this whole spectacle and ur only human so ofc ur oogling him a bit, and he catches u and instead of being all smooth and giving u a knowing smirk or a teasing raise of his eyebrows

he goes a bit haywire bc omg omg omg she’s checking me out rn she’s checking me out so hard and so he’s got this look on his face and he just.. lifts his shirt up so almost his whole chest is on show for u 💀💀 like in a ‘yea here u go look at this too pls’ and u can’t help but laugh so hard bc that’s kinda cute maybe you’ll bake smthn and bring it round for him soon :,)))

GIGGLES. SQUEALS, EVEN.

i'm thinking he can see you over his back fence and you've got a little garden, so he'll peek at you while you're planting daisies or watering your tulips or straberries and oh man is he head over heels for you..

but he doesn't know how to say anything!!!!! he's been trying to win you over as a secret admirer for a while now, he's been buying seed packets and slipping them into your mailbox so that you get a nice little surprise in the mail, but ofc you don't know it's him so he doesn't get the credit for it.

but YES he's a big ol loser and so when he happens to glance over at your window (he's always 'glancing over' at your window), and he catches YOU staring at HIM???? oh boy. he doesn't really think about it, he just knows he wants you to see Something Yummy so he just. rips his shirt up. just ! boom ! chest ! and you'd be mortified to be caught ogling him but he's just so starstruck and goofy that you laugh, and he gets this big stupid smile on his face, he's daydreamin now baby!!! he's 100% planning your domestic life together while falling asleep that night.

and if you happen to bring him over cookies??? he will have to invite you in to have some. that's the rule.

[theemporium]

could i request some post quidditch match win content w james pls?

of course, love🖤

.

James Potter loved winning. 

He loved the thrill as the final horn blared through the arena. He loved the weight of his teammates jumping on top of him as they celebrated. He loved the way the students, teachers and parents chanted his name. 

His ego basked in the victory, soaked it all in and let it just overwhelm him completely. 

But most of all, James loved seeing you after he won. 

By the time he made it to the common room, the adrenaline had finally simmered down and his limbs felt heavy as he dragged himself through the door. But it didn’t matter that he knew his body would be sore the next morning or that he was probably minutes away from passing out, because he had yet to see you and that’s all he wanted. 

The common room was full of students still on a high after the win, slapping his back and cheering him on as he walked towards the staircase that led up to the dorms. He knew exactly where you would be and his body was buzzing to find you. 

He shoved the door of his dorm room open with his shoulder and a heavy sight and almost instantly a smile grew on his face as he took in the sight of you lying on his bed, glad in one of his jerseys with a book in your hand.

You lifted your head up and grinned. “There’s my champion.” 

“Fuck, call me that again,” he muttered as he dumped his bag on the floor as gracefully as he could before all but falling onto the bed, head laying on your stomach with his body stretched over yours like a starfish. 

“Replacing the captain kink already?” you teased. 

“Hm, no,” his words were muffled slightly by his position. “We are keeping the captain thing, baby.”

You snorted, your fingers brushing through his curls that were still slightly wet from his shower after the match. “Noted,” you said with a small sigh. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come tonight. Sounded like a good game.”

“You’re sick, love, I wasn’t gonna let my girl stand in the cold for hours,” he grumbled and lifted his head, eyes softening as he took in the sight of you. “How are you feeling?” 

“Better now that I know my boy won,” you answered with a grin, watching as James’ cheeks went pink with the praise. “Aww, my pretty boy.” 

“Shut up,” he murmured as he tried to slap your hands away, only to really sink into your touch as you cupped his cheek. “Next game you’re gonna be there. And when I win, I’m gonna swoop you from the stands and kiss you in front of everyone.” 

Your eyes narrowed slightly. “You wouldn’t dare to, Potter.” 

His grin was boyish. “You should know better than anyone else that I would never back down from a dare.” 

You rolled your eyes. “You are unbelievable.” 

“And you love me still,” James grinned widely before settling his head back on your stomach. “Now shh, I want my victor’s cuddles.” 

“Only cuddles? Well, there goes my surprise,” you said with a theatrical sigh, holding back your giggles when James’ head snapped up. 

“What surprise?” 

“No, no, you’re tired, baby,” you cooed softly as you bit back your grin. “I’ll just save it for next time.” 

“Love, don’t do this to me,” James groaned, fingers fiddling with the hem of his jersey you were wearing and when he noticed your breath hitch, he raised his brows a little. Keeping his eyes on your expression, he dipped his hands underneath the jersey and slowly slid his hands up your thighs, only to freeze when he felt his fingers meet lacey material. “Fuck.”

“Wanted to give you something for your win,,” you murmured with a shy smile, watching the way his eyes darkened. “A reward...” 

“You have ten seconds to get this jersey off before I rip it off.” 

“Yes, captain.”

.