venateus

[venateus]

« cj » — a bit of magic in our veins

They were only kids when they met. So oblivious to the world around them, yet they wondered how to conquer the slight changes in the air as though they were made to be part of it all. Everything used to be so hard to understand and in some ways, they still were. but for everything that the wind and ground had given to them, they have made it their own. Inbetween the chaos and peace of growing and understanding who they were as people, they grew to love each other just as they would love themselves. though sometimes that wasn't always easy to do. sometimes it was the hardest thing to do. for dust you are and to dust you will return. "Christo." She watched the tall male stare out the window of their shop, eyes fixated on something she could not see. The air was warm from the lit flames in the oven and she could feel their warmth even from behind the counter top. Her chin rested gently on her chin, lips curled upward as the male turned toward her. "The letters. They're addressed to you. Perhaps a thanks for what you did." He grunted in response, knowing that they were empty thank yous. Everything he had done had been through Jieun. She had a knack for getting the village to love him just as much as they loved her. But she had known from when they were little that he was just as good as he believed she was. They sought out the good of each other, defeating each other's demons to somehow find comfort in the arms of one another. Afterall, the two of them were just merely two sides of the same coin. In some ways it meant they would always fill out the parts missing from the other. In others, they would never be able to face each other the way that they had always wanted to. Because no matter how much they fought for each other, they were far too different to see the same sunset in the end. "I have deliveries to make. The old couple on the other side of town requested the remedies and elixirs I made." She stood up straight, dusted the white apron she wore as though she had done any work for the day. "Would you like to come with me?" "It's raining." He rebuttled as he crinkled his nose. It was as if he had never felt the drops of rain on his cheeks; as though the rain would melt him away if it touched his skin. Because somewhere along the way, he felt as if the world had been too pure for his existence. "A little magic will keep the water from getting you wet. It'll be quick and easy. And who knows," Jieun lifted her arms out and shrugged her shoulders, a small grin on her lips as though she was being clever. With her skill in magic, she could easily make the rain clouds go away if only for a little bit. "Maybe the rain will clear up, and we can take a walk through the woods. I do need more ingredients. Yes?"

@kingsten

[venateus]

garciti:

“You don’t have to lie to me, Sunghwa.” Sana doesn’t look in the eye just yet, unable to face the kindness in his expression just yet but she does give him an extra squeeze before letting go. “If I was as good of a friend as you said then we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place.”

Sana gives Sunghwa his space by taking a few steps back. A couple of people stare at them, including some that are standing by a nearby street vendor and give the both of them questioning stares. A few even mumble behind their hands while looking at them with evident curiosity. It takes a moment before it occurs to her why they’re staring.

“We look like a couple that has just had their first fight.” Sana says, already she’s trying to bite back a laugh so she wipes away the wetness on the corners of eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. She looks up at the sky to blink away the last of the wetness behind her eyes─ it’s a bit embarrassing, she didn’t even realize that she had gotten teary eyed in the first place. 

If he asks, she’ll just place the blame on the fact she had to run and the cold air rather than admit that she cries easily over misunderstandings, even if and when they’re easily resolved. She doesn’t like coming across as fragile, especially not in front of those she knows fairly well.

“I think we’re both having a bit of an off day.” She mumbles but soon she’s smiling again, feeling genuine. The people around them return back to whatever they were doing before and she begins to walk.

“And hey, you still haven’t told me what’s wrong exactly.” Sana pauses, looking over her shoulder before cocking her head in the direction in front of her as way to tell Sunghwa to follow her. As they walk she puts her hands into her pockets, moving slowly and looking into shop windows she continues their previous conversation. “I don’t understand why you feel like you need to be stronger.” 

She stops suddenly, fingers touching the glass of a shop window where one mannequin is wearing an outfit adorn with both jewels, gold, and another is holding a sword listed at a discount price for a weekend sale. Sana tilts her head, looking at the make of the weapon and wondering if it would be worth the gil that it’s listed for before she looks at him again.

“Sung, you’re fine just the way that you are.”

"I don't think you were the problem to begin with, Sana." He gives her an awkward laugh, looking away from her as she gives him his much needed space. He hates that she thinks she's the reason for the uncomfortable tension that he didn't even realize was there until it was too late. The conversation begins and ends with him. It always has been. Maybe it's the self doubt he struggles with or the idea deeply rooted into him that he's just another mistake. Sana can do no wrong in his eyes because the wrong starts in him. It's something he's been wanting to tell her. He wanted her to be a confidant to him, but being so meant breaking a lot of his rules he set out for himself. Truth of the matter though, he's just scared out of his mind. "Right, sorry. I didn't mean for that!" He stumbles on his words, looking back at her just as she uses her sleeve to wipe the tears that fell from her eyes. Now he feels worse, but he won't let her know it. They were the same in that sense. always wanting to do what would make the other happy and if it didn't work, well, he knows his own guilt and despondence linger a lot longer than her smiles. He gives her a soft smile then, letting the moment go and walks in step with her. "Who wants to feel weak? Being weak, it just means I haven't achieved what I wanted. I'm a long shot away from who I want to be." He mumbles and as he speaks, the air turns white from his breath. "I'm still working on it. Being stronger in any aspect I can be. It just... it would make me feel a lot better. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. Not even daemons." He laughs at that, shrugging his shoulders as he stops a few steps ahead of her. Her words hurt him a lot more than it should have. She's reassuring him, he knows this. He knows her better than anything else in his life. She makes things easy, but she doesn't even come easy to him. When it came to Sana, he didn't have to worry about ulterior motives. He didn't have to worry about her discovering who he is because she wouldn't care. His eyes turn to the display window, glancing at what was for sale before turning his eyes back to her. He clenches his fist, unclenching them only when he's ready to stand by her side. He moves his hand to touch the display window, right in front of the sword that's displayed. "Thanks for believing in me, Sana." He smiles at her reflection, watching at how intently she's staring at the display. "I really do appreciate you. When the time's right, I'll... I want to let you know what's been nagging at me. But I'm still trying to get myself in check. It's selfish to ask, but could you wait a little longer?" Wait until he could truly trust himself with who he is. Wait until he could look her in the eye and not feel like a liar both to her and to Insomnia. He blinks and for a second he sees his father, but the image of him fades with another blink. He doesn't realize he's holding onto the end of her sleeve until he feels the wetness of her tears against his fingertips. He smiles again, this time truly meaning it.

“I’ll be okay.” He hopes for her sake and for his.

[venateus]

Nights lingers on his skin far longer than he wishes they would. He hisses at the soreness on his stomach, bruises he'd gotten from getting into a fight with someone on the street. If any other night, he would have laughed and apologized. But tonight's different. Tonight was the strongest dose of alcohol he'd ever tasted in his life. It boggled his mind and made him angry for never realizing. He really is the failure his father thought he was. "I can be more than this." He whispers to himself, settling on the ground in an empty alley way. He's alone here. No strangers to bump into him and punch him when he doesn't apologize, no mother screaming at him to come back, and no father to look at him with scorn in his eyes. But the weight of all his humanity comes crashing down, and he feels so small. He doesn't even realize he's crying until someone leans in and touches his cheek. He jumps, sees a girl he doesn't know staring at him with a pitiful smile on her face. Her cheeks are rosy but whether from the cold wind or being inebriated he doesn't know. She offers her fingertips to wipe away his tears. "You definitely can be more than what's happening to you right now." Her smile now seems much more sincere than it had been. He stares at her, cheeks turning red from the way she keeps her hand on his cheek. She offers more than just a warm touch, and he's nearly forgotten what's waiting for him back home. until he doesn't. "Yeah," he hides the frown by looking down. he moves his head to the side, making sure that her hand isn't and wouldn't be touching his face as he gathers enough strength to get back up. He offers her a smile and the scarf he has wrapped around his neck. "Thank you." He walks away, but takes only a second to send her a wave. Nothing longer than that. He doesn't want to remember her face nor the kindness she's offered to him on a night he knows will leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

[venateus]

continuation from here for @garciti There’s a part of him that knows there should be an order to the world, one where he isn’t the screw up that he is and one where he gets things right. when he sat across the table from her, he can’t help but frown and confess to everything he’s been feeling. it’s as though there’s no one else to tell these to, not even his best pals. they had better things to do than to worry about his stupid emotions. He wanted to say more, but when he saw the look in her eyes, his word drown in his throat. he can’t say more. not when they take out the light in her eyes. he laughed then, shrugging and rubbing the back of his head in a sheepish way to try to lighten the mood. except it made it worse, and all he did was sigh and apologize. “I’ll just talk to you some other time, yeah?” he’s on his feet the next minute, rummaging through his pocket to toss the gil on the table. He turns to look at her, a smile on his face, before he waves and tells her a soft ‘see ya.’ He figures it’s enough for now. he figures that all he needs is some time to think and sort out what the hell is going through his head, or maybe more time to push it aside and forget about it altogether. except that isn’t how sana works, and sana is a component in the equation that he can’t control. “Sana?” he doesn’t pick up what she says in the beginning, taking out his headphones as he cranes his neck down to hear her. through the loudness of everything around them, he narrows in and hears her rushed, apologetic words. He wants to say he isn’t ready to hear this, but the way she confesses everything so sincerely all of a sudden makes him feel bad for making her think she wasn’t a good friend. he bites his lip, looking down at her as if she was some fragile thing he could easily break in his hands. he keeps his hands to his side, clenching his fist at how dumb he’s been. he doesn’t know what to think when she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in as though she was an anchor to hold him on the shore. His hands unclench, headphones hitting the ground, as he awkwardly wraps his arms and pats her back. “You’re not a bad friend, you know.” He fumbles around with his headphones, stuffing them into his pocket. “Uh, you’re actually a really good one.” He smiles, the tilt of his lips crooked in every sense. He tightens his hold around her a little more. “I’ve just got a lot in my head.” there were daemons to fight, people to defeat, and people he wanted to keep safe no matter what. and she was one of those people. “I just need to get stronger, but I just feel so incapable of doing that. I didn’t mean to push all of my…insecurities on you. I’m sorry.” He lets go of her, keeping his hands on her shoulders, as he grins down at her. “But hey, you know, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Even though I’m like this, I’ve made it this far right? That’s gotta count for something.”

[venateus]

he pauses for a moment, wanting to reach out to his mother but instead lets his hands fall to his side. it's at the ripe age of thirteen that he truly understands the vast separation between him and his parents. he was always different from them, always a bit odd but never out of line. he always obeyed, but he never seemed to do anything right in the eyes of his parents. they wanted him to be better, but what the hell did that mean? "I'm sorry I was broken." he confesses to his mother after she threw a vase at the window. she'd been crying again because of his father, and when sunghwa made the mistake of trying to comfort her, she lashed out. "I'm sorry I can't be your perfect son, but I'm trying. Doesn't that count?" she pauses in her assault, gazes at the desperation that lurks behind his light brown eyes. something must've broken in her because all of the anger suddenly changed and morphed into despair and guilt. "You're not even mine." She whispers, so quietly that if he wasn't the person he was, he wouldn't have heard it. "You're just a copy of your goddamn father. You look just like him, you know that? and it makes me hate you more, so get out of my face!"

[venateus]

Prompto I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on-but-I-am-excited Argentum (x)

[venateus]

A Jae in the Life of Day → #1