#just crimes
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Alright, let’s take this up a notch.
#grand theft auto#grand theft auto vice city#gta vice city#vice city#tommy vercetti#gta#I missed my strawberry babycakes tommy#he’s done nothing wrong#just crimes
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Man also RIP Sir Arthur Conan Doyle you would've loved House MD
#i just remembered bro is a doctor#An AU where Holmes and Watson are doctors? cool amirite#sir arthur conan doyle#ACD#acd holmes#house#house md#hate crimes md#malpractice md#hilson#holmes/watson
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Batman gives each of his Robins a different code to use when they’re in trouble and need immediate extraction. He promises that when they call, he’ll drop everything just to get to them, come hell or high water.
Jason, during his time with the League, shares his code with Damian, to be used “only in the direst of circumstances, when you have exhausted all other options.” He doesn’t know if Bruce will answer, given how fractured their relationship was before he died, but it is better than nothing. Every tool counts when they live such dangerous lives.
Damian uses it exactly once, and Bruce, who still feels the loss of his son like a yawning chasm in his chest, responds to it even though he knows it can’t be Jason because Jason’s dead. What he finds, instead of Jason, is a boy in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-small feet, with a face that Bruce sees himself and Talia in, requesting asylum from a grandfather who wishes to possess his body. Bruce doesn’t question how this boy who is so clearly his son knew the code. Talia al Ghul is resourceful and places family above all; the code is not beyond her abilities to discover, and she is not above using Bruce’s desperate love for his dead son to ensure that hers does not meet the same fate.
Bruce takes Damian in, because of course he does, and since Jason is dead he allows Damian to keep using the code. After all, it’s not like Jason is alive to use it, right? If someone uses the code, there’s no one it could be but Damian, right?
The next time the code is used, Bruce traces the location to Gotham even though Damian was supposed to be in Bludhaven visiting Dick. But whatever happened that resulted in Damian being in Gotham can wait, because he has already failed one son and he will not fail another, his son is in trouble and he needs to get to him, he needs to—
What he finds, instead of Damian, is a boy (just eighteen, too young, but also too old, but also he will always be a boy to him) in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-large feet (when had he gotten so big), wearing the face of his dead son.
(Who, maybe, just maybe, may no longer be so dead.)
#Jason sees Bruce answer his code with such desperation and thinks that maybe Bruce still loves him just a little#maybe he doesn’t need revenge maybe he can just go home#maybe when HE calls it instead of Damian Bruce will come get him too#and because of that there’s no red hood in this au#even though I love crime Lord red hood Jason#maybe he can still be a crime lord idk just not one called red hood who baited Batman into choosing between him and joker#Bruce Wayne#Jason Todd#Damian Wayne#Batman#DC#DC comics#DCU#Batfam#Robin#DC Robin#notfic
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.
#batman#batfam#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dc comics#icb i posted this w/o tags the first time#what is wrong w me#superman: where do you find these kids#bruce: they just show up tbh#especially tim. he LITERALLY just showed up#anyone: so which one is really robin?#bruce: they are all really robin.#bruce: dick wanted to kill a man.#jason tried hijacking my tires in CRIME ALLEY.#tim just appeared and made himself robin that was NOT me#stephanie also wanted to kill a man.#damian did kill a man. or two.#YOU try to parent these kids then come back to me clark
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they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes
#book 24#the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this#greatest hits#all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way#and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs#a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls#not exactly war crimes but Ok#sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys#can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird….#if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head#please be normal#will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny#legendary warrior
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but seriously i do find it so funny that ford was like OH GOD MY PRECIOUS REPUTATION after bill possessed him around other people for all of one night
and then he gets back to this dimension after thirty years and this is now the photo the press associates with his name
#we really didn't get to see nearly enough of ford's reaction to all this in the show#i want just several weeks on that boat to be stan continually going oh yeah also- about things he did in ford's name#like that list of crimes from stanchurian candidate where alex hirsch was like yeah i was up until 2am just coming up with dumb puns#but it's like great you are now on record for teaching a bear to drive. 1st degree thermometer theft. burglebezzlement#1st degree llamacide. snacks evasion. pug trafficking. impersonating a dentist. the list goes on#gravity falls#the book of bill#stanford pines#ford pines#stan pines#stanley pines
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I hope in season 6 Marinette commits even more crimes. I hope she steals a cellphone in every episode. I hope she breaks into every house in Paris. I love when Marinette is an illegal perpetrator. God forbid women have hobbies. Is it a sin to let girls have fun?? I didn't think so. Your honor my client can do whatever she wants because I said so. Her boyfriend loves her for it he can bail her out of silly crime jail it's fine.
#marinette dupain cheng#mlb shitpost#ive been thinking about all the crimes people say marinette did#and how all of those make her even more endearing to me#shes just a funny little guy.#whats wrong with that huh#miraculous ladybug
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
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It's always "Hades isn't bad or cruel, his deeds are just metaphors of the inevitable death" or "Hades kidnapping Persephone represent the premature death".
But when the argument "Zeus has numerous affairs and many children because he represent the fertile rain" is brought up, all nuance is suddenly out of the window and Zeus is just a womanizer who can't keep it in his pants.
#hades#zeus#greek mythology#greek gods#greek deities#cherry picking who should be condemned for their “crimes” and who can be excused because “their action is metaphorical”#just shows your ridiculous hypocrisy#if you're gonna judge the gods at least put all of them on the same standard#or maybe - i don't know - understand that you're not in the place to judge the deities from a different culture???#i admit i used to have a “Hades good/Zeus bad” phase too#but i'm growing out of it because in the end i'm only reading the stories from another country
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(looks at upcoming card releases)
I'm in danger :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#smoking#my favorite horrible crime guys are back!!!!#(my hot take is that glomas had a better story but these goobers were just SO fun)#(they should be allowed to kidnap and murder(?) at least a few dozen people. as a treat.)#man i knew there was probably going to be a fellow card and yet i still did a bad job of saving my keys#and there's this year's halloween to think about too!#normally i try to avoid leaks and spoilers but i did accidentally see some stuff and if it's real then holy SHIT#on the other hand fellow attacks by basically throwing gidel at people and i desperately need this on my team#regardless of whether or not the card is actually any good#(if they change the animation to remove gidel i am going to RIOT it needs to be either exactly the same or EVEN SILLIER)#actually it would be hilarious if their stats were terrible. just the worst. and yet...#grown man and his kid with a hammer vs a bunch of teen wizards who can shoot fire#the results may shock you#(if they do the same duos-with-the-last-release as they have been with the staff cards then i will absolutely lose it)#(please twst. it would so useless to me but SO funny)#fellow: it's showtime rollo! :)#rollo: who are you
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A Palestinian journalist pays tribute to his little boy who was just murdered by 'Israel'.
#A Palestinian journalist pays tribute to his little boy who was just murdered by 'Israel'.#palestine#free palestine#freepalastine🇵🇸#abubaker#israel is a terrorist state#israel is committing genocide#israeli war crimes#israel is an apartheid state#israeli terrorism#israel#israhell#gaza strip#gaza genocide#free gaza#gazaunderattack#gaza#all eyes on rafah#save rafah#free rafah#rafah under attack#rafah#palestinian genocide#stop the genocide#genocide joe#genocide#class war#ausgov#politas#auspol
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Yall knew it was coming
#The SPEED at which i made this#less than an hour lmao i just needed to get it out#house md#hate crimes md#house md fanart#hilson#gregory house#james wilson#my art#digital art
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It's super funny to me that, in Suffering, the Siren answers Odysseus's question about how to avoid Poseidon completely truthfully even though she was planning on killing him at first opportunity. It didn't even ping her radar as a suspicious question to ask. It's like her day job is drowning mortal men but her nerdy hobby is nautical navigation and she couldn't help herself. She did NOT have to give him any info but she was like, Ooh fascinating hypothetical question! Here's my analysis on the best way to survive. Anyway, get in the water silly :)
#epic the musical#suffering#the thunder saga#epic the thunder saga#verbatim convo I just had w/ a friend cause I wanted it here too#she's so funny. RIP#your only crime was impersonating a wife guy's wife
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Azerbaijan Grand Prix 2018 -> Saudi Arabian Grand Prix 2024
#formula 1#f1#f1edit#charles leclerc#sebastian vettel#oliver bearman#ollie bearman#does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes#same canal+ presenter at the scene of the crime in both 😭 kisses to my c+ gang love your coverage pls stop paywalling ur content#azerbaijan gp 2018#saudi arabian gp 2024#*#*mine: gif
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I love people who know my tasteee
#girl interrupted#coquette girl#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl interrupted syndrome#girl interupted syndrome#girl rotting#girlblog#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#girlhood#manic pixie dream girl#girlblogging#just girly posts#pinterest girl#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#lana is god#lana unreleased#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del rey#lana del ray aesthetic#lizzy grant#tsh donna tartt#tsh#fyodor dostoevsky#fiona apple#crime and punishment#Spotify
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Michael knows FNAF Moon is a lawsuit waiting to happen
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#vanessa fnaf#fnaf vanny#fnaf moon#moondrop#michael afton#security breach#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf fanart#I don't think I've drawn Michael meeting moon yet#AND TBH he could tell instantly he's a liability#he owned a pizzeria he knows lawsuits#he can just sense moon would cause a ton of issues#AND HES RIGHT#moon literally canonically has multiple complaints about him#from scaring children at the daycare#I can't imagine how much Vanessa has had to see 💀#she knows all this dudes crimes#MOON is kinda insulted tho#he’s just a silly guy your honour
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