#just come talk to me please
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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lokis-army-77 · 7 months ago
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Drop into my inbox, please. I'm bored and I'm feeling up to answering things while I waste away resting from my procedure.
My uncovered eye, i guess, has rested up enough that I can look at my phone screen for a bit
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the-phantom-peach · 1 year ago
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đŸ—Łïž huh?? what do you mean I haven’t posted any Link signing propaganda yet??
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alexsiple · 5 months ago
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I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!
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deep-space-lines · 8 months ago
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okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.
yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything
((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))
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and then they fucked nasty the end
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ewwww-what · 7 months ago
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Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.
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egophiliac · 9 months ago
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CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS
there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head
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I don't know why I decided to draw it this way
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#(these will be relevant in a moment)#this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF.#anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story#and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING#crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED#crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED#(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes)#DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want#but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn.#revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it#and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially#it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it#(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE)#and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color...#unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing.#lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER#crowley's secret is safe for another day#(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way)#(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things)#man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time#wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...
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muirmarie · 2 months ago
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jim being canonically the shortest one of the triumvirate is genuinely so important to me lmao, like yesssssss, let that beefy babe be shorter than both his boyfriends!!!!
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messervixen · 4 months ago
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Guys, you know the whole “James’ type is people who are mean to him” thing?
I think it’s because they make him feel like a real person.
I am forever pushing the “James struggles with feeling like a real person agenda” and I think that initially Lily/Regulus genuinely didn’t like him as a person and that is what made him initially attracted to them. James is one of those “everyone loves him, he’s a literal ball of sunshine” people. But James is nothing if not a people pleaser so he’s always trying to be someone that people like and sometimes he’s not sure that the person he is, is real or just an act.
But they don’t like the person that he shows everyone (because they can subconsciously feel that something is off with James). And no one (excluding Snape and people he doesn’t like because he’s not performing for them) has ever told James that they don’t like him.
So he tries to win both of them over but it doesn’t work because he’s trying to win them over with this not-real-person side of himself and he only wins them over once they see the real James. So by not liking this fake person and seeing through his mask they’re inadvertently helping him learn how to be himself and not be putting on a show all the time.
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heartorbit · 23 days ago
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i want to know everything that makes you happy! đŸ’«đŸȘđŸŽ‡
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welcometogrouchland · 5 months ago
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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professorjirt · 2 months ago
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I’ve discovered my favorite genre of Bagginshield art is where Thorin is a lovesick idiot who is Losing It and Bilbo is unbothered or oblivious to Thorin’s suffering LMAO
#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#if anyone has more please send it to me I have like four rn#I know I made a post a while back talking about how I wish there were more posts that focused on each of their lives outside of each other#and I still stand by that but I also can’t deny the fun in a Important Dwarf like Thorin turning into an idiot around Bilbo#tbh this works even platonically. this guy has friends bc he’s lucky not bc he’s actually friendly#so I can imagine becoming friends with Bilbo is like ‘fuck now I have to be nice bc he WILL actually leave. uh. oh god’#love men who are grouchy and offputting <3#and Bilbo is oblivious not as a flaw but bc he’s just not wired that way and he’s just accepting that Thorin is weird#bc he has no basis of which to assume he isn’t just Like That sometimes same way the dwarves don’t know shit abt hobbits#and it’s not as like. Bilbo being extremely innocent either he’s just not thinking about it LMAO#and Bilbo Also doesn’t have a ton of friends (different reasons but he IS also grouchy and petty) and he’s just ‘?? ok’#they’re both fucking stupid and everyone around them is dying and in anguish#I particularly enjoy when a character who is emotionally constipated and stoic and whatever just starts losing it#not even necessarily in a sappy or angsty way just. those emotions gotta come out eventually#so for a guy like Thorin who takes himself seriously and is very closed off emotionally it’s fun to just imagine that facade cracking#meanwhile Bilbo is just like ‘you ok??’#Bilbo himself has some emotional issues so it’s double the entertainment
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opikiquu · 7 months ago
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these 2 gonna drive me insane
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swordmaid · 1 year ago
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brienne but she's wearing 1949 cocteau's beauty and the beast inspired fit!!! this is the inspo pic i used if ur curious.
gonna be posting more of this redesign thing (and also jaime's ver) some time in the future but i just wanted to share this one <3
#brienne of tarth#asoiaf#mine.#u know literally just as i finished colouring this i found that some theater made an opera version of this batb#and they made belle's dress BLUE...which is a win for me and also not bc they made it light blue#but here it's supposed to be velvet.. idk if it comes across as velvet but that's the fabric of choice lol.#but im gonna ramble because i really like the concept... i love brienne in pearls!! i feel like pearls will be her jewellery of choice#and i talked abt this before in some post but i think tarth regalia would have a lot of pearls just bc they're an island#and i think they would export pearls alongside marble lol#i love brienne in silver and pearls BUT the reason why the flower thing on her cape is gold bc in the film#the pearl chain was actually a gift from the beast. so she's wearing jaime's gift. and i made the cape more silvery white (leaning on white#to resemble his cloak so it's like... jaime gifting her his white cloak..... hihihIHIHIhhihihihihi......#tbh i drew that concept before too BUT I JUST LIKE IT!!!!!!!! i want it to happen actually....please....thank u..#also the feathers in her hair is bc i want to accessorize her in a brienne way BUT ALSO supposed to be like the plumes knights wore in thei#helm. she's wearing trousers in the fit btw only the upper half of the design is based on beauty but the silhouette mimics beasts' more.#but anyway i really like this design!! bc it's a bit ott but also not in a way that seems out of character for her? idk LOL
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radio-writes · 8 months ago
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What is Left of Me Without You?
Synopsis: Your husband didn't love you, not yet at least—that's what he told you. First, he wanted to see just how much you loved him.
Warnings: dubcon, smut, oral - m receiving, sex, abusive relationship, heavy manipulation, gaslighting, some misogyny, angst
Tags: married, one sided romantic love, Alastor x Reader, female!reader, reader is somewhere on the ace spectrum too
MDNI
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To everyone in your town, you and your husband were the picture perfect couple.
Alastor, the bright, charming, down-right intoxicating radio host, walking down the street with you, his absolute darling of a wife on his arm.
Smiling, giggling, sharing hushed whispers. It looked as if the two of you were lost in your own lovely little world.
Even behind closed doors, Alastor proved himself to be the perfect gentleman. You never wanted for anything, never grieved, never felt lonely. 
If you so much as glanced at something by a storefront, Alastor would have it tied with a bow at the foot of your bed.
If anything caused you grief, or even inconvenienced you the slightest bit, Alastor would have dealt with it by the end of the day. 
If you ever felt lonely, well...
You supposed you didn't really have the right to feel lonely. Alastor was always there, wasn't he?
You woke up to the sound of your husband's humming. His smooth voice glided over each note skillfully as you peeled your eyes open.
The sight before you wasn't anything new: the other half of the bed empty and already fixed up. 
You turned to sit up, and found Alastor in front of your vanity as he straightened his bowtie. He caught your eye through the reflection, and his smile broadened.
The greater half of New Orleans would probably kill to be in your place right now. Seated in a lavish bedroom, your famous, dapper husband walking to your side of the bed to place a kiss on your hand. 
"Well good morning, darling! Don't you look adorable in this state." His sweet words greeted you.
It was there again, that odd feeling that sunk in your gut. What was that?
"Good morning, my dear." You greeted him back, ignoring whatever it was. A tired smile graced your lips as you peered up at him. "Headed to work already?" You asked him. 
"Why, of course! Who else would wake up New Orleans and tell all those sleepy bones to shake a leg and hop to work?" He struck a pose, hand on his chest. "Only yours truly, of course!" 
His warm chestnut eyes met yours through the lenses of his glasses. You let out a tired, soft laugh as you glanced away to hide the heat that rose to your cheeks.
You adored this man—every single bit of him—so you found it hard not to get flustered over him, even after all this time. Hell, you were still counting your lucky stars that he chose to marry you of all people.
Why? Well, you tried not to ask yourself that.
He'd already given you his answer, hadn't he?
Alastor placed a chaste kiss to your cheek, quickly pulling you out of your thoughts before they could spiral. You looked back at your husband as he said something about having to run off or risk being late.
You remained sat in your bed, smiling and watching with hearts in your eyes as your darling husband waved on his way out of your room. 
"Looking forward to what you'll cook up this evening, sweetheart!" Alastor grinned, right before the door shut behind him.
And it was there again.
The gnawing feeling was coming by more and more frequently now. What was it?
Was it actually loneliness? But that would be so silly, wouldn't it?
Your husband didn't love you, but he trusted you. And that should be enough for now.
At least, that's what he said when he proposed.
You and Alastor knew each other for a very long time, and basically all of New Orleans knew you took a very strong liking to him.
Alastor had raised the proposition back then. You remember how he had explained that it would be a good thing for both your sakes. How you'd get to be with someone you loved oh so much, and how convenient it would be for him to finally get marriage out of the way. And even more so with a cherished friend like you!
Sure, you hesitated back then; unsure if you really wanted to marry a man who didn't love you the way you did him. But he sung you praises, he sung you promises.
You were darling, you were beautiful, you were smart, you were kind. How could he not grow to love you in your marriage? How could he resist falling for a such a doll who was offering him her heart?
So you said yes. 
Because you loved Alastor with every bit of your heart, but he simply just wasn't ready to love you back yet.
And he was such a lovely man who never failed to shower you with affection. Maybe you were just asking for too much—fretting over such small things—for you to feel upset about waking up without your husband beside you. 
And—and he was a radio host, after all. Of course he had to get to work early.
You really didn't need to spare it another second of thought.
No, what you really needed to focus on was how you could help your dear, hardworking husband.
You shook your head and slapped your hands softly against your cheeks. You've got to knock that annoying feeling loose. It was all so pointless.
With a more determined look, you got up from the bed. You neatly fixed the sheets and pillows, taking extra care to make sure every single wrinkle was smoothened out.
You silently ran over the list of tasks you had to do today.
Obviously there's cleaning and making sure the house was in order. It would be a real shame if Alastor came home to an untidy space. He's already out working late for both of you, the least you could do was make sure he had a clean home to rest in.
You ought to make time to drop by the market for some fresh meat to cook up. Alastor would surely be famished after work, right? And your mama always did say that the quickest way to a man's heart was through his stomach. 
You could also drop by the tailors and get the hem of one of your Alastor's dress shirts straightened out. He hasn't said anything about it, but he's avoided using that particular one for a while now. You knew the uneven stitches had to be bugging him.
Oh, you really needed to pass by a locksmith, too. That dang lock on the basement door still had not budged no matter what Alastor did, and you just could not find the key anywhere.
You've been waving the issue off for a while now—Alastor was right in saying there's no real rush to it, nothing really important down there, anyway—but it'd be nice to have the extra storage available to you again.
You let out a huffed breath and placed your hands on your waist. You held your head high and ready. "Right. Let's get this show started."
It was a busy day, as it always was for you. The hours ticked by as quickly as loose sand through an open palm.
You didn't have time to feel lonely, not when you were too busy scrubbing with all your might against a particularly stubborn grease stain on your sink. 
When the house was finally all neat, you got yourself ready to head out. Hair done, just a touch of make up, and a rather modest dress—at least as modest as Alastor had bought you. That man did lean towards the more finer tastes.
You felt it was a bit much just to do a few errands, but you were the sweet wife of a local personality. You had an image to uphold. You had to make sure you didn't do anything to tarnish your darling husband's reputation. 
This was just part of the whole package, you supposed. Nothing that can be done about it.
Heading out into the afternoon sun, you painted on a bright smile for all the kind people that greeted you. Cheery, happy, friendly. Oh, but not too friendly.
Meek, quiet, all prim and proper. The makings of a fine lady worthy of her spot by the dapper radio host's side.
You dropped your husband's shirt off by the tailors first. They seemed to be more than happy to rush your request once you let slip who it belonged to. They promised they could have it ready in just a few hours. You thanked them softly, and noted how they were such jolly workers, laughing even as you left the store.
You dropped by the locksmith before the market, not really wanting to carry out a bunch of raw meat as you went about your day.
The nicely dressed man was a bit—difficult to talk to. He seemed to think you had no idea what a door even was. He had just started explaining how you open a doorknob when you felt your cheeks start to strain from how hard you worked to maintain a smile.
"Oh dear me, would you look at the time," You politely cut him off, pretending to be shocked at how late into the day it was. "I am so sorry, sir, but my husband should be coming home any minute now and I haven't even started on dinner!" 
A lie. Alastor always came home late.
The man raised a brow at you in disbelief. Not that he didn't buy your act, but more judgmental that a woman would be so careless as to forget to take care of her spouse.
You ignore the look he gave you, keeping your shy smile on. "Maybe you could just sell me the tools. I could get my husband to work on it."
"Sure thing, sweetheart," The man shrugged. "I'll get what you need in a split, so you can run back and make a quick stew at the very least."
He ended up selling you the tools, along with a bunch of other needless things, with the assurance that your husband would definitely need them all.
You bit your tongue as you smiled and thanked him.
Why on earth would you need a box of nails and a bottle of glue to split a lock open?
But you really did not have it in you to stand in that shop any longer.
Besides, how would it look if the papers caught whiff of Alastor's sweet little wife yelling and lecturing a local shop keeper.
You couldn't burden your husband like that.
You hurriedly rushed to the market before they could close, buying the best cut of meat they still had at this hour, before you made your way back to the tailors to check on the progress.
The workers snickered as you entered, but you really didn't think much of it until they pulled out the dress shirt you dropped off.
A large, nasty stain of lord-knows-what sat right at the center of what used to be its pristine white color.
Your smile strained badly. "Oh dear, what on earth happened?" You asked with feigned worry. You already knew what happened.
"Afraid we spilled a bit of lunch on it, sweetie." One of the ladies explained, her companions giggling behind her. "Couldn't be avoided, unfortunately."
You felt your eye twitch.
"I'm sure a lovely doll like you could find a way to fix it. Wouldn't want that hotty husband of yours to leave your pretty face for something like this, would ya?" She went on.
"You better run, though. I heard the cleaners were planning on closing up early today." Another bitch woman spoke up.
Had you been any less horrified at your husband's ruined shirt, you would have been fuming.
You quickly took the shirt and paid, rushing out before you did anything stupid. Like cry.
Oh Alastor's rivals would have a field day twisting a story like that.
As you left the ladies called out "We did straighten the hem, darling!" And a more snarky, muttered comment, "Although, you'd think someone as handsome as Alastor could find a gal that could do something that simple herself."
The walk back home was probably the most tiring part of it all. Having to keep your back straight, your smile lovely, your voice friendly. Never letting the kind people know anything was wrong.
Because you knew those kind people were all itching to have any reason to gossip about your husband.
And you just couldn't have that.
Your shoulders finally sagged as you closed the door to your house. Your smile dropped immediately as you leaned against the door in exhaustion.
You stuffed the ruined shirt in your bag, thinking maybe your can throw it out later on, but you just knew Alastor would notice it was missing. He won't be happy with you, that's for sure.
Never mind that you've bent over backwards for the better half of a year to cater to him. Never mind that you've hidden all your faults under the rug. Never mind that you've been absolutely devoted to him even before your marriage.
You had to be perfect.
But you weren't. And you knew that. It seemed every other woman in New Orleans knew that. And now with the ruined shirt, Alastor would know that too.
He'll see you as less.
It's there again, that's stupid heavy feeling in your gut. Whatever it was.
You sighed in defeat. If you couldn't get the shirt fixed, maybe you could at least make sure he had a good meal to come home to? Maybe that could make him overlook your faults this time.
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You burnt it. Somehow,—despite normally being an amazing cook every other time besides tonight—you managed to burn dinner.
You put your hands over your face, groaning in frustration, just absolutely exasperated. Why on earth was everything going wrong today. Why couldn't you just do one thing right? Why couldn't you just be of some help to Alastor? Why—
You lifted your face from your hands, attempting to slow your breathing. Your eyes glanced around your ruined kitchen and your burnt dinner, and that stupid shirt peaking out of your bag, and...the door to the basement? 
Right! Maybe there could still be one thing you could do right today.
You wiped your hands over your apron, immediately scrambling for the tools you bought earlier today. 
While you weren't the smartest when it came to these things, surely you could figure something out to try to loosen the lock.
You've watched your gentle husband fiddle around with the lock many times before, never opting to break the thing. You suspected he didn't want to look in any way violent in front of you, but you always thought it was so needlessly complicated.
You grabbed a hammer from the pile of junk and made your way towards the basement door. You tested the lock's strength with a few, rather light, taps of the hammer head. It didn't feel that sturdy. You thought you could definitely break it with a bit of force on your end.
You gripped the handle with both hands and brought the hammer down on it.
Once. The sound of metals clashing echoed in your house
Twice. You had to do at least this today.
Thrice. You can't be useless to him.
You smashed the hammer down onto the lock one more time and the battered thing fell to floor. 
Your eyes widened, lips spreading into grin out of relief.
Thank heavens, you managed something today. Alastor would be glad to hear this, at least. 
You bent over, picking up the fallen lock from the floor.
A weight pressed against you from behind.
Startled out of your wit, you stood up straight, just in time for whoever it was to flatten your body right against the basement door.
"What a lovely sight that was." You hear Alastor's voice right by your ear.
His head found home where your shoulder and head met. His nose trailed up against your skin as he breathed you in.
A gasp escaped your parted lips as you feel his hands squeeze the flesh of your hips harshly.
"Alastor?" You were partly dazed, confused what was happening.
His hips pressed against yours at the sound of his name from your mouth, and you all but recoil.
Alastor was rarely handsy, and that was fine by you. You actually realized that you much preferred it that way. Alastor's love being the only thing you ever really wanted from him.
Moments like these have always caught you off guard.
Because your husband knew that. He knew you weren't comfortable with being intimate. He knew you'd much rather have him just sit by you. He knew you weren't one to jump his bones.
And Alastor normally respected that.
"What a naughty little doll you are," Alastor's breath hot against your skin. "Welcoming a man home all bent over, presenting yourself." He whispered.
Your eyes widened, attempting to turn to face him, but his body kept yours pinned to the door.
"Baby, no. I," Your breathing had gone a bit ragged. "I was just picking up this lock here."
You raised your hand, showing the broken, battered lock in your grip. "I finally managed to open the stubborn thing." You tried to smile up at him over your shoulder, expecting praise.
Alastor's eyes stayed on the lock for a second too long you think, before his hand circled your wrist and yanked your arm behind your back. His swift hands made your other arm follow after it immediately.
The ache in your limbs, the grip he had on you, the shock of it all made the lock tumble right out of your grasp.
Alastor let out a hum of disappointment. "That's a real shame, sweetheart. I thought you were finally opening up to me." He said, his voice still filled with mirth. "Could have really used it tonight, too."
You felt him ground his hips against your clothed ass. His half hard cock evident against you.
He used one hand to keep your arms where they were, the other made its way to caress up your torso. His large palm trailing past your breasts, ending up by your soft cheeks.
Contrasting with the ones that held you still, his fingers were gentle against your face. His fingertips barely ghosted over your skin.
"I had a rather rough day at work, you see. Could you blame a man for wanting a little comfort from his wife?" He whispered.
The words hung in the air. Your lips unable to deny him, but unable to agree all the same.
A heartbeat passes, and suddenly you were free. Alastor stepped back from you, your body relaxing at the absence of his towering figure. 
"But what kind of ruffian would I be to force a lady to do that against her will," Alastor said, his tone rather carefree.
You turned around to finally face him, only to see him looking else where.
Your eyes followed his line of sight and you noticed the ruined shirt, pulled out of the bag, sitting right next to a burnt dinner, all framed by a horribly messy kitchen.
Alastor looked back at you, his charming smile ever present. "I'm sure you excel at all the other aspects of being a wife, anyway." He says, as if he hadn't just seen the failure you've made of your day.
He began to walk away, and your hand reached out before you could even think. Almost as if on reflex. Almost as if it's what you had to do.
You meekly pulled him back. His eyes watched you, almost expectantly, as you cupped your palms against his cheeks, and invited him down to meet you.
Your lips brushed chastely against his as he let out a satisfied hum.
You pulled away just enough to speak, your eyes looking up at him as your breaths mixed. "What...what can I do for you, my love?"
Alastor's smile stretched, his lips dipping down to meet yours again for a second time. His hand quickly found its way to the small of your back, heavy as he ushered you out of the kitchen.
"I think that's better discussed in the bedroom, darling." He purred against your ear.
You swallowed thickly against your tightening throat. 
Normally Alastor's hands on you were cherished, but you wanted nothing more than to squirm away from his hold right then. You knew where this was heading, but it just was not something you ever found appealing.
But you could do it for Alastor, right? You have done it for him before, anyway. 
Even if you didn't particularly enjoy it, at least you'd be satisfying your husband. At least you'd be close to him. At least you'd be useful to him.
Alastor, like the chivalrous gentleman he is, opened the door of your bedroom for you as he lead you in. You heard the click of the lock behind you, right before you were quickly tossed onto your bed.
You squealed as your felt your body bounce against the soft sheets. Your dress bunched up your thighs as you adjusted your legs.
Alastor stood at the foot of your bed, working his bowtie off with nimble fingers. "Darling, why so tense? It's only me." He says, his voice almost soothing.
But it was there again. That annoying feeling. It seems heavier than ever.
Was it really loneliness? 
How could you even be lonely now, when the man you love was waiting to mount you.
"I'm just nervous, that's all, darling," You managed to say honestly. "It hurt quite a bit last time."
Your eyes watched closely as Alastor's hand made quick work of the buttons in his vest, shrugging it off and placing his knee on the bed. His eyes trained on your reactions all the while, enjoying the flicker of uncertainty on your face as you bit your lip.
"I know a way we can ease that," He said. He reached out his hand to you, inviting you to take it.
Your shaky hand didn't hesitate. Because you'd do anything for this man.
You loved Alastor, so much, with your whole body, but he seemed to revel a bit too much in that knowledge.
He knew you could never deny him. So when your hand was in his, he pulled you closer, watching with delight as you awkwardly crawled to the end of your bed.
"Care for a box lunch, darling? It'd hurt less if we're a lot more slick." Alastor teased, chuckling as you looked at him with confusion.
The gears seemed to click in your head when one of his hand rested on your hair, the other worked his belt off.
"Oh," Was pretty much all you managed to squeak out. It was definitely not what you expected. 
You hadn't noticed that you tried to pull away until Alastor applied a bit more pressure on your scalp to keep you still. 
He pulled his heavy cock free from its confines. He ran his hand over it, lazily pumping the hardening member in his palm as his gaze was transfixed on you.
Your wide eyes watched every movement of his hand. Panicked, you seemed. Not unlike many panicked does he's shot down in the past.
Not unlike many panicked other things he's felt lose life under his hands.
"Something wrong?" Alastor mused, head tilting as he watched you flinch at the sight of his dick twitching.
Your eyes finally pulled away from your husband's groin, looking up to meet the man's lidded gaze behind his glasses. "We haven't really tried that before and," You bit your lip, unsure on how to proceed. "It just seems a bit deviant." 
"Well then it's lucky we're both in such safe company then, isn't it?" The hand in your hair loosened it's grip, opting to softly comb through your hair. The slight tension in your shoulders melted away. "I've been rather curious about what all fuss was about, didn't really have a partner I trusted enough before to try, though." 
Your breath caught in your throat at his words. He saw how bad you messed up today, didn't he? He saw how miserably you failed at the simplest of tasks. But he still trusted you? He still trusted you enough to do something as unorthodox as this?
"I suppose I've been rather curious about it myself." You smiled up at him nervously, your hand reached out by your own choice to hold his hefty cock in your palm.
You were lying.
He knew you were lying and he loved it.
"Then open up, my dear." You heard him say, gently guiding your head closer to his crotch.
You decided looking up at your husband was easier than watching your own hand pleasure his shaft. You kept his gaze as you parted your lips, letting your soft tongue meet the skin of his head before wrapping your lips around it.
There was a rather salty taste in your mouth, a bit of his precum leaking onto your tongue. You tried not to cringe at the taste, choosing instead to focus on the way Alastor's brows furrowed when you took more of him into your warm, obedient mouth.
"How do I taste, darling?" He teased, knowing you couldn't answer. 
He looked down at you expectantly. Not knowing what else you could do, you began to slowly bob your head, keeping your lips wrapped around his shaft.
You took your time, slowly letting more of him past your lips each time you sank your head back down. Eyes trained on your husband's face, part of you wondering if he'd praise you if you did a well enough job. But it seemed your efforts offered far too little friction for Alastor's patience.
His hips started moving against your face. Softly at first, but he soon began to push at your head to meet his thrusts.
The head of his hard cock nudged your throat and you choked. Your hands immediately went to his hips, nails digging in with how hard you held onto him. 
Tears forms in your eyes as you looked up at your husband, and your heart immediately filled with panic when you were met with a look of disappointment. 
"Hmm. Seems this might have been too much for you to handle." He sighed, finally pulling you off his dick.
A string of saliva stayed between the head of his cock and your lips as you coughed and gasped for air. 
But even as your jaw throbbed, you went to reach your hand out and tried to lean back in towards his dick. "No, no. I can do it, I promise," You said hurriedly.
"There's no need to force yourself, my darling wife," Alastor tutted, pushing you back by your shoulder, stopping you from getting another chance to prove yourself. "We can't help that you have your limits."
"I just need practice." You swore, looking up at your husband. You hated that you disappointed him again.
His fingers reach out to tilt your chin up, making space for his lips at your neck as he slowly pushed you back into the bed with his own body.
"If you ask nicely enough, I'm sure we can have you try again another time," Alastor said softly, as if granting you such a troublesome request.
The back of your head softly met your pillows as Alastor nudged your legs apart with his knee.
He slotted himself between your legs, grinding his slick cock impatiently against your panties. His groan was practically breathed into your ear.
You wanted to hear more of it. While you weren't particularly eager for sex, you were starved for your husband's praises. And if this is what it took then so be it.
You bucked your hips up to remove your underwear, your groin meeting his lazy thrusts as you did. 
"And here I was beginning to think you didn't want me." Alastor jested as he parted from your neck to help you rid yourself of your underwear. His long fingers slid the flimsy thing down one leg and let it stay on the other.
"There probably isn't a woman in this apple that doesn't want you, my love." You half-joked, but your soft laugh abruptly ended in a gasp.
Alastor pressed the thick head of his cock at your entrance, teasingly pushing in just the smallest bit. "You're most likely right," He said, watching as your eyes closed at his trespass. "But you are the only one lucky enough to have me."
And you should know it.
Your back arched as your husband pushed past the tight hole of your entrance. What little resistance your walls made barely bothered him as his throbbing head forced your walls apart.
His hands dug into the sheets by your body. The smooth covers wrinkling in his grip as he strained to stay still.
"This alright for you, darling?" He asked, running his thumb softly under your eye to coax you into looking at him.
Your heart fluttered. Even when in such carnal need he cared about your silly little wants. You pry your eyes open to see Alastor peering down at you with a smile.
"I could stay with this much if you need me to." He told you, rocking hips barely moving. The head of his cock nearly slipping out before he pushed back in, just until it disappeared again into your warm walls.
He was being so kind and accommodating, you couldn't bring yourself to be so needlessly selfish.
Your cunt strained to take even just his very tip, but it was so pointless to let something like that get in the way. Your petty little apprehensions shouldn't matter. Not when you're with your husband.
Your lips strained to force a smile. "I think I can take more, my dear."
It was all Alastor really needed to hear. he dragged his dick out of you, letting it slip out. Wanting you to feel how empty you were without him. Before he rammed his hips against yours; sheathing his cock fully in your warm cunt.
"What a gal," Alastor praised. "Loving, kind, and gentle, but takes a cock like she's on the clock in a call house."
Alastor loved the way you keened at his words.
He loved the way you yearned for his touch, even when you both knew it wasn't your game.
He loved the way you worshiped him, always so desperate to please him.
Oh, how he loved how you were always so ready to give him everything. 
Alastor loved you, but just not in the way you hoped.
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When you woke up the next morning, the view in front of you wasn't anything new.
Alastor's half of the bed was empty. The previously rumpled sheets for the previous night's rendezvous were pristine and smoothened out once more.
It was there again. Whatever that feeling was. 
You assumed it's going to be here for a while.
Alastor seemed to have already headed out before you awoke, not that it felt any different from other mornings.
With a sigh you made your bed. Once again going over everything you had to do for the day.
You had to clean—because you always had to clean—but more so now knowing you left quite the mess yesterday. You have to stop by the market once more, maybe look through clothing stores to find a new shirt for Alastor.
You didn't want him upset with you over that after all. While he didn't bring it up, you knew it still likely bothered him.
You made your way to the kitchen, ready to get the day started.
Except something glimmered as you walked by it. Your head turned to its direction, seeing the same padlock you broke the night before in perfect condition—back on the door to the basement.
Your brows furrowed as you approached it. Fingers gingerly examining the cold metal.
But, how could it be back on here? You swore you broke this stubborn thing last night.
From the corner of your eye, you see a note on the counter, immediately recognizing Alastor's messy handwriting. 
Yes, of course. He must have replaced the old one and fixed whatever damaged you did on the door while you were asleep. That would easily explain it.
You picked up the note, smiling softly to yourself at how silly it was to be confused.
It was a brilliant bash, my darling, but it seems this lock is just much too sturdy :(
Don't fret! I'll find a way to open it eventually! Do try to stay away from the tools though, dear. We wouldn't want you hurting your soft delicate hands!
Yours, Alastor
P.S.
I'd prefer a little less char on the meat this time! Haha!
You tried to reread the note several times, wondering if your husband was pulling your leg again. 
You broke this lock, you knew you did.
You swung a hammer at it thrice and it broke. 
Thrice? Or was it four times?
Whatever, the count didn't matter.
Or did it? 
You remained where you stood, confused at what to believe. The note still clutched in your hands.
Did you really break the lock last night? Or were you just so desperate to get something right that your fooled yourself into thinking that?
If you broke the lock then why was it still there now? Why would your darling husband tell you otherwise?
The only reasonable conclusion was that you didn't.
Surely, that made sense, right?
Your eyes stared at the note. Alastor's name seemingly bright against everything else. 
No other possibility made sense. Besides, if Alastor trusted you enough to marry you, it only made sense to return that privilege.
Right.
Your eyes lifted from the note, to the kitchen in front of you. The mess you made still loud and present and ugly. 
There was no use standing there fretting over such a silly, pointless, thing. Not when you had more pressing matters to attend to.
Who really cares about a dumb little lock, anyway? Didn't you have such a long list of tasks to do today?
Like proving your worth
To yourself
To the world
To your husband. 
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Part 1 of 2 I hadn't intended for this fic to run as long as it did, and the best part was yet to come. It would have taken ages to get this out if I didn't cut it into half. Anyway, Read part 2 of 2 here!
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colorful-horses · 10 months ago
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Been watching that new Hazbin Hotel show as it's coming out (đŸŽâ€â˜ ïž) and I'm pretty disappointed with it. I'm not super familiar with the Everything about it, but I remember watching the pilot way back when and liking the premise.
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I hadnt kept up with it after the pilot because I wanted to see it with fresh eyes. Now that the show is coming out, somehow I feel like an outsider watching it lol. It presents a lot of concepts, but it just assumes the watcher is already familiar with the characters, and it makes the pacing reeeeally odd. It's all payoff, no buildup (unless you count the years fans had to wait for it as 'build up'). I feel like I REALLY need to look for supplementary material to understand what's going on,, like.... why was there a whole emotional power ballad for a character who was only introduced 10 minutes prior?? Was I supposed to know who she was?😭 (her heels were cool though)
Tonally it's strange, too. It feels like an adult show written for teenagers a lot of the time, which is the BIGGEST disappointment. I was really hoping for more thoughtful explorations of the characters, but we really only get that for Angel Dust and like .... no one else lol. (Sir Pentious is the 👏FUCKING👏BEST👏)
Charlie and Vaggie feel ESPECIALLY underbaked. Considering how overtly sexual the show is, it's SHOCKING how little chemistry they have. Like, it's not there at all. I watched the show with a friend who had no knowledge about Hazbin Hotel whatsoever, and during episode 4, she asked me,"So why is Vaggie helping here?" which I feel is the best example I can give for how poorly developed their relationship is.
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I like the music. The song transitions are usually really jarring (Respectless and Hell's Greatest Dad come to mind) but the songs themselves are usually bangers. I'm a big fan of Loser, Baby.
The designs are ..... not for me. But that's not necessarily a criticism. A lot of the character designs feel very dated, but I respect them for sticking so hard to the aesthetic they present, even if its not for me. I wish there was more outfit and body type variety in the characters, but literally EVERYONE says that, so I'll just leave that there lol.
Overall I think this show is a shining example of why """"filler"""" episodes are so important. If this were a 12 or even 24 episode season I think it'd be way better, but as it is, they're trying to cram like 15 different character arcs + a dramatic overarching story into 8 episodes, and it's really REALLY suffering for it.
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