#just be honest. you don't believe me and even if you did you dont care what happens to me bc i dared call out your fave

[snekdood]

why does it feel like...

ppl: believe victims!!

me: im a victim

ppl: actually u should be able to forgive and understand ur abuser and stop blaming them for being shitty bc they had a sad upbringing, actually, did u know,

as well as

ppl: yeah, fuck snake

someone else: yknow hes accused of being abusive too

ppl: omg yeah its probably 100% true and im not gonna question it further bc I hate him so much and i'm gonna act like its fine he was abused and my hatred and possible attempts to sabotage him is always justified in spite of doing abuser apologia earlier against him

[im-am-not-a-weenie]

🍓period comfort

This is self indulgent 😃.

Reader is AFAB and I will be using she/her pronouns

shout out to all the girlies who don't like taking medicine and just power through it the cramps.

hinting at period sex with astarion, yknow how it is

spelling errors <3

see end for a/n

Gale, Astarion, halsin,

🍓Gale

you felt like shit. utter shit. if you didn't believe in the gods now you did because you've been praying for them to end your suffering hours ago. you were curled up in a ball in the corner of your tent

"Love, are you in here?'' your pity party was interrupted by your darling boyfriend Gale.

you let out a grunt to signal that you were in fact under the heap of blankets in the corner, you could hear a faint chuckle and footsteps nearing you

Gale crouched down and his knees gave a loud pop which made you smile a bit. "are you ok?" he asked gently. you shook your head under the blankets. "can I see you please?" his voice soft and words kind

with a huff you peaked out through the blankets. "there she is" Feeling his hand tuck a piece of your hair away you looked up. "what seems to be the matter?"

"I'm dying" you groaned. he immediately removed all your blankets and began scanning your body for injuries. "what's hurt, are you ok. you should tell me when you get hurt. or at least see Shadowheart or Halsin-." he rambles on

grabbing his worried hand and bringing it up for a kiss getting him to stop his ramble. " I'm fine gale, is just my period" That got him to stop, "oh" his face flushed, and just looked at you for a few seconds

"Why didn't you say that" he left the tent. before you could even get up to check on him he was back with a small basket filled with different plants food and canteens

you made a face of disbelief "Where did you get all of that on such short notice" The only answer you received was "I'm a wizard" he started to pile the blankets back on you but this time joining you in the pile

"eat this" he gave you a purple looking plant "it'll help your cramps " he said gently, you just shook your head. "cmon it'll make you feel better" he prompted." "I know," you said with a shrug and just snuggled into him

"Dont want icky medicine" he wrapped his arms around you pulling you close "Then what do you want" his hand started to play with your hair. "you" he let out a soft chuckle "That I can do"

you lay there in comfortable silence before Gale interrupted it. "you know I will make you eat that later right." you giggled "I'd like to see you try Wizard Boy."

spoiler alert, you ate the plant

🍓Astarion

let's be honest. he could care less (lies). astarion is one of those people who passively aggressively takes care of you

in a similar fashion you were in your tent curled up on the floor before astarion rudely barged in. "what are you still doing in bed." he asked dryly. you just groaned.

rolling his eyes he walked over and nudged you with his foot "Get up." looking up at him with a baffled expression you just stared at him "Did you just kick me?"

he scoffed "Darling I nudged you, you'll see kicking if you stay in bed any longer" he threatened with a smirk. "fuck off astarion i don't have to deal-" you cut yourself off with a groan as you doubled over and clutching your abdomen.

"stop being dramatic. it's not my fault you stayed up with Karlch and Wyll all night. you gave yourself the hangover now deal with it- why does it smell like blood in here." he looked confused and looked back down to you noticing how you clutching your lower stomach. it took a minute but finally, he connected the dots.

he sighed sitting on the ground and pulled you into his lap. "oh my poor dear." it was one of those rare occasions where his voice was soft and genuine

his hand trailed down and rested on your lower stomach. "does it hurt right here?" he asked softly as his other hand played with your hair. after answering with a simple nod he started to softly massage there trying to relieve some pressure.

"y'know," he said with a mischievous smile "you smell delicious right now. Gasping you hit him playfully "astarion." he giggled and held you tight against him. "come now dear we both know it wouldn't be the first time" he pressed a kiss on the top of your head

rolling your eyes fondly you giggled with him. "maybe later when I'm not feeling like I'm being stab." "of course darling, just think of it like an extra meal for me" that earned him another playful hit.

🍓Halsin

walking. sooooooooooo much walking, when will we stop walking. you think to yourself, you and your companions have been walking for almost the whole day, and for what. to look for a stupid necklace for a stupid-

"my heart are you alright" Internal monologue was interrupted by your mountain of a boyfriend Halsin. "No, I'm alright" quickly dismissing his worry. you didn't really want to do this quest but you knew the sooner you got it done the sooner you could make camp

he looked unsure but nodded making sure to slow his strides to walk with you. you felt his hand grasp yours. everything was fine until it wasn't, you felt a sharp pain in your uterus. you inhaled a deep breath and stopped moving, closing your eyes and trying to collect yourself

halsin stopped to observe you "Are....are you sure you're feeling well?" you felt a hand on your shoulder. your eyes met his, you gave him a reassuring smile "It's just cramps bear, I'll survive"

he looked at you worried "You started your cycle?" it made you laugh a tad. "no, not yet."

"then why-" "Halsin my love, I get cramps before during, and after. I'm fine" you explained calmly. another painful wave washed over you. this time Halsin picked you up and started walking in the opposite direction of anyone else

"Not that I'm complaining but what are you doing?" you giggled at the sudden lift. no matter how big you were Halsin made you feel small, but in a good way

"I'm taking you to camp," he said simply and left no room for arguments 'if you are suffering I'd rather you suffer in my arms in our bedroll' he kissed the top of your head.

you felt safe and loved, the rhythm of Halsin's steps made you drift to sleep. when you awoke you were wrapped up tightly in Halsin's arms, your bodies tangled together you smiled and kissed Halsin's cheek before falling asleep again

hey. i did it i posted on time. anyway, i hope yall liked this! it was purely self-indulgent. also thank you for all the love of my last post! I've never gotten that many notes before. my inbox is open for requests. and i also can write for other characters bg3. <3

[urlovebot]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Too close

closeted bada, bf-to-ex howl, secret gf y/n.

c/w: angst. angry howl, homophobia, minor and very, very minor physical harm done to bada. closeted bada, out and proud reader. its alooooot of angst. some comfort at the end though so don't worry!

a/n: the characters depicted are not related nor based off of their personalities in real life. this is purely fiction. also shout out to @wrosie-writes. they wanted to see anti howl fic. they ask, they shall receive. enjoy!

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"are you okay?"

bada hears howl, but she's more concerned with the contents on her phone than she is with him.

"i'm fine." bada tries to make it sound as believable as possible.

“i don’t get you.” howl glares at her, eyes boring into the back of her head.

“...what are you talking about?”

“you and y/n. you’re just really close with her. you confide in her, you trust her. it kind of pisses me off if i’m being honest.”

bada moves her focus from the tv to howl who stands behind the couch she sits on. she looks at him incredulously. why is he bringing this up now?

“what prompted this?”

“you. i know you’re texting her right now.”

bada challenges him, “and if i am?”

howl rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. he was so fucking fed up with you. every chance you got, you were with howl and bada. howl felt like you were intruding all the time, meanwhile, bada told you to not be a stranger. he was angry.

“i want you to stop talking to her.”

bada fully turns around and blinks up at him, “what?”

howl’s eyes narrow, “you heard me. stop talking to her.”

bada shakes her head, “i shouldn’t have to choose. don’t make me choose.”

howl stands firm and bada almost caves. a part of her loves howl. another part of her loves you, deeply.

bada stands up and tries to walk around him. what the fuck was she supposed to do? why was he putting her in this impossible position?

“lets go to bed and talk about this in the morning. please.”

bada continues walking towards their shared bedroom but howl stops her. he grabs hold of her wrist and pulls, “don’t walk away from me. you’re avoiding this.”

she wrenches her hand out of his grip and rubs at her wrist. he’d never done that before and it hurt. it hurt.

“i just don’t want to talk about it right now.”

howl frowns and tries to grab at her again but bada dodges his advancement toward her. she shifts to the other side of the island in their kitchen.

“i dont like this.”

she felt scared. small.

howl raises his voice, “you know what i don’t like? watching my girlfriend be mentally intimate with another person. you’re not even fucking her, you just care too much about her. you pour yourself into her instead of me. god, bada, we havent had sex in weeks! you barely let me hold your hand. Is it y/n? is she forcing you to do something you don’t want to do?”

bada’s jaw drops momentarily. but her shock is replaced with anger and frustration. distress and confusion. “what did you mean by that last part?” she leans forward and places her hands on the surface in front of her.

“you heard me. i know y/n likes women. is she coming on to you? you know i don’t like that and i can make her stop if you want me to. just say the words.”

bada shakes her head, confusion still drawn on her face, “you can make her stop? how? and what do you think it is that she could possibly be doing? what’s so wrong with her liking women?”

howl puts his head in his hands. he couldn’t believe how dense bada was acting. it’s like she didnt understand that-

“i don’t like that about her. you know that doesn’t sit right with me. i can take care of it. of her.”

fear pools in the bottom of bada’s stomach. she gets nauseous and thinks carefully about her next words as they mean alot for your own personal safety. she did not want to compromise that. she… she did not want to compromise herself either. she tries to act passive and pulls out her phone. she sends you a quick “sos” and sets her phone on the counter.

“you don’t need to take care of anything. stop worrying about it. about me. about her. everything is fine. i’m tired baby, can we please just let this go for the night?”

she glances down as she sees the texts coming in from you.

are you okay?

please answer me.

are you at howls?

its late, i need to know if you’re safe

i see your location, i’m on the way

*y/n has shared their location with you*

i’ll be there in 10 minutes. if it’s howl messing with you again, i swear to god i’ll take that fucker out tonight.

howl rounds the corner of the island and takes steady strides to bada and she stumbles back, praying that you show up sooner rather than later.

“you don’t see how she’s fucking with your head? she doesn’t love you like i do, bada.” howl reaches a hand up to bada’s face.

bada shakes in fear, its creeping up her spine and she can feel his breath on her face. he’s too close.

he’s too brave.

bada takes his hand in hers and places it back down by his side,

“you don’t love me howl. I’m something for you to show off like a trophy to your friends. I have no real meaning to you. you dress me up and make me out to be whoever you want me to be, but i’m not her. I’m not the girl you want me to be so desperately.”

bada straightens up for the first time in a couple months and she laughs as she realizes - her and howl stand at the same height. it makes her chuckle in his face. she advances towards him instead and now, the tables turn. howl looks almost… disturbed? shocked? he’d never seen bada be so… firm. so confident.

“y/n lets me be myself. fully. she accepts every part of me without question. her love is unconditional with no limit. no ceiling. there are no dealbreakers- she just loves me. howl i cant even wear sweatshirts around you without you saying i’m not being feminine enough. i’m not pretty enough. but y/n? it doesn’t matter what the fuck i have on because its me. and she loves me regardless.”

bada’s phone dings again and as she looks down at it, its you.

i’m parked, i’m in the elevator going to your floor now

bada walks around howl to their bedroom, he follows.

“where do you think you’re going?” howl crosses his arms.

bada grabs her emergency bag, only needing a couple items since you already had half of her wardrobe at your apartment. “i’m going out. i’m not sure when i’ll be back.”

she exits the bedroom and makes her way to the door,

“and let me just tell you this, howl. If it came between you and y/n, i will always choose y/n. without question.”

and as if on cue, the doorbell rings. bada swings the door open to reveal you in a pair of sweatpants and one of her sweatshirts draped on your body. bada tries her best to shield howl from your sight and exit as swiftly as she possibly can given the situation, but howl grabs her arm and yanks. you hear bada hiss, and as soon as you lay eyes on howl, you feel rage encompass your entire being. you step into the door and remove his hand from her arm, pulling bada from out of the door frame and behind you.

“how dare you lay your fucking hands on her? are you kidding me?” you take a step forward but bada pulls you back and intertwines her hand with your own, “let’s go y/n. please”

howl’s body is slumped, insecurity swallowing him whole. you can't help but laugh at him. he was such a fucking idiot. you turn around and scan bada for any harm, luckily, she seems fine other than being a little shaken up. you lean up to give her a kiss on her cheek and take one last look at howl. pathetic. you both turn to walk away and howl hopes bada turns around to look at him, show any waver of uncertainty. but she never looks back, she just moves forward. with you.

──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

your fingers twirl through bada’s hair. she’d changed into comfy clothes once you guys got home and now she’s sprawled out on top of you, head laying on your chest.

“you okay?” your hand pushes the hair out of her face. you feel her nod. she shifts so that her head is resting upright.

“i am now.” she grins up to you, pressing her lips against your own. she really meant it this time.

[simplydnp]

idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

[skittlespizza]

Some thoughts about Shilo (and a lot of my thoughts about the aromantic reading of him)

Okay, so Shilo has been a character that's been spinning in my head pretty constantly. This isn't going to be organized but rather kind of just. Thoughts.

I see a lot of people interpret Shilo as a purely innocent person who has done no wrong wet cat, and yeah! He is! But the thing is, he's... done wrong. He's a vampire. There's something inherently evil in all vampires, and i believe this misconception stems from people not knowing the vtm lore. In VTM, all vampires have a beast inside of them, and this beast is inherently evil and cruel and animalistic, which is the part that forces vampires to feed. Shilo hasn't frenzied, he's never lost control of this beast but the fact he has one is enough to make him "not purely innocent", I'd argue he thinks he's innocent and hasn't done wrong but keep in mind he has zero hestitation throwing guards to die. He's indirectly killed several times, and that's not really something we can ignore when thinking about shilo.

He's also incredibly manipulative. He has no worries dominating or manipulating people for his own gain, and again, this comes from his sheltered life. This comes from him simply not knowing any better, but even then, this is a major flaw that i feel some people dont think about.

Shilo isn't rapunzel, Rapunzel isn't a killer, and she isn't manipulative with a disregard for people's lives. That is to say Shilo isn't pure evil, but rather, he's a morally grey character. He's killed, and he's manipulated, but you could argue that it came from a place of not knowing any better, but even then, he's still killed and manipulated. Do you see where the interesting moral dichotomy lies? Is he at fault for the evil he does if he doesn't know any better. I just dont like the "purely good" Shilo takes I've seen some people have.

The aromantic stuff:

I think it's rather well known I'm an aroace shilo truther (if im being honest, i have a distaste for armored pheasant to an extent, but that is not what this is about). I feel as if that's a rather crucial part of his character, and it's not unsubstantiated. He quite literally says he's incapable of having romantic feelings, and in the newest episode (i am not caught up, forgive me), I've heard there's more he says that hints towards this aromantic reading. He's had zero interest in romance, and the fact he was bloodbonded to Edward without his consent can have rather interesting implications that I believe could be expanded on. A lot of aromantics know that feeling of being told "I can fix you" or whatever and Shilo parallels it quite well with the experience he has had with Edward. Below is the quote where he says he's incapable of romantic love.

(This is my own personal opinion but I believe his character is also sort of dumbed down once someone ships him with Grefgore. A lot of people did from the get go, and I get and see the appeal but I also think they're better as friends but again, personal opinion and I don't care if you ship them but his character falls into the "only interesting for the shipping to the fandom" pit quite easily.)

There's something incredibly validating to have a character like Shilo, who's kind and silly and aromantic if that makes sense. Aromantic representation has been lackluster, and most representation is god awful (coughLovelesscough) so having Shilo would be really nice. He's not canon representation, yes. Unless Bizly straight up confirms it, it's just implied representation but come on. It's right there guys. Give us an aro win.

His character has a lot of interesting bits: a character who's only experience with the world is through media & book (hashtag autism), a character who's incredibly cruel yet kind, a character blind to his own flaws, an aromantic character who loves despite. Give me more morally grey Shilo, more guilty Shilo and most of all. More Aromantic Shilo.

[prettyboyrxpist]

My little brother Zee wanted to hang with me and my friends cuz were hot and smoke weed and he's a fucking cum hungry faggot.

He genuinely thought I didn't know what he really wanted when he said that he just liked Alessi because no one else he knew liked Mad K, or when he swore he was just staring because he thought Devonte's scars were really cool, but the runt knows by now that Genjutsu of that level doesnt work on me.

Of course I'm sex positive, I'm a slut and I love to nurture more sluts, if he wanted to get his pussy stretched pounded and filled up, if he wanted to fuck my friends, choke on cocks and piss himself in carnal ecstasy, I'm in his corner all the way.

But No One Is Sinking Into My Little Brother's Pussy Before I Do.

So I let him think hes pulled one over on me. I invited him to come camp with us, were gonna roll blunts, drop acid, barbecue and set off fireworks.

All that and the chance to get split open by one of my friends? What self respecting little brother slut could refuse?

And he didn't. Its probably the most impactful decision he's ever made.

Because when we got to camp and fell under the qualia of our intoxicants and cover of starlight and got high enough to see rythmic mandalas dancing in the shadows of our fire and he started touching Alessi's thighs I had no choice but do what i did and it irrevocably changed the direction of our relationship.

I grabbed him by his waist and picked him up and away from Alessi. Alessi's face fell from a grin to an expressionless combination of shock and curiosity. He knew what was about to happen, I'd told the both of them beforehand.

But i dont think they believed I'd really do it.

I carried him over to the tent, playfully shaming his desperation.

"You don't get embarassed, throwing yourself guys you barely know?"

"Of course you dont. Youre a testosterone pumped desperate little cuntboy faggot. All you care about is getting a fat cock in you."

"You want to bounce on dick so fucking bad dont you dirty fucking hole?"

Zee whined like a puppy when he could manage any sound at all in response.

"l'll be honest i thought you'd fold for Devonte before Alessi, but you're such a cum thirsty whore I bet you'd even fuck them both at once."

"Lucky you, youre gonna get them both."

"But first, youre gonna get something soooo much better."

I placed him on his back on the floor of the tent, he didnt let go of me.

Devonte and Alessi stayed close and watched us from just outside the tent, I wish theyd come in but i get it. They probably wanted to keep some distance from the monster who got his little brother tripping balls so he could rape him into a devoted pet cum slut.

I started peeling off Zee's clothes and watched his face twist into sick combination of shame and rapt anticipation. He was blushing redder than a strawberry and he would later confess to me that in that moment he was more afraid that I wouldnt go through with it than anything else (isnt my little brother the best?)

Once his soft pink glistening little cunt was out I was acutely reminded of the fact that I was an animal. And might as well have ripped my clothes from my body. His eyes were fixed on my cock like he'd never seen one before (turns out he hadn't, not irl anyway)

He was already soaking wet, I'd thank Alessi for rizzing him up but all four of us know he was so wet because he was boiling with the uncontrollable ecstasy of knowing he was about to get fucked by his big brother's fat throbbing cock.

I hooked my arms under his knees and pulled them spread nice and wide, the scent of his cum starved little cunny will be burned into my memory for all my time. I couldnt helo myself, I lined us up and forced the tip of my cock into him. Then more of me. Then more, and more until the tip of me was nestled neatly against his cervix, like he was made for me. Probably Because he was, what else are little siblings for?

He looked to be having a rougher time.

Digging his nails into my arms, gasping and opening his sweet little doe eyes so fucking wide and desperate. Pleading with me not to stop. He looked like he was about to cry, but in a good way.

Not that i'd have stopped if it was in a bad way.

1/?

[born-in-hell]

WHY Q!BADBOYHALO IS PROBABLY FED:

SPECIAL GUEST THEORY - THE MASTERPOST

Important Information!

Hello! This post was written in january and febuary, before the workers at Quackity Studios came out with their stories. Ever since then, i haven't been following the QSMP as a server, despite still writing a fic based on it and following the situation with the workers somewhat closely. I just can't care about it as much as i did. Im posting this theory because it meant a lot to me at the time. I truly believed i was right, and that Badboyhalo would be the main antagonist. I even had the throry that the QSMP would end in a dispute between q!Fit (Madagio + The Rebellion) and q!BBH (Fed). I worked for such a long time gathering evidence for, organizing and writing this post that it just feels bad to keep it in. Today (30/4/24), another ex-admin, named Elk, released a statement, that said: "There was an odd rule where main island lore was never allowed to tie into creator-specific lore, despite creators actively wanting to involve themselves with the federation and being permitted to do so and certain creators having a HUGE influence on the overall lore.". This just erased any and all motivations i ever had to make a theory that links everything together. There was never a truly coherent story. Which makes not only this theory, but any and all theories that link the player characters to the main island lore, useless. Being honest, i just didnt want this post to go to waste, mostly because i worked a lot on it. For that, this post is very much not finished. Most texts are not fully written - my ideas are not as developed as i wish they were. And i apologize for this, i just dont have the energy to finish this. If you want to know my take on the QSMP lore, you can check out my fanfic. Despite all this, I hope you all enjoy this.

---------------------------

This is a compilation of all the evidence we have to support the Special Guest Theory.

I created this mainly to show people that don't have as much free time or are just dont have the energy to think about or remember all this why the Special Guest Theory does make sense.

This is a colaborative work, as I wouldnt be able to think about all this without these wonderful people: @lionheartedmusings @demodraws0606 @lxrd-ren @skullhalo @windchime-of-teeth

---------------------------

Where it all started: The ARG Emails

On Feb 21, Quackity Studios posted this tweet, that had an ARG puzzle.

The "special invitation" also grasps my attention, but it might be coincidental wording.

Decyphering the puzzle, it lead to a Google Doc, that had many emails.

Among them, there was this one:

[Respectful greetings, We are seeking quotes for the purchase of 1393 muffins to satisfy the extra demand of our special guest. For those who are not aware of the situation, it was pointed out that it is an obligation to share two muffins per person in the workspace to guarantee happy and productive work. We wish to receive your commercial proposals as soon as possible. We appreciate your commitment and effort in preparing your offers for evaluation. Sincerely,]

So uhm... muffins right? Who could it possiblly be referencing?

I honestly can't think of no one else besides q!Badboyhalo, even outside of the qsmp, whose brand is so intrinsically connected to this little cake things.

The number is also very specific. If every worker needs 2 muffins, why is the order an odd number? That just isn't divisible equally to everyone.

-> I will make a separate post detailing what i think the 1393 could be referencing.

I want to mention here that, by the way this email is written,

q!Badboyhalo's Teaser Post

Ok, so there are a coulple things to pay attention about this post. First the muffins are a clear reference to Bad (there's no arguing here, he is the muffins guy).

Second, where it was posted; unlike all the other cc teasers ─ that were posted on @/quackity4k, quackity's alt twitter account ─ this one was posted on the official Quackity Studios account, along with the arg post that is.

-> These are the other QSMP cc teasers:

Third, its the only teaser thats accompanied by "welcome to the QSMP". All the others either include something related to the cc (like a bird emoji for Jaiden), or teasing words (closer; up next).

Fourth, the milk emoji. Its curious, and out of place. It is so odd and specific that it deserved to be discussed.

Especially considering that, coincidentally, this is what Badboyhalo responded to the QSMP teaser that i'll talk about later:

Milk is often ─ surprisingly ─ a symbol commonly used with villains in media, to symbolize various things, but mostly to cause a discomfort in the audience, as milk is associated with purity and childhood. So pairing it with ruthless and cruel villains creates an unsetteling atmosphere.

-> Some reference links: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4

The Teaser Video

-> click here to watch the video

The video starts off in a dimly lit room, with some boxes, and, most notably, a tv, a vcr player and a chair. A shadowy figure enters the room, and inserts a cassette on the player. A promotional video of Quesadilla Island starts playing. It shows the figure watching the video, and the scene is interrupted by a black screen with "20 years later" written. It ends with two other shadowy figures (Quackity and Slime, presumably) talking in the train that took the first group to our current Quesadilla.

The only thing that we can notice on this person, is a little white marking on both their left and right hand.

Some theorized it could be qFit, but he doesn't have the marking on his right hand.

Right side /// Left side

The only character, from the first group of islanders, who has a white marking on both hands is q!Badboyhalo.

And q!Badboyhalo being part of the fed in 2003 does also make sense in his lore; he's never mentioned where he was or what he was doing around the late 1990's and early 2000's.

Unlike fit, who was 13 in 2003. He was a child ─ he was only a bit older than q!Cellbit during the war.

This is, in my opinion, one of the most substantial evidences we have of q!Badboyhalo being involved in whatever the fed is doing.

The 2013 War

When qCellbit started researching the fed, as a child, he was forcefully exiled from Quesadilla, because he found out too much about what was going on. Maybe the tests on children (q!Baghera and the other deceased hybrids), as he says this on his letter to q!Bagi:

[...] I saw everything inside, they were doing all this beneath our very feet… it’s horrible, Bagi. You don’t deserve this, I don’t want you to have to live with these guys. So meet me on the other side of this ocean Bagi. I’ll be going now, I don’t care if I have to swim until [...]

-> You can check q!Cellbit's old diaries translated into english on this post

He ended up, somehow, in a war, where he, coincidentally, first met q!BBH.

q!Bad has stated he was in the war to overlook it.

Antoine's Comic

This comic was given it was given, from Cucurucho, specifically to q!Badboyhalo.

-> check this twitter clip of antoine's talk with cucurucho to see the full conversation

The Purgatory Puzzle

Codeflippa lead qBBH, qAypierre and qMaximus throughout the maze, into a white room with a red button. Before activating the button, this was shown to them:

-> Could the asterisks mean Badboy? or maybe Mr. Halo?

They pressed the button, and then recieved this book:

Via a warpstone, they were taken to another maze, this one with a puzzle and two pictures of cucurucho.

After going through some rooms, they found a small pillar, with Dapper's hat on top of it, as you can see here:

Why? Why was dapper's hat there?

If this is a foreshadowing to the fact that Dapper would always be the eggs that would be freed from purgatory, independently from the roulette, than why Dapper?

What makes Dapper special, or different from the other kids, that earned him this, and possibly his life?

The group found themselves in a circular room, with three die. These die, coincidentally, had the same colors as q!Badboyhalo and Dapper: black, red and white.

There was a chest, and in it, they recieved this books:

Badboyhalo was shortly after teleported into the middle of the room, so he could play the game.

He thew the die and got a 7.

He then was gifted this ticket:

Again, why q!Badboyhalo? What makes him different?

It can't be him being a demon, since Mouse and Tina were already on the island.

So what makes him so special that, not only theres a full puzzle dedicated to him (as evidenced by Dapper's hat, and qBad being the chosen one for the game), but he's the first person (not counting q!Bagi nor q!Carre) to get a ticket? He's the only islander that had to go through this puzzle to get it, the other ones were just teleported into the room. Not even q!Max or q!Pierre got tickets that day.

[hexedwinchester]

How come u dont love Sam protecter and older brother Dean🥹

By Sam own words Dean raised him, a-lot of the good qualities that Sam has he got from Dean. Yeah Sam childhood wasn't the best, but he was deeply loved by Dean, i believe this love helped overcome many obstacles in his life.

In fact again by Sam own words, Deans love and protection is the only thing he could always count on.

I am not saying Dean is perfect, but who is ? To say that Sam needed protection from Dean sounds odd, where Dean is literally his home and the only place he feels safe.

hi @rosedark88

Interesting question and perspective you have offered.. this would be fun to analyse 😊

Before I start, let me be honest: I'm not Dean's biggest fan because I find a lot of his actions to be problematic. Please proceed with caution: you may not like the answer but I'll break it down as logically as I can. (Please remember, this is not a hate post)

Yes, I agree Dean has been Sam's protector (but only until early seasons. I'll explain what I mean) and he did raise him but time and again Dean has confessed if not to others, then his own subconscious that he hated having to carry that burden. He has let it slip that he is bitter about having to raise Sam (which I can understand, it wasn't fair) but I've seen him pretends otherwise which is two-faced IMO. (He confesses this in S03E10 Dream A Little Dream of Me when he is facing himself, in case you are looking for a reference.)

He is also a hypocrite with repressed emotions. He says he admires his dad but deep down he too resented him but he still gave Sam shit about him because Sam was just more blunt about his opinion of John unlike Dean. Again, in the same episode he says "my dad was an obsessed bastard. All that crap about keeping Sam safe was his crap." See what I mean?

Continuing on the hypocrisy, his whole agenda of "what's dead should stay dead" is gone for a toss when he makes that deal the first time to save Sam in S2. He gave Sam a lot of shit for trusting Ruby because she's a demon (unfortunate for Sam she had bad intentions) but Dean trusted Benny, Gadreel, Crowley and Cas when all of these guys have broken his trust later. But we don't see Sam bringing that shit up like Dean tends to.

Let's also not forget that Dean berated Sam for getting Charlie killed over the Book of the Damned but apparently no one cares that his manipulation got Kevin killed too? Do you see the double standards here?

Speaking of saving Sam, every single time he has done something apocalyptic to save Sam, it was for selfish reasons. The main reason is because Dean struggles to let go, to move on. He'd rather drag a zombie Sam around than let the man die. Even you have to agree there's some truth in that.

Dean hated that Sam left for college and it wasn't because he was afraid something might get to him. No, it was because he saw that as Sam's betrayal. That Sam picked college over him.

Now, coming to your question about why Sam needs protection from Dean his apparent 'savior'? Yes, Dean is willing to do anything to "save Sam" from every evil thing out there but that's the whole problem. Why even Billie doesn't like the Winchesters because these guys are willing to risk the destruction of the whole world to save each other which isn't right.

let's look at those grave "save Sam" moments and see what's wrong with those pictures:

Sam's first death in S2: Dean bought himself one way ticket to Hell to bring Sam back because he didn't want to keep doing this without Sam (he confesses this in his monologue to Sam's corpse and also in the Croaton episode when he finds out Sam is infected and doesn't leave). Dean is literally nobody without Sam and I'm not saying this. This is who Dean is. Sam is Dean's essence for survival. So Dean saved Sam for himself putting Sam through the same ordeal that John put Dean through. Dean passes on his trauma to Sam like a hand me down.

Sam's detox: Bobby tried to knock sense into him that it's probably the cold turkey thing that's killing Sam. I know Dean was trying to help him but I doubt he knew the right way to do so. Even when he realised his method would kill Sam, he was okay letting him suffer like that until he died (because then at least he dies human). I'm sorry that's not how you deal with someone with addiction problem. Despite everything, Sam is still willing to work with Dean but he can't get over Sam choosing Ruby and calls Sam a monster.

In season 6, the brothers realise something is off about Sam. At the end of the episode 'You Can't Handle the Truth' Sam comes clean that he felt different since he was brought back and he needs help to figure it out and how does Dean help him? By beating him unconscious, tying him to the chair like he is a monster? The way he talks to Sam in that scene: "you better hope he (Cas) can diagnose you. he asks, you answer and then you shut your cakehole". So Sam isn't allowed to talk about his own body? Oh wait I know, he's not, not when Dean said so.

In Season 8, he impersonates Amelia, sending Sam SOS just so he can he rendevous with Benny? Amelia was a shore in his Sam's storm. He loved her and deeply cared for her. To let him think something happened to her was cruel. Especially given how Sam's past relationships ended up his beloveds dying horrifically. Who plays such sick mind games? And to your own brother??!

Season 9, my favourite, the one that completely dissolved the rose tinted glasses that the show created for Dean: Manipulating Sam into saying yes to be possessed by an angel (an angel you know nothing of) knowing Sam's history of possession, that was just sick. Sam wanted to die. He was ready. If Dean wanted to save him, the least he could do was be honest about it. Not manipulate him into saying yes. But he didn't. He resorted to manipulation because he knew Sam would rather die than be possessed. Something that people fail to understand here is 'the idea of possession' is a hard limit for Sam. But Dean has no regard for it because in his head "he did what he had to and he won't even apologize for that". I'm sorry, that's the biggest red flag to me. I don't care if you have raised me, protected me and kept me safe only for you to stab me where I'm the most vulnerable. You are no different than all those evil things out to hurt me. That's why I love Sam for standing his ground and not forgiving Dean for this. He was right to say he didn't want to be brothers. If my siblings betrayed me like that, I'd leave too.

And whenn in Season 9 finale, Dean wanted to go off to kill metatron on his own, Sam wanted to tag along but what's dean's response? Punch him into unconsciousness and leave him on the street like that? All vulnerable for any monster to attack him? Really?! How is this protecting? Ya maybe metatron won't kill him but something else still might!

Oh and in Season 15, Dean pulled a gun on Sam and mind you he under no dark influence. This was all him. I'm not even going to elaborate further on this.

I can list at least 10 occasions where Dean has hit, punched, beat up Sam but Sam hasn't fought back. And that's not even what bothers me the most. It's the fact that Sam doesn't look surprised (meaning Dean beaten him before and I so believe he has and it's a frequent, almost business as usual like) or he looks scared (I'll try to find that gif where Sam is on the ground putting his hands before his face to protect himself against Dean). Dean is abusive when he is angry.

Something you said in the ask that struck me odd. What qualities did Sam learn from Dean? Let's see some of Sam's core good qualities:

Emotional intelligence

Forgiving

Compassionate

Empathetic

Selflessness

Determination

Self awareness

Open mindedness

Authencity

Dean is not known for any of the above qualities, so I disagree he learnt his good qualities from Dean. Dean has an emotional intelligence of a wooden plank. He holds grudges and isn't nearly as forgiving as Sam is. Compassion and empathy are not Dean's qualities either. Dean is selfish. His first thought is how to use someone to his advantage. He did that with Cas, Crowley, even Jack. I've seen Dean give up more often. His "I can't keep doing this", "why is it our job to save everyone", "who says I want to do this?" are all indicators of this. Self-awareness tends to dwell in his blindspot. I've said this before, Dean is black and white, Sam is grey area meaning Sam is more open minded than Dean. My favourite: nothing about Dean is original. His leather jacket? John's. His car? John's. His music? John's. His life motto? Also John's. Whereas Sam has been authentic, true to himself than Dean ever could. Did Sam learn hunting from Dean? Yes. Loyalty? Yes. But neither of these are Sam's core qualities. So I disagree that Sam's good qualities come from Dean. If anything, his good qualities are actually him trying not to be like Dean.

Sam can count on Dean's love and protection because he has been conditioned to since he was 6 months old. First by his father and then by Dean himself either through emotional abuse (he keeps reminding him about how his decisions always end up with someone dying or gaslighting him into guilt tripping on things outside his control) or downright physical beatings. The Winchesters have dysfunctional family and relationships. Again, remember Sam is the forgiving one in this relationship. In fact Sam is forgiving to a fault and that's what this is. It doesn't make Dean's actions right just because Sam has been forgiving them.

To summarise, here why I feel Sam needs protection from Dean:

Dean saves Sam only because he doesn't know how to live without him. That's not normal. He has done crazy shit to "save him" resulting in causing Sam more trauma

He quickly lashes out (often resulting in verbal or physical violence) because of his repressed emotions and poor anger management

He has verbally and physically hurt Sam either by calling him a monster or saying he doesn't trust him or by beating him unconscious on multiple occasions

he is controlling, bossy and threatening. "If didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you." Sorry, if I were Sam, I wouldn't feel very safe

Dean doesn't see the wrong in his action or worse, even when he knows he is wrong, he is too stubborn to apologise for that. Everything is shoved under "I did what I had to" or "I'm not apologizing for saving you".

Dean has manipulated Sam and gaslit him

His whole "this is a dictatorship" comes across as a red flag which takes me to my next point:

He never treated Sam as his equal. Don't see how that counts as love

Dean was mad at Sam in DSOTM because Sam's happy memories (that Sam wasn't in control of and the whole situation was probably rigged. I mean, Zachariah cosied up with Mary's image for god's sake) didn't involve Dean. The idea that Sam can have a life outside Dean has never sat well with him

He has locked Sam in the panic room on at least 3 occasions. Sam hasn't done that even once

Sorry, but Dean is not a poster boy for love and protection. When I look at a character, I not only analyse their actions but also try to understand why they acted the way they did. In Dean's case, the why has always been problematic.

Dean's intentions maybe good but his actions don't always align. His philosophy has always been "if the means justify the end" but I don't stand by it. This is what makes room for immoral, tyrant and corrupt actions and an excuse to hide you wrong doings behind those.

These are my views on why I feel Sam needed to be saved from Dean. You may or may not agree and it's fine either ways 😊

Damn! That was lengthy. But thanks for this interesting ask, it was fun! 😇

[yaspup9000]

By Popular demand, here’s some of my LPS Hot takes

Some of the later pets weren’t That bad. Like yea I do agree that the tv show based toys from like 2013-2016 weren’t that great and kinda fugly looking, but with some of the 2020 pets, why yes not as iconic as the 2000s lps that we know and love, I still believe some people were really harsh on some of these pets cuz like they did look really cute tho! My only problem with the pets was the fact they had names tbh 2. Not every g2 lps molds were perfect. Some really good examples of older lps molds being kinda ugly were the first Jack Russel and poodle molds. I’ve also mentioned about the skunk/Squrriel molds were pretty lazy since it’s just the same mold . They didn’t even try to make them different from each other. Like say what you will but at least with some of the newer pets between 2013-2020 they were at least trying to make the skunk and squirrel molds different from each other. also the opossum molds was not all that great tbh..

3. The worse thing that ever happened to lps was the Blythe loves lps toy line. No joke idk why they thought this was good. I mean if you guys loved the Blythe dolls that’s fine, to me I always found them off putting since well, they just didn’t fit personally. Like you’re the one who’s caring the pets or this is a world where it’s run by pets. There was never any mention about humans tbh. Again this is prob coming from bitter younger me lol. But in all seriousness though, never really liked Blythe dolls tbh

4. People need to Chill out about the some of the rerelease of lps. Yes I understand, I’m just as nervous and excited as the rest of you guys however I genuinely feel as if people are really making a mountain out of a hill over some prototypes and a blind bag. Like I understand that everyone’s burned out by bad decisions after bad decisions within the lps Franchise. And yes blind bags are overused and annoying however, Guys.. they’re not just gonna make only just blind bags, they’re gonna do other stuff for lps soon just be patient. Not to mention at the end of the day, they’re still just silly little pets for kids. Can you critique the toys? Of course! But just remember that it ain’t that deep. 5. They should bring back that one brown poodle mold

yes this one! its cute as hecc! and i wish they would bring this back 6. This cat isn't a "Wolf-Cat" Its a maine coon. This isn't even an opinion or anything, i just wanna let people know that its suppose to be a maine coon. also the actual "wolf-cat" is called Lykoi and idk how that breed of cat would look as an lps.

7. the main reason back in 2013 Lps was having a reboot was due to MLP having a reboot. that's just my theory tho.

8. I feel like a lot of people keep forgetting that 90s LPS exist. Like whenever people say "g1" they don't think about the kenner Lps toys, they were thinking about the 2000's lps that was popularized by hasbro. and tbh that kinda sucks.. cuz why yes the kenner toys were more into realism, i still geninually, like the kenner lps figures they were rad.

9. The sticker eyes lps were cute, I actually liked them 10. One pet peeve I had with LPS popular, is that technically, Brook should of been arrested or at least suspended since she did attack Savannah first. Not to mention, doesn't this school have like cameras or something!? i know this has been years since I've watched LPS popular but like, bruh, Why don't her parents believe her!

Umm.. I dont really have any other opinions nor thoughts at the moment. idk feel free to ask me anything lps related and I'll give my honest opinions.

[rocksibblingsau]

Honestly, I'm this close to snapping and writing a fic where Branch dies during Trollscide/the escape and Brozone having to deal with the giant grief that would have caused

Like I get it, they were kid that needed indepedence bla bla bla but are we forgetting that they (most likely, the timeline is kinda just whatever the writers/fans want) left a toddler and an elder in a TROLL-EATING TOWN AND 3/4 NEVER TRIED TO CHECK IF EITHER WERE DOING OKAY (Clay will depends of your headcanon, but I still include him for the vibes)

What they did was shitty if we are talking only real-life perspective, in the trolls world what they did was genuine heartless like Branch is extremely right to be mad bcs for all they knew he could been dead the same year that they walked-out and they shouldnt have know for like 20-something YEARS. We dont know how the three/four of them got out and if they could have taken Branch and Rosie with them or not, but like yk send a letter or some shit FIGURE IT OUT YOUR BROTHER WHO IS A TODDLER COULD BE DEAD or without a proper gardian (which is what happened by the fucking way, next-of-kin WHO)

Sorry for the rant, but like I feel that many people when writing Brozone focus too much on the 'teenagers that left home' aspect and not 'their home is the troll equivelent of a murder cult and they didnt border checking if their family, that never wronged them, was even alive or needed to be taken care of' part

Yeah the fact they left them in the troll tree is pretty messed up. I do think however there would have been no way to take them. I imagine the only reason the four of them escaped is due to the fact they ran on their own. Rosie would have been about the age she would have slowed them down, and the fact of the matter is that while all four were leaving with dreams of finding a place...

They were all leaving on what was likely a suicide mission. I imagine attempts to leave the tree had a 99% mortality rate. It's why they tunneled instead of, yknow, walking through the bars. To take a baby who Probably had a decent life spin ahead of him on a tribe that would Definitely kill him would be a tough choice to make.

Something interesting to consider is that maybe that's what their parents did. Their parents ran and left them all behind. They might think it's normal to do so in that case.

Some people take the third movie to be evidence that the Bergens were a recent development and there were only a few years of Trollstice. (BroZone left, Bergens came in, 3-5 years later grandma dies, the escape happens) Which would explain why BroZone was both able to leave and comfortable leaving Branch behind, because there was no threat of death. It would also explain why John Dory didn't react to the Bergens, he had no clue who or what the hell they were. Me personally I don't believe that, and I find them leaving under the threat of Trollstice more narratively interesting but canon doesn't tell us jack so it's within the realm of possibility.

Can I be honest about something? I'm actually not sure if Branch dying would be more traumatic to them. I think all of them were operating under the assumption Branch would one day be eaten by Bergens. JD already did think he was dead. They might have been having a 'he's in a better place and its okay' mentality.

How much worse is it to find out that no, he's very much alive, though for the longest time he wished he wasn't? Every time you told yourself he's resting, he's with loved ones, he feels no pain now; it was all a lie. He was suffering. You could have stopped it. You could have found him.

Death is tragic, but sometimes living can be so much worse.

[psshaw]

You have been one of the most unapologetically yourself artists Ive come across and I dont mean that in the cliche way I mean like... your idiosyncrasies seem particularly unstifled. Your art is purely yourself and the mainstream isnt gonna go for it but the audience you do speak to gets to feel like an alien finding someone else from their homeland. AI image gen feels like a beautiful cake with flowery frosting and when you cut into it its actually frosting all the way down and has nothing of substance. I obviously can speak only in metaphors lol so I just wanted to say I appreciate reading your thoughts on AI and tho I feel strongly abt it I have a hard time putting exacting words to what about it is so worrying to me. As an artist it energizes me when I see artists who are wildly unique and expressing themselves without a care to their skill limitations or personal strangenesses (read: mainstream unmarketability). Manga artist ONE and his charming and funky style is a great example. Anyway I love your thoughts and wanted to say thanks and also throw words at you

FUCKIGN DAMN DUDE, ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY? Why is the weather getting misty on my face specifically. Thank you. My most contentious trait is that I keep forgetting to care what people want from me.

It's really interesting following people who are very honest but more mathy than me, because the way they talk about art and AI lately has gotten... increasingly callous. Even bitter. It's partly justified, because artists tend to suck at defending themselves charismatically. ("AI art isn't real art"; the "AI can't do hands" thing was always destined to age badly) But also, I can't stand the sheer selfishness of people who claim to be rational but don't seem know how to investigate what art at its best is for and why they view it the way they do. When I read "AI is great for hobbyists" I'm like. 95% of the time, I'M A HOBBYIST... I would never generate a script, or music... javascript maybe, but I'd feel guilty about it... but the excitement? I think some guys are just looking to suckle on a feeding tube. Cos they were done a disservice by thinking they had to stop visual art after fingerpainting!

I don't think AI NEVER has substance, but the type of person who gets excited about AI doesn't tend to do interesting things with it. And what really bothers me is that I can never tell exactly WHAT they did, versus how much was a coin flip. This is useless for understanding your voice as an artist. I don't care to see more by you.

ONE is a perfect example. His style MAKES that story. The manga and the anime feel so different. That's why I hate when people say that hating AI is discriminating against people who can't draw, cos like... if you can't make something intentional and real without using what's functionally a search engine, why would I believe you're having ideas worth the cliche conceptartdotcom overrendered AI polish at all? Not to be a dick, but like. In terms of rate of return on my attention investment, so far I'd do better by sitting at a craps table.

[ddlcbrainrot]

Alright, I need to speak to SOMEONE with more of a vast understanding of characterization than me and considering well you can piece it together why I'm saying this to you specifically there's just a little bit of signs that point to you liking DDLC I dunno Anyhow but I got into ddlc about a month ago? I think I don't really remember, could've been a month and a half but from what I've seen, the wiser fandom belief is that Monika in no way feels any real romantic attraction to the player, and is just feeling like they are due to their desire and need to be real or that she's faking her attraction but, that doesn't exactly make sense to me, yknow? because in partial matters, the reason she starts doing what she does in the events of ddlc is because she wasn't given a romance route, so that points to her, in fact, craving romantic attention but being guarded off by the fact that the game literally doesn't have a route for her so even if by the end of the game she doesn't hold that sentiment, she did start it all because she wanted to be loved which by the end of the game? I still don't think it's just a masked desire to be real, sure, that can be present, but I don't think it's the singular thing that's on her mind and whilst the idea of her love being just the desire to be real, does make a lot of sense to be honest I really don't like it being the only thing, yknow? because to her at least, she does love the player, and I don't think the desire to be real would make sense for her actions after you delete her because post deletion she does outwardly reset everything so that you can be happy with the literature club and that doesn't make sense to me if she's just craving to be real, yknow? it can be a combo of wanting to be real and loving the player, but just wanting to be real alone doesn't explain why she chooses to set back the literature club and as well as the post-deletion-full-deletion I feel like people see her as being way more emotionally distant than she is I mean, place yourself as the only "real" one in a scenario, unable to achieve what could be your only lifeline to be real you'd do the same, right? but when she deletes the club it's because of Sayori getting admin permissions due to being head of the club, and Monika seeing herself doing all she did, going again deleting the club out of a mercy because, fairly, there's no happy endings in it I think that's it I write out alot, so yknow but yeah! those are all my thoughts seeya!

i feel like calling my takes "a more vast understanding of characterisation" gives them wayyy more credit than they should lol

in my experience, the fandom is kind of split between "monika did not love the player at all" and "monika did everything for the player and no other reason". which seems to be kind of a pattern when it comes to monika's character, shes either a complete monster or she did nothing wrong, she either loves the player or doesn't, she either cares deeply for the girls or she never cared at all. shes kind of always either one end of the spectrum or the other. and personally i think trying to fit her in such black and white categories really limit what you can do with her character.

my take on the whole "does monika actually love the player?" is yeah she definitely thinks she does, and maybe she does truly as well, but also it's way more complicated.

anyway, ive spent a lot of time questioning if monika's love for the player is real and the conclusion ive reached is that i don't think I'll ever be 100% sure if its not or if it is, simply because i dont think monika herself knows. she definitely truly believes its love, the main question is can we take her belief of it at face value?

Actually @beddhead-red and I had a convo about this a whileee back in the comments of this post so id suggest looking through that as well if you want a more detailed response

[whumpshaped]

feeling for joel on this fine evening. cannot imagine losing your lifetime best friend to another’s selfish desires

this. ur so right. ur so absolutely right.

masterlist

tw emotional whump, losing family, perceived death/abduction

Neither of them spoke. Both of them had too much and nothing to say at the same time; they were full of self-blame, told-you-sos, sorrow, and grief, filled to the brim with tears they felt too guilty to shed.

"I should've known when he asked for the jewellery," his mother said quietly, choked up and barely there.

"He insisted," Joey breathed. "He insisted everything was fine."

He was staring at the empty apartment, a little part of him still hoping it wasn't a kidnapping after all. Maybe Beck left of his own volition; packed up, moved in with the vampire. Maybe he could still go to the mansion and break him out during the day, maybe he could bring him home and help him recover.

He should've come home sooner. He should've taken care of Beck. He should've ignored his cries of 'it's all fine, it's all fine, I'm just tired, don't visit right now'. They were both too caught up in trying to trust and believe him, to give him his space. He should've known better.

"I'm going to the mansion tomorrow," he exclaimed, and his mother spun around and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"You're not going anywhere near that place! Are you out of your mind? I just lost Beck! I just lost my son! I'm not losing my other son too!

"But maybe he's alive! Maybe he's just– enthralled! I could get him out!"

"No, you couldn't!" Her grip tightened, and she looked more determined than Joey had ever seen her. "You couldn't. But there are people who stand a chance. I'm not giving up on Beck, and I'm not asking you to give up either. I'm asking you to at least give me a month to mourn before you run into your death. Please."

Joey chuckled a little at the absurdity of the request, then wiped some of his tears away and hugged her. She hugged back, and for a moment he felt comforted and protected, as though he was just a little kid again, waiting outside Beck's hospital room. Except this time the threat wasn't a broken wrist that would go away in six weeks. It was a vampire. A dangerous, disgusting, violent, murderous thing.

"G-good, because I was scared to go anyway," he sobbed, failing to make it sound like a silly joke instead of the honest admission it was. "But I will, if the hunters fail. I will. I need– I need to..."

"Shh..." She rubbed soothing circles into his back that only made him cry harder. He could hear her sniffling too. She wasn't invincible, not when it came to family, and the fact that she was still forced to act as an emotional rock for her adult son made Joey want to jump off a cliff. He should've been handling this way better. But how did one handle his brother being gone — possibly kidnapped, possibly dead — appropriately? "He must be okay. He must've left on his own two feet. He even brought Boba, yeah? Maybe he's not in his right mind, but he's alive. We'll get him back."

"We will," he said desperately. "We have to. I don't– I don't think I can handle not getting him back."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda

[qprsmackdown]

q!parrotduo (q!Jaiden and q!Roier from the QSMP) Propaganda:

They raised a kid together and he was the best dragon ever, they've been there for the other at their lowest and even when no one else believed them, they have been through grief and healing together, they would go through Hell for the other.

They are canonically platonic partners, Jaiden is Aroace and Roier has a husband (outside of the QPR) and had a wonderful son (egg), Bobby. Even when they were lawyers on opposing sides of a court case, afterwards they complimented each other on how they did during the case. On top of that, Jaiden threatened Roier's husband Cellbit before their marriage, telling him that if he hurt Roier she would hunt him down, and telling him to be honest to Roier. They are the greatest <3

they had a kid together and lived together and even after bobby died they’ve stayed the bestest of friends ☹️ roier even got married but jaiden is still so important to him and they both care for each other so much and roier’s husband sees her as equally part of their family too

they adopted a kid together because of an event and they didnt have to go hard as they did. after the kid died, they STILL were together. then roier married another guy BUT all jaiden did was threaten him bc all she wants is for roier to be happy.

i dont even go here but this qpr is literally canon. jaiden is an aroace queen and also these two raised a son together like come on bro

Q! and cc!Jaiden is aroace and q!roier is queer. They were selected to be a pair to raise a child who they named Bobby. Jaiden moved into roier's home, had their beds next to each other, they raised bobby together, went on adventures together. Jaiden and roier loved each other and called each other family. When people asked if they were together they both said no but they were partners. Jaiden was extremely supportive of roier's cross dressing and him working at a strip club. Roier helped her practice her fighting skills. When roier became romantically interested in another character nothing between them changed and Jaiden threatened the other character to never hurt roier. Bobby died and they mourned and Jaiden moved away but they were still very close and visit each other often and roier keeps an eye on her interactions with a federation worker called cucurucho to make sure it doesn't hurt her. They are literally the perfect example of a qpr; living together, expressing their love for each other, raising a child together but never being romantically involved and being such a unit together and everyone on the island knows it and loves them too.

its like halfway canon that theyre in a QPR, they raise a child together and sleep next to each other and are basically life partners. jaiden supports roiers other relationships, and they actually support and communicate with each other and its great

They raised a child together, Roier's in game romantic husband loves Jaiden almost as much Roier does

you don't understand your honor they're everything to me. they're basically canon. they raised a kid together, lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, and trusted each other with everything. Someone once asked if they were together romantically and their answers were 'family' and 'partners' and often times they're just called 'platonic life partners'. They trust each other first no matter what they are RIDE or DIE qpp bitrans and aroace

oh my gdodddd dude oh my goddddd oh my godddddd oh my lord oh my LORRRDDDDDD they got randomly paired together to raise a child and had hardly interacted before that and immediatley became besties and there is so much respect and patience and trust in their relationship even after the loss of their child they are eachothers confidants they always want the best for eachother they are everything to me im craszy ANIMATIONS FAMILY 4EVER

they raised a child together they live together Jaiden's aroace and supports her partner's drag stripping career she was at his wedding

they raised a child together. jaiden is aroace and roier was kinda a whore before he got married (not to jaiden though) but they are besties and they care for each other very much. when their son bobby died they were each other's rock. i barely watch the livestreams but i see the liveblogging and its just so so obvious they care for each other and are ride or die PLEASE LET THEM IN AND WIN

they were the best parents to their little egg, Bobby, and are just so silly goofy together. They hype each other up SO MUCH.

Just these two lol not much for me to say but lots of platonic love to give

roier is gay and married to a man and jaiden's aroace but they are still partners!!! they're family they're a couple but they're not dating or romantically interested in each other. everyone in-canon acknowledges their relationship as equally as important as a romantic one, even roier's husband.

They LITERALLY lived together and slept in the same bed and raised a child together and one of them is played by an aroace person! The ccs never implied or explicitly said there was anything romantic between their characters, but the characters are still incredibly close with one another, even when Roier had his own romantic arc with another character!

They raised a son together platonically, Roier is married and he and Jaiden’s relationship is treated with the same amount of gravitas and weight as Roier’s relationship with his husband. They’re mutually supportive and care about each other so deeply. They’ve been through the loss of their son together and have continued to wholeheartedly mutually support and protect each other.

BOBBY THEIR LITTLE EGG THEY

canonically a family unit but not in the nuclear way (they both parent a child, but they are not in a romantic relationship nor a couple, nor did either of them create this child). this platonic relationship is treated equally to one of the character's romantic relationships and is not seen as 'less' than the romantic one. it is expressed multiple times throughout the series how important this platonic relationship is.

They co-parented their adopted kid together for a while and were acknowledged by pretty much everyone as the best parents, and now that Roier is married, his husband treats him and jaiden with just as much respect as she does their marriage,,,, which means a lot to me personally <3

roier literally considers his relationship with jaiden (who is aroace) to be equal to that of his relationship with his husband. his husband also treats jaiden n roiers relationship as equal to his and roiers!! plus jaiden and roier raised a son together and slept next to each other and were often mistaken for being husband and wife bc of how affectionate they were but its completely platonic! also when roiers husband, cellbit, was being an asshole pre engagement, jaiden talked with roier about how she thinks he deserves better and threatened cellbit if he hurt roier. i have many feelings about them but most of them are like just stick figure gore images

qpr of all time. i dont even watch qsmp but theyre so sillies. they raised a kid (egg) together. jaiden is acearo

Roier is a very gay hypersexual man and Jaiden is AceAro!! They refer to eachother as partners and raised an (egg)child together. Theyre besties theyre ride or die they trust eachother above anyone else etc etc

Q!JAIDEN CALLED Q!ROIER HER PARTNER SEVERAL TIMES!!! SHES AROACE AND HES MARRIED AND ALSO THEY RAISED A CHILD TOGETHER AND LIVED TOGETHER (<- i am feral)

They have said they love each other and it wasn’t romantic. One of them is played by and aroace person, one of them isn’t and the character still has a relationship outside of the romantic/platonic binary while still having both romantic and platonic relationships.

They have directly referred themselves as platonic partners multiple time throughout their time together. Despite the fact that Q!Roier is married to another character, his relationship with Q!Jaiden is never dismissed and is held at the same importance as his romantic relationship.

Literally call each other partner and family. Raised a egg son for a while (rip Bobby) Jaiden helped set him up with Cellbit! (They’re married now)

[tyunkus]

how would txt react to the ‘sex was bad’ prank T-T

iydk its p much where you’re texting/on the phone w a friend and prank them by saying they dont satisfy u or wtv LOL

LMFAOOOO BYEEEEE U ON THE PHONE W UR BFF and ur like "idk the sex was kinda mid" sorry if u wanted like sexy thoughts from this but the only thing that came to mind was just funny shit

Yeonjun i feel like moas can all collectively imagine his expression HE WOULD LOOK SO OFFENDED like the eyebrow raise him stopping what he's doing to look at u all sassy and you literally cant contain ur laughter LMFAOO once ur off the phone hes like "so what was that about. huh. the sex was mid. are u fr. i literally made u cry from my cock how is that MID"

soobin would be so surprised to hear that from u his first instinct is to just smile like what 😄??? ORRR he'd do that thing where he's a little miffed but he pretends not to be so he just side eyes u and juts out his lower lip then when you ask him why hes making a face hes like "I'm not making a face what r u talking about. what do you mean the sex was mid was it really mid??? did you mean that??? i don't care but like be honest did you mean that can you be honest with me plea

beomgyus instinct after hearing u call him mid is to annoy the fuck out of u LMFAOOO the words barely leave ur mouth and hes already bickering with u like "WDYM MID YOU WERE LITERALLY SCREAMING FOR ME LAST NIGHT" LMFAOOO he climbs in next to u and starts poking you everywhere demanding that u take it back but ur being stubborn and telling him to go away HKSHFDSH youre both taking jabs at one another but also laughing ur asses off because of how ridiculous the conversation is U AND BEOMGYU R RIDICULOUS FR

taehyun would just laugh honestly like he would not believe u for a second LMFAOOO he'd laugh it off and agree or just smile at u so sweetly its a little off-putting.,, even more so because he'll go up to you and like pinch ur cheek or kiss ur forehead before walking past to do something else as if you hadnt literally just called his stroke game mid???? hes unbothered though he knows he gives it to you good my king

HYUKA 😭 hyuka would be surprised but he wouldnt say anything right away hed just let u finish ur call.,,, and then right after he'd walk up to u and cling onto you like a koala 😭 wouldnt even say directly what hes thinking but you can kind of catch on,,, gets so cuddly that you feel so guilty and tell him that it was a joke without him even asking LMFAO he pulls away n hes like "really????" n then peppers your face with kisses hes just relieved!!! only thing he wants is 2 make you feel good

[nahalism]

Hey 💌💌

I come to you with a question, in a bit of a desperate state. I have big problems with being jealous, paranoid. Especially in romantic relationships but it doesn’t always stop there. What do you think causes a person to be like this? Did you ever struggle with being like this? How can one even begin to unravel it, i wonder if it’s possible to be a human and just…not feel jealousy or is it part of the experience we can’t fully avoid?

(For some background:I have always been a jealous person but my life experience probably blew it to a larger proportion. The thing is i know most things rely on communication but the problem is ive spent a few years in a relationship that i thought had good communication, it turned out i was living in pretty much a constant lie for a few years. It made me realize pretty brutally that no matter how much you are made to feel and think one thing, if the other person is smart enough they can really hide anything from you for an extended period of time all the while giving you the illusion of being heard, seen, loved, cared for. How can i know the communication isnt falling on a rotten bed of lies over and over? How can i trust blindly, when i hear we have to come with an open heart and give each person the benefit of the doubt and full plate of trust from the get go for a relationship to work it feels like a death sentence, its just a matter of when and how. Sometimes i wonder if there is even a way out of it at all.)

hello angelll <3. sooo i actually dont think it has to do with communication in this instance. you can only communicate with clarity when you have clarity on a situation. someone triggered is communicating, but often communicates irrationally or in a way that inflames the issue. lets say a person is avoidant and their partner is co-dependant. the more the co-dependant person communicates, the more they push the avoidant person into silence and exacerbate the issue. im not saying its right, but that intentional communication requires skill, being emotionally regulated, and is deeper than being honest and speaking with good intentions. to communicate well, you have to know who your speaking to, and how to deliver what you wish to communicate. of course this is important, but i think its secondary in comparison to the main issue –> i really do believe whenever anything external has power over a person and their emotions it is rooted in the individuals feelings of self esteem and self worth. ultimately we tend to be attracted toward the familiar or what is comfortable. its why people who are perpetually in toxic relationships find 'good' guys or women to be unattractive or describe 'not having a spark' with them. its also why also why people tend to gravitate toward or find that spark with people who trigger or enhance their pre existing disposition toward things they don't no longer want to experience. for example, someone who doesn't want to be cheated on isn't looking for a cheat, but something in them is drawn toward the type of character who will do this and reinforce their habits or beliefs about relationship. so the answer to how to end that cycle is two fold.

1) you have a habit of acting out jealousy and paranoia in relationships. look at your relationship with your primary care givers and your first experience that blew those feelings of jealousy and paranoia out of proportion, then study them. understand the root of those emotions (usually insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, and comparison of yourself to others, particularly people who are important or close to the person whose affection you want).

2) once you understand the root of the emotion, look at what you can do to solve it. how can you meet your own needs? how can you build a sense of self that leads you to feel comfortable and confident in what you have to offer and bring to the table? once you find the answer to this, begin to practice it. meet that need on your own. by doing this you evolve, and begin to expect more and better from both yourself and others. this changes who and what you find attractive, thus reducing the chance that your next partner is someone with the traits of a person who will trigger your jealousy and paranoia. – if you do the work properly, and develop (or work toward developing) a secure attachment style, it will help ensure that the person you are next drawn and attracted to also practices a secure attachment style. them being securely attached is invaluable, because it's inevitable that you will still experience moments of insecurity, jealousy, comparison, and distrust. someone with a secure attachment style will allow you to have those moments without inflating the issue, or giving you reason to be disproportionately triggered. however, they won't accept maltreatment which is good because their healthy boundaries will also hold you accountable. the more you engage in healthy relationships the more you rewire your pre-existing blueprint and feel safe enough to release those harmful traits.

its really important to get the root issue handled before trying to solve things with communication or whatever other solution. because those are the things that will ensure you find yourself in situations with trustworthy people that allow you to feel safe enough to be yourself. there is always the possibility that our own vices can begin to break people down and devolve into a form of self fulfilling prophecy. for example, someone suspects their partner of infidelity. the partner is faithful, however after years of defending themselves from their person 1's suspicions may begin to resent their partners accusations, and find themselves looking else where or experiencing attraction to other people. even though they never act on these feelings (never cheat), the lack of trust and persistent insecurity is what creates the room for the partner to grow distant. when the partner now tells them 'hey i dont want to do this any more' and two weeks later is in a new relationship, the person with those insecurities now projects this onto them and says 'see, i always knew you would cheat/move on/i wasn't enough', when that was never the case, just a consequence of the way they treated the person who has now moved on.

there will always be someone more beautiful, more attractive, more *insert desirable quality*. you have to love you, see you, and know why you are worth sticking around for. if you dont have this inner stability, you will always find external chaos, and be looking around you for who else can take your spot. the truth is any and everyone can take your spot, but no one can fill it the way you do. so focus on filling it, and loving yours. whoever is for you is for you. you won't have to fight for them, and it may not always be easy, but will it will always feel safe and feel peaceful. – sending you much love, courage, and discernment to work through this <3