#bc things were so much easier for you when you consumed their content without having to think about it

[snekdood]

why does it feel like...

ppl: believe victims!!

me: im a victim

ppl: actually u should be able to forgive and understand ur abuser and stop blaming them for being shitty bc they had a sad upbringing, actually, did u know,

as well as

ppl: yeah, fuck snake

someone else: yknow hes accused of being abusive too

ppl: omg yeah its probably 100% true and im not gonna question it further bc I hate him so much and i'm gonna act like its fine he was abused and my hatred and possible attempts to sabotage him is always justified in spite of doing abuser apologia earlier against him

[melodic-haze]

☆ — SONG TITLE: I know what you tell your friends (it's casual)

☆ — PAIRING: mermaid!Kokomi x artist!Reader

☆ — TYPE: SFW, bittersweet angst? I honest to god don't know

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: POTENTIALLY OOC for the purpose of the character......mostly, light depictions of blood, drowning

☆ — NOTES: HI ALL I DIED BUT WHO'S SHOCKED LMAO 😜😜 this is for @edgeray's Halloween event, though it's a bit late bc I was ill at the last week of it and I'm lazy😭 GO CHECK OUT EVERYONE ELSE'S STUFF HOLY HELL. Also, my interp of a mermaid is moreso leaning towards what people nowadays THINK sirens are. I js couldn't bear to USE 'siren' bc of how they're acc supposed to be like. Winged creatures, not fish people

☆ — WORD COUNT: 2,801 words

It was often said that one must not go into the beach all alone.

Naturally, people would often tell you of sensible reasons such as possibly having your fragile items like your phone being dropped into the sand or, god forbid, the water or losing said belongings if you were to ever leave them somehow.

However, the most notably repetitive reasoning came out to be the possibility of being missing.. or ‘taken by the sea’, as everyone else would say.

It was a lot easier to just say that someone was lost or missing, but there was a certain reason why most have opted to disregard practicality for the sake of glamorisation—where you live, there has been a concerning surplus of missing persons cases with their last-seen location all being the beach, the seaside, the shore, all the same thing. And no matter how much the police had tried to investigate it (and it’s crazy that they actually did try, though that might be due to government concern), they found nothing conclusive about how the victims disappeared.

Perhaps it was because of the tides washing any sort of evidence away, though such an assumption led to the cases all collectively being dismissed as a suicide because.. well, really, they had to put some sort of conclusion to the case when they couldn’t really find any other possible outcomes without it sounding like more of a conspiracy than it already was.

(Fat lot that did anyway, because you can’t even put nightwatch on post there without them getting taken too.)

..So to a normal person, being at the beach all alone with nothing but a phone and a sketchbook in hand in the middle of the night would equate to one of the dumbest things you can do out here.

It wasn’t like you didn’t care about what would happen to you, or that you were experiencing that particular phase where you went against what was advised of you just because you wanted to be cool or popular or something (you weren’t a child, you were a grown adult with a life, for god’s sake), but oftentimes people like you all had one common flaw: artists were all dedicated to their craft, suffocatingly so.

And you were no exception, even if it had been too long since you drew with any sort of creative inspiration.

You remember when you walked back from god knows where and witnessing the way the moonlight hit the water, its gentle glow reflecting on the tide like fluid glass.

You remember that sweet dulcet tone stopping you in your tracks in the midst of your misery once your headphones lost power, the singing voice holding a certain alluring cadence that rooted you to the spot.

You remember the sight of dark crimson on shimmering claws and scales of blue, pink and purple, the palette much too distinct to be considered ‘natural’.

You remember the brief contact of eyes between your own and a set of glowing orbs that were no less striking than the tail that flapped behind the entity once it turned to have its body be entirely consumed by the ocean’s depths.

As an artist, you knew you had to immortalise the vision seared into your brain. And so, the day after that fateful encounter and consecutive days after that, you visited the beach at the exact time you remembered from before, picked up a pencil and opened your sketchbook to sketch like a madman possessed.

But of course as time passed, so did the freshness of your memory and your recollection of the details that had you entranced in the moment. The background itself? You had no problem. The issue was the oceanic figure; what details were you missing? What was its scale pattern? Was the red meant to mesh with the purple? What was it doing there?

Eventually you convinced yourself that maybe you were seeing things, and the messy scribbles of faint recollections were erased and drawn over with lines that connected the ever-flowing sea. Even when artists were seen as delusional, prone to confuse one thing with another—perhaps that thing was just a trick of the light, or maybe you’re starting to go insane, whichever tickled your fancy—you knew where to stop and come back to reality.

..Still doesn’t mean you had to keep coming back to the spot at the same time over and over again but alas, you couldn’t help it when you woke up at the dead of night just for your legs to lead you to the exact same spot you remember being at that very night.

Despite the constant warnings against the act of going to the beach all by yourself, nothing had happened to you or interrupted your creative flow despite being completely alone so the nights you spent on that exact spot were often peaceful, if a bit devoid of life. That was fine for you though, it meant less distractions from finally finishing this piece and moving on with your--

(You feel warm breath against your skin before you hear--)

“What are you doing?”

You startle, the pencil losing its gentle stability and creating an atrocious line across the page, and for a moment the irritation actually takes over any form of self-preservation you have.

So you start to complain, “I was drawing until you scared me—” then you turn to look at her, "—and made me ruin my own--"

...

Shimmering blue.

"..work."

Your speech fell flat the minute your gaze clocked onto those glaringly familiar set of eyes that pulled you in as if it were the ocean's depths itself. Its highlights were some sort of pearly pink, a soft contrast to the deep dark unknown.

And no pupils.

Maybe a trick of the light again, maybe you're hallucinating. Though you guessed even some of the best painters were kinda crazy back then.

"I apologise for disturbing you but, ah.. I don't suppose you can stop staring now?" And the mystery woman giggles lightly, her hand—a normal human hand, although her nails were manicured sharp and painted a glittering blue—moving to hover over her mouth as if to cover it politely, "I don't think I have anything of interest on my person to give you for.. emotional compensation?"

You blink, and you are drawn back to reality, "Physical, actually. You ruined my work."

"Even worse."

"You don't seem all that apologetic."

"But I am... Can't you tell?"

"It's dark, and our only light source right now are some busted tungsen street lamps." You sighed, putting your sketchbook and pencil down beside you, "Whatever, did you need something? No one's supposed to be out at the beach this late."

"Why not?"

"..Are you a tourist? Actually, no, if you were a tourist, you'd have to be real ignorant to not know... Though I've never actually seen you before."

You weren't sure if you lied just now or not. In fact, you're pretty sure you told the truth, but...

You see her stare at you, and you're unsure of what to do with the quiet.. until she shrugs, "I've been curious of what you were doing all alone at night. No one else seems to come outside."

"Don't you think that's any sort of indication to maybe mind your own business?"

"Forgive my curiosity."

You almost do, and you know not of why.

(Her gentle voice, a soothing lullaby, putting your safety to sleep.)

Instead, you relent, "People have gone missing after giving this place a visit all alone in the dead of night. Nobody really wants to die, so mornings and afternoons are when the people crowd here."

And you tear your gaze away from the stranger to look at the ever-expanding sea, "Come midnight, you won't see a single soul standing on the sand."

"But you're here," she says. "Why?"

"If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy."

"I don't think I will."

"I doubt that—I don't even know your name."

"Kokomi."

You look back at her, brows raised slightly, "What?"

"My name is Kokomi. Yours?"

...

You tell her your name and state your purpose for coming here every single night. And from then on, the two of you talk until the sun comes up, sketchbook forgotten.

She asks you if you're going to come back now that your drawing's been ruined. You tell her that you don't know, considering your current lack of purpose, but then she says that she'll sit with you as you recreate your ruined art as if that's going to make up for the ruined days—weeks, even—of meticulously-sketched pencil art.

..For some reason, you were compelled to agree.

(Maybe it was the voice, maybe it was the eyes.)

(Maybe it was the feeling of unsettling familiarity that drew you in, or that strange feeling of fight-or-flight.)

And so you continue to go down to the beach at night despite everyone's constant warnings, putting pencil to a new page in your sketchbook after having taken out and thrown away your previous attempt. Though even then, while there are still all sorts of warnings, people have noticed that there have been less and less people going missing from the shore. Can't help but think 'no wonder', considering how you haven't been killed or kidnapped after continuously coming here for so long.

Either way, nothing much has changed in your schedule.. save for a brand new companion appearing at night, her pink hair flowing behind you before going to sit beside you and observe.

Sometimes the two of you sit in comfortable silence, other times one of you talks of whatever comes to mind and it turns into some sort of winding discussion that ends with your sketchbook completely forgotten until you need to leave.

"..If you have something to say, you may as well spit it out."

"Hm?"

"I can feel your eyes burning holes into my skull. You may as well."

"Ah, I hadn't realised that I was staring so hard!" You feel her body draw back from originally leaning onto you and you suppress the urge to pull her back next to you as she continues, "I'm just wondering... Was no one particularly interested in coming outside with you?"

You put your pencil down on the page and look at her with a raised brow, "Are you calling me lonely?"

"No? ..Well, perhaps a little, I admit. I don't ever see you outside with anyone else."

"Oh, so you've been watching me. A bit creepy, no?"

She shook her head, "The observation merely struck me just now. I haven't seen you with anyone else at night, apart from me."

Instead of giving the curious girl an answer, you look down on the pencilled page. There wasn't much that you could really say beyond the fact that everyone else was asleep at this time.. and...

"I like being alone at the end of the day."

"Mmm. Me too."

"..That so."

No one points out the fact that neither of you are alone right now.

Nothing else is said, and you continue on sketching.

Oftentimes, that's what usually happens.

And it's.. nice, being able to just sit there with soothing company—she isn't overwhelming, nor is she insufferably awkward or borderline unbearable. She was like a smooth current, her voice akin to the sound of gentle water and her touch against your skin as she leaned into you cool and refreshing.

Not like you'd admit it.

(You wouldn't because saying that to a stranger's face is, quite frankly, really lame.. though you couldn't help but touch upon the water's detailing a lot more delicately in your sketches.)

(Or think about drawing her as your muse under the moonlight instead.)

One certain topic she was particularly interested in was the iridescent visage you witnessed all those nights ago—anyone would be, of course, in an 'entertaining-the-schizo' sort of way, not.. not her way. Not with genuine curiosity laced with something much more hidden, inquisitive.

"What would you do if that thing came back?"

"Like, to do what?"

"Who knows." Kokomi wore a soft, jesting smile, "Eat you, perhaps?"

"Would you be there with me?"

"Let's start with a 'no'."

"Probably sit there."

"Really?"

As you muse on the question, you take the cap off your water bottle, "May as well die finishing this rather than live with it gnawing on my mind."

"You have no self-preservation, do you?"

"Would it be edgy if I said it was overrated?"

"Perhaps," she shrugged, letting her hair shift and cascade from her shoulders and her arms down to her back. "What would you do if I was there, then?"

You took a sip, "..Say thank you, maybe."

"Oh? Why?"

"For keeping me company? I guess? Dunno, I just feel like I should thank you if I died on this beach with you."

You turn to look at her, and before you could say anything more, you notice the look on her face; it's indecipherable, blank, as if she were sizing you up and profiling you within her mind palace.. but what for?

Her eyes are unsettling—a touch of hunger glimmers in the ocean depths—as they stare at you (and has she ever even blinked once?) but then the moment you blink, her light expression is back as if it was never taken off.

"Let's hope that neither of us die, haha."

"Right..."

You also can't help but notice the way that you are reminded of said visage whenever you look at her, especially when she's by the water.

"Join me?"

"Why should I?"

"Perhaps you need a change of pace," she says as she takes off her lavender jacket and leaves her slippers off the sand. "I get the feeling, but you've been concentrating on your work for a while now."

"I don't swim."

"Don't? Or can't? I can teach you."

"Why?"

"Perhaps being in the water may help you gain a bit more perspective with your art."

"But I only need one perspective. Plus the water would be cold."

Kokomi stares at you with a slightly tilted head, and you can't help but notice her unusual eyes softly glowing but you do nothing but dismiss it, and then ends up shrugging, "Alright. I won't force you, of course. Just..."

She turns her head, "You never know, maybe getting into the water will turn out to be your final step."

..And as she walks off into the ocean, you don't even notice yourself taking off your shoes and chasing her after a beat until--

"Wait!"

She turns around, an eyebrow raised and a gentle half smile on her lips, "Yes?"

You stop just short of her, "Fine, I'll.. I'll go. With you. But you're not letting me go. I know how to swim but it's dark. So."

"Of course not," she reassures you, "I sought you out, after all."

"Huh?"

You don't get a chance to react, not when she takes your hand in hers and leads you to the water.

You don't get a chance to react, not when the both of you submerge yourselves and you are thrown back to that very night at the sight of clustered scales on pale skin.

..Or maybe you can't react at all, not when water starts clogging up your lungs and your consciousness sung to sleep.

...

You woke up coughing your lungs out, sore and very much still full of saltwater.

You woke up alone on the shore, probably for the first time since Kokomi had decided to come up and startle you enough to ruin your focus.

And you got up and ran.

You don't tell anyone, because the only person who would have ever believed you turned out to be someone you wish you hallucinated.

(Never felt so lonely like this in so long, like you don't have a purpose--)

You don't visit the beach for a while. And when you do, you wish you hadn't.

Not when you see a crumpled piece of paper—your scrapped mistake—on the spot the both of you had always occupied at night.

Not when you see the scribbled-out 'thank you' on the back of the page.

Not when you spot that same visage at night all over again, yet with the tainted memory of your near-death and of the brief company that you kept.

And certainly not when she looked at you with those shimmering blue eyes, her claws clear of any sort of metallic red, before she looked away and disappeared into the ocean depths.

(Though you end up finishing what could have been your magnum opus forged from looking at death in the eye all those many nights, you voluntarily put a line across the page and close your sketchbook.)

(You don't end up opening it anymore, not when you feel disjointed.)

(Incomplete.)

[dawnfelagund]

Independent Archive Survey

What concerns about independent archives do you have?

small archives can close without warning: 72% multiple small archives make it harder to find fanworks to read/view: 71% crossposting to multiple archives is time-consuming: 54% activity on small archives may be too low or drop off over time: 49% small sites can become cliquish or otherwise exclude some fans: 48% I'm unsure if software is being maintained and regular backups made: 44% small sites may not have the features I want or have come to depend on: 43% smaller sites may be difficult or unfamiliar to use: 39% I may have a smaller audience for my fanworks, fewer comments, etc.: 35% I may not be able to archive all of my fanworks in one place: 32% small archives put too much power/control in the hands of one or a few people: 22% my fandom friends may not be interested in the same archives I am: 21% I don't have any concerns about small archives: 1% I don't know: 2% Responses in the "other" field:

many of the concerns about the otw apply to smaller archives as well

site design - i haven't seen a single-fandom archive whose design i like as much or find as easy to use (as a reader and author) as ao3. given the choice between reading the same fic on swg and ao3, i'll chose ao3 because it's easier on my eyes

subcat of "too much power" -- smaller archives may go down if the maintainer can no longer fulfill their duties

Fics being used in AI without author consent, changing/unclear guidelines, fanworks being removed without warning (ie. FFN, LJ, at the will of moderators bc they don’t like xyz)

Responses: 82

Analysis

What leaped out at me in these results was the most-chosen concern: that small archives may close without warning. I have come to think of the unannounced archive transfers/closures of archives in the Tolkien fanworks fandom as its "collective trauma" and felt myself rather dramatic for using those particular terms, but this suggests I'm not that far off-base. The whole concept of independent community archives, in my mind, is predicated upon an assumption of caring that exceeds what a large organization (like the OTW) or for-profit site (like FFN or Wattpad) can reasonably be expected to muster. The closure of a small site, without warning and the chance for people to save fanworks, undermines that basic assumption. Future archive owners, take note: What can you do to alleviate this worry that your archive will rip the rug out from under its users? This is definitely an issue I believe we need to address collectively moving forward. What do best practices in this area look like?

Difficulty finding fanworks to read/view is hot on the heels of archive closures, however, as far as concerns. With these data in hand, I'd love to know more about the specifics of this concern. Is this around search features (which were mentioned in another free-response field elsewhere in the survey) not working as well as they should? Is it about having to visit multiple sites, especially when those sites may not have new content every day? What can a small site offer that makes it easier for users to access new fanworks without having to visit daily? (Social media? Newsletters? What else?)

The middle of the pack in the data are mostly concerns around convenience and traffic, the latter of which translates into not just comments but feeling like a site is part of a living community. It's hard to argue with convenience; smaller sites are less convenient than a large site that includes everything or almost everything. Furthermore, the ubiquity of large sites—specifically AO3—makes "different" feel like "inconvenient" when it's actually not. The fact that a small archive doesn't behave exactly like AO3 is not an inconvenience anymore than it is an inconvenience when the produce section is the right in Grocery A and the left in Grocery B, but people will treat it as such because they have become so ingrained to doing and seeing and experiencing things only one way. (This is probably true of the internet and websites more broadly.) As site owners, we have to remain cognizant of how we can offer what AO3 et al cannot—which I would argue is community and consideration for individual users and fandom cultures—and how we can support new creators and visitors as they use something not-AO3.

Finally, the two lowest concerns surprised me. I thought that, in light of what has happened with the OTW this year, "too much power/control in the hands of one or a few people" would rank much higher. Perhaps it is knowing that those in leadership roles are people you know, versus people who feel at best unreachable and at worst are entirely anonymous, that makes the difference, the fandom version of the small-town ideal of being able to trust someone on the basis of a handshake (and the fact that you will have to look each other in the eye during routine community encounters). Perhaps it is an assumption of transparency that comes with that knowing. I'm sure I was not the only person surprised by the breadth and depth of dysfunction at the OTW, but I always had a sense back in the day about which small-site archivists were struggling to keep up with their sites, or which communities were dramamongers, or which moderators played favorites or otherwise acted in ways that were unfair.

The last concern, about using archives that one's friends do not, is an interesting shift because I recall this as a primary reason for some fandoms, including Tolkien, not adopting new platforms in the past (e.g., Dreamwidth and Tumblr), because one's friends weren't there. I wonder the extent to which this lack of concern reflects the lack of community on large sites. Convenience and universality have superseded community and connection as considerations—but that's part of the point, isn't it?

What is the independent archive survey?

The independent archive survey ran from 23 June through 7 July 2023. Eighty-two respondents took the survey during that time. The survey asked about interest in independent archives and included a section for participants interested in building or volunteering for an independent archive. The survey was open to all creators and readers/viewers of fanworks.

What is an independent archive?

The survey defined an independent archive as "a website where creators can share their fanworks. What makes it 'independent' is that it is run by fans but unaffiliated with any for-profit or nonprofit corporations or organizations. Historically, independent archives have grown out of fan communities that create fanworks."

Follow the tag #independent archives for more survey results and ongoing work to restore independent archives to fandoms that want them.

Independent Archives Survey Masterpost

[roseworth]

I wasn’t calling you out in particular! Sorry if it came across like that haha. I’m guilty about being a hater too sometimes but it does come from a place of love like you said. Recently I got into Star Wars again and while the Star Wars fandom has A LOT of problems that I’m very vocal about, I really felt a disconnect between fandom there and fandom here. I’ve never once felt like someone who wrote a Star Wars fanfic never watched the movies or the tv shows and 99% of the time they are extremely knowledgeable about the franchise, yet half the time with DC I wonder if the person who wrote a fanfic even knows who Duke is lmao.

oh dw i didnt think you were calling me out i just wanted to use myself as an example bc im a bitch when it comes to things i enjoy and i know it hfdjkshfsfh

i think that a big difference with the star wars fandom and the dc fandom is that with star wars even though theres A Lot of different things, its a little more contained than comics, bc comics have so many different story lines and runs and it can get intimidating to new people, whereas with star wars its pretty easy to just sit down and watch the movies without 300 different conflicting timelines

its not as bad once you get started with comics bc once you know what character you want to read there are reading lists for all of them out there, but for the people just getting started or the people that have never read a comic it seems very intimidating to know that theres like 80+ years of history with all these characters and no good way to start

and i know that star wars has a lot of extended universe stuff (my roommate is a star wars nerd so i know a little bit about the other stuff despite only seeing the movies) but its still much easier to start with the movies and move on from there with star wars, but with dc the movies arent even in the same universe as the comics so its not like you can even start with a movie and understand whats going on in comics :( i actually just mentioned this to my roommate and he said "star wars is so much easier because every character has a clear start and end point, theyre born and eventually they die" whereas comics are just a neverending narrative

but i totally get what youre saying bc before dc ive never been in a fandom of people that just. didnt consume the source material. so its weird to think about fan content there where everything was related to canon, then compare it to dc where a lot of the people making fan content dont care at all about canon :/ especially when theyre excluding or mischaracterizing all the characters :/// things are bad, i never venture outside my immediate circle or lest i be exposed to the worst takes known to man

[blackradandmad]

why blippi is rotting yr children's brains

preface: i literally expect no one to read this. it is an essay length, strong opinion piece critiquing a niche youtube-based children's show that i don't expect most of y'all to even have knowledge of lol. but like, i promise that even if you know nothing about what i'm talking about, in my incredibly, super humble opinion, it's a good piece of writing and interesting nonetheless. anyway if you read this whole thing for some reason yr really hot and we should kiss.

i thoroughly vet everything my child watches before he watches it, episode by episode. and we rarely watch youtube for entertainment; we usually just look up educational videos when he has a question about something and wants more detail than i can provide him. and that's mainly because children's content on youtube is so fucking troubling and distressing. i don't judge parents who give their children a tablet at a restaurant at all bc i've been there and sometimes it's easier on everyone to just put on a video and avoid a giant scene, but i do judge parents who just leave their children alone with youtube kids on autoplay.

take stevin john, a literal millionaire who got famous from dressing up as a silly character called blippi and going on tours of places like aquariums, zoos, construction sites, etc and posting it on youtube. this has branched into a whole empire of blippi videos, hulu shows and specials, live shows and tours (that he outsources to another character actor), merchandise and so on. this 30-something year old man cites his main influence as being mr. rogers, but i question if he's ever even seen an episode of that program.

mr. rogers had no background in early childhood development or media production, but he revolutionized the world of children's media, because he respected his audience and didn't shy away from real world situations, all while creating a show with an enormous heart. mr. rogers begins his episodes by inviting the viewer in, literally changing his attire to be more comfortable, and talking about/doing things he genuinely cares about. whereas mr. rogers calmly and maturely addresses the viewer, blippi puts on a high pitched, contrived voice, interjecting every other sentence with a forced exclamation such as, "teehee! we're having so much fun!"

i don't find it a coincidence that john (blippi) is a veteran, either. his videos are completely devoid of the absurd, abstract, childlike thinking that makes children's media fun, creative, and entertaining. his thinking and process is methodical, devoid of emotion, and very superficial. this line of thinking clearly shows the kind of creative sterilization and emphasis on sameness and conformity instilled in the military. blippi simply observes things and interacts with them in a stale, matter-of-fact way. "this ball is purple! this ball is pink! anyway... what's over there? teehee! a car! vroom, vroom!" objects are colors, toy cars don't do anything but drive, curiosity is simply not encouraged.

he uses the "it's educational!" excuse to hide the fact that his show lacks everything that makes media a valuable resource for children to consume in the first place. further than identifying colors, numbers, and the occasional letter or shape, there is just this total lack of children's need for social and emotional development. when mr. rogers breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and let them know they're special, it feels authentic and natural, because we've spent the last half hour building whole worlds with diverse characters and unique stories in a pretend neighborhood, learning about and enjoying different musical instruments, being exposed to and making friends with (even if parasocially, it is still a real bond to children when done properly) children who are similar to us in character regardless of physical or environmental differences, feeding the fish, making art together, and so on. when blippi tells the viewer, "you are very special, and i enjoy spending time with you!" it falls completely flat and feels unearned, because the last half hour was spent running around a soft play center pointing at bright, colorful objects, visiting interesting locations like farms or fruit production factories while failing to acknowledge the humanity of the humans actually working there (everything is machine or product focused; the human workers are simply an extension of the machine), learning "fun facts" about elephants that just list attributes of elephants, not taking the opportunity to inform the viewers of elephants' intelligence, or diet, or matriarchal society. it is a loud, sensory overwhelming display of a man so disconnected from the social and emotional needs and desires of children that he assumes they're stupid, easily entertained idiots who only need some silly dances and fast-moving cartoon graphics to give their attention (meaning time and desire to purchase products meaning $$$). john clearly views his audience as a means to gaming the algorithm and ultimately a paycheck by the hollow way he addresses them.

the show is so narcissistic, so focused on all the fun blippi is supposedly having, but he lacks any of the character traits that make individual children's show hosts memorable, so much so that he was able to have someone else who doesn't even vaguely resemble him dress as blippi and impersonate him and host the show or appear at live shows, and it went unnoticed by most of his toddler and child audience. the show is so formulaic and the character of blippi is so unmemorable that instead of taking the blue's clues route of developing a story of the host leaving for college and his brother now stepping in, or making some sort of believable excuse for the change in actors, they can simply swap him out with some random guy and not acknowledge it at all. although a comedy show for older children, the amanda show in no way could or would try to replicate the show with the same name but swapping out amanda bynes with a random teenage girl who is clearly not amanda bynes. it's weird and nonsensical and shows that his character is so much of a farce put on for a paycheck that not even his dedicated audience is affected or even cares when he is replaced by a random, unknown person.

this is completely garbage content made by an opportunist with no experience with children who saw his nephew watching children's youtube content, took it at complete surface level and still hasn't realized that while children's content only looks and feels so easy, entertaining, and enriching because it is so hard to do well. even with outsourcing his music, that aspect of the show still sucks. famous and successful children's musician, raffi, is known for his song describing the life of a little white whale, called "baby beluga." it opens with a calm strumming of his guitar, followed by the lyrics, "baby beluga in the deep blue sea/swim so wild and you swim so free/heaven above/sea below/and a little white whale on the go." is it silly and kind of pointless? yes, but the point is that he is captivating children and showing them the fun of listening to music, dancing, singing, and appreciating art. the "excavator song" featured in an episode of blippi about construction vehicles opens with what sounds like a default garageband loop and the flatly sung lyrics, "i'm an excavator/i'm an excavator/hey dirt, see you later/i'm an excavator." i don't feel i have to meticulously analyze the aforementioned lyrics; the stark contrast should speak for itself.

i have a million more criticisms about both blippi specifically and youtube children's content as a whole, but this is already so long and i doubt many people will get this far anyway. it's an issue i was completely apathetic towards until i had my own child and had to wean him off these kinds of junk food shows because i realized the fast-paced visuals and bright colors and repetitive songs/lyrics were putting him in this spaced-out, fugue state, and he thought he could demand this show or that show whenever he wanted. the moment he started regularly yelling things like, "watch! cars!" or "no! click it!" i knew i had to be a lot more invested in the things he watched even if just for entertainment or as a soothing message. i showed him an episode of mr. rogers yesterday and feared it would be too slow to hold his attention, but he was mesmerized, greeting and interacting with mr. rogers verbally, asking me, "what's that?" to different objects on the screen. since purging this low-brow children's entertainment, he has had a noticeable increase in attention span and concentration, can focus on a task for longer amounts of times, is more likely to "read"/look through books without me initiating it, and doesn't throw a fit when the tv/my laptop is off.

i just know that for me, growing up with so much unsupervised internet access definitely led me to real-world pain and consequences, and it seems like now children are born with an iphone as an extension of their arm. if my child is going to be consuming videos, i'm definitely supervising every second and am going to be highly critical of the videos and the credentials (or lack thereof) of the creators and team behind it. but i also know, from pure observation admittedly, that parents letting youtube kids autoplay parent their children for hours at a time is not an uncommon occurrence. and it worries me that a generation of children are being raised on videos that rely on being as loud and bright and superficially enjoyable as possible. what's the use of a child knowing their colors and alphabet if they don't know how to treat people with kindness and empathy and respect? there is something wrong for a children's show host to plug the spelling of his name at the end of his videos ("well, that's the end of this video. but if you wanna watch more of my videos, just type in my name! can you spell my name with me? b-l-i-p-p-i!") after essentially rotting his audiences' brains for a half hour. there's something so insidious about the prioritization of naming different parts of construction vehicles over honest depictions of and conversations about dealing with feelings, or why someone with autism may act differently than you, or what to do when you feel lonely, or ways to make art and express yrself creatively. also, not to mention the blatant police propaganda and outright worship is seriously jarring; as a black mother to a visibly non-white child, i cannot sit there and watch blippi show kids how to be a bootlicker for the shittiest profession on earth, but that could be a whole essay in and of itself.

anyway, thanks for reading, if yr looking for quality children's content, i recommend, in no specific order: mr. rogers, sesame street, the electric company, molly of denali, daniel tiger, bluey!, blue's clues, the odd squad, word party, trash truck, puffin rock, uhh... that's definitely not an extensive list but that's just off the dome!!! ok bye y'all <333

[illumiru]

Ooh can u talk about ur theory where batcest fucked up fanon?

okay sorry for taking so long anon- i was very sleepy when i got this. take all of this with a grain of salt bc i joined the fandom late and i made a huge guess on what might have happened based on patterns from previous fandoms and my knowledge of fandom history. and hearsay from older fans.

BUT okay, my THEORY is that people who made b*tcest content then at the initial rise of the modern dc fandom probably watched young justice first and then go on to read a few comics here and there to discover their favorite robin. young justice was around the time new 52 became a thing so for a lot of fans at that time, that's usually their introduction to the rest of the batfam.

fandom does and fandom is wont to do though and since the batboys p much look like each other, they skewed their characterizations into easily digestible shallow tropes to make it easier to distinguish one robin from the other.

dick got saddled with the sunshine cuddle-monster (highly suspect this was influenced by young justice and n52), jason is the bad boy with the heart of gold, the draco in leather pants (possibly rhato influenced), tim is the sad uwu twink coffee super genius (red robin influenced) and damian's personality is either hellspawn or diagnosed 13 years old. (depends if they like damian or not).

the thing with the batfandom though is that a lot of them tend to be insular. so when it comes to dc content, they consume batfam content ONLY. knowing fandom, they can't consume content without shipping so they're like why not with each other? around the time, people are also a lot more likely to ship incest and don't consider adopted siblings actually related so it's seen as "not as bad."

that said, b*tcest has existed way before this period. even in batman year one: deluxe edition, there was a comic that said that some people saw batman and robin as a metaphor for homosexuality. (what the fuck)

and there were livejournal groups for batslash. that said, fandoms were very small pockets of community at the time instead of the consolidated mass it will be on tumblr. so from what i heard from older fans is that at the very least people who were making any kind of fan content have read the comics. i think i read a meta that dick's fanon self at the time tended to be a bit like his outsiders self.

anyways, there wasn't even a reliable archive besides fanfiction dot net. so if people made ooc b*tcest fic or art then, it won't have the reach it has now in influencing fellow fans. (that said, dc managed to hire a writer who ships br*dick, giving these b*tcest shippers fuel. the resulting mischaracterization of the way devin writes dick will help fuel his fanon self later on. so that's one example already of how b*tcest fucked up fanon)

so with the influx of new fans from young justice and the rise of tumblr, modern dc fandom was born and in came the b*tcest shippers with fanon characterizations based off the show and n52 comics and their own headcanons.

with the way tumblr is set up, it's easy for non-fans of the franchise to see content from your fandom so people who haven't read the comics started coming in as well because they liked the fan content they saw. comics is a very daunting medium for people to get into because of the amount of material that can conflict with each other there is. so a lot of these new fans like to consume only fanon.

with the amount of b*tcest artists and writers there was, even people who didn't ship it would see non-explicit fanon content from these creators and assume it's is accurate. and so, the fanon characterizations became slowly accepted and popular and they end up adapting these b*tcest shippers' headcanons as well.

it did not help that a lot of b*tcest shippers will make meta to make certain batfam members closer than they actually are. and people took this plus the out of context panels as word of god of how they actually act around each other.

for example of fanon things that might be influenced by b*tcest

batfam living all in the manor (they don't.)

jason and tim's closeness with another (besides that one lobdell page where jason said tim's the only one he can stand and we shouldn't even consider bc lobdell does jackshit to research, they weren't very close at all.)

jason's use of the baby bird nickname for tim (major red flag)

dick being promiscuous/a womanizer/someone who likes getting naked (he's not. there's much canon evidence of him being uncomfortable with being objectified, unsure about nudity and being extremely monogamous. it's just a mischaracterization perpetuated by devin grayson (br*dick shipper) and tim seeley (hack)

i could list more (or you guys can comment more) but i'm honestly losing steam writing this. jnfenf i think as a fandom, we're getting better at debunking fanon at least - especially since the influx of batfans has slowed down compared to its peak. plus, inc*st is being more and more widely denounced in fandom spaces at all.

anyway, those are my rambling thoughts on how b*tcest shippers influenced fanon jkfnjkenf

[creampievampire]

Could you go into the difference between the subtext and queerbaiting in it, I'm still kind of -well it's obviously gay but nothing was really ever said or shown that says that expect for people talking about it- Like are the characters and their relationship just queer-coded (positivly ofc lol) but the baitiness comes from them sort of confirming it off the show?

of course! im assuming by ‘it’ you mean merlin, but rather than explaining the reasons why i think bbc merlin is a matter of subtext (or queer coding) and not queerbaiting, i think it would be easier and more productive to explain the difference between the two in general. they are very similar - which is why i think a lot of people are unable to tell the difference between them - but they have important differences

just a warning, this is going to be a LONG post lmao ive bolded exactly what each term means below, after which i go into more detail on the whole issue. this is something im passionate about so,,, ♥

queerbaiting specifically refers to a marketing technique in which creators hint at but dont actually depict a queer character or relationship. They do this in order to attract a queer audience with the suggestion of a character or relationship they can relate to, while also avoiding alienating their queerphobic audiences

queer coding is the subtextual coding of a character as queer through the use of things like metaphor, allegory, hinting, recognisable traits/stereotypes/experiences, etc. This is done to build believable characters and create more complex plot lines, and it is also regularly used by people who want to tell queer stories but are unable to do so explicitly. it CAN be used negatively to enforce damaging stereotypes, but that is just a small part of its usage

both of these things utilise subtext in order to work. subtext is not only a crucial part of the creation of any piece of media, but is impossible to avoid.

an example of the most basic types of subtext is when a character tells someone that everything is going to be okay, but you can tell they dont believe it. or when youre watching a story unfold and you suddenly connect the dots and realise whats going to happen before its explicitly stated - you used subtext and the hidden meanings and hints to figure it out!

the people involved w a piece of media create their story with a specific purpose or meaning in mind, and they construct the subtext of the story to reflect that purpose/meaning. HOWEVER, the viewers dont always see things the same!

your experiences and personality shape the way you view and interpret every piece of media you consume. if you hate cops youll see the insidious undertones in cop shows - if you grew up with an abusive parent youll see the biting implications in a characters dialogue that others find innocent - if youre queer you will search for and fine queer characters everywhere, regardless of the creators intentions

now, both queerbaiting and queer coding use subtext to function, right? so how do you know which is being used and whether or not its a bad thing? its all about intention

to give a specific explanation of the difference im going to use two examples that are (arguably) very similar in the way their queer characters became canon

example 1: adventure time featured the characters marceline and princess bubblegum, who have been forever depicted as a couple in fan content. their interactions in the show were read into and latched onto bc we saw ourselves in them and we saw it as positive queer rep. but their relationship was never explicitly discussed during the course of the show and was only confirmed at the end of the final episode.

that makes 10 seasons in which their relationship existed only in subtext, and when it did finally exist in canon it was only for a few minutes, if that.

example 2: supernatural featured the characters dean and castiel (lol) who have been depicted as a queer couple pretty much since the first episode cas appeared in. i personally hung on their every interaction, analysed every glance between them, bc i interpreted deans character as a parallel to my own childhood trauma.

cas joined the show in season 4, so that makes 11 seasons in which him being gay existed only in subtext, and when it was confirmed he was immediately cut out of the show. the exact nature of dean and castiels relationship still remains in subtext.

so why is it that adventure time is widely considered perfectly fine but supernatural is dunked on as being the poster boy for queerbaiting?

its bc adventure time involved queer creators and was an earnest representation of queer characters, but they were boxed in by their publisher, Cartoon Network and thus the only way for the relationship to exist in the show was through subtext.

supernatural, however, consistently neglected their queer character and employed transparent tropes and stereotypes - bringing him in just sparingly enough to keep queer audiences interested while never being gay enough to alienate their macho manly man queerphobe audiences. they would have dean and cas stare into each other eyes for a full 30 seconds and then almost immediately follow it up with an episode about dean banging a disposable female character.

so imho adventure time falls under queer subtext, and supernatural falls under queerbaiting

when it comes to a show like bbc merlin i see a lot of debate about whether or not its queer coding or queerbaiting, and my intention is not to convince you of either. merlin was very much a product of its time, and i have argued the same about seasons 4-6 of supernatural as well, before the queerbaiting escalated and became exhausting to me

the purpose of this post is to start giving you the information you need to analyse any piece of media and come to your OWN opinion as to whether or not its queerbaiting or whatever else

people will ALWAYS have differing opinions about this shit yall. i have debated so many times w so many people about where the line is and whats okay and what should be ‘cancelled’ and if consuming something deemed problematic makes you a bad person or not

and my conclusion?

if youre capable of acknowledging the flaws and issues w a piece of media without trying to defend it as a shining beacon of purity simply bc you like it, then you do you. enjoy whatever you want to enjoy - if i think its reprehensible i simply will never interact with you lol

at some point everyone has to stop regurgitating these generic woke speak cancel culture speeches and buzzwords and formulate their own opinions

my advice to anyone reading this is to learn how to do close reading (ill provide a link to a wonderful short guide on it in a reblog bc tumblr hates links) and start really considering where you draw the lines with all types of content. decide for yourself whether merlin or supernatural or adventure time crosses the line into content you cant stomach, but respect other people whose interpretations differ from yours

i know a HUGE amount of people think supernaturals confession scene was homophobic and toxic - a slap in the face - but when i watched it i saw myself reflected in dean. a repressed bisexual whose emotions had been stunted by lifelong trauma, who wasnt ready to face his feelings for cas but quickly realising that his chronic avoidance and fear was about to tear them apart possibly forever. to me it was tragic and beautiful, and i loved it

i also think merlin is a tragic and beautiful love story, and to me its a pivotal piece of queer media that changed the way i viewed love and made me believe that it was a possibility for me bc i related so deeply to arthur

i hope that you can draw a satisfying answer from this, anon, and i apologise for this post being a full essay lol but i believe it needed to be said  - i dont think there is a right or wrong answer here

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

Hi, I might be off base but I really like your fics and you give straight up answers to people, so I would like your take: What is the role of mediocre non-rarepair/non-Z.utara writers in ATLA fandom? (Not saying you are! I am, and I would like some clarity). I write sukka, kataang, and sometimes maiko. None of my stories really have impact. People read them i guess because they're there. I don't get on rec list. People don't do art of my stories. People don't beg me to update. (1/3)

firstly, im glad you like my fics! 💛

and now into the more serious parts of your ask.

my thoughts on the role of non-z.utara/non-rarepair writers (or pro-canon writers i guess we might call them?) are pretty simple: they are of the utmost importance. the richness of fandom is most apparent in its diversity, when you have a million different types of fics and authors and so much more that people can jump into and out of whatever, whenever they want. fandom needs all of its writers, regardless of what pairing (or lack thereof!) they're writing about. the atla fandom would be nowhere without it's canon and fanon lovers, plain and simple.

i understand your frustration. i have been on a rec list once for an mcu fic and nothing more. i've had fanart for one of my fics - one of my least popular ones, ironically - and i've only had one or two (but very lovely!) anons asking me about my wips (without me having sparked the discussion myself). it can absolutely be frustrating when you put your heart and soul into your work and sometimes it just doesn't get as much notice. your feelings are completely valid, and i think it's good you're addressing them (for me, personally, it is near-impossible to write when im holding a lot of frustration close to my chest; this may or may not be true for you, too, but either way it's always good to process emotions). sometimes you just gotta keep your chin up. simple, yes, but much easier said than done. and yet we persevere. i promise you, people don't just read your fics solely because they're there. people read them because they are interested in the stories you have to tell.

that person was definitely... callous. now, i don't think they would read your fic just because of a regular updating schedule (i've opened some fics that update regularly and realize it's not my cup of tea, so i leave and definitely don't go back even if they are updating weekly). the fact that they are coming back every week is a sign they're enjoying what you're putting out there! again, i think they did a pretty piss-poor job of wording it and your reaction is completely understandable (and i do not at all fault you for it), but i really do think the fact that they're continuing to read your fic is a good sign. they can claim it's your update schedule, but they must have a deeper emotional investment to your fic to keep coming back.

also, having a regular updating schedule is incredible. i know i sure as hell don't have one (except with one fic and that's bc it's already written lmao). so you should be proud of that, anon!

yes, i know, fandom tastes can be frustrating. it's true that beggars can't be choosers a lot of the time when it comes to rarepairs, and the absurd amount of attention that... well, basic z.utara fics often get compared to painstakingly researched moderately-popular pairings/relationships also drives me up the wall ("make out over a ham sandwich" is a hilarious example, btw, thank you for sharing it). sometimes you just gotta take a step back and think - hey. i cannot control fandom tastes. i cannot control what fandom likes and dislikes. all i can do is produce content i enjoy, and there are people like me who will eventually find my content and enjoy it, too.

anon, you're not a placeholder. and even if you were, aren't we all? aren't we all digging our own niche, holding our own place in a massive fandom? some people get luckier than others. that's how it works. people get lucky because they ship a juggernaut ship and they write a popular trope and boom - the fic may be a phenomenal piece of work or it may not be - 10k hits, 3000 kudos, 200 comments. it's luck! it really is.

my main advice is this: fanfiction is for you. it's for you to share. for you to connect with. for you to give to people who enjoy the same dynamics as you do. it should be fun! this isn't to say it won't get frustrating, especially because human instinct is to compare ourselves to others, but at the end of the day you should be writing fic (primarily) because you love doing it. and i promise you, anon, they are people who adore your fics and sit on the edge of their seat waiting for you to update. i promise. there are. i got a comment on chapter 20-something of one of my fics where they said they'd been reading since the beginning and absolutely loved my story but had been too nervous to comment. i have no doubt you have readers like that, too. and find your people, anon! i've enjoyed atla from the beginning, but recently i've made so many new friends who enjoy the same things i do (e.g. certain canon pairings) and we're able to gush over it with each other even when our comment sections are a little lackluster. fandom becomes much more enjoyable once you have a few people to freak out with.

in a more general sense, it's always okay to take a break from fic and writing if you need it, and im pretty sure you can turn off viewing story kudos and stuff on ao3 as well if you need a visual disconnect from that side of fandom.

i wish i had more advice or a perfect solution, but all i can tell you is to keep going. your work matters - it matters to you, it matters to your readers, and it matters to fandom as a whole. we are all wooden jenga blocks in a very, very precarious pile, and if even one person leaves, fandom collapses. we need every author, every artist, every consumer. and that includes you, anon. i hope that whatever you do, you continue to create in the manner that best fits you 💛

[lesbiancarat]

Lol its fine!! Reply whenever you can ^_^

But ahh true, true. Idk why I thought it would be a hint to the music lol but a sort og an evolution of the concept so to speak. Either way, am excited for the comeback because fresh svt is always iconic. Oohhh the concept photos are all pretty and idk which one to pick jfkshfjsjd. Like they are all very on brand for them but also unique and pretty. Very artsy haha.

Ahh yes, rabbitnwas forever iconic and it was what helped other places like discord to do similar things! But ah understandable!! Both seventeen and nct (when I was getting into kpop more) always felt like BIG well known groups due to their fandoms being so big at least to me. Especially when people always recommended their songs i just assumed they have been around for a while like bts when I joined only to realize they are still rookies. Monster rookies indeed!! The fact so many people love them is enough for me to say they are amazing, well respected and loved by many. Those comments annoy me, especially when people downplay their hard work by claiming 'bighit helped them get more famous' like what!? Yes bighit did help with getting more western attention per se but like downplaying as if they haven't achieved anything at all is confusing to me. Claiming how streaming fans aren't doing s good job to which im like one, mass streaming isn't healthy and two, fans who do try their best and we do beat records of our own. Seventeen isn't unpopular, just because they aren't you know who level doesn't mean they aren't big like do people forget what unpopular means?

Anywhoo, a day late but happy late birthday to our tiger King. May he forever rule the tiger land and take over the world with his tiger agenda lol.

yes! one side fits my aesthetic the best but all the concept photos were nice ^^

and yeah it is annoying but at the same time those people are so detached from reality that I'm just sort of like whatever djflgj like 'it's obvious to anyone who knows what they're talking about you're wrong so I'm not going to bother arguing w you' is sort of my mindset when i see those comments dhfkj bc if i don't think of it that way then i get angry easily. the way i see it bh/hybe definitely is helping SVT with western promotions but like. i don't think SVT/pledis would have been incapable of expanding into the western market on their own if they wanted to. but it's a given that it will be easier and faster with hybe bc they have connections and a reputation in the western market already established. honestly I'd guess that was one of pledis's main incentives for agreeing to the acquisition. but at the same time hybe and western media wouldn't give SVT the time of day if they truly were the flops some ppl try to claim they are lol

and yeah agreed, streaming culture can be super unhealthy. it's one thing to do it if you want to but at the same time don't be losing sleep over it or prioritizing it over your real life responsibilities. and definitely don't guilt trip and say a bunch of toxic things to others to get them to stream... i feel like it would be a lot healthier if fanbases just stuck to simply explaining, hey this is what streaming is and why it can be important (for like music shows etc) and here's how to do it properly if you choose to stream, and then just let people decide for themselves. there would still be people more than willing to do it, and without the guilt tripping maybe even more people would just find it enjoyable. but hey, what do i know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i also think most kpop stans underestimate how many views from from casual listeners and fans vs hardcore fans/streamers. like streaming does make a difference, but not 100M views difference like some people try to act like it does. tbh there are a lot of groups that have a smaller core fanbase than SVT but get hundreds of millions of views bc they have a lot of casual listeners. you can even see it internally too: don't wanna cry is SVTs most viewed MV by a mile, it's the only one to pass 100M views, let alone 200M. and it has nothing to do w carats streaming dwc extra hard, it's bc it's arguably SVTs most well known song outside of the fandom. i see reactors all the time who react to it and say "oh i know this song! i had no idea it was by seventeen" and you can look at the comments section and see a bunch of people saying the song has a fandom of its own/even if you're not a carat you have to know this song

kpop stans also put too much emphasis on views imo and also equate views to popularity, which on the surface might make sense but isn't always the case. actually in terms of profit, groups/companies make the vast majority of their money off of album, merch, and ticket sales than they do off of views. but those are all things that are a lot harder to "sell" than views, because they actually cost money for the consumer, while you can watch an MV for free. hence why it makes sense that there are a lot of groups with hundreds of millions of views that get relatively low album sales. it's easy to convince casual fans and and listeners to watch an MV than to get them to buy something

and I'm not trying to diss other groups at all or try to say groups that consistently get 200M+ views are flops, they're absolutely not. I'm just trying to point out that kpop stans completely underestimate the amount of casual listeners that exist

but this is why SVT is honestly such a fascinating case. their MV views are nothing to write home about, and yet they're the second highest selling k-act at the moment and are in the top 10 if not top 5 highest selling k-acts of all time, their album sales are literally insane. a lot of people chalk it up to carats being bad streamers but like i said before, streaming isn't going to make a difference of hundreds of millions of views. this indicates to me that seventeen have a bigger core fanbase (ie people who call themselves carats and actually keep track of seventeens activities) but a smaller audience of casual listeners compare to other kpop groups. and i think a lot of people, carats, and non carats alike, pick up on this in some way or another but don't realize that's what's going on and it manifests in kind of weird ways sometimes

and this fact isn't something that bothers me, i actually think it's super important more than anything for SVT to have a strong core fanbase if what they're shooting for is longevity. but i do find it strange bc as i said, groups that do better with digitals than physical sales make total sense from a consumer standpoint!! so how did SVT end up like this!! it's so interesting for me to think about. i think i would have a better idea of why this is if i had been around since debut but alas

the only thing i can come up with is that SVT is better at retaining fans or like... getting fans invested in the group so people who become carats are less likely to be multistans? bc multistans play a huge part in both being and attracting casual listeners. they're the ones making video compilations and edits and content that includes multiple kpop groups, which is how a lot of non-fans get interested in other groups. whereas if someone is just a carat and making content for SVT the people most likely to watch that content is ppl who are already carats. i know im not the only one that's noticed it's kind of rare for SVT to be included in multistan edits and videos. which i don't blame anyone for, i think most of those people genuinely just don't stan SVT and they shouldn't be expected to include a group they don't know we'll or at all. at the end of the day ppl can make what they like. but it's interesting to observe as a general trend. but idk SVT potentially having a lower percentage of multistans still isn't really an explanation for why SVT doesn't have as many casual listeners bc those things kind of just go hand in hand. like either one could be the cause of the other one if that makes sense

ANYWAY sorry for the long reply but as i said the ratio of SVTs core fanbase vs casual listeners is a topic i find endlessly fascinating dhfmfj

[thermie]

h h hewwo owoo 22 / 23 / 29 / 31 / 34 / 50 / 58 / 61 / 88 in any order, and u can also just. pick only those that u want :3

hhhh-ewwwo? I did say I wanted to chat and I desperately do not want to do work or studies so buckle in for a long post (derogatory). 22. role model? Oh man, I don’t think I have any, like, specific ones for entire things, though I do fall in my hero-worship phaes and then fall out of them like everyone else. I think that taking an entire person and being like I wanna be like them is... not for me though. But I do look up to some people for specific things - I look up to, weirdly enough, Abigail Phylosohpytube who I didn’t watch before her coming out for her graceful coming out video though she admits that the experience wasn’t obviously as smooth. I look up to lots and lots of people for their ability to create and their art (not gonna tag my fav artists bc am tiny and do not want people to look at me, but i do be reblogging). I look up to people like ConcernedApe Stardewvalley and Supergiantgames Hades for their ability to put so much soul in their work, smth I aspire to do. I look up to @not-poignant for, among other things, their idk how to say it best, wisdom in understanding and communicating with others and with myself? I’ve learned a lot by just sort of being in their periphery and seeing how they articulate their thoughts and choose to be kind and witness other’s pain. Hell, I look up to twitch streamers and youtubers sometimes (the recent nice trait I’d like to have if I ever went into bigger content production is how ibxtoycat deals with parasocial relationship realities). 23. strange habits? Hm. I don’t think drinking tea whenever I need a pick-me-up is strange, that’s just probably forcefully assigning a British nationality to me. I think my insistence on misspelling words in a way I think is lowkey funny might be one, I say thamks bc it feels softer, or thank bc it’s funny, I say sleeb, I say finkers or tryink or otherwise replace g with k for lulz. I also don’t know if it counts as a habit but I have a small leather band around my wrist that’s been there for a year soon. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I probs have like, stranger habits but I can’t recall rn. 29. best way to bond with you? Hmm. Well, if you show initiative and are explicit about wanting to spend time with me, that’s already a big chance of me spending time with you. And then if our interests match and I don’t think that you’re like, young in a way that automatically puts me in a position where I don’t feel comfortable really being myself around you bc in my head I have to look out for you (it has happened with two of my friends, sigh), and we regularly spend time together, voila, friend acquired. It simultaneously doesn’t take much and takes a bit to be my friend and bond with me - it’s easy af to become a casual friend cuz I’m always open to new people, but there has to be a level of trust to become like, a close friend. Respecting my boundaries, talking shit with me, being explicitly committal about wanting to bond with me are big steps that way. 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Uh, I don’t do neither, but a current fave that is reasonably badass is my black tshirt with like, a ritual circle and a deer skull. V edgy, 10/10. I also used to have like a real edgy tshirt with a jester and some dice that said the game of life, but I threw it out bc dysphoria. or maybe I put it at the back of my closet along with one other shirt In Case I Get Top Surgery so I can wear them then. 34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Many, such is the nature of advertising, alas. I have managed to avoid most of it tbh though, so the only place I am forced to sit through ads so they stick is my scrabble capitalist nightmare app where I play and always beat haha my coursemate. And they have adds for those shitty apps where you have to solve a puzzle that ends up failing in the add and like, drenching a man in green goo. I find those kinda fascinating tbh. Who plays these games? Who plays these shitty shitty games whose ad has to be “prove your IQ“ to make you want to prove yourself to play them? Oh and also, the insidious nature of ads in media I consume - the mcelroys have gotten me informed about many many things bc they do it in a funny way. Have you heard about squarespace? What about meundies? I also literally installed honey yesterday that I knew abt bc of the relentless adds and I wanted to save, uh, 2.50 from my minecraft server purchase (and then spent some time googling how they make money before giving up. just say u sell my data, that’s easier than not knowing what part of this makes you money). I was tired and in a weird mood, ok. 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? It’s always the stupidest jokes, what matters more is laughing together with someone and getting caught in a laughing loop. I still remember laughing with my siblings until our stomachs really really hurt bc I think one of us said a rug was vomit-colored and it was funny in the moment. How many times have I laughed like that with you too, vit. I know that Laura’s one is nostrilatu, right? :D :D It’s just something that catches you off guard, I think.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Oh shid. Hm. 1) My ability to analyze data and understand the basic building blocks of something. Makes me cool at studying and sexy at explaining things to my course-mates. 2) Not a talent more like a skill that I’ve worked hard on through therapy - but my inner positive voice/healthy parent is very strong and automatic (something I was sure would never happen). A good example is me going out for a walk, my phone dying so I can’t listen to music, when I went in my head “well I can always make music in my head. do-do-do *drum sound*“ and I could feel the wave of self-reprimand cresting but before I could actually hear any negative comments the positive voice said with a light of a thousand suns NO THAT IS ACTUALLY CUTE AND SEXY and just haaaaaaah. 3) I sing good. Need to sing more. 4) I think I’m good at making conversation. Even with people I don’t necessarily like or want to talk to. More of a skill again but whatever. 61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Do not come to me and ask for favorites, witch. Uh, I have some quotes in my notes app, like 7 from Pia’s writing :D. But imma go with “It’s a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world“ by Mary Oliver. It counts, ok. Or, wait, something I will for real one day either crosstitch of commission shitpostcalligrapher: “t’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. “What are we holding onto Sam?” “There’s good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.“” 88. your greatest wish? Hrm. Right now? To have like a couple days with no responsibilities and without the outside world bearing on me as heavily, to be tiny tiny tiny so I’m invisible and can drink tiny tea on a tiny leaf. Uh, in general? My recently formulated wish or a goal is stability/peace. Then everything else becomes ok because you can bounce back to stable ground between feeling shit or everything happening so much. And I’ve sort of reached that. Also like, half a million euros would be nice too so I can get a house and a car and go on a few trips abroad. :D // there’s two ask memes in my blog recently, go wild

[iraprince]

Do you have any tips for getting an audience of tumblr or Twitter. Sometimes I just get frustrated when a drawing I spent 6 hours on gets 3 notes or 2 likes and a retweet.

i think it’s really hard to have one size fits all advice for something like this — the internet is so vast, i only really know how to navigate my own specific niche of it, and different artists will always appeal to different audiences, so stuff that worked for me might not work for you. BUT i can try my best — i just can’t guarantee any of this is replicable bc especially with the new age of incomprehensible algorithms i just never know what’s going on at any given time

first off, a big disclaimer for transparency: a lot of my Big follower gains have been from my Hashtag Relatable mental health comics getting tons of notes. i do NOT!!!!! recommend making mental health content to try to get popular!!! i think doing so will put fucking worms in your brain!!! it will poison you and your brain will dribble out your ear holes like soup. i think that it is already complicated enough to navigate all the weirdness of like... making vulnerable stuff like that available for consumption, and doing it in Hopes of going viral and getting lots of followers can imo literally only end poorly. hhhhhowever, i would feel really weird if i like... glossed over the fact that i know that’s where a lot of my followers have come from, or acted like that didn’t happen, so. i just have to like, mention it. my takeaway here is if you’re going to make mental health content FOR YOURSELF because you WANT to, brace yourself for it to potentially circulate, and be ready to feel really weird about it, but i do not recommend it as like... a way to purposefully grow an audience.

ANYWAY. with that nagging out of the way. actual advice

1. fanart, but only of stuff you really actually like. it is literally just a fact that it’s easier for people to feel invested in and care about characters from stuff they’re already invested in than original independent content. it’s not wrong to court that! but i think u should only pour energy into fanart of stuff u actually like — not bc chasing after whatever the current BNHA-type thing is rn is “selling out,” who gives a shit, but bc the end goal is to have an audience who WANTS to see what YOU want to make. you want people who care about your specific set of aesthetics and interests, not ppl who will unfollow en masse the second you fall off trend. (if you DO tend to really like what’s super popular, there’s nothing wrong with that! that’s lucky for you, genuinely.)

2. self promo all the time. this one can be hard bc it feels embarrassing at first. you feel like you’re spamming people or being annoying or self centered. but listen: people follow literally hundreds of accounts. you remember every time you’ve boosted your drawing; most of the ppl who follow you probably didn’t even see it. and if they see it twice or three times among the literally hundreds and thousands of posts anyone sees per day that is not a big deal. stuff gets lost! timelines and dashboards move fast! i cannot count the number of times i’ve seen something cool and thought “oh i’ll check that out” and then five minutes later i’ve forgotten bc of information overload. you have to constantly remind people that you exist and that you make things and i promise you you’re not being as annoying as you think you are. (i know you guys don’t see this in practice from me much on tumblr; that is bc i don’t really like it here and i don’t understand the vibes. i never shut the fuck up on twitter)

3. follow and engage with your peers, not just people with 10k+ followers who have already “made it” or whatever. this is not advice about growing an audience so much as advice for not feeling super shitty while you’re trying to grow your audience. i’m not saying that people with tons of followers/bustling online shops/enamel pin empires are like a completely different category of person of whatever, that’s not my point; clout is not direct deposit and just bc someone is popular doesn’t mean they’re coasting by without worries; etc etc. but my point is that i used to only follow very popular, established artists who were, in my mind, “out of my league,” and i spent all my time beating myself up for not being them or being consumed with jealousy and resentment. but... spending more time with artists who are kind of at the same ssstage of figuring things out as i was, as much as any individual journeys can ever be “the same,” was much more encouraging and inspiring and energizing, and helped me reset my concept of what “success” means for independent creatives into something more healthy. don’t wear yourself out chasing after people who seem to be moving way faster than you, especially if it’s making you feel like shit! find some people who are walking at a pace you can relate to, take interest in their stuff, talk and form connections. you’ll feel better.

4. just draw the stuff you want to even if you don’t think it has audience appeal. literally just draw exactly what makes you happy. this sounds like i’m trying to pull some corny Just Be Yourself! Believe In Your Art! shit and i mean yeah i guess but i also mean that literally from experience there was a significant surge in interest + appreciation of my work when i went apeshit and just decided to do the most self indulgent shit possible no matter how cliche or tacky or cringe or whatever it was. people respond to sincerity and passion, i really believe that. people can tell when you’re having fun and they like it. who doesn’t wanna be around someone who’s always having fun

that’s about all the stuff that i think could be considered like.... more or less universal. i dunno!!! just keep at it. the internet is a nightmare i don’t really know how it works

[protectteamfreewill]

Truth, dare and confess

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, fluff

A/N: bc I think we could all use a Dean to take care of us when we’ve had a little too much to drink :’)

*I do not own any Supernatural characters or gifs I may use*

You didn’t consider yourself to be a bad drinker. Just as Dean, you were able to drink a lot before actually getting drunk. That’s one of the reasons the two of you loved going to bars together so much. You’d always try to get the other drunk first, the alcohol flowing through your veins loosening you both up and making it easier to talk about whatever it was that came up. Sometimes the two of you would make bets with random people, betting on who could down the most shots or chug a glass of beer the quickest, barely ever losing one of them. Other times you’d just drink and talk, enjoying each other’s company.

In other words, you and Dean going to a bar together always ended in a good night. You enjoyed making bets and drinking people, especially the ones who underestimated you, under the table. You enjoyed challenging Dean and, even though soberly you would never admit it, you liked having deep conversations with him. The kind of conversations you could only have after having consumed just the right amount of alcohol.

But tonight you might’ve overestimated yourself a little.

You and the Winchesters just wrapped up a case earlier today. Said case being a nasty witch with anger issues a few towns over. Luckily neither of you got hurt, but it was a case that, in all your opinions, took way too long to figure out. After returning to the bunker and unpacking most of your stuff it, it takes one shared look between you and Dean to make a silent agreement on your next stop: the nearest bar.

You ask Sam to tag along, but he insists on wanting to catch up on sleep, maybe do some reading, so you simply wish him a good night and let him be. He didn’t usually go to bars with you and Dean, but you always asked.

Not soon after you’ve changed into a new and fresher pair of clothes. You don’t spend too much time on your outfit, not caring how it looks as long as it isn’t ripped or smells weird, and before you know it you and Dean are walking side to side towards the nearest bar you know to find, sharing an occasional thought about the case or other random things.

Right when entering the bar both of you do a quick scan of the crowd, making sure there don’t happen to be any suspicious characters hanging around to cause a fuss or take advantage of you once the alcohol kicks in and lowers your guard, before sitting down at the bar, Dean ordering drinks for the both of you.

You make more small talk as you drink your first glass, taking a sip of it every now and then and enjoying the slight burn in your throat the drink leaves in its wake.

It isn’t long before Dean hands you your second glass, grinning. “Dare you to drink it in seven seconds,” he says, challenging you as he takes a sip of his drink himself, knowing full well you won’t be able to refuse. That’s all part of the game, refusing is losing. And you both were just too damn stubborn to lose.

You chuckle, rolling your eyes, knowing just as well this was just a warm-up and a challenge you could easily fulfil. You don’t even bother asking what it gets you. You don’t care. You have nowhere to be tomorrow, except for Dean you’re surrounded by people you don’t know and you’re ready to get wasted. “You’re on, Winchester,” you answer, smiling right back at him. You take the glass and chug its content down effortlessly, looking Dean straight in the eye as you do so. He doesn’t even bother counting either.

You are in for an interesting night.

As soon as you slam your empty glass down on the bar, Dean motions for the barman, telling him to keep ‘em coming before sliding him some bills in advance. Almost instantly your glasses get replaced with new ones.

You take a sip, still grinning to yourself, when a voice speaks up besides you. Looking over you notice two men sitting on the seats next you. They don’t look like they mean any trouble so you just flash them a smile and hum in response.

“We overheard your little bet over there,” he continues. “Are the two of you in for a game?” he asks, his companion nodding along to his words.

You look back at Dean, interest obviously sparked, with raised eyebrows. Silently questioning if he’s in. As soon as a mischievous grin appears on his face you know: it’s on. “What do you have in mind?” you reply, smirking as well.

“Ever heard of a game called Medusa?” he asks, and when the both of you shake your head he begins explaining. “It’s actually quite simple. The four of us shut our eyes, one of us alternatively counting down from three to zero. On the count of zero everyone opens their eyes and stares directly at someone else. As soon as you lock eyes with someone you yell ‘Medusa’ and the person who says it last has to drink. You’re in the clear if you don’t lock eyes but, just a heads up, that doesn’t happen very often,” he says. “Get it?”

You nod, Dean mimicking you, and begin the first round. Even though you’d never heard of the game before, you get the gist of it pretty quickly and discover that you absolutely suck at it. You’d figured that with you being a hunter and all you’d be able to react faster but it turns out you were wrong. It seems to be working for Dean though, he’s barely lost a round so far.

After a couple of rounds the two men call it quits, assuring you that if they ever meet you again they’ll challenge you for a rematch. You laugh and thank them, letting them know that of course you’d never back down from a challenge like that, before they pay for their drinks and leave.

“That was interesting,” Dean says, looking down at all the empty glasses the barman has yet to clear up.

“Yeah you were pretty good,” you remark.

He chuckles, now looking up and gazing over at you. You’ve taken off your flannel, showing off more skin than you usually do, and your cheeks are burning red. He’s lost count of how much the two of you’ve had so far, but he figures you must’ve had one hell of a lot more than him. “Well I had to balance us out somehow,” he deadpans, making you laugh.

“Yeah.. I sure sucked.”

You stay silent for a while then. Both listening to the music on the radio as you silently enjoy each other’s company. You’ve lost count of the amount of drinks too. But you know you’ve had too many to really care about it anymore. Your eyes lazily scan the crowd once more. The room doesn’t look as full as when you entered, but it’s still pretty crowded. There’s all sorts of people sitting together, laughing, drinking. For a moment you wonder how many of them are here just to forget something they’re running from for one night.

But Dean doesn’t give you to much time to wonder. “Okay, truth or dare.” He asks, interrupting your train of thought.

You roll your eyes, not entirely sure  if he’s being serious or just messing with you. “Really? We’re doing this?” you respond, but you know you love these kind of things and you’ve already got your answer prepared.

“Truth or dare?” he simply repeats.

“Fine,” you say, rotating on your stool to face him and make it easier to play. “Dare.”

He smiles, the lines around his eyes crinkling, probably already knowing that’s what you were going to go for anyways. Yet he doesn’t seem to have a dare prepared because it takes him some time to come up with one. “I dare you.. to do three shots of Devil’s Spring Vodka.”

“That’s the best you can come up with?” you scoff, almost disappointed that’s all you have to do. Sure, it’s a drink that contains a lot of alcohol, but vodka just happens to be one of your specialities. And Dean’s well aware of it too. You order the shots anyways, waving a few bills in the air before you get someone’s attention, and knock them back easily, not even making a face. It’s a slight bluff though, the vodka is burning like a bitch, but you’d be damned if you let Dean notice. “Done,” you say, keeping your voice as normal as possible while trying not to cough. “Your turn.”

“Dare.”

“I dare you,” you start, wiggling your eyebrows as you let the suspense build a little. “To take five.”

Dean shakes his head in disapproval. “How creative,” he remarks, but ordering and drinking nonetheless.

The two of you continue your little game of truth or dare for a while, the hours slowly ticking by. As the bar gets emptier, you just get more drunk. Without even noticing you start slurring your words, the world appearing to be a whole lot funnier compared to when you entered the bar.

As you reach for yet another glass, the barman stops you. “I think you’ve had enough,” he states, taking the glass out of your hand and putting it behind the bar. “And if you keep on going like that it won’t be long before you’ll have to,” he tells Dean. “You’re done.”

“Aww you’re no fun,” you whine, pouting, but he’s already moved on to another customer.

Dean chuckles besides you, pulling some more bills out of his wallet to cover for both your drinks and throwing them on the bar before he pushes himself of his stool. “He’s right, let’s go,” he orders you.

You cross your arms in front of your chest, frowning. “I don’t wanna go,” you exaggerate, shaking your head and pouting as a little child would when he doesn’t get what he wants. You quickly stop shaking though because it’s making you nauseous.

“I know sweetheart,” he smiles, holding his hand out for you. “But we’re gonna. C’mon gimme your hand.”

Ultimately you give in, groaning once more to display your dismay about the situation before taking Dean’s hand and sliding off the stool. “Woah, world’s spinning,” you mumble as you stand up straight and your vision goes blurry.

“Yeah okay, we’re definitely going,” Dean states, voice clearer now he’s aware of just how far you’ve taken it. Thinking of it, he’s pretty sure he hasn’t seen you this far gone many times before. Especially not when you’re out in public. He’s still not sure just how much you’ve had, but it must be more than he’s had. As he guides you outside, one of his hands still holding yours while the other one is resting on your back to guide and support you, he makes a mental note not to let you play Medusa or anything even remotely like it again anytime soon.

The walk home takes longer than the way there, but Dean manages to get the two of you home safely, much to his relief. He’s had to catch you a couple times because you stumbled over your own feet, but aside from that you’d done okay. Physically at least. Your filter was long gone and you were talking about things he was sure you wouldn’t have had you been sober.

“Dean?” you ask as the both of you stand in the middle of the poorly lit library, Sam having let only a few lights on, still holding his hand.

“Yes sweetheart?” he answers, hardly able to repress a smile about your current state now you were home safely. He decides he actually kind of likes this look on you. Your hair falling loosely over your shoulders, shoulders that, for once, don’t seem tense but relaxed. He likes how you’re not worrying about everything, as he knows you usually do.

“I love you,” you say.

“Sure sweetheart,” he chuckles. “I know.” He plays it off, doubting you’ll even remember this in the morning, but he’d be lying if he said this didn’t make him feel some type of way. He’d been denying it to Sam every time Sam asked or made a comment about it, but he’d had a crush on you for months now. He was just too nervous to make a move on you, unsure you felt the same and not wanting to mess anything up between the two of you. Even though you’re drunk and he doubts you really mean it, hearing you say it was making his stomach go crazy.

“I mean it!” you pout, stomping your foot down.

“Okay, how about you tell me that again in the morning,” he says while walking towards your bedroom, softly pulling you along with him, making sure not to hurt you in the process.

“I will,” you say with such determination Dean almost lets himself believe it.

Upon entering your room you immediately let your body fall facedown onto your bed with a groan, causing Dean to chuckle.

“Sweetheart you can’t sleep in your clothes like that. At least put on your sweatpants,” he bargains, still smiling.

“I don’t wanna,” you whine, turning around so you’re laying on your back. “You do it.”

He hesitates for a second, wondering what would happen if Sam would walk in right when he’s pulling down your pants, seeing as your not exactly being quiet that wouldn’t be a surprise, or if you start asking questions about it tomorrow. But as you add a soft please he feels himself reaching for your sweatpants almost automatically, knowing exactly where you always put them, unable resist and wanting to help you.

So he changes your pants, covers you with a blanket and quickly runs out to get you a glass of water and some aspirin and puts it down on your nightstand. When he’s done you seem to have fallen asleep already, so he presses a featherlight kiss to your temple, careful not to wake you, and moves towards the door. Glancing over at you one more time, ready to turn off the lights and go to sleep as well, but the sound of your voice stops him.

“Please stay with me?” you ask in a whisper. “Please?”

He knows maybe he shouldn’t, not sure whether you’d regret asking it in the morning, but he can’t stop himself. Can’t stop himself from shutting your door, turning of the lights and walking back towards your bed to lay down besides you, quickly kicking off his shoes before he does so. “Of course sweetheart,” he whispers back, getting comfortable enough before shutting his eyes and letting himself drift off.

[jjkfire]

Preydator

Reader x Jungkook // shifter!AU, raccoon!jk // 6k words

Summary: Neither of you are quite the predator the two of you claim to be. + “I wonder what the people would say if they saw big mean lion predator tending to my wound right now.” raccoon!jk & (surprise (; hehe)!reader

Genre: Fluff

A/N: Okay I know scientifically raccoons aren’t exactly preys bc they eat rodents and frogs and etc. but… for the purpose of this fic, they are classified as preys. Predators in this au refers to… tertiary consumers, like top trophic level dudes. Also, football = soccer. Sorry, calling it soccer is very awkward for me!

You’re no stranger to late nights at the library. In fact, you love them. Your brain just works better at 1 am than it does at 1 pm. You also like it when there’s far fewer people in the quiet section of the library. The scent of all the others in the room can get a little too overwhelming for someone like you so, you’re truly at your happiest when there’s only a handful of people around.

Most people don’t like to stay at the library past 2 am because that’s when the campus buses stop running but you don’t really mind. Walking home at 3 in the morning after a long study session when the streets are eerily quiet, doesn’t faze you at all. It’s calm, peaceful and it makes you feel at ease. Your walks are usually uneventful and that’s probably a good thing. You have a small handheld can of pepper spray just in case of anything but in all your semesters here, you’ve only had to use it once and that had been a while ago, but perhaps you spoke to soon because tonight you find yourself gripping that small can in your hand, heart thumping loudly against your chest.

There’s the sound of a loud tortured squeal and you can’t quite pinpoint where it’s coming from. You pick up your pace attempting to get away from the source, but you don’t really know where to go. You know the sound is coming from a hurt animal and just that thought alone makes you sweat, because it probably means that a predator shifter that’s out of his or her senses is on the loose. Sure you should try to help whatever it is that’s making that noise but you reconsider the fact that you are but a tiny prey shifter and that if you do stop to help, you’ll probably be the next victim.

The squeals seem to echo no matter how far you walk, in fact they get louder and you start to run, your hand fumbling for the can of pepper spray in your pocket. You stumble, the loud clang of metal ringing through the night as you trip over a misplaced manhole cover. You whine, groaning in pain when you end up on the floor. The squeals are more urgent now, as if it was warning you of what’s to come and god, you shut your eyes, hoping that whatever feral predator that’s lurking will hopefully end your life quick, unlike its previous victim that’s still screaming in pain.

You’re waiting and waiting and waiting but the fatal bite to your neck never comes. You can still hear the squeals, less urgent this time, almost like there’s no effort in them. Slowly, you peel your eyes open, dusting off the dirt on your knees after you had taken a quick look around to make sure you were safe. You let out a whimper when you press at your injured toe. Surely it was going to bruise, you sigh, mumbling to yourself. At that sound, you hear the loud squeals again, accompanied with the sound of water being sloshed about. Odd.

Just up ahead, you see a hole in the ground, presumably where the manhole cover you just tripped over was meant to go. You inch towards it slowly, carefully, unsure if it was just a trap. If you were being honest, all of this seemed eerily like the opening of a horror movie. Despite your gut telling you to just take off and run, you risk a peek down the hole in front of you and in there you see the source of all your panic tonight, a poor little raccoon, limping around and squealing as it peered up at you.

“You poor baby,” You frown, as you watch the raccoon try to reach for the metal rungs on the side of the wall, attempting to climb up towards you. “Just wait down there. I’ll come get you!”

You take one last look around you, ensuring that the injured raccoon wasn’t being used to bait you because yes, you’re that paranoid. You remove your backpack and slowly make your way down into the sewer, nose wrinkling at the awful stench. When you reach the bottom, the raccoon stands aside timidly as if it was afraid of you and you offer it your hand, to show that you meant no harm.

“I’m no predator, don’t worry,” You laugh as it comes up to sniff you. “Let’s get you home, huh?” You murmur as you attempt to pick it up, making sure you avoid the large gash you see on its side.

“You still want these?” You ask, pointing to the clothes that are drenched in sewer water and it shakes its head no. Thank god. You didn’t want to touch it in the first place. With that, you attempt to climb up the metal rungs with just one available hand. It’s a bit of a struggle and you can tell that the little raccoon is attempting to muffle its pained squeals, burying its head in your shirt.

When you finally get back to ground level, you see that the gash the raccoon has is much worse than you had thought. It seems weak, tired, and when you ask if it could point you the way of its house, it only blinked at you. You can see the poor animal shivering in the light breeze, whimpering as it attempted to limp closer to you. You guess you had no choice but to bring it home with you.

When you finally reach your studio apartment, you quickly got a towel, helping the raccoon to dry off as best as you could without touching the wound.

“So… now what?” You ask out loud but you’re mainly talking to yourself because you know the animal has no capacity to answer you. “I think this will be easier to treat in your human form,” You point at his wound. “What’s your trigger?” You question.

Shifters mostly stay in their human form and only turn into their animal form when they experience any one of their specific triggers. For some it’s when they get angry, a very common trigger for large predators. For some, it’s when they’re hurt, for others it’s when they feel threatened and for the raccoon that you’ve just rescued, it’s apparently food because it’s limping towards your fridge, trying to nudge the door open.

“Food?” You ask as you catch up with it. “Okay, but first we gotta clean your hands,” You smile, as you bring the bottle of hand sanitizer down from the counter to sanitize its tiny little hands. An audible coo leaves your lips as you watch it rub its small palms together. Raccoons, you sigh lovingly. How could anyone hate them?

You open the door to your fridge, humming as you look at the contents of it, or perhaps lack of it.

“Sandwich?” You ask. All you had in your fridge was one half of the grilled cheese sandwich you had made last night. “I mean that’s all I have anyway, so the answer is going to have to be yes,” You chuckle as you pop it into the microwave.

“Just wait here,” You say as you move towards your closet to grab another towel. A cleaner and much larger one because you know once the raccoon shifted back, it was going to be stark naked and you didn’t want any… surprises. The microwave dings, and you hear the raccoon let out excited squeals, attempting to climb up onto the counter despite its injury.

You laugh, bringing the plate down to the floor before you watched it grab the sandwich with its little hands. The raccoon was absolutely adorable, munching on its sandwich and you’ll admit you’re quite a fan of the animal, if it wasn’t already evident from the numerous raccoon plushies sat on your bed. It’s a guilty pleasure but you often watch cute raccoon videos in your free time. Raccoons just have those cute tiny hands and that adorable little face and some of them are so chubby that all you wanted to do was pick them up and cuddle them. You’re sort of lost in your own thoughts about raccoons that it takes the tugging of the towel to bring you back to earth. When you look back down, you realise that in those few minutes your new raccoon buddy has finished the sandwich, which meant it was going to shift back soon. It’s probably why it had pulled at that towel with such urgency. It doesn’t get too far, just out of your small little kitchen before you hear a loud thump and a subsequent groan.

You quickly move towards the sink to wash the plate, trying to pretend like this was totally normal. The reality of the situation suddenly hit you like an oncoming train and so you continue pretending that your heart isn’t beating at 1000 miles per minute, that you didn’t have a complete stranger in your house and maybe you realize how naïve and stupid you are now that there’s a full grown human that you don’t know in your apartment. What’s worse is that it’s a man and you know that because that voice is way too deep for it to be a woman’s and—

“Hello.”

“Umm, hi,” You mumble, looking up from the plate that you have just set aside to see a half-naked man staring back at you. It takes you a second, maybe two before you go, oh because you’ve got the campus’ prized fuckboy, Jeon Jungkook, in your apartment... wearing nothing but a towel on his hips.

“Oh my god,” He shakes his head. “I just can’t believe it’s actually you. I mean I sort of realized in the sewer, but I digress. It’s you! Y/N the meme girl!” He laughs. “You know the uhh that—” He stops his sentence halfway, drop-kicking the air in front of him. “—that girl.”

“Yes,” You sigh. “I’m that girl. All thanks to you, Jeon Jungkook the professional meme maker.”

“I just edited funny text on the video,” He shrugs. “It’s basically all you… and Choi Junho of course. That sucker,” He laughs.

God, if there was one person you didn’t want the raccoon to be, it would be Jungkook. Scratch that, there’s two people you didn’t want it to be and one of them is Jungkook and the other would be Choi Junho, but you are well aware that Junho is no raccoon.

Junho is a beloved player on the college basketball team. People worship the ground he walks on and everyone, and really everyone loves him. He’s the reason your college’s basketball team has been doing so well. Back in freshman year, like everyone else, you liked him too. When you found out you were sharing a discussion section of one of your classes with him, you were ecstatic. You just wanted to be able to say ‘Oh yeah Junho and I are in the same discussion section. He’s pretty nice.’ at parties to make others envious and not really anything more than that. You never expected to know him any more than the usual classmate whom you would talk to in class and then smile politely at if you were to bump into each other in public, and for a long time, it was just that.

Then, one night at some Halloween house party, you bumped into him while you were pouring yourself a drink. He seemed sober for the most part and so were you. A few glasses later however, neither of you were sober and in some dark corner of the house, he had his tongue down your throat, his hands roaming all over your body. He kept asking if you wanted to go upstairs and for a moment you felt... good, because look at you, you were just seconds away from sleeping with arguably the most popular guy on campus. Yet, something about it didn’t sit right with you. Maybe it was the contents of your stomach that was threatening to come out any second now. So, you said no, respectfully, and told him you were comfortable right there. Honestly, you thought after that he would move on to someone else, his next prey or whatever, but he hung around, asked if you wanted to head back to his place, asked if he could walk you home, asked if you wanted to reconsider going upstairs. You got away from him somehow, you couldn’t remember how but you do remember dreading the fact that you would have to see him in discussion after the weekend.

You hoped that it had been the alcohol that made Junho so… creepy, that perhaps he would have forgotten everything and gone back to just knowing you as that person in his discussion section, but come Monday, you realised he had no intention of forgetting. He flirted with you shamelessly, pressuring you to go out on a date with him, always repeating himself even when you had respectfully declined, numerous times. Eventually, hes seemed to get the hint and instead, he would ask to meet at the library on the pretext of getting some work done, but then halfway through studying you could feel his hand on your knee. Although you guessed that could be a friendly gesture, it made you uncomfortable and so you would always find an excuse to leave. 

The worst part of all of it though was the fact that he didn’t feel guilty or bad or any sort whenever he saw how uncomfortable he made you. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it, like it was some sick game for him. He would text you all the time, find ways to sit next to you in lecture and discussion, show up at parties you were at, tried to befriend your friends. You felt like you couldn’t really tell anyone about the situation because Junho was well, Junho. He was popular, well-liked and if you were to say that you felt like he was borderline stalking you, you would be labelled as pretentious or an attention seeker.

You felt helpless. There was nothing you could do, because his aura in general scared you. He was a predator. You knew just from his scent. Predator shifters are rare, they are revered and Junho was rather proud he was one. He was a panther and when he was toying with you, you could see it in his expression, the mischievousness and power that he held. Whenever you were near him, you felt like you were in danger. You felt like if you said no one more time, he would just find ways to make you say yes. So, you tried your best to isolate yourself and you tried to find excuses so you could attend a different discussion section. You even changed your phone number. You did everything you could to get away from him. It did nothing to deter him though and he even bothered you well through winter break and into the following semester.

Then came the fateful day. Valentine’s Day. He had stopped you in the middle of the quad, with a box of chocolates in hand, handing it to you so everyone could see, so you were under pressure to accept. You didn’t want to. You knew that if you did, he would get the wrong idea and so you said no thank you, soft and quiet so nobody but him could hear. He insisted and put the box into your hand with that sick, sick smile on his lips. Everyone was cooing, smiling and you didn’t want that. You didn’t like it. You didn’t like that all eyes were on you, all the attention was on you and most of all you didn’t like the way he was looking at you like he had won, that you were his prey for the taking now. You wanted to run, your prey instincts told you to, but you know doing that meant that he would still be the winner so, you did what you thought was best. You took a deep breath, stretching your hand out, you dropped the box of chocolates and kicked it as high and as far as you could. You could hear gasps of horror, the look of surprise on everyone’s face and in the commotion of it all, you took your chance to escape. You were still shaking even when you went to bed that night.

The aftermath of it all was uncontrollable. There were so many videos of it online, from numerous angles. It was starting to get out of hand and you were receiving messages from strangers, half of them cussing you out, wishing you misfortune and the other half congratulating you on your— in their words— big dick energy. It was absolute chaos but you had achieved what you wanted and Junho was nowhere to be seen… until of course Jungkook came into the picture.

See, it was all fine and dandy until the ever wonderful Jeon Jungkook decided to produce numerous meme edits of the incident. They had titles like me @ my responsibilities and me @ my money, with accompanying music and video effects. What was a video that was popular campus wide soon became a viral video that had spread all across the world. Everyone and really, everyone recognized you as the girl who drop-kicked some loser’s gift… which meant now everyone recognized Junho as the loser who got his gift drop-kicked.

There was a shift of attitude on campus and suddenly people either feared you or wanted to be your friend. You were rumoured to be either a poisonous prey, or the more popular theory, some predator, perhaps a lion. That could not be any further from the truth, but in any case, you liked that. It meant that people feared you so, you played into that belief, made people around you think that you were in fact a predator when you were a prey. Lion shifters were extremely rare, the rarest of the rare and so you achieved that stay away from her status that you could have previously only dreamed of. You bought some predator scent spray online and you had the resting bitch face to match too and so that’s how sophomore year went for you. Good, quiet. People admired you from afar, kept their distance. It was nice and you didn’t have to fear walking around campus at night because you knew that people knew not to come near you. All except one, of course.

Choi Junho was not one to back down and so he came up to you when you were on your routine walk home from the library, alone and vulnerable. First, he appeared apologetic, head bowed down, shifting his weight from one feet to another, but the next second, he had you pinned against the wall, hand on your throat.

“You poor little thing,” He smirked. “You may have everyone fooled but oh, not me.”

His grip on your throat tightened and you could see it, his eyes beginning to change, that familiar feral glow beginning to show.

“I knew you liked playing games. You like being hunted, don’t you?” He licked the corners of his lips. “You want me to chase you, you want to feel powerful, but in the end you want me to put you in your place, don’t you?”

You struggled against him, gasping, your hand trying to loosen the grip he has around your neck.

“I love it when you look like this,” He grinned, wiping away your tears with his free hand. “All desperate and weak for me.”

Your fingers finally closed around the can in your pocket and with the little strength you had left, you sprayed it in his eyes, hoping to god that it actually works. The boy in front of you cried out in pain, crumpling to the ground as he wiped his eyes. You took the opportunity to kick him right in the gonads, a few times too many. People like him should never be allowed to reproduce. You told yourself it was in self-defence, but you knew it was mostly for revenge. That was the last time he bothered you. You never tried to report the whole incident. You had no proof anyway so, you continue to pretend like it was all a dream, or rather a nightmare. Junho’s still the campus’ beloved basketball star and you’re only one of the many girls he had tried to get with. You wonder if there are other girls like you out there, girls who had to suffer under his hands. That’s a thought you keep locked far, far away.

“Seems like I uhh, brought up some bad memories,” Jungkook mumbles when he notices the grimace on your face. You realize you’ve been silent for way too long and so you shake yourself out of it, bringing your attention back to the boy in front of you.

“Something like that I guess…” You murmur. “Anyway, so, you umm want to get cleaned up? I have some oversized shirts and sweatpants that you might fit. Might.”

“As long as they’re not Junho’s,” He jokes and all that garners out of you is a sneer.

“They’re mine,” You mumble, walking towards your closet to pull out some clothes. “Not fashionable in the least, but it’s better than walking out there naked.”

“Uhh debatable but okay, fine, true,” He nods as he looks to see if the clothes would fit. “Thanks… for the clothes and for umm everything, really. I’m not sure how long I would have been stuck down there... and with the gash and all, it could’ve ended badly for me.” He points to the cut on his chest which is considerably less menacing than when it took up almost half his body when he was in his animal form.

“It’s no big deal,” You mumble. “And yeah we’ll get that wound sorted out after you shower. Make sure to clean the area when you’re in there.”

“Yes ma’am,” He salutes, before you point him in the direction of your bathroom.

This surely wasn’t the way you imagined meeting the guy who propelled you to meme stardom. You expected it to be more hostile but then again, he’s injured and you can’t beat someone when they’re down can you? But, perhaps what surprised you more than anything was the fact that he was your kin, a prey like you and also, a liar.

See, Jungkook is a forward on the football team, a college athlete and that meant two things. One, he is a predator and two, he’s well-liked. Though the latter is unfortunately an undeniable truth, the first one however, considering what you’ve seen tonight is definitely false. This is important because only predators are allowed to be athletes and a major perk of being an athlete is the scholarship that comes along with it. No matter how good prey shifters are at a certain sport, they would never get to be an athlete and would instead have to compete for academic scholarships which are extremely hard to obtain. So the big question here is how did that fluffy little raccoon book his spot on the football team?

You guess he looks the part of a predator shifter, with a lean body and a fair amount of muscle mass… (not that you were looking at his body at all that is). Also, the fact that he doesn’t cower away from social interaction helped with the predator persona as most prey shifters tend to keep to themselves. Maybe you ought to take a pointer or two from him.

To you, it’s odd that he’s on the football team. He wasn’t an exceptional athlete as per se, in fact if you remember correctly, he spends most matches on the bench. Though you’d argue that even so, he seemed to be more popular than the guys who usually made it onto the first team.

He’s known on campus for being that guy, you know that 10/10 boyfriend guy. He’s the kind of guy you’d take home to your parents because you know they’ll love him, but he’s also the kind of guy that would fuck your brains out... but also the kind of guy that would take you on cute little dates. Yeah, you know, that guy. You’re not sure why you know all of this. Probably because in your first year at the dorms, those around you would not shut up about him, ever. From what you know, he got around but was always clear that he never wanted anything more. He wasn’t the kind of guy to forget names or lead someone on. He was always respectful. From the short flings he had, they always seemed to end... well, on mutual terms and the girls never had anything bad to say other than that he just wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. Rather, a wholesome fuckboy, if one ever existed.

You could definitely see it. He’s nice, charismatic, that much you deduce as he attempts to make small talk with you now that he’s done with his shower, but you realize he is also definitely trying to avoid getting his wound tended to. You’re not sure if it’s because he wanted to be half naked just a little while longer to garner a reaction out of you or if he was genuinely afraid of the pain that comes with applying antiseptic cream to a raw wound.

“Look, if you don’t want to do it, it’s fine,” You sigh, from where you’re seated on your bed. “I’m not your mother, you can do whatever you want.”

“No, I know it has to happen, but it… it stings,” He frowns, joining you. “Cleaning the area with water was already painful enough.”

“Well, just say whenever you’re ready then,” You sigh, turning away from him to turn on the TV.

“Okay, fine, just do it now,” He mumbles. “But— but be… gentle.”

You almost laugh at the way he looks in front of you right now, all timid and afraid. It was a huge contrast to how he appeared on the banners around school, all proud in his football jersey with his arms folded across his chest.

He winces every so often as you apply the cream to his wound, soft whimpers leaving his lips. You’re trying your best to be delicate, and you think you’re doing quite a fine job because halfway through when you look up at the boy, he’s smiling.

“I wonder what the people would say if they saw big, mean, lion predator tending to my wound right now uwu,” He coos, when your eyes finally meet his.

“Did you actually just say uwu out loud?” You gawk, pulling your focus away from his wound. “You know it’s an emoticon right?”

“Yes, but it’s also a feeling. See, uwu,” He coos again, his voice pitched higher. “It’s a feeling,” He reaffirms, grinning, as if what he had just said made perfect sense.

“Maybe I’ll just stick this cotton bud into your wound, and we’ll see how uwu you’re feeling.”

“Please… please don’t do that,” He grimaces.

Though the wound is not deep, you do think he should at least go get checked for the numerous bruises that litter his skin. He’s in pain, you know that for sure and he’s trying to downplay how much exactly, but you are no fool. Considering that it was a bad fall, you wouldn’t be surprised if he had a hairline fracture on one of his limbs. Jungkook waves your concern away, simply thanking you when you bandage his wound. He finally, finally puts on his shirt and you expect him to dash out of your house, but he seems to linger, as if he had something to say but he wasn’t quite sure how to say it.

“I see you’re a fan of mine,” He smiles, pointing to the numerous raccoon memorabilia that decorates your bed and side-table.

“Don’t read too much into it. I like the animal, yes, but I didn’t know you were one so, not to worry, I am not a member of the Jungkook fanclub.”

“That’s a shame. I hear the club has nice perks, like you know, quality time with me,” He smirks. “Which honestly speaking, is a rare commodity.”

“My, now I’m just dying to be in the club,” You huff, rolling your eyes. “You know, wouldn’t your fans be disappointed to find out that the guy they’re fawning over is not in fact a predator but a prey instead.”

“About that…” He sighs, hands nervously tugging at the ends of his shirt. “You know we’re in the same boat, don’t you? We’re both sheep in wolves clothing.”

“Nice twist on the idiom, I like it,” You nod. “But, I feel like you’re trying to make a point here. What is it?”

“That if you tell on me, then I’m telling on you,” He mumbles. “I’m not a fan of blackmail but I really, really need this scholarship.”

“Nice to know you think so poorly of me even after all I’ve done tonight but just so you know I have no interest in revealing your secret.”

“That’s not… that’s not how I meant for it to come out,” He sulks. “I just needed to make sure that you and I are on the same page.”

“Yeah, I understand,” You murmur. “I am curious though. How did you cheat the medical test? How did you get them to believe you’re a bear when in fact you’re a raccoon? Shouldn’t you have gone for a more believable animal like say… a fox?”

“Well, for someone who’s such a huge fan of raccoons I’m disappointed by the fact that you aren’t aware that raccoons are more closely related to bears than to either the cat or dog family,” He mumbles. “Thus, I did pick the most believable animal.”

“Well, you learn something new every day,” You hum. “Okay, but that still doesn’t explain how—”

“I hired someone to change the results for me.”

“You can do that?”

“If you know the right people, yeah.”

“Well, apparently I’ve been hanging out with the wrong people,” You mumble. “And your scent… how do you work around that?”

“I can’t use the spray because I’ll basically sweat it all off so I use that supplement… you know the one you see sketchy ads of on TV?”

“Preydator! Tell your fears, see ya later!” You sing-song, imitating the ad you often saw on TV. The jingle was rather catchy. “That one? It actually works?”

“Yeah, for now, but who knows maybe in 20 years after they’ve done adequate research, they’ll tell me that it’s killing me slowly.”

“That’s very disconcerting to hear…” You frown. “If you’re a quote unquote certified predator then you could’ve avoided this by just applying for the academic scholarships. Why didn’t you do that? The requirements are extremely low if you’re a predator.”

“Because I’m good at football,” He says rather nonchalantly. “And I have a bone to pick with the athletic department. Preys should be allowed to be on the team if we’re good enough.”

You almost say but you aren’t that good at football but you guess making it on the bench of the first team is still a feat, so you decide to hold off on that thought.

“So, now that you know all my secrets, it’s only fair that you tell me one of yours,” He smiles. “What are you?”

“Hey, I never said we were going to trade secrets. You just decided to tell me all of yours.”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair,” He frowns. “At least let me guess. Then you can just say yes or no.”

“Go ahead,” You smile. You were positive he wasn’t going to get it right.

“Rabbit? No?” He queries and you shake your head. “What’s… what’s a prey with attitude? Because that’s what you are.”

You only gawk at him. This guy just says whatever he wants. You’re starting to think that everyone else sees a different side of Jungkook or maybe they just excuse his sass just because of his good looks.

“A… frog? Or oh… don’t tell me you’re an insect shifter,” He grumbles with mild disgust.

“You know, that’s really mean but no, I am not an insect shifter.”

“You sure? You could easily be a black widow or maybe you’re one of those poisonous animals like that poisonous sea snail or—”

“Okay,” You huff, annoyed with the boy now. You rise to your feet, pulling him along with you. “You know this was a really nice chat and a very interesting evening, but I have an early class tomorrow so if you could find your way home now, that would be great.”

“But I still don’t know what you are yet,” He frowns.

“Boohoo, neither does most of the campus.”

“See, a prey with an attitude!” He exclaims. “Come on, I’m close, I know it. At least give me a clue!”

“Goodnight, Jungkook,” You smile, effectively pushing him out of your apartment with a kick.

“Throwing out an injured comrade like this. You’re heartless,” He fake sobs from the other side of the door before you hear him sigh and make his way down the hallway and out of your life, hopefully forever. Perhaps that was wishful thinking because in a few short minutes you hear hurried footsteps out in the hallway. You pay it no mind, or at least you try to do so but then you see shadows dancing just outside of your door, and when you finally get up to look through the tiny peephole, you find Jungkook standing out there, pacing back and forth as he silently practices a speech.

“Can I help you?” You question after having opened your door to find a very stunned Jungkook.

“Well, Y/N, it’s uhh nice to see you again,” He smiles, nervously so. “You see, the thing is I uhh lost my keys in the sewer, obviously and… you know the management office to my building isn’t open because it’s so late and—”

“Surely you have friends you could call up for help.”

“Well, firstly I doubt they’ll pick up a call this late at night and secondly, since I already shifted, I smell like prey and guess what everyone thinks I am,” He mumbles. “In case you’re struggling, the answer is not prey.”

“I’ll let you borrow my predator scent spray.”

“That’s a novel idea,” He nods, admitting. “But you can also let me stay the night.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“You know more about me than anyone on campus does. I’d argue that you know me very well,” He hums.

“Jungkook.”

“Y/N.”

You sigh, moving to shut the door on him because it was way past your bed time and you do not have the energy to have this conversation right now.

“Please. There’s a lot at stake here,” He begs, using his foot to stop the door. “You know what it’s like for us when we have to lie under pressure… We don’t do very well.”

“You’ve been lying your entire college career so I think you’re pretty good at it.”

“Listen, if there’s any inkling of me being a prey, my scholarship is gone. It’s a risk I don’t want to take,” He frowns. “The lie I tell to my teammates and my coaches, the predator act that I put on, that’s been carefully curated and I’ve gone over it ten thousand times in my head to make sure it’s perfect. I can lie, yes, but only when I’ve had time to prepare. I know you know that too.”

“Fine,” You grumble, moving aside. “You can stay, but… behave.”

“Yes ma’am,” He salutes once you let him through your door. “Thank you so much. Seriously.”

“You owe me.”

“Yes, undoubtedly. For everything, really,” He mumbles, shy and timid. His sentence is sincere, one you weren’t exactly expecting considering how snarky he had been earlier. He follows behind you closely, stopping beside the bed when he reaches it. You tuck yourself in from the other side and you’re turning to him, ready to deliver your whole spiel of if I find your hand anywhere remotely inappropriate I am going to saw it off, only to find him placing a pillow on your floor.

“What are you doing?” You query, watching him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Going to bed?”

“Why are you putting the pillow on the floor?”

“Well, because I can tell you don’t really want to have me here and I’m probably overstepping some boundaries and I just don’t want to impose really so I’m good with the floor.”

Even though it’s happened a fair few times now, you still find it oddly amusing to see Jungkook behaving like a prey shifter. Always cautious, always timid in unfamiliar situations. Though you do or rather did have some reservations about him, you can tell that he’s perfectly harmless.

“You can sleep on the bed,” You murmur.

“A-are you sure? I mean really you’ve done enough for me and it’s going to be morning in a few hours so it’s okay, really.”

“Jungkook, just get in the bed,” You groan. “You’re making me feel bad now.”

“I just need you to be 100% sure you’re okay with that.”

“Seriously, if you keep asking, I’m just going to kick you out of the apartment.”

“Okay, okay, I’m getting into the bed,” He concedes, quickly picking up the pillow. “Thank you,” He whispers once he finally settles under the blanket.

If he says anything after that, you don’t hear it. It had taken you less than a minute to fall asleep. When you awake in the morning, you expect to find the boy all sprawled out on his side of the bed but instead the covers on his side has been neatly folded, the pillow and your raccoon plushies all arranged in an orderly fashion. Jungkook sure was full of surprises, you note.

Later on when you head to the bathroom, you find numerous post-it notes stuck onto your mirror, all of them filled with apologies.

Y/N, I had to use your predator spray… Really sorry about that and actually just really sorry about the whole of last night. Thank you for being so kind and considerate and though I can’t see you right now, I know you’re making that face. The one you make when you think I’m being sarcastic but really I owe you. Big time. I’ll make it up to you… Though I have a feeling one way you want me to make it up to you is by just never having to see me again haha. If that is so, consider it done.

Love, the biggest member of the Y/N fanclub.

You almost laugh when you reach the end of the note. There’s even a poorly drawn raccoon to punctuate his sign-off. You guess he deserves an A for effort. What surprises you about the note though is how well he had read you from just that one night alone. Perhaps you’re more of an open book than you thought. In any case, you’re glad that last night would be the one and only interaction with him because judging from your past experiences with athletes, you know they only leave you with headaches so, you’re glad that both you and Jungkook are on the same page. In some way, the previous night seems like a fever dream, the whole entire experience so outlandish that you would have never even thought to dream it and for a week or two, you forget that it even happened until you get a reminder of the day, much belatedly.

You come home one day to find a box in front of your door. It has no address and has nothing to indicate the contents of it, until of course you flip it to find a drawing of a raccoon, this time a much better one. In fact it seems like he spent quite some time on it. When you open the box, you find the clothes you had lent Jungkook, washed and even ironed. What makes you smile though isn’t that but rather the small raccoon plushies you find, along with keychains and a phone case. A little note in the box tells you that Jungkook felt odd buying stuff that resembled him but he did owe you and that he hoped this in some way evened out the debt he owed. You think you’re starting to see why everyone goes on and on about how nice he is. At the core, he really is a sweet person. Annoying at times, but sweet nonetheless. In any case, the passing interaction you had with him was nice though you think this will probably be the last you hear from him.

As much as you liked to believe that, you’ll come to find out that the universe seems to have other plans. Because you keep seeing him again and again, and with each time, he seems to knock down the defenses you’ve set up with practiced ease. In fact, it takes him no longer than a week to show up on your front door, begging you for help and like the fool that you are, you oblige.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! As always, feedback is appreciated (:

This was a self-indulgent fic and rly my version of crack tbh. Also this fic is in honour of my buddy that actually drop-kicked a gift he was given. Unlike OC, he was just a dickhead. I really shouldn’t laugh because the poor girl just wanted to give him chocolates but good god, every time I replay the scene in my head I can’t help but laugh. Man, high school was crazy.

[setskill]

          hi  everyone  !  i’m  sab  ,  nineteen  ,  nd  using  she  /  her  pronouns  .  super  amped  to  get  to  write  w  u  all  and  introduce  u  to  jiho  who  has  recently  become  a  favorite  muse  of  mine  .  all  his  info  is  under  the  cut  (  i  tried  to  make  it  as  short  as  possible  bc  lord  knows  i  ramble  too  much  )  nd  i’d  def  love  to  plot  w  all  of  u  if  that’s  ur  thing  ,  so  just  hit  that  like  button  nd  i’ll  make  my  way  over  to  u  or  ur  welcome  to  come  to  me  !  d*scord  is  usually  easier  for  me  ,  but  i’m  not  super  keen  on  giving  it  publicly  ,  so  ask  for  it  if  u  want  !

˗ˏˋ    (  hwang  hyunjin.  20.  cismale.  he/him.  )  kang  jiho  is  a  98  liner  +  has  been  at  so!ar  entertainment  for  five  years.  they  are  the  main  rapper,  main  dancer,  &  maknae  in  the  group  zon3.  they  are  known  by  their  fans  to  be  observant,  diligent  +  passionate  but  they  can  also  be  reticent,  candid  +  flighty.  i  hope  that  they  can  make  it  in  this  industry.

          TRIGGER  WARNING  FOR  :  INTERNALIZED  HOMOPHOBIA  ,  RELIGIOUS  THEMES  ,  BODY  IMAGE  ISSUES  ,  &  SELF  ESTEEM  ISSUES  !

background  .

jiho  comes  from  a  dancer’s  home  .  his  mother  &  father  both  professionals  ,  while  one  was  a  ballerina  &  the  other  was  an  idol  .  

from  the  moment  he  was  born  ,  it  was  pretty  much  written  in  the  stars  what  his  life  would  turn  out  to  be  .  starting  to  dance  &  train  for  a  life  to  come  from  the  moment  he  could  walk  .

his  parents  were  relentless  .  never  gave  him  the  time  to  have  a  life  as  a  child  .  it  was  dance  or  nothing  .  there  wasn’t  ever  a  choice  .  

father  hung  up  on  passing  on  his  legacy  ,  mother  hung  up  on  people  remembering  their  name  .  

it  was  all  about  fame  &  appearances  .  never  about  love  or  family  .  they  barely  cared  for  each  other  as  it  was  ,  all  of  it  caught  up  in  their  heads  ,  both  after  what  the  other  could  give  them  material  wise  rather  than  emotion  wise  .

(  so  it  was  no  surprise  there  were  other  people  flowing  in  &  out  of  his  parents’  lives  ,  out  of  their  home  in  the  middle  of  the  night  when  one  was  away  or  the  click  of  the  lock  too  early  in  the  morning  for  it  not  to  be  suspicious  )  .

they  were  strict  .  would  work  him  to  the  bone  from  a  young  age  because  he  was  going  to  be  successful  whether  he  wanted  to  or  not  .

dance  was  his  life  .  never  having  the  chance  to  be  a  kid  ,  he’d  go  to  school  ,  come  home  do  work  ,  then  leave  for  his  mother’s  studio  until  the  early  hours  of  the  morning  .

life  was  lonely  .  kids  would  bully  him  for  dancing  .  make  fun  of  how  scrawny  he  was  .  the  whole  nine  yards  .

didn’t  quite  help  that  his  parents  only  cared  about  his  dancing  &  not  himself  as  a  person  .  they  fought  a  lot  ,  lots  of  yelling  at  each  other  ..  lots  of  yelling  at  him  .

worked  his  ass  off  in  hopes  that  if  he  kept  doing  everything  right  his  parents  would  treat  him  like  their  own  child  &  not  some  robot  they  manufactured  .

they  always  sort  of  saw  him  as  a  failure  .  nothing  he  did  was  right  .

it  was  their  idea  to  have  him  audition  to  an  entertainment  company  .  carry  on  the  family  name  .  make  them  proud  .

he  was  indifferent  .  he  loves  dancing  despite  it  consuming  him  until  he  can’t  breathe  .  without  it  ,  he  would  be  lost  .

went  along  with  it  ,  auditioned  &  right  off  the  bat  at  age  fifteen  ,  he  became  a  trainee  for  solar  .  the  new  up  &  coming  dancer  that  people  needed  to  look  out  for  .

it  was  so  much  pressure  ,  training  has  always  been  hard  ,  but  with  the  new  edition  of  his  whole  life  on  the  line  ,  it  just  got  worse  .  

didn’t  help  his  parents  were  always  breathing  down  his  neck  .  they  were  more  harsh  with  him  than  they’d  ever  been  before  .

had  to  be  perfect  .  had  to  have  the  best  body  ,  had  to  look  perfect  ,  had  to  act  perfect  .

taking  so  long  to  lead  up  to  debut  ,  he  felt  he  wasn’t  good  enough  ,  still  doesn’t  really  think  so  ,  his  parents  don’t  think  so  either  .  

yet  ,  they’re  content  with  him  finally  on  the  road  to  debut  ,  but  they’re  not  satisfied  which  means  this  journey  is  only  going  to  get  worse  .

some  other  tidbits  about  him  :

he’s  bi  …  but  doesn’t  really  want  to  admit  it  to  himself  ,  kinda  doesn’t  really  know  ,  due  to  his  upbringing  ..  thinks  he’s  a  hettie  .

his parents are very religious . old school religious you know ? liking anyone that wasn’t the opposite sex of you just . wasn’t a thing .

he’s  a  sagittarius  .  haven’t  decided  his  full  chart  yet  though  !

definitely  a  secret  romantic  .  can  be  quite  cuddly  when  he’s  comfortable  with  someone  .

likes  to  reflect  a  lot  ,  he’s  very  ,  very  hard  on  himself  &  never  thinks  anything  he  does  is  perfect  ,  so  he  keeps  journals  &  tracks  his  progress  &  has  been  doing  that  since  he  was  young  .

practices  way  too  fucking  much  .  like  he’ll  be  up  until  the  sun  rises  bc  he  needs  to  make  sure  he’s  succeeding  .

struggles with a lot of self-esteem issues & body images issues . it doesn’t help the sexier concept of his group that he has to flaunt himself .

struggles a lot with his sexuality .

personality  .

jiho  is  very  closed  off  .  doesn’t  necessarily  know  how  to  make  friends  ?

but  he’s  a  sweetheart  ?  he’s  not  overly  rude  ,  he’s  just  kind  of  blunt  ?  isn’t  gonna  say  more  than  he  has  to  .

he’s  kinda  drawn  back  .  not  super  touchy  or  affectionate  unless  he’s  comfortable  &  knows  u  well  .

more  into  superficial  relationships  bc  that’s  all  he’s  had  his  whole  life  .

he’s  very  determined  &  won’t  let  anything  get  in  the  way  .

can  be  quite  impressionable  ?  especially  bc  of  his  parents  .  he’s  a  little  lost  in  life  ,  but  won’t  let  anyone  know  he  has  to  be  Perfect  .

kinda  flighty  .  scared  of  committing  to  anything  besides  dance  as  it’s  been  his  whole  life  &  when  it’s  not  it’s  uncharted  territory  .

likes  to  observe  a  lot  ,  can  be  a  bit  of  an  ass  &  critique  ppl  but  he  means  well  .

most  people  think  he’s  an  asshole  because  of  his  stage  persona  and  that  he’s  quieter  ,  more  reserved  .  has  embodied  that  a  little  bit  .  be  what  you’re  told  to  be  .

is a bit of a pessimist .

doesn’t  believe  in  love  !  is  terrified  of  it  !  because  his  parents  never  taught  him  what  love  was  or  given  him  any  .  plus  he’s  scared  from  his  parents  relationship  .

just  give  him  love  &  support  &  affection  &  he  will  end  up  really  liking  u  .

he’s  definitely  very  supportive  when  he  wants  to  be  &  he  cares  abt  u  !

wanted  plots  .

dance  partner  ,  give  him  someone  who  he’s  been  training  with  for  years  ,  someone  that  helps  him  be  his  best  &  he  helps  them  be  their  best  .

an  ex-girlfriend  would  be  fun  !  some  juicy  ,  angsty  shit  ..  jiho’s  whole  life  is  dance  &  giving  it  up  for  love  ?  something  he  wouldn’t  have  done  .

maybe  ..  a  boy  he’s  sort  of  secretly  had  a  crush  on  ,  but  has  never  wanted  to  label  it  as  that  .  he’s  like  a  lil  puppy  ,  just  infatuated  with  them  .

while  jiho  isn’t  the  best  at  making  connections  ,  a  best  friend  for  him  would  be  nice  ?  someone  he’s  managed  to  actually  connect  w  &  get  to  know  on  a  deeper  level  .

knowing  each  other  in  their  childhood  is  possible  ?  if  they’re  a  dancer  ,  they  could  have  attended  jiho’s  parents’  studio  &  whatever  comes  from  that  ,  whether  they  liked  each  other  or  there  was  some  animosity  idk  ..  totally  up  for  whatever  !  

a  good  old  fashioned  rival  would  be  fun  ,  someone  that  just  grinds  his  gears  &  they’re  always  at  each  other’s  throats  .  lots  of  bickering  ,  lots  of  tension  .

someone  pls  have  a  little  crush  on  him  i’m  begging  ..

pls  .  give  him  an  older  sibling  figure  ..  or  someone  that  takes  care  of  him  &  he  does  his  best  to  do  the  same  .  has  probably  seen  him  at  his  worst  ..  just  smth  precious  &  sweet  .

honestly  !  anything  else  ,  i’m  open  tbh  .

[yeah-how-about-nope]

I think one of the biggest problems in discourse culture these days is the death of nuance.

It’s a problem in social justice circles as well as fandom and that alone, that huge overlap, makes me think it does have something to do with Tumblr as a social network. Or maybe social media as a whole.

Because before social media, when “sharing your thoughts/experiences with your hobby” and “discussing actual RL problems and looking for solutions” usually happened on different platforms and it was easy to just do one at a time without even being reminded of the other if you didn’t want to.

Not that it’s not cool that you get exposed to the concept of critically engaging with the media you consume more easily nowadays than you used to 10+ years ago. But the way it is now - here, especially - you barely have any control anymore over when you want to do that and when you just want to chill and mindlessly enjoy something for the sake of winding down from RL.

And since the key word in social media is media, it’s getting more and more like traditional media where the catchiest, most outrageous headline seems to get the most readers (some of which agree to it, some of which show up to rage-consume it).

So the Hot Takes on Who To Cancel and What To Support lose more and more of the nuance the majority of social justice related topics can’t help but need.

Because people are people and you can’t approach dealing with humans with an All-Or-Nothing-At-All-Times attitude.

But sj posts would be pretty long if all of them always aimed to include all of the necessary nuance, so they usually assume the nuance as given.

an example:

“More queer representation in media created by actual queer people is what we want. We have made bad experiences with straight people’s ways of telling queer stories.” Makes sense, right? We all agree on this. But does that mean someone has to be out as queer before they’re allowed to create queer media? Should we assume everyone who isn’t out who creates queer media is straight? Or secretly queer after all? What about straight ppl with queer loved ones - queer kids or partners or parents? Are they allowed to create media containing queer narratives? How much do we allow whom to go into what details of the queer characters’ lives? Is it helpful to prohibit all straights to create queer media? They have it easier to create whatever they want and have it seen. If they’re aiming to do it well, if they use their privilege to push for more queer media and support queer creators, does that make it okay? But what if they fuck up something, have a character use an outdated slur or generally not be super “woke”, does that undo all previous work they put into making queer narratives more mainstream so that queer creators might have it easier to get into the industry, too?

[cue ”Now we don’t have time to unpack all of that” gif]

At least not every single time the topic comes up. Because then the actual argument we want to make gets muddied and if it’s something we advocate for, we want something short and catchy and easy to get our point across.

The thing is, in spaces where not everyone engaging with sj content has been around for long enough to be aware of all these little details and things to consider, the nuance can’t be assumed as given.

Which is generally okay bc people have to learn about new stuff some way and we all start out with a simple idea of the world that becomes more complex as we get older and live in it longer.

That’s life.

But nowadays and here, nuance is about to die altogether, it seems.

Seemingly quick and easy solutions to obviously clear-cut problems are advocated, reblogged, repeated and taken literally.

And everyone just assumes that everyone else understands them the way they, personally, do and if they don’t, then they should be cancelled bc “problematic” doesn’t mean “we should talk about this maybe and be aware of it, but that doesn’t mean no one’s allowed to consume it” anymore, it means “bad, don’t touch or you’re bad, too”.

And that’s sad cuz I feel we were on a good way there, back when we could still discuss problematic stuff in media more thoroughly, before “yeah, don’t watch/read this, there is a bad thing in this” was the norm here...

[riskeith]

hi babe ! its snowing so much here today i’ve been cold all day :( but i got some chai latte and made snow angels so i’m feeling a bit better,.. <3

i wish there was a way to trade objects or send them away!! ik it would spiral into hacking, scamming and would probably defeat the purpose of the game by making it much easier but still :( it would be nice to help out friends with some objects.. :(

actually the most annoying thing about mobile is the camera. it sometimes glitches especially during battle and i find myself stuck facing a mountain bc the camera. so i see why people might complain. also sadly NO :( i wish!! i have an old laptop i thought of using but idk if it can handle it. i think i wanna try it out though. do you use a laptop or pc?

that’s true. i wish we could like... unable easy mode and just chill LMAO hsjshdhdk. but combat does get more fun the more you progress, i’ve started to really enjoy it. now i get why you started to like dragonspine.... i think.... i’m still iffy about that place... 🤔 fuck the cold.

dude. they’re sooo good. i love how they just.. angrily reassure each other constantly. kageyama’s just ARGH *literally smacks sense into hinata’s head* and hinata’s just EEE *takes the compliments and spikes like a mf*

i actually didn’t know much about voltron when i first started watching. i only knew about shiro because an acquaintance had posted about his gay announcement but i never checked it out. i actually got into it in a funny way... i was on yt one day and i saw a video titled ‘are keith and lance gay?’ and i was like who the fuck are keith and lance? then because i’m such a gay person myself i decided to check it out and i saw keith and was like... wow that’s a cute boy... then i saw their dynamic and said WOAH. and well... i just started watching and got hooked and i thought everything was neat and fun so i watched up until season 3 without engaging in any fan activities so i had no idea what people were saying...,, then i did and i was greeted with the shit storm. and the rest is history. but i can imagine it must’ve been so fun... the excitement of not knowing where the story will go and getting new content and being in the fandom while it was alive despite everything.... ahhh how did you find out about the show?

dude YEAH!!! do you feel like university affects the way you handle your fandoms? we talked a bit about hobbies and stuff but what about fandoms?

(MAKES A SECOND REROLL ACCOUNT JUST FOR THIS.... 🥺 omgggg imagine how cute that would be wait omg i’m actually like ahhhh.. we could go on dates at liyue... or watch the sunset at cape oath.... or have picnics at any mountain top... 😳 YEAH PLS that would be so nice... help is anyway nice to have and you’re such a op now you’d just murder the villains in a second... 😳 oo. although i checked earlier and my server is in america for some reason? i really hope they do the cross-server thing life would be SO good. i’d ask you on a date in a heartbeat. 😳 which characters would we use on this co-op date?)

KOSMO!!! BEST PART OF VOLTRON???? kosmo... come back to us please.. please. ok maybe second best part after keith in the bom suit..... god keith in purple just sits so right <3333 sooo right <3333 I VOTE FOR KEITH BECAUSE HE’S HALF-GALRA SO I GUESS THAT MAKES HIM THE FUTURE *LOVE-SICK SMILE* yeah... hahaha fucking fools. ‘rewrite where lance was looking for keith to confess to him bc they were going back to space’ CRIESSSSSSSSSSSS... CLUNAAAA... 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 hi.. 🥺 now i’m just gonna think about this all night and clutch my heart. thank you for that. btw how would you feel about a voltron movie ?

(i love how our topics just jump from genshin to voltron to genshin to voltron again lmao)

lots of kisses from your m.a. <3333

(okay this ended up being very long bc i combined your second ask too and talked a lot so i hope it’s okay i put it under a read more fkdsjhfks)

omg snow!!! is it all pretty and fluffy 🥺🥺 also ‘chai latte’ and ‘snow angels’ in the same sentence when you said you were cold made me fhfksfjs but i’m happy you’re feeling better! muwah 🥰

yeah same!! i said that to my brother when i first started playing i was like ‘i wish you could trade characters’ and he just gave me a deadpan look and was like.. why would they allow that FHDSFKHD sigh but it would be fun!

ah yikes no! sometimes the camera fucks up even on pc so I can’t imagine what it’s like on mobile in the pivotal moments fhdkfjsd. and i use a laptop! i don’t have a pc ahaha. ahhh i hope you somehow manage to find a laptop/pc to try it out thoo

AHAHAH come on m.a. give dragonspine another shot 🤪🤪 but yeah the challenge is fun sometimes! tho i tried to do a domain like 3 times today and kept failing so... it’s also not fun. (i also tried to find some vids about how to build my characters and got overwhelemd fkhsdfks i feel like i’m going about it all in the wrong way ahhhhhhhhhhhh)

FSHDFKJSDHFKSDHJF THAT DESCRIPTION OF KAGEHINA YES 💯💯💯💯 the accuracy omg.. they’re such chaotic idiots i love them!!!!

!!! what a story that is ahah omg it’s like fate... icb you got that vid recommended to you lolol iconic... and i found out about it from my dash!! someone reblogged a screenshot and i was like “legend of korra?” FHSKFJHSKF so basically i thought it was a korra comic or something bc the art style was so similar fhskdfjd. and then i went searching and gave it a shot! and fell down the rabbit hole..

ooo wdym by handle my fandoms? i do know that last year when uni got overwhelming i locked my twitter and made a priv to vent and just. didn’t really go on social media if that’s what you meant FHSKJSDHKF but yeahhhhhhh uni fkn sucks. sucks out all the motivation i have for anything... i type so many words for lectures that i don’t have the energy to write fic :// FJKDSHKSDHFKSHF don’t meant to get so negative but yeahh lol. hbu?

(all those options got my heart going doki doki 😩 who needs real life dating when you can date in the gorgeous atmosphere that is genshin? AHAH. and oh? america??? maybe they just did that as default hm. as for which characters.... i don’t know that we have any that make up the popular ships fhdskjfj (xingqiu/chongyun, zhongli/childe, beidou/ningguang).. tho i see xiao/aether and xiao/venti on the rise so when the time comes ... AHAH you can be the venti to my xiao <3 LOL)

!!!!!!!!! okay i’ll list that down as the fic idea.. but no promises once again sdjfhksdf but i’m also very 👀👀👀 at the concept so! will def keep it in the back burner. 

hm. i honestly don’t know if i would even pay any attention to it hfksdhfjds like voltron left such a sour taste in my mouth i don’t even know that i could consume any canon content ever again. but it’ll also depend on what the plot would be? lol. would you be okay with it?

(lmaooo we be balancing many convos at once look at us 🤪)

ALSO!!! i’m watching spirited away rn and omg. i love haku sm. i love no face too!!! (at least in the beginning when he (?????) was helping sen <33) all the characters are really good as well tho and ofc the art and music!! i really wanna draw something for it now...... and it makes me very excited to watch howl’s moving castle!!

‘I saw the person my younger self had been enraptured by. I saw someone who took my breath away. And when I blinked, I saw the present you. A soul which, slowly but surely, I’d started to fall in love with.’

UMMMMMMMM CLUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! explain yourself right now.........., what is this goddamn beauty you hide ? why is that so beautiful..,,, i take it the last klance fic is a multiverse fic???? literally everything good in one????? i saw hints of royal au as well? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you do us so good i literally love you sm just reading those small snippets just Ahhhhhh..... i love them they sound amazing i just wanna exist in them yk... 😭😭😭😭😭😭

FHDSKJFHDSFKJ IF YOU THINK THAT IS GOOD JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THE LAST SECTION!!!!!!!!! but at the same time i’m surprised by myself too... me @ past me you ain’t bad! shdfkds I legit have no recollection or writing the snippet you sent but i’m glad you like it 😩😩 and thank you for being so kind always ilysm too 😭❣💓💖💫💞💘❣💖

oh and to answer your question (oops almost forgot) yes it’s a multiverse fic!! that’s why i thought it’d be good for the last one ehehe. just shoved in everything i loved and made klance in love in them!!

hope you’re treating yourself!! loveeeeeee your c.r. <3