#just a straight up vent

[chaoticdaydreamingmess]

Vent! ↓

(not a pleasant vent I just really need to vent somewhere somehow I guess this is where I'm choosing? Feel free to ignore this.)

Anybody else have to deal with a disabling fear of leaving their house? (Not really asking just talking to air I guess.)

I've got IBD (irritable bowl disorder) aka my intestine are littered in scars, destroy themselves, and can make me have immense pain when I underground any kinda stress. This can make you flare up and bleed out your butt. It makes you need the washroom more than you should and the stress. All you need is the stress and it can make you bleed again due to your insides just overworking themselves I guess.

I have gotten to the point I literally can't leave the home without going to the toilet and then having a panic attack due to both not being ready in time and fear of a "lack of bathroom accident" and on top of that it always makes me hurt to panic, feeling my intestines shaking almost, basically my insides vibrating when I get this worked up. I hate that I do this I hate it so so frishing much.

My mom implied me to join her to pick up grosuries which yeah normal simple task. But I'm still stuck in the bathroom feeling like death for being panicked.

She said I didn't have to go now after I texted her practically begging and trying to find a compromise aka something maybe equivalent like just sitting on the steps untill she gets back or using our exercises thing, but I feel like bashing my head on the wall. The only thing that keeps me from things like that is fear of being caught or scolded for it. I'm still just standing in the bathroom stuck to leave so I'm typing this.

I hate everything about this so much.

Trying to get myself to leave my washroom since I'm not on the toilet at the moment. Doesn't help I haven't eaten anything today, my mom doesn't know that yet. She'll be upset when I tell her.

Can't help the mild fear she'll ask me to go when I leave the bathroom. Hate it hate it hate it.

Wish this would all go away and I could go back to enjoying car rides with her. Because the worst part of all this is I actually used to enjoy looking out the window and just playing make believe.

I have an appointment next week that I HAVE to go to so I can only hope I'll manage then... Hate all of this.

Sorry for the vent I just need to put this somewhere even if I fear it.

[kiddokori]

they gave link a fuckjng hoverboard

[dabruzzy]

I wish something more people understood about Moomin and Snufkin's relationship is that the pining is mutual. Snufkin keeps coming back to Moominvalley every spring for a reason. He also admires Moomin and wants his approval, that's where his inner conflict comes from. And Moomin isn't nearly as clingy as people think. In fact, he tries his best to avoid showing Snufkin how much he misses him, even though Snufkin can tell, and never asks him to stay. Also saying that their relationship could never work completely ignores the character development they got in the last two books which would've led to a healthier relationship between them had they reunited.

[cold--carnage]

in my humble opinion as someone with multiple cluster b disorders including bpd, the aim shouldn't be to "cure" it at all, because trauma cannot be cured and this is not an attainable goal, which sets an unfair precedent for us ourselves as victims of the disorder. the aim should instead be to heal and rehabilitate to a point where you can cope with the behaviors you've developed that are connected to the trauma. healing will happen, but the desire to "cure" all "sick" people is not a helpful stance to have and is way more damaging than it is helpful. hurt people don't need to be "cured" so much as just understood and helped. "curing" us is very much a medicalized idea that bases a person's worth on their ability to function. you and your struggles will always be valid, whether you heal or not, whether you're "cured" or not <3

[syscultureis]

Plural culture is yeah we mask really well, no one can tell

Literally every single time we've come out to someone about the system (/srs)

"Yeah I kinda had an idea"

Or

"Ohhh that makes sense now actually"

Like guys please ;-;

We are trying to pass ;-;

And we've had people ask us if we have DID without us even mentioning it like come on

[gelatosushix]

Can we just talk a little about the Inuokko dynamic??

I find it fascinating how their relationship dynamic can be summed up in Inumaki Toge would die for Yuta Okkotsu, and Yuta Okkotsu would hands down kill for Toge Inumaki.

Yuta has never had someone care so strongly about him that his life would become a priority. He’s always had people who would rather see HIM die, including himself as at one point he believed he doesn’t have the right to live (not a good life mind you, but live in general). Not even Rika embodies that. Yes, she will keep Yuta alive at all costs, but not by sacrificing herself, but by destroying anything that could harm him. Then, this boy comes along who thinks Yuta is so important, so precious, that thinks Yuta has so much to live for and see that he would rather sacrifice himself so that Yuta can live. Because Yuta is precious and important, something that no one has ever showed him before.

Then we have Toge. Toge who is feared because he could end someone with a word. Toge who is forced to stay silent, separated from others, never connecting enough to ever create the kind of bond where someone would look at him and think “I will protect you. I will give you everything.” Toge goes by his life alone, because up until he met the second years and Yuta, he was alone. Then, Yuta comes along who adores Toge so much that nothing is out of the question - he looks at Toge and doesn’t see a monster, a curse, a killer. No, he sees a sweet little rice ball that needs to be protected and taken care of, that needs to be shielded at all costs. If people look at Toge and say he can kill people because he is a curse, Yuta looks at him and thinks I will do the dirty job myself because Toge is too pure for that.

That’s it. That’s the dynamic.

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[jewreallythinkthat]

I don't know who needs to hear this but:

The British Mandate of Palestine =/= the State of Palestine.

There has never been a Palestinian state. That's not trying to justify anything or whatever, it's just the fucking history. The area now known as Israel and the Occupied Palestinian Territories was once "Judea" the homeland of the Jewish People, a self governing region/country/area. It was then colonised by multiple empires, the Roman Empire, the Byzantine Empire, the Arab Caliphate, the Ottoman Empire the British, Empire. None of these are a Palestinian states; these are all the result of imperialist colonising ideologies.

There could have been a self determined state in 1948 but instead there was a war because proto-Israel was attacked and defended herself.

If you need to rewrite history to justify your hate, maybe you're not as progressive as you want to think you are.

Edit: as I've said many times, I'm very pro 2-state solution. This post is not about that but I will not have this being used by other people to straw man me and lie about my beliefs

[charrfie]

[tsukimefuku]

A big thing in CPTSD is unlearning the hyper sensitivity to slight changes in other people’s behavior towards you. Every tiny change is immediately read as “is this person upset with me?” when in reality it’s usually nothing or the reason has nothing to do with you.

[screamingwiththewolves]

If the lodgers don't forgive Jekyll, for something that is debatably his own business, then I riot.

[bi-dykes]

“What do you mean there’s still so much biphobia in fan spaces? Bisexuals are like some of the most popular characters!”

Yeah, and they either get treated like this:

Or like this:

“Biphobia isn’t real” neither are your braincells

[papermonkeyism]

Ugh.

I should do an adult thing and have a frank and honest conversation with someone, but how do you say "so there was this thing five years ago that you did/said, that was probably nothing to you, but felt harshly punishing to me, and I should have said something at a time but I didn't, because I didn't want to make a scene in front of couple mutual friends, and I'm a fucking doormat, but I couldn't afford to lose a friend and I thought shutting up and dealing with it by myself I'd get over it eventually and it would be worth keeping the one friendship I had at the time, but it's been years and we barely even interact anymore because neither of us communicate, and when we do interact these days I'm more often than not left reminded of that one time five years ago that you probably don't even remember but has been there for me, looming, and I feel honestly angry and hurt and this is bad for my blood pressure, but I'm also afraid of your retaliation but is it really worth it anymore if you don't even wave at me when you see me crossing a street because 'I probably wouldn't even notice anyway *smiley face*' "

[deostyx]

I say this as an artist who has been trying to make artists friends for years, we really need to get better at finding community with other artists again, instead of sticking to one fandom and to stop interacting once they/you leave it.

Fandom friends are just that, they are fandom dependent and though not required to make them more than that, some of yall need to see that the option exists.

I still follow people that made amazing fanart for a fandom i left ages ago, but i still love to see what they are working on and supporting them on it.

Shit ill say it, ive followed artists that were still beginners at the time, just because i was curious to see how their style would develop. And it pays off, the amount of pride i feel to see people working on a skill and growing is fucking beautiful and profound to witness.

“Thats parasocial” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF!!! THAT PERSON HAS 300 FOLLOWERS ITS NOT PARASOCIAL TO FEEL HAPPY FOR THEM THATS JUST KNOWING A PERSON AND LIKING THEM!!!!!

And if you want it to feel LESS parasocial ACTUALLY COMMENT!! i Know that sounds backwards but its better than you feeling that way and then lurking about it when the art only has like 3 notes. Girl what!!!!!!!! Say something!!!! You could have an art friend RIGHT NOW IF YOU JUST SAID SOMETHING

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Yea im straight up not having a good time over here

[pepperpixel]

The adventures of goofball mcchucklefuck part 1, aka, art dump of myself / evil me stuff that I’ve drawn over the past 2 years! That I either never finished or just never posted! I’m gonna try my best to sort these in chronological order. But… I kinda forget exactly when I drew a few of them. Mostly it should all be correct tho.

This part featuring! Quite a bit of vent art! And a few sketch pages from my first forays into bars! Cuz… I was sad 2 years ago lol… and desperately searching for friends.. not all of the art is going to be venty tho I promise!!!