#just a reminder I am literally transgender

[fels-fantasy-hoard]

Uuuh I just checked my followers here and found a literal Nazi and some Terfs so just a not so friendly reminder

FUCK NAZIS

FUCK TERFS

I support all Jewish and trans people. They have my love and I’ll never stop fighting for their right to live freely and happily.

I have zero tolerance for bigotry of any kind and if that makes you uncomfortable then unfollow me and fuck you

If I accidentally reblog some homebrew that is offensive - please tell me. I always want to learn and grow and I want everyone (except bigots) to feel welcome here

To all my trans siblings, Jewish friends, and poc that follow me, I love you and I hope you have an amazing day <3

[angelicdonuts]

I hateeeee this fandom so bad there are like 10 people in this fandom total who I can interact with I hate this shit so fucking bad dude I hate being so on guard dude like what the hellllll what the heeeellllllllll oh my god

[cepheusgalaxy]

"don't care about what people think of you!" is not practical advice when you're trans btw

[icyg4l]

PAC: How has being openly queer changed your life for the better?

Hello beautiful people! Happy Friday and Happy Pride Month! As part of this month’s Pride Month series, I am going to continue on with the topic with this new PAC. I don’t want to waste too much time so please select your pile. 🙏🏽

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

pile one: i feel like you may be transgender or went through a massive glow up as you came into your identity. being openly queer has allowed you to acquire more knowledge through life. life’s experiences have beaten you down but you used those experiences to your advantage. you became older, wiser, more poised. your chart could be saturn ruled (capricorn/aquarius/heavily aspected by saturn). the scars of yesterday strengthen you. i feel like people compliment your physique a lot. it’s taken you a lot to feel comfortable with that. and lastly, being openly queer has welcomed you into some strange/taboo places where you feel open! you could go to anime conventions or underground clubs a lot because of this. you did not lose anything, pile one. you only gained more life experience.

cards used: king of swords, five of cups, six of wands, the moon, three of cups, three of swords, six of cups, king of pentacles.

pile two: i am channeling the energy of damon from pose. you could be a dancer or just have the energy that makes people feel loose. i don’t think you could ever turn your queerness off. people could always point that out in you. this made you a target but that never stopped you from being you. you make people feel inspired. you would be really good at being a mentor for the queer youth. you have this unshakable confidence that could make you do anything. you also have the gift of gab. i am channeling the energy of rolling ray lmaoooo. the things that you’ve gone through have made you take life so unserious. it’s the constant celebration of life that makes your queerness so unique.

cards used: judgment, six of wands, king of wands, seven of pentacles, page of cups, the hierophant, three of cups.

pile three: you exude this devil-may-care energy that is so addictive. it’s so sexy! you literally don’t care! this has made you take pride in your identity. it comes off as annoyingly rebellious to some folks but your people know that’s really you. everyone is not used to your energy. it’s blunt and it’s rich. it reminds me of rihanna and elektra evangelista. your queer identity is intimidating to some people. but you take ownership of it & carry it so well. this is why so many people have a crush on you. i feel like i’m talking to a lesbian but if not you could just present ultra-feminine. you know exactly how to spice up the family dinners and you give off a motherly energy. you use it wisely though because everyone can’t have access to you.

cards used: ace of pentacles, ace of swords, queen of cups, queen of pentacles, eight of cups, the devil, six of pentacles, nine of cups, the emperor.

pile four: you have this introspective nature that makes people think. you remind me of a james baldwin kind of person. your thoughts regarding queer theory and queer rights need to be shared with the world. being openly queer has quite literally taught you. you are living the practice out. it may have taken you some time to come into your current identity. but once you came out, you had this come to jesus moment as many others do. being openly queer has taught you about how to love yourself and others properly, the importance of compassion and leadership. you could be an active leader in your community. if not, you need to be! your voice deserves to be heard without a doubt. you could be the voice of reason, pile four.

cards used: two of cups, eight of cups, king of cups, the emperor, the sun, the magician, page of cups, the hierophant, wheel of fortune.

[ofmdrecaps]

11/13-14/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Con O'Neill; Nathan Foad; Kristian Nairn; Anapela Polata'ivao; Vico Ortiz; Jes Tom; Zayre Ferrer; Petition Status; Articles; Transgender Awareness Week; Love Notes;

Hey crew! So I am trying VERY HARD to be better about alt text across all the platforms, and it's taking way longer for me to get things out because of it. If anyone has a good idea on how to do those more easily will you please let me know? I do want to try to be more accessible (and I know the Repo is absolutely not terribly accessible at the moment). Anyway-- thanks Crew! Happy Friday!

= David Jenkins =

Chaos Dad out partying!

Source: King Malisz's Instagram

Apparently (and I didn't know this, so thank you to the folks who explained to me wtf was going on) apparently CIS is considered a slur on twitter and will literally make your posts un-retweetable, and so Dad decided to go full hog and cause Cissmegeddon the other day. Props to our crewmates who helped him irritate the shit out of Elon.

Source: David Jenkins Twitter

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys is going to Australia in April! Apr 30, 2025 at the Princess Theatre in Brisbane you can see the legend in person! Are you in town then? Get tickets here!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter

He's also announced all his UK & Ireland Tour Dates for 2025! You can buy tickets here!

Source: Rhys' Instagram

Reminder about new Atlanta show at the Helium clubs Nov 29, 30, and Dec 1st! Get tickets here!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rhys Darby (@rhysiedarby)

Source: Rhys Instagram Stories

= Taika Waititi =

Interior Chinatown is almost here! Remember to check it out on November 19th on HULU! Taika was out doing lots of promos with the crew!

Source: Sthanlee's Instagram

Source: Variety Instagram

Source: Jerabraham

= Con O'Neill =

Con is going to be in a new sitcom SAS Rogue Heroes! Thank you to Irene Adler for finding this! Sun.co.uk Article.

Source: Irene Adler's Instagram

= Nathan Foad =

Nathan sent us a bathroom selfie-- and ALSO shared this awesome review of Voyage of the Damned (the book he narrated) by _brainbowie_ on instagram! OH AND JUST BY THE WAY-- IT WAS NOMINATED for Audible's "Best Audiobooks of the Year 2024 in both the SFF list AND the Top 20 overall!!"

ANNND if you have read it and would like to help Voyage of the Damned out -- please put a review up on Audible! Let the world know how much Nathan's voice should be cherished! In addition - if you haven't already, please help Nathan and the author out by voting for it on Goodreads for 2024's Goodreads Choice Awards!

Source: Goodreads

= Kristian Nairn =

Kristian was kind enough to share a playlist featuring his love of synthwave!

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

= Anapela Polataivao =

Source: The Guerilla Connection Instagram

BTS of The Guerilla Connection!

Source: TheGuerillaConnection

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico had a great time at their first stand up comedy show! More random IG stories of it!

Source: Vico's Instagram Stories

= Jes Tom =

Jes Tom is out at Little Secrets Comedy tonight at the New York Comedy Festival if you're in town! November 15 @ 10:30 pm - 11:30 pm!

Source: Jes Tom's Instagram

= Zayre Ferrer =

Thank you so much to @adoptourcrew and Zadry Ferrer for highlighting this awesome Fellowship award awarded to our dear writer Zayre Ferrer! They were named one of the #inevitablefoundation's 2024 Visionary Fellows!

Source: Zadryg.bsky via @adoptourcrew

== Petition Status ==

Great news! Up to 90,150 signatures! To all our new OFMD fans out there, have you signed the petition yet? Thank you luci5459.bsky.social for sharing! (and @adoptourcrew for promoting!) https://www.change.org/p/save-our-flag-means-death

Source: Luci5429.bsky.social

== Articles ==

More articles featuring OFMD and Zayre Ferrer! Thanks @adoptourcrew!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Bsky

== Transgender Awareness Week ==

Happy Transgender Awareness week crew! Sending all my love out to our trans siblings out there <3 Especially know, please know how much we see and love you, and we have your backs no matter what comes, okay? Wanna learn more about Transgender Awareness Week and how you can help be a better ally? Visit GLAAD's website.

Source: Glaad Website

== Love Notes ==

Wow, now as you can tell, a lots gone on the last couple days! Especially with Rhys! Jeez! Everything seems to be ramping up, which is pretty great -- I don't know if you all are feeling the energy too, but it's nice to see some good things going on in these uncertain times. I know things are still rough right now, and some of you are itching to get out and make a difference. Please know that if you are feeling up for it now, it's totally okay to do that. Find things to do in your local community, find out how ot help online-- whatever you feel comfortable with. --and if you're not quite ready yet, that's okay too. I took two days off work this week despite having a huge project to finish, because I got sick, and my brain told me it needed a break, that there had been too much. I know not everyone has the luxery of doing that-- but if you do, please take some time if you need it. I've probably mentioned this before, but something that always bothers me about the phrase "You can't help anyone else if you don't help yourself!" is that that's not entirely true. YOU CAN. You can do all sorts of stuff without helping yourself, and by tiring yourself, and burning yourself out. But it's not sustainable, and you can't do it forever. You are so very strong, and I bet you could help so many people, and family and burn brightly until there was nothing left of you-- but that's not what any of us want. We want you to be okay on the other side of all this-- and sometimes that means taking a break even when things feel like they just can't wait. We care so much for you lovelies. Please care for yourselves too if you need it <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by You Are Another Me (@you.are.another.me)

Source: You are another me Instagram

[renthony]

I know some people need/want it, so this isn't to shit on them, but as an intersex nonbinary person, I fucking hate nonbinary positivity that focuses on assigned sex. I fucking hate it so goddamn much. It mostly just makes me feel like utter dogshit.

All you have done is remind me that even in transgender spaces I am going to be reduced to my incorrectly-assigned sex by literally everyone. And if they can't figure out what it is, they'll spend an inordinate time either trying to figure it out or harass me until I disclose it.

[animentality]

Thoughts on this post?:

https://www.tumblr.com/animentality/64152073250/abc-newsman-proves-danger-of-allowing-transgender?source=share

thanks for reminding me to delete that post I made in literally 2013 when I was 15 because it doesn't reflect who I am as a person anymore.

is this supposed to be a gotcha?

are people supposed to be born woke?

I am amazed you managed to even find this post with like 6 notes, where I legitimately asked people for their opinion on the subject because I was unsure about it and I had certain taught biases that I hadn't learned to abandon yet.

it might amaze you to know that I once told a guy he'd make a great wife when he mentioned he liked cooking.

this was in 2012.

how cisheteronormative of me, right?

but you were all so woke in 2012, weren't you?

you never said anything that was not PC as a teenager.

you never told edgy jokes or said stupid offensive things.

you were born perfect, I'm sure.

it's not like I'm proud of the dumb stuff I said.

but I didn't start identifying as nonbinary until I was 18, and I didn't start identifying as trans until I was 21.

I was raised by an older mother, not a gen x er or a millennial, but a baby boomer, whose inherent biases still sometimes surface in me when I least expect it.

I was raised Catholic.

I had JUST STARTED PUBLIC SCHOOL, after spending literally 6 years in a fucking Catholic school.

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND transgender issues, nor did most people in 20 fucking 13.

how the fuck could I

my mom to this day doesn't know what the fuck nonbinary or trans are, and I identify as both.

how was I supposed to know?

I'd never even met anyone in the LGBT community at that point, nor had I realized I belonged there either.

I literally didn't even know I was pan at that point, or that I was nb/trans myself, or how I felt about most political topics.

that's why I ASKED.

and I said the wrong things. yeah, I did.

but no one had taught me the right words.

and in that post, no one bothered to explain it to me either.

I had to learn that over time.

and guess what?

I'm still not perfect now. I'm still going to make mistakes because times change, as they always do.

and all we can do is try and forgive people who are trying and doing their best, and remaining open minded to things they don't understand right from fucking birth.

but by all means, do search my history to your hearts content.

honestly, I kinda wanna see what dirt you find because this was an interesting look at the kinds of things I thought in 2013.

I can look back at myself and see how far I've come.

this post was interesting to read for me because it was wildly off mark, it misgendered trans women, and it lacked political, historical, and social understanding...

and so?

yeah?

it's offensive. it's bad.

and I didn't know any better.

but lol.

people learn things. people change their opinions.

if you people spend all your time digging up dirt and trying to cancel people for who they were, rather than who they are, or who they're trying to be... I have news for you.

your existence is pointless and your efforts are meaningless.

but I am flattered you did such a deep dive, anon.

please do find more and send them to me.

I'd like to know what other gotchas you can yank out of my ass.

I used to be on Facebook in 2011 before I deleted it in like 2013.

see if you can find anything there.

I used to write cringy poetry. it might be funny to read now.

[sehtoast]

How are you able to like Homelander and not condone his actions at the same time, without feeling crappy? This sounds accusing but I’m asking bc I’m struggling with it. I know ppl who do the same with characters, but I’ve had an unwelcome fixation on him come out of nowhere and I feel sick and guilty bc I feel like everyone will think I’m some kind of freak or something. I’m very much anti-sa and other gross stuff esp as a victim but I still feel like I’m being hypocritical or something. I’m sorry for the weird message but I feel like I’m losing my mind

The short answer is that he’s fictional.  Think of… I dunno, an antagonist in media of a different form (let’s go with anime).  I was a naruto kid growing up, so let’s use Orochimaru for an example.  My guy was on some fuck shit through the entire show. Snatching bodies, murkin’ Hokages, wild experiments, all that shit with Sasuke, and so on.  People still liked him regardless because he was a cool character despite the bad things he’s done.  Some people may have even found him relatable in certain ways.  I feel like it’s the same concept here.

You don’t have to feel bad about enjoying fictional characters, no matter how awful they may be.  At the end of the day, they’re fictional and their actions have harmed nobody in real life.  Their actions may mirror that which does harm real people, but they themselves have not dealt real harm to real people.  Enjoying them does not mean you condone their actions.

I’m also extremely anti-SA, and am a victim of it myself, but I still find a lot of love and appreciation for Homelander’s character– but this isn’t hypocritical.  My love for him doesn’t come from the fact he has perpetrated that act, nor should it come from that.  I love him as a character with the bottom line that he is… extremely complex.  

I’ve said it for years now, but I think Homelander is a compelling tale of the dangers of commodifying the human soul.  He is an example of how awful someone can turn out if you deprive them of humanity with the goal of creating a product.  People are not products, we are not a means to an end, and we certainly should never be treated that way. He was, and this is how he turned out.  He’s a take on the cyclical nature of trauma in a lot of really interesting ways as well.

I find him relatable from a standpoint of my own traumas and being transgender.  Episode four of s4 revealed that I have a jarring amount of trauma that mirrors his own to some capacity.  I’ve always suspected these things, and I’ve had headcanons since the first season, and having them confirmed reminded me just how much I’ve latched onto this character because of it.  Homelander experienced some degree of sexual abuse in the labs– and I wager there may have been worse than simply being called ‘squirt.’ Homelander was subjected to physical torture and locked in a room where his mind slowly fractured, all while being conditioned to never seek escape otherwise he’d be too devastated from disappointing the scientists or losing their ‘love.’ 

I have experienced SA, I was locked in my room with nothing as punishment (my 'bad room'), had very little privacy and next to no access to boundaries as a kid, I was put through physical pain very often by a sibling (my furnace), I was reared and conditioned to have a fear of disappointing others so severe it made my blood pressure drop into the danger zone a couple times as a kid– and still has similar effects as an adult.  I’d literally pass out, have panic/anxiety attacks, vomit, etc.  I also know what it’s like, as a trans man, to have been raised and reared for a life that was designed for me, but was not me.  I was lucky enough to find my way to the person I needed to be; Homelander has not and likely will not ever be able to do so.  In all of the aforementioned, I have a lot of empathy and compassion for him that combines with my fascination with his complexity.  There were a lot of things in my life that should have pushed me down the road to be an awful person, much like the things in his life did. But I had a handful of people to guide me toward better things.  He didn’t.

But I see myself in there nonetheless. Homelander was the first time I ever saw so much of my own trauma on display in a single character.  I’d love to hug the man and tell him he’s enough, show him the humanity he was and continues to be denied, and so on.  When I realized that means that I would, in turn, do that for myself if I only viewed myself through a lens that wasn’t my own, my life changed.  This character changed my life.  I know I thirst-post about him a lot, but my love for Homie runs a lot deeper than just finding him attractive, you feel?

A fictional character doesn’t have to be one of moral high ground or superiority for it to be okay for you to enjoy them.  You can enjoy characters who commit horrible acts. This does not make you someone who condones horrible acts.  I was initially pretty embarrassed to admit I like Homelander as much as I do, but I slowly realized that it does not make me a bad person and it should never be used as a gauge to find out how ‘moral’ someone is or not.  People like Hannibal Lecter, people like Thomas Hewitt, Joffrey, Albert Wesker, Cletus Kasady– any number of fictional characters who have an ugly record or have done horrific things.  We do not assume someone is evil because they like Hannibal, nor should we do the same for people who like Homelander.

At the end of the day, do what makes you happy. If exploring Homie is something you would have fun with, do it! Engage in media, learn tales of caution and tragedy– stories make us human.  You are not inhuman for enjoying Homelander and his tale.  In fact, I would argue you are very human because of it.

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 8

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls)

"there are so many things wrong with this man i feel a kinship with him. Also the neurodivergency"

Miles "Tails" Prower (Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise)

"he's a young child who is incredibly autistic (maybe a technology special interest, tail wagging could be interpreted as a stim, he is a fox and foxes have a gene variant linked to autism, etc) and incredibly humble and loyal to sonic. however he does feel like he may be a burden to him, as discussed in sonic frontiers. T: sonic, am i a burden to you? S: wow, and how did you come to this well thought out concern? T: whenever there's a crisis, i'm either running away or standing on the sidelines! you're always rescuing me, and all i do is follow you around! in the adventure era, there was some character development where he learned to grow into his own person (well. you know what i mean) kinda (he saved an entire city which isn't why he's relatable it's the growing into your own person thing) he was also bullied for having two tails before he met sonic. sonic saved him from his bullies which is how they met 👍 he is literally me"

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

"- emotionally repressed - socially awkward - ace"

Ford Prefect (The Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy)

"he’s very trans and autistic coded at least in my mind, and he has the fashion sense of a loser transmasc lesbian. he cracks stupid jokes all the time, changes the subject with absolutely no warning, he’s simultaneously the most likable and most annoying character in the book, he’s so me"

Shaun Murphy (The Good Doctor)

"My brother got me into The Good Doctor. The only difference between my personality and Shaun's personality is my crippling social anxiety. I'm completely serious, my behavior when prior to developing social anxiety was identical to Shaun's (by which I mean I once shouted "I'm sharpening my pencil" in second grade completely unprovoked because I had no concept of it being socially inappropriate). Genuinely if I didn't have social anxiety, I would constantly be in a state of "hes just like me fr" and it would make complete sense to anyone who knows me and also watches The Good Doctor. Also keeping notes on flirting and keeping track of when people are flirting with each other around your workplace, which is a hospital, is a massive mood. That whole thing is basically him going around to colleagues and saying "this colleague was flirting with you! :D" and refusing to elaborate, then leaving. I love it and if I wasn't terrified of judgement I'd do the same thing."

Sonic (Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise)

"Transgender. To me. Also very sarcastic. Idk how to explain, my brain is too smooth and he just me"

[subspaceember]

I've been in and out of therapy a lot over the past few years. due to depression and anxiety especially but also for a number of other reasons. There's a critical flaw with the whole thing that just, it feels so horrible and makes therapy feel utterly useless for someone like me. I was today reading up on cPTSD again, and reminded that I probably have it, probably not surprising, I am a transgender woman who is disabled and stuck living with unsupportive family in the rural US south. I was reading through the way to like, help cope with cPTSD, and it was all the usual stuff. Go outside and get exercise, eat better meals, surround yourself with good community, find groups and people you feel safe to talk about things with. Reading through all that it just feels so, utterly tone-deaf to the reality if you're faced with something like cPTSD, or depression, or literally anything related to mental health and I've heard therapists say the exact same thing. That going outside is the magic bullet that kills your depression, and that's just not been the case for me.

I don't doubt that those things would help but it all feels so surface level because you can say that to me all you like, but I am not able to do any of those things. There is no housing I will ever feel safe in, because it is dependent on my work and output, which I cannot rely on, or on others generosity which is almost worse. I can't have good food, because I cannot work hard enough to have it, it's a nightmare. I don't feel safe outside, I can't get anywhere and there is no community here to protect me. I just. There's no real point to this, I'm just upset about it. About the shameless telling people to do these things when there are no programs, no support, no nothing if you can't hold a job, and then it just becomes an inescapable cycle, in which I either wind up dead, in jail or a hospital (same difference), or on the street.

[oysterstrudel]

I Saw The TV Glow is one of the only good movies I have ever seen in my life. Most films I see I am only ever thinking about the acting, or cinematography, or the political messaging, or some such thing. I have to activly fight to emotionaly engage with anything, to forget my physical body sitting there looking at the screen and the vast gap between the problems I face and the problems characters on screen tend to face. But this film reached right through me. Noticing myself didn't ruin the immersion because there was no difference between me and the screen, I was Owen as Owen was Isabel. I started crying 30 minutes in and didn't stop until 15 minutes after it ended.

My whole childhood I never really cried except when angry. My mother tells me I never cried as an infant/toddler at all. But lately something will set me off and I'll start crying and crying. I'm more mentally healthy that I used to be in many ways but I am more than aware that this is because I have given up on one of my deepest childhood desires.

When I was 12 I wanted to run away and transition when I turned 18. I didn't know you could transition as a minor, I didn't know that most 18 year olds are still financially reliant on their parents, I didn't know my parents would still see me as a child, and I didnt know that I wouldn't have overcome my shame by then.

When I was 15, I discovered the online trans community and began identifying as "transgender." I learned that people my age could medically transition. I thought that I would transition right then, before my sixteenth birthday, become a "youngshit", even get bone changes from her, go back to school after the pandemic as a new person. Once again, I greatly underestimated my shame, greatly overestimated my courage, and how much my parents respected my intelligence.

And I've come up with a myriad of other unhinged plans plans including literally stealing hrt from random trans people, befriendind trans people and having them sell it to me, befriending steroid using gym bros and somehow getting it through them.

And now I'm 19 going on 20 and I have no plans left. The "deadline" for the previous 2 plans has passed. I've never spoken to anyone about being trans. I have "gotten used" to my body much more then previously and I have stopped myself from thinking about this topic. But every once in a while something reminds me of it and I just start crying.

Anyways, I have no idea what to do. No idea what to do that is easy and not terrifying that is.

And you may be thinking "19, that's not that old", but I KNOW time passes quickly and I KNOW nobody is coming to force me to do the things I want to do and I KNOW that easily, easily I could get to the point where "ohh I'll never pass I'm too old" stops being an ironic hyperboly and starts being a real factor in this decision, like the point where I will genuinely never pass to cis people after transitioning and will not get the same changes to my face, and I will have people in my life who know me as one gender who might abandon me, and will have buried the real me too far down to get it out, and I would rather not do that, I would rather transition while I'm still a friendless 19-year-old thank you very much. Anyways I know this was mostly about me and not about the contence of the movie, maby I will post about that later bc I am becoming less eloquent and forgeting how words are spelt the more I write.

[tittyinfinity]

I've really enjoy following you this past year and I wanted to ask for insight on something because I respect your viewpoints. I want to stay on anon because this is something that has caused me a lot of internal pain and i am not confident enough to go public about it. I started calling myself non-binary back when I was 22 (I'm 32 now) and due to autism + polycystic ovarian syndrome I've felt at odds with "cis womanhood." my inability to wholly conform to what is expected of me is something I have grappled with my entire life. I have regularly felt that I am not a "real woman," thus adopting the label. My genuine attraction to women as a bisexual person is perhaps the only thing that links me to womanhood. There are times where I have felt that I don't have a gender at all whatsoever and that trying to apply one to myself is only a cause for stress and anxiety. I have no desire to transition and there are individual aspects of estrogen I have enjoyed experiencing. Lately i have been feeling at odds with the nb label, and as I interact with more and more trans and transitioning non-binary people, I feel like I am a fraud taking up space. I sometimes wonder if I am in spaces that are not for me and I certainly don't want to claim any labels that are not mine to claim, especially as trans healthcare is constantly under attack in the US and that is something that does not directly affect my rights. I love and value the trans friends that I've made but I worry that I may have been calling myself a term that I don't have any right to use, as though I am a "tourist," or something along those lines, trivializing meaningful labels from an already heavily oppressed community. I don't want to cause any harm or pain to the trans people I care about by adopting a label that doesn't fit. Should I just go back to calling myself a cis woman who struggles with conforming to traditional patriarchal expectations of womanhood?

anon i love you. these are literally the same exact same thoughts i had before coming out as agender. I felt like the only thing that was connecting me to my "womanhood" was the oppression, sexism, and misogyny i faced as one. and that made it so much harder to give up the "woman" label because it felt like I was somehow abandoning and/or invalidating those experiences. it's ESPECIALLY harder when you're dealing with issues related to your reproductive system, like you and I both. what you're feeling is very valid and normal. but our bodies and our outside experiences are NOT what defines us.

i have to constantly remind myself "you only feel like you don't belong in trans spaces because your heavy experiences with misogyny still brand you as a woman against your will."

almost every single transgender person has had those thoughts of "I feel like my gender doesn't fit me, but I still experience things as This Gender so therefore I would be 'intruding' on trans spaces." please please do not feel like you're "invading" any space.

You are not hurting anyone else or taking resources away for just being yourself.

You can allow yourself the space to be something other than what society has labeled you, as a "woman."

And when you do allow yourself to have that space, it is SO FREEING. it feels AMAZING!

there is no problem whatsoever with throwing away a past label, because it's like throwing away any past label of yours – you're not the same person you were 10-15 years ago, so why keep identifying that way anyway?

I don't know who you are, but I'm already excited for you to begin your journey. Be who you want to be. BE YOU. I love you I love you I love you.

Go be YOU.

[tepkunset]

Top Surgery Journey Part 1

16 was the worst age of my life. My mother was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer. We were evicted from our house and had to move again, this time to a shitty thin-walled apartment with drug-dealers for neighbours. I was half-way through my first year of high school, where I was bulled for what might as well have been a glowing neon “I have autism” sign strapped to my back. And I realized I liked girls—that terrified me almost as much as the threat of losing my mom.

My father used to tell me and my brother that the two things we were not allowed to be were gay or clergy. He said things like “all gay people should be put on an island” – your typical homophobic rhetoric. As an autistic child, I took him literally, and thought that if I was gay, he would discard me on an island to die. Living in Nova Scotia, it’s not like there’s a lack of islands around where he could have done so, in my mind. That probably sounds ridiculous to read if you’re neurotypical, but it’s what I genuinely thought at the time.

It wasn’t until my early 20’s that I started coming out to people as liking women. By that time my parents had divorced and I started looking after my mother and brother. I became more accepting of my sexuality, especially thanks to the encouragement from online queer spaces. And when I became more accepting of my sexuality, I started to question my gender as well. There were so many things that trans/non-binary people spoke of that I could identify within myself; things I never questioned before, or just assumed everyone felt that way. It prompted me to think about all the things that made me feel outside of my gender growing up, such as the intense jealousy I felt over my mother’s double mastectomy.

I know, right? It’s true though. She survived cancer, and all I could think of was how much I wished I could be rid of my breasts, too.

I was late in puberty. It didn’t start to hit until about age 15, so I was very new to the developing breasts I hated so very much, at the same time my mother was getting rid of hers. But when they came, they came in heavy. I was genetically cursed with a large chest, and it made shopping suddenly a nightmare for me, because I preferred the men’s section. I started the habit of buying clothing twice my size to hide my body. I hated looking at myself in the mirror, because I felt disgusted with what I saw at best, or like I didn’t want a body at all at worst. I stopped going swimming; something I used to enjoy. Despite my family history, I never did breast exams because I couldn’t stand to think about them in such detail. One of the reasons I hate exercise in general is because I hate the sensation of my breasts moving so much, even when packed in sports bras. All because I know now, having been professionally diagnosed over a decade later, I have gender dysphoria.

(Insert here a reminder that not all transgender people have gender dysphoria, and that doesn’t make them any less trans. I am purely speaking about my own experiences!)

It’s only been a few years that I’ve opened up about my nonconformity to the western gender binary to the people I know in real life. Most of my close co-workers are 50+ years old cishet white women, who while mean well, are quite ignorant of gender diversity. I’ve been fortunate to only have to deal with one co-worker who did not respond well to my request to stop calling me “yes missy”, “yes girl”, “yes ma’am”, insisting it was just what they were taught from their generation and that I needed to respect that. But my manager has been very supportive, and made it very clear that it’s expected I be treated with respect, too. (She also added a rainbow flag to her email signature with the line “I respect inclusion”, which I thought was cute.)

My top surgery is two weeks away now, and I’m so excited to get it done that I think about it before bed every night. Knowing that soon I will be going to sleep on a table and then waking up with a flat chest is thrilling. Thinking about how much this is going to change my life is thrilling. I have worries about the surgery itself of course—I’ve only been under anaesthesia once when I was very little; too little to remember. I’ve never been on high pain-killers before. I worry about the drainage tubes and looking after them. But I figure these concerns are probably very normal, and I have to remind myself that people every day are going through the same surgery I’m about to go through. The surgeon who will be operating on me has almost two decades of experience. The clinic I’m going to in Montréal has a good reputation, from what I’ve been able to hear from others. There’s reason to believe things will go well.

[classicintp]

i wish i could prove this without violating someone's privacy and getting in trouble for it but one of my co-workers who is very.. uhh. let's just call him ignorant for now, changed his last name legally from his birth dad's last name to his step dad's last name because of family drama that is none of your business. His first name is super common and is shared with 2 other people here so we call all 3 of them by their last names and over the last 6 months while everyone was continuing to call him his birth name (because, look, honestly, it really is difficult to adjust to changing someone's name you've all but carved into stone in your mind and memory) I have gone on a pissing-people-off-by-correcting-them crusade. It was hard for me too, but I changed the habit, and so everyone else can too.

he doesn't even really care if others adjust to it, it was a personal issue and if everyone else continued to call him by his birth surname he said it wouldn't affect him because legally it's different and that's what matters to him, but to me names matter so I correct people and had all of his work credentials painstakingly changed even amongst opposition from higher ups. And it's not even strictly on the principle of contemporary transgender issues, names have always been very very important to me before I was even aware transgender people existed (i live in the southern us, not my fault), but I'll be god-damned if I didn't risk my job and health to bitch and complain DIRECTLY in favor transgender issues because of it. After over 6 months of making whole rooms uncomfortable with loud interruptions, hands slamming on tables, and direct eye contact correcting people from referring to this long time coworker from name 1 to name 2 and this same motherfucker tells me today he doesn't get why a transgender person (not the term he used) thinks they can "force" others to call them by a girl's name just because they think they're a girl (same for trans men and boy names but that wasn't his specific rhetoric)

just imagine this.. imagine someone saying something that is ignorant, not specifically hateful just.. they don't get it, they don't get it in a way that has unfairly bred hate and they don't see it. they feel uncomfortable and due to that discomfort they say this stupid thing and

everyone at the table just kinda stares at him quietly, almost confused I think; though he didn't make anyone change to using his new name, he has expressed appreciation to everyone that they had changed, and expressed appreciate to me for putting in the work to get his work credentials updated. He'd been working there for a decade, in the past he has expressed he felt respected.

i am probably the only progressive at the table, i think literally everyone else is a trump supporter, fox news loving, tucker carlson mentee and they all have endured my relentless lectures reminding them over and over to respect this man and his decision to change his name. they all see my effort swept under the rug by this utterly stupid comment because they want to agree with him, they really do, they hate "THE TRANS AGENDA" and YET they know they can't say anything because they have been made well aware by me for six mother-fucking months how this deadnaming issue has affected a cishet, how trans issues aren't actually some bogeyman agenda and how they affect everyone. They rolled their eyes and ribbed me about it but they still have such a slight modicum of respect for me because of the experiences they've shared with me on the job site and my absurd work ethic that for 15 full seconds they see it now, they see what the FUCK I've been talking about. 15 seconds is so short but when 24 people suddenly go quiet and look at you, it becomes an eternity, and he felt that weight, and he said "oh" and everyone said "uh huh" or an uncomfortable "haha" or some other such murmurring sound while I just kinda shook my head a little bit in the utmost frustration and i hope it made just a little bit more fucking sense to everyone.

[catcinnabunbun56-blog]

I remember my old school friends reaction to me saying i was a femboy. He asked how i could be one because (and he proceeded to say something along the lines of) "how can you be one? You don't have a penis. Girls can't be femboys"....

Mind you, he was well aware im transgender. I think people genuinely get caught up in gender essentialsm and assigning people based on their most basic genetalia that literally anyone out side of their expectations or attraction is discarded.

This friend was very into femboys with strictly "male" bodies (didn't help most femboy art he liked was of white small skinny men. I am a chubby, curvy, heavy chested black transmasc...yeah...) which meant i was not apart of his ideal image.

I hate the way american history, culture, religious ideals (Christianity particularly for its massive affect and shape of the modern U.S. and common confliction with human sexes being midol, gender, queerness, etc.) and patriarchy has allowed people to look at strangers and need to define the most intimate parts of them by what genitials you think they have. I think that really contributed to why my friend couldn't fathom me a femboy. My body isn't what he expects. And i know this type of view leaves me and other trans, intersex or just different bodies in the dust.

For example, even having a "female" body im not typical in health. Hormonal hell left me with tits so huge that i might genuinely need to size down for my health if they keep growing, a period that dissapeared in 8th grade and rarely makes guest appearences, a near absent fertility and a body that takes all my fat and pours it into my tits, tummy or thighs. Im no typical "woman", im not typical "transmasc", hell i don't even wanna be considered a trans man all that much. I think people are better off being treated as unique balls of flesh. Even medically where grouping is vital, you dont need to treat people as essentially this or that when it comes to their identity or personality. Body does shape mind, but mind comes before body when it come to how we respect others.

To me, trans and intersex bodies are holy things that remind me im not alone. And it hurts when others wish to forget those bodies exist. I just think its interesting how easily my friend dropped my existence when i wasn't what he expected me to be.

[turtle-bun]

Actual things said between me and my brothers as TMNT quotes Pt2: TMNT bois see Across the Spiderverse!

((SPOILERS AHEAD AFTER THE LINE BREAK!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!))

Part 1

Rise!Mikey: *excited stimming and screaming* I WANT THIS MOVIE INJECTED INTO MY VEINS! THE ART WAS SO FUCKING COOL!

Rise!Donnie: *excited stimming but in a monotone voice* I apologize for the person I’m going to become now because this sound track is now my entire personality.

---

12!Mikey: See Across the Spiderverse is so good and is also a huge middle finger to Marvel comics for all the shit they’re putting my boi Spidey through!

12!Leo: Oh yeah, one hundred percent! This movie feels more like how Spiderman is then the actual comics as of late!

12!Mikey: See Marvel! Spiderman can be fucking happy for once!

12!Leo: *chuckling* You got beef with Marvel?

12!Mikey: *riled up* Oh I got so much fucking beef with Marvel! Talking bout how “either Peter Parker’s happy or Spiderman is happy. One always has to be fucked over.” Like get out of here with that bullshit! You saw how happy Peter B. Parker was with Mayday and he’s still Spiderman? FUCK YOU MARVEL IT CAN WORK! PUT ME IN THE GODDAMN WRITTERS ROOM!

12!Leo: *laughing* You think you can write better?

12!Mikey: My 10k word Spiderman fanfic on ao3 with over six thousands kudos begs to differ! SQUARE THE FUCK UP MARVEL!

---

03!Raph: I am so fucking glad they didn’t have a love triangle in this movie. Honest to god I was like lowkey worried about that.

03!Mikey: Oh yeah, for sure. Thank god Hobie was actually cool.

03!Raph: He was so FUCKING cool! Oh my god! Like I know everyone and their mother was fawning over Miguel but honestly I could give less of a shit about him cuz FUCKING SPIDER PUNK! HOLY SHIT!

03!Mikey: *laughing* Is this a “I don’t know if I wanna date him or be him” kind of situation?

03!Raph: It’s a: “I don’t know if I want to slow dance with him at prom or steal his entire gender” type of situation!

---

Bay!Mikey: You guys been hearing this bull shit some people are saying about Spiderverse?

Bay!Donnie: *groaning* Don’t fucking remind me. People are stupid and it’s all over my fucking TikTok and Twitter!

Bay!Leo: Which one? The pissy conservatives complaining about “forced diversity” and “woke” culture? The extreme leftists making it about racism when that literally was NOT the point of the fucking movie? Or is it the transphobes bitching at the mere INSINUATION that Gwen Stacy could actually be trans? LIKE AND IF SHE FUCKING IS?! WHAT THEN CUNT?!

Bay!Raph: You know what? Fuck it! Piss them off even more and in the next movie just full on fucking say it! They can’t handle subtlety so might as well throw it in their faces since they’re complaining about it so much!

Bay!Mikey: Shit, I mean Miles is bi in the comics, he can come out as well!

Bay!Donnie: *super serious voice* Hello Miles Morales, who is bisexual and my love interest, I, Gwen Stacey, am a transgender woman!

Bay!Mikey: *T posing* Omg, Gwen Stacey, who is a transgender woman and my love interest, I, Miles Morales, who is bisexual, appreciate your willingness to trust me enough to share these private conversations with me even though you have absolutely no obligation to do so!

Bay!Leo: *absolutely losing his shit* Oh god it’s like it’s being written by a fucking AI!

Bay!Raph: The first 10 minutes of the movie are them fixing up the dimensional bull shit, then the rest of it is group therapy and coming out stories!

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87!Leo: *crying, sobbing, screaming*

87!Mikey: How did you NOT know it was a two parter? It said it at the beginning of the movie!

87!Leo: EXCUSE ME FOR GETTING ENGROSSED IN THE SPECTICAL OF EVERYTHING!!!