#just a few words to people who have recently seen me at my worst and i am so sorry for that rkjbgsejkrb

[snnynatural]

with  this  day  being  so  stressful with the elections,  i  wanted  to  say  a  few  things.  my  mental  health  has  been  shit  this  entire  year,  especially  this  october.  but  with  my  birthday  coming  up  on  the  12th,  i  wanted  to  give  some  shoutouts  if  that's  alright.  <3

my  meg  bun  out  there  somewhere  -  idk  where  you  are  bitch,  but  you  know  you're  getting  this  shoutout  one  way  or  another.  first  of  all…  we've  known  each  other  for  like….  four  years?????  WILD  AF.  we've  been  through  a  hella  lot  together.  ESPECIALLY  this  year.  but  you  know  what?  we  came  back  stronger  than  ever  and  i  am  so  fucking  proud  of  us.  now  this  has  been  the  roughest  year  for  me.  especially  october,  but  you've  been  there  while  i  cried  typing  to  you.  not  to  mention,  you  have  your  own  shit  as  well.  we're  going  through  it  bestie,  but  we  are  going  through  it  together.  honestly,  i  feel  like  we  are  closer  than  before  and  i  just  fucking  love  you  so  much.  i  adore  you.  i  smooch  your  forehead.  i  cradle  you  in  my  arms.  you're  so  incredibly  important  to  me  and  that's  not  changing  bitch.  deleted  or  not,  YOU  IS  HERE  IN  MY  HEART  <3

@gccdgraces  -  MY  RIDE  OR  FUCKING  DIE!!  my  day  one  baby  guurrll!!  the  way  you  have  been  there  for  me  through  so  much  bullshit,  i  can't  thank  you  enough.  i  don't  fucking  deserve  you.  you  have  seen  me  at  my  worst  and  never  left  my  side.  i  admire  you  so  fucking  much.  your  brain  is  so  fucking  creative,  i  don't  know  how  you  fucking  do  it.  but  i  continue  to  watch  in  awe.  you  are  truly  one  of  my  best  friends.  one  day,  i  will  see  your  face  in  person  and  i  will  tackle  the  shit  out  of  you  alright????  my  fucking  best  friend.  my  fucking  angel.  my  platonic  soulmate.  i  don't  know  how  i  can  survive  this  hellsite  without  you.  not  talking  to  you  for  a  month  was  TORTURE  BESTIE!!!  let's  never  do  it  again,  alright???  NEVER  AGAIN!  there  is  a  lot  more  that  i  can  say  about  you,  but  we  will  keep  it  short.  i  love  you.  you  are  my  ride  or  die.  and  we  will  continue  together  on  this  crazy  thing  called  life.

@offorester / @stanfordprepped / @he11fireclubtm / @vamp1r3barb13  -  SAMANTHA!!  SAMMY!!!  SAMMIKINS!!!  SAMMYOOOOO!!!  bitch  wtf,  we've  known  each  other  for  two  years  now??  i  could  be  wrong.  i'm  not  good  at  math.  either  way,  i  fucking  love  you  to  death.  we  both  are  always  in  a  bad  mental  head  space  at  the  same  time,  but  at  least  we  go  through  it  together  kJBRESGB  you  are  too  fucking  precious  for  this  world.  you  care  so  much  about  everyone  and  give  your  all  constantly.  i  don't  know  if  i  have  ever  met  someone  so  fucking  kind  until  i  met  you.  you  remain  one  of  my  besties  and  i  promise  to  never  leave  your  side  <3

@wavrlynatural / @safestkittykatintown  -  my  little  bumbling  bee!!!  i  had  no  idea  how  close  we  would  get,  but  i  am  so  glad  that  we  did!!!  i  can't  even  imagine  life  without  you  now!  you  are  one  of  the  kindest  and  sweetest  souls.  heart  of  fucking  gold  honestly.  throughout  this  hiatus,  you  have  sent  so  many  check  ins  even  when  i  didn't  have  the  energy  to  respond,  just  know  it  meant  the  fucking  world  to  me.  it  still  does.  know  that  i  ain't  going  anywhere  bb  <3  you  stuck  with  me  for  LIFE.  literally  the  alex  to  my  sonny.  i  hope  you  know  just  how  much  i  am  obsessed  with  the  little  world  we  created  together  and  our  friendship.  like  dude…….you  are  so  important  to  me  now.  that's  not  changing  ever.

@broknfeed  -  i  know  you  are  on  a  hiatus  bitch  BUT  HOLY  FUCK!!!  the  fact  you  were  there  when  i  first  joined  indie  and  you  were  preggers???  and  then  you  disappeared  because  parental  duties,  but  then  came  back  after  idk  how  many  years  and  looked  for  me???  DUDE!!!  THAT  IS  SOME  WILD  SOULMATE  SHIT  RIGHT  THERE!!!  the  fact  you're  one  of  my  day  ones  is  wild  af  to  me!  but  i  am  so  fucking  grateful!  also  how  you've  always  checked  up  on  me  during  my  hiatus??  i  have  so  much  love  for  you  that  i  could  just  absolutely  BURST!  i  am  genuinely  so  glad  we  are  back  in  touch  and  just  continuing  to  grow  in  our  friendship.  if  only  we  weren't  hours  away  from  each  other,  i'd  tackle  you  kjrebsgjkbekrg  i  love  you  so  fucking  much  my  bean! 

@bloodsalted / @safetypinned  -  dixon  my  lil  spicy  vanilla  gjresbgkrejg  can  i  just  scream  about  how  much  i  love  you??  cause  i  will!  i  was  so  nervous  when  we  first  started  talking,  but  now???  i  still  get  anxious  kBRKSEJGEJ  why??  cause  you  are  so  fucking  talented  and  i  just??  like  bitch??  how  tf  do  you  do  it??  outside  of  your  talents,  you  have  done  nothing  but  welcome  me  with  open  arms  into  your  life  and  we  have  learned  so  much  about  each  other.  not  only  that,  but  you've  been  there  for  me  when  i  have  been  feeling  shitty  and  i  am  so  fucking  grateful  for  it.  you  have  no  fucking  clue.  you  are  a  literal  gem  and  i  will  fight  anyone  who  tries  you.

@sacrisaint -  ASTRID!!!  tbh,  i  have  no  idea  how  we  got  here.  one  day  you  were  sending  silly  comments  about  sonny  and  meg,  then  the  next  thing  i  knew,  you've  been  literally  going  to  bat  for  me  even  when  i  tell  you  not  to.  from  watching  that  silly  tire  movie  together  to  now,  i  hope  you  know  how  much  i  fucking  adore  you.  i  do  not  take  this  friendship  for  granted  one  bit.  the  shit  you  have  done  for  me????  like  i  just??  i  love  you  to  bits  and  pieces!!  idk  what  i  did  to  be  blessed  with  your  friendship  but  i  am  so  grateful. 

@qapsiel -  sarah  sarah  sarah………..  the  way  this  last  month  has  made  me  feel  like  shit,  but  the  moment  i  came  back???  you  were  the  first  to  get  me  cracking  up  so  hard  with  our  blessing  womb  bullshit.  the  joke  that  will  never  die  and  is  forever  ours  <3  your  writing  is  phenomenal  and  you  are  just  out  of  this  world.  you  getting  me  to  laugh  really  helped  immensely,  you  have  no  idea.  i  love  you  so  very  much  and  i  will  keep  torturing  you  with  tiktoks  <3  CAN  NEVER  GET  RID  OF  ME!

@benbraeden / @hervelle / @gankmonsters  /  your  bajillion  blogs  -  lilly  lilly  LILLY  <3  HOLY  FUCK.  i  remember  meeting  you  when  i  first  wrote  minah  when  i  first  joined  the  spn  community.  you  were  always  so  kind  to  me,  but  now???  i  feel  like  we've  continue  to  grow  closer  and  i  can  never  be  any  more  grateful!  no  matter  if  we  talk  a  lot  or  not  at  all,  you've  always  been  there  when  i've  been  feeling  like  shit  and  you  know  i  am  always  there  willing  to  fight  bitches  who  try  you.  i  adore  you  and  your  pure  heart.  you  have  nothing  but  love  for  people  and  it  is  so  fucking  admirable.  and  i  am  so  grateful  that  you  would  take  time  out  of  your  way  to  check  up  on  me.  i  don't  deserve  your  love  yet  here  we  are.  i  adore  you  immensely  and  that's  not  going  to  change.

@murderdeals  -  my  lovely  little  ava!  i  feel  like  we  have  gotten  closer  the  more  we've  been  writing  together  and  i  can  say  i  am  loving  every  minute  of  it  <3  i  also  appreciate  you  reaching  out  when  i  was  feeling  my  lowest.  you  have  been  nothing  but  sweet  to  me  and  all  i  want  is  to  smoosh  your  face  and  give  you  forehead  kisses  cause  i  just  fucking  love  you  mkay??  you  deserve  the  world  and  i  can't  wait  for  everything  we  create  together.  gonna  soar  from  here  bitch.

@salvatoraes  -  RISSA  <3  THE  OWNER  OF  MY  FUCKING  KIDNEY!!!!!!!!!!  i  don't  think  my  love  for  you  will  ever  stop,  bitch.  we  are  going  through  some  tough  shit  irl,  but  at  least  we  are  going  through  it  together  rebgskebg  i  can't  even  keep  count  on  how  long  i've  known  you,  but  i  know  that  i  am  so  fucking  grateful  for  you  every  single  day.  i  love  everything  we  have  created  together  and  i  love  the  chaos  that  we  bring  amongst  each  other.  and  i'm  sure  you  will  be  owning  another  part  of  my  body  because  i  will  give  you  everything  tbh.  you  are  THAT  important  to  me  okay?  one  of  the  best  people  in  the  entire  fucking  world  and  that's  not  going  to  change  ever  <3

@westwingsolo  -  a  my  love  <3  forever  grateful  that  i  have  met  you.  your  words  always  have  me  crying  and  always  bring  some  lightness  to  my  soul.  idk  how,  but  when  i  tend  to  feel  down,  you  tend  to  pop  out  of  nowhere  and  just  know  what  to  fucking  say.  i  love  you  to  the  moon  and  back  and  i  will  always  be  rooting  for  you  because  you  are  just  that  fucking  amazing.  constantly  giving  you  the  biggest  hug  ever!! 

[cllightning81]

Set Up [CL16]

Summary: You meet Daniel Ricciardo at a Red Bull athlete sponsor event and become friends. When you finally accept his offer to go to a Grand Prix, he sets you up on a date with a fellow driver.

Pairing/s: Daniel Ricciardo x Australian!Red Bull Athlete!Reader (Platonic), Charles Leclerc x Australian!Red Bull Athlete! Reader

A/N: Had the idea that the reader is a speed skater because why not. However there's only one slight mention of that at the end so you can imagine the reader to be any athlete.

Word Count: 1.4k

Masterlist Charles Leclerc Masterlist Tag List Coming Soon

Public events were always the worst, but that came with being an athlete for Red Bull. It was yet another one of their sponsor events that all athletes had to attend so here you were in a fancy black tie dress surrounded by lots of sponsors and lots of other athletes that also probably didn’t want to be there. 

The dark blue dress hugged your figure in just all the places that it needed to. Accepting a flute of champagne from the server walking around the room, you settled down at your table in front of your name place. Looking at the names around the rest of the table ,you sighed as you didn’t recognise any of them. 

Ten minutes later, people started sitting around the table. The names on the table help you find out their names without having to have an awkward conversation. Scotty James was the first person to sit down. Now that you’d seen his face, you knew who he was. You’d spoken to him a few times at past events. 

“Oh hey Y/N” He smiled, and you looked over 

“Evening Scotty. No wife this time?” You asked, and he shook his head 

“No, she's at home. Wasn’t interested in another one of these events” You nodded while taking a drink of champagne. More people started to sit down, and throughout the night, you started hitting it off with Daniel Ricciardo.

~~~

A few months after the event, Daniel had invited you to watch a Grand Prix after staying in touch. Being a Red Bull athlete meant that cameras were on you from the second you walked into the paddock. Daniel is waiting at the side for you with his signature smile 

“Y/N L/N” He cheered, holding out the syllables as he walked over. You smiled, giving him a hug 

“Daniel Ricciardo” You laughed while walking with him. 

“So I’ve been thinking” Daniel hummed, and you turned your head to look at him 

“That’s not a good thing” You joked, and he rolled his eyes 

“You were complaining the other day that you saw some tyres getting more attention than you have recently, but I came up with a plan” You raised an eyebrow, looking at him

“That doesn’t sound like a good idea, and I don’t even know what it is” You muttered, and he laughed 

“I’ve got a friend. He’s also a driver, but he’s also very single, and I think you’d be a perfect match together” He explained 

“I am not going out with Lando Norris” You warned, and he laughed 

“No it’s not Lando” He shook his head

“You got Max and Kelly to break up?” You joked, and he rolled his eyes, walking into the garage with you 

“I did not. Do you trust me, though?” He asked, and you looked at him sceptically 

“Not really no” You shrugged 

“Never mind I’ll take my date back then” You rolled your eyes 

“Who’s this date with then?” You asked 

“You’ll see. You don’t happen to have that dress from the night we met, do you?” He asked 

“No, not in Monaco” You shook your head 

“Do you have any like that in Monaco?” He asked 

“Kinda? I’ve got a red version of it. Well it’s not similar in any way, but I’ve got a red long dress in my apartment. But the blue one’s back in Melbourne” You shrugged 

“Wear the red dress then. You’ll be picked up at seven tonight. That’s all I’m saying” 

“You don’t even know where I stay?” You frowned 

“I was hoping you’d tell me that detail” You laughed, shaking your head. 

And so at seven o’clock there was a knock on your apartment door. You grabbed your purse, walking over to the door and pulled it open to see the person you least expected standing at your door. Neither of you said anything as you just looked at each other. 

“Woah” He mumbled, causing you to smile slightly 

“Woah yourself” You hummed 

“You know, when Daniel said he was setting me up, I didn’t know what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t you” He smiled. 

“I could say the same thing Charles” You smiled, taking his hand as he held it out for you. You walked down to his Ferrari with him. Smiles covering your faces as he helped you into the car. 

“So where are we going tonight, Mr Leclerc?” You asked as he got into the car as well. 

“Well I obviously had to find somewhere for both our diets, but there’s a little restaurant that I quite like next to the harbour, so I figured we could go there?” He suggested, and you nodded 

“That sounds like a good plan” You smiled, looking over at him before turning to look out the window at the views that were passing. When arriving at the restaurant, Charles got out of the car first before rushing around to help you out. Passing the keys off to a member of staff that would park the car safely for him. 

Getting seated was easy. Charles had made reservations asking to be hidden in the back of the restaurant so that you could enjoy yourself without having to have fans asking either of you for autographs or pictures every couple of minutes. Or the worst thing. Fans taking pictures without you realising getting the worst angles. You both ordered your drinks and food, opting for non-alcoholic drinks not even because Charles was driving but because your diets didn’t really allow alcohol. 

“So why Monaco?” Charles asked 

“I’m actually only here on holiday. I live in the UK” You confessed, and he nodded 

“Why Monaco for a holiday then?” He chuckled, and you smiled 

“Daniel invited me to the Grand Prix and after meeting him at a Red Bull athlete event. I actually got into the sport, so when he offered, I couldn’t say no. I’d like to end up retiring in Monaco, though. Sell both of my houses and just live here” You explained and he nodded

“It’s lovely here. Although I may be a little biassed but oh well” You let out a laugh 

“So you’ve got a house in the UK, but where’s your other?” He asked, leaning back in the chair 

“Melbourne obviously” You laughed, and he nodded

“Should have seen that coming” You nodded 

“Let me guess. House in Monaco and house in Italy” You guessed 

“Spot on. Hotels everywhere else” He nodded, and you chuckled. The conversation flowed easily about your different training and different lifestyles but also things that you had in common. 

“I’ve always wanted a dog but with all these competitions and travelling it just never felt right but when I retire in Monaco the first thing I do except find a home is get a dog” You nodded and he chuckled 

“Just out of curiosity, what kind of age do people in your sport retire?” He asked, tilting his head a little 

“I’ve got about a year left realistically, but I’m aiming to reach the 2026 winter olympics before I retire” You sighed 

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to ask it like that” He winced a little, and you shook your head 

“No, it wasn’t you. Don’t worry. I just hate that I had to pick a sport that requires such early retirement. I love skating, and I think I’ll always skate, and obviously, going at speed is very enjoyable” You both laughed at the statement 

“Maybe we should sign you up for a hot lap. See how you enjoy our kind of fast” You smiled 

“I would very much enjoy that. I know for a fact you go about two hundred miles an hour faster than I do” You chuckled, and he frowned 

“How fast do you go?” He asked, and you shrugged

“About thirty-five miles an hour? Roughly. Give or take depends on the day, where I’m competing, and who I’m competing against” You shrugged as his eyes widened

“Seriously?” He asked, and you nodded 

“Deadly” You smiled 

“Maybe I’ll have to come watch you work one day” He smiled, and you tilted your head

“That would be so much fun getting you on the ice with me” 

And so you did. During the break between a couple of races, you got Charles onto an ice rink and skating with you. He wasn’t enjoying it as much as you were, but it made for a great second official date. Something you’d never tell Daniel just yet.

Tag List

@thewannabewriter

@lozzamen3

@barcelonaloverf1life

@hiireadstuff

@mxdi0

@f1kenzzz

@evie-119

@ahgase99

@velocesainz @talksoprettyjjx

@scarletwidow3000

@thegrapejuiceblues1982

@jasons-little-princess

@tellybearryyyy @zabwlky1999 @callsignwidow @chocolatepoetryfun @lwstuff @destinyg237

[syoddeye]

ill-advised

simon x f! reader | 1165 words cw: simon being a gross creep, terrible advice, slimy internet culture, bad usernames, unsolicited nudes a/n: wrote this silly thing on my phone. lightly edited. been thinking about how simon would be the world's worst agony uncle. enjoy a few easter eggs.

Simon doesn’t have a God complex. No. He leaves that to the Simulation 5 streamers who build complicated dungeons beneath their character’s cottages, forcing others to labor on paintings or crochet projects to sell and support their captor’s livelihood. Not that he…watches those. No, no. He’s simply seen more than his fair share of depravity. Some of it at his expense, some at others, and more than a chunk of it dealt by his own two hands. He knows how the world works. How people work. He knows his shit, plain and simple.

So when his schedule allows, he logs on after midnight. His username and password are two alphanumeric strings, but people recognize the cluster of digits and letters. Wait for his comments. Follow his account. Send him stupid digital gifts, some useless currency to dress up his default icon. The amount increases daily, as does his following. His own little cult.

He doesn’t care about the numbers. Not really. He just loves dishing out his honest opinion, and nobody’s safe.

AN [Advice Needed] Family forgot to invite me on a trip, expect me to go last minute Hi, it’s like the title says. I (25 M) live across the country from my parents, siblings (all all adults), nieces, and nephews. I am the only one who lives on this coast, but I try to visit twice a year. I recently reached out to my brother to see when he thinks I should come visit in June and suggested some dates. I know it’s only February, but I want to save money on airfare. He responded: “Isn’t that when we’re going to Hawaii???” It was the first I heard of it. It turns out my parents invited my siblings to Hawaii and planned a family vacation without me. I confronted my parents about it, they swore they invited me too then said I could send them my share of the bill for the resort and book a flight. Like it’s no big deal. I can’t afford to go and I don’t want to go, but I feel really pressured. And sad! They forgot me! Who am I, Kevin McAllister?

> 35J0G39GH6: Find out the resort name. Cancel the reservations. Cease contact.

Within seconds, a dozen upvotes. A minute later, a hundred. Up, up, up. And the replies? Oh, the replies. He smirks at the cracked phone screen.

>> michaelEthelcaine: Fucking brutal as always >> c0y0t3fug1y: LMAO it’s this simple OP - this dude is never wrong >> patcemetery79: I DID THIS BACK IN 2003 FOR A FAMILY REUNION. A REAL RIOT! HAVEN’T BEEN INVITED TO ONE SINCE@ HILARIOUS!!!!!! I LOVE YOU 35J

Simon receives a fair share of downvotes, too. Negative comments. He doesn’t give a shit, but some of them are fucking hilarious.

>> grasshopperwhirlpool: Not funny. Be better than this asshole, OP. I’m sure it was a simple mistake. >> thewildrumpussy: really mature advice. who shit in your coffee?

Every few weeks, a morally righteous do-gooder encourages people to mass-report him, and he gets a slap on the wrist. The idiots come out in droves after some of his more choice replies, like worms after a heavy rain. The most recent offense?

AN [Advice Needed] My husband (35 M) forgot my (33 F) birthday My husband of three years forgot my birthday. No flowers, cake, or gifts. When I came home from work he asked about dinner. I lost it, turned around, and left. I’m at my sister’s house now (and she started baking when I called and told her what happened!) but he won’t stop blowing up my phone. He says it’s because he’s been so busy but here’s the thing: he forgot last year too. I really love him but I’m tired of this treatment.

> 35J0G39GH6: Have your friend take you home between 3-4 AM. Cut his brake lines. Go back to her place. Wait for the inevitable.

>> 6polyesterbutthole9: i dont care if this is illegal its funny af >> passtheaggression: Hand to god, you need your own forum dude.  >> gordonramsme55: Where are the mods on this??? This shit is going to get someone killed. Report this psycho. >>> puffalo: Agreed I think this breaks Rules 3 & 5, reporting now >> austrianPrincess: not saying i did this but when my boyfriend’s brakes failed, i got a big check, OP!  >>> gordonramsme55: This is what I’m talking about!  >>> 6polyesterbutthole9: get that check >> tech60nyneme: WOW someone check this guy’s crawlspace. reported and blocked

That one earns him the most severe ‘punishment’ yet: A month-long commenting ban. No skin off his nose, he's deployed days later, anyway. If anything, the radio silence winds his followers up, their excitement a palpable thing when he gets out of forum jail. He rewards them with another series of blunt, to-the-point pieces of advice. 

His absence makes one particular fan particularly hungry, and a little desperate.

He’s no stranger to unsolicited dick and cleavage pics from his followers. They flood his inbox, giving him a side hobby of delivering pithy degradation the sick fucks seem to love. Saves the best for his private collection. 

But then he gets a picture from some cute thing with a comment about him being her favorite person on the Internet. Knelt all sweet in front of her mirror, haloed by a ring light, white lace barely hiding the goods. His eyes snap to her tits—where his ridiculous username is scrawled in sharpie. There’s nothing to critique except maybe the laundry in the background of the shot. Tugs his cock to it, then clicks her username to check her comment history, and wouldn’t you know. Her location is public on her profile. She’s a couple hours away from her idol and doesn’t even know it. 

>> 35J0G39GH6: Perfection. >> YN10282022: Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d reply. >> YN10282022: You know, a few months ago, you gave me good advice about my creepy boss. >> YN10282022: I posted about the stuff he’d say to me. >> YN10282022: It took some time, but I was able to record him. Sent it over to his wife on their anniversary. When he accused me, I told him HR was getting the next copy. >> YN10282022: I got a promotion and a raise, and sent the file anyway. >> 35J0G39GH6: Good girl. >> 35J0G39GH6: I’ll be in your neck of the woods in a week for work. >> YN10282022: Really?? I’d love to meet up! >> 35J0G39GH6: Probably shouldn’t. I’d advise you against meeting me. >> YN10282022: They do say you should never meet your heroes. :) >> 35J0G39GH6: Shouldn’t meet strangers off the Internet, either.

She still sends him the address of a cafe. It matches one he finds on her social media an hour later. She seems to be a frequent customer. Simon grins at his screen, the sole light source in his dark room. He taps back to her pretty picture.

She looks like an angel.

[tommydarlings]

Little Love Letters | c.s

pairing: dark!neighbour!mean!dom!carlos x sub!reader

warnings: psychotic behaviour, obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, pure manipulation, inappropriate usage of ropes, usage of a knife, smut, cnc, dacryphilia, forced blowjob, gagging, brief mentions of killing somebody, brief mentions of stalking

w/c: 3.1k

summary: After receiving multiple creepy letters by an unknown stranger, you scarily run into the arms of your sweet, spanish neighbour carlos — sadly, you ran into the worst embrace you could have possibly ran into.

check this out: my masterlist <3 // my ko-fi to support me! <3 // my PayPal to support me! <3 // my Patreon to become a member! (get access to +50 works) <3 // Save a Life carrd made by me! <3

Feeling lonely in your 20's is probably something a lot of people feel. The problem is, that literally all of your friends — who are the same age as you — are most definitely not lonely, they are either in a relationship or already married, one of your old Highschool friends just recently gave birth to her little babygirl.

And you are not even able to remember the last time when you talked to a man that wasn’t your gay best friend or your neighbour carlos.

Carlos, the kind Spaniard next door was very sweet and also quite attractive in your opinion, but you still never really felt the specific spark between the two of you when you crossed paths and talked for a bit.

But even though you had no partner and only a few friends that you barely saw since you’ve moved, you didn’t feel that alone.

Especially not since some unknown stranger — or maybe even 'secret admirer' sent you letters, every. single. day.

At first, you thought that it was a joke and ignored it, but after you’ve received the fourth letter, you knew that this was not a joke, this was serious.

Of course it scared and confused you, since nobody expect for your three friends know your new address, but at the same time, it wasn’t that bad.

Sometimes, this mysterious stranger filled the letter with sentences like,

“Each time i see you, you only get prettier.”

“You are the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, my love, ever.”

“I wish I could kiss you right now beautiful, wish I could feel your lips on mine.”

But sometimes they brought tears out of pure fear into your eyes,

“One day I will get you into my hands and I will never let you go, I promise you that y/n.”

“You will be mine, if you like it or not my darling, you will be mine.”

“I would kill for you, I would do absolutely anything for you y/n, anything you want me to.”

You gulped as you read those words, sometimes even wiping some tears away since some of his letters were filled with dark and psychotic sentences like that.

And since you were so scared — and also since it got everyday only worse and worse — you ran to the only person that you knew in this new town, your neighbour Carlos.

When you knocked in his door on a cold night at around 9 p.m., Carlos looked at you like you were crazy since you were only in a lose pair of jogger and a thin tanktop, making him quickly step aside and lead you into his cozy and especially warm home.

“Cariño, what are you doing here, don’t you have a jacket or a coat? C'mere,” he told you, placing his hand onto your back and leading you into his house, “It’s so cold outside, you’ll probably catch a cold y/n.”

But you only shook your head before you sat down onto the big couch in his living room, biting your lip before he got on his knees in front of you, being almost at eye level with you now.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Carlos quickly raised his brows before he scanned your body with his eyes, rough palms reaching out to grab your hands, turning your arms around and glancing at your unharmed skin.

You sighed before you pulled your arms away from his touch, briefly making him gulp. And if you haven’t lost your mind already, you could have sworn that you’ve noticed that he looked rather mad at you for a quick second as you basically threw his hands away, but you were probably just seeing things by now.

After letting out a long sigh, you shook your head, “N-No, I’m not hurt, don’t worry Carlos,” you spoke up, making him release a long breath, “I guess I’m just a bit…scared,” you admitted as you felt tears building up in your eyes, quickly trying to blink then away as the Spaniard furrowed his brows,

“Scared? Of what?” He asked you, lightly stroking your legs with his big palms now, listening to your voice explaining everything to him,

“It’s just, there are those extremely weird and scary letters that I’ve been receiving for a while now-”

Carlos immediately interrupted you, “For a while? Cariño, for how long? Why have you never told me,” he asked you in a strong Spanish accent.

“About a month now-”

“A month?” The Spaniard raised his brows, caressing your legs, “You should have told me y/n.”

You gulped before you shook your head and muttered a quick 'it's nothing' before you went on,

“Of course I felt a bit…watched as I got the first letter but the letter was actually filled with…really nice and sweet words, so I just smiled before I threw him away,” you continued your story, swallowing down some tears while you felt Carlos squeezing your knees almost like he was mad about the fact that you threw them away,

“But after some while the letters got…worse.”

Carlos tilted his head to the side, shaking his head before he spoke up with furrowed brows, “What do you mean when you say worse?” He asked you, thumb caressing your cold skin now,

You cleared your throat, “Well, they got creepier, sometimes this unknown stranger wrote things like, 'I would kill for you' or 'I am the only one you’ll need for the rest of your life,” you told him before you sniffled, quickly wiping a single tear away, making Carlos change his almost too serious facial expression in a matter of a second.

“Oh no, cariño,” he immediately spoke up as he noticed your wet eyes. Carlos raised one of his hands and wiped your tear away, cupping your cold cheek with his big, warm hand afterwards.

“Don’t cry, I know that all of this is very scary for you,” he mumbled reassuringly, “If you don’t feel save enough in your house, you can stay at my place tonight,” he suggested as you looked down at him, “I will keep you save, I promise,” Carlos told you with a sweet smile, making you laugh into his palm.

Carlos briefly laughed along before he stood up, towering over your sitting figure now, hand brushing your hair out of your face now,

“I will always keep you save, mi cariño,” he told you with more of a serious tone, only a tiny smile covering his lips now, making you quickly furrow your brows before you smiled up at him,

“Thank you, Carlos.”

“Oh,” he chuckled before he made his way to the kitchen, “No need to thank me.”

You wiped some more tears away before you stood up, Carlos standing in front of you now with two glasses filled with probably very expensive red wine, making you gasp.

“Only one glas, cariño, c'mon,” he smiled at you, basically pressing the glass filled with the alcoholic beverage already in your hand without giving you a chance to say anything.

You chuckled and flashed him a wide smile before you mumbled a quick 'okay', both of you saying a quiet 'cheers' before you emptied your glasses, Carlos closely watching you while you just enjoyed the wine.

“Wow,” you spoke up as you handed him the glass, “That was a really good one, not gonna lie…definitely needed that one,” he laughed at your statement, cleaning the glasses while you just stood in the big kitchen, slowly blinking your eyes.

Carlos turned his head and looked back at your slightly stumbling figure. And if you weren’t hallucinating, you could have sworn that you saw him smirking at you.

You gulped before you released a deep breath, smiling in his direction, or at least you tried to smile in his direction, “That w-was a s-strong one,” you chuckled before you heard Carlos chuckling as well, making you furrow your brows as you felt like the entire room was spinning around you, groaning as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“Oh really?” He asked you, honestly, you were very surprised that you were even still able to understand him.

You swallowed before you touched your head, desperately trying to stop the spinning, “Y-Yeah, a very, very s-strong one, c-carlos,” you whined out, gulping a second time.

you blinked another time, and another time — and this time, your helping neighbour stood right in front of you.

“C-Carlos, I don’t feel,” you breathed out as you felt like you were on the brink of fainting, “so g-good,” you finished your sentence, quickly falling straight into the arms of the Spaniard, passing out in his warm embrace.

Carlos sighed after he caught you, “Each time I see you, you really do get prettier mi cariño.”

- - -

Waking up with a headache, with the feeling of a bit of dizziness and ropes around your wrists and ankles, was definitely something new for you.

Desperately, you tried to get free by tugging on the ropes that are attached to the wooden bedposts but no matter how hard you tugged on them, I didn’t work, there was no chance for you to escape any of this.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Carlos suddenly spoke up, making you lift your head and look with wide eyes at your Spanish neighbour. You gulped before you spook up with a trembling voice,

“C-Carlos,” you nervously breathed out, furrowing your brows as he stood next to your tied up figure, fingertips now gently running up and down your bare leg since he only left you in your underwear. “W-What is g-going on?” You asked him as you felt his hand creeping closer to your barely covered pussy.

Carlos only grinned down at you before he answered your question, “Let’s play a little guessing game, alright?” He tilted his head to the side, waiting for your answer.

Suddenly, Carlos pulled a little but sharp pocket knife out of his pocket, opening it, clearly wanting to make sure that you know how serious he is about his 'little guessing game', so you quickly nodded your head.

“Good,” he replied before he went on, “Do you think that… a man, send you those letters?” He asked you curiously, making you slowly nod, “okay,” he nodded along your silence answer, “Do you think that the man that send you those letters, knows you? I mean, like, has seen you before in person?”

You gulped before you nodded again, briefly squeezing your eyes shut as his big fingers started to circle your clit,

“Do you think that you know him?” Carlos asked you, briefly focusing his gaze onto his moving fingers now before he looked back at you.

You nodded again as tears build up in your eyes, hands tightly gripping the ropes as you felt like you were getting close to your release.

He nodded along again, “okay,” he quietly muttered, “Listen, I’ll give one last hint, alright?” Carlos asked you, making you quickly nod again,

“He said that if he gets you in his hands one day, he will never let you go, he promised you that,” he told you with a wicked smile on his lips right before you widened your eyes, tears gliding down your heated cheeks as he made you come through your panties with the tip of his fingers.

You wildly trashed around as you gasped and choked on your cries, sniffling and whining while Carlos slowed his movements down, eyes still looking at your face. He groaned,

“Just like that, mi cariño, that’s my good girl,” he whispered before he asked you, “Who do you think wrote those letters now?”

You gulped with fresh tears in your eyes as you looked up at him, squeezing your eyes shut as the realisation came over you, “Y-You did.”

He nodded, “That’s right, smart girl,” he quietly replied with a smile as his fingers left your pussy, gliding down to you ankles now,

“Since you were so smart and won the little game, I’ll get you out of those ropes now, okay?” He raised his brows as he lowered the little knife towards your ankle.

You barely had enough time to nod before he already removed the ropes around your ankles, quickly freeing your hands as well, giving you the ability to slowly sit up and look at him,

“What do we say? Thought you were so smart, baby.”

You gulped with tears in your eyes, “T-Thank you,” you slowly and softly replied, making him proudly smile down at you,

“No problem,” he replied with a nod of his head.

Then, Carlos stepped away from the bed, taking a few steps backwards until his back almost hit the door, making you furrow your brows before you wiped some of your tears away, focusing your gaze on his movements.

Carlos wiggled his pointer and middle finger in his direction, “C'mere,” he demanded in a quiet but stern tone, making you gulp before you stood up as well and slowly took cautious steps in his direction.

As soon as you were right in front of your fucked up neighbour, Carlos raised his head, clearly showing you that he’s visibly taller than you, making you feel unbelievably small in front of his broad figure.

“Get on your knees.”

You opened your mouth as you raised your head and looked up at the Spaniard, biting your lip as new tears made their way into your already wet eyes, “Oh no, no, no, mi cariño,” Carlos suddenly spoke up in a way softer tone as he cupped your cheeks, wiping some of the tears with the pad of his thumb away, “Está bien, solo ponte de rodillas por mí.” It’s okay, just get on your knees for me.

Without saying or doing anything else, you lowered yourself onto your knees since you were genuinely scared of him at the moment, knowing he could do anything he wants to you.

“Fuck,” Carlos mumbled under his breath, slowly running his finger through your hair, “Such a pretty sight, mi cariño,” he whispered in a deep tone while his other hand slowly unbuckled his belt, quickly freeing his very obvious erection.

You blinked some tears away since it all got so blurry by now, gulping again as he put the tip of his big cock in front of your still closed mouth.

“You know what to do, c'mon.”

Sniffling one last time, you opened your mouth, letting him shove himself into your mouth, hearing him groan and moan as he shoved himself so far into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat, making you gag around him.

“C'mon,” Carlos whined a bit, faking a pathetic pout as you just focused yourself on breathing through your nose, “J-Just like that, f-fuck yes,” he groaned as you squeezed your eyes shut and took him as far as you possibly could, briefly making him smile down at you.

“Buena chica.” Good girl.

You whined around his big, wide dick, fingers squeezing his navy blue slacks as fresh tears blurred your vision again as you looked up at him while he forced himself down your throat.

Your neighbour groaned as he caught your gaze, briefly chuckling under his breath as he noticed your smudged mascara under your eyes. Suddenly, he quickly removed himself from you, having a tight grip on your head by the roots of your hair, “Apologise,” he demanded in a deep tone, making you furrow your brows as you sniffled.

“W-What?” You spoke up in a quite and unsure tone, “For what, c-carlos?”

Carlos threw his head back before he growled, harshly grabbing your head and forcing your face towards his erection again, mercilessly shoving his cock into your mouth and down your throat, making you gag again.

But he only forced himself for a split seconds down your throat, then he pulled out again and forced you to look up at him, “Apologise,” he harshly repeated but you were still confused.

You whined, “F-For wh-” but before you were able to finish your sentence, Carlos forced his cock down your throat again, holding your head in that exact position for a few seconds before he let you go and pulled away again, groaning as he did so while you only whined and sniffled, quickly wiping some of your tears away.

His next move suprised you a bit, Carlos slowly bended down so he was eye level with you and wiped your tears away, pouting a bit and actually looking sad and sorry, “Do you really don't know what I mean?” He asked you in a rather kind tone, quickly making you shake your head as he wiped new tears away, stroking your cheeks afterwards.

He slowly nodded, “okay mi cariño, I’ll give you a hint again, alright?” He tilted his head to the side before you nodded your head, “o-okay.”

“What did you do with the first letters after you’ve read them?” Carlos asked you in a deep but kind tone, making you bit your lip as you through about what you’ve done after you’ve opened them and read them — and then it made click.

“I-I threw them a-away,” you slowly answered as soon as Carlos rose to his feet again, sternly looking down at you now, “exactly,” he nodded.

You gulped before you squeezed your eyes shut and quickly spoke up, smiling a tiny bit to make it seem more believable, “I am s-so sorry, c-carlos,” you wildly claimed, “I regret t-throwing them a-away! I swear t-that as soon as I-I'm home, I’m g-gonna get them o-out of the trash b-bin and f-frame them in my b-bedroom, I promise!”

Carlos only furrowed his brows and confusingly tilted his head to the side, “As soon as you're home? Mi cariño, you are at home! And don’t worry baby, I’m gonna go over to your house then and get them out of the trash bin for you and frame them myself,” he proudly told you, “and then we can hang them up! Either in the living room or the bedroom, wherever you want pretty girl,” carlos stated with a small smile as you gulped before you slowly nodded,

“O-Okay,” you answered before Carlos spoke up again, “Does that sound good for you, baby?”

You quickly nodded, “Y-Yes carlos,” you said, “sounds g-great.”

He stroked your cheek, briefly bending down to kiss the top of your head, “Perfect, I love you,” he claimed with a happy smile.

You looked up at him, briefly furrowing your brows before you replied, “I l-love you t-too.” You mumbled as you leaned into the touch of his palm with salty tears in your eyes.

[batboyblog]

The recent Chappell Roan thing is why I absolutely hate the lack of political literacy in this country. Big-name celebrities think they're really cooking when they say "well Kamala still supports blowing up Palestinian babies because she won't cut ties with Israel, so therefore I'm not voting for her and you shouldn't either! Both her and Trump suck so I'm not voting/voting third party!"

Like it or not, Israel is an ALLY of the United States. We CAN'T just cut ties with them unless it's a long drawn-out process, and even then it's probably NEVER going to happen. This is basic shit we learned in social studies, holy shit!

Trump would be so much fucking worse for everyone involved, including Palestine, and not voting or voting third party is pretty much just handing your vote over to Trump due to how voting WORKS in a two-party system dictated by the fucked up electoral college.

This was a long ramble and you've probably gotten similar asks the last few months like this, but fuck, I just have to get this off my chest, and the most recent event with her was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Celebs in general need to shut the fuck up about politics unless they are actually partaking in activism instead of this virtue-signaling bullshit.

Taking things one thing at a time.

I'll admit to having only seen Chappell Roan's final video on the subject, so idk what she said before that (outside of generally)

The two things that really stuck out to me and pissed me off about that live/video was she 1. accused Democrats (she said "the left" but was clearly in context talking about the Democrats) for "transphobic policy" (also genocidal, equally silly) and it was SUCH a groundless lie, such a baseless, stupid, uninformed, silly lie. It'd be like saying "yes the right is bad! but Kamala Harris says she wants to shoot a pony every day of her Presidency and I can't support that!" And to be a Queer artist who's whole thing is centering Queer art, particularly drag who's got a young maybe not very informed queer fan base who's made talking about trans rights your main political thing to just lie about the nature of the threat to trans rights and trans lives at this moment is fucking awful and downright criminal.

Listen right now Republicans are aggressively attacking Democrats on trans rights. Trump went after Harris at their debate for "trans surgeries for illegal aliens in prison!" Republicans are attacking Tim Walz as "tampon Tim" for the idea that he supports trans male students having access to tampons (and other crazy transphobic attacks on him) Republicans are centering transphobia as a main campaign issue, anyone who gives a fuck about trans people in this nation should know Trump and Creepy Vance in charge of the federal government? is the nightmare. You can't claim to care about trans people or be "centering" them and not be doing all you can to stop Republicans at the ballot box this November. And both siding it and saying bullshit that somehow it will be just as bad if Democrats win is not stopping Republicans no matter how you personally vote.

The Second thing in her video that really annoyed me was she said she was voting for Harris but then had a whole word salad about how everyone needed to make up their own minds about who would be best. Basically saying that while she was voting for Harris, a vote for Trump was a reasonable conclusion people could reach. Again if you truly care about the issues she says she cares about, no, you can't vote for Trump. And again to use your platform to push "both sides" is to throw the very people you claim are your brand under the bus in the worst way.

I don't like to throw people under the bus for their family, Tim Walz' brother is a MAGA lunatic for example, but Chappell Roan talked about Republican family that "loved her" and I can't help but wonder if she was thinking of her Republican State Rep uncle, Darin Chappell. Again people can't control family members and I'm not asking anyone to come out and attack their family in public. I'm just wondering if her views on Republicans and finding a middle ground and "they still love me" is colored by Uncle Darin and not understanding he might love her and be proud of her but he still walks into the Missouri state capital and votes for abortion bans and transphobia.

to move onto the meat of your ask which I think is less about Roan in particular and more generalized about a certain type of celebrity and GenZ very on-line types. On the whole Israel-Palestine thing, I think most of the people posting about it know very little or know a lot of misinformation, you every see people boldly posting "I don't need to know everything to know right from wrong!" you run into that a lot. And I'd say yes, you do need to know a lot to comment on a complex multi generational ethnic-political conflict with many state and non-state actors.

Last night JD Vance and Tim Walz had their debate and every time there was an issue, housing costs, medical costs, gun violence, inflation, Vance would move it around to how if we just deported all the immigrants the issue would be fixed, no more drugs no more gun violence, housing would be cheap, just get rid of the people I don't like.

And I see a lot of that with Israel, "Palestine is a climate issue!" "Queer as in Free Palestine!" etc where if we just get rid of Israel it'll all be fixed. Which of course connects to long standing antisemitic ideas about Jews running the world, people happily sub in the word "Israel" or "Zionist" and then repeat the same old racism thats followed the Jews around for 1,000 years.

So long and short I think most people talking about Palestine don't know enough to talk about it, but what's worse don't really care about Palestine at all

I'm reminded here of Trump's "Deal of the Century". Oh? you don't remember it? shocker, in January 2020 Trump released a "peace plan" drawn up with no Palestinians involved, where Israel would be allowed to annex everything in the West Bank it would want, the Jordan Vally cutting Palestine off from Jordan and totally encircling it with Israel. The West Bank would be Swiss cheesed up into little pockets connected by tunnels or overpasses but with Israeli territory running through it everywhere. The Palestinians said "no!" and then Netanyahu claimed that Trump had green lit Israel to annex the land it wanted even without Palestinian agreement to the plan and without giving the Palestinians anything. There was some confusion and thankfully that didn't happen. We may never know the fully story of what stopped it, but I do think Trump agreed to annexing much of the West Bank, but pulled back under pressure from Gulf Arab Oil states who later in 2020 made peace with Israel in the Abraham Accords in an effort to stop Netanyahu's annexation plans.

any ways to point out, 1. Palestine was on the edge of annexation the end of the dream of Palestinian statehood in any meaningful sense, and where were the protests? the encampments? etc? it never comes up, 4 years ago, and all the people who live and breath this stuff never mention it? 2. We have reason to believe Trump signed off on a far-right government of Israel annexing much of the West Bank, his "peace plan" abandoned the outlines that American Presidents since Bill Clinton set forward for getting a Palestinian state on 95+% of the West Bank in favor of "what does the Israeli right want?" and again no one is talking about it in the context of this election, we know what he'll do, because he's done it before.

but again its not really about the Palestinians, its not about building a Palestinian state, its "get rid of Israel" and then what? what happens to the 9 million people who live in Israel? and people don't have a realistic answer, because its a political fantasy that if they just do X everything will magically get better, even on totally unrelated issues.

[poeticpascal]

Trouble (Pedro Pascal x Rockstar!Reader)

Masterlist | Request here!

Summary: Pedro had never heard of (Y/N) (L/N) before his latest appearance on The Graham Norton Show. By the end, his assistant wishes it had stayed that way, and he wonders how it took him so long to find her.

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: mentions of drug abuse (now recovered), allusions to but no specific mention of an overdose.

A/n: I am very nervous to post this! I've never written a fic about an actor like this before, so depending on how this one does lol, you may be able to expect more from me like this. Please let me know what you think, and don't forget my requests are open!

“And he used red this time! We were getting so worried that he wasn’t interested in all 3 primary colours-”

Pedro sighs, glancing towards the door to see if his assistant was coming back yet. No sign.

He turns back to the old lady who’s been talking now for what - 4 hours? 5? It felt like it. She was sweet, and he didn’t want to be rude, but god if he had to spend one more minute hearing about her grandson’s latest finger painting-

“So sorry I took so long! We’ll have to get going Pedro - your next interview is in 10.”

His assistant - Alicia - burst back into the room and Pedro was sure he could feel his eyes well in relief. He takes the lady’s hand, shaking it and giving her a warm smile. “Mrs Alderman, I’d love to hear all about Harvey, but I’ve gotta go. It was lovely to meet you!”

She smiles in understanding and clasps her own hand on top of his. “It was lovely to meet you too, Peter!”

Alicia snorts behind him, and Pedro gives up with a final, defeated smile before heading out of the cafe and back towards his car. He’d only wanted to nip in for a second, to grab coffee and a pastry, but then Alicia got a phone call, and Mrs Alderman started talking to him in the queue, and by the time they left his goddamn coffee had gone cold.

They clamber inside, Alicia pushing a few files onto the backseat as Pedro stares. “I almost died, you know,” he quips, half muffled as he takes a bite of his croissant. He hums at the taste, light and buttery; maybe it had been worth it.

Alicia rolls her eyes, used to his antics by now. “I was on the phone to the BBC. They’ve confirmed who you’ll be on The Graham Norton Show with.”

“They have? Who?” 

He generally felt nervous going on the big chat shows, especially with how in demand he'd been recently. But Graham had been so warm, especially for his first time on the show, that when they asked him to come back he'd accepted without hesitation.

And really, he was quite looking forward to it.

Alicia doesn't seem quite as excited though. She flips open her notepad, littered with delicate but hasty scribbles of various projects and dates, and begins to read out the names.

“Robert Downey Jr, he’s promoting Oppenheimer.”

“I'm gonna meet Iron Man?” Now he was nervous.

“Kate McKinnon. She's in the Barbie movie, I think.”

“Amazing.” He'd always wanted to meet her.

“And…” she sighs. “(Y/N) (L/N).”

“Who?” No seriously, who?

Alicia snaps her head up to look at him. Surely he didn’t not know who she was? “(Y/N) (L/N)? The singer?”

Pedro just shakes his head, unbothered. “Nah, never heard of her. She any good?”

“No, Pedro, that’s the point.” He cocks an eyebrow, gesturing for her to continue as she looks back and forth between him and her notes. “She’s a publicist’s worst nightmare. She’s the lead singer of this band, The Heartbreakers, they’re huge. Like, Taylor Swift-huge. But if Taylor Swift did heavy metal.”

“And why don't we like her?” he asks.

“Because she’s trouble. She’s had big drug problems, she argues with everyone, she goes on stage and pulls all these crazy stunts. She’s always in the news, Pedro.”

He can’t help but think she sounds like fun.

“Can’t be that bad, right? If she’s that famous?”

Alicia shakes her head, “she's famous, but that doesn’t mean she’s not dangerous. People love you right now, Pedro. I’m just concerned that if you’re seen to be… friendly with her, people will raise their eyebrows. It won’t look good.

He thinks for a second. It really wasn’t in his nature, this whole PR thing. He liked meeting new people, and listening to them, and connecting. Maybe not Mrs Alderman - and now he's thinking about that nightmare again - but, for the most part, yes; Pedro liked people.

And not giving someone a chance because of his public image didn’t feel right.

Alicia sees the cogs turning in his brain, so she flips the pad closed, giving him her full attention now. “I know it’s strange, but I mean it. It’s not a hole you want to get dragged into. Her fandom is huge, the media's obsessed with her, parents hate that their kids listen to her and kids love to piss off their parents by listening to her. I’m going to speak to them about getting you sat on the opposite end of the couch... I just want to make sure you’re not linked with her. Trust me.”

With that, he nods his head. He does trust her - at the end of the day, he didn’t even know who this (Y/N) person was. So what if he didn’t speak to her much on the show?

—------

“WHAT?!”

He had to pull the phone away as Bella’s near-screech pierced his ears. They yell again, something along the lines of “are you serious? Pedro, are you serious?!”

“Yes I’m serious, what’s the big-”

“Oh my god I can’t believe it! You’re going to meet (Y/N) (L/N)! Will you mention her to me? I saw her tweet once that she watched the show and oh my god I need her to follow me on Instagram-”

“Wait, Bella, wait,” Pedro rubs his thumb and forefinger between his brows, not exactly thrilled that what was supposed to be a call to calm his nerves the night before the show was now filled with so much rowdiness. “I don’t even know who she is! You listen to her?”

They gasp, and he just knew they were pulling a dramatic, jaw-dropped face on the other end of the line. “Come on man, I know you’re not the hippest guy around but you have to know who she is!”

He giggles, throwing his hands in the air. “‘Fraid not, Bella. I’ve no clue. I do know i’m not supposed to talk to her though.”

Now there was a real gasp, not the purposefully dramatic kind. “What? Pedro, you can’t not talk to her. You have to. She’s the coolest person, like, ever.”

Pedro scoffs, “what about me?”

“When you get sleeve tattoos and banned from performing at the VMAs, you might get considered dude.”

“She was banned from the VMAs?”

You know that feeling, when someone tells you not to do something, and you don’t want to do anything else?

Yeah, that.

“I’ll send you the link, it was so cool. She said she’ll be allowed back next year anyway 'cos they need her to stay relevant.” He giggles again at that, and yeah, he couldn’t deny his intrigue.

“So that’s why you like her? She's all rebellious and stuff?” Pedro chews on his thumb as he asks, the anxiety of tomorrow not quite forgotten, but listening intently as Bella rants on.

“Nah, I mean she is controversial, but I just think she’s amazing. She acts all tough and rock 'n' roll, but she's really great deep down. I went to see her band once a couple of years ago, and this girl fainted so she stopped the whole show to make sure she got water and was okay. She’s just misunderstood, man.”

“Is it true she’s a drug addict?” He's not sure why he felt the need to ask. Why he cared. Maybe it was just to build a better picture, or maybe because Bella loves her so much, and he cares about their interests. Maybe, he had a sort of… concern, for her. For this enigma.

They knew each other well, and Bella could sense Pedro’s interest. More than anything, they were just excited to tell him about their favourite singer. “She used to be, it was crazy. She’d go on stage high and everything, people really hated her then. But she’s been sober now for, like, a year? She talks about it a lot. This is what I mean dude - everyone remembers all those shitty things but I think she’s so strong.”

He hums in agreement, thinking back to Alicia’s warning a few days earlier.

“Do you think it’d be bad? If I talked to her?”

It was Bella taking a moment’s pause, now. “I mean… Alicia’s not wrong. She’s not exactly got the cleanest image a celebrity’s ever had. I guess it’s up to you to decide what matters most.”

It was quite profound really, and Pedro was reminded of just how mature they were for their age.

“The most important thing is that you give her my instagram handle.”

And just like that, the moment’s gone. He laughs, shaking his head and muttering “you’re a dick”, before falling into conversation about other things. He fully intended to look up (Y/N) (L/N) before he fell asleep, but the hours went by quick and soon enough he'd drifted off, phone in hand and tomorrow's nerves dispelled for now.

—------

Maybe this whole Graham Norton thing was a bad idea.

Pedro was tired.

It had been a long flight to London, a long drive from the airport to his hotel. And a long, long wait at the studio before they even thought about getting filming started.

He’d been in hair and makeup for a good while, and according to Alicia, it would still be another two hour’s wait until they got him sat on the big red couch.

Yeah, he was tired.

He steps out, the muddied skies of London painting a grey-cast shadow on his face, the frosty winds hitting his skin. It was nice. Different. Much harsher than the LA sun he was used to.

He looks around; it’s just him there in the car park, leant against the windowsill and letting his eyes drift shut. It’s peaceful, and if it weren’t for the rushing of the motorway that ran just beside him, he’d almost feel alone.

“Mind if I join?”

He jolts awake, startled out of his near-tranquility, facing the woman who’d crept outside through the same doors he did. She was casually dressed, far more so than the BBC staff he’d seen today; she must be a temp, or an intern or something. A heavy black hoodie swallows her frame, and he wished he had a similar one as his ice-cold breath fell into the air. His eyes draw upwards, and he thinks to himself just how pretty she is. (Y/H/C) hair is bundled in her hood, loose strands blowing messily in the wind. She has no makeup on, so he can see greyish bags hung under her eyes, her lips stained pink, a soft blush blooming over her cheeks from the frosty air. There’s a roughness to her, something harsh, and it makes her so utterly alluring.

“Yeah- yes, of course. Of course.” He offers a smile, and she smiles back, and his heart races.

He shuffles to the left, unsure of why he’s making room for her on the windowsill; they’re outside, he’s a stranger. There’s a bench not far from the door, perfectly fit for her to sit on. And yet she follows his movements, and leans against the porcelain outline of the large window, searching for something in her pockets.

“D'you smoke?” She produces a pack of cigarettes, and digs out a lighter from her back jean pocket. Pedro watches as she slips one of them between her lips, covering the end with delicate hands as she lights it, revelling in the taste and taking a long drag. He notices then her long black nails, perfectly painted and delicately holding the cigarette in place, elegant and weapon-like at the same time.

There’s a nonchalance to everything she does, and it’s enticing. She doesn’t look at him when she asks, or when she expels the smoke from her lungs, keeping her eyes set forward and undoubtedly feeling the weight of Pedro’s on her face.

He forgets he’s supposed to answer.

“Er, no, thank you. I’m being good.” He offers her a smile, forced as he tries to remember his own whereabouts, too entranced by the beauty and the charisma that fell from this woman in droves.

The two are silent for a little while, he can’t be too sure how long. He smells the smoke from beside him, sees the wisps drawl from her tongue and into the cool air, and for someone who considered himself rather charming, he couldn’t for the life of him think of something to say.

He doesn’t have to.

“What're you doing out here, then?”

And this time she is looking at him. They’re sat close, and his eyes meet hers with ease, warm and welcoming. He feels a little more comfortable now, like she’s a friend; her warmness makes it hard to feel anything other than at peace.

He smiles, bashful. “I’m working.”

“Working?”

He looks down at his shoes, rubbing them against one another. It was always a strange conversation to have, explaining who he was to people who didn’t know. It felt like showing off a little; more than anything, he didn’t want to make a big deal of it.

“Yeah, I, uh… on the show.”

She giggles, and it sounds so sweet that his tummy heats up. “I’m only kidding. I know who you are. The Last Of Us, right?”

There’s a sincerity to her tone, nothing like this thick, false charm people try to use when they know he’s famous. It didn’t feel like she wanted anything from him in that moment. He nods, looking back up at her and his breath hitches when they immediately lock eyes again. Her lips are turned into a sly smile, cheeky almost, and he can’t help but grin back.

“I liked that show,” she says before taking another long drag.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me. Makes this fuckin’ huge press tour worth it.”

She laughs. Not the quiet giggle she gave him before, but a proper laugh, one that makes her eyes brighter and her nose scrunch up. Pedro laughs too, caught up in her, and when their chuckles die down they relax into a comfortable silence for a few moments before he turns to her again and asks, “how about you? Are you on the production team?”

She ponders her answer. It’s the first time - in the 10 minutes since they’d met - that she’d seemed to falter. Like she was unsure. “Yeah, you could say that.”

He didn’t push it. Maybe his fame was a problem. Did she feel overwhelmed? Or judged? He didn’t know - but a twang of sadness settled in his gut, and he wondered what to say next.

She recovers quickly, though. Stands back up a little straighter, puts the butt of her cigarette out against the wall, and faces him once again. “You seem nervous."

Pedro chuckles, nervously. “Am I that obvious?”

“Only when you scuff your shoes within an inch of their life and readjust your glasses every 10 seconds.”

“And here I thought I hid it well.” Cocking an eyebrow, the woman looks at him knowingly and tilts her head, encouraging him to go on.

“I always get nervous before these things... it feels worse this time, though. I just know Robert Downey Jr is gonna think I’m so weird, and then there’s this other lady I gotta avoid-”

“Who?”

She was abrupt, quickly apologising for interrupting him. He didn’t mind. “She’s like this... musician? I think. I’m sure you’ll know who she is. I’m awful at keeping up with whatever the kids are doing now. (Y/N)- (Y/N) something.”

There was a pause, awkwardly long. “My assistant says I gotta stay away from her” her continues, feeling a need to fill the gap. “Just doesn’t feel right to me, you know? To judge someone like that before you’ve even met them?”

He watches as she nods her head, deep in thought. She meets his eyes and nods again, faster, showing to him now that she agrees. She understands. He’s not quite sure how she understands, but he believes her; she didn’t strike him as the dishonest sort.

Pedro’s phone vibrates in his pocket, startling them both and they share another soft laugh. He grabs it, seeing Alicia's text flash on the screen - You’ve got a meeting with the producers to go over filming. 10 minutes. Ah shit.

“Everything okay?” There’s concern in her voice, and Pedro wonders if she knows he has to go. If she’s just as disappointed as he is.

“Yeah, yeah. I just - I gotta go.”

She’s definitely disappointed. He knows because her bright eyes fall the same way his did.

He’d never quite felt like this; like a magnet was drawing him to someone and like it would hurt in his soul to let her go. It occurred to him then, he didn’t even know her name, and he’d be damned if he was going to crawl back into the world of PR and publicity stunts and rehearsed answers without finding it out.

“It was nice to meet you. I don’t know if you- you want to get a coffee? Or something? After filming?”

The same harsh edge she had when they met, the one that had slipped and softened as they talked, seemed to have crept back as a once-sweet smile became that sly, cautious smirk. He couldn’t quite understand what she was thinking, what the cogs that so clearly turned in her mind were churning up, but he knew he didn’t care as long as he got to see her again.

“I’d like that.” Pedro sighs in relief, smiling again and sticking out an ice-bitten hand. “I’m Pedro.”

She giggles, offering her own hand and he stalled at the feeling of her fingers wrapped around his own. “I know.” She retorts, and he laughs, and just when she opens her mouth to tell him her own name-

“Pedro! We gotta go!”

Alicia shoves the door open, not even looking up from her phone which was presumably inundated with countless emails and phone calls, and Pedro sighs before looking desperately into the still nameless women’s eyes. She just smiles, dropping his hand and digging hers into her pockets. “Go on. I'll catch you later.”

He nods, swallowing and offering a small, regretful smile before pushing himself off the wall and following Alicia back inside. She huffs at him, speeding back off down the corridor and muttering something along the lines of “these goddamn producers”. He looks back a final time, to where the woman still sits in the windowsill. She waves, and he grins, unable to hide the childlike excitement her little gesture gave him before waving back and letting the door shut behind him.

—------

“We’ve got a fantastic show for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Let’s get some guests on!”

Pedro hears the roar of the audience, only a single wall between them and him as he waits to hear his name. He looks around the room; Robert and Kate are stood with him, chatting away at something he’d stopped listening to a little while ago. He felt better now he’d met them - they were lovely, so down to earth and genuinely happy to chat to him and hear what he had to say. It made him less nervous, and you might even say he was looking forward to this now.

There was no sign of her though. The singer - (Y/N). Alicia had scoffed, “typical,” just 10 minutes earlier, when there had been no sign. And she still wasn’t here.

“We’ve got the newly Emmy-nominated actor, best known for his amazing roles in The Mandalorian and HBO’s The Last Of us,” the audience’s roars got louder, “Mr. Pedro Pascal!”

It’s time.

He pulls his suit jacket a little tighter around himself, laying his palm flat against the bottom of his chest. With the other hand, he waves, smiling brightly at the crowd who cheered him on. Graham greets him, pulling him in for a hug and welcoming him back, before pointing him towards the end of the couch. Pedro gives the audience a final wave, mouthing ‘thank you’s and trying to express his gratitude for the love that filled the room.

Kate and Robert came next, shaking his hand and ‘introducing’ themselves again, despite the fact he’d already met them an hour earlier. A producer runs up to Graham, whispering something in his ear before darting off in the other direction. Graham rolls his eyes playfully, turning towards the audience and announcing, “we’ve got a late one!” The audience laugh, and Graham just organises his cue cards as producers usedthe extra time to prepare the camera angles and get the lighting right.

Graham looks at the couch, smiling with a wink. “Don’t worry - she’ll be here in a minute.”

“Is this (Y/N) again?” Robert asks, grinning.

“You’ve met her?” Pedro jumps in, falling into small talk among the four of them.

“A couple of times now yeah,” Robert replies. “I think she’s great, really funny. She's just… not the most put together person.”

They laugh, and Kate recounts her own story of having to wait on some celebrity or another, entertaining the crowd.

Graham parts from the conversation after around 10 minutes, holding a finger to his ear piece and nodding at whatever he was being told from the other end of the line. He stands up, smiling wide and turning to the audience, “she’s here! We have our rockstar ready.”

Cheers immediately erupt, and Graham turns to the guests to check they’re all ready to carry on with the show. Pedro nods, anticipation building as he spots Alicia from the corner of his eye, keeping watch.

“And don’t worry everyone, we’ll cut that little intermission out!” The room laughs. “Now I’m very glad introduce our last, but certainly not least, guest of the night. She’s the lead singer of Grammy-nominated band The Heartbreakers, she’s one of the most famous women in the world right now, and she’s only a tad terrifying. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome - (Y/N) (L/N)!

The audience becomes the loudest they’ve been all night, standing and yelling as the final guest takes the stage, and -

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It’s her. The woman from outside, the one he’d been thinking about all afternoon. The one whose name he never learned. 

She looks different; she looks like the woman he’d been warned about. She looks dangerous. Where a black hoodie had hung from her shoulders, a black lace dress now clung to her figure and he could see the tattoos that littered her sleeveless arms. The bags under her eyes were gone, as was the pink on her cheeks; her skin was painted, perfected, sculpted with darker shades and glowing radiantly. Her lips were black and glossy, so neatly done that she almost looked like a doll. Thick eyeliner carried a smoky shadow across her eyelid and beyond, drowning the same (Y/E/C) eyes he’d memorised in black.

She was ethereal.

And she was his one, single instruction for the night. Don’t get involved in her.

She waves at the audience, smirking in the same sly way she’d done to him earlier; he saw more clearly that they were the same now. She has the same charm, same charisma, same allure and yet she seems all the more potent now as she strides across the stage in 6 inch heels and pulls Graham into a tight hug, like old friends. She whispers something in his ear, and he throws his head back with a laugh before she saunters to the couch, where the three guests stand up to greet her. She and Kate introduce one another with a kiss on the cheek and a warm smile, before she gives Robert another tight hug and they share a word that Pedro can hear now. “I have to stay here an extra 10 minutes ‘cos of you” Robert quips, causing (Y/N) to pull back and look at him with a cocked brow.

“You know I’m worth it, Downey.”

With that, she turns to face Pedro, and his breath hitches the same way it did when they’d first met. Her grin falters slightly, and there it is again; that honesty. She almost seemed like she was putting on a show, with her slow saunter and cheeky remarks, but there was nothing false about the way she wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes.

“My name’s (Y/N).”

He just laughs. He can’t help it. She makes him feel giddy. “I know.”

The audience’s applause dies down, and (Y/N) takes her spot as the star guest, and the first on the couch closest the Graham. He talks between them and the crowd, commenting on what a great line up they had today, despite certain delays, which has the audience howling again. (Y/N) laughs with them, shaking her head and pretending to cover her face with her hand, before looking up at Graham and saying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay? I got held up!”

“Well you have to tell us what happened,” Graham retorts, and they banter as (Y/N) recounts getting stuck in the backstage toilets. She has everyone wrapped around her finger, listening to everything she says and laughing at her jokes, and Pedro can’t find himself believing the warnings Alicia had given him. 

He remembers Bella, and how much praise they had for her, and he gets it. He sees what they see.

“Well you’re here now, that’s all that matters. We actually haven’t seen you for a while!” 

(Y/N) nods, her demeanour becoming slightly more serious. “No, it’s been a strange few months.” 

Graham continues, “the last time you were on the show was 2021. And obviously as most of us here know, you've had quite a difficult time since then, right? Tell me how you’ve been.”

She takes a sharp breath, and Pedro could’ve sworn she glanced up at him before she answers. “Well, yeah. I’m sure it’s no surprise to anyone that I was struggling with addiction for… most of my career, really.”

“‘No surprise’?” - Graham interjects - “you used to get high on stage!” It seemed judgemental, but it quickly became clear that he and (Y/N) had that sort of friendship, the kind where you can talk to one another so blatantly. She purses her lips at him, and he giggles, which makes her break the feigned offence and giggle too. 

“Look, man, that’s rock and roll.” The room laughs again. “No but seriously, yeah, it just got worse and worse until… well, you know what happened. it was hard. But I’ve gotten clean, I haven’t touched that shit in what, 8 months?” The crowd launch into cheers and applause, echoed by Graham and the other guests. Pedro could see how much it meant to her, how she tried to keep a stoic appearance despite the tears beginning to glisten in her eyes. She mouths a thank you, and he longs to skip right past Robert and Kate to be by her side, to hold her. She recovers quickly, something Pedro notes she seems to do a lot; cover her moments of weakness as soon as they start. Instead she sits up straighter and jokes, “I think everyone’s worried I’m gonna be boring now, without the drugs.”

Graham laughs, “I mean, you are known for being one of the more controversial artists out there.”

“If anything, I think being high slowed me down. I’m just gonna get worse, now.”

“Oh god, don’t say that,” Graham jokes, “you’re going on tour again soon, I’m not sure we can handle it.”

The audience cheer even louder at the mention of the tour, making (Y/N)’s smile grow wider. “Yep, new album, new tour. It’s all happening.”

Graham turns to Pedro suddenly, as if remembering he had three other guests to rope into the conversation. “Do you listen to this sort of music, Pedro? The Heartbreakers?”

And, shit. Pedro can feel Alicia’s eyes burning into him from off-stage, and he recalls her warnings about this very situation.

Don’t make friends with her

Don’t give the media something to talk about

Don’t ruin your reputation

And yet, her voice got quieter and quieter in his head, as the sound of (Y/N)’s laugh and the pierce of her eyes became all he could think about. The decision was pretty easy to make, really.

“I actually hadn’t heard of them, until today.” Graham chuckles at his reply. “But I think I’ll have to start listening.”

The crowd cheer, and the pair lock eyes for what could’ve only been a few seconds, but felt like so much longer. She tries to fight the way the corners of her mouth pull upwards, white teeth poking through painted black lips, but when she sees him smiling back at her she lets them go and drowns in the butterflies she’s so unused to feeling.

God, he was in so much trouble.

[httpscomexe]

I’ve recently become obsessed with Wade Wilson and Logan Howlett, and I love your FSD and Ensnared series.

I wanted to make a request on a poolverine one where Deadpool and Wolverine were both hired by the Avengers to find the reader and bring her to the tower because even though she’s just a normal civilian, she actually has some secret shit up her sleeves like a Mafia boss or something, but they kinda grow on her?

Thank you 💛❤️

Risk of Contract - Red and Yellow

Summary: You’re back to partying after a few years of giving up, but of course, your idols have to get in the way, and you quickly learn just how bad you’ve fucked up with the Avengers.

(Find what I'm currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Pairings: Logan x Reader x Wade

Warnings: Individual Warnings PerChapter - Kidnapping, drugging, language, cruel jokes, underage drinking, mentions of murder, blood, fight, sexual jokes, Honda odyssey, early stage obsession? Logan and Wade are both warnings.

Word count: 4815 (Find all chapters here) Chapter 2

P.S. If you’d like to be tagged, please let me know through an ask, DM, or comment. Thank you. (This fic is going to be a non-con with triggering kinks such as blood kinks and pain kinks)

P.P.S. Red and Yellow=Wade and Logan, Yellow=Logan, Red=Wade

There it was again. Another TikTok edit of Logan Howlett on your FYP. You’ve considered deleting all of your socials a few times. Your little crush had developed into an obsession. Which, for some reason, was becoming unhealthy. For some unknown reason, it made you genuinely sad that you knew you would never be able to meet Wolverine or Deadpool. Hell, you lived right in New York, and you’ve never even seen Spiderman for fucks sake. Everyone else has, but for some reason, you haven’t.

It actually made you jealous of your friends.

Yea, you were a normal college student who was working for your degree, but you lived in the heart of the city and you’ve never seen any of the heroes. Worst of all, you’ve never seen Wolverine or Deadpool, your idols. They weren’t the best to look up to, but you loved them.

Every edit you got on instagram or TikTok almost had you crying yourself to sleep.

So yea, it was unhealthy.

But you couldn’t help it. And with Halloween being today, it was even worse. Maybe a Wolverine costume wasn’t per-say the best idea.

You felt like a weirdo being obsessed with the two men, but you didn’t care.

You’re a loner in the school. The only reason people knew you was because you’ve shown up to parties on multiple occasions uninvited, but one specific time you got overly drunk, and your ex just wouldn’t leave you alone. So you got into a bit of a fight, and broke some kids' furniture.

That was in the past though, and he finally forgave you after two years, so there you were again. Dressed in a slutty Wolverine costume, walking up the front steps of the rich kids mansion, his parents went out on their annual work trip for Halloween.

Of course, you weren’t the only one dressed as Wolverine. The fight for humanity was just won to protect your earth, so obviously everyone was dressed as them. The most realistic being some of the football players.

“Hey! Y/N!” You turn as your friend runs towards you, a bald cap on her head. She was dressed as Charles Xavier of course. She was still disappointed she wouldn’t be able to bring a wheelchair to the party. Her definition of a cruel joke. “Love it, you look hot.”

“Thanks.” You chuckle, bringing your hands up to show the claws you programmed to come out upon clicking a button with your thumb, her mouth making an ‘O’ shape as they retract.

“That’s cool as fuck, I wish I was smart, your costume is way cooler than mine.”

��Pfft, what? You are absolutely rocking that bald cap.”

“Oh har har, very funny.” She walks up to the front doors of the mansion with you. “I’m glad Luke is letting you back in, just don’t fight anyone this time please.”

“I’m not promising anything.” She rolls her eyes and shows one of Luke’s bodyguards the texts on her phone which proved she was invited, then you show yours.

“You again? There better not be another fight.”

“Promise.” You tell him, your friend looking back and rolling her eyes.

“What happened to no promises?” She whispers, a smirk on her face as she walks in with you.

“They don’t count.” You tell her, immediately making your way to the table with red cups, and you quickly pour yourself a drink.

“Maybe you shouldn’t drink this time?”

“Oh hush, don’t deny me my happiness.”

“Still think you should go to rehab.” You give her a look, which she immediately takes as a sign to shut up.

“Hey, surprised you showed up.” An arm lays over your shoulder, you look over to see your best friend, and he’s dressed as Spiderman for the fifth year in a row.

“Spiderman again, Peter?”

“He’s my favourite, I think he’s cool.”

“He’s probably not.” You shrug, messing with him.

“Well you’ve never met him.”

“Yea, well I’m not as lucky as you.” You roll your eyes, taking the first sip of your drink.

“Hey Ned, how’s it going?” Peter's arm leaves your shoulder, and he goes to greet Ned before they do their long ass secret handshake. One they do so often you’ve memorised it.

“Peter Parker?” Flash… “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I come here every year…”

Their conversation fades out as you stop listening to it. Flash being the asshole you fought with in the first place.

You start to think again that maybe you shouldn’t be there. You could always go to another party or just get drunk in your own dorm, you weren’t sure why you even bothered coming.

Right.

Michelle.

“Hey, yay. You came.” MJ nudges you to get your attention. “How long have you been here?”

“Not long.” You answer her, drinking some more and you feel your phone buzz in your pocket, but you ignore it.

“Are you alright?”

“Yea, why?”

“You seem different.” She tells you, tilting her head up a little and her eyes stare down at you. “I don’t know what it is.”

“I don’t-”

“Did you take drugs?”

“What- No-”

“I’m joking, calm down, you don’t have to take everything so seriously.” She teases.

“I’m not taking anything seriously.” You chuckle. “I’m totally chill right now.”

“Oh my God, stop yelling at me, it was a joke.”

“You jerk.” You playfully punch her shoulder. Her little tactic to put a smile on your face works, as usual. You take another sip of your drink, the alcohol easily slipping down your throat.

Looking around the mansion, which was now filled with people, your suspicions were true. A majority of the kids were in their Deadpool and Wolverine costumes.

“What are you supposed to be right now?” You ask MJ, your eyes trailing up and down her costume. It was like a child mashed together a bunch of colours.

“Oh my little sister made it for me. I’m Captain Spider.”

“Captain Spider?”

“Yea, Captain America and Spiderman.”

You try not to laugh, you really do. And you don’t.

It comes out as more of a snort. Then it turns into a laugh.

“Not funny, she worked so hard on it.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You continue laughing, covering your mouth to try hiding it.

“Are you already drunk?”

“What? No…” You lie. “What makes you think that?”

“You giggle a lot when you’re drunk, but not normal giggling, it's obnoxious.”

“Oh please, go find your boyfriend. He’s Spiderman.”

“What about you?”

“I think I’m gonna leave.” You see the visible disappointment on her face as you tell her you’re going to leave soon. You didn’t like the party aspect of parties. Always too many people.

Then there was Flash…

“Hey, glad you finally forgave me.” Shit.

“Who says I forgave you?”

“Well you showed up so I assumed-”

“I don’t forgive you.”

There’s silence between the two of you before MJ speaks up.

“Let’s um… Let’s calm down, how about Flash you go that way, and Y/N-”

“Yea Y/N, calm down.” Flash interrupts her.

“Don’t interrupt my friend…”

“Or what?” He puts his drink down on a nearby table, a little harshly as some alcohol jumps out and drips onto the table under it.

“I beat your ass last time I’ll do it again.” You tell him, you head tuning out MJs voice.

“You did not win that fight.”

“You would’ve been in the hospital if Peter hadn’t pulled me off of you.”

“You weren’t even close to that level.”

“I broke your nose, asshole, why do you think your face isn’t symmetrical anymore?”

“One more word.” He warns, but you only smirk. You throw your head back, finishing your drink in one big gulp before setting down your empty red cup next to his full one.

“Fuck you.”

Your hand swings first, before he can even process what you had said. He looks back up, stunned from the punch as a trickle of blood leaks from his nose.

“I think I fixed it.”

“Asshole!” He jumps at you, knocking you into some other people dressed as animals.

“Hey!” You hear Luke’s voice, his dumbass shouldn’t have invited you again. Or he shouldn’t have invited you both at least, that would’ve been logical.

He tries to get to you as you easily overpower Flash, on top of him as he covers his face, preventing you from throwing punches at his nose, but his arms were sure to have bruises. You knew Luke wouldn’t be able to reach the two of you, he was skinny, and the crowd of people barely moved an inch as he tried to push them out of the way.

“You fucking bitch get off!” Flash yells from underneath you, his hand finding an empty Cola can on the ground which he quickly smashes against the side of your head before getting up quickly, immediately grabbing something from the table as you pop onto your feet, you knew better than to turn your back on the person you’re fighting. “You crazy fucker…” He mumbles, a full bottle of alcohol in his hand being held by the neck, which he was ready to smash on you. But you didn’t care as you wiped a little sliver of blood off your cheek and walked towards him. You had much more experience in fighting than he ever will. “Come on! Come at me!”

“Do you ever shut up?” You groan, and he swings the bottle at you, which easily smashes over your head, and as you drop to the ground, your arms wrap around his legs, making some people gasp as you drop him back onto the ground, your knee sliding over broken glass as blood seeps through your Wolverine costume, your fist colliding with his jaw, not nearly all of your strength put into the punch, as you didn’t exactly plan on breaking his jaw.

Though it might do him some good.

And you were about to let him pull the white flag, your fist halfway in the air, preparing to come back down, but then he spoke again, and it pissed you off.

“You’re such a freak.” He pauses, and then the next part blows your steam.

“It’s no fucking wonder your dad abandoned you.”

You jaw clenches, and all mercy leaves you body as you’re about to put all of your strength into the punch, but a force stops you, and you’re forced to your feet.

“What the fuck?”

“What’s going on?”

“Y/N?”

“Her eyes…”

You hear everyone mumbling, but you don’t bother paying attention as the arms around your waist bring you away from Flash. You can’t seem to turn your head, your eyes are locked on him, some camera flashes hitting your pupils, but you ignore it. You wanted to fight-

No.

You wanted to fucking kill Flash.

But you’re dragged away, and only when a hand slaps you across the face do you snap out of it, and you’re outside now, two of the football players standing in front of you. One in a Deadpool costume, the other in their Wolverine costume.

In anger, you shove at the one dressed as Wolverine, and he barely budges as he stares down at you, his mask covering his face.

“What the fuck man! I had him!” You shout as you push him. “Fuck!” You scream, the outside of the mansion's front yard completely empty as everyone else continues partying inside.

“Not very pretty words for a very pretty mouth.” Excuse you?

“Excuse me?” You look at the one dressed as Deadpool, your voice stunned, sounding offended as he stares down at you.

“How about you calm down?”

If another person tells me to calm the fuck down…” You shout the last few words, it was worse than being told to smile more.

And for the first time, you look up at the dude's face who was wearing the Wolverine costume. He was a full grown fucking man. He almost looked like… No, it wasn't possible.

There was no way the real Deadpool and Wolverine would just show up to some random Halloween party, they had more important things to deal with.

Or so you thought.

But then your stomach drops as the man takes off his mask.

It was really him.

You turn your head to look at the guy in the Deadpool costume- err- suit. He had already removed his mask.

Sure enough, it was the real deal.

“What the fuck-?” You mumble.

Of all the ways you see these guys face to face, it was like this.

Blood leaking down your face from your scalp because a bottle was smashed on your skull, your lips also covered in it from the amount of blood, well- basically the entire right side of your face was covered in the blood, some still occasionally dripping down from the cut on your scalp, and you knees were also blooded, along with a huge gash on your thigh as it seeped through your yellow costume, staining the fabric.

“You got a nice punch for a college girl.” Wolverine speaks up finally, his arms crossed as he stares down at you, almost like he hates you.

“Well that's because she’s a bit more than that, ain’t that right?” Deadpool asks you rhetorically, and you debate how to answer it before your phone starts ringing in your pocket.

You pull it out, the screen now cracked from the fight, the screen telling you that ‘Mark’ was calling, so you pick it up and take a step back from your idols.

“Hey man, what’s uh- what’s up?”

“Did you get my text?”

“Probably, I just haven't seen it yet, why?”

“Well how about you look at it, it’s really fucking important.” He hangs up. Such an ass.

You open the messaging app, one notification from him.

And your heart stops.

Shit. You tell yourself.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

You slowly look back up at the two men. They knew exactly what the call was about.

Of course, you finally meet these two, in the wrong setting, at the wrong time, wearing the wrong thing, and for the wrong reason. Couldn’t possibly be worse.

“Anyways, uh… I should- I should really go-” You tell them, your voice shaking embarrassingly as you take a few steps back, they take the same amount of steps forward.

So you break out in a run, it doesn’t last long though.

You’re quickly stopped, your hair pulled as one of them drag you back.

“Woah there biscuits, we just wanna talk.” Wade turns you around, holding you by your shoulders as Logan tenses up, just waiting for you to run. “We’re not gonna kill you, just a few questions and we will be out of your hair.”

“Really?”

“Yes, then replaced by Nick Fury's agents.” You scoff as he keeps you still. You don’t bother fighting back, you knew damn well you wouldn’t be able to overpower him.

“Wonderful that makes this so much better. Look.” You gently take his hands off your shoulders. “I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m definitely not who you think I am.”

“Oh you are. We know exactly who you are.” Logan speaks.

“Who am I then? I am a twenty year old college girl with a drinking problem who goes to my friend's drama club every Friday. Doesn’t sound very Wolverine and Deadpool worthy.” You blab out, hoping they’d just leave you alone.

“No, see. You’re the girl who was abandoned, or rather ran away,” Ouch. “At a very young age because of daddy issues, who decided that she would cope with the loss by becoming a very, very hated bounty hunter, mercenary, assassin, whatever you may go by.” Wade spits out, nodding a little in the end. “But we just have a few questions.”

“Fuck you.”

“Again, your mouth is too pretty to be saying that nasty word-”

“Wade enough.” Logan shuts him up, and looks down at you, bending down a little to reach your height. “You going to tell us everything you know about your boss, or we are going to have our fun fucking your face up before we give you to Fury.”

“Again, you have the wrong person.”

“Give it.” He stands straight, holding his hand out to Wade as the guy in red reaches into his pocket, placing a syringe into his palm. “You don’t wanna talk? Fine. We won’t let you go.” He tells you, taking the cap off the needle and grabbing you as you try to move away before stabbing the pin into the side of your neck, and he pushes the contents into your veins.

When you wake up, it feels like you’ve been sleeping in a dusty room for years, your body immediately gasping and coughing for years as the smell of alcohol and murky water clouding your lungs like we're in a swamp.

Your head spins, and you groan in pain, whatever they injected you with fucking hurt. You wouldn’t be surprised if it expired as you sit there, feeling paralyzed. Each of your limbs in pain and a tear falls from your eye, but you sit up, the worst of the pain targeted towards your waist, like you’ve done a thousand curl ups without a break.

The room is as you expect it to look, the murky scent of a swamp on making you lightheaded. There’s a green glow on the walls as the sun shines through a window curtain, and you’re sitting in a bed that was more than likely the origin of the smell, a dirty hand rag sitting on the edge.

“Fucking disgusting…” You mumble as you throw your feet over the edge of the bed, your bare skin touching the cold, worn wooden floor. You make your way to the bedroom door, expecting it to be locked but it opens easily, the hinges screaming as you slowly open it, checking for anyone in sight, but there was no one. Until a head peeks up from behind a counter.

“Are you awake girl?” The voice asks, an older woman's face looking towards the area you were standing in, but not quite. “Hello? I swear I heard the door open…” She mumbles, and stumbles towards you. She’s blind. You realise, stepping to the side slightly to avoid her running into you.

“H-Hi?”

“Oh! Hi. So you are awake.”

“Yes, sorry. Where am I?” You ask as she begins to walk back over to behind the counters, tripping on the way over a box but catching herself.

“Dammit Wade, stop moving things…” She growls, her teeth clenched. “You are in my humble abode. Wade said to keep you here until he got back.”

“Well, I have to go-” You take a single step towards the front door, but stop.

“My name is Althea hun, what’s yours?” She asks, and you tell her your name. “That’s a very pretty name. Wade and his friend Logan have said a lot about you.”

“Have they…?” You roll your eyes a little. What could those two possibly say about you, someone they’ve never met before.

“Yea, they tell me you’re stubborn, but you’re smart.”

“That's… not a lot, but okay.”

“Oh there’s more, mainly from Wade but I don’t think you want to hear the sexual fantasies that I was cursed to listen to from the day I met him.” Your eyes squint in confusion, and your mouth moves as if you’re about to say something, but nothing comes out. “Are you hungry? I know Wade has some leftover mac and cheese, but it’s shaped like unicorns. Although I can’t see very well obviously and I personally think they’re shaped like a penis. Or at least that’s what the shape feels like when I eat it.” She opens the fridge taking out a tupperware bowl and she slides it onto the counter. With as much as you wanted to leave, you didn’t want to be rude.

“Yea no they uh…” You look down at the leftover noodles. “Yea those aren’t unicorns.”

“I fucking knew it.”

“OH! That was amazing! A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!” You turn around quickly, and you’re met with Wade removing his mask as Logan walks in behind him like a lost puppy. Logan's eyes quickly land on you while Wade talks about whatever was so amazing. “Gasp! She’s awake.”

“You don’t actually say gasp, Wade.”

“Well it’s more fun to say gasp than to gasp you should try it some time. Oh wait, you’re too busy grumbling to be able to gasp.” Ironically, Logan grumbles something under his breath. “Well hey there goody-two-shoes. Has blind Al kept you entertained?” Blind Al? He hooks his arm over Althea's shoulders and takes the tupperware of noodles from her. “What’s wrong? Not a fan of the unicorn noods?” He laughs a little, opening the container before picking up some of the noodles with his fingers and shoving them into his mouth as Althea mumbles something you don’t hear, then there’s a presence behind you.

“How long have you been awake?” Logan asks you, his hand settling on your shoulder as you jump to the sound of his voice.

“She hasn’t been up long. Maybe five minutes.” Althea answers for you. “Now are you sure you aren’t hungry? We’ve got crackers, cup noodles-”

“I ate the cup noodles.” Wade interrupts.

“Well we have crackers still and-”

“I ate the crackers with the noodles.”

I’m sure we have half a cucumber left in the fridge.”

“What? Last time I used that thing it wasn’t cut.”

“Used?”

There’s a long silence before Logan speaks up again. “Look, kid.” He makes you face him. “We just have some questions. S.H.I.E.L.D wanted us to bring you to them, but they have this torture method I’m not very fond of that they use when people don’t co-operate.” He explains, his eyes staring into yours, searching for an understanding. “And I know you aren’t the co-operating type, to Wade and I thought it would be best to bring you here. But if you don’t cooperate with us…” He gives you a warning look, and you nod a little. “Good.”

“I just don’t get why they need to question me.”

“You’re smart. And that makes you a threat.” He tells you, and sighs. “So are you hungry?”

“I’m okay.”

“You haven’t eaten in two days.”

“Two-” You stutter, your eyes widening and your eyebrows quirking up. “Two days?”

“Yea, and you don’t even wanna know what Wade did in the bed next to-”

“Okay Ms. Menopause, don’t you have an eye appointment at 2?” Wade shuts her up.

“Why would I have an eye appointment? I’m blind.”

“Let's talk outside.” Logan grabs your arm, and leads you outside of the little apartment.

“I just don’t get it, I didn’t do anything wrong. At least not recently.”

“You have a suit.” Fuck. You freeze as he brings you into the hallway and looks down at you. His height is more intimidating than it should be.

“I- Have… A suit?”

“Yes. Which Tony Stark believes was created by Stark tech. He had a shipment that was stolen last week, and it’s leading back to you.” You stand there speechless. Feeling ridiculous as your shift on your feet, still wearing your Wolverine costume. You didn’t steal shit.

“I did not steal anything.” You answer him honestly. Who in their right minds would steal Stark tech? That’s a death wish.

“Well, they say otherwise, so until you can prove your innocence and that you are not a threat, especially considering you murder people for a living-”

“Woah okay.” You put your hands up defensively. “I have not murdered someone in a little over two months, it gets stressful.”

“Big pay.”

“Really big pay, but not enough for me to do it like it’s a full time job.”

“Then how do you make money on the side? Part time theft?”

“Are you kidding?” You ask, genuinely. “No, I’m a lab assistant at the college I go to.”

“Is that where you get your tech?”

“No, I buy stuff off Facebook and then break it down and repurpose it.”

“With the money you make from murdering people?”

“No, with the money I make from grading chemistry tests.”

“That’s barely $300 a month, I know how much you make.”

“Stalker alert.”

“Look.” He sighs, rubbing his hand down his face. “What was the name of the last man you killed? On March the twenty-third?”

“Does it matter?”

“Oh it matters.” He nods. “It matters a fucking lot. That was a very important person.”

“He was a drug dealer and trafficked children.”

“Yes, and he had very vital information, which the physical evidence was destroyed in the fire you decided to start.”

“I didn’t decide to, it just kind of happened.”

“You turned on a lighter and threw it behind you.”

“So you can get video evidence on that but not video evidence on what he did to children?”

“Did you get anything out of her yet or do we need to waterboard her?” Wade steps out, a dog in his hand. What the fuck?

“We are not waterboarding her.”

“But it always works.”

“I can breathe underwater.” You break into the conversation, and both of their heads turn.

“You’re a mutant?” He asks, more of a declaration though.

“Will that be used against me?”

“Say it again I wanna get it on recording.” Wade giggles a little and hands Logan the hairless pug, its collar reading “Mary Poppins,” then he takes out his phone, the case was adorned with pink sparkles and a unicorn sticker that was peeling off and covered in blood.

“Your friend thinks everything is a joke?” You ask him, and he just nods.

“Yea, you have to be a dick to him first and insult his past if you want him to be even a little serious.” He scratches the dog's head.

“Speaking from experience I’m assuming.” He nods.

“Uh oh, the one eyed ninja is calling me, do I pick up?”

“Yes you pick up, or he’ll come here.”

“Hello Mr. Fury.” Wade speaks into the phone. “Oh no, we still haven’t found her.” He pauses, presumably letting Fury speak. “No, no. We’ve got everything under control.” You reach out and pet the dog that’s still in Logan's arms, and her tongue reaches out to lick you. “No you do not have to put another bullet through my head, that hurt last time- what? No. Of course I’m not lying to you.” Then he suddenly reaches over, and knocks hard on the wall next to him. “Oh? Do you hear that? That’s the stripper I ordered, I have to go before it gets cold. Okay love you bye-” You hear the hang up dial tone before Wade even finishes his sentence. “He’s on his way.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Logan growls, handing Wade back the dog.

“Oh I wish. He doesn’t know you’re here though because of the whole…” He moves his hand in a circular motion. “You know, our universe Logan being dead and all… So I guess you can take Y/N and go out for a few hours, come back when I text you it’s safe.”

“And how will he know it’s you texting, not Fury?” You ask.

“We have a safe word.”

“Safe word…?” You look between them. “Like for sex.”

“Yes.” “No.” Two different answers.

“You’re both chaotic.”

“Lovers franchise.” Wade whispers.

“His ‘safeword,’ is bazinga. Whatever the fuck that means.” He makes air quotes.

“Okay well, I’d rather be with you two than see whatever Fury has in stock for me. Where was he? Is he on his way or-?”

“Oh he’s waiting by the front door.”

“What?” You and Logan say in unison.

“Yea, so you’ll have to take the fire exit.

This fucking dude.

Logan growls and grabs your wrist before leading you down the hall and to the window at the end of it before sliding it open.

“Come on.” He steps out, and grabs your hand to help you, not letting go until you were both steadily standing on the metal stairs of the fire exit, then he closed the window and he led you the way down.

“So where are we gonna go?” You ask as you both reach the ground, him helping you down as if you’re fragile. Which you weren’t.

“I know a place.”

“Just don’t murder me…” You mumble, sort of a joke as he leads you to the parking lot, a set of keys in his hands as he clicks a button on them, a Honda Odysseys lights blinking as it unlocks.

“As long as you behave and tell me everything.” He opens the passenger door for you.

“I can guarantee you will not be harmed.”

[prohistamine]

M Allergies, 1.6k words

I'm back with another fic gang. This time featuring two high society exes reuniting at a fancy gala. In proper prohistamine fashion this one features allergies, a character with the fetish, and fun power dynamics.

Be warned! somewhat explicit sexual content and general unforgivable horniness

“Lovely of you to come, truly I’m so glad to see you both.” Lorna shook the minister's hand in hers, firmly and warmly. A handshake practiced a thousand times over. “Ms. Windsor arrived a few minutes ago I believe, I’m sure she’d be delighted to catch up on your party's substantial victories in the recent election.”

As he turned away Lorna selected a flute of champagne from a passing waiter's tray and took a healthy sip. She’d need it to get through the rest of the night. She turned towards the door, ready to resume her assessment of each new guest as they arrived, but when she saw the man who’d just walked through the doors her stomach dropped. His dark hair was shorter than the last time she'd seen him, falling in waves around his face. He looked smug as ever, and when he caught her eye he started walking her way. 

“Colin,” she murmured through gritted teeth, “I didn’t think you’d be caught dead here.”

Colin grinned thinly. “Ah well, you would assume I’d choose to be petty, you always thought the worst of me.” 

She scoffed. “That is a charitable way to describe two years of you repeatedly lowering my expectations.”

“Now Lorna, can’t we put the past behind us? What is it we always said, not to let pleasure interfere with our business?” 

“Stirring up unnecessary rumors will interfere with business. Don’t you think it’s a bit soon for us to be speaking in public? The dust has barely settled, people will talk.” 

“‘Oh the worst fate!” he said in mocking horror, “to be the victim of gossip! Do you think we’ll make it out alive?” 

“Oh of course, because you're so above petty politics. I’m the one who’s obsessed with gossip and you just let it roll off your back.”

“Do you think you could say that again for me? Maybe I can get it on tape.” He smiled and rubbed at his nose absentmindedly. 

“You know what? I’m glad you came. I really missed that familiar little headache you gave me. It's this sort of… gentle throbbing at the base of my skull? I’m just not the same without it.”

“I knew you missed me. I missed the exercise I got from our conversations, we should really make a habit of it.” He rubbed his nose again, with more intention, and was she imagining it, or was the motion accompanied by the faint sound of wetness? 

“Are you just here to flaunt your ability to get yourself out of bed?” Lorna asked, “ Because if so, point proven. This is kind of an important night for me.”  

“Ah well, I’m glad you recognize my presence as the achievement it is, but I do have something to-” he cut himself off with a sniff and a scrubbing at his nostrils, “something to discuss. I have to ahh- hehh-” Lorna recognized the face he was making immediately, the far away look in his eye, the crease between his eyebrows. His buildup was, as always, dramatically long before he snatched his handkerchief out of his pocket and sneezed into it twice “AaaSCHU!  AaaeSTCHU!” As always, there was no attempt to stifle his violent outburst. He looked up at her blearily, “Ah, pardon me.”

There was a faint smirk in his tone. Lorna scowled. Of course this would happen, just what she needed when she was already struggling to maintain her composure. 

“Bless you.” she managed to say, intent on keeping her voice even. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of having a reaction. 

“Thank you I- oh there's- Aaah- ahh- AhGHSHUU! AESHTEW! AEGHEEW! Huhh. There were more.” 

Despite her frustration, the familiar heat was rising in Lorna’s stomach and traveling down between her legs. Composure be damned, she leaned forward and hissed into his ear. 

“Are you doing this on purpose?” 

He chuckled. “Oh that would have been brilliant. I’m not that cruel, I'm afraid, or that creative. It must be the floral decorations. I’m desperately allergic, you see.” 

Oh he was fucking loving this. 

“People will stare you know. You’re embarrassing yourself.” She was looking for any way to take back power in the conversation, and she realized she’d been sloppy the moment she spoke. 

“Embarrassing myself?” he asked smugly, “Oh you’d love that wouldn’t you.” 

“I’m leaving.” 

“C’mon now Lorna, I do have something important to discuss. How about we go out onto the balcony to talk. No worries about prying eyes, and the fresh air will be good for my nose.” 

Lorna cast a glance at the large glass doors leading out to the south balcony. They had fabric drapes in front of them, placed intentionally for anyone desiring a conversation away from the eye of the press. Regardless of the privacy they’d have once they got there, people would be sure to notice the two of them leaving together. The smart decision would be to tell him she wasn’t interested in talking, but she desperately wanted a break from the crowd, and, pathetic as it made her feel, she wasn’t sure she could pass up the chance to continue watching him sneeze. It had been months since she’d had the pleasure, and she was beginning to feel like a woman starved. 

“Fine.” 

“Marvelous.” he said, words slightly muddled with congestion. 

They made their way across the room, no doubt incurring the whispers of several guests.

Once they’d stepped outside and shut the doors behind them, Lorna turned to Colin only to see his face skewed in preparation for another sneeze. 

“Hehh- Hhh- HhhSTCHU! HaAGHSHEW- I ha- hhh hhASHEW! I haahh- hadn’t realized it was …it was-” he held the handkerchief in front of his face expectantly as he struggled through the sentence, head tilted back as he gulped in air to fuel the fit, “ATZSHUU! ASHEWW! R-realized it was so… ahh- AschUUu! so cold out here.” 

A sufficient chill had settled in the air since the sun had set, something Lorna hadn’t even considered. Colin was wearing nothing but a simple suit jacket, and he’d always been incredibly sensitive to changes in temperature. Just going outside in cold weather usually caused him a small fit, and the combination with his fall allergies was having quite the effect. He blew his nose into the folds of his handkerchief and then geared up for more. 

“heeSGHEW! EESGHEW! HESHEWW!! Hehh- haaahh- ahh- ASHEW!” He was bending at the waist now with the force of them, and reached blindly to his left in search of the balcony railing, which he leaned on for support once he found it. 

“Huhh-hhhh-hhoh god- heeehSHUUH! EESHEW! HEERGHSTEW! ESH-ESH-ESHU!!

The fit was punctuated by three violent little sneezes that tripped over each other to be released.

Since the moment he’d first sneezed, Lorna had felt like she was putty in Colin’s hand. His intimate knowledge of just what his allergies did to her gave him a maddening and tantalizing power over her. However, as he desperately wrenched forward with sneeze after sneeze, one hand shakily clasping a handkerchief to his face and the other doing its best to keep him upright, it was hard to see him as holding any kind of powerful position. For the first time that night she felt a twinge of pity for him. The feeling both frustrated her, and, of course, only served to further arouse her. 

His fit finally subsided, and he slumped against the railing, gasping for breath. 

“Sorry,” he managed, too exhausted to sound properly smug. 

“Don’t be,” she couldn’t help but reply, her voice high pitched and obvious. She was so wet that she was worried it might actually start dripping down her legs. They both stood there for a moment in silence. 

“So,” he started, still somewhat breathless, “about the election-”

“Colin-” she interrupted him, “I appreciate the effort to resume our professional relationship, but I don’t think I can listen to you talk about politics after that performance.” She knew she had admitted defeat, but in the face of his sniffling, shivering frame she found she no longer desired to one up him. What she really desired was to fuck him, to ease him open with her fingers and fill him up until he couldnt see. That or be fucked by him, bent over and  begging for it as he held her by the hips with his big hands. 

“I understand,” he said, “another time then. Perhaps then, before we go inside, I could talk to you about something expressly unprofessional.” 

“Have at it Colin,” she said, trying not to sound like she was begging for it. 

“There's something I’d like to show you. I warn you, it’s somewhat inappropriate.” 

She felt her heart flutter in her chest, “I can handle that.”

He took a step toward her and then took her wrist. He guided her hand forward, lowering it beneath his waist and then pressing it between his legs where an erection was straining against the fabric of his dress pants. She moaned audibly at the surprise. 

“Do you see what you’ve done to me?” he murmured into her ear, “this is what happens to me now, every time I sneeze. I can’t help it.”

“Colin,” her voice was strangled. 

“How am I going to explain this to future lovers? You know how I get in the spring, I’ll be hard constantly. What will I say if they notice my cock twitch every time I sneeze? Every time they sneeze?” 

Lorna’s clit was throbbing. Colin gave a liquid sniff, and she moaned again, body shuddering against his. Her hand closed slightly around his cock and he gasped sharply.

“My nose still itches terribly,” he murmured, accentuating the statement with another sniffle, “It would feel heavenly to rub it on something soft.” 

“Please,” she begged him. 

He leaned down slowly, placing a hand firmly on her hip, and dragged his nose across her shoulder, rubbing it in the nape of her neck. She trembled at the feeling of his soft nostrils, shifting as they rubbed against her, leaving her skin slightly wet. 

“Fuck, that feels nice,” he said softly. She could do nothing but whimper in response. 

She let it go on for a moment, their bodies intertwined, her hand on his cock and his nose buried against her. It took everything in her not to pull him into a kiss. Instead she stepped back, and wiped her shoulder with her hand. 

“Thank you,” she said, wrangling her voice back to her well-practiced professionalism, “for that stimulating conversation on politics.” She took a moment to compose herself, taking a long deep breath and then continuing, “I have a gala to host, and you have one to attend. I think it best we continue this conversation later, after the guests have left. Perhaps in my personal chambers. You’d have to be discreet about staying behind of course, we wouldn’t want my guests to suspect we’re doing something illicit.” 

Colin looked taken aback, and then broke into a wide grin, “Of course ma’am.” 

She turned towards the door and then, before opening it, turned back towards him. “This does not mean I forgive you, " she said sternly. 

Colin’s eyes sparkled. “Of course not.”

[imaginative-123]

The Yaoi Community is so ignorant to the issues other gay men faced from toxic yaoi fangirls

Warning: Minors do not retweet, interact or like my posts if I found out you're a minor you might get blocked.

Btw I'm not using f*joshi bec I found out it's a misogynistic term so I'll use Yaoi fangirls although the people using that term when it comes to criticism for Yaoi Fangirls may not realized it's a sexist term and I used that word before and not realizing it was sexist, just bec you may not seen a yaoi fangirl assaulting gay men for not having sex that doesn't excuse blind ignorance of sexual harassment gay men faced from yaoi fangirls. Also I'm not ignoring if there are other queer women who experienced being assaulted by men and I've seen other women who have issues with men in how they seen lesbians and I think they deserved better, also I used to consumed real life gay porn from websites in the past not until I found out recently that there are few stories of gay guys who tell their horrifying stories from the sex industry that includes a gay sex worker who was abused from his work and disliked Hazbin Hotel's depiction of SA and his thoughts on Poison, it just pisses me off that the Yaoi community will be ignorant to bad behaviors the community has been criticized for years by gay men who have valid criticisms so that they can defend themselves of using terms like Misogyny or the classic "You just hate women that can't enjoy BL!" When there's problematic behaviors in the community that's been a problem.

Yes the women who did this to him is Sexual Harassment, it's gross.

For the last comment there are guys I've seen who were also hated for fetishization, there are people having heated discussions on that from what I've seen.

Also this is the worst one bec this is really disgusting, an asian man was being helped by a man on his chest bec I believe this is related to injury from the Olympics and guess what the toxic yaoi fangirls make art and sexualized him. This is Online Sexual Harassment, this is distasteful to be honest, poor guy he deserved better.

This comment definitely surprised me

Hello?! Just bec there are certain men who did bad things to women that doesn't mean other women can do bad things to men, can we acknowledge that Sexual Harassments on both genders is bad?

This is all I have to post, I'm a Yaoi fangirl for all these years ever since I started as a teen, I used to have sh#tty views on men in the past during my Yaoi and Proshipper phase back then but as of growing up I'm starting to try and be open about the real issues in real life and I'm trying my best to be open and understanding as possible, and btw I'm no longer a Proshipper and I'm still a Yaoi fangirl but as someone who is part of the community, I can't just ignore the issues and normalization of bad behaviours and sexism of the community which is unfortunate it gives the Yaoi fangirls who don't participate in bad behaviours a bad name and it's sad bec there are times I feel ashamed of being a Yaoi fangirl, and what I'm hoping is that the Yaoi Community should call out bad behaviours instead of trying to act like being innocent all the time and did nothing wrong but also try to blame Misogyny as a defense card when people criticize their bad behaviors. Also Toxic Yaoi fangirls who participate in bad behaviours can be Misandrists themselves towards straight and gay men. Yes Misandry exists, stop trying to tell me it doesn't exist it's like saying Misogyny can't exist, Sexism in both genders can exist in Society.

The reason I brought up Hazbin Hotel bec I'm going to make a second post about Viv's sexist views on gay men since I've made a post on Helluva Boss and that second post on Hazbin will take time since I have college workload to do in Thesis and Foreign Language and Visual Effects. So if you're interested reading my analysis and criticisms of Viv's work here's the link.

[machiroads]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank u @plusultraetc for the tag wheeeeee

How many works do you have on AO3?

8️⃣

What's your total AO3 word count?

251,850, 150k of which is one fic lmao

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nine Lives, by an order of magnitude over 2nd place

Naruhata Noir

A Tumultuous Sea, You and Me (the mer-pirates fic)

Being No One, Going Nowhere (the 2 broken arms fic)

waiting on the seasons to change, waiting for the curtain to fall (the fortuneteller fic)

I am surprised to see the 2 broken arms fic in the top 5 tbh!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I like to get responses to my own comments, so I try to reply to everyone's comments :]

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhh PROBABLY 9L since it ends with everyone going off to war haha oopsie

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhhh probably merpirates? It's really gross and sappy. Dive into the ocean and kiss a mermaid in front of your entire crew. The 2 broken arms fic also got a pretty happy ending (Aizawa goes to bed and also maybe jerks it a little)

Do you write crossovers?

Not crossovers per se but I do enjoy a deep in the weeds AU

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so? The worst I get is people saying "wow almost no typos" which is very tame lmao

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet! Kintsugi (the epilogue to 9L) will have some mild spice but I'm at a point in my life where I just couldn't be jazzed to write folks doing it sloppy style

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so except for that website that's scraped like a ton of fics a few months back

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had one person request to translate 9L into Ukranian, though I never saw if they ended up doing it. Recently I've also had a couple people leave comments in Spanish so I assume they translated the story into Spanish somehow!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The unpublished FFXII AU is partially co-written by Robbirdthe8th, but it's been parked for like a year and a half. Also I would be remiss to omit @kyurilin who might as well get bonus credits for the Nutstang

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have been in fandom spaces for over a decade YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE ME CHOOSE A SINGLE ALL-TIME FAVORITE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. Perhaps a low-commitment list of OTPs from across the years:

Erasermic (obviously)

Edwin (FMA)

Netteflix (FE3H)

Asanoya (HQ!!)

Kanej (6 of Crows)

Yuchi (FB)

Asucaga (MSGS)

Soukana (FMP)

Maiko (ATLA)

Hanvi (DB)

Nejiten (Naruto)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably any of the Fire Emblem or Fruits Basket fics I started drafting in 2020/2021 before I figured out how to write fic lol

What are your writing strengths?

People tell me I am good at characterization! I think I'm also good at describing a setting, a skill that I exercise often in my technical writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition, my nemesis. A necessary evil, but it's like pulling teeth, every time.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Short answer: I just. Don't.

Longer answer: I think there's a time and place for it, and I've seen both well-executed and clunky ways of doing it. I've never seen a need for it yet in anything I've written.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BNHA was the first fandom I published anything for, though honourable mention goes to Fruits Basket and FE3H for convincing me that I can tell my own stories (and then get stuck trying to figure out how to write fiction woops).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Idk man I'm just vibing in my lane of erasermic et al right now

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Listen it's gotta be 9L. This fic is the reason I have made so many friends in this community. People have drawn fanart for it (one of which now lives permanently on my desk in the form of a mousepad, thank u Dragon). It is the story that got me into writing fic because it was a story that nobody else was telling, so I wrote the story that I wanted to read.

People still get to the endnotes on 9L and are like THIS IS YOUR FIRST FIC???? and yeah. I started writing fanfiction at the tender age of 28 and the first thing I decided was worth sharing is still my magnum opus. Anyone can write fic! Find a writer whose style you like, emulate it, and write the story you want to read. It's that simple.

[matchabelly]

So I literally just returned to this site last week to follow a person who shall not be named for GO3 updates (worst timing ever ik) and maybe what I'm about to say is a hot take and super long-winded but I need to get it off my chest here since no one in my personal life is as emotionally invested in this as I am. I have been an obsessed fan for almost two decades, but one thing I will not be doing is defending a powerful individual who by their own admission abused said power and is now trying to gaslight the victims. From what I've read these past few days, it seems their inappropriate behavior has been an open secret for some time now. I will no longer support their work. I am thoroughly disgusted and these allegations paint this person's every past word/action in a new, manipulative, and disturbing light for me. That being said, while I will actively be both avoiding any new content from this individual and trying to find ways to "read another book," I cannot overstate the profound effect their work has had on my life and identity. Humans are fallible and complicated. Art is transcendent. Once it is given to the universe it changes into something that is special and unique only to the beholder. It is OKAY to continue enjoying and identifying with art made by a problematic creator, as long as you are able to enjoy it with a critical eye and do not in any way support or promote the individual responsible. And for the love of Someone, do not blame the victims. Here is where things might get spicy but I'm gonna say it anyways. I hope Good Omens 3, The Sandman, and all this individual's other projects get cancelled. Or, at least the person in question is removed from them altogether, since the other artists who have worked tirelessly to bring these works to life should not have to be punished unless they were in some way culpable or privy to these incidents before the news broke. Victims getting justice and a sex offender facing the consequences of their actions is more important to me than getting another season of a TV show, even if it's one I'm obsessed with and adore. Sadly, I don't think the person who did this will be facing justice at all. They are financially and socially powerful enough for this to get swept under the rug. If the mixed responses I have seen across various platforms is anything to go by, their legions of impressionable fans are already prepared to defend them to the death. Wrong hill to die on, folks. All I can hope is that everyone does not let themselves be manipulated by this grown adult who made the wrong choice to violate consent when they clearly know better. Just remember that even though the news didn't come out until this week, this individual didn't try playing the neurodivergence card until after the most recently reported incident occurred. Whatever they are, it does not excuse them of responsibility for what they've done. They are a dangerous, narcissistic, manipulative person and that is their own fault. They do not need you to defend them, they need to recognize they are the problem, face justice, and get help, hopefully while fading into obscurity for the rest of time. I hope that all the hurting people in the fandom out there can find solace in whatever way they see fit, and if that includes continuing to enjoy the art (seriously, though, pirate it instead) that is okay. We are all deeply affected by these events and how you cope is up to you. But lastly, and most importantly, I hope the victims of these awful crimes can move forward from the trauma this has undoubtedly caused, and that the cruel, misogynistic hand of the internet can leave them alone so they can heal. Can't believe I have to say this in 2024, but blaming the victim is NEVER OKAY even if the perpetrator is someone you like.

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 163 - My Thoughts/Analysis

Three chapters before the end. I don’t expect anything more than a horribly written, badly paced mess of a final few chapters by this point, but maybe the manga will surprise me. By being even worse than I’ve come to anticipate.

Interesting way to start off the chapter. We’re back with Goro for some reason? And Sarina after what is likely some surgery? This definitely didn’t actually happen. It almost reeks of a happy “what-if” scenario right here.

The next few panels seem to solidify that. It’s some sort of delusional happy ending for Sarina and Goro. Neither of them were so lucky in their fates so as to almost get everything they wanted.

Sarina recovering and becoming a B-Koamchi idol alongside Ai…it’s cute and all, but I’m more interested in the why this is being shown rather than marvel at this pitiful attempt at moving the reader’s heartstrings. I’d be more willing to engage with the narrative and have more sympathy for everyone involved here except for the fact that all these recent chapters have just eroded my ability to care with some of the worst writing that I’ve seen in a piece of media since the later seasons of Game of Thrones. Actually no, that’s an insult to GoT—at the very least the earlier seasons of that show were actually good, while as much as people harp on about the earlier parts of OnK, that much is mostly because the anime carried its mediocre story.

Is this a dream? And now we’re back with Aqua and Crow Girl. Are we deus ex machena-ing now?

The world is a virtual image created by observation. Not everything is true. It’s like the world looked completely different before and after you were reborn. Crow Girl is Literally Just Saying Words. It’s so unsubstantial that it feels like I’m chewing on air. These words don’t even fucking relate to this entire dream sequence at large!

In the end, who was I? Are we going to finally get the nail in the coffin for people who don’t want to believe that Aqua=Goro?

Was this actually the wrong choice? AQUA YOU LITERALLY HAD TIME TO CONSIDER THIS POSSIBILITY WHEN YOU PLANNED THIS DOUBLE SUICIDE BULLSHIT. If you were hesitant in leaving everyone else behind, you could’ve, you know, not fucking went after Hikaru after Nino was captured? If he feels sad over leaving people behind there are so many ways for him to survive these contrived series of events that I’m sorry, Aqua you’ve done fucked up. He’s had more than enough time to plan out a series of events that doesn’t end with him dying, so Aqua “regretting” that he might’ve caused more trouble with his actions is just so stupid that it kills my suspension of disbelief faster than Goro falling to his death in the first chapter. 

Through reincarnation, you possessed Goro Amamiya’s memories and will [...] however within your body there are genetic factors that were inherited from Ai and Kamiki. Interesting that she doesn’t mention the concept of a soul here, but everything related to Crow Girl is just a nonsensical thematic mess half the time. Considering that she said that Ai’s children were soulless in one of her first appearances I’m surprised that people take these words to mean that Aqua=/= Goro when the rebuttal to that argument is given so early on in the manga.

This entire bit of Crow Girl hugging Aqua and holding his face and such…I dunno. I don’t quite know how to feel about it? What’s with all this sympathy for Aqua when she was sitting on the fence and giving out breadcrumbs to Aqua and Ruby? If she cared enough to stop this scenario she could’ve easily pulled enough strings as a fucking god to save him, since she is Right There to keep Aqua from dying. I would say that it’s almost out of character, but that gives this series too much credit because Crow Girl is more of a plot device rather than an actual character.

The rest of these scenes are nice except they feel too much like throwing a pity party when Everything that came before it was just so shite that this payoff tastes cheap. I’m supposed to feel emotions coming from this scene, but all I can think of is how fucking stupid these last few chapters were if this was the end result of that entire clusterfuck. It doesn’t hit its mark by a long shot. 

That was all of you, Aqua Hoshino. And with that, all that is left is the keychain. I’m sure that Ruby’s going to be holding onto that keychain for dear life alongside Aqua himself soon enough.

That’s it??? There are—were—four chapters in this blasted manga to get through and THIS is one of those chapters??? As heartbreaking and or heartwarming as this chapter was, it could’ve easily been folded into the last one simply because there wasn’t much substance from this chapter or the last! Hell, even putting that aside, with only a handful of chapters left in the series this chapter should’ve been focused on something more substantial rather than deal with character beats that should’ve been very well established beforehand!

Let’s get down to business. Do I think Aqua is going to live after this chapter? My answer hasn’t changed since the last chapter, but I do have more thoughts to give on it now that this chapter’s dropped.

There are only three more chapters left in this bloody series. Three chapters to wrap up the story as we know it so far. As much as I greatly dislike the way Aqua’s revenge plot has panned out, with Hikaru pretty much down for the count as of this chapter, I think plotline that much has been dealt with. That only leaves a couple of loose ends to wrestle with. If the manga is keeping up this breakneck pace to the end, then I do think it’s possible to wrap this whole mess up. It won’t be the best way to do so by a long shot, but it’ll certainly end. There’s just one thing that I think has to be addressed in the span of these final chapters.

An author has a responsibility to wrap up loose threads when a series inevitably gets closer to the ending. While this series has dispensed with many, many small plot threads that have headed nowhere in order to sprint towards the end of the manga, there is one plotline that I believe needs to be dealt with before the series concludes. The issue of Aqua and his love interests. For better or worse, this plotline has defaulted to one of, if not the main hook of the series since the revenge plot has been so shallow throughout a good majority of the series.

There needs to be a clear “winner” for the Aquabowl, so to speak. 

While fans on all sides will point to various chapters and say, Aqua has romantic feelings for Kana, or, Aqua wants to rekindle his relationship with Akane, or Aqua loves Ruby, the sheer fact that multiple of these interpretations exist within the context of the series itself this close to the ending needs to be addressed. Love triangles often soak the reader with intrigue and suspense before being dispensed of later down the line after it has served its narrative purpose. If the series isn’t going to pivot towards an open ending, then that needs to be addressed before the end.

Killing Aqua off here would render all that utterly meaningless. It would be unsatisfying in a way that would forever damn it simply because of the fact that it’s the equivalent of pushing the reader’s face into a plate of shit and the author saying, “Wow! That’s a good ending because it made you feel bad!”, when after such an event the reader would like nothing more than to refund the time investment they had in said media. It’s daft. It’s insulting. It is essentially telling the fans that all of the time they spent with this character and the romance angle—doubly so because of the fact that this little romance angle had little to no plot relevance for the vast majority of the series—was worth less than nothing because Aqua was going to die all along—and he even didn’t die dramatically, either, though maybe that would’ve softened the blow, but he died in a horribly executed confrontation that culminated in a half baked dream sequence where there were more than a handful of ways for him to come out of it alive.

While there are media that can intentionally make an unsatisfying ending work, with how these past few chapters have been, such an ending would likely fall flat for an abundance of reasons—but since we’re just talking hypotheticals, I won’t make any sweeping statements just yet.

Of course, all of this assumes that the authors are, you know, making good narrative decisions. The buckshot pacing and flow of the last ten, twenty, even thirty chapters have just been a complete garbage heap in quality. There are many things I can feel in predicting within a series that’s still ongoing thanks to performing enough media analysis and understanding how stories like OnK are structured as well as the tropes therein.

What I cannot predict are the authors making irrational(read: BAD) decisions and or torching the media and running. It’s why I was so vehemently against the idea that Akane wearing a fucking wig and disguising herself as Ruby to fool Nino. It’s why having both Aqua and Akane independently coming to the conclusion that Yura was murdered was such a surprise to me. It’s why Aqua meeting Crow Girl offscreen wasn’t something that I’d seriously considered before I read that chapter.

These are, quite frankly, objectively bad decisions. I’d made my disdain for these narrative beats known many, many times throughout my various analyses as well as given my reasoning for Why these decisions are bad, so I’m not going to go over them again, but suffice it to say that these are the type of plot beats that high school teachers tell their students what NOT to do. And yet they happened nonetheless.

I can only predict what a competent author that tries to give payoff to the various plot threads in a piece of media can attempt to do next. What I cannot predict, however, is someone who is haphazardly throwing plot threads and beats around like crumbs throughout the manga with little to no intention of following them up satisfyingly or has any desire to actually pace these chapters with any degree of competence. It’s the equivalent of asking a sane person to try to wrap one’s head around the mind of someone that’s on some of the hardest drugs in the world. There’s literally no use in doing so because both parties have fundamentally different thought processes. The fact that this slop is being published must mean that the editors for this literal godforsaken series must be high, drunk, or are being blackmailed. It’s an insult to all of the actual good manga writers out there that don’t even get a speck of popularity that this series has garnered.

That leads me to my next point. It’s also completely possible that Aqua just fucking dies here. It’d be a horrible decision, don’t get me wrong, but it'd be completely on brand for the series which has already made so many poor choices this close to the end. It’d just be one final shit pie to eat after the author cooked a buffet of garbage.

If that’s the case, I’d expect Ruby following Aqua soon after. Sad, I know, but that girl literally made it her mission to kill Hikaru after she found out that Goro was dead and was willing to go to lengths that Aqua just wasn’t in order to get her revenge. Losing the person she cares about most after finding out he was alive all along only for him to fucking die again??? I wouldn’t be surprised if Ruby just walks into the sea after she hears the news.

Completely unsubstantiated thought that just crossed my mind. Calling it now. Aqua and Ruby both die in the next handful of chapters before they reincarnate once more and then meet each other. It’d be almost an inverse of that whole, “two lovers that committed double suicide get reincarnated as twins” Japanese superstition that I’ve seen talked about. That’d be a godawful ending but we’re already scraping the bottom of the bucket with this series. I wouldn’t put it past this series. It is on the table, after all.

Three chapters left. I’ve lost all hopes for a good ending for the series for some time now, so I’m just sitting on the rollercoaster waiting for the ride to finally come to a close.

[mingiswow]

Chapter 01

CW: hate speech; hate comments; mentions of sexual assault; mentions of homelessness; mentions of drugs; mentions of eating disorders and diet culture, commentary on the industry, YN is introduced as mixed-race, half being Korean, and the other part is never mentioned.

YN's POV

“Soloist yn yln was recently seen at a restaurant in Hongdae with k-hiphop rising star Lee Ryuk” “The love is in the air: yn yln was spotted in Hongdae with Lee Ryuk” “More than just a song, yn yln and Lee Ryuk were seen together in Hongdae this weekend” 1. [+568, -0] Wow I can’t believe they are together. She's so much better alone. He’s just not worthy of her. 2. [+499, -5] yn and Ryuk are great singing together but I don’t want them to be dating.  3. [+486, -0] I just can’t accept that she did that to us! Ryuk is not good for her! 4. [+320, -67] You are all complaining about Ryuk but he’s the best thing yn could get. She’s just famous because she’s the niece of a Chaebol.  5. [+309, -0] Ryuk is not a good man. He smokes and drinks like an old man, yn deserves someone much better and that will treat her right. I bet it is fake. 6. [+225, -6] yn is a grown woman and she can do what she wants but that doesn’t mean I agree with her choices, she deserves so much more than a man-child like him. He mocked a lot of people before and was not held accountable. I don’t believe yn would date him. 7. [+175, -0] I won’t be a yn fan anymore if she confirms to be dating Lee Ryuk. I don’t want to be connected to these types of people.

My manager sighed by my side, her nails insistently tapping on her phone screen, probably dealing with my problems.

“Can you stop reading those stupid comments?” she spoke, her eyes still glued to her phone. The woman didn't even have to turn to you to know what you were doing. 

“I’m being massacred by a relationship that is already over” I turned my head to the window, watching as the quiet morning started to slowly awake. The buzzing started to slowly increase as people started to leave their houses for work. Seoul waking up.

Then there was silence, a quiet agreement between us both that I needed my space and peace before having to deal with the storm of fans outside the music show studio.

My mind was racing with thoughts. I felt guilty, ashamed, embarrassed. All my company’s staff worked hard for me to be where I was in my career; all for me to ruin it because of a shitty fuckboy, because I was dumb enough to fall for his words and charm. 

My management company was nicer than most of the ones in the business, allowing me to be - somewhat - free since I was their biggest name. My albums, shows and merch being their biggest source of income. 

I met Ryuk when we collaborated on one of his songs. He was the rapper, and I was the soothing voice on the chorus and bridge. He was a very talented man, one or two years younger than me, and having debuted a few months more than a year ago. He was nothing but nice, sweet and kind to me, saying romantic and flirty stuff all the time, treating me like a princess. So, me, being the hopeless romantic that I am, fell for him, blinded by all his red flags. 

Ryuk liked to play it cool to the public eye, saying stuff just for the clout, and acting like someone he did not seem to be. Not that I didn’t do that, it was part of our job after all, playing an act for the people who watched us. But his problem was that he was getting more and more problematic with his words. And the worst part was that his company was encouraging him.

Then he started to act like that with me after a few months of dating, showing his true self, ditching our dates - that it took us weeks of preparing since our schedules were always so full - to go out for smoking and drinking with his friends, coming back to my apartment completely drunk and high, asking for things I wasn’t comfortable to give him yet. Not that I was a virgin, it was that I wasn’t comfortable enough with him to do it.

The final drop was when one night he appeared in my apartment out of his mind trying to force me to sleep with him and when I refused he started yelling, spitting at me that I was a prude, then I was a whore, the throwing a bunch of gifts I had just received from my fans on the ground and walls, breaking and destroying them.

Last night we finally met at the same restaurant where he asked me to be his official girlfriend almost a year ago. I forgot to make a reservation so our table was a little visible from the windows, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to end all of this. So I did. I broke up with him and I was really glad I did in a public setting, otherwise, he would probably throw a tantrum. He just resumed his madness sending me a fudging paragraph of a text message, and proceeding to wait for my reaction. The text was far from nice, saying all the worst things and calling me all the worst names someone I thought once loved me could say. But I guess it’s better being written than screamed at my face in front of a bunch of unknown people.

I was so out of my mind, and, not gonna lie, relieved, that I failed to notice the crowd of fansites and paparazzi waiting for us outside the restaurant when we left. I just wanted to leave that place, to go back to my apartment and cry like a little kid in the arms of my manager. No. To cry like a grown woman who had her heart and trust broken.

“The director said we can have a meeting after the recording, is that okay?” I hummed confirming, still not looking at the woman by my side. “YN, sweetie, I know it’s a hard thing for you but soon a new scandal will appear and everyone will forget it” her soft hand caressed the top of my head and down my arms, squeezing my hand warmly.

“I know. I just feel so… disappointed in myself” I turned my attention finally back to her and met her motherly expression looking at me. “All the signs were there and I still chose to ignore it. I’m sorry”.

“Don’t be” Jiah shook her head, her smile never disappearing. “If the director says anything to you, I’m here to defend you, ‘kay? You’re my little girl and I’ll fight for you with my life” I chuckled and nodded, laying my head on her shoulder and letting a few teardrops fall.

Being a soloist was hard, especially after leaving my previous small company when the failed group I debuted in disbanded for an even smaller one. And even more, being a mixed-race idol. But I didn’t give up. I couldn’t give up. Not after so much work put on it. It was my biggest dream, even if that meant I’d have to go under extreme diets, plastic surgery, and training sessions that would last longer than my body could stand.

But I was lucky enough to be found and signed by my current company, they were far from my previous one. And the other ones around. They didn’t pressure me both physically and mentally, they wanted me to be true to myself and my art, wanted me to make good music, with soul, purpose. In the beginning, I didn’t debut per se, I was launched as a regular Korean singer,  outside the k-pop industry. The company, and myself included, didn’t mind if I stayed in the indie valley of Korean music, being known only inside the country, but after my first EP and music video as a solo artist was released, I regained a lot of my fans back, as well as new ones that truly enjoyed my music. I was praised by netizens and music websites articles for my raw and emotional music, which I always proudly said I was the one writing and even helping produce. 

After a few more releases, I was finally invited to participate in my first music show stage.  The rest was just a huge domino effect. Music shows, comebacks, officially being part of the K-Pop Industry™, participating in variety shows, and even having my own vlog series on my YouTube channel.

Me, my company, and all the staff were really happy with my success because they didn’t know if I was going to make it further than a few music shows appearances due to the way I was free to be the most of myself. Truth be told, the industry is merciless, those who don’t look the same, act the same, and even sound the same are ostracized, judged, bullied. I saw some of the prettiest people in the country being bullied online for such stupid things, things that did not make sense anywhere else but this industry. But I made it, I was the point outside the curve, the spark of hope for a change in the business, a role model for girls and boys who looked just like me.

The buzz of the city started to fade in the background as the loud screams of fans outside the studio started to increase closer and closer I got from it. I felt my hands clammy with anxiety, the rate of my heart increased absurdly fast and my breath become quick, short and shallow.

JIah was the first to leave the car, the square sunglasses framing her face perfectly as she walked with her perfect posture, making her look even more professional, and dare me say, scary. She was respected and loved among my fans, everyone knew how hard she worked for me and I always made sure to thank her every time I had the opportunity.

I took a few deep breaths before leaving the black car, shaking my head trying to make the bad thoughts go away and just focus on my fans and performance. As soon I left the car, I was flooded with even louder screams and flashing lights everywhere I looked. If there I was something I would never get used was the camera flashes going off all at the same time. They blinded me and made my head hurt, it even became a joke among my fans that from ten pictures taken of me, nine I would have my face scrunched or my eyes closed.

I bowed and waved to my fans, loads of them holding signs and gifts. I looked over at my manager who bowed her head and I went to talk to the people gathered in the cold air to get a chance to see me. Even after all these years, I still don’t get used to the fact that these people came to see me, to support me and my art. I smiled happily as I signed their albums, pictures, and notebooks, took some selfies with them, recorded special videos for their friends who couldn’t be there. 

I was really glad none of them brought the Ryuk issue up, only asking questions about my music, my comeback, if I had eaten or drunk coffee already, or even saying loving words about my work.

I made a few more poses for the ridiculous amount of cameras before bowing and sending flying kisses to the people and entered the studio, the warmth of the place’s heating system embracing me like a plush comforter was wrapped around my shoulders.

My lungs took the deepest breath I could, the anxiety slowly fading and taking place by another type of anxiety, this one more manageable and already known to my body.

“YN~ssi, please follow me” a girl a few years older than me, and a face of a few friends, called for me and my team. I followed her suit as I bowed and smiled at the other staff and a few other idols I met on the way, making sure everyone was treated equally. “Your performance is in a bit more than an hour, I’ll be calling you fifteen minutes before you go up on stage, make sure to be ready on time” I nodded and she left the room.

“She could at least pretend” Jiah spoke as the door closed in front of us, going straight to the table of goods. I always wondered if the other groups had the same table as me, and if they had, if they were allowed to eat. “Ugh! I love mubank so much, they have the best coffee” the woman grabbed two of the paper cups, giving one of them to me, which I gladly accepted.

After a few sips of coffee, my team finally started to work their magic on me as one of them recorded me for my vlog. 

My concept for this comeback was easily on the list of my favorite ones, it was very colorful, almost decora-like, inspired by the aesthetic of the early 2000’s. My hair was painted in a beautiful pastel shade of pink with half of my bangs and a single thick strand of hair in the front dyed blue. My hairstylist put it up in two high pigtails braided with extensions to make them look fuller and longer. I loved this look so much, It made me feel like a teenager again, being a little rebellious and experimental with my fashion and hair.

When I first debuted I was only sixteen, practically a child, with a mind even younger and immature due to years of training and lack of social interactions outside the company and the girls who would later debut with me. I wasn’t fully aware of the implications of our concept back then, I was just happy that I managed to debut. Being the maknae, I was constantly babied by the girls, the company, and our fans. But some of the fans - especially older men - were very… creepy, to say the least, with me. Both in person and online. I remember being scared of going to fan signs and fan meetings. And reading the things they’d say about me and my body online always made me sick, I hated it. But the company used me and my popularity among those men to the group’s advantage. As the comebacks passed, my clothes started to get smaller and smaller, to the point where my safety shorts were appearing. The choreographies became more explicit and sexual, and I felt like my parts, the ones where I was the the center, were even nastier. 

But, to my company's dismay, that didn’t stop your group from flopping. Two of the girls left due to unfair treatment and payment. They tried to replace them by putting three new members but only a few months after that one of the new girls got involved in a drug and cheating scandal and was kicked out of the group. The company started to treat us badly, not promoting us properly, and abusing us both mentally and physically, until the only two other original members besides me placed a lawsuit against our manager, an old disgusting man, who assaulted us. I didn’t have the money to pay a lawyer to sue them, but I got happy like I did when they won the case. The group was then disbanded and the company shut down.

After that, I felt lost, terrible, useless. I lost all my sense of self. That group was everything I had, everything I was. Without them, who was I? What I was going to do from then on?

For months, I used the little money left to stay at cheap hotels and look for places to work as I also looked for open auditions for other companies. I got severe allergies and rashes from bed bugs and other microscopic beings living in those old beds. I tried to reach what was left of my family but nobody answered, not that I expected them to, but it never hurts to try. 

After all my money was gone, I spent a few weeks going from house to house of my former members, who I still kept and keep contact with, but they also had their issues and I didn’t want to bother them any further. 

Then an angel appeared in my life. Jiah. She met me at my most vulnerable moment. I was sick, anemic, starving. I was living on the streets when she found me and recognized me. Jiah then took me to her house and gave me a warm shower, warmer food, and even warmer clothes. At the time she had a boring office job and was struggling with her at-the-time fiancé. She asked for a sign, something that showed her she needed to change, to leave everything behind and start all over. She considered me her sign. So, after that, she left her fiancé, and figured out she was lesbian, and all that pent-up anger inside her was her internalized homophobia crushing her. She left her job and started to work freelance for some of her previous clients. The real change came when I asked her to become my manager after I signed my new contract. 

Since then, she’s been by my side, being the manager I always needed and the mother I always wanted. 

“Fifteen” I heard the staff’s voice from before sound from the door, awakening me from my trip to memory lane. I was so lost, so disassociated from reality that I even realized I had my hair and makeup done, as well as dressed up.

“How long was I out for?” I asked Jiah, her eyes never leaving her tablet, already used to my moments of introspection. 

“Almost an entire hour” she answered and turned to look at me. “Try not to disassociate when doing other stuff, doll” she winked and nudged my side with a smirk, my cheeks heating at her comment. “Let’s go before I have to deal with that girl again”. 

We both left the dressing room and were met with another group in front of your door coming back from their performance. Their hairs were sweaty, falling to their faces and some of them had even taken part of their outfit off. I saw a camera behind them before bowing politely since they were my sunbaes, well, at least from my solo debut perspective. I excused myself before leaving for my performance but not without noticing a few murmurs and noises from the boys getting behind.

“I think you have famous fans” I jokingly slapped Jiah, giggling as I felt my cheeks heat a little.

Taglist: @venusmoonxnight @hanstarrs @mrskill2 @cupidcures @yoontaethings

[anohai]

A big issue with Seyka’s character arc in Burning Shores...

*clicks tongue* Fuck it. 

I debated over writing this out and posting it. Decided I might as well for not only my personal catharsis, but because it's been over 3 weeks since Burning Shores came out, I have had the time to mull things over more, talk with some friendly people who came to the some of the same conclusions I did, and really analyze everything. I’ve seen a sprinkle of other people expressing something similar to what I am about to cover, but I felt this deserved its own topic of conversation. 

And forewarn, there be spoilers. 

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.

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Of course, we're back to Seyka. I promise I'm not trying to pick on her. She actually has loads of potential, and I don't think she's a bad character. It's just she deserved better than what was shown in her overall character arc.

Last time, I wrote about the Seyloy romance, and why it is difficult (for some more than others) to feel good about it. This critique isn't going to be about that again in case you are wondering if I'm simply yelling louder in the echo chamber, but there will be some correlation to it. The more I played the DLC, the more I realized that while I still wasn’t sold on the romance, it wasn’t the root of why something felt off with Seyka’s story to me. So once the adrenaline of having a new shiny DLC to run around in wore off and was able to properly take my time soaking things in, this was the conclusion I came to: 

The biggest issue with Seyka's entire character arc is that they tried way too hard to make her near-exile situation comparable to Aloy's when it very, very much is not. 

In any capacity whatsoever. As to why? 

Seyka tells us at one point that she loves her tribe, her community, and has always felt she's had a place in it until recently. The reason she's in any hot water at all when we meet her is because she ran off and stole a diviner's focus. Seyka is a marine, not a diviner so we know this is considered a huge taboo among the Quen. They are a sovereign tribe with a classicist system where the people are allowed to know only what is deemed necessary based on their role and/or rank. Should rules be broken, we are left to assume based on our conversations with Alva and even interactions with the Ceo & Overseer Bohai in HFW that the royal family and those in charge are imposing & unforgiving enough that normally there are severe consequences. 

Luckily for Seyka, this isn't the case. 

The first time we follow her back to Fleet's End, we're met with those who are referred to as Compliance Officers who are wanting a nasty word or two with our new friend. We are brought to Admiral Gerrit, the real person in charge, and he is....actually quite understanding of Seyka's actions. He gives her a quick verbal slap on the wrist but proceeds to give her full permission to continue her search for her sister and their other missing people with the stolen focus on hand. He's humble enough to tell Aloy in a private conversation afterwards if you choose to talk to him that their faction of the expedition has been spread thin enough as it is and Seyka has already proven herself to be a valuable and skilled member. Enough so that he admits he’s become increasingly reliant on her regardless of only being a petty officer in title. This assessment is fair and kind. It’s more than I would have expected out of someone with such a high position among the Quen of all tribes. 

Seyka is given a huge safety net thanks to this swell guy. The compliance offers themselves can't do anything, and from what we see in the side quests, they are seemingly nothing more than a few school-yard bullies without any real authority to their position. They are annoying & petty at worst. All bark, no bite. As far as the rest of the Quen go, most individuals we come across seem either pretty cool or neutral with Seyka. It's not until later that we get any indication  there are some who are calling for her exile afterall, but we only know this because we hear it from Seyka instead of seeing it happen. People are talking, as they will, and she's furious about it. 

But really....the threat still isn't there. It never was. At least not to the extent I think we are supposed to believe it was. 

All things considered, Seyka was placed in a very privileged, advantageous position amongst those in her tribe. Along with the lack of visible threat, there is never any real tension shown minus a few grumblings expressed in the background when we first arrive in Fleet’s End. And despite how Aloy perceives her, Seyka isn’t exactly a black sheep here. Especially when you consider she never had any personal turmoil with the rest of her tribe until not long before the events of Burning Shores and happily tells you herself she has always felt like she’s belonged. She's pretty much allowed to do what she wants without much pushback, and I found myself rolling my eyes during the final scene where she says she's unsure of where she stands with her tribe. Seyka is not an outcast, and I, for one, was never convinced or afraid she was at real risk of becoming one. 

Which makes this all the more confusing when Aloy says she's an inspiration. An outcast in all but name. I'm willing to chalk some of this up to hormones talking and Aloy's growing infatuation taking a choke hold as most first time crushes will do. Except the problem here is that the writing clearly felt like we were meant to connect Seyka's strife with Aloy's on some level; carry the same sympathy for her that Aloy expresses, and see more of where their similarities hold up. 

And yet...

I felt more for Kotallo who was kicked from his initial clan because his leader saw him as a threat and then later, might as well have gotten demoted for losing an arm because his tribe sees him as near useless for it..

And Zo who lives among the most pacifist, peace-loving tribe and was admonished when she not only went to fight back in the Red Raids, but wanted to do something about the blight and their broken Land Gods..

And Talanah who had to fight against blatant sexism that many carry in her tribe and an actual attempt for her murder all because she wanted to move up in the Lodge and make things better..

And Aloy, herself, who was outcast at birth for simply being born without a mother. And spent her entire life with only the man who raised her for company. In one small valley. For 19 years. Because there was no choice for her. 

But somehow, we're supposed to see Seyka the same way Aloy does? Like no one she's ever met??

I...Really? 

I'm sorry, but I don't buy this rebel fighter, near-outcast ploy here. And saying she's unlike anyone Aloy has ever met feels like a slap in the face to not only Aloy, herself, but to some of her companions we have come to know & love in the first two games. Most of whom I'd argue have been through more hell because of their own tribes long before they even met her. Seyka's plight is trivial, inconsequential in comparison and no where near as crippling as Aloy's was or her friends. It's honestly frustrating that it feels suggested it is. 

What's worse is that this plotline is used as one big narrative tool to bring Seyka and Aloy closer on standing grounds outside of ability and personality. This essentially means Seyka and her entire character arc were written for the sole purpose of the romance. A character built for Aloy to quickly fall head over heels for and add progress in her own arc. I wrote last time that I can see this growth as an opportunity to explore romance further for Aloy with a pre-established character or two in H3. If I’m right & that happens to be the heart-wrenching, long-term, master plan Guerilla is going for, they have my applause (and my stress). Great for Aloy. In my opinion though, being created to be a love interest (lasting or not) for the main hero is a bit unfair to Seyka. 

She's clever, she's badass, and she isn't afraid to take action without permission and help where she can. Next to Aloy, however, she stands as a self-reflection of her. A spotless mirror as to who Aloy could have been had she grown up under a community as well. I would love to see Seyka break out on her own as an individual character that isn't in the context of romance if ever given the opportunity. 

Heck, if Guerilla wanted to in the eventuality they will be finished with Aloy's story, the Quen have easy potential to have an entire spinoff game revolved around them. We have a whole side quest in BS where a small group of Quen want to sneak focuses to non-diviners for the sake of knowing what's usually kept hidden from them. Hello, is that the beginnings of a rebellion, I see? And the world of Horizon has yet to be explored in places outside of the North American continent. Other tribes, different machines, more Old World locations, etc. Loads of potential everywhere. And guess what!? We practically have a budding main character on a silver platter: Seyka! She obviously has big enough main character energy. Might as well utilize it outside of a DLC if you can, and I don't mean for the next game. 

It's hard say for sure whether or not Seyka will remain a DLC character. No matter what fans say, the ending was left ambiguous. Not only because of the romance but also where Seyka's future lies. She knows about Nemesis, yet she tells Aloy she's unsure of what she wants to do after her faction reunites with the other half in San Francisco, whether it's going home or something else. I would think if Guerilla had solid plans to include her in H3 while they were developing Burning Shores, they would have written the ending where she either offers to stay behind in Legacy’s Landfall for a time like Alva does or Aloy asks for her aid to help fight against Nemesis. Something to make it more clear she's here to stay. We don't though, so as far as anyone outside of Guerilla is currently aware, Seyka is not guaranteed to play a big part in H3 if any at all. And remember, DLCs are meant to be an extension of the main game and are primarily optional. They are typically not a requirement for playing the next big installment as far as understanding the story goes. 

If she does show up in H3, the only thing I dread is the idea of her coming up and saying she's basically denounced her tribe because she still feels out of place and doesn't think she can belong afterall. Not to mention she has her sister, and after what happened with Kina, it would be a really bad look if she just decided to permanently leave her behind when her tribe isn't or never was trying that hard to push her away in the first place. And Seyka said it herself. She’s “not some weak-kneed sailor who abandons ship when the seas get rough,” and I’d like to believe she means it. It'd be one thing if she actually is forced into exile, but after the events of the DLC, she has too good of a repertoire for that to happen now. At least while she's outside of Quen homelands. 

(Btw, don't even get me started on Aloy's convo with Kina over "remember Seyka's been through a lot too" as if we didn't just rescue this poor girl from A CULT and nearly groomed into becoming this centuries-old dude's image of his dead wife. Like honey, I know you're in love but have some thought & tact here.) 

That’s about it. I will reiterate that as a character, I do actually like Seyka. As a self-imposed outcast? No. As Aloy’s love interest? That…needs some serious work. But as an individual who loves her tribe but will fight for what she believes in even if it means going against the royal, societal grain? Absolutely! And special kudos to Kylie Liya Page for bringing her to life. 

Also, if you want to read a review that summarizes everything I just ranted about better than I could manage, along with everything good and not-so-great when it comes to the DLC, I recommend this essay here by ariseis. 

If you made it to the end of this long rant, thanks for reading~ 

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Morning or evening! Depending on where you are lol

I've got an au for you! I'm at work at the moment, so I'm sorry if this is all over the place lol

We're over the drama and moving on lol

So this is an official ask about our new fluffydemon!Adam au! My names literally suck so please change it if you think of something better. It's so early where I am, my brain is lowkey fried- but I'm trying 💀

So, it takes place after Adam dies in episode 8 (I think that's the last episode?) And he respawns in Hell, but in another Ring. I've never seen Halluva Boss, so I'm not sure which Ring would be better? Lust, Greed or Wrath? Maybe Lust? Or Wrath. Adam as pretty angry for a while (not that it matters to the story 🤷).

I don't know if Helluva or Hazbin have actually shown demons in an episode? I personally wouldn't count sinners as demons, even though I've heard them be referred to as demons. But for this, demons aren't really a thing, so Adam would be the first Demon.

He's not technically Hellborn. He can't die of old age like a Hellborn, but if he gets hurt and dies, he will come back after regenerating, like a sinner.

So, I guess you could say he's a mixture of Hellborn and sinner, and because of that, he can travel between Rings.

He's definitely made a name for himself in Lust and Greed (I know there's other Rings, I just don't have any ideas for them? If you do, please add them in! It'll be super interesting!)

His first big thing was being a singer/ performer in Greed, doing some shows for Mammon, where he got extremely popular. He even started doing some work for Ozzy- we both know what type of work 👀

I'm thinking where our rp picks up with be 10-15 years after he died in Hell, so you know, a good chunk of time. Adam is really popular in a few different Rings, but this'll be his first time back in Pride.

He's doing sex work for his manager back in Lust, who got him a temporary contract with Val- it's only ment to be six months but Val being Val basically manipulates Adam, and makes him dependent on him. So he actually manages to get Adam into a full contract.

I'm adding bits of another au I've told you about, just because their basically the same thing. So this one will be merging with the fliffywhore!au- where Adam is basically like Angel Dust. So, I'll attach some screenshots of my ask to help the story along (and to stop my thumb from cramping 💀)

Now, I'm a tad suspicious as to why my screenshots where so recent in my gallery so I have a feeling I might have already sent them to you? Actually, now that I'm really thinking about it, I sent this to you not long ago... well. My memory is completely shot 💀

ANYWAY. This is the official story guideline, ignore everything else I've ever sent to you 😅

I'm definitely not embarrassed 💀

Feel free to start us off for a rp if you'd like- it can be from any point that interests you! If you'd like me to start one, just shout out lol

I'd love to hear any ideas you have for this one, i think I've included some of the ideas we discussed a few days ago, so yeah 😝

His manager down in Lust is going to be pissed, but there are just so many more clients here and Adam was going to be making double the money.

A little longer with this Val guy couldn't hurt.

Val: You won't regret it. What's another six months?

Adam looked at the contract carefully, he knew people were shady and would word things very carefully to get exactly what they want.

Adam: Only six more months?

Val: Yes! I promise you'll do great you already have.~

Adam wrinkled his nose, this guy was gross but he paid well. He signed his name in the contract.

Worst thing he could have done.

[messrsrobyn]

Ok nobody I’ve asked seems to give me a direct answer so I figured I’d just voice all my concerns with you? You don’t have to answer everything 😭😭

When it comes to fandom friends how do you move from just being moots to being friend friends? I saw a video you made about it when somebody had asked you a similar question but I’m really struggling with getting them to feel like friends and not just random accounts in my phone.

I’ve seen videos people have made and you guys are sharing jokes in the comments. I saw video of 3 girls that said “Us when anyone hates on mesrsrobyn” and you said like “Fan behaviour” which obviously shows that you’re actually their friend and you’re just teasing them.

Also how do you find people who are ok with you not responding all the time (😭😭😭) I’m just genuinely not active very much on any forms of social media. I was in a marauders gc and I was really happy thinking I was gonna make fandom friends but because I wasn’t active all the time they had a bunch of inside jokes I didn’t get and I kinda felt like an outsider.

Most of the people I see you interacting with online seem really cool and fun, so I’m just wondering where to find people like that. Just genuinely from posting?

I’m sure I’ve worded all this so strangely but honestly I’m sad because I’ve been in this fandom for 3 years in November and I have made no real lasting friendships. I feel like you yapping so much LOL

IK THE VIDEO 😭 my besties yup !!

this is long so i'm putting the lil dashy line thingy

i have v limited advice actually bc i don't think i've initiated many of my friendships in fandom?? despite how little i stfu, i'm a shyyy person. i get scared to text first.

my BIGGEST bit of advice is take. it. off. the. app.

i try to get discords mainly (bc i use it most) but once you take it off of tiktok or wherever you met it feels so much less like mutuals. like yes, we met in fandom but now we are discussing our plans for the day and getting to know each other as Robyn not Messrsrobyn.

i made most of my friends from posting !! i made my account as a whole to meet people and (ive been flagging a bit recently actually but) i always try to reply to EVERYONEEE. so most of my friends were just people that commented that i replied to, their name kept popping up in my notifs? boom. friends. one of them said they loved crimson rivers so next time i found an edit i sent it to them.

ALSO !! i'm so bad at replying.

servers im more active in i think, but just... dms? not very good at all. anyone that doesn't respect that or gets mad? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ i dont want them as a friend.

like it's frustrating i know! i hate the amount of lil red bubbles i have on every single app but it doesn't mean i value my friends any less and they all know that <3 we don't always have the time or capacity to reply and that's okie.

i tend to get it out the way immediately and test the waters. just a lil "btw i'm really sorry for my reply times! i'm not the best at it but feel free to double text me as much as you want" and always make sure that i follow up on everything that's been said whilst i wasn't replying.

im rambling a bit i fear but the right friends won't get mad at it, or make you feel less important bc of it. it might just take some time to find them but You Will.

i feel like i havent actually given much advice?? i'm genuinely so so so lucky to have found the friends that i have but i did nothing. i think i said in a few of my tiktoks rightttt at the beginning that my dms were open for friends and then i think? hope? that i've kept that energy going of like someone that anyone can message and i'll get back to them (at some point 😭 my tiktok dms are a mess but thats an issue for future robyn) so i've been able to just sit back and naturally find them.

i live by the motto of "the worst they can do is not reply" every time i send a comment or dm to a new person

we're all just losers reading fanfiction !! we all want lil friends to talk to about it so interaction and reaching out gives us that BUT it's the taking it off of the app that takes it from mutuals to friends imo.

this is UNNECESSARILY LONG omg. i never know how to answer these ones but i hope it helps a lil? <3 social interaction is NOT my finest point. potentially my worst i fear.