#jujutsu kaisen abridged

[howlingday]

Whitley: Hey, Jaune, can I ask you something?

Jaune: Yeah, what's up, Whitley?

Whitley: Why are you... trying so hard to be my friend?

Jaune: Well... because you seem cool! I mean, who wouldn't want to be your friend?

Salem: (In Jaune's head) I thought it was because you heard his mom was a MILF?.

Jaune: NOPE! Nothing to do with your mom! Just wanted to be bros!

Whitley: Oh! Well, thanks, Jaune. This may be a bit sad, but... You're my one and only friend.

Jaune: Uuuh... Yeeeah...

Salem: Oh, Brothers! Kill him before he gets attached!.

Willow: Whitley! There you are~!

Whitley: Mom?!

Salem: Oh, shit! She is a MILF!.

Willow: Who's your friend?

Jaune: The name's Jaune Arc! Me and Whitley are best friends! You must be his older sister.

Willow: Ufufu~! That's sweet of you, but I'm actually his mother~.

Jaune: No! You don't look a day older than... me~!

Willow: Hmhmhm~! Your friend is funny, Whitley.

Jaune: (Thinking) Oh, I am so in~!.

Salem: SWITCH WITH ME NOW!.

Jaune: (Quietly) Not now, Salem! You're gonna fuck this up!

Willow: Well, I'm about to cook dinner. Whitley, why don't you bring your handsome friend along?

Jaune/Salem: OH, WE ARE SO IN~!.

[simplegenius042]

Fallout Casting for Ryomen Sukuna Matata for Jujutsu Kaisen Abridged react fic

"Fuck school! Be crime! Do gay!" - Ryomen Sukuna, Episode 2 JJK Abridged (by the Schmuck Squad).

Reasons To Why I Believe These Characters Should Be Casted listed below the cut:

Richard Grey/The Master (the leader of the Super Mutant Army and the main antagonist of Fallout (1997), seeking to evolve humanity into super mutants with the Forced Evolutionary Virus (FEV), however, is stopped by the Vault Dweller, Elrand Brandt, and his companions via the power of persuasion) -> Mostly the grotesque way his body is morphed and stuff, but you can imagine his mouth opening on Ryder's body like Sukuna does on Itadori's body.

Sulik (a tribal looking to save his sister in Fallout 2, was saved by the Chosen One, Finidy Mona, and joined her as a companion to find the GECK, while she also helps him save his sister from slavers) -> It's mostly his tattoos that got me to choose him as a potential candidate.

Stanislaus Braun (the Overseer of Vault 112 in Fallout 3, Braun is a sadistic old man who regularly tortures his captives in a world of virtual reality, but had known the location and use of the GECK, which lead James Dolen to seek him out (only to be transformed into a dog), but was later outwitted by Alph inside the VR world and Amata from within Vault 112) -> Evil for the sake of being evil? Hates a kid for no reason? Would definitely take over somebody's body if given the chance? Sukuna candidate.

Yes Man (a securitron Benny had tampered with to help him overthrow House, is key to the Independent Vegas ending of Fallout New Vegas. Courier Six, aka Ryder, finds him in Benny's penthouse, and teams up with the securitron to save Benny from Caesar and overthrow House together) -> Listen he's too cheery for his own good. And sarcastic too. Like Abridged Sukuna.

DiMA (the synth co-leader of Acadia in Fallout 4 Far Harbor DLC. He is also the "brother" of Nick Valentine, the person who gets the Sole Survivor, Nate, to admit that he's likely a synth himself and has been involved in the sketchy shit around Far Harbor) -> Though the least potent candidate, what cannot be denied is that DiMA disregards everything about morality when it comes to doing what he thinks is the ways things should be.

The Scorchbeast Queen (the motherfucking progenitor of the Scorched disease and the final boss of Fallout 76 (if players nuke her nest at Fissure Site Prime). The Resident, Vega, only survives her encounter with the Scorchbeast Queen because of the FEV that had partly transformed her) -> She looks as ugly as Sukuna's fingers.

John Henry Eden (the President who runs the Enclave in Fallout 3, has all the personalities of the past presidents copied and downloaded into his A.I. He intended to use the water purifier to release a modified FEV into the water to kill anyone with a trace of radiation in them. He attempted to get Amata onboard with this plan, but since it would technically kill Alph, Amata convinced the president to give her the virus to "use" and tricked Eden into self-destructing and run like hell while Raven Rock fell down around her, towards Alph and his companions who were fighting outside trying to get to her inside) -> Eden and Sukuna are all aboard the murder express.

Dean Domino (one of Ryder's temporary companions in Fallout New Vegas Dead Money DLC. He was friends with Frederick Sinclair and had used Vera Keyes to get him one step closer to the Sierra Madre vault, however America being nuked interrupted this heist and lead him to being ghoulified, and while trying to get into the Sierra Madre, had been forced by Father Elijah to help him get into the resort. Dean eventually betrays Ryder inside the Sierra Madre, having been unable to comprehend someone could be as smart as him, which leads to him getting filled with lead) -> Dean Domino is a selfish bastard, Ryomen Sukuna is a selfish bastard.

Dr Klein (a brain apart of the Think Tank in Fallout New Vegas Old World Blues DLC, he was the director of the Big MT. His speakers are set on a loud volume and he is quite an arrogant punk. Klein and the rest of the Think Tank had vivisected Ryder, taking her heart and spine (and losing her brain to Dr. Mobius) and would only allow her to leave if she dealt with Mobius and gave them the resources to explore the Mojave from the safety of Big MT) -> As loud as Abridged Sukuna is.

Ishmael Ashur (the leader of the Pitt in Fallout 3 The Pitt DLC, though he is the big boss of slavers and raiders, Ashur is trying to humanely find a cure for the Trog which his daughter Marie seems to be immune to. However, the Lone Wanderer, Alph's appearance in the Pitt shakes things up) -> If Ashur just lost his benevolent intentions behind his actions and was doing things for the evils, he could be a lot like Sukuna.

God (the alter who acts as the "conscience" to a nightkin called Dog in Fallout New Vegas Dead Money DLC, he looks out for Dog and wants to kill Father Elijah so badly. Ryder helps both Dog and God make peace with each other and merge them both into a new personality) -> God is the voice in Dog's head, and his voice is quite menacing. Like Sukuna, though Sukuna is more malevolent than God.

Remember, for the alternative option, REBLOG and put in the tags WHO else from the Fallout franchise should be Abridged!Megumi and WHY you think they'd better suit the role. Also if there is a tie, then a repost will be made with only the tied candidates, and you'd have to pick from them.

I've also created and will continue to update (until the polling is done) a Master List for the poll results of the casted winners. You can find it right here.

You can find my Fallout OC profiles Master List right here, which also includes a link to the original post where I pitched my react fic idea. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, chow!

[smply-sktchng]

total bros

[theirishneko]

Shirt finished!! #jujutsukaisen #jujutsukaisenabridged

[pacing-er]

Highly recommend this abridge for any JJK Fan! It's legitimately very funny and the creator isn't afraid to make the characters gay 🥰

[nouveauxamoris]

someone’s been watching 2 much hood jjk (the someone is me)

RBS APPRECIATED!

[nevermoredragon-main]

I think a really good example for a character arc for Junpei if he had survived would be SAO *ABRIDGED* Kirito.

[kcuf-ad]

Choso: Hi, I am Choso and I am here with your boyfriend.

Nobara: Megumi is with you?

Choso: No, the other one, my baby brother.

Nobara: Didn't I kill your brother?

Choso: Look are we just going to sit around talking about your boyfriends or are we going to get you out of here?!

[epickiya722]

"Quit bitchin' in my kitchen... AND LET ME COOK!" 🤝 "Roses are red, weapons against me won't prosper. With this sacred treasure I summon Big Raga, the Opp Stoppa."

Lines said in abridged JJK videos that Megumi says that I think are both funny and fire.

[belladonazeppole]

How to resume the fights so far

Sukuna, to himself: "First immortality. Then the b*tches." *goes to the fight* Sukuna: Do you really believe your own hype that much? Gojo:*shouts* I am the hype! *kills Gojo* Sukuna, sees Kashimo: Wait... I see a light. Itadori: Walk towards it! *kills Kashimo* Sukuna: So, brat, what are you doing here? Yuji: Oh, you know, just, flying around. Sukuna, cross his arms: Ooohh, just flying around? Yuji: Just flying around. Sukuna: Thwarting my plans? Yuji: Thwarting your plans? Sukuna: Are you? Yuji, sarcastic: No. Sukuna: Good, 'cause that would be bad. Yuji: How bad? Sukuna: I'd have to kill you. Yuji, ready to fight: That's bad. Sukuna, smirks: Indeed

***Meanwhile***

Kogane, about Takaba: Seriously, what do you see in that guy? Kenjaku: He makes me laugh.

[casliveblog]

This speech is all I was thinking of when Gojo comes back as a demigod to kick Megumi Sr.'s ass in.

[howlingday]

Previously

Willow/Jaune: (Laughing)

Jaune: You're so nice, Mrs. Schnee. Your husband is a very lucky man.

Willow: Oh, my husband passed away years ago.

Jaune: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Whitley: What?! You and Dad divorced two months ago!

Willow: Shut it, Whitley, you're going to ruin this for me!

Jaune: Uh... So you're single then?

Willow: And ready to mingle~!

Salem: (Inside Jaune's head) SWITCH WITH ME NOW, BROTHERS DAMN YOU!.

Jaune: (Quietly) Shut up! Let me cook!

Willow: I didn't know my son had such charming and handsome friends~.

Whitley: Mom... Please... Stop flirting with my friends! This is why I get bullied!

Jaune: Don't worry, Mrs. Schnee! I'll protect your son!

Willow: Aw~! You're like an older brother to him~.

Jaune: So long as I can call you, "Mommy~"! (Winks)

Willow: Eheeheeheehee~!

Whitley: I think I'm gonna throw up...

Willow: Oh, hush, Whitley! It's getting late. Why don't you go back to your room now?

--------------------------------------------------

Whitley: (Laying in his room)

Jaune/Willow: (Distant laughing)

Willow: Oh, you're so strong,~!

Whitley: (Grumbles)

Jaune: Wanna see something cool~?

Salem: GET THAT ASS OVER HERE~!

Willow: Oh my~!

Whitley: (Thinking) Jaune Arc... I thought you were my friend! YOU'RE A TRAITOR!.

[simplegenius042]

The Repost on Fallout Casting for Megumi Fushiguccicakes for Jujutsu Kaisen Abridged react fic

"I like gigantic, heaving sophistication. Sopping wet tenderness! And a big! Fat!! Gaping sense of compassion!!!" - Megumi Fushiguro, Episode 5 JJK Abridged (by The Schmuck Squad).

As stated in the first Megumi Fushiguro casting poll post here, the cast options will only include the characters who were in the tie. It is up to you to break this tie once and for all by voting for one of the Fallout characters below:

Reasons To Why I Believe These Characters Should Be Casted listed below the cut:

Alph Dolen (my Fallout 3 Lone Wanderer OC, faceclaim Sam Blackensee) -> He's got daddy issues.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy/"Cass" (a caravan owner from Fallout New Vegas before the Van Graffs and the Crimson Caravan worked together to destroy it, Cass drunk her sorrows away at an NCR Mojave outpost, until Ryder showed up to get her contract, though managed to barter her way into getting Cass to give up her caravan name but ensuring she still gets the opportunity to start again. Impressed, Cass journeys with Ryder to New Vegas to find Benny, and Ryder helps her find justice and learn to live. Has a heart condition inherited by her father, John Cassidy) -> Cass has a father who abandoned her, like Toji did to Megumi, and her sarcasm bites.

Danse (from Fallout 4, a loyal Paladin in Maxson's chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel, helps Nate get onboard the Prydwen and meet Maxson, a capable ally who warms up to Nate, despite his xenophobic beliefs, has a crisis after finding out his entire life has been a lie when discovering he was a synth the whole time and the group who gave him purpose have turned their back on him. Nate though doesn't give up on him and gets him out of the BoS without being killed, and gives him a place amongst the Minutemen, which Danse was greatly appreciative and grateful for. It's a long journey, but he is letting go of the hatred he had towards others and himself) -> Danse's sarcasm would probably be confusing. Also man understands the importance of BROtherhood, coming from the Brotherhood of Steel. Spends more time getting stronger to avenge his teammates than looking to get hitched.

Miria (from Fallout 2, Finidy's wife after both were caught in the act by Miria's father, Grisham, causing a shotgun wedding, and throughout their journey together they become closer and Miria becomes a rather cool fighter, unlike in canon but the mods are impressive) -> Perhaps the least "Megumi" like person here, but she would call someone out for being stupid probably (she's had to deal with Davin after all).

I've also created and will continue to update (until the first set of cast polling is done) a Master List for the poll results of the casted winners. You can find it right here.

You can find my Fallout OC profiles Master List right here, which also includes a link to the original post where I pitched my react fic idea. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this, chow!

[misterbaritone]

Of all things that could’ve convinced to me to finally sit down watch Jujutsu Kaisen I never would’ve guessed it would’ve been an abridged parody. I pray this one doesn’t let me down the way others have.

[projectcaramel]

Obey Me! Random Headcanon #7

The Brothers' Favorite Anime

Lucifer

Well-Known - SPY X FAMILY; he thinks it's cute and appreciates the sentiment of being able to live in a happy family despite the secrets hidden away. For obvious reasons, he relates to Loid the most.

More Obscure - THE CASE STUDY OF VANITAS; he likes the portrayal of vampires and likes to compare it to Bram Stoker's Dracula. His favorite character is Dominique de Sade, whom he refers to as "tragic and feisty."

Mammon

Well-Known - ONE PIECE; he's just one of those people that loves to scream "THE ONE PIECE IS REAAAALLLL" and likes the treasure-hunting aspect combined with the camaraderie.

More Obscure - BLUE EXORCIST; funny, right? He used to mock Satan every time his name popped up until the couch was destroyed. He thinks Rin is cool and argues with Lucifer all the time that he's better than Yukio.

Leviathan

Well-Known - SWORD ART ONLINE; Levi likes the concept more than the characters if he's honest, but he thinks Heathcliff is a total boss.

More Obscure - THE EMINENCE IN SHADOW; like many people who watch Isekai, Levi thinks the tropes start to get a little too copy-and-paste after a while, and he appreciates the parody. He loves Cid and goes into great detail to explain why the anime is genius.

Honorable mention - SAO ABRIDGED because Levi also loves it 10x more than the original even if it's fan-made.

Satan

Well-known - BLACK BUTLER; A revenge plot mixed up with detective stories and a cruel demon butler that loves cats? He vibes with Sebastian and would like him *just a little more* if Levi hadn't pointed out that he looks like Lucifer.

More Obscure - MORIARTY THE PATRIOT; it's Sherlock but anime; what more could he ask for? When asked who his favorite character is, he usually can't decide between the Moriarty's because he likes all of them for different reasons and usually says William by default.

Asmodeus

Well-Known - INUYASHA; Loves it for the romance and thinks Inuyasha and Kagome make a great couple. He even likes the "Inuyasha... Kagome... Inuyasha! ... Kagome!" moments.

More Obscure - KAGUYA-SAMA LOVE IS WAR; Wants to kiss half of the cast because they're beautiful and will sometimes yell at the screen when Shinomiya and Shirogane misunderstand each other (he ships it hard).

Beelzebub

Well-Known - VIOLET EVERGARDEN; he cries every single time, but he loves it because Violet reminds him of Lilith, and he likes how it has a hopeful ending.

More Obscure - FOOD WARS!; It's literally a cooking show, and he couldn't be happier. The fanservice often goes over his head until one of his brothers mumbles something about it, at which point he might feel embarrassed.

Belphegor

Well-Known - JUJUTSU KAISEN; he likes it because it's more on the dark side; his favorite character is Mahito and has remarked at least once that he thinks it would be fun to carry humans in his pocket like that (he said this specifically to scare you).

More Obscure - MAOU-JOU DE OYASUMI; he loves this series because it's all about his favorite past-time. He often writes down what Princess Suyaris says, muttering "wow, I never thought about doing that..."

-- Caramel: I have watched a lot of anime. It was difficult to narrow down a list of more than 80 to 14, but I hope you enjoyed! --

[pancake-breakfast]

Episode 1(ish) of Jujutsu Kaisen (abridged)

Yuki Itadori: I LOVE being part of the Supernatural Club! Come forth, spooky spookies!

Supernatural Club Members (all two of them, plus Itadori): Come forth, spooky spookies!

Bullies: You guys can't be here. This is our club room.

SCM: You're not using it, so yes, we can!

Class President: Seriously, you can't be here. You're not even a real club.

SCM: Yes, we are! We have enough members and everything!

Class President: No, you don't.

SCM: Yes, we do!

Coach: No, you don't, 'cause I signed Itadori up for MY club, the Track and Field Club!

SCM: Say what?

Class President: Say what?

Itadori: Yeah, no. Sounds boring.

Coach: Too bad. I'm the adult here, so I win.

Class President: There is so much wrong with what you're doing.

Coach: Fine. If Itadori can beat me in a track and field competition, he can stay in his dumb club for dumb nerds.

Class President: That's not how--

Itadori: You're on.

**Later, on the track field**

Coach: *throws a shot put, scores terrifyingly close to the world record* Ha! Guess who's gonna be joining the Track and Field Club for real now!

Everyone except Itadori: Holy crap, Coach is good! I guess that's it for...

Itadori: *throws shot put, casually smashes world record**

Coach: :O

Everyone Else: :O

Itadori: Yeah, so, Imma go back to Supernatural Nerd Club now. Peace out, yo.

**A day or two later**

Itadori: So... turns out Supernatural Club got too supernatural. I had to eat a desiccated finger and now I'm super-cursed, so now I have to transfer schools.

SCM: We'll miss you.

Itadori: I'll miss you, too. You guys are the best.