#jokes on you James ISN'T innocent

[jamestheenderman]

How are ender babies made?

[[ Not sorry xD ]]

[e-nonsense]

hello girly! can i request for roses in lace if it isn't hassle for you dear!

a scenario where we end up turning the tables on him, just to get him flustered and embarrassed maybe with some suggestive jokes, freaky invitations since he keeps telepathically talking to them so thats her way of getting back at him and she just enjoys how he fumbles

hes so gorgeous i swear, got me going feral for him fr!! anyways feel free to ignore this if it doesnt interest you, have a lovely day <3

MENTALLY VULGUR

pairing. charles xavier x fem!reader

warning. smut, oral (69, m&f), post cuba (he’s in the chair), charles being a cutie

a/n. i love love that picture of james, he looks so cute. did i write my longest smut fic for a character ppl dont read? yes

it started innocently, little flashes of the two of you cuddling in bed together, you completely thrown over him, then he started speaking in your mind. little teasing remarks that he’d act innocently about later.

you’d decided to turn it against him.

“may i add that you look stunning in that dress”

“you should see me without it then.”

you held back the giggle when you saw him pause, you could hear his brain go blank at your innuendo before he cleared his throat, shooting you a flustered smile before pretending to have not heard anything and he went back to grading papers.

you realised since then he’d had a tendency to stay out of your head, well he wasn’t speaking in it anymore but you’d still get the little flashes of his fantasy’s with you.

“you’re a little psychic perv, Charles.” you whispered low into his ear, you’d been pushing his wheelchair along the pathway outside, taking him for his usual rounds around his land, he liked getting out of the school everyday, especially if you were the one he’d be spending that time with.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

you hum softly in response, “take a look inside my head, sweetheart. you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

he can’t help his curiosity sometimes so he does, he takes a little peek inside your thoughts, his lips parting in surprise at the image at the front of your mind.

him under you, very much naked.

“oh my..” he mutters, blue eyes widening comically. he looked cute as he turned his head to look at you, before turning away just as fast, flustered.

“what’s wrong, Charles?” you practically purr, amusement dripping from your voice. “you started it.”

you hear him grumble, a whining edge to his voice. “stop teasing.”

“make me,” you reply, lifting his hand up, your chin on his shoulder as you lean down, you place two of his fingers against your temples. “c’mon, sweetheart. if you want me to stop so badly, make me.”

instead of listening he uses his mutation to make you take him back to the manor, straight to his bedroom. it’d be a struggle if you weren’t telekinetic, he smiled as you pressed several kisses against his cheek, returning the favour when you sat yourself on his lap.

he sat up, leaning back against the headboard of his bed for support, one of his hands on your hip and the other on the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.

your kiss was consuming, like he was trying to possess you, to physically bind you to him so he could kiss you like this forever. his gasp made your stomach flutter, you feel his half hard on pressing against you.

he’d clearly liked the image you put in his head earlier.

your fingers tugged his jacket off, tugging his shirt off over his head, his body shivering at the cold air hitting his pale skin.

his fingers tugged at your shirt, helping you pull it off. his eyes immediately dropping to your chest, unclipping your bra and tossing it to the side.

“you’re beautiful.”

he didn’t waste a second before grabbing them, eyes darkened with desire, his fingers pinching your nipple as your hands went to his pants, undoing his zipper and button and dragging it down his legs along his his boxers.

he flushed as he sat naked in front you, hands sagging to his sides now that your boobs were out of reach, you’d heard his grumble of complaint about that.

you didn’t wait much longer before you stripped down yourself, tossing your remaining clothes into the pile with his.

charles’ eyes lit up, an idea in his head before he flashed it into your mind. no verbal communication needed, he wanted to taste you.

you helped him lie down on his back properly, before adjusting yourself on top of him. stomach to stomach, pussy hovering over his face, and his crotch in front of yours.

he dragged your hips down, so you were no longer hovering over him, your core meeting his mouth, his tongue darting out to taste you.

your hand pumped his half hard cock, spitting on it to lubricate and you felt his groan vibrating against you. your lips parted as you took the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around him.

he could’ve sworn he could cum right then.

but he wasn’t ready to be outdone by your skilled tongue and hands. so he moved a hand up towards your pussy, his tongue flicking against your clit teasingly as his index finger prodded your hole.

dipping in when you least expected it to draw louder moans out of you when he sucked on your clit. your hips squirmed against his face, rolling against him.

he heard a gag but felt the warmth of your mouth completely enveloping him.

he fingered you as his head fell back, his middle and index fingers moving in and out of you quickly. charles had come to learn how to use his fingers more skilfully every since he’d lost the use of his legs.

not on other women of course, women no longer looked at him because of his disability. he’d learnt it for you, because you were the only woman who looked his way nowadays, not that he minded.

“charles—”

he could tell his ‘training’ had worked when you came all over his face with your cut off warning.

he licked his fingers clean off your essence before pulling your mouth off his cock. you whined in protest, met his his soft tsk in return.

“later, i wanna feel you now. don’t deny me this, sweetheart.”

your pout didn’t go away but you complied, lifting yourself up away from his face. he frowned slightly.

“i’m sorry, but i’m not going to be much use now.”

he could feel the doubt settling in his heart, what if you just realised he couldn’t give you what you want? what you need? charles wasn’t a self sufficient man anymore, he needed to be taken care of.

“that’s okay,” your answer came before he could fully believe in his doubts. you pressed a gentler kiss against his lips. “let me take care of you, charles.” you whispered softly to him, he could’ve cried right then.

but it would’ve ruined the mood, he’ll open up about that later, he thought. you’d listen, he knew you would.

he nodded. watching you line yourself up with him, charles was a good length. a satisfying length, with the perfect thickness to stretch you out and not hurt you at the same time.

you both moaned in sync as you lowered yourself onto him, sinking onto his cock until he filled you up to the hilt.

his hands moved to your thighs when you started bouncing on his cock, he adored the way you looked like this. on top of him, so pretty with the way your face contorted out of pleasure.

“you look so pretty.”

he called out to you, his hands running down your body, one of his fingers rubbing your clit in circular motions.

“that’s it sweetheart. you’re doing so well.”

charles guessed that if he couldn’t fuck you like you deserved then he’d help however he could, touching you and words.

and god did he love the way you reacted to his words. he watched you bounce on his cock, this angle did you wonders.

you looked like a goddess, the warm lighting from his lamps shining against your sweaty skin and eyes dazed yet so concentrated.

his fingers sped up their motions on your clit, running faster until your hips stuttered and you tightened around him as you came.

maybe this would work. maybe you’d love him despite everything, love him the way he does you.

the stars pale in comparison to your beauty, but he’d tell you that another time. a sweeter time when you weren’t so exhausted.

maybe when he buys you that ring if the day comes. then he’d tell you how much he adores you, for now he’ll settle for the teasing and the way you lay atop him thighs burning under his gentle touch.

for now he’ll hold you.

© e-nonsense. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and I’ll bite your toes off

[w4w4lycsss]

CHIVALROUS PIRATE | JAMES HOOK

summary: You ask the most unexpected gentleman (Hook) for help in deciding what to do for the dance. pairing: James Hook x male!prince!reader a/n: I've been pretty obsessed with this character for days now, imagine the impact it had on me to make me update again after being inactive for a month (the idea of graphic style it's not mine)

You didn't know when you had befriended a pirate, it was something new for you, since you were considered one of the kindest boys in school. It wasn't even difficult, Uliana and the rest made innocent jokes when they noticed something different, and they realized that they were right when you grabbed the guts to return the joke.

Hook quickly grew fond of you when you were accepted (or rather tolerated) and stuck to you like a leech, annoying you and being how brazen he is.

No one would ever think that a pirate like him: annoying, arrogant, conceited and intimidating would be a gentleman with you.

Only with you, which did not surprise you when you saw him treat you like this from the first moment, you were like his prince. Ironic since it bothered royalty, and you had a very distant lineage and kingdom, which made you feel respected because almost no one seemed to recognize your name on maps. He made you respected, if necessary he would shout at the seven seas (possibly as a threat) to treat you as you deserve.

Somehow you weren't surprised that he was jealous or possessive, but on a non-toxic point, as he wouldn't let girls flirt with you or go overboard, putting his healthy hand on your back and going down to your waist so they would notice that you weren't available. He was much more direct and rude when the guys asked you out,

You were afraid of dancing, like you didn't want to go for some reason, maybe you weren't ready, or your head was telling you that it wasn't the time for you. The dance was in two days, which kept you under pressure because you didn't know what to wear, and that no one had invited you. Still.

The door to your room rang, causing you to run and open it when you know who it was. Hook bowed a little exaggerated at seeing you, a gesture that was interrupted when you pulled him by the arm and pulled him into your room, closing the door.

"Quick, which one looks better on me? Blue or black?" You took the two suit options you had on your bed and put them in front of your clothes to set an example.

"Huh, the two of you?" He tilted his head to the side as he didn't know anything about fashion.

You moaned in frustration and put the clothes back on the bed. "You don't understand, I need to look perfect." You tossed and turned around your room as you thought. "What do you need?"

"Nothing really." He blurted out brazenly, pacing your room and seeing the jewelry you planned to wear the dance. "Why do you worry so much? With either of you you would look good."

"Just 'good' isn't enough, I need to look perfect." You repeated. "I want to match whoever I go with. It's harder when no one has invited me to two days!"

Hook stopped walking in circles and stopped in front of you, putting his hand on your lower back and his hook holding your chin for you to look at. Both shared a different look, he exposing the look of jealousy and you worried about how you come to see yourself.

"Isn't it better not to go to the dance? I don't want to see anyone with my prince."

"This is not the time for jealousy, this is serious. I don't want to be the laughingstock of the night." You frowned worried about yourself, raising your hands to the collar of his shirt.

A little habit you had was always to arrange his clothes, he was not a dirty pirate but sometimes he did not know how to dress properly. With your hands on his neck you played with the chain he was carrying and the hair that fell down the back of his neck, distracting you from what had tired you a few moments ago.

His hook left your chin and went down to your waist, accompanying his other hand and drawing you more to him. His grip was secure but soft, he knew how to treat and hold you, he had created his boundaries with you himself.

"Do you want to go to the dance with me?" He asked you in a low voice, a few inches from your lips.

"Are you serious?"

"Very seriously. No one has invited you and I, uh, have rejected several girls." He shrugged his shoulders but continued to speak in the same low, careful tone.

"Black would definitely make me stand out."

You smiled inevitably, a gesture that infected him. Both leaned over each other to join their lips in a brief kiss, at the moment of separation he smiled proud of himself.

"You'll look great next to me, no matter what you wear."

[dear-theodosia22]

James was not prepared for this conversation to happen now.

It had all started so innocently with James asking Sirius about their potions homework.

From there it devolved into other topics as is their other conversations they've had before.

Until eventually it landed here

"Well?" Sirius asked, with an eyebrow raised.

"Erm, I'm not.. really sure mate..." James replied albeit nervously.

"Well you've gotta know I've seen you recently"

" But I... don't wanna make you upset?" James said, ending with a more question-like response.

" Are you asking me or telling me? Why would it make me mad?" Sirius smirked blowing a piece of hair from his makeshift bun made with his wand

" Erm... telling you?"

"Oh, Prongs you sweet lovely innocent boy, Tell me"

James' eyebrow furrowed, he already knew his answer but he didn't wanna upset anyone. He was beginning to get frustrated.

At that moment the dorm door swung open, revealing Remus and Peter back from the kitchens, their hands piled with snacks and sweets for them all to enjoy

Remus took one look at Sirius and James and turned right back around.

Peter chuckled to himself and left some snacks in the dorm before leaving.

" Good luck lads, hope your friendship with each other can withstand whatever this is"

Sirius looked at Peter before giving James a puzzled glance before going back to their conversation

Sirius cleared his throat, "I think, you already have your answer"

James nervously nodded, his throat bobbing.

"Well I mean your crush can't be too bad. Not like it's Mulciber or Merlin forbid, Snivelus" Sirius says, obviously to crack the tension but having the opposite affect

"What, why would I want to shag them? That's like me wanting to shag your brother" James awkwardly replies with a slight crack to his voice.

Sirius' eyes narrow, turning into every bit the Black Heir as he was trained to be.

"It's Reggie isn't it?" Sirius snides coldy, no longer joking.

James starts to fear for his life.

" Do you love him?"

"Yes, I do"

" Will you do whatever is necessary for him?"

" Erm.... Yes?"

" Even murder?"

" Yes" James replied, because if he's ever been sure of anything in his life it's this.

Sirius takes a deep breath, then smiles all joyful and friendly. " Welcome to the family Prongs!"

"Wha-what, that's it?"

" Yup you've officially passed the Black family test!" Sirius grinned.

" The old croon may have been insane and wrong about nearly everything, but shockingly not that. Though technically she never came up with that." Sirius ponders for a minute but then shrugs as if it was a brief thought.

James wanted to act confused but after years of being Sirius' friend he's used to the Black family dramatics.

Doesn't make it any better to deal with though.

[mustainegf]

can you do like a cowboy James and the girl is flirting with him and she steals his hat and he jokes around saying she can show him how good of a cowgirl she is and she rides him with the hat on (praise kink too pls)

I crawled into James' lap, who was sitting comfortably on the couch. He smiled as I sat on him, his eyes devouring me.

"Hey, sweet thing," James sighed softly, his hands finding my waist. Without I moments notice, I grabbed the brim of his cowboy hat, shifting it onto my own head teasingly.

He barked out a laugh. "Careful there. That hat is important to me." He laughed. "Oh really? And if I don't give it back?" I asked innocently. His smile fell for a moment before his face lit up again.

"Why don't you show me what a good cowgirl you are then" he said slowly, smirking at me as if daring me to take the bait.

"Mmm I bet you'd like that, huh?" I purred tipping the hat up just slightly as my hips began to grind over his groin.

"You're killing me here, love," he growled, trying to tug the hat off my head. I swerved my head with a smirk. "Come on, ride me, cowgirl," he said with a smirk, kissing down my jaw.

His words ignited something deep within me and I found myself reaching behind me for the hem of my tank top. As I lifted it over my head, I felt his fingers skimming my nipples.

"This hat isn't going anywhere but right where it is, cowboy." I grinned as he watched me shimmy out of my denim shorts.

"Show me you deserve to wear it, yeah?" He teased, pulling off his white tee shirt.

I watched, helping him unbuckle his belt and shove his jeans and boxers down to his ankles.

Fuck, his dick looked good, standing straight in attention. Precum was already beading on his tip.

I reached for his erection, rubbing in the small bit of cum onto his member, stroking him gently.

I softly kissed his neck. Both of us were completely nude except for his hat on my head. While I jerked him off, he reached his fingers to my heat, sliding them through my wet folds.

A soft moan escaped my lips as his thumb found my clit, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves with ease. "Do you want my dick?"

I nodded quickly, lifting my hips and lining his tip with my cunt.

I heard his sharp intake of breath as his head slid in and he sheathed himself inside of me in one smooth stroke. I threw my head back, letting the cool air hit my face while he thrust into me hard and fast.

"Fuuuck yes!" I shouted as his hands gripped my waist, his hips slamming against mine. My legs began to shake from the strength of his pace.

"That's it, now ride me like the dirty little cowgirl you are," he nodded, his eyes fixated on my bouncing breasts.

I forced my hips up and down, riding him as he requested.

The slight change had him cursing loudly, his fingers clutching my thighs tighter. I let my head fall back, my ponytail swaying around as I rode him even harder. "Ah, god, fuck, baby!"

"Sooo good... such a good girl," he groaned, his head falling back while his fingers dug into my hips.

With each up and down movement, I could feel his balls tighten and draw closer to the base of his shaft. "Come on, come on, come on," he chanted as he lifted my hips higher on his cock.

"That's it, take it like the goodgirl you are," he panted, completely breathless.

I took a deep breath, my walls squeezing his shaft, milking every drop from him. "Oh, Christ! Baby, that's it!" he roared, his arms tightening around my waist.

He pulled me to him, his face burying in my boobs.

He thrusted a few more times until we were both cumming.

James Held me still as I shook and whined. "That's it, breathe..." he huffed, stilling inside of me.

After a few moments, I opened my eyes to see him staring at me in awe. I smiled, knowing I had pleased him. "You really are something special, baby," he whispered, kissing me softly.

[mymiraclealigner]

Pointless jealousy | Remus Lupin x reader

summary: a guy is flirting with you and Remus has to do something about it.

tw: alcohol consumption.

word count: 766

Remus had his eyes on you since each one went their own way in the party. He understood you two spent majority of time together, and that he wasn't the only person you could have fun and talk with, but there was something about that guy that he didn't like. He could smell his intentions of seducing you from afar, and it was getting on his nerves.

He had you laughing and giggling like crazy, the sight of you covering your mouth and cleaning tears from your eyes infuriated Remus; he couldn't remember you ever cleaning tears from your eyes from his jokes. 

The open back door welcomed a soft breeze that raised your skirt occasionally, forcing you to pull it down. 'If he dares to look down, that's it', he told himself. The air pushed your perfume to the living room, making Remus hyperaware of your distance and reminding him you were there, talking to that loser, instead of being with him, doting him with kisses and secret head scratches.

Every time Remus turned around to check on the two of you, he would notice how the man's body got closer to yours; he crouched down to hear your replies and try to maintain eye contact. 'The music isn't so loud in the kitchen, he could back up a little bit’, the werewolf puffed.

Remus knew it wasn't your fault, you probably weren't even aware of this guy's look, or that he was flirting with you. Your head was always somewhere else, and Remus had taken the capacity of looking at someone else romantically from you, so probably you weren’t thinking something beyond a friendly interaction. If you could notice or not was not what bothered Remus, it was the audacity of that guy to look at you the way he was doing, like he was about to eat you for dinner. 

Time passed and you stood there innocently talking to the guy. His hands were now holding his weight in the counter and his body was fully turned to you. Remus kept repeating himself that you only had eyes for him and having beer after beer in the hopes of relaxing a bit; he didn't want to make a scene in front of everyone, he was not like that. 

Unfortunately, the alcohol did the contrary to relax him. His mind turned dizzy, and his ears shut down to James’ story about how he tricked Sirius into eating a frog alive to try to read your lips. His hands were craving the touch of your hips and the situation was starting to become frustrating. The more his rival made you laugh, the more uneasy Remus would get.

He tried to stop his feet from going over there and pushing the guy far from your face, but sooner than he could realize, he found himself getting up from the sofa abruptly. Looks from his friends were redirected to him, but he payed no attention to that, his mind was focused on your silky hair framing your smile. Each step towards the kitchen made Remus’ blood pump harsh through his body, his breathing was deep, and the sound of your laugh made him shudder with pleasure. 

“And so, I told him: no, we don’t make br—” the adrenaline planted Remus sharply in front of you making the guy stop his sentence. You turned to see him with hazy eyes and a dumb smile.

“Oh! hey Remmy, this is—” 

Remus grabbed your arm and pulled you near him so his lips could catch yours swiftly. A little surprised scream emanated from your throat, but Remus’ tongue silenced it; you got out of your initial shock, relaxed in his arms and dwelled into his passionate, warm kiss.

You were so immersed in your boyfriend that you didn’t even hear the guy’s uncomfortable cough; Remus smiled to himself and surrounded your shoulders with his arms in response. Provocative 'oohs' came from outside the kitchen, probably from Sirius and Marlene, but Remus turned a deaf ear and opted to slightly support your back on the counter.

The sound of steps getting further away announced the retirement of the man talking to you minutes before. Remus slowly separated from you to look into your eyes, they were shiny and semi-closed, a reflection of your drunk state.

"You are coming with me now, miss. No more laughing at other guy's jokes" he kissed the tip of her nose.

You rolled your eyes and giggled because you had no idea what he was talking about, you were just making fun of this guy's ridiculous stories!

[jaylienpotter]

Conceited

Jegulus one-shot

Warning: Lily Evans bashing (kinda)

"Why don't you give me a chance? Even to be friends?!"

Regulus turned around and walked towards the source of the noise. He knew that voice very well.

"I hate you, Potter!"

Seemed like Black's crush was getting rejected again. Part of him was sad for his brother's best friend, another, more selfish side of him, was relieved.

"Why?! What did I ever do to you? I know I was a prick to Snape sometimes-"

"You're a bully!"

"I'm not a bully! Snape isn't stupid, nor weak, nor innocent. He does the exact same thing we did to him! He's not a victim." He wasn't wrong, to be a bully meant it was one-sided. Snape and Potter were more like mortal enemies.

"Even then, you're still a rich, obnoxious, arrogant, selfish prat who doesn't shut up about himself! You're so bloody conceited!"

That hit. He could see the hurt in those dark brown eyes. People didn't know the effort the tanned skinned boy put into helping others, making sure everyone is happy, included, safe. He could have all eyes on him yet no one noticed. Except Reg. He noticed James.

"That's not true." The pair turned to him in surprise, pale hands becoming fidgety with the sudden notion of being watched. He kind of regretted speaking up.

"James doesn't talk about himself. Yes, he's sometimes a bit obnoxious and loud, and he does talk a lot but it's never centered around himself. You're getting confused with my brother, Evans."

"Oh, please. Those two are the same. You're not in Gryffindor, you don't hear them all the time." Right, but he did hear from the boy in private. In their late night talks that started after Sirius ran away. Because James didn't want Reg to feel alone. He noticed. He cared. He helped.

"What does he say then? About himself. Not about his friends. Or the stupid pranks they all pull." He dragged the word 'all', making it a point that it didn't count.

"Do you know his favourite colour? Favourite animal? Favourite classes and professors? His grades? How many people he's dated? Anything about his home life? His life goals and dreams?" It was too late to back out, the rant had begun, and you bet Blacks finish what they start.

"Because I don't think so. He might talk a shit lot, but it's about his group plans, his friends, making jokes, making others laugh when feeling like shit as so many do nowadays," himself included. "It takes a lot to get him to talk about himself as an individual, actually. You would know if you gave him a chance. But for someone so against judgemental people, you really do focus on his appearance." Green eyes wide, pink lips shut tight. Regulus contained his smirk.

"He's a good person. A great friend. Selfless and caring despite being from an old pureblood family. And he fights for what he thinks is right. He fights for others. With his big personality comes a big heart. So if you don't make space for the love he has to offer just because you think you don't believe he has it in him, he's not the conceited one." Red hair nearly flew with Lily's stormed exit. She hadn't liked their interaction in the slightest. It was better that way. She wasn't deserving.

Piercing dark eyes were burning a whole through black curls. Reg avoided James's gaze, afraid of what he'd say. He only faced him when he felt the boy closer, and he could swear Potter's eyes were sparkling.

"You meant that...?"

"Of course. You care so much about everyone else that you forget yourself. You couldn't tell me what you wanted to do in the future because it would depend on what your friends decided to do with their lives. You're the most selfless person I know, and if she thinks otherwise, she doesn't deserve your love or friendship."

Silence. He really wanted the older boy to say something, but he just stared, lips slightly parted. Icy blue eyes looked away, shoulders tensing from the attention.

Warm strong arms surrounded his small figure, nearly making him halt. But Potter's sweet, intoxicating smell had him relax and melt in his arms, wrapping his much slimmer ones around his tanned waist.

"Thanks, Reggie." His heart skipped a beat at the nickname and he hoped James didn't feel it against his own chest. He was also thankful to have his face covered, absolutely certain that his white cheeks had turned fully pink.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Okay, here we go. Rating literary allusions in Taylor Swift songs:

The Outside: "I tried to take the road less traveled by /but nothing seems to work the first few times/am I right?"--Starting off pretty well! She tried to take the road less traveled by, but it didn't make any difference. 8/10

Love Story: Whole song allusion to Romeo and Juliet-- All those 2008 jokes about Taylor not having read R&J weren't funny then and they aren't funny now. It's a fun, satisfying subversion. However, I am going to dock points for the fact that Romeo and Juliet aren't a prince and princess, just rich. 7/10

Love Story: "You were Romeo/I was a scarlet letter"--Is the Juliet character in "Love Story" being publicly shamed? Did she do something scandalous? There are zero other lines in this song to suggest that she did, and a fair amount of evidence that she didn't. This allusion confuses rather than clarifies and tbh this is the one people should've made fun of in 2008. 2/10

New Romantics: "We show off our different scarlet letters/ trust me, mine is better" --Hooray! She figured out what the book is about! This is a beautifully executed allusion, where "scarlet letters" represents a mark of something shameful which, in a fun subversion, is being shown off with pride. Fits the song really well. Most improved award, 11/10

Getaway Car: "It was the best of times, the worst of crimes" (A Tale of Two Cities) -- Goes in the category of "fun wordplay, but doesn't really mean anything deeper" 5/10

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: "Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year" --This is a perfectly serviceable allusion, but not a super interesting one. Sub "Gatsby" out with "nostalgic" and the song wouldn't change at all. She could've done a lot more with the reference, given the subject matter of the song. 6/10

cardigan: "I knew you/tried to change the ending/Peter losing Wendy" -- This works! You get a sense of Betty losing her innocence and choosing to leave James and of it being inevitable somehow. Plus, it imbues the song with a lovely fairy tale quality. 10/10

illicit affairs: "take the road less traveled by/tell yourself you can always stop" -- To take the road less traveled by is to do something risky, unpopular, or unfamiliar, not just to take a route through town where you won't run into people. Not totally egregious, but the regression from Debut is disappointing. 4/10

invisible string: "and isn't it just so pretty to think/ that all along there was some/ invisible string tying you to me."(The Sun Also Rises)--Ugggggh. Okay, so "Isn't it pretty to think so?" is this sad, tired, ironic note in The Sun Also Rises. Brett tells Jake, "We could have had a damned good time together" and Jake says "Isn't it pretty to think so?" because their whole situationship was never going to work. It's not a positive thing; it's pure, bitter Lost Generation irony. Completely out-of-place in a song about how two people we're supposed to believe will actually work as a couple. This one drives me nuts, and I don't even like Hemingway. 0/10

happiness: "I hope she'll be a beautiful fool/ who takes my spot next to you" (Gatsby)--Saying this about an ex's future SO is so... off. Like, the reason why Daisy hopes her daughter will be a beautiful fool is because it's easy. The two situations have nothing to do with one another, and not in an interesting way. 1/10

The Albatross: whole song allusion to "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," but most notably "She's the albatross/ she is here to destroy you"--The albatross in the Rime is a good omen. The Mariner shoots is for no reason, and the albatross's death is the ostensible source of bad fortune. I wrote a whole separate post on this here. That said, culturally "albatross=bad omen" is common enough, so whatever. 3/10

I Hate It Here: "I will go to secret gardens in my mind/ people need a key to get to/ the only one is mine" -- I like this one a lot. Exactly the right vibe for the song, trying to escape something miserable by going somewhere pleasant. The key is a nice touch. Poor Archibald. 10/10

The Prophecy: "I got cursed like Eve got bitten" --No Taylor, that's not what happened. Famously, Eve was the biter in that situation. 0/10

Cassandra: whole song allusion -- correct me if I'm wrong (I haven't actually read the Illiad), but my understanding is that Cassandra died fairly far into the Trojan war, and not by burning. 4/10

[partyinthemysterymachine]

well step right up step riiiiiight up bcuz BOYY do i got a deal for YOU!!!

but again, BE FOREWARNED: this an unedited, impromptu Eddie profile i did on a Silent Hill FB group back in early 2020. it's been [checks bare wrist] four years since then. this was just a basic skeleton of ideas on Eddie as a canon character in SH2, and written as a response to someone on said SH FB group trying to claim Eddie was a hero and an innocent, and was totally justified in his crimes.

this was 11pg in gdocs, so grab a cuppa-whatever and a snack, and enjoy!!:

right off his wiki page is stated:

[When he is approached by James Sunderland, he immediately starts claiming innocence of the death of the man in the refrigerator, telling James that he isn't even from Silent Hill.]

so first off, he has a guilty conscience right off the bat. James didn't accuse Eddie of having any part with the corpse and yet, Eddie outright denies it as though he WAS accused; it was his kneejerk reaction. when the scene plays out in the game, you can think nothing of it; he's scared, he's obviously sick, and maybe he was sick from seeing the corpse. so he's panicking, right? doesn't seem that sketchy.

Continuing:

[Eddie is later seen in Pete's Bowl-O-Rama, having a conversation with Laura while eating pizza. Despite the fact that Laura calls him a "gutless fatso", he remains relatively civil to her. When James's appearance causes Laura to flee, Eddie decides not to accompany James in his pursuit of her, explaining sulkily that she said "a fatso like [him] would just slow her down". James points out that there's monsters in the town, but Eddie feels Laura will be fine.]

yes, the pizza is definitely a nod to an eating disorder. binge eating, perhaps, and eating for comfort. here, this reads as comfort. though Laura is mean, he's calm and honestly very good with her, which eludes to a sensitive and caring side to him. as we go further along, Eddie directs his anger towards adults. with that you can pretty easily take that Eddie has no problems with kids, regarding them as innocent. even though Laura is mean, he brushes it off because maybe he figures she doesn't know any better, or simply that she's joking. the inflections in his voice are common of adults talking to kids; a bit more exaggerated, more emotion behind it, and with a question like that, the tonal pitch and fall is also one that's lightly scolding. 'why would you say something like that, don't be like that' has a distinct sound when used.

this is also where we see the first note of his self esteem issues. Eddie is parroting some of the verbal and emotional abuse he's been given in his life - especially the fresh one. Laura called him a "gutless fatso" and he immediately calls himself a "fatso" in a mocking tone. every instance of this abuse is internalized. that sucks, and it hurts. James seems appalled that Eddie would just let Laura run free, and considering that Eddie and Laura arrived together, he probably got a good understanding of her then. she's a very independent girl. he figures she can fend for herself.

on THAT note too, that they arrived together: Laura is seen kicking Eddie in the beginning sequence. again, he doesn't react in anger; it's like a little sister bullying a big brother. (and outright, yes, Laura is a bully.) from what we can glean off Eddie, it doesn't seem like he has any qualms towards women. Laura is a snotty, independent little girl and he respects her. also he doesn't value himself a very good guardian. again, he's been beaten down by people and life in general, so this is understandable that he doesn't think he'd be worthy of going along with her.

doesn't seem too bad, right? you can empathize? good. you're not meant to see every character as downright bad, zero relatable characterization, nothing good to say about them. (something i will get to towards the end. and this is gonna be a lot, so hang tight.) characters, like people, are not black and white. they're a whole painter's catalogue of grey. no one is entirely innocent nor guilty. and Eddie, while he's had a whole host of problems and downfalls and stuff he probably didn't deserve in his life, is not a martyr, and is NOT to be considered someone who also didn't deserve to be in Silent Hill.

going on:

[Somehow, Eddie inexplicably reappears deep underground in Toluca Prison's cafeteria, slumped against the door and muttering to himself about how killing a human is "no big deal" and "you just put a gun to their head... POW!" There is yet another corpse lying on one of the cafeteria tables, but this time, Eddie attempts to justify his actions to James, claiming that the man "had it coming" and that he "was making fun of me with his eyes". When James refuses to accept Eddie's reasoning, Eddie nervously laughs and jokes that the corpse was already there when he arrived. He then leaves James to explore the prison by himself. A grave with his name on it, next to James's and Angela Orosco's, can be found in a graveyard later on.]

what we discover about Eddie is that he has a lot of anger management problems. he also shows signs of psychosis, which a SYMPTOM of mental illness (and NOT directly schizophrenia; psychosis goes along with many variations of mental illness) and psychosis "include(s) delusions, hallucinations, talking incoherently, and agitation. The person with the condition usually isn't aware of his or her behavior."

we begin to see this here. he goes from confident yet empty, intent to harm, murderous tendencies ("he had it coming" points to this) - then directly to sniveling, trying to justify himself, trying to make HIM look like the victim. "he was making fun of me with his eyes!" and when James rebuffs that, he tries to laugh it off. he clearly meant it. "you can't just kill somebody just because of the way they looked at you!"

"well, why not?"

yeah. why are you asking that, Eddie? he has a lot of anger inside him due to the abuse, and he's also beginning to project and delude himself into believing he had full right to murder someone for supposedly eyeballing him out of malice. there's no evidence. we don't know how long that body's been dead. for all we know, Eddie acquired a gun and shot a dead body because Eddie believed that a corpse made fun of him. he's sitting there on the floor talking senselessly about it to himself. he's got a wild look in his eyes - the kind of wild that's present in excitement. whether he actually killed someone or shot a corpse, he felt GOOD about it. that was a release. that wasn't any big deal! look how easy that was! that felt good!!

Eddie expected to feel bad about killing someone. a lot of people become VERY disturbed after having killed someone. this is one of the worst immoral acts, something that will stay with a person forever. one will always remember their first human kill. it's haunting. you're not supposed to revel in it, and if someone does, that's a huge, enormous, galaxy-sized red flag.

Eddie is reveling in it. it's no big deal. that was easy. he can do it again. actually? he'd like to do it again.

Eddie refuses to take responsibility for his actions. it wasn't his fault, he (the corpse) MADE him do it! you hear that a lot with children, immaturity, and people who don't want to take responsibility/face consequences of their actions, right? we start to see how immature Eddie is. he also displays sharp mood swings here. "I'm a god" to "no no no it's not me, it's them! please believe me!" there is no justification for whatever he did, and the fact that he feels the need to defend himself over it is a sign of manipulation, guilt (yes, guilt; and guilt can be a good thing. maybe he feels guilty that he did it, all of a sudden. OR - maybe he feels guilty that he was caught, or guilty that he was reprimanded. guilt does not automatically mean that he has a conscience and truly feels bad about it. someone feeling guilty for being caught is a red flag for being detached from empathy, for the only person he feels sorry for is himself), and blaming.

everyone is wrong except for Eddie.

Eddie leaves, suddenly confident again. he rather flippantly says, "Anyway, I gotta run!" and when James expresses concern about him going alone, he hauntingly says, "Yeah."

so there's another mood swing. he's gone through two or three mood swings in perhaps less than two minutes. depraved to pitiful to depraved again. i use depraved because of his arrogance. these acts were done with malicious, murderous intent. he made the decision. mental illness absolutely plays a factor here in "convincing" him to do it. that's not to say there are voices in his head telling him to do it, no. but with mental illness, a person is very susceptible to delusions and falling hard into them; they can't see any other side of a problem, this is the only thing to do, the blinders are put on and vision tunneled. mental illness is grave. mental illness also doesn't excuse him from his crimes.

after learning about Eddie later, coming back to this scene is even more interesting. Eddie's been bullied, right. in here, he's making his stand. he's defending himself. he's the hero now! everyone's getting their just deserts; how's that feel? obviously this is more outwardly shown at his boss fight, where the thread snaps for good, but here, it serves as foreshadowing.

he got cocky after killing someone for making fun of him. man. that feels really good, especially since he's daydreamed about it, probably had all these speculative plans about HOW he'd deal with someone/the next person to disrespect him like that. y'know, arguments we all have in the shower with that cashier five years ago. except Eddie's is actually violent, and he absorbs it like a sponge. he LOVES visualizing himself as the hero here, beating people to a pulp, putting a gun to their head and making them beg for their miserable lives. he wants to see someone piss themselves and blubber because they never expected HIM to have the upper hand - much less hold their goddamn lives in his palm!

this was a huge ego boost. this fed in to his delusions. he enacted a daydream. now he can go out there alone. he can do anything. he's a big hot shot.. except that he's also an enormous coward that crumbles the moment James confronted him.

this behavior is something i've already mentioned, so i'll reiterate: he's determined to make sure James knows it isn't his fault; he's guilty for being caught; he's guilty that he's PERCEIVED to be guilty, he's making excuses so he's not the bad guy. i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that there HAVE been instances in his past where he was NOT at fault. there may have been events that FRAMED HIM and he had to take the blame.

maybe this is a reflection of that. he's begging James to believe him because many others hadn't. he NEEDS James to believe him, EVEN THOUGH he admits to his crime in the next breath. i'm not going to deny that Eddie's a victim. there've been a lot of problems in his past and he is a victim. in his mind he has to get out of this predicament right away scot-free because he wasn't in the wrong, he didn't do it, he was framed (by the guy that was looking at him funny), and it seems to me he's unable to differentiate when a situation has been pinned on him to take the downfall for, and when HE is actually at total fault for something that he did.

small note on the grave with his name on it: blatant foreshadowing. i have other thoughts on this, but we're just getting to the good part:

[In the end of the labyrinth, James is allowed to step into Eddie's Otherworld, which appears to take on the form of a meat locker and he perceives everyone to be laughing, ridiculing, and sneering at him. It is dark, bitterly cold, frosted over, and huge lumps of meat that are shaped like overweight human bodies dangle from meat-hooks. The meat locker presumably represents Eddie's cold detachment from reality and his lack of remorse in killing people, as well as being mocked as overweight and perhaps gluttonous.]

this seems pretty straightforward. more psychosis, more mental fraying. the huge lumps of meat sure do resemble Eddie, gotta say.. so you can also say that this is how he sees himself. how he thinks other people see him, just a fat clump of meat, nothing more, nothing less. he's just a glob of meat.

this is also how he probably has started to see other people: just meat. nothing more.. nothing less. because killin' a person ain't no big deal. he's removed humanity from himself and humanity from other people. they're not living. it doesn't matter. people aren't as valuable as everyone thinks they are. it's no big deal because there's nothing TO be a big deal about. to him, people aren't people anymore. he's lost touch with reality. he's lost his empathy. he's a shell full of hatred, spite, and malicious intent.

he's had a lot of shit slung at him, and it does not give him any right to be violent. full stop. self defense is a different shelf, different jar. outright, cold blooded violent acts spurred on by bottled hatred and trauma gives him zero support or reason to do that. he may be a victim, but that does not remove him from justification or innocence.

[James asks Eddie what he's doing, as there is yet another corpse by him on the floor. Eddie begins angrily venting, recounting all of the verbal abuse he's received from others throughout his life. Eddie claims that someone's intelligence and physical appearance are rendered meaningless once they are dead as a corpse can't laugh, and that he is willing to kill anyone who ridicules him. James tries to reason with Eddie, but Eddie's growing insanity, paranoia and insecurity causes him to translate James's reasoning into insults, especially after James unwisely asks Eddie if he's "gone nuts". Eddie's paranoia convinces him that James was always laughing at him behind his back, causing him to attack by shooting James non-fatally in the shoulder with his revolver.]

and there it's proven. he's again parroting what he's been hearing all his life. he's been called stupid, ugly, gross - things that are assumed of him because of how he looks. he's not conventionally attractive. he's a slob. he's overweight. Eddie appears to be in his late twenties and he's dressing like a frat boy. so he's trying to dress younger and be accepted and seen as cool for what he wears. none of it's working. he's a joke.

he's also immature. this doesn't help his case against bullying. Eddie's probably reduced himself socially and mentally all his life to try to fit in. maybe he's tried to be the funny guy; maybe he's tried to be the funny guy that'll drink that weird, gross glass that everyone contributed to, the guy you can tell to go dive into a dumpster to get something as a dare and everyone just laughs. Eddie's been used and manipulated. he's an idiot. he's socially stunted. his peers, and probably his home life, has been abhorrent and unacceptable, and no, he probably wasn't always like this. people and environment made him this way.

or so he likes to think.

i don't believe, even in all his shitty life, others "made" him this way. he was greatly influenced. you can point blame to a shitload of people and list off their offenses. people have a large hand in shaping another person - but it's up to that particular individual to grow outside of it, seek help, evolve, become more than their abuse and trauma.

psychosis again in the paranoid delusions. he's ramping himself up. a lot of murders happen after the murderer "psyches" themselves up - it's needed. though Eddie is rapidly spiraling, you can see the last granule of someone who may not want to do this, after all; even after he proclaimed "killing a person ain't no big deal". we don't know what Eddie was doing or thinking between then and now. maybe he was battling with himself. boasting. conjuring more scenes in his head of him taking out a whole flock of people willy nilly and ha ha, look at them, who're the idiots now? or maybe he was wrestling with what he did; how could he do that, he feels sick, no way, it doesn't feel so good after all. back and forth back and forth swing high swing low. no middle ground. one extreme or the other, and the malicious extreme has won out.

but that was a last ditch effort to see if he could bounce back. and he can't.

also, James is a fucking moron.

James is a goddamn fucking moron.

what we've deduced from James after all this time is that this guy is absolutely fried. he's not all there, he's emotionally dead, he has no idea how to handle his or anyone else's problems or emotional needs. James is callous and insensitive, and probably mostly out of emotional and general ignorance.

he's facing a guy who is on his very last shit, dancing on hot glass, waving a pistol around, spewing vitriol, clearly hateful and fragile and frenzied, and what does this absolute idiot do?

he asks Eddie if he's gone nuts. like the excerpt said, Eddie's already been skewing James's words into insults. this is the last straw. nobody wants to be accused of being crazy. that's an enormous slander. Eddie feels truly attacked there, and understandably so, because he kind of was attacked. James thinks he's sounding concerned. he's, again, shocked by Eddie's ranting and implications. he's probably scared and worried about Eddie (though likely more for himself, but this isn't a James dissection).

Eddie, however, has no ear for anything but insult. as stated, he now believes that James has been laughing at him all along, he's never been on his side, he's never cared about all that he's been through. paranoid delusions, ding ding ding! so naturally you gotta shoot a guy about it, right?

Eddie fully turns on James and makes good on his promise that he'd kill the next person who makes fun of him. and he's a bad shot even at near point-blank range. who'da thunk.

maybe he also oughta think about getting a job as a Stormtrooper.

[In a larger adjacent meat locker, Eddie continues his venting. Eddie admits he ran away after killing a bully's dog, and mentions that the dog tried to chew its own guts out as it was dying curled into a ball. Eddie mentions he had fun killing the dog, and says he was amused when he shot the bully and the bully cried more than the dog, showing that Eddie now assumes the role of despot. James asks Eddie if he thinks it's okay to kill people and says that Eddie needs help, and Eddie tells James to quit his holier-than-thou attitude.]

one of the first telltale signs of a possible future murderer or serial killer is if they tortured/killed animals in their childhood. we don't actually know this about Eddie. the only thing we do know is that he killed a bully's dog and he relished and laughed and enjoyed it, especially when it suffered so badly. that's not something that people with humanity do. that's someone who's beginning to lose all touch and interest in other peoples' welfare and lives. killing animals is the first step to killing people.

we don't now if Eddie had any reservations about it, or if he had to psyche himself up, or if it was done in a whirlwind of anger. no clue. the fact of the matter is that he killed someone's dog - an innocent thing, a life, a simple animal that was probably well loved and meant a lot to someone even if it was Eddie's bully - out of spite to HURT his bully. hmmm. no matter how you look at it, it's not a fair trade. that's depravity 101. there's nothing to spin that in his favor.

and he had FUN doing it.

and on top of that - he says he had MORE fun that the bully sobbed over his dog. Eddie viciously retaliated by killing someone's beloved dog, and they mourned, heartbroken, and Eddie had nothing for them but a cackle and sense of superiority. he'd won! take THAT!

where's the remorse? nowhere. where's the guilt? nowhere. was he justified? absolutely fucking not. he doesn't get a pass. at all. ever. cold blooded murder, enjoyment of the crime, exuberance that there was suffering.

"--showing that Eddie now assumes the role of despot." i'd say so! Eddie believes he's in total control now. he's a tyrant. James is an ant on his living room floor. he's very cocky here. and yeah, he does have an upper hand right now. James is in a meat locker with him, he's trapped, scared, disoriented by the way Eddie's voice bounces off the walls and moves around as Eddie stalks him in the meat. it's understandable that he feels like a lion playing with its food.

all this time, they're maneuvering around thick slabs of meat hanging from the ceiling. they're reminiscent of Eddie. could they also be the people he's bullied? do the amount of bodies mean anything to him? what about the covered ones? the fact of the matter here is that he's in a field of death and he's chasing James. James is probably his first live kill and he can't WAIT to taste it, so he's gotta relish it (and monologues about it, as one does. he's probably had a speech prepared for awhile).

re: dog and bully

"Then he came after me! I shot him too! Right in the leg! He cried more than the dog! He's gonna have a hard time playing football on what's left of that knee."

direct dialogue - further solidifies that Eddie's vindictive acts and subsequent satisfaction for his actions were without remorse. he removed a beloved dog and the dreams of his bully. schadenfreude? eehh. dubious territory. did the bully deserve it? no. am i defending the bully? absolutely not. but let's go on.

[James asks Eddie if he thinks it's okay to kill people and says that Eddie needs help, and Eddie tells James to quit his holier-than-thou attitude.]

James is doing some Olympic-grade repression here, but he's showing a moral compass, and actual concern that Eddie needs help. again, this is something delicate that people hate to hear. lots of people take HUGE offense to suggestions that they ought to get help. that means something's wrong with him. that HE'S wrong. that he's CRAZY. and that's bullshit, James; do you even know who the fuck you are? (and an aside: seriously, therapy is good for everyone. stop the stigma.)

"Don't get all holy on me, James. This town called you, too. You and me are the same. We're not like other people. Don't you know that?! Let's party!"

so Eddie knows something about James that James hasn't figured out yet. at some point, Eddie became aware. it's uncertain if that's self-awareness, and maybe it is, to a point. but he's also become aware of the nature of Silent Hill. something called Eddie here. he's not looking for anybody. he has no connections, other than Laura. what does he mean, "this town called you too/you and me are the same/we're hot like other people"? and then he asks him: "Don't you know that?"

doesn't he know that?

James has no idea what that means. Eddie's been handed spoilers. it seems that Eddie knows, not exactly what James has done, but got a very good idea about it. he tries to tell James that he's just like him, because they're fucked up and they've committed the same crime, they're different and they've been abused and life's put them through the wringer. James ought to know what it's like and relate, so what's with the attitude, Sunderland?

but why would Silent Hill summon Eddie? my guess is punishment. just deserts. nailing the last one in the coffin. snap, crackle, pop.

just like James.

i have a LOT more thoughts about the comparisons between James and Eddie, as well as James with Laura and Angela, buuut i sure have gone on. so i'll wrap it up.

Eddie is a victim. i will not deny that. it needs to be acknowledged properly. as i've said again and again, he's been dealt the worst hand in the house in life; he's been mistreated, demeaned, tossed around, just abused all over.

he also may very likely (highly likely) have some mental illness. anxiety, depression, paranoia, among others. mental illness is NOT to blame, NOR is it an excuse. there will be no stigma-based stereotypes and thinking about mental illness here. mental illness is devastating, and it varies WILDLY.

here, going by the assumption that Eddie may have a variation, it exacerbates his warped thinking and ties him into knots and gets him into a typhoon of distorted thoughts and behaviors. if he had gotten help at any point, there's a possibility that he could have had a really good chance at recovery and not been the person we see in game.

there's also a chance that even if he got the help, he would've found another way to retaliate that'd be violent. a bad egg is a bad egg. mental illness does not directly pin that outcome on a person.

Eddie is someone to empathize with. he has eating disorders. he has trouble socializing. he's been rejected by his peers and he's frustrated because he wants so badly to have acceptance. even the little kid who he's kind to is a huge snot and yet he still shows a good side of him to her. good. that's great to see. i think it, again, shows that he views children as innocence. he can't continue the cycle of abuse with a kid; be kind to them, they're still developing. they'll get a better chance at growing up than he did.

and that's the first and last example of empathy we see from Eddie.

empathize with him. a good character is one that you can struggle with. feel sorry for him. but don't project, don't try to excuse him and validate his behaviors for the sorry way he was treated. Eddie was a victim and he was a depraved murderer who ruined other peoples' lives and made them victims to his violent hatred. he is not a good person.

i've mentioned the grey scale before. as you get to know a person - and specifically here, a character - you discover things about them. maybe they seem like a shit person and then oh they're actually not bad, vice versa. the trouble is planting your roots on one side or the other and refusing to budge, refusing for your ideals and opinions to change. that's unhealthy as hell. that's black and white thinking. that's harmful to you and most horribly, others.

the player's opinion is SUPPOSED to swing and change. it HAS to be allowed to do that. Eddie is painted cowardly and pitiful and ohh feel sorry for him he's had a rough go. then his other side starts to emerge. maybe you don't like that he's become this. try to keep the better thoughts of him; maybe because one can relate, they see themselves in him, feel the same way (if true, please start thinking about why you feel like this and consider reevaluating things) and so you're determined to not be told otherwise. or maybe suddenly Eddie's a filthy fuckhead and cannot be excused, and won't hear another word about it.

dangerous both ways. open mindedness is needed. careful consideration exercised.

he's a very interesting character. i like Eddie. there's a lot to think about him. but he is not a hero by any means.

[beecha]

unfollow me and block me if you voted Trump or a joke vote

i would normally say something like "nothing personal' or "i'm not politic" but no i am making this personal i am politic.

i care about the future of America, and i don't want a future where being queer is illegal and being POC is less than being white. i don't want a future where immigration and abortion is outlawed. i don't want a President who acts like a dictator, has 34 felony counts, & supports the Israeli government despite them bombing innocent civilians and hospital locations in Gaza, Palestine.

so to all you Trump supporters and joke voters, fuck off. this election will change the world. provinces in Canada have been copying Trump's decisions, and 3rd world countries look up to America as an example to better themselves. 

and yes, you joke voters. you didn't help. "every vote counts!!!" it's basic math that they count up the votes and you voting for LeBron James or Hawk Tuah isn't helping.

please, politely, get away from my space. i am not welcoming you in anymore.

[thefluffyrailway-official]

Why isn't Emily's pup in the actual families?

Also how were the reactions of the Steam Team to her expecting??? :0

(Amazing art btw! Keep it up! 🐈🐑🐊🐍🦭🐬)

Oh that! Hehe well. It's kinda funny actually, Orion isn't born yet in my AU. I mean, Emily and Thomas aren't OFFICIALLY dating yet. But i just like to draw that lil' cyan fluff.

also, their reactions were something like this:

Thomas: *Gasp* Omg... Omg OMG!!! I need to tell everyone about this!!! YOO!!!! GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE A DAD!!!!

Edward: Awww I can't believe it!! When have you grown so much Thomas?! *le sobs* CONGRATS YOU TWO!!!

Henry: *intense crying* AJSOJQÑWYQOEYGQPUHWPUHWUPGQYPWGOYC (Traduction: Omg i'm so happy for you two. I waited all my life for this day. Congratulations)

Gordon: WHAT?!! When did this happen?! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT WITH MY DAUGHTER?! (Protective dada)

James: HOLY SH*T! I trully hope that pup won't look like his father. *joking*... Pls don't tell Rosie i said that-

Percy: I'mma be an uncle? I'MMA BE AN UNCLE!!!!! *joy squeaks*

Nia: Awwwww congratulations guys! Now, where is the pup??? :D (Innocent minded girl)

Rebecca: YAYYYYYYYY I LOVE BABIESS!!!! CONGRATSSSS!!!! *hug*

(Yeah... Kinda extreme reactions. Everyone is crazy in this AU :3)

(Edit: I didn't see the last phrase. AND OMG TYSMMMMM ✨💗✨💗)

[the-beginning-is-ending]

HOUSE M.D × INSCRYPTION

This isn't my first HouseMD AU, nor will it most likely be the last lol. You'll probably see less of this one??? Maybe??? Idk. Either way, I wanted to post this! Inscryption is one of my favorite games, and combining it with my favorite show felt right.

Questions about this AU or the game of Inscryption itself will be answered. I'm 100% willing to make a post explaining Inscryption as well for the HouseMD fans or people who saw this AU

Information of the AU under the cut!

[EXAMPLE]

Name [Attack/Health]

Animal [Sigil]

Sigil Meaning:

Animal/Card Symbolism:

ps: Masters & Amber will be included. just wait

FREE CARDS

GREGORY HOUSE [1/4]

Limping Jaguar [No Sigil]

Animal/Card Symbolism: Jaguars are strong animals, just how House is very clever, even for his field, and how a limp damages that view and themselves (A Jaguar couldn't survive long with a limp, House is damaging his body with Vicodin for it)

JAMES WILSON (0/3)

Hare [Many Lives]

Sigil Meaning: Whenever this card is sacrificed, it does not die

Animal/Card Symbolism: Hares are lagomorphs and still adored creatures, but are often seen as creepier than bunnies. Wilson, as willing and caring as he is, has a few horrors within himself.

ALLISON CAMERON [1/3]

Bunny [Hoarder]

Sigil Meaning: When this card is played, choose a card from your deck to be drawn immediately.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Bunnies are seen as innocent, fluffy animals and have connections to religion and morals

CHI PARK [1/4]

Beetle [No Sigil]

Animal/Card Meaning: Park is small and underestimated

2 BONES

CHRISTOPHER TAUB [1/2]

Hamster [Bone King]

Sigil Meaning: When this card dies, 4 Bones are awarded instead of 1.

Animal/Card Symbolism: A small coward. Rodent energy.

1 BLOOD

ROBERT CHASE [2/4]

Rat [Sprinter]

Sigil Meaning: At the end of the owner's turn, this card moves in the sigil's direction.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Chase is a coward who rats out and hides with anyone he thinks might just save his ass

ERIC FOREMAN [2/3]

Giant Salamander [Sharp Quills]

Sigil Meaning: Once this card is struck, the striker is dealt 1 damage.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Amphibians need specific living environments, being worse in poor ones than average. Foreman grew up in a not-so-good environment.

LISA CUDDY [2/3]

Clipped Parrot [Loose Tail]

Sigil Meaning: When this card is struck, a tail [feather] is created in its place and this card moves to the right.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Cuddy is intelligent and a valuable person, but can struggle with how she's taken due to her gender, and put down because of it. Held back by something.

LAWRENCE KUTNER [1/3]

Fox [Corpse Eater]

Sigil Meaning: If a card that you own dies by combat, this card is played from your hand on its space.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Foxes have a history of jokes and trickery, and can make laughing noises. I think this is fitting for the persona he puts on

2 BLOOD

REMY “13" HADLEY [2/3]

Spider Ball Python [Bifurcated Strike]

Sigil Meaning: This card will strike each opposing space to the left and right of the spaces across it.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Spider Ball Pythons have a gene that makes them wobble, and are doomed from the start

JESSICA ADAMS [2/4]

Hound [Guardian]

Sigil Meaning: When an opposing card is played opposite an empty space, this card moves to that space.

Animal/Card Symbolism: A working dog, stuck in one point of her life to never rest

[sideprince]

I've been thinking a lot about this incredible meta which I'm linking because it's a long post, that started off examining the scene in the Shrieking Shack in PoA from Snape's perspective (and then went very deep in incredibly, insightful ways - thank you @shakespearean-snape for recommending it! I'm almost done reading it...). The thing I keep coming back to is the way that Snape had no idea that Lupin wasn't in on the prank. Maybe I've just gotten too immersed in discussions around how Sirius used his friend as a weapon without his consent, but the other side of that is that Snape had no way of knowing this, and no reason to think Lupin wasn't in on it, especially as we're given reason to think Lupin had bullied him too, at least up until that point (which I'll get to in a minute). This is shown most clearly through this exchange:

“So that’s why Snape doesn’t like you,’ said Harry slowly, ‘because he thought you were in on the joke?’ ‘That’s right,’ sneered a cold voice from the wall behind Lupin. Severus Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing directly at Lupin.

Lupin isn't able to get a word in edgewise after that, but when his patience is tested and he finally speaks up, he merely says,

“You fool,’ said Lupin softly. ‘Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?”

triggering Snape by calling him foolish and referring to his trauma as a schoolboy grudge.

We see in SWM that Lupin observes James and Sirius bullying Snape but doesn't actively participate, but we also see in PoA that when Snape tries to work the Marauders' Map, the imprint Lupin left of himself taunts him openly in a direct and personal way:

“Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”

It's implied that Lupin contributed to Snape's bullying more actively before the prank and maybe less so after (possibly reasons for this are in the post linked above).

Then there's this exchange between Lupin and Sirius, which takes place after Snape enters the room under the invisibility cloak, but before he reveals himself:

“Sirius here played a trick on [Snape] which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me -‘ Black made a derisive noise. ‘It served him right,’ he sneered. ‘Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to … hoping he could get us expelled …”

Whatever excuses antis might make for Black having tried to kill Snape when he was just 16 (or 15?), here he is as a fully grown adult responsible for his actions and well aware of the meaning and horror of death, and yet he's still doubling down and saying that it would have served Snape right, though he was still technically a child, to be killed just because he was nosy. It also underlines Lupin's lack of consent in the prank that he uses a passive voice to describe his own role, ie. that Black was the one to play the "trick" and that it involved him (Lupin), instead of describing it as something they had done together.

I find this to be the biggest contrast between Snape and Sirius - they have both seen darkness and suffered trauma and deep, deep losses as a result of where their lives ended up in ways that run parallel. Both lost their best friends and feel guilty for causing their death. Sirius feels guilt because his choice to abdicate his role as secret keeper resulted in James' death though his intention had been the opposite, and Snape feels guilt because he was the reason Voldemort went targeted and killed Lily, though that had not been his intention. Over a decade later, Snape has become a person who, while emotionally stunted in some ways, has changed his values and ethics and we see him become someone who doesn't harm Sirius even when he's vulnerable and unconscious, and who we later find out values life regardless of whose it is. Sirius, on the other hand, emerges from his own experiences at the same time to a place where he seems to be in a suspended adolescence in most ways and still feels it would be justified to cause Snape's death for being nosy. While it can be argued that Sirius, at this point in PoA is still experiencing his trauma actively as an escaped convict, I think it can also be argued that as someone who has seen and experienced the very real impacts of loss and darkness, it seems petty, vindictive, and skewed for him to still hold a grudge against a former schoolmate with the same intensity as he did before these experiences. ie. that most people, having seen the horrors of war, will think back on their perspectives of death and revenge as their old pre-traumatized self experienced them, and see the naïveté and childishness.

Therefore when Lupin says, "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?” it feels ironic, given that Snape is acting on the urge to protect Harry and his friends from a man who not only showed his willingness to murder as a child but has doubled down on that choice as an adult just minutes earlier, and a literal werewolf who at no point has defended himself and made clear that he was not actively involved in planning the prank that could have resulted in Snape's death. Sirius, meanwhile, is right there, still immersed in his schoolboy grudge and filled with hatred for Snape who he must know by this point had been a spy for Dumbledore. After all, if he was aware from what he overheard in Azkaban that Peter had been the spy, then he must have also been aware that Snape had been one as well, given that Dumbledore said so openly in a courtroom full of people, including loose-tongued prisoners like Karkaroff.

That scene in the Shrieking Shack is so complex and laden with so much once you know the characters' backstories. There's also an interesting progression in the three times that we know Snape to be in the Shrieking Shack: the first time he nearly dies, the second time he's knocked unconscious, and the third time he does die. As a tragic character who spends much of the story willingly sacrificing himself it's almost as though Rowling is showing Snape to be going towards his death again and again until it's finally time.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

I don't know how to ask this, but, like, I like reading Marauders content but sometimes I read some stuff about them that makes me think I'm a bad person for that. Like. They were bullies. So, isn't horrible that I like them anyways? How can I? Don't I think bullying is bad? Am I making light of how bad bullying is? I wanted to ask you what you think. Like, do you ever get affected by these feelings. Do you ever get affected by how other people see these characters. Do you ever get affected by people implying you are a bad person if you like character X?

Snape says they were bullies. Snape doesn’t tell us that far from being a harmless little loner, he was in fact hanging around with Mulciber and other mini wannabe Death Eaters (Sirius tells us). This gang bullied muggleborn Wix and called them slurs like mudbloods (Lily tells us), and we’re also involved in using dark magic against other students (Lily tells us Snape’s mates did this to Mary). Snape tries to pretend it was no big deal (it was a joke, he says) but Lily angrily disagrees. Snape used dangerous curses like Sectumsempra against people he hated eg James Potter, which btw he invented himself.

James used Levicorpus against Snape which btw was a curse that Snape had himself invented. James wasn’t happy that Snape was salivating with glee at the thought of discovering and proving Remus was a werewolf. Lily wasn’t happy either. Despite their rivalry, James saved Snape’s life when Snape made the dangerous and frankly terrible decision to follow Remus past the Whomping Willow on a full moon (yes Sirius was wrong to tell him but that still doesn’t make it his fault that Snape consciously/deliberately put himself in mortal danger to out one of his classmates because he hated them).

During 7th Year, when James had deflated his head a bit and was mature enough to be named head boy, Remus tells us this:

‘She started going out with him in seventh year,’ said Lupin.

‘Once James had deflated his head a bit,’ said Sirius.

‘And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,’ said Lupin.

‘Even Snape?’ said Harry.

‘Well,’ said Lupin slowly, ‘Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?’

Well, tbf, no, you couldn’t.

So you see, as far as I’m concerned, there were two gangs who were fighting a bit like the golden trio and Draco’s mates, and Snape was just as mean to James as the other way around?

But at least the marauders were fighting blood purist, racist, bigoted little shits who clearly made it known to everyone that they were planning on joining a murderous fascist- dictator type whose forces terrorised a minority group and were at war with innocent people (1970s Wix UK).

So the marauders went out of their way to antagonise these feckers (who clearly did the exact same thing to them). And? I’m not even sure that counts as bullying. It’s not very mature, and I’d prefer if they didn’t, but if my child went out of their way to antagonise bigoted eejits I’m not sure I’d be especially unhappy about it? I might even secretly be quite proud? 🤷‍♀️

[monstermonstre]

Favorites from the 2024 31 days of horror challenge

Second year in a row successfully completing the challenge, fourth year in total since I started doing it.

The posters above represent all of my favorite watches of the month, only including the films I watched for the first time.

The month didn't feel great to be honest. I watch horror year long but pushing myself to watch one horror movie a day was harder than usual. For one I wasn't feeling as much like horror, sacrilegious I know. I was also just having a hard time staying focused. And in the end, I felt like I watched a lot of duds. Some of them were my fault: I knew they would be bad going into it. I was just hoping they'd still be entertainingly bad, but most were boringly so.

However I am glad I made this post because without compiling all of these posters, I wouldn't have realized how many great new watches there actually were. Perspective, people, get on it.

Detailed list and thoughts under the read more.

Perfect Blue (1997), my first Satoshi Kon finally! I didn't like this as much as I expected to and it almost didn't make my list. But I have been thinking about some of its scenes regularly since, so it did have an effect.

The Innocents (1961), if I had to make a top 3, this would have to be in it. Gorgeous, tense, so well executed, incredible performances. I joked at the start of it that it felt like Birth (2004) and then uh...joke was on me.

Fireworks (1947), a short from Kenneth Anger. My favorite of his so far.

Strange Darling (2023), another one that almost didn't make the list. I think people are overrating it, and that "THIS WAS SHOT ON FILM" intro card was criminal. But it was fun, and some moments in this I really liked.

Personal Shopper (2016), this one had been on my watchlist since it came out but I watched it at just the right time. I had just finished reading Claire Cronin's Blue Light of the Screen and I think my experience watching it would have been so different without this book. If you like ghost/possession stories, if you were raised Catholic, if you like essays about horror, read that book.

Bride of Frankenstein (1935), this triggered something in my brain and I am now obsessed with adaptations and works inspired by Frankenstein (that I still have to read, it's next on my list). The bride is barely there but when she is...The presence! How much she says without saying anything!

The Ravishing of Frank N. Stein (1982), a short animated film in conversation with the Bride of Frankenstein. Highly recommend.

Norway (2014), a satirical dark comedy from Greece with vampires. I'm sure a lot of it went over my head without much knowledge of Greek culture and its 80s history but if anything, it made me want to read more about it. Fun, dark, unusual, some incredibly beautiful shots, a lot of heart.

The Big Shave (1967), an early short from Scorsese and I recognized him just from how shoots that bathroom before the protagonist gets in there. Almost as gay as Kenneth Anger's Fireworks.

Martin (1977), another incredible lesser known "vampire movie". Fucking tragic.

Stopmotion (2023), such a nice surprise. For some reason I expected to find this mediocre and mainly went into it out of curiosity for the stop-motion element, but good thing I did because I found it much better than expected. Reminded me of May (2002). And the stop-motion was very powerful.

Best of the Worst: Halloween Spooktacular 2024 (redlettermedia), OK so this isn't a movie but it's about 3 movies and it's 1h48 long so it counts. So so fun. If you don't know the channel but you like people reacting to B-movies, you should check it out. If you know the channel already, you'll know if this is for you or not.

Chainsaw Bunny (2019), fun claymation short. Oddly sweet.

The Invisible Man (1933), another hit from James Whale, has anyone heard of this? Just kidding. Definitely one of the must-sees. Dr. Griffin is an actual cunt but it is so delightful to hear him laugh as he terrorizes everyone. The special effects still hold up.

The Brood (1979), I made a terrible mistake picking this as my last film. I wasn't feeling great and a lot of my personal triggers are in this and it is so fucking depressing. Despite it not being the mood at all, I couldn't help but finish it and I'm glad I finally saw it. Will need to revisit when I can immerse myself more fully in it.

[dragynkeep]

Aight I just had several rwde revelations so imma just list them all here because what the fuck.

First of all why do the schools have uniforms? Like we're supposed to see the huntsman academies as like a private high school but the age range makes it more like college. So does that mean the 4th year 21 year old seniors still have to wear the silly school girl skirt blouse and jacket as adults? If there is a standard uniform why isn't it more unisex and more fitted for battle like combat boots, cargo pants, protective gloves and jacket. Like what that's just embarrasing.

Weiss and Yang's conversation back in volume 1 when looking for Blake, Weiss made a comment about worrying what Blake will say when they find her because in her words, "the innocent never run Yang." And that is such a privileged take, plenty of people who are not guilty are forced on the run because the system will do more harm if they let themselves be taken in. Also very hypocritical of Weiss since in a few seasons she sneaks out and runs away despite not technically doing anything really wrong or illegal either!

And in a similar vein when Ironwood sees Weiss in volume 4 and fucking bows to her and apologizes like sir what? She's not actual royalty and you know her in an informal sense what's with this weird bootlicking he's on the same social level as them. He could've acknowledged her in a normal way like good day Miss Schnee I'm glad to see you are well after the battle. Just what was that??????

fetishization of school outfits, specifically for school girls cause look how many upskirt glances we got when the main girls were in their uniforms & how fucking boring they were lmao. the fact that it's so gendered just reflects the fact this supposed "gender neutral / inclusive" world is also incredibly gendered & the misogyny that comes with that isn't exempt from the way the writers created this world.

also to the point that certain fans take umbrage with aus trying to be more inclusive of this aspect.

weiss very much showed the ideal of the writers in the "innocent don't run" mentality because we see this throughout the rest of the show & how the copaganda mentality perpetuates through the mains. that's why it's hilarious when people will throw sun under the bus when he's "stowing away" on the boat & propose this as a "valid" reason for why he faced the brutality from the human cops & then the unquestioned racism from one of our mains that was never resolved.

they just ended up throwing so much onto weiss that made her entirely unlikeable. james bowing to her & the quirky "jokes" of her riches as if they weren't gotten off the backs of exploited faunus & that the cop mentality through her from the writers hasn't entirely demonized the fandom is just awful to see. she's never held accountable, she's never made to change or even makes the attempt to do so, & in fact we get quirky jokes from her & blake, a supposedly oppressed faunus, about the riches of the schnees & how useful it is for them in that moment.