#jkr is a dick

[erinwantstowrite]

I don't know if someone asked you this question yet

But what Hogwarts houses do you think the lof cast would be?

i might have some controversial opinions here so i should preface that i prefer the headcanon that the placements at Hogwarts are more decided on what you want rather than what you are. But also some of these are placed on their personalities

refresher for anyone that needs it or for anyone that doesn't know:

"You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, If you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning Will always find their kind Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends"

Alfie- Hufflepuff

Bruce- Ravenclaw (curiosity is a big trait of his)

Dick- Gryffindor

Jason- Hufflepuff (i will die on this hill)

Tim- Slytherin (I am not opposed to Ravenclaw... but I feel like it just fits his character better)

Steph- Gryffindor!!!!

Damian- Slytherin

Cass- Ravenclaw

Duke- Gryffindor

Babs- Slytherin

Peter- Hufflepuff

Tony- Ravenclaw

Pepper- Gryffindor

Happy- Hufflepuff

There are others (like Natasha and Steve and them) but I honestly don't know as much about them

Qualities that tipped my decisions:

-All of the Hufflepuff characters could be considered for Gryffindor, but what sets them apart is that even when kind to a bunch of people, they are all people that guard their hearts close and value close bonds. Whereas Gryffindors are the type to jump into caring about people fiercely imo

-I think Dami fits all the houses very well. He's brave, loyal, loves to learn, and he's cunning. Ultimately, Slytherin fits his personality better, and it doesn't diminish his other qualities. You can be a Slytherin with a big heart, and Dami fits that bill for me (FUCK that whole "Slytherin is the evil house" bullshit that really grinds my gears)

-Tim being Slytherin... listen, he's got all of the Ravenclaw qualities. But he takes all of what he learns and he runs with it. He has goals and plans for shit that not even Bruce's level of paranoia can cover. He just so happens to have a big heart as well, in a slightly different way to Dami's

[stolen-wolfbread]

I have been trying to figure out what Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian's Hogwarts houses would be.

At first, I thought:

Dick -> Hufflepuff

Jason -> Gryffindor

Tim -> Ravenclaw

Damian -> Slytherin

But the more I think about it, the more I feel like it might actually be:

Dick -> Gryffindor

Jason -> Hufflepuff

Tim -> Slytherin

Damian -> Ravenclaw

[wafflinglumos]

Guys, Sirius canonically did not care about the prank.

He shows ZERO remorse for what he did, I don’t know why this fandom absolutely adores absolving the marauders of their flaws, but it’s quite annoying. Sirius, canonically, did not care or feel remorse for what he did, he in fact justified what he did, and I love Sirius, he’s one of my favorites but come on, he sucked as a teenager, as did all the marauders.

I’ve also seen a lot, a LOT of people try to make Sirius’ actions come from a place of self defense, or some type of retaliation for something that Snape did but that’s also incorrect. His exact reasoning is(down below)

"It served him right," he sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to... hoping he could get us expelled..." -Sirius in POA

After that Remus remarked that Sirius did it also because he found it amusing, and Sirius did not interject to disagree.

Also, a lot of people forget how important the prank was to James’ character, up until that moment James was to put it bluntly a complete dickhead to Snape, and vice versa sure but James was a dick, however he went out of his way to save him, and sure you could argue he did that for Remus more than Snape, but he still saved Snape. Diminishing the prank to just wolfstar angst is objectively incorrect.

Anyways, I still like “the prank” angst, but really guys, he did NOT care like at all. I also feel like there is so, SO much more angst potential with Sirius’ canonical feelings, rather than the angsty “it was a mistake” route that the majority of this fandom takes.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Someone started trying to guilt the person who blazed Rupert in the notes for not having spent their money better and suggested they should have spent it on humanitarian efforts.

If you come at someone to judge how they’re spending fun money, I am gonna block you. It was a sweet and joyful gesture, it made me so happy that more people would get to see this excited teens art project, and it made a ton of other people joyful that something wholesome and weird was put on their dash.

[stiffyck]

Reading a pretty recent fanfic only to be hit by a sudden Harry Potter appreciation in the middle of the fic really do be feeling like a punch in the face

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

My two favourite discreet dick jokes:

Ravenclaw’s motto/slogan/whatever being “A wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure”.

Taylor singing “You didn’t measure up in any measure of a man” in The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.

The best part? None of those two were intentional, probably.

[cringefaecompilation]

idk guys but i think "black lady making a parody campaign of an overrated kid's book written by a transmisogynist where they mock the original book and its writer at every given venue and it barely feels like the original" is not nearly equatable to "white guy making a joke about an asian trans woman having a dick in her intro, immediately calling attention to it by laughing at his own joke, and not developing that poor trans woman as anything more than a mildly antagonistic force/love interest for another trans person"

[its-a-hare-pom-pom]

Every time I even think about Harry Potter: I’m sorry I’m sorry I love trans people I love Jewish people YOU GUYS ARE COOL IM SO SORRY IM NOT AN ASSHOLE I PROMISE

[bisexualseraphim]

People who see entire demographics of humanity as “the enemy” are so baffling to me, whether they’re incels/misogynists or racists or radfems or whomever I just look at them and wonder why you’d choose a life of such misery. People of a certain gender, sexuality, race or whatever demographic are not inherently your enemy just because they are part of said demographic. Gender and race essentialism is incredibly dangerous and untrue and it especially confuses me when people who claim to be trans allies abide by the former because that mindset is especially dangerous to trans people.

People are individuals, not a hive mind. Society as a whole has massive issues, and some groups may benefit from them more than others (like how the patriarchy hurts men but they still benefit from it far more than women ever will because it has men in mind, albeit only a certain type of man), but individuals are individuals. And what a depressing life it must be to instead navigate the world believing that millions of people are beneath you before they’ve even spoken a word.

[armandism]

its been said many times but the fact alone that the hp millennials only ever call the actors by their characters name is so ridiculous. "professor sprout said" no she didnt say shit because she doesnt exist. miriam margolyes however said what needed to be said

[rewritingcanon]

also hope the antisemitism is treating you well 💝

zionist shit stain alert

[wafflinglumos]

Annabeth Chase vs Hermione Granger (this is half serious pls do not get upset at this)

We don’t even have to have the Percy vs Harry argument because we, for the most part all agree, that Percy Jackson wipes the FLOOR with Harry “private school” Potter, however, I’ve seen a lot of people compare Annabeth and Hermione and I wanna look more into that, I am a die hard Hermione AND Annabeth fan so ZERO ill will shall be spoke of either of them(unless need be)

I could point out how their general personalities are different but I’m going to start with their trios, starting with, Grover and Percy would NEVER treat Annabeth the way, that Ron and Harry treat Hermione, let me explain,

If Annabeth were to try to dismantle an unjust system built on the mistreatment of house elves, Percy and Grover would’ve IMMEDIATELY been on board, along with the fact that they’d praise her for it. When Hermione was trying to dismantle the way house elves were treated and tried to fix it, Ron and Harry just kinda went “You’re trying to change an unjust system that treats house elves as sub servant?? Well NERD NERD, it’s this way for a reason NERD, your stupid puke badges are DUMB” obviously I’m paraphrasing and being slightly dramatic, but that was basically it.

Before I get yelled at, yes, Hermione had her flaws, yes, Hermione sometimes sucked, HOWEVER, Ron and Harry treated her like dog shit sometimes, that’s not a controversial take or me hating on either Ron or Harry, that’s just canon. You could argue that Percy and or Grover treated Annabeth bad sometimes, but to counter that, no??? They had spats, yeah, sure, WHO doesn’t but NOT to the extent that Ron and Harry were literally ignoring her for, (checks my notes) telling McGonagall about the wizard equivalent of a Ferrari that Harry received with zero clue who it was from, while a serial killer was running loose.

Romione vs Percabeth, Percabeth OBVIOUSLY wins, however, I like Romione so I will be pointing out the positives in it as well as the negatives, while I’ve seen people argue that Romione is unhealthy or toxic(though they’re often dramione shippers??? The call is coming from inside the house) I’d however disagree, Hermione and Ron had a build up, and, by the end of the series(BOOK not movie) they were like THE most compatible of Hermione’s love interests, excluding maybe Viktor, they’re not unhealthy nor were they toxic, all of the arguments and everything that we saw and or read was setting it up, Ron and Hermione, objectively are the most compatible of BOTH of their other love interests, that’s not to say that they’re the healthiest ever, but I’d say their relationship is fairly healthy.

Percabeth is everything to me, and one of the healthiest written relationships I think I’ve ever seen, so, no deep diving into it, here I don’t think.

Anyways, moving on, the “Hermione vs Annabeth” or “Annabeth would totally win against Hermione” debate, I have reached a conclusive consensus,

They wouldn’t fight.

They just wouldn’t, sure, put them in a fight to the death and Annabeth Chase is winning, but still, they just wouldn’t fight.

[doratonkslupingaunt]

I'd say this is the trans woman JKR fears but she thinks this is a hero, so...

[book-addicted-thing]

also it's weird how JKR was perfectly content to have a whole plotline about Tonks being in love with Remus even though he's older than her but didn't let Dean and Seamus get together because it "would distract from the plot"

sounds like homophobia to me

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

The engorgio spell was definitely made by a trans guy who wanted a dick. Only later did he think to try it on other things.

[gimme-da-sword]

Fuck jk Rowling