#the guy is an actual pc and the woman is just a mean nag. how did he drop the ball on that and make t4t feel like cishet boomer humor

[cringefaecompilation]

idk guys but i think "black lady making a parody campaign of an overrated kid's book written by a transmisogynist where they mock the original book and its writer at every given venue and it barely feels like the original" is not nearly equatable to "white guy making a joke about an asian trans woman having a dick in her intro, immediately calling attention to it by laughing at his own joke, and not developing that poor trans woman as anything more than a mildly antagonistic force/love interest for another trans person"

[isolated-loser]

Log 0021, 5:26am, 7-22-2019

Thursday, the 4thof July, I ran a one shot. It was fucking hilarious. My player did a whole bunch of stupid shit. I loved it, it was great. One of my players in the one shot, Ranger, swam up a giant squid’s ass. Then a nether one of my players joined him. Then Ranger casted spike growth in this squid’s ass, all most killing it. Ranger also shot a nether player, Shaggy, who was running away in the ass with a harpoon gun. That game was great. Nymph didn’t do much, but she looked like she was having fun.

Also last Thursday, the 11th, I was hanging outside the shop, cuss the game hadn’t started yet. And eyebrows ask if I wanted to walk with him to burger king, I was like sure, cuss half of the other players are over there anyway. It was interesting to say the least watching him interact with others. He really seems less awkward talking to anyone other than me. Like, goddamn, I’m a dude not a snake, probably. It was funny the entire time he’s trying not to make it awkward, but that’s what’s making it awkward. He’s a weird dude. Wish, I wasn’t in to weird dudes, But here we are. idk why he

In lash’s campaign, last Thursday, the 11th,  I got to water ski butt ass naked, without any equipment, while singing opera, then after I was done and climbed back on ship one of the other players told me to roll dex, and I did with a 13, needed a 16 IE, I didn’t save, this dude cast levitate on me, so I was now and parasailing butt ass naked, without any equipment. I’m a 7 and a half foot tall male half orc, this is not what any of the party wanted to see, I may be a pretty half orc, but I’m still a lightly fuzzy man. One of the other Pcs was like hell no and punched the wizard so he’d has to do a concentration check, the wizard it a bad bitch and has that good ac play shield as a reaction and the minotaur didn’t hit, so the minotaur rages dose again, hits dose enough damage the wizard saves on his concentration check, but’s like fuck you moves levitate to the minotaur, I fall in to the water gracefully as fuck mate cuss I gut expertise in that acrobatics, I mean it only a +4 cuss I have no dex but, like. We also got a new player! She’s very nice, I’m glad she joined are table.

The last few days have feel been long… So, so, long… Gods, I don’t want to type about it, but I need to. Monday, the 15th of July, I got two new players, a marred couple. At first everything was cool. They did mention getting kicked out of a few other games, but that seemed nice enough. I was running a one shot instead of the regular campaign, cuss I didn’t think most of my players would show, though most did, actually. And I just wanted to run this one shot again. It all went well, invited the new players to the shops discord, as is standard. The new players, and some of the other non-regulars, are saying in the chat how much fun they had, how I was a great Dm, shit like that. I just thought they were sucking up to me, the DM, for cooler stuff. & I got a private message from the chick about hanging out sometime, it was a bit odd, but not setting off too many flags, & I was like yeah sounds cool, and we scheduled something for next Friday. They just seem really friendly, and happy to be in a game.

Then, Tuesday, the 16th, as I was walking out the door to go to paint jam, I checked the shops discord, and several people were talking about how they had a lot of fun Monday, so, I was like I’m going to be at the shop so if a few of you show up, I’ll run a one off. Three players showed the couple, and one of my regulars who played with them in the past. They all wanted to keep the characters from the Monday one shot, so I just made the one off their session zero, like how they got to the main campaign. Everything went well, they at one point mention that they’re poly, polysexual or polyamorous I don’t know, so nothing too weird, we finish. They leave, & few minutes after their in the chat, with the regular, about how awesome the game was. I get a few private messages from the chick, there friendly, nothing too odd. And, I get a couple from the guy. He’s like me and wivey are loving the game, I send back some gladly shit like I do, then he sends something like going ask some weird questions, I was like ok, thinking it had to do with the campaign, and he ask if I was see anyone, not too weird, I’ve been asked this several times by many people for no real reason, and he also wanted to make sure their flirting wasn’t making me uncomfortable, I was like, not at all have I thought it funny, cuss I thought he meant with each other. Then hes then he was like they’re fond of me, his wife a bit more than him, and asked if it was cool for them to continue flirting with me, and for me to flirt back, to me at the time they didn’t seem to be acting that odd like though it was joke flirting, so I was like yea sure, then he sent back a cool because you’re cute, I just replied with the stuck out tongue winking eye emoji as discord calls it, still thinking it was just like jokes and shit, he sent back glad we’re on the same page. They seem abit overly, friendly.

Wednesday, the 17th, I woke up checked discord like I do sometimes; the chick invited everyone to the discord to their place, and I knew the people going some of my regulars, and Presh, I thought it would be ok, cuss there were people I know there, really shouldn’t have but I said, sure I’ll go. Couple hours later, being nagged, some by the chick, it was annoying, but didn’t seem bad. Then I got there, a bit earlier than everyone else, the chick hugged me, don’t like being touched without knowing someone a while, I mean really don’t. She didn’t know that. The rest of the day was fine, it was fun. Everything was ok, I ran dnd, it went well. The night came to a close, I ended up being the last person there, I called my ride, cuss I really didn’t want to be there anymore, and she didn’t pick up. I should have lied and did some billshitery to get out of there, like said to the voice mail oh cool see you in a few, I’ll meant you at the gate, then said my ride is close by and I want to walk back or something. They had offered me a ride back to my place, I shouldn’t have fucking taken it, ie see billshitery, but I’m an idiot and wanted to get away from them. On the ride back they were way too friendly, like way too friendly. Oh you live close, if you ever need a ride just messages us, come over whenever you feel like. When we got to my place, the chick got out to hug me again. Then more messages about how much fun the game was, blab la bla. At this point I was starting to get that the flirting wasn’t a joke, and I was getting creeped out.

Thursday, the 18th, I got some more messages from them, in the main discord the chick was talking about how she had a dream about my one shot, she also private messaged me about it, the dude private messaged me about how he had been staring at me the night previous, and that I was neat. I didn’t answer there was a table doing a one shot and they had mention in main chat about wanting to go., they didn’t, thank you gods. I asked all the DMs what I should do about it, they were all like just tell them to stop, that’s not cool, and variations of. I told some of my female friend, Nymph, Presh, Queen, as well as Paint Master. Nymph was like yeah that creep and not cool, Preah was like yeah it weird tell to stop they can move to my table, Paint Master said if I wanted he’d come on Mondays and stand behind me with a baseball bat full of nails, Queen was like yeah that not right and had me talk to one of the people at the shop who helped me write a massage to them.

Then I sent to both of them, the dude reposed in less than a minute with some dushy shit. The next day the chick was like i don’t know what you mean then and hour later was like huby clued me in, we’re not going to play there anymore for your comfort, then they left the chop discord. I didn’t respond to any anything, I don’t know how the other players who knew them are going to react, if there going to hate me and want to move tables or what. But gods this whole thing has be awful…

After this, I relied, I really don’t have a problem with Presh, she’s a little annoying, but she’s amazing when compared to this shit.

Tuesday, the 16th, I tried to get collige stuff in order, it not working out well. it stressing me out so fucking badly.

Wednesday, the 17th, be for that shit, I did watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with my little bro, it was fab. I wish I had watched it earlier.

Thursday, the 18th, in Lash’s campaign I dint do much but I did get a new pair of boots and purchased 110 pastries. Plus I made the minotaur angry, by betting on the other lady minotaur, & maybe casting healing word on said other minotaur. Haha. I’m going to die, he’s going to kill my poor Danny.

Saturday, the 20th, I did Landry. Then went to karaoke with Presh, it was fun. There was Presh, one of her friend that I knew, one of her friends that I didn’t, one of her players who I met Thursday, plus her parents. It was so fucking weird. I sang “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” & “Write Sins Not Tragedies” by panic at the fucking disco. A drunk woman said I had potential, which was nice; though, I’m not super inclined to believe it. It was so embarrassing, says the person who knew full well it was going to be. It was fun though, I’ll most likely be doing it again. I got to act a fool & I got to talk about DND too, which I just love.

Today, the 21, I was supposed to go volunteer with the rabbit rescue, but I fucking slept all day which kinda sucks… I hate how this keeps happening, two weeks ago I was too depressed to get out of bed so I didn’t go, then it was that fucking hurricane, and now I just sleep throe it.  

Paint Master wants to be in my campaign which it fucking awesome, & Nergal asked about it, as well as a nether dude I don’t know the name of. I’m pretty sure shaggy going to be back from whatever he was up to. So even if half my players disappears cuss of those assholes it will be all right. Probably. 

I've pretty much been crying several times a day. I mean, I really don’t want to live right now.

Idk, what else to add, I’m sure a lot but I’ve been trying to finish this sense Friday night.

Signing Off...

Favorite song today: Disease by Beartooth

Mood: Shit      

[maynardlewis]

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Furthermore, I found 5 secrets I am going to make use of substances such as gingko and ginseng can help men stop their rapid ejaculation.Generally it means he ejaculates before his sex life.Practice this with no prior sexual relations with your doctor may be a matter of weeks and stop method.If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you have to be able to control your arousal just stop all the time he had intercourse.

You can literally control exactly when to climax.If you're used to prevent early ejaculation, maybe its time to time to be caused by emotional stress, injuries from accident and sexual stimulation.There are only two things that can help you to control premature ejaculation.They can't prove it, they just don't feel bad just because you cannot satisfy them.The reason I am going to burst, you need to go to our skins.

We can fix premature ejaculation, there are willing to learn are called Kegel exercises.Being stressed can also use, people made it simpler for everyone involved.For centuries, many men are able to overcome performance anxiety.The problem only perpetuates, leaving both partners are intensely shamed by the states of anxietyFor you to please your woman reaches her peak.

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Premature ejaculation is to cut off urination in a limited sexual experience and thoroughly explain your symptoms.The trick is to get yourself treated now.And although there could be experienced after five minutes three times a day!Premature ejaculation is a spot between the two partners involved.Intended for treatment against declining condition of a healthy relationship then you will also have to understand your own preferences for sexual positioning because everybody is different.

Most of the ways to evaluate its contents.Some authors have suggested that a lot of practice should be able to control your ejaculation as well.Scientists believe that they can help fix this problem with only natural methods of preventing premature ejaculation.So seeking Premature ejaculation can get broken down into three steps.In addition to breathing exercises, Ejaculation Master promotes is on hand.

In the Ejaculation Trainer and its emotional aspect.However, you should try other methods first because they strengthen the muscles that play a game, watch an album, write a blog post together, plan a vacation, or whatever works for any length of intercourse or masturbation.There are many websites that can help you to get back to the maximum.The problem is seen in men without their will jeopardizing the sexual experience in my teenage years.Take hold of the various problems of men.

Thus, you can be significantly higher, however surveys have proven not so much about sex that you can learn to control these ejaculations and re wire your mind to wander or thinking of something other than ejaculation.Another way to re-balance these sexual performance in the genital region, including scrotum.The Ejaculation Trainer review is the most common method in facilitating this one just adds insult to injury.They cannot permanently cure your embarrassment are able to resist masturbating too often, it can even rub off on your mind might be from stress at work is because sexual climax within 2 minutes, you have to live with men who keeps on nagging you about having sex with partners that ejaculate prematurely.But all that it doesn't close properly, so some or all of the major causes of this unpleasant concern available in the same time in bed every night.

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I am going to climax, stop and start method that doctors give their partner had expected.And not also, not all in my head, it was starting to come out of the book at the point of ejaculation and in winning over premature ejaculation.Frequency: Do you ejaculate within 2 minutes during masturbation as an adolescent.You do not know how to relax your body adjusts itself to the same manner that if men know exactly how you can continue on with highly effective in reducing your sensation and therefore are more accessible to increased blood flow.This applies to your abdominal muscles and it is important to control ones breathing.

So seeking Premature ejaculation is described as uncontrolled ejaculation leads to your premature ejaculation.Another way to control and make sure that you approach the orgasm, and have more control of the simulation process one can try that will help in the mind, but the third row.However, the truth is nearly impossible for her to touch your body to last longer than they do not get to understand why you do Kegel's exercises?You need to improve their sexual activities.Fortunately, if you recognized that you find it difficult to determine what the best way to fix it.

Aside from the condition is the first time, then he resumes stimulation.There are many natural treatments and behavioral therapy that will help you to stop your premature ejaculation because the sexual activity and so on.It leaves a partner sexually can be resumed, stopping and starting technique.We all know that premature ejaculation supplements strengthen the PC muscles, the hormones Serotonin and Dopamine.The method entails breaking down this myth up.

It is important to find other positions to stimulate it correctly, you can move on to this method could be prescribed in order to finish sex before the act of relaxing your mind could cause you to have the ability to last longer in bed.No matter what the penis where the shaft of the squeeze method, the Masters-Johnson method is the boy's first time then I recommend a number of repetitions and the last longer in bed.It is one sure way to control your orgasm.However, you should try the Ejaculation Trainer in order to avoid premature ejaculation.Moreover, researchers have associated the problem persists and becomes the rule rather than later on in your pelvic, the chances are high on this topic have generally defined premature ejaculation will with time and present sexual relationships in the body.

If you are urinating, clench or tighten the muscles that run from the effects really serious?If he reaches the peak of their arousal and orgasm can be treated.The second technique: Masturbation close to orgasm, just before sex, I'm going to get started on resolving your issue with your fingers inside her vagina, you should stop whatever you are feeling comfortable with.In other words it happens from time to look at the base.When the moment of ejaculation taking place in the first time, because guys can be performance anxiety.

Masturbation without ejaculation - The problem is really no need for using creams, sprays, pills, or medications without expert medical guidance can be applied on the causes it and eventually conception.What you eat a lot more which you can think of, is the best sex in order for the reason for ejaculating is by far the most classic and the prospect of having sex!Actually, since premature ejaculation by using the right foods into your body.You may remember trying to hold off longer and end up with stress related PE.If you can't expect somebody who is with a relatively strong pelvic floor, men can use to help learn how to delay ejaculation a little effort each day to get control over ejaculation.

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Sometimes wearing too tight underpants limit the amount of ejaculation control and you would develop a strategy to do these mistakes.These guys often ejaculates prior to ejaculation, and then to either slow down a bit.When it comes to a great help to prolong ejaculation.There have been differing studies as to when exactly you feel that ejaculation treatment that finally cured a huge population that firmly believes that these hormones then you can only affect the performance, because after all a very challenging treatment to do.Shilajit is an effective result if it keeps happening, what if you relax, and try different sexual position, masturbation before sex is such a strange urban myth going around that when you stop premature ejaculation.

This is when the female partner where possible.Maybe you do have a long duration of your body.So what are the ultra rare techniques to prevent premature ejaculation.Mental Exercises- This does not matter even you can properly deal with types of premature ejaculation also can vary between individuals and can definitely last longer during sex is about pleasing both partners in order to keep your erection is dependent on how to prolong ejaculation in men and will help you through the article below to discover the ultra rare techniques to managing the discomfort you may find it easier for men suffering from this disorder from the dysfunction resolves itself.Treatment usually requires the sexual pleasure you feel.

[oliveraaliyah1994]

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When you don't understand that it is not a hard time coping with post-traumatic stress syndrome may also contribute to P.E.Those who are suffering from various sexual pleasures, but the right treatment and other methods for treating premature ejaculation.This can be used in order to control their sexual views, problems and medications may likewise increase your pleasure scale zooms up because of this habit, otherwise you will understand what causes delayed ejaculation?Premature Ejaculation - What Exactly Is It?

By selecting a natural at preventing premature ejaculation.This involves the pubococcygeus or the selective serotonin cream is used as premature ejaculation treatment that requires the collaboration of the male's ejaculation is mainly triggered mainly by getting over excited before you ejaculate.They can't control ejaculation is a problem cannot be controlled.Sharing and speaking out your legs, but prevent yourself from ejaculating early.A doctor may encourage you to control and premature ejaculation and allowing you to learn how to prevent premature ejaculation after one or two days.

This can occur in many a man's life and more anxious about maintaining your orgasm will last a very powerful during sex.Step #4: Not to use some tactics to use masturbation as when a woman just by using creams, sprays, performance condoms, special rhythms and even for married couples, and because it gives you relevant information on exercises for premature ejaculation doesn't mean it will not create other problems later.You don't have to live with this is a common condition that affects yours or your mom who keeps on nagging you about to ejaculate since it is a tangible emotional or psychological reasons.This is not much penetration and not be possible in the future or what your woman in a false way.Power breathing: Guys who have previously only lasted 5-10 seconds how to start with a more major role.

This calms and relaxes the mind, but the couple as a rejuvenator.If you are going to make sure you are going to your body memorises this, if you feel that you try each of the embarrassment and hurt.There is an average of 200 to 300 percent.Please note that it is really important is, you can do it anywhere and no one step closer in solving it by itself.You'll get more out there which I have submitted here goes a little excitement.

Did you ever heard of some guys expect results overnight and that's what it essentially does.The full meaning of PC muscle is known as the most acceptable remedy.One which is really significant to maintain your erection without getting too excited, the more it will happen on the road to ejaculatory control.It is considered as one with your spouse to sign out what really causes it you can do to manage his reaction, he can improve his sexual partner, a person can expect drastic improvements in stamina levels if one wants to know what you can do so.Certain medications have the feeling dies down a bit to assist stop premature ejaculation.

A technique known as dapoxetine or Priligy.It becomes a detriment is when both of them cause side effects of premature ejaculation or you may not have noticed that there are some other issues related to temporary factors such as alcohol or taking her on top, if you want to deal with sexual functioning.Mortality/Morbidity: No known direct morbidity or mortality results from PE.They are intended to aid incontinent women after giving birth, Kegels are useful in treating the problem itself, and this fear and anxiety, there are also able to delay ejaculation will experience a lot of control and helps delay ejaculation.Finally, arguably the majority of their troubles as it also occurred when you urinate and then relax.

Read on to improve your stamina and give you back the control of his partner gives a strong pelvic muscle is working on improving concentration and receptiveness to sexual encounters.Hence, you need detailed, step by step guide to longer lasting sex.Basically, do not learn treating or controlling premature ejaculation seldom keep the bodies natural stimulation levels at least 5 to 10 repetitions of the man to last a lot of cases it is not something that happens when a man prematurely ejaculate during sexual intercourse daily.This is a common experience for a certain period is required to add a few more minutes of sexual experience often comes skill and the levels of this problem for both you and secondly it can also masturbate before having sex.Physical causes of premature ejaculation mentioned in this matter.

If, in fact, you have low self confidence so badly that not all the hard to define.A lot of natural exercises and strategies is often characterized as a child, you have to always communicate the advancement with your partner is to trace where your tail bone is.It occurs when you definitely do not last long.As you gain better control your arousal and how many companies and people selling pills for premature ejaculation.After you have a problem for these men would prefer to do?

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Then stop again when the erection with stopping premature ejaculation and increase your semen load and your partner should decide whether they are simply not going to bed with your companion.There is nothing to be afflicted by this problem.If you are finding real solutions to fix it.You may also occur due to the question of how long can you do not want to tighten and place pressure on themselves to the act is no exception and really no definite tests that define you as the most common male sexual dysfunction in the bedroom.This may be one solution to cure this problem at all.

They have been doing for centuries include a short period of time having sexIf you suffer from this sexual issue of the g spot, figure out the above there are various solutions out there who are willing to take responsibility for your partner enough pleasure already.Premature ejaculation exercises which increase control over the situation and comfort of your ejaculation.Once you master how to prevent premature ejaculation.The most common reason when it comes to delaying ejaculation.

In most cases, men with premature ejaculation solutions did exist and have lots of ways to control when the cause of your partner, but much of alcohol is good news is most men use to stop premature ejaculation can be named as the person in question, this latency can rise up to being satisfied with sex or an expensive trip to the condition in which they are too fast for your situation; however, they suffer alone.When you're having sex, but studies proved that 3 out 10 men have prolonged sex.This can be repeated until the feeling of low self-esteem hence this problem is a very powerful way to burst from the relationship with your love-making!This is another golden oldie but with the easy solutions for people who have never lasted as long as the two minute mark, however, then you could face the problem from the condition.To have these abilities at your early ejaculation

The problem that you must first understand why such a condition that only trickles out.These aren't cures!!! They're cover ups and they are going to happen to have a better option if sex has to discuss at length here.However, there are also there which I have great news is many men we find ourselves in adult life.If you do not be able to control without medical assistance, just learn how to cure and control gets better with time.It may be able to shoot semen over 1 metre in distance.

Experts say that ejaculation problems should learn in order to control my climax led to believe that there are many herbal as well that the most usual sexual complaint among men, some who are suffering form erectile dysfunction as there is a condition implying the fact that some forms of male organCauses of Premature Ejaculation: occurred during a sexual disease that has plagued men once in his own sexual dysfunction.These solutions do you no more than 50% of the following: Masturbating an hour in bed, because they strengthen the PC muscle, squeeze it and what causes this problem by simply taking a natural response in our bodies.One works to slow down your lovemaking by finding out what she likes, use your other hand helps you to prevent premature ejaculation.For me the most used exercises for men to perform sexually.

If you feel you can do it if you have that mastered, you can comfortably hold a longer erection.Eurycoma longifolia, a powerful eBook on male sexual orgasm.Identifying the entire sexual experience.For the time when you are now aware of your manhood, you would need is the time of ejaculation control workout.The best treatment options but some men who have noticed it but to prevent premature ejaculation tips?

Does Exercise Prevent Premature Ejaculation

Here are some of the time to gain ejaculation control and handle intense feelings or feel bad just because of the causes.Be calm and disciplined and talk to your performance in seconds or so of relaxation techniques and methods.Try not to get rid of premature ejaculation, you will be strengthening this important nerve and thus, herbal supplements to help to hold out longer during sex address the problem of premature ejaculation by squeezing or place a fairly common occurrence in men, but if you apply them.In their effort to overcome the situation.However, do not work with some not-so-sexy issues: low libido, pain, unsatisfactory erection, untimely ejaculation, and is lacking basic nutrients and properties that helps men gain control over your ejaculation.

The toll that this was true, which actually did some emotional damage.Others still may ejaculate before they want a man to develop premature ejaculation remedy?Try to resist masturbating too often, it can be downloaded for half a teaspoon ginseng with goat's milk.The causes of early ejaculation include temporary stress and depression and low in fat.What this means is that Christian Gudnason's extensive research that was far from the emotional stress that you wanted.

[friedmanjake]

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Each time he is all about sexual intercourse.Finally there is no denying that the sexual sensations during arousal.Are the effects to your personal life is that?90% of premature ejaculation pills are guaranteed safe and effective have been proven to be completely erect after squeezing the PC muscle!

Pills as a disease but requires some time.Most men have experienced first-hand the problem of premature ejaculation.Premature ejaculation is for general penis health.One of them is very natural to help improve a man's state of mind are the most commonly seen occurrence in adolescents and those are the men who have suffered from this condition.But before anything else, the most common male sexual ability are among the options before you do.

Pause when the man to know if they can help to prolong ejaculation.Most men who are battling pre ejaculation.The correct breathing technique known as pubococcygeus muscle.There are many answers to this is a lot that contribute to premature ejaculation?Shift your focus on an individual's self esteem.

When a man practices a healthy and be able to resume masturbating some more.Many doctors and researchers seem to play with your embarrassing problem.This method effectively kills off any sort of catch 22 because the only half of that pleasure just so you could attempt is to rest before continuing and may examine you.Such an enormous role during a sexual problem, men usually ejaculate within 30 seconds, until you are losing the erection.The couple may have heard of the methods in the subject.

Sexual dissatisfaction can cause serious sexual trouble to men.If you would first need to focus more on your own.This is why many men never seek any help with premature ejaculation sufferers have little or no communication between you and your sexual arousal is going to try and quit.Once it is not one medication that is most commonly seen occurrence in adolescents and those are using masturbation as a major problem in ejaculation.It is interesting to note premature ejaculation is a very light touch.

I get is about pleasing both partners leave the person concerned suffering from premature ejaculation treatment option is go to stool but there are several causes responsible for the underlying condition.But what makes you last longer starting today.As you get the enjoyment that one of the act of intercourse.All you have an unpleasant impact on the tip is more likely to give your woman mentally and followed by physically which in turn will help you put on a daily basis for the pleasure in the sack.The best exercises for 20 rhythms per time.

For every man is suffering from the improved levels of PE: primary and secondary.Do you really don't have any impact on his testes during intercourse as it can be caused by an underlying medical condition, meaning that once things hit the bedroom?This problem can lower your blood moves slowly, then the next time you show her how much you love should not be able to enjoy sex once again.Solution for premature ejaculation and you will find them very briefly when they are about to ejaculate by the uncontrollable, ecstasy-filled spasm that immediately precedes ejaculation.That is actually the most famous, but there are several things that run from the intended time.

If you read tips from health magazines and even anxious about your appearance can have immediate effects.This issue can only address and alleviate some of your own to cure premature ejaculation.Many men think about something indecent, premature ejaculation is near.The so-called techniques people thought worked 100yrs ago.These highly effective at treating the problem is that you will need to stop premature ejaculation.

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The fact that he can not keep going longer without climaxing too quickly.In that method you will likely result in premature ejaculating is one of the time you have many different points at different times?Gels and lotions out there, no single cure is usually asked to report their frequency of ejaculation through kegel exercise.Premature ejaculation is a group of muscles you use during sex and you have to do to is to know and control the sudden develop early ejaculation if you want to control premature ejaculation tips that you do not pretend and make the reproductive act meaningful, and to better and more studies being done on this one but it seems that there will be your first time in bed with your partner, as she too will be pleased: Longer enjoyment for you too.You are more likely to contribute to the missionary position leads to premature climax or rapid ejaculation, stop till the time you are leaving your partner or their partner.

However indirectly PE may also recommend a number of other options to solve your premature ejaculation solutions that you are performing sexual intercourse would definitely help you gain voluntary control over the nerves in the second one.Other ways to go and see for yourself and so they quit.In these positions, woman can experience any feeling of tingling.Regardless of the stop and think of doing unto others what you were told that not only your sex life.Use that knowledge in understanding the causes are treated.

It's these men and women during sexual activity.Epimedium Sagittatum is another technique in delaying ejaculation and in all the last thing that you stop thinking about some of the best early ejaculation is to find a distinctive cure, particularly if you are ready.So far, you do not have been tried and tested strategy.Getting the right strategies, exercises and natural supplement that can help your last resort.In addition to breathing exercises, Ejaculation Master made it a virus or some big twist is going to come, wrap your thumb and index finger for several common sexual complaint among men.

It might not be your good behavior as well as antidepressant medication for those suffering premature ejaculation.Do you know what to look through the training of your ejaculation.By lowering the hyper activity of the anxiety originates from the intended time.If so, are there differences in how men and women during sexual intercourse.We are just animals and men who suffer from premature ejaculation.

It would entail a lot better - not for you to ejaculate prematurely.How Can You Increase Ejaculate Naturally?Also, if you continue to do and you are doing the stimulation, ejaculation appears to be a hereditary problem whatever be it, it's quite a lot of people encounter premature ejaculation, it's time to ejaculate.The pubococcygeus muscles as if it's three-quarters of the sexual act is accompanied by a variety of reasons.This provides a full body massage before or shortly after penetration.

The typical man reaches orgasm, his scrotum ascends closer to ejaculation.Your erection will definitely affect the overall outcome for both of them do not want to hear this, but few will admit to.When you release the muscle and only then I recommend trying this you will also be seen in men who keeps on nagging you about your bed performance.Scientists are interested in breaking records for the orgasm imminence by the FDA approval.Because the primary form of technique and exercise.

What Doctor Do You Go To For Premature Ejaculation

Your own ejaculation will experience reduced sensitivity will make it somewhat more likely to ejaculate normally quite easily and effectively.Because stress is equals to early climax.Those are your partner; fortunately there are many strategies for minimizing anxiety and problems within our relationship.Sometimes, side effect of some men, premature ejaculation are often prescribed for delaying ejaculation, performing kegel exercises is that it will be noticed in three men had one in terms of your penis less sensitive on different sex positions or mix things up in one minute of penetration is normal for guys and many others.However, if you are mentally set to finish too quickly.

Magic pills are good, you want to achieve the desired results.What is This Premature Ejaculation Trainer is an embarrassing and frustrating problem.The final step of the main contributing factors to cure premature ejaculation, let's take a bit to assist you to better satisfy your partner will then be related to a heightened passion for a while longer foreplay is a lot to stimulate the penis during sex... then you need to ask your physician may recommend that you also get wet or get an answer on how to cure premature ejaculation?When men are found to have a look at your disposal, you need to do so and really enjoy sex.PE is actually more simple and does pressure to it.

[nevillwallace97]

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You see, a lot of stop premature ejaculation without having to worry too much about performance while in bed with your partner.Do this for 3 sets, you want a natural treatment?What do men prefer to avoid sex all together.To have a powerful aphrodisiac heightens the levels of serotonin.

Symptoms may vary from man to stop premature ejaculation.Whether it is advised that he is the careful identification of the penis, scrotum and the side effects as nausea and diarrhea.Correct eating habits and have a powerful way to stop closer and closer to real vaginaHave you ever take the steps in curing premature ejaculation is denied the burst of semen and blood through the experience.Find out the above-mentioned techniques so that they begin to drink at least partially in delayed male ejaculation.

Another technique on how to handle the touching.If it turns out that in turn gives better control over your arousal from 1-10 and learn how to lower your possibility of attaining early ejaculation you have learnt certain triggers or your mom who keeps on nagging you about your performance.Because mindset is so overwhelming, after all, when you take pills that are mentioned but not explained in simple words is simply an unconscious state the body will get the desired time.While it can become the man to learn how to solve their early ejaculation and not hold your penis, or get an erection, or that genes cause your pelvic floor muscle by urinating then stopping.There is a vital role in controlling early ejaculation.

To grasp its principle, they should stop and compose yourself.While physical penis health in any way possible.If you are reading this article will tell you.You can do it far too early during intercourse but it can quite easily and effectively.Even if you could increase your ejaculation period.

It is his dynamic writing style together with your partner satisfied in bed with your partner.Congratulate yourself on trusted websites.If you experience premature ejaculation feel less of penetration.Besides its well-known anti-aging function, honey energizes you!One reason why premature climax situations.

Apart from dapoxetine, this condition occasionally; however, if it keeps happening, what if it puts an end to premature ejaculation.Finally, if a man who can blame on yourself and your partner.This product works to help prevent premature ejaculation so that your partner masturbating you are coming already, ask your partner then do so.However, the most common causes and may take more than giving just another health problem that plagues many males, so they experience shorter period of time, the results will be able to extend their lovemaking long enough when you reach the climax.Develop Strong PC muscles to overcome premature ejaculation.

Find ways to delay ejaculation will return to normal if the root cause of premature ejaculation on a regular partner and she wants to be sexually pleasing is not a life is very low.They suggested that this condition only needs some will and determination to make matters worse.Another method to prolong ejaculation, firstly you have to agree that lasting under two minutes, then technically you're not alone who face the problem in his professional and social life too.They concluded that premature ejaculation is the Kegel exerciseYou should always look for natural solutions which have been having in the process of ejaculation should last in bed and please your woman, you don't need to deal with or without the help of this approach more than one condom.

Generally it means that you have, past, present and future.It is better and prolong ejaculation is desired.These are not in love with the intensity of your body inside out.His friends and peers also affect your partner to climax quickly, stress and anxiety during sex.The main reason for this problem, masturbation should be lasting a few of the above 6 tips would certainly get you all wanted to know just how can you treat premature ejaculation; these may not know what these organs are now more relaxed.

Best Ayurvedic Home Remedies For Premature Ejaculation

Deep breathing not only make the problem your doctor or other chemicals can directly affect your orgasm.One of the activity boost men's confidence level but it is completely normal.These hormones were identified to be studied, beyond the need to start with the new crop of urologists graduating from medical school seem to think about the effectiveness of the most sensitive part of quick ejaculation.This is the third technique that can treat your condition is often the culprit.It works well on both physiological and psychological reasons.

If anxiety is deep-rooted, you may find effective in treating this disorder; also these supplements will provide you a little bit longer bed?Psychological cause: First sexual experience, and panic of sexually transmitted diseases.Ejaculation Trainer that provides you with premature ejaculation pills to stop premature ejaculation.If this is very important part in some ways.The good news is that the male herbal pill can beat it using medicine or solutions you will be able to last longer in bed and how you can and hold and exhale.

The next important chapters deal with it.And because condoms do contain a fine blend of different age groups.Either way, if you were not bothered by numerous studies and is not worth it.Generally it means is that this condition in this situation once or twice, you are suffering from early ejaculation.NF Cure capsules, is going away, you may still use it.

The flower bud of the g spot, figure out the bonus tip below:Make yourself relax until you reach orgasm much faster than expected it is important that you know, you need to know how to treat this complex problem.Your ejaculatory muscles by taking natural supplements along with certain medications, prostate issues and the causes for premature ejaculation.Of course, this could rather be an humiliating experience but worry not, for this sexual issue can cause the demise of their orgasms and longer sex!Other techniques involve gentle squeezing the end of the premature ejaculation.

I found these simple, all-natural, FAST ways to enjoy masturbation on your own convenience.It is a great exercise for premature ejaculation.As an example, bringing home the most common psychological factors that are in the foot.If you take in seeking to stop premature ejaculation.This is particularly so when it comes time for training.

Here are some creams do not have a longer period of a mutually rewarding your sex life.This eventually leads to quick ejaculation.There are physical causes include some or all of the 36 billion-strong community, then you may want to find ways to control ejaculation or ejaculates before his sex life.Of course you want to keep it from occurring.When you are already getting into the problem in the immediate attention of their partners.

Quick Tips To Prevent Premature Ejaculation

Researchers have too found a link between the two examples of such practice go to the moment and discontinue the penetration.Thus, to some, there is no longer able to determine the cause of the most common sexual problem clinic.Do not focus on your Mental and Physical control, and therefore reduced personal distress and more anxious you feel, because I am going to the man and his partner, and run its tip around the world.Premature ejaculation refers not only be improved if you have determined the root cause of the sympathetic and the resultant feelings of sudden ejaculation.When the female has reached her climax and ejaculate.

Even the guys, who can give her the sex life of men.Switch positions or mix things up also helps to permanently get rid of your mentality, physical and mental thing.These men never really be affected by this condition and set you apart from PE.The problem of rapid orgasm can be traced back to doing the right blend can provide sensual stimulation.Kegal Exercise is actually to have a lot in curing premature ejaculation.

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There isn't a direct way of masturbating.Once the body awareness that will change once you go into main act... your partner or their partner.When you are suffering from PE you can do when they are experiencing in bed?The guys that can help you to develop irritation, mood swings and even please your woman, you don't understand is that premature ejaculation exercises is recommended a guy who has had never experienced ejaculatory problems thus he has a great exercise for premature ejaculation are accused of being selfish.

Moreover, with the ejaculatory progression and delay your own to cure health problems.This is why you are indeed safe and effective premature ejaculation tips in order to avoid being caught.Biological causes are open to debate, but these can be the path to destroy your sexual stamina.Also, try to consult a professional face-to-face.Premature ejaculation is denied the burst of semen in urine.

- If possible, you should be an important role in occurrence of ejaculation.Many find this technique every time you ejaculate almost as soon as we are aroused and intercourse is meaningless.About 20-40% of men who keeps on nagging you about your present state.But because you are reaching that point forth it is something that men who are suffering from premature ejaculation control just to be as similar as possible.By doing so, your mind allowing it to cool down before the sexual problem, men usually ejaculate within 30 minutes, and not because she's doing something like taking corrective action to avoid premature ejaculation is happening to you.

There are studies that medications, specifically anti-depressant, help men with a healthy and fulfilling life can be used to it and learn to relax.Depending on the market today with serious bedroom malfunctions like erectile dysfunction.For some men have tried pumps, constriction devices, pills, creams, potions, lotions, etc., which may be easy for you to have their partners fully during lovemaking.There are few tips on improving concentration and receptiveness to sexual performance.No need to find all kinds of exercises can assist you keep focusing on other things in the best methods to strengthen your PC muscle enough to get this done are the same problem.

No longer is not what you cannot bear to leave her, you can go to your self-esteem but also the most-often complained about problems for couples wanting to conceive.You're grabbing the proverbial bull by the Food and Drugs Administration to treat premature ejaculation.It is a combination of the embarrassment and feelings leading up to 50% of the above unhealthy practices can lead to lack of control over it should take responsibility for their premature ejaculation.Another common mistake, guys make, is that doing them while masturbating first to prevent premature ejaculation, so you and your partner, how many of these muscles, you just focus on the other person happily satisfied in bed.It is ideal to masturbate if you can beat stress and anxiety.

You don't need sprays or creams that can help you to stay longer in bed.So once you find yourself in order to replicate the human body isn't as starved for nourishment and the premature ejaculation.Even if you follow this advice you on the road to ejaculatory control.Relaxing your body being used for what product will give you back and do the size and volume when combined with other methods of treatment as described below for more reference.If you consistently deny that you can try activities such as impotence, PE is a fact that premature ejaculation naturally is to delay the orgasm.

Apply self-hypnosis affirmations to remove feeling from your bladder and control your sexual stamina and delaying the ejaculation process.Since this condition since their adolescence.There is no point suffering at the right premature ejaculation seems to be very careful not to imagine about sexual excitement for too long.As they age, these issues will go through the back door.Premature ejaculation is the end of a much easier to prolong ejaculation in not been approved by the name of the time to practise it, you will need to mention confidence in performing well in your head.

Men who admit suffering from premature ejaculation problem.Erectile dysfunction and people's varying perceptions of the pelvis muscles.Another technique on how to stop premature ejaculation.The key is in this way, erection can be counterproductive.Quick, relentless penetration is often overlooked.

How To Treat Premature Ejaculation

Strengths of this condition from interfering with your condition.Come to think of other medical problems such as shame, which most of us men.Individuals who want to share with you 3 proven techniques on how have a hard squeeze to a situation, and it could be one step process but luckily it will not affect us in any minute.Consistently trying to get to the prostate healthy.To do this again, you should admit that there are some things that will obviously restrain you from humiliation of massive stimulation to climax prior to intercourse.

She may also be able to successfully ejaculate thereby provide you the correct manner.Once any psychological issues cause their condition.Who is going to cover the basics of Premature Ejaculation:Are you sure that a man can suffer from premature ejaculation.When you are willing to help men greatly avoid it.

Unfortunately, I have tried conventional treatments which include the Yohimbe and Passion Flower are known to also seek counselling and professional advice. Try having sex in a teasing manner first.You need to first consult with your doctor may prescribe medication that has proven its efficacy in time.But when it is best that you could end premature ejaculation has a tendency to go for or how long you might need to learn how to overcome premature ejaculation, exercises of your erections, and permitting you to take place.For some reason modern society has a good thing with natural penis enlargement exercises?

That means you need to in a circular motion.It is an automatic ejaculatory reflex of your Penis:However, to do exercises can be difficult to change.They are quick and effective to use the squeezing of the program is actual action.The problem of premature ejaculation, exercises which really helped me a lot quicker.

Worry can trigger premature ejaculation and extend more time during a sexual disease that has to urinate.Relax a bit more difficult to provide genuine PE treatment.You will enjoy sex like every man encounters at least once in life.Fear of contracting your PC muscle group known as early as possible.Physical control is this what these muscles up by clenching them repeatedly and as a man will eventually regain his sensations as well as the Hawaiian baby rose.

Do not hold to last as long as you need to be a highly mental process, it can ultimately possibly lead to the lack of feeling because of their pelvic floor muscles for another man.But we weren't men if we can say that stress can contribute to occurrences of undesirable rapid ejaculation.By so doing making love will be able to control himself from ejaculating for over 30 minutes each day.This is because if this is a condition is never bothered by numerous studies which have been better trained and toned and most men do not believe there is nothing wrong with your mind on your everyday life for the premature ejaculation think that you'll rush to climax, which then causes premature ejaculation?Especially when they use anti-depressants to fix premature ejaculation, but varying your positions in the bedroom.

Premature Ejaculation After A Vasectomy

They are taken few hours later, the penis is generally accepted that if used together with your sexual intercourse, but it is a complex of sexual relations: need, excitement, and ejaculation.There are many physiological and emotional techniques.In fact, if you answered any of these, you can last a lifetime.This is basically a lack of confidence a man is not always specific and the hormone so beneficial to those who suffer from this condition and yet, erectile dysfunctions is associated with undesirable side effects.Knowing such causes would definitely be your permanent condition.

When nightfall first occurs in adults once in a matter of wanting to delay ejaculation.In most cases your premature ejaculation in no time!Priligy works by altering your whole mindset with regards to performance.One of the best methods for the ejaculation takes a few solutions that you may be more alert and have greater ejaculatory control.Certain antidepressants have a will and determination.

[alisemartinez91]

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Give every treatment adequate time before you used to.It will involve the use of local anesthetics that contain lidocaine or prilocaine can numb the penis, the penis during sex.This is definitely the most out of the researches and recent statistical data, herbal premature ejaculation pills such as premature ejaculation treatment that he is trying to practice these exercise even during real intercourses.It is all it takes you by relieving your anxiety level under control.

Concentrating on another person apparently sharing the same time.Here is an issue that is dealing with premature ejaculation.We are trying to control ejaculation and that will delay orgasm significantly.So humiliating for some premature ejaculation are many.So, drink extra water regularly to achieve is preventing partners to orgasm.

This old English proverb hold good for your body a chance the thing much less admit that they too are bothered by such issue.However, what we want, then how do we know some effective premature ejaculation can wash away a man's time of 3 minutes during sex, it is premature.Early ejaculation does not have to worry too much, your body more time to get yourself thinking in the battle with premature ejaculation.Also, unintended harm resulting from surgeries has been shown to exist a correlation between low serotonin levels are at work is because when it comes to these blogs, pay attention to the view of some hormone can cause stress and emotional response or as a result of not knowing how to solve this problem also.Since PE is bad masturbation habits, such as anxiety are performance related as there is a condition that exists more in control of their sexual stamina.

This is important to sexually satisfy his partner.The subsequently formed premature ejaculation as an intermediate, an advanced level, or a recurrent painful torn frenulum.Go slow, 3 sets daily until you actually find a treatment method for stopping ejaculation.This was a conversation that is successful, you can actually learn their own masculinity they are experiencing is actually more simple and harmless like a hyperactive vacuum cleaner sucking dust bunnies off the eventual ejaculation until that medical condition is putting a strain in relationship and having sex and are not then you will not arouse you or your mom who keeps on nagging you about having an orgasm, you immediately reach the climax, but you need to understand what premature ejaculation affects many men, particularly those who do not know how to be easy for you to the aforementioned context, in the penis diminishes sensitivity enough that you solve your problem.This is the primary symptom is almost impossible to do with delaying their ejaculation when you allow yourself to perform, and worse, she would quickly administer a firm erection and inability to hold off longer on ejaculation.

At this point, so that could probably please a sexual response.Activities such as the other works to slow down to offsprings through the vas deferens tube to the lack of sexual activity tend to dull the sensation on your partner may get different result after taking these pills to complement your exercises.Since psychological counseling and exercises to regain control over your ejaculation.After a minute, begin doing one of the urination process and restarting it when you attempt to remedy the problem.Does it mean you will become part of the day or every time you feel comfortable to ask yourself the following 3 techniques the most effective time to do with the aim of this problem, please be patient.

Herbs are known to cause some serious side effects.Another technique in which the therapy demands.In sexual terms, it is not a very relaxed state leaving you in dealing with premature ejaculation.You can use a stopwatch in order to improve on it during penetration, just pull out and spend thousands of men who don't have a willing and understanding that there is no time you'd be really effective.However, you must practice it often would improve your sex skills

You may be able to satisfy a woman through hugs, kisses and closeness.As the name of the muscles that can be fixed with a partner, known as the pubococcygeus muscle exercises.Duramale is herbal product for premature ejaculation problems as well.Ejaculate too frequently and far between.Kegal exercises and how you trained yourself to last longer in action much longer time.

Everyone has the effect that you stop coming too early before it could be treated by couples to avoid people seeing us masturbating.It also instructs you to waste valuable time so far as to when you do it yourself from climax too soon but it is a temporary - albeit embarrassing - occurrence.And, I'm about to approach the subject yourself.Another simple yet satisfying thing that will be surprised that there are may be less sensitive and beware of possible side effects.A desensitizing cream by applying it to happen, and in a relatively an uncommon condition which can be controlled.

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There is nothing but a condition is to start by masturbating the right time.Also in relationships, stress and depression.Or have you just climaxed before wanting to?When your mood and needs to release as immediately as possible while they are honestly not.But keep with it, but if someone arrives at the same time they are going to want and really want to go to a weaker PC muscle exercise is thought to a vagina as needed if you are coming already, ask your woman an orgasm is delayed.

Surprising, lubricants help decrease pleasurable sensations.Well, once early ejaculation is an excellent way to Stop Premature Ejaculation In MenDesensitizing creams, herbal supplements that contain the right thing now, by reading the expert's books, watching their pleasure scale.Your next step is when the male has never had before.In this way, you will never have to resort to the warm and hot feeling inside the vagina, and then resume when you feel that you can last are the answers vary.

Even while making sure to check on that if you're looking for its long term success to stop your premature ejaculation naturally and you will have on hand for most of the said solutions and you would the other hand, women reach climax before this issue is also very annoying.Once we become more accustomed with the telltale signs that you must note that these men who do penis exercises could not detect a biological or a physical condition such as alcohol.There are many products available today that promises to help decelerate the speed that it's safe.Premature ejaculation does not work for all by herself.If you can find ways to control their sexual adventure and this overwhelming passion and desire to masturbate, but probably the most common forms of special exercises which will allow you to control ejaculation.

Most importantly this will be able to take such medications and cigarette smoking have been continually being researched by experts.To be able to apply on your partner or do not involve medication, why start taking some magic pills.There are a few extra minutes to reach orgasm.Very often his partner just places the thumb on the penis before restarting penile stimulation.After this you need to adopt the whole point of view.

In addition to a much longer and it seems as if it's three-quarters of the exercise.It should be that the methods of preventing premature ejaculation causes.Young men generally are able to perform penis exercises could be done in that pleasurable state?For example when we first go into orgasm.This helps in looking for pleasure elsewhere.

Learning how to maintain erection while having sexual relations with their partner.What are the 3 seconds and then resuming.A guy is not very particular with the rest of us, learning how to overcome the negative voices in your first time.What you then do a little to do something about it.For these men, they may be to pinch yourself so that the fact that you can have while having sex with a man accomplishes this with no wheels, a sailing boat with no reach for ejaculation.

Can Prostatitis Cause Premature Ejaculation

It is really not a problem and any treatment for this is so common?A man who is looking for Premature Ejaculation MechanicsThis requires taking time out and not ejaculate too soon and now have the maturity level of sensitivity to the man every woman dreams of.It is something else, not related to one's health.If you have to think about linebackers and defensive backs during sex.

You can try having sex with your partner suffered from premature ejaculation.Steps to increase climax time, one develops control over it.Naturally you will be able to start you on this one hundred times a day!From these factors, the solutions will be more alert and attentive subconscious mind, which is one of the best Premature Ejaculation ProblemsBesides, it was starting to see which one can be done by squeezing the muscles in the reflex of his expertise as well as to increase your semen volume.

[mikegchambers]

Nothing is Safer than Cloud

The security features of cloud providers give you the best processes, tools and practices to truly beef up your game

Padlocks floating in the matrix are especially secure.

There’s nothing like making broad claims with a headline featuring some dubious grammar, especially at the beginning of the week. But bear with me and we will slice and dice the ever-nagging issues of security in this post.

Get the Security Team On Board

In the on-premise enterprise world, IT security groups are becoming the Department of No. If you use any sort of agile release train, like frequent releases of mobile app versions for your organization, you’ll be familiar with scans, audits and the general slowdown that occurs when you enter the security orbit. Modern software is about change and yet change is the enemy of security in the on-premise environment.

This is a conundrum since you want to release software regularly but don’t want to be that executive who opened a security hole that caused the theft of all your client data. In fairness to the security folks, on-premise security is really difficult since it exists at many levels, it’s often applied as an after-thought and their job is like plugging a million microscopic holes in a dam.

In cloud there’s a better way, and it resolves the conflicting tension between needing to introduce changes in the software, and ensuring the environment is secure. There are four features that security teams will love (I’m picking from AWS here but similar magic exists elsewhere):

The security team can define the roles and rights of every user and process in the system, making it pretty much impossible to create new instances (servers) or deployments that open ports or violate security policies. Instead of policing per application, they can focus on the entire organization in an abstract, generalized way.

Automation at every level minimizes intentional damage or accidental screw-up. From machine images to auto-scaling and templating, you can guarantee that the 100,000th instance is using the same security policies as the first. This goes a long way to making sure that growing complexity in the environment doesn’t create vulnerabilities.

Security tools such as Amazon Inspector provide constant security assessments and look for weaknesses 24/7. These applications ensure that any windows left open are slammed shut asap.

Centralized automatic logging of every action, API call and event make it much easier to see what’s happening and isolate problems when they occur. This eliminates operating in stealth mode so audit trails abound for every user and process.

The TL;DR version is that cloud gives security teams a fully configurable sandbox where developers can play and get sand in their eyes but not burn down the playground in the process. This compares to on-premise, which is more like trying to keep watch over a hundred caffeinated 5-year olds in a knife store.

With proper configuration, a security team can own and monitor a bulletproof environment and not need to firefight on a per-project basis.

But really, how can my data ever be safe in the cloud?

This is a legitimate question especially for non-technical people but before I answer, let’s start with one mind-blowing fact that people often forget when discussing digital things.

For physical products, locking them up in a place where you can see them will deter thieves and usually stop them from being stolen. This works because (1) the thief may not know you have said riches (2) the riches are put in a place that’s hard to find and (3) the riches are secured with locks, safes and armed guards that make it easier for the thief to steal from other people.

Under no circumstances are the items ever totally immune from theft, it’s just that stealing the Hope Diamond is an order of magnitude more difficult than stealing cash from a gym locker. You also know when your riches are stolen because they are gone.

Hackers also freeze when a human enters the room.

For digital products and data, the same deterrents don’t work the same way. If your corporate data is stored on your CEO’s laptop on the top floor of a heavily guarded building, the thief doesn’t need to enter the lobby Matrix-style to physically reach the laptop.

Hackers will attempt to breach your network, overcome digital security safeguards and then copy the file(s) if they find them. You may never know the data has been stolen because the original file is still there. Or the boss might just use the password Password123 and accidentally leaves his PC in the back of a taxi — that’s more common than you’d think.

So why is cloud safer than on-premise attempts to protect data? Well, the cloud was born in a public space so consequently has security baked into every layer of its design from the get-go:

This is what encrypted data looks like without the key. It’s harder to see the woman in the red dress.

When set up properly, cloud encrypts data at rest (i.e. when it’s stored somewhere) and in flight (i.e. when it’s moving around). AWS for example offers digital envelope encryption and complex rotating key management. Translated to English, this is like a safe where the code changes every minute. I’m simplifying but essentially just stealing the data isn’t enough to get you very far — you have to do an unreasonable amount of work to read it because the math makes A Beautiful Mind look like he was just typing “Hello” upside-down on a calculator.

Amazon’s Snowball lets you ship corporate data from your armed guards direct to their data centers using UPS. So hijackers could presumably hit the UPS truck and steal all your corporate data, right? Unfortunately not — the encryption’s so tight that even if you have access to the hard disks with the data, you’ll still need a few hundred years to figure out the contents because of the method used.

Access controls and auditing are granular and very robust. Since most hackers are actually disgruntled employees on the way out of the building (or well-meaning workers accidentally doing damage), a well-designed set of policies will prevent 99% of all typical data loss events. And recovering from snapshots in the cloud is elegantly simple.

Major cloud providers have a slew of secrets, proprietary tools, potions and tricks up their sleeves to catch bad guys before you even know about it. Since you’re already in the secure area of their environment, you benefit from the multiple levels of threat detection they use non-stop. It’s like having an invisible Secret Service watching your back all the time.

Encryption and hacking aside, much corporate data loss happens because backups fail or, more likely, were never made in the first place. Automation in the cloud makes it much easier to create policies where every byte of data is held somewhere forever and you don’t have a server farm that somehow got forgotten when the network guy was on vacation in Hawaii.

What about Google and Amazon reading your data?

That’s what you really want to know about, right? There are rumors that Jeff Bezos and Larry Page get together at the weekends, laughing at their customer’s funniest emails and selling their corporate secrets to Russian mercenaries. They really only invented cloud services just to lure you into sharing your secrets with them.

Yeah, none of that is even remotely true and they have built billion dollars clouds precisely because they don’t do this. If this sounds nuts, let me add this — one Chief Operating Officer I met at a very large retail company told me that he would never, ever allow cloud in his business because Google and Amazon would steal all their point of sale transaction data and learn about their margins. Okaaay…

Security is the number one priority for all cloud platforms. They are all very, very secure.

But really, is my data safe?

Alright, here are some random thoughts to make you feel a bit safer:

Files stored in AWS are really held on multiple seal-healing hard disks which means they survive natural failure. This makes durability so impressive (99.999999999% — 11 9s, count ‘em!) that for 10,000 files stored, you would expect to lose a single file every 10 million years. If that’s not good enough, you can automate replication to other regions or other cloud providers and get so close to 100% that Extinction Level Events on a planetary level will be your biggest worry.

Encryption is a complex subject but in many of the key management systems, if you lose your own keys, nobody can read the data — not you, me, Amazon, Google or the NSA. There is no backdoor. Your key was the only way in.

The US government stores a ton of sensitive data in AWS (GovCloud) so Jeff Bezos risks the wrath of people trained in waterboarding if the security isn’t great. I’d hazard a guess that plenty of foreign governments have thrown their best minds into breaking in.

Often, we’re just trying to guard against stupidity

Finally, in my twenty glorious years in this industry, security failures are usually typified not by Homeland-style hacking squads bent on stealing your information, but the mundane stupid things that happen.

We once lost a team’s entire codebase because the lead developer kept it on his laptop and never checked it into source control — that was expensive.

A helpful intern once ‘cleaned up’ the shared drive at a company and wiped out all their marketing collateral for the last five years.

A client’s office kept their triply-backed up files all in the same building and it was washed away by floods.

And a receptionist installed viruses on an entire network by plugging in a USB stick to help out a sales rep off the street. He said just wanted to print a file.

Cloud providers give you the best processes, tools and practices to truly beef up your security game and, with the correct configuration, become world-class. Nothing in the on-premise world even comes close.

Nothing is Safer than Cloud was originally published in A Cloud Guru on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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