#jk it probably will not happen
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loustat vs loumand? what about when louis and armand both accidentally or not so accidentally think about lestat while fucking one time and we get a masterfully-edited threesome scene? hmm? what then?
#THIS WILL HAPPEN#jk it probably will not happen#i just want to see all three of them together at one point...maybe s3 or 4 lmaooo#anyway no loumand hate here OKAY?!!#they are gonna fuck and suck and i will be there with popcorn#tp#text post#interview with the vampire
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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Because I’m trash, one of my own head canons I have is that Alexis was one of the “friends” Treasure had and was at the club that night and when Porter says “You’re friends suck” it was a double meaning. Also imagine Alexis listening and being in the corner of the bar like-
And Porter just being like
Anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk
#My headcanon#or just where I put Alexis in every story cause why not#also I love the Porter/Treasure stuff but don’t ask me what happens#okay this is all I’ll probably post for today!#might disappear#jk well maybe I don’t know I’m an enigma#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted asmr porter#redacted asmr alexis#redacted alexis#redacted porter
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I was having a decent day, until I remembered a brief, easily-missable side story in one of the first levels of Bioshock 2, where a school teacher and a group of children on a field trip end up trapped in the amusement park level you’re in when the civil war started, and how you hear from her audio logs how she willingly gave up her own food to make sure all the children were well-fed, eventually finding a final audio log on how she realizes she’s dying from starvation but still worries about the kids she’s watching, and you find this audio log by a corpse positioned in a resting pose surrounded by candles and drawings and stuffed animals and I’m sobbing oh god -
#Bioshock#Bioshock 2#video games#dumb stuff#when i first played through this level and found the audio log next to her corpse it destroyed me#just like in the first game where you find an audio log of distraught parents realizing their daughter is a little sister#and you find that log next to two corpses embracing each other and you realize they took their lives in grief#and then i got to the conclusion of the mark meltzer story in Bioshock 2 and was destroyed once again#the first two bioshock’s excelled at environmental stories using the audio logs and all of them are so good and make me super upset#but yeah the teacher one in 2 is especially devastating to me. what happened to the kids#did they all die? did they somehow make it out with jack? probably not! :)#Bioshock 2 is fantastic and anyone who says otherwise is dumb and has bad opinions#/jk but also kinda not really
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You really didn't think that one through huh?
idk if im sobbing, wheezing, or choking on my tea <3
#in short: AKSJBDAKSJDNASKNC#no yeah this is. The Accuracy lmfaooooooo#wally: avoiding the problem always works!#wally when avoiding the problem doesnt work: ....ohhhhhhh i get it now-#bbg pulled an oopsie fucking daisy!!!#wh modern human au#offerings to the bog#yk... i think. if the crash didnt happen#i think wally would have gone back. eventually#but not without Major fucking damage being done to his and barnaby's relationship lmaoooo#could they have come back from it? technically yes. but not the same. theyve lost something#BUT LUCKILY THAT'S NOT THE TIMELINE!#the timeline is worse but ends better somehow...#lmfao im imagining wally fuckin Ubering back bc home wouldnt start#and barnaby is just. in the front yard with wally's stuff in bags like a jilted lover asknasldknasldk#he winds up in sally's basement smhhhhhh#nah jk he'd probably wind up just living entirely in his lil garage-turned-art-studio#at least its a nice garage....#WHY AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT IT THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENS#< i say as if i dont think of at (alternate timeline) after at of aus-#what would happen If what would happen If If if If AAAAAAAA
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I'm one year older today, so I figured I gotta wrap a present or two~
.
..
...
... Wait...
... I got it backwards, didn't I...
... I'm supposed to be... uhh... the one opening gifts today...
... Oh, how incredibly silly of me...
Welp, I'm sure Ramattra doesn't mind~
#Borb's Scribbles#Overwatch#Ramattra#Unholy Abomination#rest in pepperonis my blog's rating#fr tho my bday is the time of year when i allow myself to be completely unhinged and self indulgent in art#bc may as well treat myself right?#my victim this year is our poor ramram#and i just so happened to be in the mood for something more... extreme... this time#i doodle sin every once in a while#tho it's been YEARS since i made sin that i would deem “finished art��#this is the first one of those i'm actually proud of#and HOT DAMN I did not realize just how much power i have in my hands-#shit i may just have to draw polished sin more often#because if i don't draw what i wanna see who will???#i have been disrespectfully staring at the other variants for way too long now-#...oh yeah did i mention there are rated e variants of this?#because OF COURSE there are#kinda wanna post them but tumblr would probably crucify me for showing robot schlong#welp ya'll just gonna have to live with that i guess lol#jk jk bear with me while i wrap my head around a website that allows this stuff to be posted-
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It's tattoo day!!
Drew a little vintage!transmasc Käärijä for the occassion :3 (the flag he is holding is the tattoo I am planning to get btw x'D)
#transmasc käärijä!!!#I need to find time to draw him more :'D#or maybe I should keep him as this silly guy I only draw for when gender things are happening in my life x'D hahahh#jk#it is hard to see but I tried to add top surgery scars non the first one :3#also look at me trying and probably failing at perspective x'D#transmasc#transmasc!käärijä#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#vintage käärijä#mine#my own art
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obviously it's wild that silver's response to flint telling him about thomas is to be like "sorry that happened but i noticed that all the people closest to you die, and now i'm the person closest to you so i'm worried about my safety," but it's even more wild that he follows that up with "but then i realized i'm so powerful now bc of how loved and feared i am by the crew that actually i'm probably going to be the one who causes your death, so..."
#black sails#john silver#james flint#imagine coming out to someone and they're like#sorry your boyfriend died but i'm worried about my safety now. jk no i'm not i'm actually going to kill you probably#not bc of the gay thing but bc all your friends/lovers die and i'm too cool and powerful for that to happen to me
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Linktober (Shadow) 2023
Spirit
Welp turns out my exam season throughly steam rolled through my general Linktober plans, so you get this VERY late thing for now folks who find this, at least until I decide whether to continue this until I finish it even though it's no longer Linktober or if I'll make whatever other stories come later their own thing after exam season is over (mostly because the original for this one is my preferred draft, and that I feel the one for the Link/Dark Link prompt would be kind of wasted if it just sat there collecting dust cause I worked hard on the tension and horror there lord darn it, along with a few others mainly involving Fae Hyrule, Twilight, Time, First, among other Links like Legend, Sky, Warriors, just all of the boys, I wanted to give them all proper spotlight and still want to do that in any way I can). Welp. *Downs coffee like a shot* Also really need to find out how to make a Masterlist on mobile, figure out how AO3 works and answer asks.
Anyway, not really any warnings this time besides Reader Not Being Okay (par the course really) and angst.
As always can be read as either romantic or platonic, Reader is gender neutral on purpose, technically is meant to be read as either Hero's Shade Time x Reader or First x Reader mainly, but you can interpret it as any Link really lol
Good reading!
This corner of Faron Woods was quiet this time of year.
The woods were solemn in this Hyrule, the sliver of moonlight barely enough of a guide through the mist, it was silent but for the soft padding of animals through the underbrush and the howl of a wolf in the distance (not Wolfie's, not musical enough). The stars were your only company as you were separated from the group, the air was cold agaisnt your skin as you attempted to find your way.
Being alone in the forests of Hyrule never spelled anything good for anyone, but as you felt the brush of a hand tenderly twined in yours, the ghost of leather and the faint clinking of steel, and a faint glow of pale gold and ivory cutting through the veil of the night, mindful of roots you may trip onto and never flickering too far out of sight you couldn't feel safer, even if instead something like melancholy threatened to lock your throat with the chains of silence, you felt as warm as the soft twilight glow and as frigid as ice, frostburned with the bitter cold of your own warring emotions.
You can't help but chuckle a bit whille holding a old scabbard close to your heart, it's a wry sound, "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
There is no answer, of course there isn't, but you don't mind, you know he'll listen, thorns wrap around your heart and crawl up your throat, the smell of lilies and steel coats and sticks in your throat like honey, or maybe blood, "... I didn't think you'd show up, you know? I always considered the possibility but..." You trail off, you feel something brush your side, you can only see him in the corner of your eyes or with a passing glance, there but not, existing but gone, so you keep your eyes on the road and in the flicker of light, so you carefully don't look to your side, you don't think you could contain the shaking in your heart otherwise, to stare at inevitability and prophecy, "... I know, I know you're fine. At least for now, I apologize for all the trouble I gave you."
'It's alright. It could never be a hardship aiding you.', the voice echoes in your ears, and you swallow thickly, breath hitching, the warmth of the sun in the fields of Hyrule, the wind caressing your hair, the song of the animals in Faron Woods, someone holding you carefully, fondly. The warmth of your hand in his. Not really here, but not gone either, more feeling than true echo.
You chuckle, and try to pretend it's not a bit breathless, something like a wounded keen, "... You're too kind. Too, too kind, thank you."
Spirits in Hyrule never spell anything good, in this wild land of light and shadow in a gestalt of divinity. There are some exceptions though, even if it hurts to witness then. So you follow him through the dark, certain that as you've guided his way once, he'll lead you now to where you need to go.
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... The clearing he leads you to is open, but by no means truly quiet among the trees, there is no peace to be found for the armored skeleton here. You choke on sorrow, on unfinished business, on the cruelty of being brought to ruin and being denied peace, and you stumble towards the familiar figure, almost in a trance as your vision blurs, roots and thorny vines wrap over rusted armor and a thorn cape, the skeleton's void sockets piercing through your soul, illuminated by the solemn gaze of the wretched moon and it's uncaring maids of honor in the stars.
You fall to your knees near the decaying skeleton, biting back against the wounded sound that attempts to leave your throat with enough strenght to bleed, you lay the scabbard by his side with a bouquet of lilies and shiver at the gentle, phantom touch, so soft, so loving it almost leads you to ruin all over again.
'... It's foolish to grieve for someone who isn't gone yet.' the thought comes to you, yet you can't help it. You still hurt for him, you still hold onto the fury at the heavens themselves for denying them quietus. For denying them rest over and over and over again. To watch this cycle and be helpless to stop it all due to the will of uncaring gods.
Alive. Dead. Alive. Dead. Denied full rest over and over again, to watch the chance at rest to the kindest of souls found in this world you found yourself in.
You barely register the touch to your cheek, ephemeral as it is, as you can't help but shed tears, can't help but grieve. Because if you don't, who will?
You know by now that some wounds can never heal, some rifts can never be mended. Even with the guarantee of cyclic, eternal rebirth, some things never return to how they were. And reminding yourself of this inevitability to them will never not hurt, even if you know it's futile to blame anyone but the one god who started this, and maybe the goddess who stood complacent to it. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth that it'll one day come to this, that the frost of death and the sharpness of pain will leave a mark the sands of time can't scar over.
You reach a trembling hand towards the one in your cheek, try to find catharsis in the remains of decayed, dead yet ever eternal, ever growing love. And you breathe.
'We'll meet again. So do not mourn for me, please.'
You don't think you could deny him if you tried. Not when you know he's trying to soothe you, to thaw your sorrow. To allow your heart's healing to fallow.
"We will, I know. I'm sorry for making you worry." You chuckle, leaning into the cold, trying to brand the memory of the shadowed, but not gone love given to you so you can return it in kind. Just until you meet again, just until you can give all you can to his not yet decomposing self, grasping onto what remains of him, "I love you."
'I love you too. Until we meet again.'
The cold is gone, the echo of love leaves. And you breathe, and pretend you don't feel empty.
(When you see Link again, reuniting with the Chain on the next day's twilight. You hug him as tight as you can, and hope you he doesn't notice the tears in your eyes. And that you don't feel the lingering traces of a frigid embrace.
When no one is looking, you wave goodbye to the shade. And pray he dreams of warmer days until he finds quietus.)
#linked universe x reader#hero's shade x reader#linked universe time x reader#first x reader#hylia's chosen hero x reader#first link x reader#also know as What Happens When Summer Watches Corpse Bride after Playing MJM#I'll never not be emotional about the Hero's Shade and how it's an inevitability that Time will always die relatively young#how First died alone in the surface and likely never got a proper burial#And the fact we never learn what happens to the heroes after the task is done and THE ONE INSTANCE#we do is to learn they died young in some manner (ex Time. The Link before Hyrule. First.#Probably Twilight if we go by the theory Wolfie in BOTW is a spirit sent to help Wild#Technically pre calamity Wild because losing your memories is technically death of identity although that's for another story#and related to Lost#Most of the more effective LoZ games present themselves as either dark fairy tales and I'm running with that concept#Plus it's literally LEGEND of Zelda. Hardly do things end well for protagonists in actual legends and mythology involving gods#I think I have a right to worry#Anyway I'll probably elaborate more later because I'm tired lol#gotta perish to tackle studying and THEN be free to start on the pages long LU/LoZ essays /jk#unless?#we'll see#summer writes linktober 2023#summer writes linktober shadow 2023#summer writes#this short fic was also brought to you by the death holiday we have here in my country because it always makes me sad#and thinking of the Hero's Shade and what happens to First basically made it Depression times 100 lol
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valentine's day celly / fluff fest 2024
valentine's day is quickly approaching, and I want to write about our book boyfriends (and girlfriends!) just being loved and like, not in mortal peril for once. they deserve peace!! I'll writing short, fluffy pieces (under 1k words) for Fourth Wing characters, but I want my dear readers to decide who!
here's a list of the prompts I've come up with ⬇ prompts with character names beside them have been taken!
being teased by their friends about their crush - Bodhi
holding hands for the first time - Sawyer
going into town for a date on a weekend off - Ridoc
love at first sight - Ridoc // also Garrick & scribe!reader
them giving you a bouquet of flowers - Sawyer
picnic date, with the dragons of course - Garrick
love letter (long-distance relationship) - Garrick and Angel
secret admirer - Liam
love confession - Imogen
them looking everywhere for something important you lost - Bodhi
sneaking out to see them after curfew - Dain
getting a handmade gift from them - Liam
anniversary celebration - Brennan and Duchess
studying together - Xaden
I'll be writing each prompt once. send a message, comment, reblog, etc., letting me know which character you'd like to see for which prompt! if requesting Garrick or Brennan, please specify if you'd like a generic reader, or Angel / Duchess!
character options:
Bodhi Durran
Brennan Sorrengail
Dain Aetos
Garrick Tavis
Imogen Cardulo
Liam Mairi
Mira Sorrengail
Rhiannon Matthias
Ridoc Gamlyn
Sawyer Henrick
Sloane Mairi
Violet Sorrengail
Xaden Riorson
default will be a she/her reader who is a rider, but if you'd like me to use different pronouns or have reader be a scribe, healer, etc. just specify in your message! I want everyone to feel included ❤
and because I can't say it too many times: thank you so so so much for reading my work. It makes me so happy to see people interacting with my work and loving it as much as I do. if I could print out your comments and frame them, I would. y'all mean the world to me. I love you so much. stay warm and drink lots of water!
#fourth wing x reader#fourth wing fanfic#if this flops it never happened by the way#jk I'll probably just match up the characters myself but like. PLEASE request. my inbox is open for anons :)#mine#the archives
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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)
#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired#second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me#cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels#third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night#so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends#at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there#so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant#this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears#and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved#you' and oh my god it ruined my morning#i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed#and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me#which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out#so thats probably why that hapepned#and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course#the day i least want to see her shes right there#i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling#i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee#the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3#also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol#sunny rambles
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hard work being a single Motha
#nina speaks#keep my boys on me at all times#like a GLOCK#sorry guys hard work raising two beautiful boys#and this hideous tumor in my head#slay!#god i love when the pinterest is updated tho#i lied no the fuck it’s not nina lmao#but that shit takes me hours so im taking a break#when im depressed i just sit in the jk and rs boards#and sigh deeply and twirl my hair#kings truly also mechanic stan wheeeew#love u rural colorado normie lumberjacked probably autistic KING#whoever asked me abt ikes friend group#hold on boss i gotta get my NOTES out#yes i am insane#also i do look kind of insane#but tfw so much happened to ur body#and face that u can…no longer look at urself in the mirror#i had a stannic attack and had to do my makeup out of the corner of my eye#but u know self care jump scare same difference yeah#i hate being ILL i want to answer october spooky time asks#here’s to hoping#here’s to coping#also the college moodboards don’t talk to me like THEYRE HAPPY???#JK WEARING COLORS?? FOR THE CHILDREN??? ;-;;#RAVENSTANS LIL READING GLASSES#tfw u clown ur sbf everyday and call him cuatros ojos and he realizes uve never been to an optometrist#and u keep squinting at things when u read them but not in a dyslexic way#in a those letters are blurry and idk what they are but that’s normal right everyone’s letters look like that HUH??? HUUUH NO BABY
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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i can confidently say margaery's first kiss was actually with a girl i cannot however say who (because i don't know)
#cersei went to all that trouble to find men and get them to falsely say they slept with margaery#when she could've looked for other girls and probably find some truth there#USHDISHFJSHD#jk i do think she is a maiden. even if not an entirely naive one#making out tho is something else#it's practice for her uh fourth husband. maybe. depending on who he is#after she gets divorced from tommen (we are willfully believing nothing bad will happen to him 🙏)#marg doesn't want anything to happen to him#he's just a baby#* out of character: { house tyrell apologist. }
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.
#hi anon#yes#busy with life atm#slightly tipsy at the moment even#😂#okay more than slightly#but that almost never happens#so it doesn’t count#all is well though#just busy with work and stuff#I’ll probably be back on for real tomorrow evening#i love tae and jk so much#i miss them#yeah.. definitely tipsy 😂#bye
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Just some more Still Wakes the Deep blah blah, but omg having just been diagnosed Diabetes type 1 myself recently, it makes me only love and feel for Roy 10X more...
This shit is litteraly poison, but so does the food we eat with how much sugar there is in ugh OTL
Never thought in a million year I had DT1, I had 0 symptoms and am in pretty good shape, but then suddenly, organs are starting to hurt really badly out of nowhere...
Don't wait too long poeple and check with your doctors even if there's ''nothing'' T0T and to all Diabetic ppl out there, keep on fighting 💪✨
#random#delete later#first 2 weeks of diagnosis i didn't realized what it meant to live with this#but the 3rd week it really sinked it and i couldn't stop crying everyday#i felt even more like a failure and it made me even more angry that my biological parents left me with that#being adopted i have no medical history and i was already living a quite healthy life style#ofc it could have been even better but now i have to do many extra steps#everything's back to normal now but holy shit that hit me like a truck#plus it was urgent since it had been MONTHS it was left untreated and my family doctor just never told me or bothered to check my blood tes#so ughh idk it sucks with life being already hard as it is#high blood pressure now this... tho theyre probably related#i prepared my bucket list sooo i guess LET'S GO?! jk jk#i'm scared to have a heart attack or stroke in the middle of nowhere where no one i love is around... and that'll be it#but i mean if it happens it happens i guess XD#i'm hopefull now but holy shit... fucking pancreas who just decides to stop working#when you read more about DT1 it just feels like a bad employee who suddenly doesn't want to work anymore#and the good boss cant do anything about it#oh well#as long as i can still create art i'll be fine and happy#diabetic? more like diabethicc
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