#jesus jumpscare

[shiftythrifting]

resale store in Northern Michigan

[creechcollective]

GOOBUS CHRIST

[zanda-rl]

I love how upon entering your blog, there's jesus like hi, I've been expecting u here 😭

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GODS NO WAY

WHEEZING

[sneefsnorf]

i desire him carnally

[wireframearson]

i had a dream last night that i was watching a pm seymour video and one of my posts got in and i was so excited, and for some reason i remember the post very vividly so here it is:

"So, I have a friend who works as a waitress in a very rich area. Let's call her J. The place she works at has a "ask for anything, get anything you ask for" policy. So that means like steaks grilled in mayo, a scoop of strawberry ice cream on top of your tomato soup, whatever weird food request you ask for (within reason) can be made. Because of this, the place is notorious for having a bunch of weird clients, and weird clients bring weird tips. J has been tipped $100 in $1 bills, full hardcover books, many copies of the bible, oddly frequently she gets tipped boxes of matches? but sometimes people will choose to buy the restaurant some ingredients. Does the place need them? No. Do they use them anyways? Yeah, it's just that little bit of extra money they can save, of course they're gonna use it. So one night the place was busier than it ever had been. They were severely understaffed due to a flu going around, and literally every single table was filled. Apparently there was some sort of health craze going around with olive oil salads? Like, imagine everything on a caesar salad but instead of caesar dressing it was just a load of extra-extra-virgin olive oil. Something about 'clearing out your insides'. So the restaurant was serving just a bunch of salads drenched in olive oil. Eventually the place ran out of the stuff, but people just kept coming in and ordering olive oil salads. And the more times J turned people away who ordered it, the more restless they got. J got called every word under the sun, got scoffed at, even had a bottle of wine thrown at her once (she caught it, thankfully). Eventually a client walked in, saw J on the verge of tears and stressed out of her mind, and gently took her hands in his own. He didn't say anything, only nodded his head and made a motion for J to follow him. She stepped outside to see an old, beat-up truck with several wooden crates in the back. She opened one to see it FULL of extra-extra-virgin olive oil. She fell to her knees and started to sob, and the client went inside and came back out with the rest of the waiters on duty. They all carried the oil inside and ended up going through all of it (roughly 100 bottles) in the next 12 hours. The client kept coming back day after day with more olive oil shipments until the craze began to die down and people stopped ordering the olive oil salad. The client walked in for the last time and waved at J. She motioned him over. 'I never got your name,' she said with a nervous. And she hadn't, cuz she had been so busy she never thought to ask for it. The client smiled at her and said 'You can call me Jesus'."

[jesus-holding-your-fave]

HELLO JEEZY HAVE YOU HELD GERARD WAY YET

Today, Jesus is holding:

Gerard Way

[opposumi]

YOU

[wishchip106]

he’s waiting for Charles to finish talking so they can go get ice cream

🧍‍♂️

[artfulacrostic]

[greenlaut]

crown of thorns (sons of god)

angels trilogy by @nicosraf

based on this headcanon of mine:

[byfulcrums]

I hate it when people make the DC characters feel scared of Phantom. Or when they make them freak out over how crazy his life is

Most of the characters would just go “Oh a Ghost King! That's cool” and either attack, befriend or ignore

They always write Dick to be the responsible one when he's not. If he saw this child he wouldn't go “Omg he's so young!!! Poor baby!!!” he'd go “Oh god no please don't let B see this one” and then “Hey this one's kind of fucked up. I'm going to keep it for a while to see what happens wish me luck🤞”

Or when they make the JL freak out about him. Guys, Flash is able to break reality, time travel, destroy the multiverse and more. If he finds out Danny is Dick's clone or something he'd go “again? How many clones are there?” and just vibe with it

Danny would be so happy to find people who just don't give a shit about how weird he is. He only has his friends and sister and they're just. Three people. This boy needs mental help and everyone freaking out about him isn't helping. He's just vibing with his new also overpowered friends

“Yeah so I'm half dead. I was killed by a ghost portal that opened right where I was, and instead of actually killing me it brought me back to life. I'm a ghost possessing its own body. Sometimes if I feel too weak I'll look the way I looked when I died — with my chest half open and my eyes bleeding. My blood is green. I will probably see everyone I love die. Wild, right?”

“Oh yeah! I've got my own experience with dying. It sucks, man. It's funny for the fastest man alive to not have been able to outrun death lmao. Speedsters also age really weirdly. I'm a married adult with two children but I look like I'm 18. But then later I look like I'm 30. And then 20. And then 40. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll look into the mirror and won't recognize who I see haha”

“Talking about body horror! I don't know if I'm the real me. I've created so many mes (the scout thingies) that I can't tell if I'm the original one or not. Maybe I died, and I'm the only thing that remains of me, and I would never be able to tell. I could be being tortured right at this moment. I could be trapped in the speedforce. And no one would ever know because I'm right here, but if I'm not me then they'd live with an imposter by their side”

“Ahh, body horror. My old friend”

(they're all on the verge of a panic attack)

Danny, glowing with a green light at 3am in the kitchen: Hey what the fuck are you doing here

Green Lantern, also glowing with a green light: I live here you fuck

Danny: Shit this isn't my house??

[ratatatastic]

cats: in bath robes

the nhl: well i guess we have to put provactive "lively" music over it

2024 nhl global series finland game 1 | 11.1.24 (x)

[ye-olde-tardis]

With how many references there are in this season about the doctor being a parent, we are definitely going to have some Susan content. I mean, when doctor who keeps shoving the same clues in your face over and over again, it's best to not overlook them.

[3584-tropical-fish]

Absolutely obsessed with whatever Vi has going on. Pipe bomb? “I’m buying a detonator.” Icon, character of all time, new fave

[humans-are-tasty]

[jeyneofpoole]

hey when the fuck did it become socially acceptable to just like. steal art. why do your grainy edits of my uncredited art to fucking taylor swift on tiktok get more interaction than my original post. why does nobody care. i feel like i’m literally going insane.