#jesus holding your fave
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an isopod!
Today, Jesus is holding:
An Isopod
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Uh, Fish, you might want to get out of there, that guy has been involved in a lot of fish being eaten.
hey guys does anyone know where I can find respite from the horrors
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Thank you @jesus-holding-your-fave for the Oily Josh pix <3
#no id#(might add one later)#daniel howell#dan howell#phanholdingthings#dan and phil#jesus (ig)#jesus-holding-your-fave#ftr the reason for the pride flag is that the danny pic is shorter than the jeezy pic and i didn't want him bisected n floating lol#mine
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wrecker girlies (gn) unite ✨
@sonicrainbooms @sunshinesdaydream @stars-n-spice @nerfpuncher @jesus-holding-your-fave (bc they’re a wrecker girlie apparently lmao)
#i mean obviously there are more wrecker enjoyers#but these people (other than jeezy to my knowledge) have interacted with the post#i wanted to put @/jesus-holding-your-fave on here bc like that’s just kinda funny#tbb#tbb wrecker#tbb meme#wrecker my beloved
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— sugar, sugar
[part ii] | [part iii] | [masterlist]
wolverine/logan howlett x neighbor!f!reader
rated e - 6.5k
tags: asshole friend!wade, (sorta soft) roommate!logan, baker!neighbor!reader, flirting, mutual yearning, immature humor, a reference to while you were sleeping, wingman!wade and the worse way to meet someone, light angst, oral sex, swallowing, fingering, v. light ass play, unprotected PiV, appearance of The Claws, what’s a refractory period, sorta audible voyeurism (brief/humorous)
a/n: includes spoilers for deadpool & wolverine (which omg I loved - what was your fave cameo?)
Your eccentric neighbor Wade may drive you a little up the wall… but, you’re willing to put up with him if it means he’ll introduce you to his new, grumpy-looking roommate.
“You gonna introduce me?”
You’ve cornered Wade in the apartment’s laundry room - the door to the front-loading washer hanging open as he holds a bundle of red fabric up to his chest.
“You think this will wash out?”
The suit in question looks like it had been run over by a truck and then set on fire, with the rips criss-crossed in the leather and the numerous charred holes scattered across the chest.
“Definitely.” Your eyes flicker down, and then back up, “So, will you?”
He bundles the suit up - flinging into the back of the washer, the laundry basket still tucked under an arm.
“Really? Not even ‘hello, Wade’? ‘Looking good, Wade’?” His voice pitches up, imitating yours, “Does our friendship really mean nothing to you?”
You wouldn’t necessarily call Wade Wilson a friend.
In fact, he’s honestly the worst neighbor you’ve ever had.
Loud, obnoxious. Persuasive - the first night you met you had been banging on his door at three in the morning, yelling at him to shut up as music and a caterwauling voice blared through the shared wall.
Ten minutes later you were playing the drums on his late night session of Rock Band, using a banana and a wooden spoon in place of sticks. Only for Althea to stomp out of her room and shut everything down, scaring both of you out of your skins.
But sometimes, you think - remembering the times he came through for you, a shoulder to cry on, helping him this slump he’s been digging himself out of - he might just be the best, as well.
And maybe that was friendship, after all.
You sigh, leaning against the row of washers. Eyes flicking over him, a small smile tugging at your lips.
“You do look good, Wade,” There’s a tilt of your head, the smile widening, “Glad you lost the toupee, that really wasn’t your color.”
“Ah, ah. Repurposed,” He chides, cupping his crotch, “You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve missed-”
“Ew, stop.” Your face scrunches, a hand covering your eyes as you shield your vision, “Will you please just answer my question?”
He throws a handful of shirts in the washer, “Which was...?”
Your head shakes - a hand on his arm as you reach for a glint of gold in the pile of clothes. Cringing as a handgun appears, held gingerly between thumb and forefinger as you set it on the side table.
“Good call,” He nods, “Dry clean only.”
You can't help a laugh then, even as your hands brace on your hips, “I want to meet your roommate.”
He frowns, “You’ve met Blind Al.”
“Jesus, Wade. Not Al." A hand waves, " I mean Mister Tall, Dark, and Brooding.”
You’ve seen the stranger in the hallways a few times in the month since he’s moved in. Scruffy and scowling the first time, a silent shadow behind Wade’s endless chatter.
But in the weeks following, that look had softened. You’d stopped by twice with cookies to welcome him, but every time you’ve just gotten Al.
Not that you dislike Al, that’s not it at all. She’s sweet enough to you when it’s not 3 a.m. or if Wade doesn’t have her annoyed half to death.
But you certainly weren’t harboring a crush on her. Maybe even secretly hoping that maybe the new neighbor will get a little lost and end up at your door, instead of his new place.
“Ooh,” The syllables draw out - detergent flung in, before he’s leaning against the washer too, facing you. “Yeah, Logan. He's great, got a mean ‘Hugh Jackman’ vibe, just without the singing. You’d like him.”
Something like hope flutters in your belly, but then he’s raising a finger - wiggling it at you, “Just one question though. What’s in it for me?”
That has you scowling, “What do you mean? You owe me. I covered for you when you had that barqueue in the stairwell.”
“God, that was great sausage.” Wade groans, thinking back, “Mmm, but I think Peter covered for me.”
“Who do you think got Peter?”
“Well, I don’t remember seeing you.” He shrugs.
“I was right-,” You pinch the bridge of your nose between thumb and forefinger, a sharp exhale of breath, “Fine. If you do this for me, I’ll do that thing you keep asking me to do.”
Wade gasps gleefully, “You mean you’ll make the triple decker-”
“-chocolate caramel cheesecake chimichangas. Yes.” You finish with him, arms crossing over your chest, “You’re lucky you heal fast because that should put you right into a food coma.”
“Right. Lucky me,” He smirks. A second as he thinks, before he snaps his fingers, “I’m having a little get-together tonight! You should come. Was gonna invite you anyway.”
The pounding in your head ratchets up at the thought that all this could’ve been avoided.
“Logan sleeps on the couch, though,” He adds, sagely, “So just letting you know that if the two of you decide to get your fuck on in my bed, according to the state of New York I am legally allowed to join you.”
“Thanks for the warning,” You grimace - even if you’re certain that cannot possibly be true, “But I do have my own apartment.”
“Oh, right.” There’s the faintest edge of disappointment in his tone, paired with a sigh.
You give him a sideways look, then.
“I saw Vanessa leaving yesterday. Things getting better?”
He sobers at that, eyes moving towards the sliver of a window. The glimpse of the street outside.
“Yeah.” Wade manages, “Yeah, I think so.”
There had once been a flicker of something. In-between your annoyance and exasperation, there were tendrils of tenderness. Long snuffed out, when you had seen just how banged up his heart was. How it’s always belonged to another.
You had gotten over it. Gotten to a place where seeing him now, like this, makes you smile.
“I’m really glad to hear that.”
He smiles, then.
“Thanks. Me too.”
“Hey, hold on.” Wade darts in front of his roommate, a leg kicked up high to block the doorway, “Where are you going? You can’t go out.”
Logan scowls, an arm already shoved into his leather jacket, “Sure I can.”
The blow against his shoulder might move a lesser man, but Wade’s fingers just grip the frame even tighter, “But I promised-, I got a friend that wants to meet you. There is some really important shit at stake here. I can’t let you go.”
An eyebrow cocks, “Can’t? I think we both know how that would go if you tried to stop me.”
It would be easy to get into this right here and now, but his suit is still in the dryer and he’s not about to spend another hour cleaning up blood.
“Wait, wait, wait,” He throws a hand up, “Aren’t you listening to me? A girl wants to meet you. She’s hot, she has a job, and she has an apartment. You’re only one outta three there. Can’t you see what a good opportunity this is? This is totally in your favor!”
Logan scoffs, his tongue tucking against his teeth. Hesitating for just a second, but it's enough that Wade knows he’s got him.
“I’ve met your friends,” He eventually acknowledges, “They’re good folk and all, but there isn’t anyone there I’d like to ‘get to know better’, yeah?”
“You haven’t met this one. She lives next door.”
The pause stretches longer this time. Dark eyes dart out into the hallway, and Wade can practically hear those rusted gears turning.
“Apartment 16 or 18?” Logan finally rasps, his arms crossing.
Oh, he’s definitely got him. Just call him Wade Wilson, New York’s own personal Cupid. New life goal - get his friends laid.
He nocks a mental arrow - aiming, and then firing with his answer.
“18.”
Another beat passes, and then a sigh.
“Alright.” The leather sleeve slips from his arm, drooping in his fist.
“Five minutes. That’s all I’m staying.”
Wade’s fist pumps.
Bullseye, motherfucker.
The apartment is packed and it’s been well past the allotted five minutes. Logan’s been nursing a beer for the last fifteen, eyes flicking over the people he’s grown to know well.
Offering a tight, half-smile when the big man claps him on the back, followed by Opposites Attract. Almost tempted to find that damn dog, just to have something to do.
Or maybe, just bail all-together.
Starting to think this was all an elaborate prank. Some fucked up aspect of this Earth, unknown to him until now.
He’s too old for this shit. If he heads for the bedroom now, he might make it out the fire escape before anyone notices.
Logan is still entertaining this new thread of thought until he hears his name - called out over whatever fuck-face bullshit boy-band music Wade’s been playing.
Ambiance, his ass.
The muscles of his crossed arms flex. Catching the way his roommate hauls a girl across the floor - the look of panic on her face as she tosses a container onto the nearest surface.
Wade hadn’t been lying, after all. It was Apartment 18 - that was about as much as he knew about you.
Other than the color of your eyes. The smell of your perfume in the hall. Your hair, your schedule - waking in the mornings to hear your door opening at 5 a.m., five days a week.
A baker. A damn good one, from the bits of cookie he’s snuck when no one was home.
Had never thought to introduce himself, because he’s been through all this before. Knows better than to reach out in the first place - still nursing the old wound of heartache, one that still flares to life in his chest.
Better not to hope, or even think, at all.
You stumble when he lets go, and Logan’s hands only curl tighter. Afraid to touch, now that you’re so close.
A pretty young thing compared to him. This was a fucking stupid idea, his eyes darting away as Wade claps, his hands spreading wide.
“Logan,” Wade’s tone is cordial, as if discussing the weather, “This is our neighbor, Sugar. She bakes a mean penis cake and likes emotionally unavailable men.”
A dejected sigh as he regards you, “Which is why it’s never worked out between us. I am just too available.”
Penis cake?
Logan shoots you a sideways look, an eyebrow cocked. Caught off guard by this unexpected intro, and it seems you are the same - gauging by the way your mouth drops open.
Your face swimming with regret, as you hiss, “Oh my god. Wade. It was one time. Why do you have to put it like that?”
Wade’s smile widens, his tone still innocent, “Just skipping over the ‘getting-to-know-you’s, so you can know if you’re compatible.”
Already pivoting to face Logan with a little wink, his own scowl already deepening. Something like nerves flickering to life - as he wonders if this will all be over before it ever begins.
“And this is Logan. He’s from another Earth, is two-hundred years old, and has a metal dong.”
Jesus Christ.
Logan’s teeth grit, before he snarls, “It’s not made of metal-”
Out of the corner of his eye, catches the curious dip of your gaze. Past the folded twist of his arms, the flannel, down to his thick belt buckle.
A knock rings out then, interrupting him from any further clarification.
“Ooh! Door,” Wade thumbs over his shoulder, “Go on now, we’ve got some good energy going here. Sugar and spice, I love it.”
A spin on his heel, and he’s leaving them alone. Silence a lingering companion for a long moment, before Logan turns.
“Nice to meet you.” He seethes, jaw working as he shoots daggers at Wade’s back. A hand extended - he’d manage that much at least.
Waiting for you to make an excuse and run, but all you do is fit your hand into his. Soft and strong and a near perfect fit.
Logan doesn’t touch people much anymore unless it’s a hand around a throat, or claws buried deep into a chest. Had almost forgotten what it was like, even if this meeting is close to his own personal version of hell.
“Nice to finally meet you, too.” Your smile is wry. Hands still clasped a moment longer, until he’s withdrawing.
Your hands shove into your back pockets. The tilt of a head as you regard him, and he lets his eyes meet yours.
They’re pretty, like the rest of you. Captivating even, if he could use such a word, and Wade’s words ring out in his head.
She wants to meet you.
He’s wondering if that’s still true. Maybe you’re wondering the same, with the way you look at him.
“So,” You begin, awkwardly - another unconscious flick of your eyes,“How does-”
“Uh-uh.” Logan’s head shakes. He’s picked up a couple things living with Wade. Never used to be a bargaining man, but he has to admit it has its uses.
“If you wanna know, you gotta go first.”
He hates you.
He must, with the way he’s scowling. Thighs spread wide as he sits on the couch you had gestured to, fingers in a vice grip around the bottle. No doubt plotting a dozen ways to ditch you the second he can.
Who wouldn’t, with a meeting like this? You could kill Wade, cheeks burning as you sink into the worn cushions next to him.
That is, until your knee knocks against his. The muscles in his thigh flexing - but Logan lets it rest, instead of pulling away.
“You gonna-?” His voice is gruff, a low rasp that makes goosebumps raise across your skin.
“Uh, sure.” Your fingers twist, “Which part did you want to hear about?”
His eyebrows lift. Those dark eyes beneath, almost a hint of amusement in them.
“Right,” The little laugh that bubbles from you is self-conscious, “Well, I don’t really like emotionally unavailable men, they just have a habit of finding me.”
His voice is low, “How would Wade know that?”
“Mm, how would he know about your-?” Your eyes flicker down for the third time, and he shifts.
“You first.”
“Alright.” You huff, but you’re smiling now. Some of your discomfort easing.
Logan is even more handsome than you had thought. You like the way his eyes dart away, only to come back and linger.
It’s starting to make you think that maybe it’s not dislike that has so much of him hidden away. Maybe it’s just been a long time since someone tried to peel any of him back.
Maybe he’s as nervous as you are.
“Well, he’s had to scare an ex or two away.” You shrug, “He only knows because I told him. And the cake, oh-, that was him, too.”
You turn then, to face him. A shoulder brushing the arm he has thrown across the back of the couch, a flicker in his eyes as you get comfortable beside him.
“Well, Wade had gotten ripped in half a couple years ago,” You nose wrinkles, a wave of your hand, “And it all like, has to grow back, right? It’s so creepy.”
Logan grimaces at your explanation, and you wonder if he understands. You think he must - you had thought he was like Wade, in some ways.
Different. Special.
“Well, he uh, finished growing everything in,” You make a sweeping gesture over your lower half, “And the next year to celebrate his dickiversary, he ordered a penis cake from my shop.”
“His… dickiversary.” Logan repeats slowly.
The heat is back in your cheeks, but you nod, “Yeah, because it like, it came back and all. And he paid in cash, I couldn’t say no.”
There’s the smallest twitch of Logan’s lips, and it feels like a victory.
“Right. What flavor was it?”
Your smile widens with relief, “Strawberries and cream. It was so good. I’ll have to make it for you sometime.”
A second before you cringe, adding, “I mean, a normal one. Not…”
He hums then, close to a laugh.
“Sure. You do that.”
You smile, letting your shoulder bump his, “And with that… I think it’s your turn.”
The bit of humor in his expression flattens. A searching look thrown your way, before he inhales a breath.
Setting it free.
“I’m a mutant.”
Logan waits there, as if expecting something. You only nod, thinking of the ones you know. Colossus, Ellie, Yukio, Domino. Wade.
“Wade said you were similar to him. I had assumed-” You encourage, waiting.
“Right,” He seems relieved, some of the tension ebbing, “My powers are regenerative, like his. But unlike him, I have these-”
There’s the jerk of his wrist, and three sharp metal claws sprout from between his knuckles. Your gasp is caught in your throat as you cling to his flannel shirt - the surprise bleeding into worry.
They glint in the light, as his fingers flex.
“Adamantium instead of bones. All of me is like this.”
The claws sheath themselves inside him again. His wounds smoothing over seconds later, as he scrubs his knuckles across his jeans, wiping away blood.
Offering out his hand, after. Letting your grip unwind from his shirt, and press against his skin instead. Feeling the tendons in his hand, his wrist. The skeleton beneath utterly unyielding, a weight to his limb that is so unlike your own.
“Metal…” You trail off, as pieces click into place, “I get it now. So does Wade really think there’s like, an actual bone-?”
Logan huffs again, “Guess so.”
You laugh then. A thought sobering you after, as a fingertip drifts up to the dip between his fingers.
“But doesn’t that hurt?”
It makes you wince to even think about it. Much less how casually they sprung from him, no different than breathing.
He shrugs, and it’s heartbreaking.
“Doesn’t even phase me anymore.”
“And, the two hundred years,” Another facet you put together out loud, “You’re still alive because you keep healing? Will it be that way forever?”
His hand flexes in your grip.
“Not forever. Apparently my powers will run out, at some point.” His eyes meet yours, “The Logan in this world is dead. Wade pulled me from another.”
Your brow furrows - always trying to keep up with the snippets that Wade has told you across the years - stories about time-traveling and mutants and even how he came to be. But this seems too deep. Surely Logan must be joking.
“Another world, huh?” You ask, head tilting - trying your best to roll with it, “Won’t they miss you in yours?”
Only now does his face falter. That sharp mask cracking, as his hand pulls from yours. Resting again on the back edge of the couch - his answer low and rough.
“No. I don’t think so.”
Another jolt racks through your heart. You don’t know him know him yet, but you already can’t believe that could possibly be true. Your fingers fan out, hovering - before it folds into a fist.
“Well then, I’m glad you’re here.”
He doesn’t reply.
The room is darker now, dim with the setting of the sun. Street lights outside pouring in a golden beam that cuts across his face.
His eyes are hazel, you can see that now. A fading rim of green spilling into the brown, beneath the near-permanent furrow of his eyebrows.
Yours caught in the glow of the flamingo string lights that curl out from the kitchen, stapled to the walls.
He breaks the silence, the words coming slowly.
“Let me ask you one more thing.”
“Sure. You know some of my worst secrets already.” You smile, a shoulder lifting.
His hand twitches, where it rests near your shoulder. The tip of a finger ghosting against skin.
Just the slightest brush but it feels like it radiates out, lingering after.
“Why’d you tell Wade you wanted to meet me?”
His voice is still low, rough. But it’s lost that sharp edge. The combination has your stomach tied up in knots, suddenly more nervous that you’ve been the whole night.
Surely he must know?
“Well…” You hedge. It’s your turn to look away, but then there’s the brush of his fingers again.
“Because I did want to meet you.” You admit, “You, you seemed like someone I wanted to get to know. In whatever capacity you’d like.”
“Is that right, Sugar?” Logan husks, and the nickname sounds even sweeter on his tongue, stealing your breath.
All you can do is nod, as his eyes darken.
Voices rise behind you, ripping you out of this little bubble you’ve found yourself in. Nearly forgetting just how many people are here, how many eyes have been glancing your way since you’ve arrived.
“Not strip poker Wade, please.” The rough rumbling plea of Colossus’s voice rings out above the others, “You never wear anything under the suit-”
You didn’t even realize when he had changed, but he had - patches of bare skin on his ass showing through the holes. Your nose scrunches, before you turn back to realize that Logan’s eyes are still on you.
Dropping when your tongue peeks out to wet your lips - your words coming out in a soft hush.
“You want to get out of here?”
You want him. You can only hope that he might just want you, too.
The corner of his lip twitches.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
It’s strange to have someone like Logan in your space. You can remember the last time you’ve wanted someone here.
His fingers still entwined with yours, from where you had reached back for him. Leading him through the dim corners of the room.
Thinking you had made it, only for the rousing cheers to rise when you had cracked the door open to slip through.
His grip tightening when you made to tug your hand free, in an urge to press it against burning cheeks. Letting you fumble with one hand, to open the lock next door.
It’s quieter here. A low echo of the music next door, as the darkness wraps around you again.
Here, his fingers move, but it’s only to skim up your wrist. To tug you between him and the front door, until your back presses against it.
His nose brushes yours as he steps into your space, your lips already parting. Holding himself there for a moment, inhaling the scent of you as his arm braces above your head.
Leaving you to be the one that closes the gap. The tilt of your head and the press of your lips against his.
A rough hum when your arms wrap around his neck, fingers buried in his hair. His hand gripping at your waist, pulling your hips against his.
Tugging and pushing. A messy path from the front door through the small living room - a mirror-image of the apartment next door.
Through to the bedroom, wandering hands and the brush of his tongue against yours as he deepens the needy kiss. Until his knees are hitting the edge of your bed, and he’s letting you nudge him back onto the mattress.
He brings you with him - your hips cradling his as you settle yourself astride him. Hands flatten against his chest as you rock down - drawing a rough, mumbled “fuck”.
Grinding yourself down where he’s hard, the curve of his cock straining against his jeans. Letting your hands follow, as his own cup your ass. Squeezing, before slipping to press the heel of his hand against the seam at your clit.
You moan into his mouth, as your fingers curl around him. Eyes blown wide when you pull back, scooting your hips down.
It’s here that he comes back to himself.
Going tense as you fit yourself between his thighs, fingers at this belt as the other still cups him.
“You shouldn’t want this.” He rasps, those eyes glinting in the dark, “A man like me. You know that, right?”
Propping himself up on an elbow, so he can see your expression. So you can see the way his jaw grits, nostrils flaring.
It’s a warning, wrapped up in silk. A last ditch effort to scare you away - knowing that once he has you, he won’t want to stop.
Your fingers slow - his zipper half-undone, baring skin and a dark shadow of hair beneath.
The other pulling away, “You want me to stop?”
He catches your wrist, jerking your hand back. His hips bucking into your palm, grinding himself into your touch.
“The last thing I want to fucking do is stop.” It’s almost a growl, “But on my Earth, I-”
You sigh then, impatient, “Logan, this Earth isn’t all that great either. I lost five years of my life to the blip.”
He frowns, not understanding - but your head shakes as you continue, “I’m tired of being too scared to take chances. I’ve been trying to live each day to the fullest, and I’d like to end this one with you.”
And out of everyone - Logan knows a little something about second chances.
“Yeah,” He manages - the grip of his fist leaves you, “Yeah, okay.”
"Thank you,” You answer primly, just as you finish yanking the zipper down.
His hand beats you in the race to ease himself out, fingers curling around the base. You can’t help it - you inhale a breath at the sight of him.
Heavy, with the way the flushed tip bobs in his grip. Thick enough that you’re already wondering if you’re going to be able to take him.
The huff he makes turns into a groan as you start small - engulfing the leaking head with your lips. The first inch turns into another as his hips lift, feeding his cock into your waiting mouth.
Only when he’s halfway inside you, bumping against your throat, does his hand drop. Letting you replace it with your own - squeezing, as drool slicks up his shaft. Your head bobbing in time with the twist of your fist.
That brief hesitance is quickly forgotten. Fingers brush at your cheek, curling around the base of your head as he guides you.
Leaving you eager for more. Another hissed groan when your mouth leaves him, your hand loosening as you strip your clothes away.
“Oh fuck yes,” He coaxes, when he realizes what you’re doing, “Let me see you, baby.”
Your shirt and pants left to pool on the floor. A second of boldness as you unclasp your bra next, leaving you in your panties as you focus on his cock again.
A bitten-back moan when your tongue slips across his swollen shaft - an low throb between your thighs as you rub them together, clenching around nothing. Resisting the urge to slip your hand beneath the hem to ease the ache.
Instead, your keep your hands on him. Goosebumps raising as your nails scratch against the deep v of muscle at his hips. The others working him into your mouth, as he slowly comes more undone.
His hips flex with each bob of your head, lips parted as he pants. The words a rough mumble, becoming almost desperate.
“That’s it sweetheart.”
Another moan when you take him deep, hollowing your cheeks as you suck, “Oh fuck, gonna fill that pretty mouth.”
His hand cups your jaw, holding you steady as he bucks into your mouth. Those dark eyes fixed on you in wonder, all that pretty skin bared for him to touch, to taste. He’s mesmerizing like this - the weight of gaze. Jaw slack with pleasure, eyes aflame.
You did this to him.
It sends something warm flooding through you, as his eyelashes flutter. The tipping back of his head, muscles ticking in his cheek as his teeth ground down.
A sound still slips between them, as he floods your mouth with the next flex of his hips. Pulsing between your lips as you swallow him down, a choked sound ripping from his chest when you cup his sack to gently squeeze out every last drop.
Logan melts into the mattress after, an arm thrown over his eyes as he catches his breath. His gaze focusing on you when he feels you squirm - dark, and hungry.
A lithe stretch of muscles as he moves - legs easing from beneath you.
“Hands and knees,” He commands, head tipping towards the bed next to him, as he rolls off. Kicking off his jeans as you listen, watching over a shoulder as the flannel and white tank underneath joins your clothes on the floor.
Your eyes widen at how toned he is - muscles rippling, the bed dipping as he fits himself behind you.
His broad hand at the small of your back, pushing your torso down against the mattress. A pleased hum then, fingers trailing just along the elastic edge of your underwear.
“Could smell how much she needed this.” The tips of two press against the damp fabric between your thighs, making you gasp, “Even next door. You want it that bad?”
It should be embarrassing that he could tell how much you desired him, but at the moment all you can think about is him touching you more.
“Yes,” You agree, “Please, Logan.”
“So fuckin’ polite,” The fingers withdraw; but only so his nose can replace them. A ragged inhale, just before his tongue drags against your clothed slit.
A groan against your skin as you cry out, before a finger hooks around the fabric, baring you for him to taste.
The heat of his tongue flattens against you - lapping at where you drip with need, a rough rumble in his chest.
“Sweet, too.” Another flick of his tongue, “Your name. ‘s fitting.”
You can’t manage words. Only his name, muffled against the sheets as your fists twist in them. Back arched as you resist the urge to grind yourself against his tongue, as it flicks against your clit.
It’s messy, how he eats you. You don’t think you’ve even had someone take you like this. Hungry, desperate even, as he devours you. The rumble of a groan against your cunt as his tongue delves inside you, stretching you open. Letting your slick smear into his beard, with how close he presses his mouth.
That need inside you thrumming. Winding tighter as he yanks your panties down your thighs. His palm flattening against your ass, holding you open as he licks you from clit to hole, then higher. Humming as you squeak, when his tongue flattens against your tight rim.
A thick finger nudging against you then, as his tongue dips back to your clit. There’s no resistance as it slips deeper, into slick walls that clamp down around him. It’s what you needed - that little bit more.
Unable to help rocking into the crook of his finger now. Whining when a second joins it, spearing deep and curling. Dragging against your walls, loud and wet and filthy with each plunge.
Your whimpers only grow louder. Needier, as his lips wrap around your clit. Fingers pounding deep, stretching you out. Leaving you babbling, your words slipping together.
“Don’t fucking stop.” Tears prick at your eyes, each breath a rattling gasp, “Oh my god you’re gonna make me come-”
He has you gushing, with the next flick of his tongue. A pleased groan as he feels your pussy tighten around his fingers, hearing the wail that is muffled into your pillows. That sharp pace slowing, his thumb replacing his tongue to draw your orgasm out until your legs are shaking.
His fingers sticky when they pull from you, only to slip between his lips - tongue curling around his knuckles, sucking them clean.
It leaves you floating above yourself. You can’t remember ever coming this hard, even by yourself. Only the tintest thread of disappointment as you drift, and it’s only that you won’t get the pleasure of his cock filling you tonight.
You would’ve liked to see what he can do with the rest of him.
Perhaps you can convince him to stay until morning.
But he moves behind you, instead. His knee pressing against yours, spreading your legs further. The rhythmic shuffle of skin against skin, as his hand slips from between his lips to fist around his cock.
“Tell me I can fuck you.” It’s not a plea, not with the harsh rasp of his voice. But it’s as close as you’ve heard, as he swipes the tip against your leaking pussy.
Smearing your slick on him, teasing at your waiting hole.
You don’t know how he’s hard again, but at the moment you really don’t care. Not sure if you’ve ever felt a need like this, your back arching further as you present yourself to him.
A twist of your neck, so your eyes can meet his.
“Fuck me, Logan.”
He groans, broad hands squeezing at your ass. Slipping up to sink his fingers into the flesh at your hips. Holding you steady as he lines himself up.
Your breath held, when you feel his cock start to breach you - muscles stringing tight.
“Relax, sweetheart,” He grits out, though not unkindly, “You can take it.”
Trying to hold himself back from filling you with a single thrust, with the way you’re already gripping him.
Easing himself into your heat. Two inches forward and then one back, and with each one you think you’ll feel the press of his thighs against yours. A low whine as your cunt makes room for him, that sharp stretch as it feels like he’s reaching into your belly.
Feeling full when he finally is flush, the weight of his sack kissing against your clit. His shoulders following the curve of your back, as a hand slips up to plant next to your head.
“Feels fucking incredible,” It’s mumbled against your skin, almost as if it hadn’t meant to say it.
“Mm,” You grin, your face tipping up to his, “Should’ve met you weeks ago.”
He smirks, a low sound in his throat as his mouth presses to yours. Starting a slow rhythm that drags his cock against your walls. Slipping until he’s halfway out, only to sheath himself again. Pushing the air from your lungs as he flattens himself, knees digging into the bed as your thigh spread wider - forcing him deeper.
It’s almost too much.
You hand shoots out, reaching. Wrapping around his wrist, nails biting against his skin.
It feels like he’s surrounding you. Each thrust a heavy weight that presses you into the bed. Splitting you open, until all you can do is squirm beneath him.
That pressure in your belly building again, as his hips pound. His breath, hot and panting in your ear as he chases his own end.
“Fuck, Logan.” You sob, “Harder-”
His tendons flex under your grip. Knuckles pressing flat against the sheets as he makes a rough sound in his throat.
Those claws unsheathing with his next thrust. Punching down into your mattress. Anchoring as he loses himself to the feel of you beneath him.
How tight and wet and warm you are, your arousal still sweet on his tongue. Fighting the urge to sink his teeth into your throat, as everything tightens up inside him.
“Sweetheart.” It’s a warning, rasped out.
“Come in me,” You whine, “Wanna feel you.”
He does growl then, at the thought of filling you to the brim, until he's leaking out of your pretty little pussy. Hips snapping faster, pinning you to the bed as he ruts into you. Each squeak of the bed paired with the sharp rip of fabric as his claws dig in.
Feeling how your body strings tight beneath him, how you clench down in anticipation. Wanting to feel you once more, before he gives in to his own desires.
“Come on, baby,” It’s hushed, murmured against your skin, “Fuckin’ give it to me-”
The sharp point of a canine scraping against your skin, his groan rough and throaty in your ear.
Your fingers work down to wedge themselves between your thighs. The tips brushing where you’re speared open, before circling your clit like his tongue had.
He has you mindless. Fucked out - that soft glow from your earlier orgasm shining bright as he tips you towards a second.
Burning at that tightly wound thread inside you, until the ends fray, and then snap.
It has you coming with his next thrust. A wail ripped from you as he buries himself deep, feeling the way your pussy clenches down around him.
Fingers still swirling, drawing out the deep pulses that fan out from your core as your toes curl, vision going hazy.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” He rasps, those sharp thrust slowing to a sloppy grind, “Make a fucking mess for me, there you go-”
Panting, as he groans. Another roll of his hips before he’s coming with you - teeth bruising skin as they sink into your shoulder. The sound he makes is broken as he spills into you, muscles clenching with each pulse that paints your walls.
Marking you thoroughly with teeth and come, the saw of his hips slowing until you both finally go still. A breath finally caught.
Blissed out, when he rolls you both to the side. His thighs still mapping yours, cock still notched deep. A thick arm thrown across your waist, his breath ragged in your ear as he catches his breath.
Your fingers drift, as you bask in your afterglow. Dipping into the rips in your mattress, knuckle deep.
There’s a grunt as you wiggle, the words low in your ear, “I’ll get you another, sweetheart. Just lost control for a moment.”
The thought doesn’t bother you as much as you’d think. In fact, you wouldn’t mind if happened again.
Only as your imagination runs wild, do you hear the muffled moan from the brick wall behind you.
“Fuck, that’s good.”
Dramatic and drawn out, paired with faint rhythmic noise.
A beat - before you hear mumbled protesting. The voice of someone talking with their mouth full, “No. Back the fuck off Peter, I’m not going to share.”
Eating. The fucker was eating his end of the bargain, ear pressed to the wall.
The next louder, “Alright, pay up everyone, Operation ‘Get Sugar Some Sugar’ was a success!”
You grimace, eyes rolling. Logan grunts behind you, the words mumbled out sleepily.
“Wish I could sew that goddamn mouth shut.”
There’s a faint “they already tried that!” before Logan’s fist bangs on the wall, shutting him up.
But you can’t help the smile. Your fingers fitting between the ones that rest just below your breasts, squeezing.
“He’s not so bad,” You admit, “Wade, I mean.”
Logan groans, “Don’t say his name while I’m fucking you.”
“You’re-” You start - but then you can feel him.
Still hard - as his hips cant slowly against yours. Your joined hands slip up to cup a breast - as his lips press against your neck, stubble scraping you skin.
“Again?” You breathe, disbelieving that he’d be up for a third time - your hips rocking back to meet his. The sound lewd with how he drips from you - but it only has him grinding himself deeper, “You sure you’re two hundred?”
“Regenerative powers, sweetheart.” Logan husks, the flash of teeth with a knowing smirk.
“Can’t say it doesn’t come with perks.”
I used to have the biggest fucking crush on wolverine, haha - so fun to watch a new movie with him!! ���💕 thank you so much for reading! And please me know if you'd like to read any more for him! (like more one-shots,etc!)
#phew this got away from me - i can't remember the last time I wrote this much in 2 days#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#wolverine smut#logan howlett#james logan howlett x reader#xmen x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x f!reader
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Today, Jesus is holding:
this post
literally its so fun being abnormal about christianity and also being christian because i just said "id kiss judas with tongue" in front of my pastor and she squinted at me and went "do you need to be removed from council or are you going to be normal?"
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Clyde/Pastra from the YouTube
Today, Jesus is holding:
Clyde (aka Pastra)
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just read sub!top sevika and it was delicious. now i am here to beg and plead for sub!top abby 😭 (btw i love your work. you’re my fave writer on tumblr!! <3)
sub!top abby?!?!?!? men, minors, ageless & blank blogs DNI (thank u anon I luv u bb)
abby’s mouth is pressed to yours as she grabs and rubs your thighs and ass. “come on sweet pea sit on my cock,” she moans, “please, yeah fuck -“ abby whines as she watches you sink down on her, your pussy swallowing her strap as you sit.
you whine as you take her full and rotate your hips experimentally, “feels so good abby,” you tease, your hands massaging her shoulders. abby takes a hand and places it on her cheek, kissing the inside of your wrist, and you leaning forward to suck on your nipples.
abby steadies one firm hands on your ass, massaging and smacking before she spreads you open and lifts you up, her other arm wrapping around your hips and pulls you down on her strap,
“please baby ride me shit- yeah like that-“ abby moans as you start to bounce on her, she revels in the way your tits jiggle, the way you’re moaning and whining, gripping hard onto her, clawing at any part you can find. “feel good honey? you like being impaled on my cock don’t you ?” abby whimpers the question and you’re not losing your mind riding her, barely hanging onto words as she lays down to spear up into you.
“jesus fuck, you look so good taking me like this,” abby moans, groaning in response to your long string of curses,
“yeah, take it jus’ like that, little fucking slut,” abby smacks your ass bringing you down to lay on top her as you ride her strap, hips taking control again. abby smacks and squeezes your ass, soothing the pain by rubbing her hands over your soft cheeks.’
“y-yeah, fuck,” you moan into abby’s ear - your lips going to kiss and suck at her neck and under her ear as you whine - “so fucking full, you’re so deep abby - can’t ride please -“ you sputter into her ear, hips faltering.
“want me to fuck you baby? huh just fucking rail you till you’re crying?” she asks as you nod, cooing as she turns you over while you cling to her. mewling as she starts to rut into you.
“gotta gimmie one baby, please - want you to cum for me,” abby whimpers, as she angles her hips and rolls them in a way that makes your eyes roll back. abby kisses your forehead, her gentleness contrasting the way her hips snap deep and hard, your back arching as you mumble her name over and over. the sound of it like music to abby’s fucking ears.
“I know, baby, I know that must feel good, my cock so deep inside you — fuck you’re taking me so well,” she moans, gently holding onto your knee and kissing your mouth, “ah fuck need to cum inside you, fucking get deep and have you warm my cock,” she groans.
abby’s biting your shoulder to muffle her needy grunts as you moan, “close,” you whimper and abby reaches down to rub at your wet swollen clit, strumming the sensitive little nub, “can see it on your face you’re gonna cum,” she whispers — “you’re so pretty baby,” she adores the way you look blush coming upon your cheeks as you cum, gripping and holding her tight.
😅🏷️ @lesbian-useless @sexysapphicshopowner @iamaboringrattat @lavendersgirl @bimboprincezz @emiliabby
#lesbian#lesbian smut#abby tlou smut#abby anderson smut#nsft lesbian#men dni#mdni#minors dni#18+ mdni#abby tlou#tlou smut#lesbian sex
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I'd Love To Watch
You’re forced to share a room with Noah and he wonders what book you’re reading.
This one is for all my dark romance reading babes, stay slay 🥀
My ao3 is HERE
Also let me know if you want to be tagged in anything upcoming posts, (I have so many WIPs)
CW: one bed trope (ugh my fave), mentions of dark romance, fingering, Noah is a MUNCH, squirting, forced proximity (let me know if I need to add any more)
18+ MDNI | Noah Sebastian x Reader
“Are you kidding me?” You groan, staring at the second suitcase in the bedroom that you called dibs on when you arrived at the Airbnb. “Matt, who put their shit in my room?” You call out to your best friend and tour manager who walks towards you, a smug smirk on his face.
”Well Noah kept saying he would take the couch but there’s a California King in there so I told him he should just bunk in with you tonight.” He leans against the doorframe, grinning. “Call it team building.”
”Team building?” You scoff, exasperated.
All you want is one night to yourself without being stuck in a bus full of sweaty guys and Matt thinks it's funny to let the man you’ve been trying to avoid all tour share your room.
Noah doesn’t like you, it’s been clear since day one. Every time he talks to you he’s so patronising and cocky it makes your blood boil but it’s not like you can say much. You’re just their merch girl after all, replaceable. If it wasn’t for Matt you wouldn’t even have the opportunity so you keep your mouth closed and stay out of Noah’s way unless it’s important.
“Does Noah know that we’re sharing?” You fold your arms over your chest, staring at your best friend.
Matt chuckles. “More than aware, he actually seemed fine with it.” Your eyebrow raises in surprise and he laughs. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You watch Matt retreat to his room and get to work pulling your pyjamas out from your suitcase, locking yourself in the bathroom to get ready for what you now know is going to be a hell of a long night.
While brushing your teeth you hear someone shuffle into the bedroom and you groan internally. Spitting the toothpaste into the sink, you gather your discarded clothes from the day and take a deep breath before opening the en-suite door.
Noah is lying spread eagle on the bed, wearing a pair of basketball shorts with no top, scrolling on his phone. He doesn’t even acknowledge your presence when you put your things back into your suitcase. You roll your eyes, grabbing your book to sit in the window seat across from the bed for a while, quietly reading to yourself. The silence is thick and you can hear his heavy breathing, distracting you from your book.
Your eyes flick from the dark romance novel to the man on the bed, eyes trailing over the expanses of ink that cover his toned skin and you feel heat pooling in your core.
”Anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?” His voice breaks you out of your trance and your eyes flick back to the words on the page.
You scoff. “I wasn’t staring, you just breathe really loud and it’s pissing me off.”
He chuckles darkly. “Yeah, sure thing sweetheart.”
The sound of movement reaches your ears but you daren’t look at him, lifting the book higher to hide your red face. Suddenly the novel is snatched from your hands and you scramble to grab it back from him.
”Heartless Heathens?” He hums, holding the book out of your reach as he reads the blurb then flicks through a couple of pages, eyes widening. “Jesus, Y/N. I didn’t realise you were into this kinky shit.”
Your face is tomato red, burning hot as you try to wrestle the book from his hands.
“Noah give me my book back!”
All he does is laugh, eyes flicking back and forth as he reads the page I had bookmarked. “Oh my god! ‘Does that tight pussy hurt when my fat cock stretches it out like this?’ Wow…”
His dark eyes meet yours and you squeeze them shut out of embarrassment, hiding your face with your hands.
”You like that shit, huh?” You can hear the amusement in his voice as steps forward, throwing the book down on the window seat. You want the ground to swallow you up when you feel him staring down at you.
You huff, removing your hands from your face. “Loads of people do, it’s just a book.”
“I mean, do you like that stuff? Guys talking to you like that in bed? Asking you if it hurts when they stretch you out on their cock?”
You laugh, he’s joking right? You look up at him and your mouth goes dry when you see his dark eyes, pupils blown wide with lust.
”I don’t know,” you shrug. “I haven’t been with anyone for a couple of years, I don’t really have the time.”
Noah looks taken aback at your words and his lips turn up into a smirk. “A pretty girl like you? Surely you have guys begging for a chance in every state we visit.”
You chortle, crossing your arms. “Unlike most guys, I don’t need sex.”
He scoffs, picking the book back up. “So you just read this casually?”
”Most of the time.”
”And the rest of the time?”
The hot flush returns to your cheeks, reaching the tips of your ears. “That’s none of your business.”
He starts to flick through the pages again, humming as he reads. “Can I take a guess?”
You roll your eyes. “Whatever, go ahead.” You throw yourself down onto the bed, sitting against the headboard as he paces, reading.
“I think you like this Corvin guy most, I can imagine you getting all hot and bothered when you read his parts and you can’t help but find yourself fingerfucking yourself in your bunk when everyone is asleep.” His head tilts when he stops to look at you, his eyes searching for the telltale signs of your arousal, grinning when he sees your thighs clench together. “Am I correct?”
You shake your head in disbelief. What’s his game and why is he trying to get under your skin over some book. Your underwear feels damp from the wetness that is pooling at your core from his words and you have to stop yourself from lunging at him, to either punch him or kiss him…you’re unsure which one would be more satisfying.
”C’mon Y/N, tell me.” He sits next to you, pointing at a section where the main character is riding Corvin. “Is this what you get off to?”
You feel all too hot and bothered with him sitting next to you with his shirt off, tattooed skin taunting you as he tries to coerce the secrets of your alone time out of you.
”If I wasn’t in here right now is that what you’d be doing? Getting off over your little dark romance book?”
”What’s your deal Noah? Why do you want to know about all this?” You sit up straighter and he lounges back, eyeing you humorously.
He shrugs. “It’s just cute that you read this horny stuff. I never took you as the type to get riled up by it, is all.”
”You’d be surprised.” You mumble and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
”You read worse?”
”Oh shut up, Noah. It’s just dumb fiction, why are we even still talking about this?”
He turns to his side, propping himself up on his elbow, eyes burning into the side of your head. “Because I can tell how hot and bothered you are right now and it’s kind of sexy, I must admit.”
You gulp at his words, staring straight ahead in a conscious effort not to look at him or all of your resolve might falter.
”So tell me, were you so pissed about having to share this room because you wanted some special alone time tonight with your little smut novel?”
You can feel his smirk and the tension in the room thickens, turning into a storm cloud of lust.
”You can still do it, you know.”
Your eyes finally dart to his smug face and your eyebrows furrow. “What?”
He shrugs casually. “You can still get yourself off, I could read to you if you want?”
Your swallow thickly, your core throbbing at his words. “No, that’s weird.”
Noah chuckles. “Masturbation isn’t we-“
”I fucking know that! What’s weird is you’re my boss and you’re offering to read to me while I make myself cum. Do you hear yourself?”
You can’t lie to yourself, the offer is almost too tempting. It’s not fair that the most attractive man you know is basically offering to help you get your rocks off but he hates you right? He’s always so moody and weird around you. Why is he being like this?
He sits up, scooting closer so your shoulders are touching and he leans close to your ear, his breath tickling the skin of your cheek. “Or I could tell you every wicked little fantasy I’ve had about you since you waltzed into the studio with Matt all those years back.’
Your eyebrows raise and you turn to him, his mouth just inches from yours. “You fantasise about me?”
He laughs, a smug sound that makes you want to punch him. “Oh yeah, my favourite is the one where I get to bend you over and rip apart those fishnets you love to wear, the ones with the lace flowers on.” His eyes darken as he reminisces over the lewd thoughts and your mind wanders.
How would it feel to have his hands all over you, tearing away those expensive tights that you adore? How would it feel to have him buried to the hilt inside you as he pushes your head into whatever surface he can find? Fuck its all too much.
”Noah, we shouldn’t talk about this stuff.” You try to reason with yourself but your resolve quickly disappears when his long inked finger trails up the bare skin of your thigh, stopping at the hem of your silky black pyjama shorts.
“Why? We’re both adults.” He smiles almost innocently.
”Because you don’t like me.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Since when? Didn’t I just tell you that I literally think about how I want to bend you over?”
You roll your eyes. “You literally talk to me like shit the majority of the time.”
”I like watching you squirm.” His smile is cocky and it only sends more electricity to your core because he’s right, he does make you squirm and you like it too.
A lust filled silence lingers in the air as he stares into your eyes, a smirk plastered on his lips.
”So do you still want to get yourself off, I’d love to watch.” He cocks an eyebrow and there it is, the last of your resolve leaving out the window.
”Fine.”
He’s like a kid in a candy shop when he sits up, watching you lie down on the bed. Your heart hammers in your chest as you close your eyes, trying to pretend he isn’t there. You slide the silk shorts down your legs, leaving the black lace thong on and your hand travels over the soft fabric, running over the damp patch that is only getting bigger.
You gasp when you slide your hand between the fabric, fingers slipping between your slick folds, easily finding the sensitive bundle of nerves that's been begging to be touched since you walked out of the bathroom to find Noah sprawled out shirtless on the bed. Oh how you wanted to just climb on top of him, to sink down on his cock like you owned him.
A quiet whimper escapes your lips when you circle your clit, slowly teasing yourself to the images of Noah’s cock buried deep inside your cunt. You feel him shift next to you to get a better look at your movements, how your fingers move under the dark lace of your panties. You hear him take a shaky breath and it sends shockwaves to your sensitive core.
“Does that feel good?” His voice is deep, coarse in your ear and you whine out a confirmation, moving your fingers faster over your clit. “God, you don’t know how good you sound. Do you like it when I talk to you?”
”Y-yes.” You sigh and he chuckles.
”Such a good girl.” He whispers, breath tickling your ear. “Do you want me to tell you what to do, huh? Do you want to be good for me and remove your underwear so I can see how you touch that pretty little pussy? God, I bet it’s so perfect.”
You whimper, using your spare hand to push the lace down your thighs, kicking them off as you toy with yourself. Noah leans forward, a hand landing on your thigh to pull your legs further apart and a feral groan leaves his throat when you spread yourself open for him to see just how wet you are, fingers covered in wet slick.
”Oh fuck, you look so good sweetheart. Show me how you bury those pretty fingers in there.”
You push two fingers into your core, the wet sound reaching your ears. You don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on in your life. You hear Noah’s breathing quicken as he watches you fuck yourself with your fingers, soft moans leaving your bitten lips.
”Doing so fucking well for me.” The praise feels like heaven when it meets your ears and you speed up, curling your fingers upwards. “Fuck, what I would do to bury my own fingers inside you.”
”Please.” You whine, opening your eyes to look at him, your breath coming out in pants when his lust blown eyes meet yours.
“Please what?” He smirks, tucking a piece of stray hair behind your ear as you find your clit again, rubbing your soaked fingers over the sensitive bud.
“I need your fingers inside me, please.” You’re so fucking needy and you can tell how much he gets off on it by how his smirk grows into a cruel grin and he holds his fingers against your plump lips.
”Are you gonna suck them for me? Get them nice and wet like the good little slut you are?” Your eyes roll back at his words and he gasps when your tongue swirls around the calloused pads of his fingers, soaking them with your saliva.
He pushes two long fingers into your warm mouth and you hollow your cheeks around them, staring up at him with innocent eyes that make his aching cock strain against his shorts. He pulls his fingers out with a pop and trails them down the valley of your clothed chest, down your navel to where your own fingers are still toying with your clit. Your eyes follow and your hand moves, giving him full access to where you need him most.
”You gonna watch me fuck you with my fingers huh?” He smiles sweetly, sliding his fingers up and down your drenched folds teasingly.
You nod, leaning up on your elbows to watch his slender fingers disappear between your folds, rubbing tight circles around your clit and you gasp his name, your mouth falling open at the immense pleasure. He chuckles, sliding them to your entrance to gather the wetness that pools there, moving back to your clit to play with it all too slowly.
”Please Noah.” You whine and he tuts.
”Be patient, I’ll get there. I want a better look.”
He moves to lie between your legs, pushing your legs further apart to get a good look at your glistening cunt. You can feel his breath hot against you and you could just cum right there without him even touching you, especially with how he looks up at you through those long lashes, eyes black and predatory like he wants to eat you whole.
“You’ve got such a perfect pussy, fuck.” He groans, pushes his long middle finger in, the dark ink disappearing inch by inch inside your cunt and you moan louder than expected, your hand flying to your mouth to keep yourself quiet. “Fuck, it feels so good, so soft.”
A second finger joins the first and he slowly curls them, finding that spot that leaves you seeing stars, your eyes rolling back, your head lolling back on your shoulders. His spare hand grips your inner thigh with a bruising hold and you're sure there will be bruises there tomorrow but you don’t mind, it feels like heaven.
”My mouth is so close to your pussy I can practically taste you.” He growls and your hips buck, pushing his fingers even deeper inside you. He chuckles darkly. “Do you want me to taste you?”
You sob, nodding enthusiastically.
”Use your words, pretty girl.” He hums, kissing your pelvic bone.
”Please taste me.”
He hums, his hot tongue dragging over your folds before his lips close around your clit, leaving you gobsmacked from how fucking good his tongue feels against you with his fingers fucking into you.
You’re close, you can feel that tightness building in your lower abdomen, so fucking close. His fingers curl faster, his tongue lapping over your clit like you’re the last water source on Earth and you’re falling. Your legs shake, a feral groan leaving your lips as your orgasm rips through your body like a fucking tornado. His fingers only move faster as his lips leave your sensitive clit and you're tipping over the edge again just as quickly, gushing around his fingers and the bed sheets below.
”Fuck, good girl!” He grins, lapping your sweet nectar from your thighs. “Think you’ve got another?”
You have no time to protest, he rises to slide between your thighs, fingers still buried deep inside your cunt as he stares down at you, curling them fast exactly where he knows he can drag another orgasm from you. His free hand covers your mouth when you cum again, screaming into his palm, soaking the front of his shorts where his leaking cock strains against them.
”Good fucking girl, well done!” He kisses your forehead, pulling his drenched hand away from your sensitive core to suck his fingers clean.
You stare at him in bewilderment when he smiles down at you. You’re in shock at how much you just came for a man you thought hated you half an hour ago.
”I think I need to catch you reading more.” He chuckles.
”Shut the fuck up.” You roll your eyes, pulling him into a searing kiss.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“So you two didn’t kill each other last night?” Matt smirks when you make your way downstairs in the morning, wearing one of Noah’s shirts with him freshly showered following behind you.
Folio storms past, looking a little worse for wear. “I would’ve preferred it if they did, I need to bleach my ears.” He groans, pouring himself a mug of coffee.
You blush bright red, throwing a grape at the drummer and Noah wraps his arms around your torso, pulling you into his lap.
”Guess my plan worked then.” Matt chuckles, popping a grape in his mouth with a grin.
#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian smut#bad omens band#bad omens#bad omens fic#bad omens cult#band fic#fanfiction
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Today, Jesus is holding:
This post
thanks for the tag @jaydove-writes
I think I am safe from pm
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Alright! I've got all the matchups in place. This is going to be spread out between this post and 3 other reblogs of it to get around the mention limit. Maybe I'll render these all nice and pretty one day. Maybe...
Matches will be between the blogs next to each other. For instance, @hellsitegenetics and @orca-detector will be matched up, then the winner will go against whoever wins from the @postanagramgenerator and @amongus-text-detector match and so on. You get the picture. Any odd-numbered blog will be against the one below it, and any even-numbered blog will be against the one above it.
Side 1, Part 1
@hellsitegenetics
@orca-detector
@postanagramgenerator
@amongus-text-detector
@jesus-holding-your-fave
@stereosexuals-daily
@cookieclickercookieeater
@same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day
@reallybadblackoutpoems
@word-problem-posting
@cantheywinthehungergames
@official-boob-posts
@ofishal-fish-posts
@mammalidentifier
@latinare
@duothelingo
@doyoulikethissong-poll
@thoughts-of-eel
@colourpickingpride
@soniclesbianflags
@cantheykillmacbeth
@sealsdaily
@one-time-i-dreamt
@the-magenta-painter
@the-haiku-bot
@identifying-spacecraft-in-posts
@littleguysdaily
@can-they-lift-thors-hammer
@official-linguistics-post
@libraryofbabel-postlocator
@i-say-ok
@i-make-things-into-faces
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My Significant other: If that egg hatches, it’s the second coming of Jesus. Chicken Jesus
Me: Chesus
SO: No that’s Cheese Jesus
Me: Jicken?
SO: No that’s Jean Chicken
…
Both of us: JEICKUS
@im-jesus @jesus-holding-your-fave
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yeah guys i don’t think @ohio-thestate has seen this yet
also have jesus holding ohio
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A non-comprehensive list of favorite songs that came out in 2024
Elbow, "Things I've Been Telling Myself For Years" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock Haven't been super thrilled by the past 2 or 3 Elbow albums but they're back in fine form with Audio Vertigo. Swinging for the bleachers, getting a little weird with it again, thank god. This one's got my favorite verses on the album: I'm the dashboard hula girl of nodding self-deception Here's to never accepting slight adjustment or correction... Of course I'll live to ninety-six and fix the welfare state I'll build a house with these two hands, my face above the gate I haven't paid for cabs or beers or met a cunt in twenty years Like all that outrun poverty, all I have was coming to me Things I've been telling myself for years
TWRP, "Content 4 U" [YOUTUBE] pop Highly danceable, highly relatable. First heard this on the Digital Nightmare tour this spring. After shaking my ass and giggling into the April night air, the lyrics sink in and I'm doing that dead eyed Lisa Simpson stare at the pavement because yeah that's. That's trying to live from any creative hustle in this bitch of a 21st century. Excellent work, boys, I hate it. I love it.
St. Vincent, "Big Time Nothing" [YOUTUBE] alt-pop What's the big deal this is just "Numb" over the bass line from "Army of Me" with a little Laurie Anderson and Talking Heads thrown in and wait hold up this rules
Oranssi Pazuzu, "Muuntautuja" [YOUTUBE] (link fixed!) prog/psych/black metal Goes hard and slow. A pulsating, hypnotic onslaught of black smoke and sandpaper. The whole album's incredible but this is probably my favorite track.
Kendrick Lamar, "Euphoria" [YOUTUBE] hip hop I mean, it's Kendrick Lamar. Dude's a fuckin Godzilla across the musical landscape. "Not Like Us" was the splashier hit of the summer, but this is the one that stayed with me. (Listening again while writing this and. Jesus, It's... it's 6 solid minutes of sticking your hand right on a hot burner.)
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, "Antarctica" [YOUTUBE] southern rock A fun (ironically) warm summer jam that fuckin blew the doors off live. Easily my fave from their most recent album.
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, "Wild God" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock/symphonic Really sneaks up on you, like a mumbly guy in the coffee shop. What's he writing? "Moving through your body like a prehistoric bird?" Huh, Looks intriguiOH HOLY SHIT HE HAS A CHORUS WITH HIM.
John Grant, "All That School for Nothing" [YOUTUBE] alt-pop/funk John Grant's got this particular nasty (complimentary) streak, a deep-seated gay cynicism that reminds me of Hidden Cameras at their best, but with more lush and varied instrumentals. His lyrics are always tops, and this one's no exception. The whole album, The Art of the Lie, is great, with "Marbles" being another delight.
Ninja Sex Party, "Let's Save The Earth" [YOUTUBE] comedy pop Feels silly to put this one in alongside the rest, but... I mean it's NSP. They do goofs, not a poetic dissection of the zeitgeist. I actually heard this one on tour in Fall 2022 and it brought the house down--I might actually prefer it live with audience participation TBH. This has become me and Brett's karaoke go-to.
A.G. Cook, "Soulbreaker" [YOUTUBE] electronic Deceptively simple chord progression becomes healing, memorable. The animated video for this is essential viewing, IMO. Wild art style and cool concept. This song makes me feel like things might turn out okay.
Elbow, "Balu" [YOUTUBE] alt-rock Probably my most played track of the entire year. Apparently this is a semi-fictional tribute to a beloved cousin or nephew? Once again back with the incredible lyrics. Probably my favorite line of the entire year: I'll never be home without you, but I'll never grow in your shadow. Anyway that bass/keyboard line is sending me to the center of the galaxy
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My top 10 favorite signs at Vienna Pride 2024
[ID: A woman holding a sign saying "Jesus' Playlist: Only Love songs. She is wearing a purple shirt saying "another Christian for LGBTQ* Equality ]
Cute! We love seeing supportive religious folks in this house!! 7/10 🌈
[ID: A blue flag saying "Fundis zur Hölle jagen", flying in front of the Austrian Opera]
Short, sweet, good punch, keeping Pride a demonstration. 7.5/10 🌈
[ID: A woman holding a cardboard sign saying "I got 99 Problems and white hetero normative Patriarchy is all of them"]
fun reference, gets points for being political 7,5/10 🌈
[ID: A yellow shipping container, on it is a sign saying "Intersex Solidarity", next to two ads for an photography exhibition. The Exhibition is called "Inside views", the ad is showing a human body dressed in a ripcage]
It is just so funny to me I can't even really tell why. But it just feels appropriate, next to the ad and also the color of the container is very fitting. 8/10 🌈
[ID: A group of russian-speaking people demonstrating at Vienna Pride. One sign says "Proud and Loud for the Opressed in Russia, another shows Vladimir Putin in front of rainbows and writing saying "Vladimir, it's Time"]
Honestly my heart goes out to all queer people living in countries where they are still treated horribly, much worse than Austria. Love ❤️ 8/10 🌈
[ID: Where usually the movie titles being show are displayed, the Burg Kino shows a message saying "Pride without Prejudice. Hello Viella Pride 2024.]
Just a fun and sweet way to show support in a way that does not reek too much of rainbow capitalism. nice! 8.5/10 🌈
[ID: A sign saying "A day w/o Lesbians is like a day w/o sunshine"]
Cute!!!! As a lesbian, I approve ☀️ 9/10 🌈
[ID: two men holding signs saying "Hurra! Die Hurn sind da!", "In Vielfalt vereint, in tratsch entzweit" and "support your local cum dump"]
charming. fun. would get your grandma to gasp, probably. 9/10 🌈
[ID: The Group "Volksoper Wien" holding signs saying "Mama, Papa, ich muss euch was sagen: Ich liebe Operette", "Volksoper Wien: Queer seit 1898" and "125 Jahre Volksoper: man ist nie zu alt, um sich zu outen!"]
Extremely funny. Love it. Love that such a old, prestigious institution is at pride. 10/10 🌈
[ID: A sign saying "Heten Wahnsinn stoppen"]
Short, sweet, extremely funny, great reference, i love it 1000/10 🌈
Bonus:
Ace Santa :)
#Austria#Vienna#Pride#Pride Month#Vienna Pride#Vienna Pride 2024#Regenbogenparade#Pride is a demonstration#Hosi Wien#Wien#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#Pride Parade#Pride in Austria
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𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓.
CAPS: oneshots!! // ✮: personal faves!!
𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬
ellie on valentine’s day
vampire!ellie
modern!ellie’s job
ellie masturbating
farm!ellie i
farm!ellie ii
ellie helping you unwind
ellie drawing you
tying up loser!ellie
nerd!ellie ✮
SYMPATHY IS A KNIFE —rockstar!ellie x dom!r
╰┈➤ gas station!ellie masterlist!! ✮
𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧
sleepy!abby ✮
abby x gymrat!reader
rockstar!abby
girlfriend!abby
abby on valentine’s day
professor!abby
abby and her scars ✮
loser!abby ✮
more loser!abby ✮
ab riding w/ cowboy!abby ✮
what abby’s breath feels like
playful makeout with silly!abby
CATALINA ISLAND —catalina!abby x nurse!r ✮
╰┈➤ mean!abby masterlist!!
𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚
riding her nose ✮
fucking you on shimmer
helping sev fix her arm (sevika week)
passionate sex w bottom sevika (sevika week)
sev x hyperfemme!r
sevika slipping into subspace
decorating sevika’s arm with lights ft. jinx
holding her mech hand
sevika and intimacy
loser!sevika headcanons
modern loser!sevika e-dating reader
sevika taking care of you when you’re sad
small non-confrontational loser!sevika thought
playing roblox with sevika
loser!sevika eating you out
SACRIFICIAL ANGEL —bottom dom!sev x loser!r ✮
YOUR OWN PERSONAL JESUS —sev x religious!r
will be updated as i post!!! :3
view my favorite art/fics!!
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