#jesue christ

[banishedchildofeve]

[wolfythewitch]

jesus in the hades art style

[undercovercannibal]

I think kids should be taught the joys of wearing headphones on public transport very early in their lives

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[lastoneout]

"sugar is poison" sugar is your body's preferred fuel choice and if you stop eating it entirely you will die

[romanceyourdemons]

i love characters who are always like fear not, i shall take care of this problem for you….. by sacrificing myself!! and everyone else is like i swear to god if you pull this shit again i’ll kill you

[valley-foods]

I was looking for a steam trash game that realseased recently and joke about how a piece of garbage had higher priority but I may have found the greatest videogame know to humankind

[justatallstick]

i’m literally going to end it all

[possamble]

oh they super understood the assignment this time holy shit

[spectra-bear]

Sometimes something simple could be really special, after all.

[wolfythewitch]

jesus holding a lamb based on that painting of jesus holding a lamb

[beautysnake]

@linkerbell and I decided to start a new save for co-op and it's already off to a great start

[animentality]

[trashpidgeon48]

Leitmotifs drive me insane, like I hear *repeated melody that has an association with a person, idea, or situation* and I go *tears up the fucking rug like a dog*