#jeffery goldberg

[jimstares]

In case anyone wonders about my complete and utter disdain and contempt for Donald Trump, this might help.

[jhsharman]

Odd Girl Out

"Threesome" changes to "trio", which is frankly a better match even besides. But this poses that recurring question of when a word accrues the connotation and meaning in such overwhelming fashion as to see it is to have it stick out enough to change it. Here, it is sometime after 1998.

Deciding not to get cute on "show biz" and decide "madhouse" is one word.

[epickiya722]

You know what, I expected that they would have Chloe not mention Chad at all. We already know they do not care about continuity.

But I'm going to tell you my problem with not having Chloe mentioning Chad.

Just throwing it out there, it's not that the fandom really cares about Chad like that. I don't really care about Chad like that. (They could have done better with his writing. As for a lot of other characters.)

It's not that the fandom is like "oh, how dare they take away our favorite white boy". It's not that. No, scratch that. It's part of this following reason.

It's that the OG VKs and AKs were done dirty before and it continues. Oh, but it's not just that. See, them leaving most of them out is an "excuse" for something else that I'll talk about later.

Just follow with me here.

Not too long ago they released the Red version of Uma's song, What's My Name. In the song there is this part...

This is Red's part, just so we're clear. They had her make remarks that the VKs are "middle-aged". Mind you while on a song belonging to UMA. The VKs would just be reaching their 20s at this time. Just their 20s!! If you're including Celia, Dizzy and the Smee Twins as VKs (because technically they are) they would probably still be in school.

What's makes this part worse is the "cradle to the grave" lyrics. The songwriters obviously were not thinking when they put that in. They didn't register what fans might they think when hearing those lyrics. Do I have to say it? Like, really think about it.

With this part of the song and no mention of Chad in Chloe's video, it's them saying "well, it's not like the AKs and rest of the VKs are important anyways!"

That's the problem right there. And that's a problem that leads into a bigger problem.

Let's think about the Sea Three. It's like they're already trying to replace them with Uliana, Hook and Morgie.

"But Uma is there!" They knew damn well that Uma would bring in more fans to watch that movie. Uma is a beloved character, why wouldn't they include her? It's the same reason Brandy and Paolo are back playing as Cinderella and Charming.

See, Disney will market off Black and other people of color. They'll be like "oh, we can give this character this, but not this". They can have some good traits, but they still have to get some bad. (Example, Tiana could be a princess!! But she had to spend most of her movie as a damn frog!)

Let me start with Uliana.

What sucks about Uliana and her crew to me is that it seems this time they really want fans to hate on a Black girl... again.

See, I bet in 2017 they didn't anticipate on fans adoring Uma and actually sympathizing with her. And it helps that China is a damn good actress and singer.

They made Uma the "big bad" in the second movie, continuing the "let's make the Black girls and women antagonistic" (Audrey, being played by Sarah Jeffery who is half Black, being mean to Mal and Cruella being played by a Black woman, Wendy Raquel Robinson).

Again, though, that shit didn't work so they're trying it again.

Don't believe me?

Here's the thing. If they wanted Bridget to have this sad backstory who was bullied... why did they make it a Black girl? And why is this character just so happen to be Uma's aunt and Ursula's sister? They couldn't have made another villain character be her bully? To be the reason as to why Bridget aka Queen of Hearts hates Cinderella? In fact, how about Maleficent? She's right there!!

From the looks of the trailer, it may be Uliana did something that made Bridget hate Cinderella. So they couldn't have Maleficent be manipulative and do that then? Why come up with a whole original character related to one of the most other notorious Disney villains (who is Black in the Descendants universe, by the way, Whoopi Goldberg) for just that? Hm?

No, Disney said "let's make trick the fans, make them think that Dara will be playing a sweet, innocent princess and then reveal she'll be playing this bully who we made up".

See, they couldn't use Morgana from the second Little Mermaid movie because one, there's her name. We have Morgie in the movie and his mother's name is Morgana. Two, when the first Descendants movie came out, Disney made it a point to make it seem that the first films of the animated films were canon. Meaning that, yeah, sequels were ignored.

In the case of Chloe and Chad!

As I mentioned before, it comes off that the AKs and VKs are being brushed aside. And yes, it's a problem.

The problem isn't having a new generation. I personally am not upset seeing these new characters, let alone new actors. I hate how they (not the actors, not them) went about this.

They could have easily announced Malia Baker playing Chloe from the start. But no, they didn't do that. On top of that, no mention of Chad??

Disney didn't have Chloe mention Chad because they want to play off him being an OG AK and white and have the fandom feel some kind of way towards Chloe who is of color. They want people to be antagonistic towards and annoyed at Chloe. See, they let this Black girl be a princess... but they'll probably have her be annoying in the movie, some perfectionist, oh and no mention of her supposed brother.

When you think about it... while Uilanna is the Uma here, Chloe is the Audrey.

Hm, a girly princess who wears blue, who is the daughter of a beloved Disney princess whose race was changed for the Descendants, played by an actress who looks racially ambiguous but happens to be Black, who has some connection to Chad (or lack of), who also comes off as some perfectionist, an often annoying character trait.

Now, don't that seem like Chloe is the Audrey here? Just this time, our princess is nicer.

Like with Uma, Audrey was meant to be disliked, but come the third movie fans grew to like and sympathize her.

This time around with Chloe, it's like Disney is trying to be sneakier about getting the fans to hate her.

Again, it's the "they can have this but they can't have this" with their Black and other characters of color.

"It's not about race." Disney made it about race. If it wasn't, they wouldn't have done previous antics with the other characters. If wasn't, Disney would have easily kept Cinderella and her family white from the animated films, if they still wanted fans to dislike her, just as they could have with Aurora and her family, but they didn't. They made fans believe Dara was going to play a princess and just knew fans would be like "Brandy could be Cinderella" because of that, and once they had Brandy be Cinderella? Well, you see what happened.

Simply, just my opinion, Disney has the intentions to make Chloe hated or at least less popular. They're just not trying make it not racist, but still still are racist about.

Now, I'm not saying the movie is going to be oh so terrible. The thing is, a fourth movie could have been a more excitable thing for fans if Disney stopped doing most of these characters dirty with their racism and favoritism.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

Oh hello again everyone! Apologies to the three people who are probably interested in this syllabus journey for falling off the face of the earth for the last few months. Had a lot of life changes and travel going on and have not been falling desperately behind in all of the things I have been watching. Now that I am back home for more than two days at a time, I figured I should get back into the swing of things with @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus.. With this post I am officially wrapping up Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley and will get to reap my reward with Lesbians and Gems for Units 5 and 6. As a reminder the films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the Side (1995)

Today I will be talking about:

Boys on the Side (1995) dir. Herbert Ross

[Run Time: 1:55, I watched it through Plex, Language: English]

Summary: Robin shares a ride in her car with Jane from New York to Los Angeles. They stop at Jane's friend Holly's place in Pittsburgh and take her with them west, making a long stop in Tucson. The three very different women become close friends.

Cast:  - Whoopi Goldberg as Jane - Mary-Louise Parker as Robin - Drew Barrymore as Holly

___

OKAY. Shout out to me for getting through the final film in Heartbreak Alley without crying! 

A trend I have noticed throughout the sad films in this section is that the vast majority of them hold the sadness until the end, which is super fair, but also something I would consider to be rather kind. Maybe it’s just me, but seeing Mysterious Skin so early on in this syllabus really altered my perception of what a difficult movie looked and felt like. The movie that compromised me the most in this unit was far and away Strange Fruit, which sits in the Mysterious Skin camp of being great and also something I will struggle to ever watch again. By comparison, a lot of the Heartbreak Alley films were fine. 

I liked how much Boys on the Side was about the bonds between women and the importance of found family. I love a movie where the premise is: girls do crime and then hit the road together. I like how expertly this film was able to pull back the layers on Robin, until you hit the reveal of her HIV diagnosis. When we first meet her, she’s just a kind of put together, somewhat annoying and anal white woman that wants to hit the road for god knows what reason, and you (and Jane) roll your eyes a little at how often she is sanitizing things. 

And then she vomits, and you can kind of just dismiss it as the allergies she says it is. 

And then Jane leaves the car to go see Holly and Robin uses that moment alone to take some medication, and things start to unravel. She goes to bed really early, she looks haggard the longer they are endurance testing their driving on the road. Something is definitely wrong with her, and BOOM, she’s collapsed and is hospitalized, and you find out she’s HIV positive. 

I liked how distinct all three of the main characters felt, and I liked their friendship with one another. The full blown, silent conversations that can pass between them. I like the little moments in a slice of life, the birthday parties, the dancing, Jane making Robin shout “Cunt” because she feels uncomfortable referring to her vagina. I liked that having HIV was just a detail in her life, and that the movie itself didn’t feel like An AIDS Movie. 

Even though Robin is surrounded by red the whole time, something which I usually associate with AIDS itself because of blood and red ribbons. Robin’s car is red, the lighting in her first hospital room is read, the list of plumbers and landlords she leaves on the fridge at her old apartment in New York is red, they settle in Tuscon, they live in a house made of red clay. But she is never the one that is painted in it. She never wears red, she is not the one painted by it. Jane is the one that bleeds in this film, Jane is the one washed in the red lights of the hospital. But the bigger instances of red: the car, the house contains an entire life inside it. A friendship. Happiness, sadness, anger, joy. You barely even notice that it’s there. 

When Robin’s initial case of pneumonia was resolved, the doctor wasn’t worried about it, and even though Robin did pass by the end of the film, the movie itself wasn’t about her dying of AIDS. It was about the friendship between Jane, Robin, and Holly. At least that’s how it felt for me. 

Definitely my favorite part of this film was that Robin was allowed to be absolutely pissed and to kick Jane out of the house when Jane revealed her status to the man Robin liked. Jane was just trying to be helpful, and the man himself was very chill and totally fine with her status. But Jane didn’t have a right to disclose that information. 

I want to know more about the writers of this film, because I liked that the person in the movie who had AIDS was not the former drug user, or the queer person, but the heterosexual, cisgender, white real estate agent. That it seems to have been a little bit of time since she got her diagnosis, and she’s got a handle on how she is dealing with her grief. She doesn’t pity herself, once Jane and Holly know about it, she’s very casual with her references to the blood tests she needs, etc. 

Even if AIDS is a death sentence still in a movie like this one, I still think the film itself is kind about how they portray it. Robin can still be there for the people she cares about. She can get a very violent situation under control, she can fly across the country and testify to try to help Holly, she brings Jane happiness, music, fun. She doesn’t want a funeral, she wants a big party in the house they shared. She makes it long enough to tell Jane she was loved, to go home and meet Holly’s baby. 

We don’t have to watch her die, and even though the last scene of the film itself is an empty house, the understanding that Robin is dead, we don’t have to see her mother, who already lost her husband and her son, mourn her, we don’t have to watch her die. And we are immediately handed the end credit title cards that are just a compilation of the happy moments between Jane, Holly, and Robin. They don’t make you sit in the emotions there for very long. You get the sad scene of Robin seeing the visage of her dead brother, telling Jane what she wants to happen after she’s passed. And then it is immediately followed with a birth, with happiness and humor. You get the happiness of the baby shower when Holly gets out of prison and then the sadness of a shared song and an empty house, and Jane painting her nails in the car as she continues on her journey. And then you get Robin’s face, smiling away, laughter, chaos, joy at all these little moments in the film. 

A good movie to end this section on, both as a wind down piece and as an appetizer for Unit 5: Lesbians. 

Favorite Moment

I think my favorite moment of the film was when Jane and Robin meet Abe for the first time. Mostly because it is absolutely fucking hilarious to watch the paragraphs of silent, judgemental conversation they are having with each other while simultaneously trying to process that Holly who accidentally murdered a guy is dating a cop. It was truly such an expert portrayal of the psychic connections you forge between close friends. 

Favorite Quote 

“Everyone go potty, we don’t want to have to stop,”

I know what you are thinking. “Wen, why the fuck is that your favorite quote of the film?” It’s because of the context. Picture this, you have entered an apartment that is not your own after seeing through the window that the person who responded to your newspaper ad looking for a road trip buddy is in a fight with a random guy. The apartment you enter is a mess and your road trip buddy and her friend are bleeding at the hands of an abusive, drug dealing, asshole. You have managed to get the situation under control once already through sheer force of reasonable suggestion, only to have it ruined when this woman you do not know hits the abusive fucker over the head with a baseball bat. 

THEN because you don’t want to murder him, but you also don’t want him to catch up to you, you and these two women you barely know, tie this man to a chair with rope and duct tape. You have thought through the timing of how long it will take him to break through the binds and have thought about the noise and found a music disc that will last long enough to give you one hell of a head start. You are standing next to this guy who just beat up two people you barely know, who you have hog tied, and who is bleeding from his temple, and in the flattest, most mother telling her child to do a simple task way, you suggest that everyone uses the potty before they essentially enter a getaway car and escape from the scene of this assault. It was just so fucking funny to me. 

Score 

8/10 

I enjoyed the movie, but I think I wanted a little bit more attention and depth on Jane and less on Holly. I think there were a few too many threads going on, and that some of the set up was unnecessary. But I had a good time. 

And that’s it! I have finished Unit 4, I have so many more films to watch, but I inch ever closer to getting to rewatch Big Eden so onward I charge!

[darkeagleruins]

13 days and dozens of fake stories will be coming out in an attempt to take out President Trump. Brace for impact. A fake intelligence ‘audio recording’ is circulating in the leviathan.

They are desperate.

The intelligence communities and dozens of corrupt alphabet deep state operatives, i.e., DOJ, etc., etc., are all working on their own fake stories.

Jeffery Goldberg from the Atlantic is king bullshitter and the asshole behind this vile story and was also behind the ‘suckers and losers’ lie.

[darkmaga-returns]

I want to briefly draw attention to two articles at The Federalist today. What they both attempt is to draw attention to the bigger agenda behind the desperate Trump as Hitler hoax that has come out in the open during the past week. The articles point to the motives behind this cynical ploy:

The Atlantic Hit Piece On Trump Is A Psy-Op To Justify Post-Election Violence If Harris Loses

The hit piece in The Atlantic is part of a psy-op designed to provoke a third assassination attempt and justify mass post-election violence.

In light of the two assassination attempts on Trump that have followed on the unhinged rhetoric from the Establishment, I believe that it’s actually fair to assert that a third assassination attempt is hoped for. The Establishment attempt to deny any connection between the rhetoric and the acts and insistence on a continuation of the rhetoric amounts to a backhanded admission of that. However, the author, John Daniel Davidson, goes further:

The outlandish hit piece on Donald Trump published this week by Jeffery Goldberg at The Atlantic, which was immediately denied on the record by all the people who were in the room with Trump, isn’t just a shoddy smear that would never have passed muster in a newsroom 20 years ago.

It’s more than that. It’s part of a larger psy-op to justify mass post-election violence if Trump wins in November, to signal activists to reject the results of the election, to divide the military, and to coax an insurgency out of the radical left-wing base of the Democratic Party and unleash it on American cities.

Looking back to the violence in the Imperial City on the Potomac at the time of Trump’s inauguration as well as the violence leading up to the 2020 election—all tolerated by the Establishment—it’s difficult to argue against this scenario. Looking back, too, to the months long military occupation of the Imperial City after the 2020 election—as well as the wokeness of the military—one is also tempted to see this statement by Kama Sutra as a Freudian type statement of intent by the Establishment itself:

“He does not want a military that is loyal to the United States Constitution, he wants a military that is loyal to him,” she said. “He wants a military that is loyal to him personally. One that will obey his orders even when he tells them to break the law or abandon their oath to the Constitution of the United States.”

Why am I bothering with this? Davidson focuses on what could happen if Trump wins, but I think it’s worth considering what could happen if the Establishment manages to once again install its preferred regime. The Left has pretty much cast aside any pretense of loyalty to the Constitution as written. I can see drastic steps being taken that could require military force. Never say never. And, of course, with economic disarray threatening …

[prcg]

Harris está sentando las bases para la violencia si Trump gana

El extravagante artículo sobre Donald Trump publicado esta semana por Jeffery Goldberg en The Atlantic, que fue inmediatamente desmentido oficialmente por todas las personas que estaban en la sala con Trump, no es sólo una difamación de mala calidad que nunca habría sido aprobada en una sala de redacción hace 20 años. Es más que eso. Es parte de una operación psicológica más amplia para…

[bllsbailey]

Vanessa Guillén’s Sister Condemns The Atlantic for Claiming Trump Disparaged Soldier: ‘He Showed Nothing but Respect’

Candles and flowers decorate a makeshift memorial for US Army Specialist Vanessa Guillen at Power House Gym on August 14, 2020, in Houston, Texas.

The sister and family attorney of Vanessa Guillén, a U.S. soldier who was murdered in 2020, slammed a report by The Atlantic’s editor-in-chief who claimed that Donald Trump refused to pay for Guillén’s funeral after previously agreeing to. He also claimed that the former president made racists remarks towards her ethnicity.

The article, which was written by Jeffrey Goldberg, claimed that Trump was extremely upset after receiving a $60,000 funeral bill during a 2020 meeting in the Oval Office. Goldberg claims Trump stated “It doesn’t cost $60,000 bucks to bury a f–king Mexican.”

Goldberg also claimed that Trump demanded his former chief of staff, Mark Meadows, not to pay the bill, stating “Don’t pay it!”

Vanessa Guillén was 20-years-old at the time of her death. She was murdered in 2020 by Aaron Robinson, a soldier who was stationed at the same base in Texas.

Robinson, along with his then-girlfriend, Cecily Aguilar, dismembered Guillén’s body after the murder and hid it in the woods. Robinson ended up committing suicide after a confrontation with police. Aguilar pleaded guilty for aiding Robinson’s crimes, which resulted in a 30 year prison sentence.

The release of the article sparked backlash from Vanessa’s sister, Mayra Guillén, as well as the family attorney, stating that Trump has done “nothing but show[n] respect to my family.”

“Wow. I don’t appreciate how you are exploiting my sister’s death for politics-hurtful & disrespectful to the important changes she made for service members, “ Mayra stated on X. “President Donald Trump did nothing but show respect to my family & Vanessa. In fact, I voted for President Trump today.”

Wow. I don’t appreciate how you are exploiting my sister’s death for politics- hurtful & disrespectful to the important changes she made for service members. President Donald Trump did nothing but show respect to my family & Vanessa. In fact, I voted for President Trump today. https://t.co/o8cDrKOKBV— Mayra Guillen (@mguilen_) October 22, 2024

Natalie Khawam, the Guillén family attorney, also released a statement accusing Goldberg of exploiting the tragic death of Guillén for political gain ahead of the election.

“After having dealt with hundreds of reporters in my legal career, this is unfortunately the first time I have to go on record and call out Jeffery Goldberg@the Atlantic: not only did he misrepresent our conversation but he outright LIED in HIS sensational story,” she wrote on X.

After having dealt with hundreds of reporters in my legal career, this is unfortunately the first time I have to go on record and call out Jeffrey Goldberg@the Atlantic: not only did he misrepresent our conversation but he outright LIED in HIS sensational story. More… https://t.co/uJtfsNTo37— Attorney Natalie Khawam (@WhistleblowerLF) October 22, 2024

“More importantly, he used and exploited my clients, and Vannesa Guillenss murder… for cheap political gain. I would like to also point out that the timing of this “story” is quite suspicious, as this supposed conversation that Trump had would have occurred over 4 years ago! Why a story about it now?!” she continued, questioning Goldberg’s intentions.

“As everyone knows, not only did Trump support our military, he also invited my clients to the Oval Office and supported the I Am Vanessa Guillen bill too,” she added.

Meadows also spoke out against Goldberg’s accusations, stating that “Any suggestion that President Trump disparaged Ms. Guillen or refused to pay for her funeral expenses is absolutely false,” he wrote in an X post. “He was nothing but kind, gracious, and wanted to make sure that the military and the U.S. government did right by Vanessa Guillén and her family.”

Additionally, the Trump campaign responded to the claims, stating that Goldberg’s report was “absolutely false.”

“President Donald Trump has spent his life caring for America’s military heroes…,” stated Alex Pfeiffer, a Trump campaign advisor. “There has been no greater advocate for our brave military men and women than Donald J. Trump.”

Stay informed! Receive breaking news blasts directly to your inbox for free. Subscribe here. https://www.oann.com/alerts

[yourcomedyminute]

Your Comedy Minute Special Guest Compilation Reel Featuring: Blaine Capatch, Helen Shephard.Jennica Sadhwani, Mike T Is For Terrific, Jaclyn Passaro, Zahan Khursigara, Steve Goldberg, Dev Maddox, Webb Wilder, Jessica Phillips, Shawn Ruiz, Patrick Golden, Joe Scrocca Jr., Moe Williams, Lindsay Roth, Steven J. Springer, Metaljakester, Diane Callis, Cory Albert, Bo Vance, Naked Eddie, Wendy Gray, Jeffery Baylock, Justin Rademacher, Brian Blanton, Kaitey Hembree, Mook Mane DA Comedian-host, Dalton Ty Packan, Carol Leung, James Slack, Cara Amore,  Brohan Kwon, Emmy Buttrick, Seth Gwaltney, Helaine Witt, Dani De La Cruz, Mike Celona, Anthony Reyes, Collin Christopher, Scott Shanahan, Carolyn Bell L. Lubner, Ethan Feldman, Gini Sikes, Meryl Klemow, Pirate Stu's Dad Joke of the Day, Maria Rivadeneyra, Dave from Total Blackout Painting, Jeff Jackson AKA Daddy Is Best, Tashen, Wookie, The Gwynn Factor, Joe Moffett, Risa Cookie J, and Trystan. 

This is a collection of 54 of my favorite comedians and guests that have been on the show. To see the full interviews of these great comics go to the special guests section on the home page. 

If you would like to be a guest on Your Comedy Minute please contact me

[fkyumerica]

the micky d kids club

mcdonalds kids club

burger king club kids club

were boomers

the guys sleeping around

and after the dates with more than one woman

they go to fuck up anyone and rob them

mess up their car

and put shit on you too

they say who is your mom or dad

then go at them

a go orange card

holding up

world cup

assholes still together

thats my mom i attack

thats my dad i attack

they met fred flinstone

their dad

had 18 wives

and those are his kids

angela

anne marie

mallory

michelle

robbie

carrie

alix

ivan

curter

lil wayne

teddy

rooter

silouette

leon

chris

garder

whinslet

jurrer

jeph

anthony

tony

seller

marilyn manson

and purger

and they all get together on whoopi goldberg ear piece

"i dont care about you"

meant other people but them

steal them and get it and I dont care

and yea they hit on you and rape you

each time

and whoa come on

fuck or we'll attack you

and gays believe it

and need to be displayed

and talked to

and

rehab

feel bad for me again guys lets lay down

do drugs

and sex with each other

then get a car

and leave

their dad leaves cars for them

lincoln park kids are them

i wasnt one

what calss

we didnt go

we left in a bus

timmy and devin were curtis and david, franklin and jeffery, craig and cody

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Incredibly based, Jeffery Goldberg.

This makes more sense when you realize Jeffrey Goldberg is editor in Chief at The Atlantic:

[rebeleden]

Writers at 'The Atlantic' examine what Trump's second term could look like : NPR

[truck-fump]

Writers at 'The Atlantic' examine what <b>Trump's</b> second term could look like - NPR

New Post has been published on https://www.google.com/url?rct=j&sa=t&url=https://www.npr.org/2023/12/08/1218100652/writers-at-the-atlantic-examine-what-trumps-second-term-could-look-like&ct=ga&cd=CAIyGjUzM2UwMTY5ZmFhZTIwMGQ6Y29tOmVuOlVT&usg=AOvVaw2xoBG5-kVoKybCC6uFaGHR

Writers at 'The Atlantic' examine what Trump's second term could look like - NPR

NPR’s Steve Inskeep asks Jeffery Goldberg, editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, why he dedicated an issue of the magazine to the potential dangers of …

[comicweek]

Ta-Nehisi Coates & Jeffrey Goldberg | Keynote | SXSW 2018

[kaceyrps]

NATALIE ALYN LIND in THE GOLDBERGS

7.02

[scullydubois]

thoughts on The Goldberg Variation (7x06)

Written by Jeffrey Bell     Directed by Thomas J Wright

I just looked up what a Rube Goldberg machine is, so I guess I’m ready

No clue what that means for the episode, but let’s gooooo

They’re pokering 

Ooo he’s got a straight flush...unprecedented

Honestly...this guy winning big on the first hand and just taking all the money is a mood

Of course no one else is having it

You ever get thrown off a building and walk away fine?

Oh, just noticed they’re in Chicago!

Mulder’s about to do something clowny 

Yep

30 floors...wow

So the theory is...he’s really lucky

Dafuq

Ewwwwww

He just threw it and caught it...Clowny Mulder is my favorite Mulder

Prosthetic eyes...god

Help this woman Mulder

What did I say! Clowny!

Bitch, he just went through the floor

Sorry but this is funny as fuck

It’s alright, his ass broke the fall

That’s pretty cool

“Maybe his luck is the X-file”

Everything is happening

How in the….

Smells like an X-file

Cause and effect, obviously

He’s got that dumb luck

What did I say about Scully and kids????? Let me rest!!

WAIT that’s Shia LeBoeuf

“I like baseball too” uhhhh

The props people must’ve had a fun time with this

“Everything happens for a reason, only just sometimes it’s hard for us to see” deep

What a hiding spot

What’s he been putting off

Henry lost his eye in a plane crash

He’s going out for the lottery

Or just a scratch-off ticket

He got that 100k

Ouch

Found his hiding spot

Y’all really slacking at your job as, you know, FBI agents

Got’em

Fuck

Human pinball machine!

He’s got those high cards

Okay, but the balance thing is really interesting….he gets really lucky, so people around him suffer

He needs that money for Richie

All lucky streaks eventually end

Ooo Scully just got the higher card

Well….

His goddamn eye

Oh god, Richie

She’s bringing that whole contraption to the hospital?

Get this boy a donor!!

Oof...I think you are trapped in one of those contraptions

Maybe these guys have a point

Whew, they made a real-life contraption

Blackout! 

The guy that died is a match to Richie!! Yay!

Sweet

Consensus: I always applaud an episode that actually makes me feel good at the end, and this one did.

4 out of 5 stars