#jason downing

[non-binary-lil-star]

Batman: * enters the room with a bunch of children following behind *

JLA: ???

Green Lantern: Huh

Green Arrow: Batman, who the fuck are these kids?

Batman: Language

Batman: These are my children. Agent A is sick so I had to bring then in

Wonder Woman: I am not acquainted with the hero know as 'agent a'

Aquaman: As long as they don't cause trouble I don't see the issue

Flash: ???

Flash: You don't see the issue? Batman didn't have any kids until not that long ago where did they COME FROM???

Batman: ...

Batman: Oldest one i found in the circus

Batman: Second eldest was born from the shadows

Green Arrow: Wha-

Batman: Third one, i found in the trash

Batman: Fourth one followed me home after I forgot the door open

Batman: And my youngest my ex mailed to me

Aquaman: Mailed??

Batman: I tried to return him but the post office guy said neither Heaven nor Hell wanted him

Batman: Or anyone in Gotham, for that matter

JLA: ...

Flash: ...

Flash: ... sorry I asked

[timdrakealways17]

Tim: I discovered who Batman is

Bruce, acting shocked: who??

Tim: it’s… CLARK KENT

Damian, watching from afar: I know we all agreed weed would help Drake calm down.. but this is..

Jason: more importantly why is Bruce playing along?

Dick: I want to hear more about this theory

—-

Meanwhile in Metropolis:

Clark, reading the newspaper, cup of coffee: did someone call for me?

Lois: no? Who do you think did?

Clark: this is going to sound crazy, but I think Tim thinks I’m Batman and is unaware of Bruce’s identity

Lois: ok.. while you ponder that can you do the dishes?

Kon, also listening in, pulling Lois aside: I want it on record that I did NOT supply Tim with weed

Lois:

Kon: and that I would NEVER do so

Lois: I will offer you ten seconds to find a better hiding spot for your stash than under your bed

Kon, running off:

—-

This was the last time Bruce was convinced to allow Tim to consume substances based on a slideshow that Tim had created.

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

Headcannon that Jason got the headstone from his grave and put it above his bed because it says 'Here lies Jason Todd' (he broke off the good soldier bit ofc) and thinks it's the funniest thing ever, some of the family, of course, are horrified.

Dick, at Jason's before they go out on patrol: Hey Jaybird, make sure to bring a spare respir--WHAT THE HELL?!?

Dick, looking frantically between Jason and the headstone: this is clearly a threat. Somebody knows your identity. I swear to GOD when I find who did this--

Jason, looking up from his phone comepletely unbothered: oh yeah, about that

--------

Bonus:

--------

Tim, climbing through Jasons bedroom window: Hey, its me, dont shoot. Do you have a first aid kit here right?

Jason, getting up from where he was reading in bed: ugh yeah sure, one sec

Jason, proceeds to grab a sticky note saying 'DOES NOT' and jabs it onto the headstone so it reads 'Here DOES NOT lie Jason Todd':

Tim:

Tim: okay that's funny

[noodles-and-tea]

You've given us Clark and Grayson, but would you consider Jay and Wonderwoman???

:,D

[arunneronthird]

he will use every chance he gets to be a drama queen and if he doesnt have one he will create one

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[arkangelo-7]

Love the idea of the Batfamily showing a serious, united front whenever they’re working with the Justice League (i.e., obeying Bruce’s orders without question or defaulting to Dick’s authority, following Bruce’s comm protocol, upholding expected field etiquette, coordinating with one another with terrifying efficiency, and generally just not fucking around), but then the minute they get back to the Cave they immediately start to throw hands over who gets to use the PS5.

[goldfishinaplasticbag]

i’ll let you, just once.

edit: okay i might be silly. totally forgot that janet does die before tim officially become robin. my brain got it mixed up its been too long. the message still works but aaaaah would have been more impactful if i had remembered!

however. let’s just say this is foreshadowing and mama drake hasn’t died yet but will very, very soon. that’s why she’s centred instead of jack. tim will soon learn a similar pain to bruce

[n0tsketchyy]

Bruce, extremely serious: The mission requires absolute focus. 

Dick: Got it. 

Jason: Whatever. 

Tim, typing furiously:Understood. 

Damian: sharpening knife Acceptable.

Five minutes into patrol

Dick: over comms Did anyone else see that cat that looked exactly like Alfred? 

Jason: The one with the judgmental stare? Already took pictures. 

Tim: Sending them to Alfred now. 

Damian: I've named it Pennyworth Junior. 

Bruce: deep sigh

[prlssprfctn]

Dick, tired after another session of being bullied by his own siblings: God, do we even have someone in this family who is accepting?

Tim: Well, not me and Steph, obviously

Damian: I am not in this particular competition. Perhaps Cain?

Stephanie, scoffing: Absolutely not my beautiful Cass. She judges you hard every day in my dms.

Dick, hopeful: Duke?

Damian, who had been shit-talking about others with Duke for a year now: You have a wrong idea in mind, Grayson.

Cassandra, appearing out of nowhere: Jason.

Tim, instantly protesting: No! He is like, professional hater.

Cassandra, shrugging: Does he hate things? Yes. Does he judge? No. Try admitting the most different things to him — you will see.

Everyone: ...

Everyone: On it.

Tim, eying at Jason, who sits in the Batcave during one of the missions: Jason?

Jason: Mhm?

Tim: Urgh... I fucked up. Forgot about Bart's birthday.

Jason: Okay? Just aplogise and gift him stuff.

Tim: ...Okay, wtf, since when you are so understanding?

Jason: Wtf?

Duke: Urgh, Jason?

Jason: What?

Duke: I got in the fight in school.

Jason: Well, you clearly won?

Duke: Yeah, sure.

Jason: Cool. Have fun dealing with the aftermath.

Duke: ...

Duke: ...Thanks?

Stephanie: I eat pineapple pizza and coat my watermelon with Nutella.

Jason:

Jason: ...Okay? Bon appetite?

Stephanie: !!!

Damian: I probably killed someone by the accident.

Jason: Aha. Is that a request for my cleaning services or just an information to keep in mind?

Damian: ...Second one.

Jason: Ok. Have fun.

Dick, a week after: Man, okay, you are clearly not high, I checked. What is the secret of such an angelic level of acceptance while being a hater????

Jason: I follow the Idk+Idc rule. I don't know and I don't care.

Dick: But don't you feel outrageous? At least sometimes? LIKE, MAN, WATERMELON AND NUTELLA?

Jason: I don't know. I don't care.

Jason, after a beat of silence: Unless it is Bruce. Him, I judge.

Dick: ...Of course.

[aficionadoenthusiast]

jason's 13 years at the super disciplined camp and several years as a leader of said camp mean it is very unlikely that he is any shade of feral, except for maybe a few minor idiosyncracies that all camp jupiter kids have because they all spent time at the wolf house, but since they all have these traits, they might be considered cultural rather than feral. however, annabeth chase, who was famously left alone until she was seven and was raised by an ancient greek horse man that used to live alone on a mountain, a barely sober god of mental illness, several other mythical beings based on animals, and approximately 37 different traumatized, exhausted, and desperate teenagers at an unregulated summer camp where she learned how to be scary by studying greek monsters, would definitely be somewhere near feral.

[everwalldigan]

I love the idea of all the robins kinda being clones of each other with just a few differences and a concussed Bruce not being able to tell who he’s squinting at so he just says generic statements and avoids saying any names

Bruce (sitting at the breakfast table): so… how’s the weather… dick?

Jason (grinning): you do know I’m gonna hold this against you for like, the next 2 months right

Bruce: (groans into his hands)

Bruce (walking into the living room): hey have you read through the files I gave you yesterday?

Dick: (confused cause he took a day off to surprise Bruce) ?

Bruce: so?

Dick: er… no?

Bruce: Dick?? What are you doing here?

Bruce (walks into the kitchen with a fresh concussion): Jason? I thought you were on a mission with the outlaws?

Tim: (frozen through mid fridge raid, having assumed they were past Bruce calling him Jason since yk. He’s a shit brickhouse now and Tim is, well, obviously not): uh?

Bruce: *turns around and leaves*

Bruce: Oh hey Cass, when did you arrive from Babs’?

Damian: (slowly turns around in the black hoodie he’s wearing) we’re not even the same gender

Bruce: (under his breath) yeah but the same height

[axiliern]

god please take every traumatic incident i had as a younger sibling and give it to tim drake

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Robin, pointing at the newly established Nightwing: Aren’t ya gonna do something about him?

Nightwing, full dicowing glory:

Robin: Ya look like you’re goin’ to a shitty disco to get all kinds of fucked up diseases.

Nightwing: Awww thank you little wing.

Robin: That wasn’t a compliment.

Batman: Be nice to your brother.

Robin, eyebrow raised: So ya approve?

Batman, thinking back to the time he tried to convince 9-year-old Robin into a pair of pants: I’ll give you $300 if you can get him to change it.

Jason: Deal.

[fakakta-art]

Jason: *terrified, thinks he's gonna die* Bruce: *used to carrying Dick around like a ferret* small child. so small.

[frownyalfred]

something something Jason Todd not realizing how much Bruce was actively keeping his body language neutral and his stature non-threatening until he himself got dunked in the Lazarus Pit and came out just as massive and had to figure out the hard way that he and Bruce can’t just cross their arms or stand at their full heights without scaring civilians