#james cameron made my dad cry

[nilsavatar]

Guys, I have the cutest dad in the world.

Last night we were watching ATWOW together, it was his first time.

He got very sad when RDA was hunting the Tulkuns down, and when Neteyam was shot he said with a broken heart "He's hurt!". (Usually Dad hardly ever speaks during a film, unlike his daughter).

Finally, when Neteyam died, he wanted to stop the film, saying he could go no further.

I imagine that as a father witnessing the death of his own son is atrocious. And that seeing it, even if only in a movie, has awakened this fear in him.

Dad is tough, but he doesn't hide his emotions. I am very proud to have been raised by a man who is not ashamed to show his feelings. I think that's one of the bravest things ever.

[milkiane]

father figure; rafe cameron

father figure masterlist

summary: a happy ending for the family you love.

warnings: ending 😩 gif credits to @madelyn-cline

word count: 961

rafe was unknowingly staring into the void as another disney played on the television.

tommy was laying on his chest and you were curled up on his side as he mindlessly played with your hair.

he doesn't know how he got here. but it gave him something to think about.

rafe has never thought of having someone to love him. he was so blinded by the yearning of his father’s praise that he forgot that there is someone out there made for him to love and to love him.

he wanted one, but he was given two, and he would never complain about that.

“daddy?” tommy hesitated, peeking through the wall. “why are you crying?”

rafe sniffed, his heart breaking even more. he opened his arms as he gestured for him to come over. “i-i’m okay, bud. don’t worry,”

tommy didn’t believe him. he furrowed his eyebrows as he placed his hands on rafe’s face. “what’s wrong, dad?”

“tommy,” rafe sighed, looking up at the ceiling to prevent any more tears from falling. “you- you do know that i’m not your father, right?”

“what?” tommy cocked his head to his side, confused at rafe’s words. “yes you are, you’re my dad.”

“no, no i’m not.” he let out a shaky breath. “the man from earlier, his name is james, and he’s your real father. i’m just your father figure, tommy.”

“no!” tommy exclaimed, his voice breaking at rafe’s words. “stop saying that, rafey. you’re my dad.”

“you’re my dad…” he blinked the tears away, throwing his arms around rafe.

you and rafe exchanged looks, and you gave rafe a reassuring nod. “yeah, i- i’m your dad.”

you both knew that you would need to have this talk again soon, but for now, you’ll have to live in the moment, even if it’s just for a moment.

tommy was already asleep against his chest when he snapped out of his thoughts. he sighed quietly and looked over at you and planted a kiss on the side of your head.

“was- was it how you always thought it would be?” you whispered, looking away from the television.

“which one?” rafe asked.

you shrugged. “us… or how you had your future planned out but you got stuck with us instead.”

your tone was playful but the both of you knew that you had a second meaning behind that question.

“no,” rafe answered. “but it’s way better than how i thought it would be.”

he hesitated for a moment. “y/n…”

“yeah?” you smiled softly at him, something that never failed to make him at ease. the flickering lights of the movie reflected against your face, you were wearing some sleeping shorts and one of his shirts but rafe couldn’t help but fall a little more in love with you.

it was the right moment.

“will you marry me?” rafe whispered. “i- i didn’t plan it this way. i had a reservation planned on that bistro we went to on our first date, i ordered that dress you’ve been eyeing for weeks now, and the ring is upstairs, tommy and i picked it out last week and-“

you shut him up with a kiss, careful not to wake the sleeping tommy on his chest. “yes, rafe. i’ll marry you.”

the both of you let out a teary laugh, making tommy stir from his sleep. “what’s happening?”

“i asked her, tommy,” rafe grinned. “she said yes.”

“yes to what?” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.

“i’m gonna marry your mom.”

magically, those five words effectively eliminated any trace of sleepiness from his body. “what? but we had a plan, daddy! i thought we had to follow our blueprint?”

“you have a blueprint?” you laughed.

rafe playfully rolled his eyes at you and cupped his hands over tommy’s ears to whisper something.

you raised your eyebrows at the two of them when tommy suddenly leaped away from the couch and ran down the hallway.

“hey! be careful, tommy.”

“oops, sorry mom.”

you shot rafe a questionable look, and was about to ask him what he was planning when tommy came back fast-walking, humming the wedding tune as he held a red velvet box in his hands.

“thank you, tommy.” rafe smiled, bringing the boy back to his lap.

“y/n l/n, will you, again, give me the honors of being your husband?” he asked, opening the box to showcase the beautiful ring your two favorite boys picked out.

“yes, you sap.” you laughed, biting your lip to contain the huge smile that threatened to grow as he slipped the ring on your finger.

“you may now kiss the bride!” tommy clapped.

“can’t disappoint the little guy,” rafe shrugged, pulling you in for a sweet kiss.

tommy blinked at the both of you as you continued to kiss, expecting the both of you to pull away. but as soon as three more seconds passed, he grabbed rafe’s arm and pulled him away. “okay, that’s enough smooches.”

you laughed, grabbing tommy and hugging him. “how do you feel about all this, tommy?”

“i feel very happy,” he smiled, looking over at you and rafe. “it means that rafey would be like my real dad now because he’ll marry you.”

you smiled, kissing him on the cheek before turning your gaze back at your fiancé. “what did you bribe tommy with to keep this a secret?”

he let out a gasp in mock offense. “how dare you think i’d have to bribe him with something to listen to me.”

you shot him an unamused look.

“he bought me three flavors of ice cream.” tommy whispered in your ear, but it was loud enough for rafe to hear.

“… i bought him three flavors of ice cream.”

[moldisgoodforyou]

so you lied

warnings: angst :///// but with a resolution

wordcount: 2.5k

______

After two Princess Diaries movies and three bottles of wine into the night, Rafe, Julia and Allie were sufficiently tipsy - Rafe a little more so. He had insisted on ordering pasta to the girls’ house and Julia kept Sophie updated with several Snapchats, captioning the first with ‘your sugar daddy is my favorite person tonight.’ (Sophie just sent back ‘you’re the worst.’) 

“You guys are fun. I miss Sophie though.” Rafe lamented as the movie ended, taking another sip of wine. He hadn’t paced himself as well as the girls did and was amusingly drunk - Julia’s encouragement and constant refills didn’t help. 

“You’ve told us that three times now, buddy.” Allie grinned. 

“Yeah.” He mumbled. “She’s not gonna be happy with me.” 

Julia sat up, eyebrows raised. “Why? What’d you do?” 

“I did nothing.” Rafe paused. “Well. Maybe I did something by doing nothing.” 

Allie frowned and reached over, kicking at his foot. “Spill.” 

“I spilled?” He looked down at his glass and patted his shirt. Julia laughed, shaking her head. “No, Rafe. Tell us what you did. Or...didn’t do.” 

“Oh.” He took another long drink of wine. “Colin told me not to.” 

“I will take your wine away if you don’t tell us.” Julia threatened, reaching for his glass, and he held it back out of her reach. “No! No, I’ll tell. I’m working with Brooklyn.” 

“Like...your ex, Brooklyn?” Allie clarified. 

“Yeah. She’s at my internship and she sucks. I didn’t tell Sophie she’s there.” He groaned, letting his head flop back against the couch. “Soph’s gonna kill me.” 

Both the girls sat there, processing what he had just shared. 

“I messed up, didn’t I?” 

Julia nodded. “Big time.” 

“You have to tell her, Rafe. Soon as you can.” Allie told him, but grabbed his phone out of his hand when he pulled it out of his pocket. “Not now though. You’re drunk and she’ll think something’s wrong.” 

“Ughhhh.” He grumbled. “Colin said I shouldn’t tell her because I shouldn’t make her stress.” 

“Yeah, Colin’s single for a reason.” Julia quipped, rolling her eyes. “Look, I don’t even know this girl, but I know she’s trouble. She made Sophie cry after that gala you guys went to.” 

He frowned, sitting upright. “She cried?” 

“When she told us the next day, yeah. She was pretty upset.” Julia took his glass and refilled it, ignoring Allie’s elbow to her side. “What happened with her?” 

“Sophie?” 

“No, your ex.” 

“Jules.” Allie chastised, sending Rafe a sympathetic look, but he shook his head. “S’alright. Our dads kinda set us up, and she was easy to be with, at first. Then she got kinda, uh.” He paused, trying to think of the right word. “Controlling? I dunno. One time I told her I had to go meet with some girls for a group project, and she accused me of cheating and told me I was a horrible person, then didn’t talk to me for days until I apologized. Which is kind of messed up.” 

“Shit.” Julia mumbled. “You deserve better than that.” 

“I have better, with Sophie.” He pointed out, then sighed. “She’s really gonna hate me.” 

“She’s not going to hate you, Rafe.” Allie handed him a water bottle, tugging a little to take the wine glass away. 

“It’s easy to hate me.” He told them matter-of-factly, and they both frowned, unsure on how to deal with him in his drunken state. “It’s not, bud, we like you.” Julia countered, then stood and offered her hand. “I think it’s time to go home, don’t you?” 

“No, fuck, I can’t go to Colin’s. I’m sober. Wait. No, I’m not sober.” He accepted her hand and let her tug him up, throwing his arm over her shoulders for support. 

“Jesus. Okay. You can stay in what’s gonna be Sophie’s room, but if you throw up, I’m telling her. Five glasses of wine, Rafe, this is weak.” Julia rolled her eyes and he patted her head affectionately. “You guys are the bestest.” 

Allie followed behind them up the stairs, hands out to catch him if he tripped and fell. Once they got up, Rafe stood in the doorway, swaying a little. “We should call Sophie.” 

“It’s, like, 5am there buddy, she needs to sleep.” Julia insisted, steering him toward the bed that Sophie bought before leaving and had thrown a couple blankets on top. 

“Oh, you’re right. She needs her sleep.” He sighed, curling up on the bed and wrapping a spare blanket around himself. “I miss sleeping with her.” 

“Gross.” Allie muttered, nose wrinkled. 

Rafe shook his head, insistent. “No! No, not like that. But also like that. Both.” 

“Okay. We don’t need to hear it.” Julia laughed and tugged his shoes off for him. Allie set a water bottle on the nightstand. “No calling Sophie, okay?” 

“No calling Sophie.” He repeated, nodding. “Angel needs sleep.” 

Julia pretended to gag. “You two are so cute, it’s disgusting.” 

He yawned, pulling the blanket tighter. “I’ll set you up with James again if you want. Sophie said no but she’s not here to decide so we’re allowed to do whatever we want to do.” 

She laughed, subtly taking a photo of him to send to Sophie. “That’s okay. Sleep tight, Cameron.” 

He merely nodded, closing his eyes. The girls left the room, quietly shutting the door behind them. “We have to tell her, don’t we?” Allie asked, frowning. 

Julia shook her head. “No. He’ll tell her, we’ll just remind him in the morning.” She paused, thinking. “He’s good for her.” 

Allie nodded in agreement. “He is.” 

_____

The next morning, a very hungover Rafe was sent on his way out the house with a bacon, egg and cheese bagel and a lecture from both the girls. His head was spinning and he felt nauseous, though he wasn’t sure if that was from the wine or anticipation of having to tell his girlfriend he lied. 

“Omitted the truth,” he had tried arguing with Julia, who promptly socked his arm. “No. You lied. Nice try.”

Once he was home in Colin’s parents house, tucked away in his room, he had to give in. Sophie picked up the phone on the third ring like always, a little sweaty and breathless. “Hey, Rafe, can I call you back?” 

“I - uh, can you talk now?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. She frowned, picking up on his stress and flushed cheeks. “Um, yeah, just let me find a spot to sit. Are you okay?” 

He nodded, not wanting to tell her much more. “Are you running?” 

“No, working out in the park.” She flipped the screen to show a gorgeous grassy green park view looking out over the ocean, with clear blue skies. “I was almost done, anyways, you’re saving me from crunches,” she flipped the screen back, grinning. “What’s up?” 

Out with it, Rafe. He told himself in his head, feeling sicker by the second. “So, uh, you know my internship?” He cursed himself internally the second he spoke. Of course she knew about his internship. 

“Yes…?” 

“Right, yeah. So we have this group of interns, and we’re required to do this weekly events, you know. So, yeah, that’s pretty cool, I guess.” 

Sophie frowned. “Rafe, what is up with you? You look like you’re about to throw up, did you really drink that much last night with the girls?” 

He scowled, trying not to think about the alcohol. “No, just. Thought I just probably share that Brooklyn is one of the interns too. My ex,” he added for unnecessary clarification. 

“Oh.” 

That was it? He thought, pleasantly surprised. “Yeah. That’s all, you can finish your workout. Sorry to bug you.” 

“She’s been working with you? Is this new?” Her tone was scarily even, her face showing zero emotion. 

Oh. So maybe he wouldn’t be getting out of it that easy. Rafe swallowed, knowing he was in trouble. “Um, no. She’s been there since week one like me.” 

“So you lied.” 

“No!” He scrambled to come up with an explanation. “I thought - Colin thought - we figured it might be better to not have you worry -”

Her voice turned incredulous, on the verge of breaking. “You thought it would be better to lie and not tell me, rather than openly communicating? Isn’t that exactly what she did to you?” 

Suddenly it all made sense why she’d heard about three things total about the internship he’d been working for nearly a month. 

He felt his stomach drop and a wave of regret wash over him. “I fucked up, Sophie, I’m sorry. I should have told you.” 

She shook her head quickly, not wanting him to see her cry. “I have bad signal. I have to go.” It was a shitty excuse - the picture was crystal clear - but she hung up right away anyways. Never mind him wanting to say a million more words to apologize, him trying to find the words to explain. He tried calling her back immediately, but she rejected the call - twice - and he figured he should just give her space. 

_______

She called him back at around midnight her time, when he had just gotten home from the store. “Hey, Soph.” He answered with a gentle tone, a little wary. 

“Hey.” She murmured back, equally quiet. “Can we talk?” 

“Should I be worried?” He joked. 

“Rafe.” 

“Sorry.” He immediately apologized. “Not funny. Give me a second to get my things inside and I’ll facetime you?” 

“Yes, please.” 

“Okay. Just a couple minutes, angel, I won’t make you wait long.” He hung up and practically scrambled to get in the house, offering a quick greeting to Colin and his family before locking himself in his room and shoving a towel under the door to soundproof as much as he could, then called her back. “Hi, told you I wouldn’t make you wait.” 

“True to your word.” She mumbled. Her eyes were a little red and puffy, and he could immediately tell she was anxious from the way she chewed on her lip. “Can you just be honest with me, please?” 

“Yeah, anything. What do you want to know?” He frowned, hating seeing her so upset and knowing he was the reason for it. 

“I know you would never do anything, I’m not questioning that. But why did you lie? That hurts, Rafe.” She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry again. 

He sighed, rubbing his temple. “I thought I would be able to avoid her, and I didn’t want to stress you out when you couldn’t do anything from so far away. I’m sorry. I was wrong.” 

“Yeah.” She agreed. “Are you working closely with her? More than you thought?” 

He grimaced. “Yeah. Not just her, it’s all the interns, but we have a dinner or we go to the bar almost every week. And she kinda, um, goes out of her way to hang around.” 

“Oh.” She murmured. “Has she tried anything?” 

“Meaning…?” 

“I don’t know.” She paused. “I don’t know if I want to know that much, actually. You’re right, I can’t really do anything. She knows we’re still dating though, right?” 

He nodded quickly. “I have a picture of us pinned up on my desk, it’s hard to miss. And I’ve made it clear.” 

“Hm.” She scowled, clearly wrestling with how to deal with the situation. “You promise you’ll tell me if she, like, asks you out or something though, right? 

“Yeah, of course. We’re always at work or work events anyways, so. She’s fairly, uh, limited. I think.” He shrugged. “I won’t let anything happen, okay?” 

“I know,” she nodded. “I just don’t like her being around when I’m not. She hardly held back when I was there at the gala, I don’t even want to know what she’d be like without me there. Are you doing alright, though?” 

“Uh, yeah. It’s fine.” He hedged, not wanting to worry her further. 

“You’ve hardly told me anything about her.” She pointed out. “What happened?” 

Rafe winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “Do we have to talk about it?” 

“No, I’m not going to make you, but. I would like to know.” She raised her eyebrows. “I can tell you about my exes if you want?” 

“Soph -” he started, but she rambled on. 

“Or the guy I lost my virginity to? I think he came in like, half a minute, it was sophomore year -”

“Sophie! No, stop, I don’t want to hear it.” He gave her an exasperated smile and she brightened a little, glad she was able to somewhat turn the mood. “Another time, okay? I don’t really want to talk about her anymore. I miss you.” 

She softened, nodding. “I miss you too. I wish you were here already, I feel like everything reminds me of you.” 

“Yeah? Like what?” He settled back against the bed, content. 

“The mangoes at the market, because you always get that mango smoothie in the library when you’re studying with me. And when this guy Mateo, at work, he has the best handwriting and he writes in that same cursive-print hybrid that you do. Oh! And I got you a shirt yesterday but I can’t show you, it’s a surprise.” She reached across her bed to her nightstand, pushing a brown bag out of view. 

He laughed, shaking his head. “Tell me about this Mateo kid. He’s the one that called you Sofia, right?” 

She raised her eyebrows, grinning at his complete lack of effort on an accent. “Sofía.” She corrected. 

“So-fee-a.” He repeated slower. “How do I say, this is my girlfriend?” 

“Um…este es mi novia. Wait, no. Esta? I’m not sure.” She hid a yawn behind her hand. 

“Tell me more?” 

“In Spanish, yeah. I like listening.” He smiled at her yawn. 

“Alright, let’s see. Um…” She trailed off, going into a slightly stilted description of what she did that day, then gave him a proud smile once she finished. “Not bad, right?” 

“Not bad at all! I mean, I have no idea what you said,” he grinned, “But you sound great. Practically a local.” 

“Shut up.” She yawned again and rolled over, pulling her pillow to her chest. “Tell me about your day. Even the boring stuff.” 

“Alright.” Rafe started telling her, keeping his voice low and soothing, and it wasn’t long before he could tell she was half-asleep. “Sophie, baby?” 

“Mm?” She mumbled, squinting one eye open. 

“Go to sleep. I love you.” 

“Love you too.” She murmured, nodding. “You’re my favorite, no matter what.” 

“No matter what.” He echoed, nearly whispering by now. “Miss you.” 

She was already asleep, her ring resting on its chain around her neck and on top of her pillow. He had half a mind to say something and tell her to take it off, but just watched her for a few more moments before hanging up. 

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @sunshineitsfine44 @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal @thecuthoney

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, March 15

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Tiger Woods' car crash

Page 2: Bruce Springsteen has beaten the DUI charges leveled against him after federal prosecutors couldn't find a drop of evidence he had been drinking over the legal limit -- with an acceptable blood alcohol level of 0.02 well below the 0.08 threshold at the time of his arrest in Sandy Hook, New Jersey, prosecutors backed off two of their charges for drunken and reckless driving -- the rocker did plead guilty to a third charge, admitting he had two small shots of tequila on federal parkland and for that, he was fines $500 plus $40 in court costs

Page 3: Patrick Dempsey's dreamy return to Grey's Anatomy was a big hit with fans but his well-received cameo left series star Ellen Pompeo seething with jealousy -- Ellen may have permitted Patrick to revisit his old stomping grounds in Meredith Grey's fever dreams in season 17 but she doesn't want him coming back permanently and swiping her hard-earned glory and she considers herself the anchor of the show and thought she was rid of this guy after making the show her own, but now fans are begging for him to be brought back and Ellen is furious -- it's no secret Ellen hated the first 10 years of the show when Patrick was the star and she feels the series got better after he left and she became a big-shot producer, something she'd been demanding for years -- she likes being in control and calling the shots and clearly thinks she got this deal on her merit alone but it's also because she's the star who's lasted the longest; most of the original cast had already left and bosses had to cave in to keep her -- unfortunately being in charge hasn't amounted to better ratings and show has been slipping consistently in recent years and the main reason they brought Patrick back on was to spike the ratings, which it did and now producers are considering offering Patrick a full-time gig but Ellen will do everything in her power to prevent Patrick from stealing her thunder again

Page 4: Home reno gurus Chip and Joanna Gaines are clashing over his wild spending, and she's desperate to rein him in before they land in the poorhouse -- Chip and Jo are rich on paper and worth $20 million in property and assets but they were hit hard by the pandemic like everyone else and recovery has been sluggish to say the least -- they're just getting back on their feet and under a ton of pressure to get their Magnolia network off to a running start but Chip, as usual, is casual when it comes to money and it frustrates Jo to see him buying things they don't need, like new tools and equipment when the old ones work just fine and overpaying on lumber and masonry -- Chip is always shopping and not always for the house; he's got a boot fetish and has dozens of pairs, plus he treats the crew to free cappuccino and treats from their coffeehouse several time a day and Chip wants the best of everything for himself and everyone else

* Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are ready to welcome baby number four through adoption -- the couple who are parents of daughters James and Inez and Betty hope to find their next child in South America and they've invested time and money sponsoring immigrant children and they're warming up to the idea of providing an orphaned baby or toddler with a forever home -- a 16-year-old girl they sponsored through the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights was deported back to Honduras and they were heartbroken, and Blake and Ryan are now determined to provide a child with a happy home and opportunities he or she wouldn't have in their native country

Page 5: Newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Dan Hayhurst are itching to start a family and are already trying for a baby of their own -- 53-year-old Pam tied the knot with the 40-year-old handyman on Christmas Eve at her Vancouver Island home and she's been telling pals they hope to have happy news soon -- Pam wants to build a whole new clan with Dan and he's on board even though they each have kids with their exes and Dan's two kids from a previous relationship are living with the couple at Pam's pad -- the couple love the idea of adopting or going the surrogate route and it's not something they want to waste any time over

Page 6: Weary Kelly Clarkson is juggling her skyrocketing career and brutal divorce battle with estranged husband Brandon Blackstock on less than six hours sleep a night and Kelly has also been pushing to sell her homes in Nashville and Encino, while running her L.A.-based talk show and recording new music -- she's been running herself ragged for months and she's feeling the burn in a big way but despite her exhaustion, she can't sleep and nothing she tries works and the most shut-eye she catches is two, three hours at a time; she lays awake in bed at night worrying and crying

* Suddenly remorseful Kanye West has spiraled into depression and despair since soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian filed for divorce -- for all their problems, Kanye realizes she was the one person who was there for him whenever he went off the deep end and now he knows he's alone and seriously doubts he can hold his life together -- without Kim and her family to keep his wild impulses in check, he may succumb to the poor judgment and wild mood swings that have marked his chronic bipolar disorder as they were the ones who reminded him to take his meds and steer clear of recreational drugs and now all he has is a circle of yes-men he doesn't listen to anyway -- since the split, Kanye has shuttled between his ranch in Cody, Wyoming and a hotel in L.A. near the sprawling mansion he once shared with Kim and he's been blowing up her phone to beg forgiveness, but she won't take his calls and it's driving him off the deep end again

Page 7: Kourtney Kardashian is fed up with Shanna Moakler's online barbs and is plotting her revenge against the ex-wife of her new squeeze -- since Kourtney and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker went public with their romance last month, former pageant queen Shanna has been throwing social media shade and Kourtney's tired of taking Shanna's crap and she's going to fire back soon and Kourtney's using her wide network of contacts in Hollywood to bad-mouth Shanna and she's placing calls to casting directors and perspective suitors to put as many potholes in her love rival's path as possible and she plans to make Shanna regret messing with her

Page 8: Nearly two years after Johnny Depp was forced to exit Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise following ex-wife Amber Heard's allegations of abuse, the company has kicked him while he's down by considering her for a plum part -- Johnny is fuming over news that Amber is reportedly in contention to play fairy-tale heroine Rapunzel in the studio's upcoming live-action remake of Tangled -- for Amber to be in the running for a Disney pic is the ultimate insult to him especially because he believes the company made millions of dollars off his name

Page 9: Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle had a whopping $500 million motive to betray Queen Elizabeth -- outraged at being cut loose by the British royals, the couple retaliated by secretly negotiating backroom Hollywood megadeals and going public on TV -- Harry and Meghan see themselves as victims of an out-of-touch monarchy and want revenge and selling out Harry's family is the way to get it and cash in big-time; Meghan's convinced they'll have deals totaling $500 million by the end of the year but they better act fast because Hollywood is a fickle town where even royalty can be chewed up and spat out

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Amelia Hamlin stuck to the shore while pink-haired beau Scott Disick made waves in Miami, Steve Martin nibbled on a pretzel while filming Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Floyd Mayweather turned 44 and celebrated with a birthday bash in Miami, Bachelorette reject Tyler Cameron showed off his toned tummy in Florida

Page 11: Drew Barrymore feels deeply for dad-controlled Britney Spears because she's been there: she said her mom locked her away in a loony bin for over a year when she was just 13 -- Drew said it's hard to grow up in front of people and she empathizes with Britney and Paris Hilton and any star who can't escape the glare of celebrity -- Drew's mom put her in a place that was a full psychiatric ward and says she used to laugh at those Malibu 30-day places because she was in a place for a year and a half called Van Nuys Psychiatric and you couldn't mess around there and if you did, you would either get thrown in the padded room or put in stretcher restraints and tied up

* Eddie Murphy famously bragged he has never changed a diaper in his life despite having so many kids and now he's set on having another baby with fiancee Paige Butcher and this will make baby No. 11 for Eddie -- he says his genes are incredible as ever, so why stop; he's super fit and Paige is in amazing shape at age 41 and wants at least one more baby so they're going to go for it and are already trying

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- CNN could blitz news veteran Wolf Blitzer as the network revamps its lineup and TV is a young person's game and no one knows that better than Wolf and after 31 years at CNN, he sees new faces getting promoted and knows his days are numbered and Jim Acosta and Poppy Harlow are the future of CNN, not Wolf -- although Wolf's airtime has been cut as Jake Tapper's role expands, he isn't bitter or angry but instead he's grateful for an amazing run

* Love It or List It star Hilary Farr is moving on to her own show and leaving partner David Visentin in the dust -- Hilary's new show is basically the same one she and David have been doing for years, with him edited out and David was blindsided by the news and he knows HGTV has sent out a casting notice for the new show and he's hurt and angry especially because Love It or List It hasn't been renewed yet

* Sacked Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron has reached out to Chris Harrison after he stepped away from The Bachelor amid a racist scandal -- Tom wasn't fired over a scandal, but he knows exactly what Chris is going through because both of them thought they had a job for life, but nothing lasts forever -- Tom is a good guy and wants Chris to know he's around if Chris needs anything

* Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, spruced up for the camera (picture)

Page 13: Brooke Shields isn't letting a busted leg keep her down but she's taking her recovery one step at a time -- she shared an Instagram video showing her cautiously hobbling on crutches and explained she broker her femur and she was beginning to mend -- she didn't reveal what caused the unlucky break

* Outspoken actress Rose McGowan is living a charmed life in Mexico and the Harvey Weinstein accuser has headed south of the border and vows never to return to the United States -- she got her permanent residency card from Mexico and is grateful to have it and says it's a really healing land and it is truly magical -- she moved at the dawn of the COVID-19 pandemic because she knew it was going to get really bad in America and she had a moment to figure out where she wanted to be

* Picky perfectionist Blake Shelton listens to around 300 songs to choose what to record for each of his albums, according to his longtime producer -- music pro Scott Hendricks said he wades through nearly 3000 tracks by professional songwriters to select tunes for Blake to consider and then Blake methodically whittles down the nominees until he's certain which songs he wants to record but Scott admitted that process is more difficult for him culling the 300 from the 3000 -- Scott, who has worked with Blake for most of his career, said of their close professional relationship that the chemistry works and they have recorded several hundred or more songs together and they are getting ready to go do some more

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Killer kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman's busted beauty queen bride will be marked for death behind bars -- if Emma Coronel Aispuro snitches to the feds about the bloodthirsty Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel long run by her caged husband, she'll put a big fat bulls-eye on her back -- according to a federal complaint, Coronel was intimately involved in her husband's multibillion-dollar drug-running racket and acted as his criminal agent while he was on the lam and the mother of El Chapo's two young daughters helped mastermind her spouse's daring 2015 tunnel escape from a Mexican prison and also paid him $100,000 for another failed bust-out a year later -- they are going to put the heat on her to spill more details on other top operatives in the cartel and take them down, too, but if she spills, it will be open season on her on the inside

Page 16: Dr. Dre appears to rap about estranged wife Nicole Young in a song filled with angry, explicit lyrics calling someone in his life a greedy bitch -- DJ Silk previewed part of a new track from Dre full of digs presumably at Nicole, with whom he has been locked in a nasty divorce -- his lyrics include: Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury/ I see you trying to f--k me while I'm in surgery / In ICU death bed on some money s--t / Greedy bitch take a pic / Girl you know how money get

* Hollywood Hookups -- Lorenzo Lamas is set to wed for the sixth time to model Kenna Scott, Justin Hartley and Chrishell Stause are officially divorced, Adam Rippon is engaged to Jussi-Pekka Kajaala

Page 17: Former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan has pleaded guilty to two felony counts of domestic violence -- Zachery, now 39, has been sentenced to three years of probation and will also have to take part in a batterer intervention program

* John Mayer has dated a succession of famous singers including Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Halsey and he hopes they write chart-topping songs about him and admitted he'd be jazzed if his exes enshrined him in song, saying sometimes a song is so good he hopes it's about him and he even scours their lyrics for clues -- Taylor already has several tracks that have been linked to John including Dear John

* Ruthless chef Gordon Ramsay said he's cooked up his own plan to keep his kids humble -- he has five kids with wife Tana: Megan, twins Holly and Jack, Tilly and Oscar but said he plans to leave most of his reported $200 million fortune to charity -- Gordon explained his kids must tidy up after dinners, can only fly coach and are expected to learn how to cook for themselves and he's forbidden them from taking costly taxis and the foulmouthed foodie insisted they don't swear

Page 18: American Life

Page 19: Roseanne Barr was blindsided by a humiliating new scandal after risque photos from the early '90s recently emerged which appear to show her teenage daughters licking her boobs -- Roseanne posed for the shots with her two youngest girls at a Glamour Shots studio in Iowa more than 25 years ago and the photographer who claimed he snapped the fake lesbian lovefest but did not want to be named dished Roseanne and daughters Jessica and Jennifer who are now in their mid-40s happily hammed it up for the camera but decades later Roseanne and her daughters are all mortified and embarrassed by these pics; they were horsing around years ago and never thought they'd see the light of day

Page 20: Cover Story -- Still recovering from agonizing back surgery, Tiger Woods was pushing himself to the limit when he flew off a California cliff into a career-crushing car accident -- lawmen said the golf legend was lucky to be alive after the horrific wreck that shattered his right leg -- the accident only added to Tiger's physical problems; his movement has been restricted since a fifth back operation in December and he was unable to play golf despite an appearance at a local tournament the weekend before the bloody wreck -- at a press conference days before cheating death, Tiger admitted he was worried about his physical condition and his ability to play again, saying a lot of it is based on his surgeons and doctors and therapist and making sure he does it correctly and he doesn't have a lot of wiggle room left -- Tiger could barely move, and it seemed to get him down and his back rehab has been brutal and he was hobbling around and distraught but he refused to give into his condition and his tough-as-nails mindset could have contributed to the crash: when a person is overwhelmed by physical pain, that dominates everything they do and if you're behind the wheel of a car and in physical pain, it can distract you and likely lead to this kind of disaster -- Tiger was eager to get to a TV taping on the morning disaster struck and he seemed impatient when he left the Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes, an L.A. suburb, just after 7 a.m. and although traffic cameras show he was driving within the speed limit, his Genesis GV80 SUV crossed the center median onto the opposite side of the road and flipped -- authorities said Tiger appeared lucid to first responders and there were no signs the recovering addict was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and they did not request a blood test when Tiger was rushed to the hospital from the crash site and the incident was an accident -- Tiger was taken to nearby Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, where doctors said his broken bones protruded through his right leg and they put a rod in his leg and used screws and pins to stabilize the break and his ankle -- it will take three to four months to heal and then eight months of physical therapy and it is unlikely he will ever run again and he may have a limp and in terms of golf, just walking for extended periods of time will be a big deal and recovery will be agonizing; it's a very real possibility that Tiger's taken his final swing

Page 21: Addiction experts warned Tiger Woods' recovery will test his sobriety after his stint in rehab for prescription painkiller use and it is very, very common for a patient in recovery to relapse after a trauma like the one suffered by Tiger and exposure to painkillers administered directly or prescribed after a physical trauma is highly likely to trigger a relapse -- Tiger will probably need painkillers to get through this, but he'll also need to be connected with like-minded people to keep him away from his old thinking that pills are the solution to his problems

Page 22: Desperate Ghislaine Maxwell has offered to renounce her British and French citizenships in a new bid to get out of jail -- the disgraced socialite's last two stabs at freedom including one package offering $22.5 million as bond money were rejected by a judge who deemed her a flight risk -- now according to her lawyers, Ghislaine will formally commence the procedure to renounce her foreign citizenship to satisfy any concerns the court may have that she may try to seek a safe haven in France or the U.K. -- Justice Department officials were concerned Ghislaine would flee to France, where she was born, since the country has no extradition treaty with the U.S.

* Woody Allen claimed his own words are being used to attack him in the bombshell Allen v. Farrow documentary -- Woody has repeatedly denied adopted daughter Dylan Farrow's claims he sexually abused her when she was seven at her mom Mia Farrow's home -- Woody blasted the documentary which rehashes the claims as a shoddy hit piece and a hatched job riddled with falsehoods adding the filmmakers stole from his autobiography

Page 26: Twice-divorced Ricki Lake's engagement to California attorney Ross Burningham has insiders fearing she may suffer yet another heartbreak -- she announced her happy news on Instagram but Ricki has seen far more than her share of bad luck in the romance department and everyone is praying this final shot at love doesn't end in despair and it's never Ricki's fault, but she's never found a man who could keep her happy

Page 28: A lurid landscape of drug-fueled orgies, suicidal thoughts and fake sexual enthusiasm will play out in a new television series based on model and reality star Holly Madison's X-rated confessions from her shocking 2015 biography Down the Bunny Hole -- Madison first exposed the sleazy details of how she and other young women were plied with drugs and coerced to participate in sex parties with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in exchange for acting as his girlfriends and getting to live inside the iconic L.A. mansion along with a weekly $1000 stipend -- the limited series will star actress Samara Weaving as Holly, who was a member of Hef's harem between 2001 and 2008 -- Holly, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt became the notorious stars of the reality show The Girls Next Door which debuted in 2005 and focused on their seemingly glamorous life with Hef but glossed over the dark secrets behind the scenes -- in her bombshell confessions, Holly revealed the 22-bedroom manor was actually a foul pigsty filled with stained mattresses where Hef's live-in ladies were forced to perform weird bedroom rituals and look excited by it

Page 29: Jack Osbourne has listed his sprawling California home for rent at $16,500 a month -- the 35-year-old son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne is offering the five-bedroom, 5600-square-foot home in Studio City unfurnished -- Sharon was recently seen outside the home with moving vans helping Jack prep the property -- Jack, who suffers from multiple sclerosis, bought the home in 2014 when he was married to Lisa Stelly; the couple divorced in 2018 and share three children: Andy, Pearl and Minnie

* Heidi Klum has snipped all threads tying her to dad Gunther Klum after the cosmetics and modeling honcho skipped her wedding -- Heidi dumped her manager dad after he snubbed her August 2019 ceremony in Capri with guitarist Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokio Hotel and she has also ended her German enterprise Heidi Klum GmbH, originally overseen by Gunther -- Heidi and her dad had a falling out over Tom and Gunther never really approved of him and was dead set against the marriage and it drove a wedge in their relationship

Page 32: Health Watch

* Ask the Vet -- an African Gray Parrot with a feather-picking problem

Page 34: Barack Obama broke a buddy's nose over a racist remark -- he revealed the two classmates were playing basketball when his friend hurled a racial slur and he popped him in the face and broke his nose, Obama told Bruce Springsteen on their podcast Renegades: Born in the USA -- Obama said he doesn't think his pal even knew what the word meant, just that it was meant to be hurtful

* Country singer Keith Urban has shrunk to 140 pounds as the former addict is hooked on a bizarre diet of nuts and berries and even worse, the five-foot-ten crooner appears to be growing thinner and friends are worried the stress of his demanding career and his desperate desire to be a good husband to Nicole Kidman may push him over the edge -- no one sees him eating much more than handfuls of raw almonds or sunflower seeds and berries washed down with gallons of water -- though he's been sober since 2006, pals fear the struggle to avoid giving in to temptation as well as hearing Nicole purportedly mended fences with ex-hubby Tom Cruise may be weighing on the star -- despite his bony appearance, Keith thinks he looks great

Page 40: Evil ISIS terrorists are using the COVID-19 pandemic as cover while they rebuild their network and mastermind new attacks and both Iraq and the U.S. are in their crosshairs -- because the West has been focused on dealing with the pandemic, ISIS and new groups sprung from their shattered forces have been reloading and plotting revenge, according to Ryan Mauro of the terrorist-monitoring Clarion Intelligence Network -- the pandemic has brought decreased confidence in Western governments, which has emboldened the terrorists to launch sleeper cell attacks on foreign soil

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Anya Taylor-Joy

[thenerdyunhealthybrit]

So......I saw a bunch of reblogs of Jenna Coleman in period clothing on my dash & immediately thought @fictionxlover is at it again but then I looked properly at the post & was shocked it’s you lmao

Lol. I feel like I should explain.

So I recently got a month’s free trial of Britbox over here, and while the catalogue is lacking the stuff I wanted to watch (that’s on US Britbox), I got it regardless to watch some stuff on it and it recommended me ITV’s 2012 miniseries of Titanic, which I haven’t watched since it originally aired back in 2012.

Now all I ever really remembered from the series apart from the Titanic sinking becuase its the Titanic, was that the miniseries had a high budget, high production, Julian Fellowes of Downton Abbey fame and high expectations which it didn’t live up to ratings and critically wise. But also all I ever remembered all these years was Jenna and Glen’s storyline as Annie and Paolo.

Like this was back when Jenna was Jenna-Louise Coleman and the only thing I had seen her in was her short stint as a student in Waterloo Road, I think that was in 2009? 2010?

So anyway, for the nostalgia for Annie and Paolo and how much I loved them in a short time, and also cause I watched a Laurence Fishburne documentary about the behind the scenes of the Titanic (which made me mad at people).

And I decided that when I was gonna watch this I wasn’t gonna get attached because I know what happens to Annie and Paolo (especially Paolo) and I’m like, I’m older now. I’m not gonna cry.

Wrong!

So 14 year old me only cried once, and that was when Spoiler! A lifeboat picks up Paolo and by the time it goes back to the other lifeboats where Annie is, she realises he’s dead and is like “We we’re gonna get married. I hope he knew that. I hope he knew I loved him”.

2021 me was getting chills in episodes 1 and 2, emotional in episode 3, which had most of the Annie/Paolo scenes so it was just the knowledge. And episode 4, I was a wreck. And this time I was crying over different storylines.

So three times I broke down in the episode.

1) When The Irish dad from Steerage manages to find his little girl (she jumped off a lifeboat onto the ship and left her mother and siblings because she’s afraid of the water and the lifeboat splitting) and he tries to open the gate to go up the stairs because he found her by a stairwell, but he can’t. So he’s like here’s what we are going to do. We are gonna sit here and hug and she’s like what about the water, and he’s like don’t worry about the water.

It was just that moment he realised that he can’t get his daughter out. Cause with him being a man, he probably thought there was a good chance he wouldn’t make it but wanted to make sure his fam did. But the realisation his daughter can’t be saved...I mean I don’t know why he couldn’t get out the way he came from but it was still sad.

2) Barnes/Watson. So they are the servants of a first class family. And Barnes has this affection for Watson, it’s like a playground pull her pigtails kind of affection. And it’s how made sure to find her and save her then gave her and letter of his appreciation. And we don’t see his body, the last we see of him is when the Titanic starts sinking and a lot we’re trying to hold on the collapsible that they wasn’t about to turn in time. But we never see him again but we get Watson reading his letter on the lifeboat where it’s revealed to contain his Will which had been witnessed by two passengers and he’s pretty much given everything to her (not much) and that there’s a small cottage for her father to live in and all he asks is that she thinks of him sometimes.

3) Then as you can guess, anytime Paolo appears and then when Annie finds Paolo and it’s too late. Also his brother Mario survives and I loved the brief relationship we see of the Sandrini brothers but Mario didn’t have a subplot, not like Paolo.

I would watch a spin-off around Annie and Paolo where a Londoner and Italian immigrate to America in the early 20th century, trying to make it big and start a new life. They were both such innocent characters, Paolo with his big dreams, wanting a better life while Annie doesn’t have dreams and is content with what she has and makes the best of a situation.

The miniseries as a whole, isn’t the best telling of the Titanic. There are too many characters and subplots going on and it’s all brief. Plus because it’s a Fellowes piece you have Class issue. Like the problem was the First Class stuff was the weakest stuff and that opened the series. The lowest class stuff (The workers, officers, the Irish family and servants of first class) was more interesting.

Also it was how Fellowes decided to tell the story. So the first three episodes tell the same days (From boarding the ship to hitting the iceberg) but from different perspectives, so the first episode focuses on the First class, the second episode is more Second Class (and a bit of steerage) then the third episode is more Steerage.

So because of this method of storytelling to try and be fresh, it kind of doesn’t work because everything is rushed. Because everyone only gets one episode with significant develop and it takes across 4-5 days and it just feels rushed whereas it could have been paced more across the 4 episodes. Like I would have liked more Annie/Paolo. And they don’t feel rushed even though they meet and Paolo proposes cause you feel like he’s an innocent, naive character, like he feels like he knows she is right for him and doesn’t want to waste time. Then Barnes/Watson they have that backstory and is more what’s between the lines with them. But then you have this romance storyline between the fictional Georgiana and the real life Harry Widener and it falls flat and feels rushed as they are sharing love declarations so quickly. While the subplot with the Steerage Irish wife being so cold to this man in Steerage then later on it’s revealed that it’s because she and him have an attraction and feelings and kiss, it feels very left field and I felt zero chemistry. Plus he turns out to be a cop killer on Wanted posters.

Like for that kind of storytelling with only 4 episodes, there are too many characters to follow. Like it would have probably been better to tell the story with every episode covering a day on the Titanic.

I will say this it did feel a bit more real rewatching that I do watching the James Cameron film in recent times. Cause the 1997 film is kinda lost in the epic romance of Jack and Kate and a lot of fictional characters. But the miniseries, I think the romance and drama is more subdued, the only one that felt a bit off for me was the serial killer and wife of an Irish fam falling in love/being attracted to each other. Like the scenes were they try to get passengers off the titanic and the political power plays, the mistakes made by the Titanic crew in dealing with the disaster as well as preparing for its maiden voyage, and the moment the ship starts to go down the water starts hitting the deck, it felt a bit more realistic and less spectacle than the Cameron film.

And I haven’t rewatched Titanic the film recently but I liked how they addressed the actions of some of the real life people like Ismay jumping on a lifeboat last minute to save himself. Molly Brown and the women taking charge of a lifeboat and turning back for more survivors, Lightoller getting passengers on the boat and trying to get women and children first, and also the mistakes made with the first boat not being full. Him being afraid boats might split. Then when the ship sank the men holding on and climbing on top the overturned collapsible. Jack Thayer and this other guy agreeing to jump and swim to a boat as soon as it starts to sink. And then the Duff-Gordon’s (I believe that’s there name) deciding not to go back to look for more survivors and bribing the sailor and all the people on their half-empty lifeboat with £5 each if they don’t go back. The only one I wasn’t big on was Harry Widener’s rushed romance with a fictional character.

Anyway I’ve gone off. I mentioned to Autymn that I started rewatching it and I think she’s never seen it or heard of it despite claiming to be a period hoe and a Jenna stan. I think after episode 2 I was telling her a bit more about my nostalgia for Annie and Paolo or Desdrini as I’m coining it now (It’s either that or Pannie or Sandmond), and how I know it’s not gonna end well. Then by episode 3 I was recapping why was going on cause she lost it at the serial killer cop killer reveal with one of the characters, and then I was wondering if their was gifs, clips or pics on Tumblr because I wanted to explain how cute they were and how pure Paolo was and how he was too innocent to die. And off I went into the rabbit hole sending them to her and also reblogging it.

Now I’ve gone down that rabbit hole, while it’s great to see Jenna thriving in British TV dramas in more leading roles now and not supporting. I can’t watch anything of Glen’s cause most of his stuff is Italian and not on Netflix etc and a lot of his TV roles are more recurring or guest roles. Not much leading etc. Who knows, maybe if the show was a bigger success, more opportunities might have come out of it.

[theessayist]

Movies that have made me cry like a baby

For a movie buff who’s more inclined to the gruesome thrill of horror flicks and the ingenious narration of crime films, I’m pretty in love with emotional movies. It takes a lot for this ENTJ to shed a tear; even on purpose; and in fact, I can only name a few titles that really got these eyeballs of mine watery. 

I think a major part of the reason why I love emotional movies is that the way that I still get affected by them helps me determine if I still have a moral, empathetic anchor... You know... Somewhere deep down there. It gives me solace. 

Moving on, knowing that I’m not an easy shell to break, I can guarantee that the films I’m about to mention will absolutely tear your heart apart. 

S/N I haven’t watched Miracle in Cell No. 7 or any Frank Darabont masterpiece yet, so if they hit hard enough, I might make another list. 

S/N #2 Animated films will be separated. 

5. Marriage Story (2019) dir. Noah Baumbach 

I’m a 17-year-old single girl living with my perfectly stable parents who love each other so much and I’m happy and eternally grateful for that; but why the hell am I crying?! 

Starting off on our list is a movie that made me cry because of the immense confusion I felt as I watched two exhausted, beautiful humans go through a painful separation when they clearly still love one another. 

I think the main reason why this film made a waterfall out of me is because I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know if I should side on Nicole, since she was the one who made more sacrifices and considerations; or Charlie- since he was the one who was suffering in the ugly end of the stick. It made me feel frustrated and angry in a way that I wanted to push them back together, and at the same time, pull them both apart. 

I’d like to say more- but now I just want to credit Scarlett and Adam for the most heart-wrenching fight scene I have ever endured in all seventeen years of my life.

4. Train to Busan (2016) dir. Yeon Sang Ho 

I watched this Korean zombie horror flick thinking it was going to quench my thirst for some brutal flesh-ripping, blood and gushing gore. I NEVER got tired of zombies- whether in movies, video games or soap operas, I eat that crap up. And so I dived in ravenous as hell, thinking I was gonna get purely that. 

But instead I got a pretty, pregnant woman and her protective husband, an inadvertently neglectful dad and his adorable child, a hobo, and two teenagers my age who’re just as afraid as everyone else would be. 

Oh, and a scumbag whose selfish deeds are so unspeakable I’d rather say ‘Voldemort’. 

Seokwoo didn’t have to smile like that, you know. It’s little contrasting details like that that make emotional scenes so goddamn irresistible. 

This movie got me by surprise- my unsuspecting self who did not expect any tear-jerker was cut up from behind with a father, and an almost-father, sacrificing for the love of their lives. Who doesn’t cry to that kinda stuff? Please cut their chests open and install a heart. 

3. Titanic (1997) dir. James Cameron 

Oh yes, the popular royal tear-jerker, sitting right next to the campus queen bees, The Notebook and A Walk to Remember (to which I didn’t cry, for what it’s worth). As much as I loved the romance that so beautifully blossomed between Jack and Rose, quite frankly I did not cry because the former died. Although that was really sad, too.

You know what gave me a stuffy nose and two red eyes for three days? The other passengers, for gosh’s sake. 

The guy who got shot by the seaman. That seaman who shot himself afterwards. The band who played through the chaos. The maids that drowned in the ballroom trying to look after everyone else. The lone kid in the hallway who could’ve drowned. The mother tucking her children to bed. And most of all, the old couple cuddling each other as water rushed in their room! 

I don’t think I’ve to explain why that subtly painful montage broke my gold-titanium alloy heart. It didn’t help that the lovable Captain Smith chose to sink with his ship, too. 

2. Forrest Gump (1995) dir. Robert Zemeckis 

Before I watched it, I didn’t know what to expect from this movie. But it had Tom Hanks (who, to me at that moment, was purely Sheriff Woody), and I knew it was iconic; so I sat through, thinking it was another one of those great films that was going to bore me. And boy, was I wrong! 

So, unlike all the other films on this list, Forrest Gump actually made me cry in a heart-warming, happy, beautiful way. We watched this guy persevere through the challenges of his universe, we saw the way he rewrote history, we laughed at his utter stupidity, we lamented the come-and-go relationship with Jenny, we grew to love Colonel Dan; everything about it was amazing and touching and the end was just so incredibly satisfying, I didn’t know films could make me happy that much. 

I was just really, really proud of our boy Forrest and how he lived, okay? Leave me alone. 

1. Scent of a Woman (1992) dir. Martin Brest

So, I’m a really big fan of Al Pacino. Why? Because, like I said- crime is my #1 genre. Specifically, organized crime. And who’s the prince of the organized crime genre? You guessed it- this man. He was Jimmy Hoffa. He was Tony Montana. He was Michael Corleone, for crying out loud! 

As a new, young fan, he has established in me the image of a tough, hard-wired man who would stop at absolutely nothing to achieve what he wants. Not morals, not friends, and definitely not family (F stands for Fredo). So what did I expect when he became the blind, eccentric, women-obsessed war veteran Lt. Col. Frank Slade? I had no idea.

That was why it got me so hard- because I was viewing Al play a largely different role. And what’s astonishing about it is that I didn’t see him as Al Pacino. Didn’t see him as a godfather, a union leader, or a drug lord. I saw him as that in-denial old man- washed up, empty, and feeling unwanted for the things he’d brought about in his life. For half the movie, I was admiring every nuance, the clever dialogue, the relationship-building, the philosophical aspects. The other half, I was crying profusely. 

To be specific, I cried four separate times through the two-hour feature; especially during the Ferrari scene. It’s weird I know, but I cried there the most. The film was a very remarkable experience; and all these is why it is my number one pick for a film that will definitely gouge your eyes out. 

I highly recommend all of these features for both lovers and non-lovers of the emotional aspects of film. Even I, as a crime and horror fan, could attest for the fact that these films are not a waste of your fast-paced time. You will be awed.

[stachmousworld]

Punishments (Universe A)

Can also be read as a stand alone.

Summary: Tony tried to protect his baby brother and end up facing his demons. Will this new family be like Howard and Maria or will they sooth his pain?

REMINNDERRR

Two baby siblings: Kareem and Ahmaud.

Two older brothers:Darius (his baby is named after Anthony) and Joseph

One older sister Janice

 Part 1 - Part 3

Tony had playing with some Legos when it happened. First, there was a loud thump, followed by a few seconds of silence before the sound of glass crashing on the wooden floor could be heard from upstairs. He stood still, fear paralyzing each of his limb.

The Legos in each of his hands were now hurting him, but he couldn’t relax nor unclench his fingers around the plastic toys despite the blooming pain. Then, again, a moment of silence followed by some hurried footsteps toward his direction.

As the door opened, his baby brother, Kareem, entered the room, eyes widen in fear and guilt, lips wobbling. His entire little frame was trembling as he tried to repress his tears. Tony slowly opened his arms, not knowing what else to do and let the little one hug him tight. He closed he eyes and breathed in the scent of his baby brother. The Legos finally fell on the floor.

The sound of the baritone voice of their Babbo resonated in the entire house. Tony tightened his arms around his baby brother as terror struck him straight in the chest. He had trouble breathing, everything around was blurry.

“Kareem!” Babbo screamed looking angry, hands on his hips.

The mirrored image of Howard made Tony gulped. He opened his mouth to apologize for his brother but closed it quickly. He couldn’t talk back to Sir. It would have been seen as an insult.

Babbo took a few steps towards them. Tony reacted fast and came in front of his baby brother. His head held high, eyes staring straight into his Babbo’s. Whatever would happen, he wouldn’t let Howard – No - his Babbo do anything to Kar’. He had already taken some hits, Stark men were made of iron after all. He could defend Kar’. Tony was his protector and big brother.

So, he inhaled sharply and braced himself for the hits.

“Tony? What are you doing? And Kareem don’t believe that hiding behind your brother is going to help. You are not avoiding your punishment.”

Tony’s eyes widened in pure fear.

“Don’t Sir. Don’t hurt him. I’ll take his punishment…” The rest ended in inaudible babbles. Tony flinched and took a step back when he felt a hand on his jaw. It was it. He would strike him on the face, like Howard. I can take it…I can take it…

“Tony?”

He shook his head, sniffing hard.

“Kareem, call your mom and tell her it’s about Tony.”

Light footsteps running away. Babbo sighed. “I should have told him not to (a high-pitched yelp echoed in the stairs) run with his socks on. She is going to kill me, for sure.”

Tony flinched, coiling into a fetal position. Memories flashed through his mind, Howard handing him a hot tool, Maria watching with disdain, Howard slapping his face when he cried… his mind fell down the rabbit hole, trapped under the web of years of abuse, sadness, empty love.

Tony felt on his skin all the bruises, cuts, panic attack. All at once. At a certain point, he was sure he could smell burnt skin from his palms, and he screamed as the phantom pain resurfaced.

He wasn’t aware of his mammina’s presence in the room, nor their interaction. His mind came back to the first time he visited his Howard’s lab. Tony had been so thrilled to watch him work and have the possibility to show him his dog robot.

 He will be proud of me, little Tony thought happily. He has to be.

What Tony hadn’t foreseen was his dad’s anger at seeing a perfect functioning dog robot. Jealousy had run through Howard’s veins and he’d lashed out. He had grabbed his hammer and crushed the robot, his booming laughter echoing in the room at Tony’s obvious distress.

Jamie, Tony had named the dog. After the best Howling Commando soldier: James Buchanan Barnes. Tony always had a preference for him instead of Captain America. It scared him to think that Captain America could be friend with his father and would deem Tony as unworthy as his dad thought. Tony didn’t want to think of all the punishments, he’d receive from Captain America. He was so strong and powerful.

So, Tony pretended to not flinch when Howard mentioned Captain America and even faked his enthusiasm at hearing stories about him, but at nighttime, he’d place his captain America bear in his drawer, and would hug his Bucky bear tighter in his arms while sleeping. Bucky would protect him, like he did against the bullies beating down Steve Rogers.

He started crying and sobbing on the floor as he reached for the parts of Andy. The wails of his little dog robots stabbed him in the heart. “I’m sorry, Andy. I’m sorry,” he repeated, his voice growing loudler.

“Stand up, boy, you are pathetic!”

Tony stayed down trying…trying to get all the limbs of Andy. Eyes blurry and hands shaking so badly it took him twice more time to gather everything. Suddenly, Howard snarled and stomped harshly and repeatedly on his hands.

A heart wrenching scream resonated in the room.

“What the hell, Cameron! What have you done?” she whispered.

“I don’t…I swear to God, I didn’t do anything.”

“Think back. I’m sure there was something you did, even unconsciously to terrify him”.

Cameron paced around before stopping. He suddenly turned around and stared straight in his wife’s eyes.

“Punishment. He told me to “hurt him” instead of Kareem”. Cameron lurched forward, gagging. His breathing was getting heavier. “Oh my God, he thought I would- ”

“Babe, calm down. I know it’s difficult, but you need to be there for him. I can’t do it alone. If I take care of him alone…”

“He’ll think I’ll hurt Kar’, and then him.”

“That’s my man. You’ll have to take care of him and talk to him. He needs to see that you are not Howard.”

A whimper came from Tony at the mention of the name. Cameron swore under his breath. his wife took his hands in hers and looked straight in his eyes. “Now go to the bathroom. He’ll need to take a good and hot bath. Be prepared…don’t joke, in his state I’m not sure he’ll understand.”

Cameron steadied himself and walked out. He only turned to witness his wife kneeling on the floor, singing.

 Che bella cosa e' na giornata 'e sole n'aria serena dopo na tempesta! Pe' ll'aria fresca pare già na festa Che bella cosa e' na giornata 'e sole. Tony’s flashback stopped. He was still in his dad’s lab, but the strike never hit its mark. He opened his eyes and saw the figure of Howard looming over him, feet high, eyes gleaming with evilness. He gathered what remained of Andy, cradled it and stepped aside, grimacing at the wet sensation in his pants. New tears appeared. I’m not a baby, I’m not a baby, he sobbed, as he tried to dry his pants, but messing up. Blood was smeared on the fabric.

Ma n'atu sole, cchiù bello, oje ne' 'O sole mio sta 'nfronte a te! 'O sole, 'o sole mio, sta 'nfronte a te! sta 'nfronte a te!

 Tony stood straight and looked wildly around him. He just…there was a voice, singing their song. Mammina, he screamed. Mammina. He ran frantic around the lab looking for her. He only stopped when he noticed Howard moving again. Then Tony started running again, while Howard was chasing him. A scream escaped his mouth as he dodged dangerous tools and blocked all the insults. Tony wasn’t sure he could understand them anyway, with all the blood rushing to his head deafening all background sounds.

Quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenne, me vene quase 'na malincunia; sotto 'a fenesta toia restarria quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenn

 Tony tripped and crawled clumsily away from Howard. A hand gripped his ankle and he lashed out. Howard’s hand slipped away. Tony scrambled to his feet, eyes on Howard who looked menacing. But he wasn’t looking at him. Tony turned around and sighed in relief. Mammina’s body stood still and calm, eyes solely focused on Howard, but her hand on Tony’s shoulder was soft and welcoming. He reached for her side and buried his face in her stomach. She caressed his head and pressed soft kisses on top.

“You can do it Luce dei miei Occhi. He can’t reach you. No more.”

Howards first blow at Mammina went straight through her. Howard staggered and fell through her and Tony as if they were ghosts. Tony looked at her in awed.

“You too can do it, Tesoro. I will never let anyone hurt you in your head. Never.”

His fear melted away at the confidence and love thrumming in his body. As Howard stepped forward to hit him, he passed through him, too. Howard’s face made Tony giggle. He watched Howards hurtling tools in his direction, only to have them go through his body.

“You have the power to do everything, here, Tesoro. Make it your peace.”

Even at his young age, 8 years old, Tony understood her words with the understanding of someone who had lived many years. He nodded.

 The changes were instantaneous. The lab morphed into his room in Mammina’s house. He heard his baby brother giggles and his older sister, Janice, arguing with his older brother, Darius.

Babbo was joking with Mammina while she was cooking.

 Ma n'atu sole, cchiù bello, oje ne' 'O sole mio sta 'nfronte a te! 'O sole, 'o sole mio, sta 'nfronte a te! sta 'nfronte a te!

 Tony came back to himself exhausted. He couldn’t move one limb and didn’t want to. The flowery perfume of Mammina was too calming, her warmth and strength allowed him to be loved, freely. Mammina had never judged him for making mistakes or taking her time. She always was happy to see him. Like his brothers and sister. Weirdly enough, they seemed to have taken a liking in him and yet never expected anything from him.

Tony stayed on her chest, as she sang again and again, their song. Soon enough he could hear Janice, Yanick and even Kareem’s voice singing to him.

“My baby, it is time for you to open your eyes,” She murmured softly.

He shook his head, pressing it deeper into her cleavage.

“Don’t you want to take a good bath, with your toys. I’ll prepare a good hot chocolate with cinnamon, Chantilly and Speculoos, with a dash of caramel, and some cookies with big chunks of dark chocolate.”

Tony almost jumped out of her embrace to run to the bathroom with a renewed energy. Only now, he remembered his misadventure. He had peed on himself. Flushing heavily, he tried to hide, only to be scooped up by Darius. He stopped moving and hid his head in the crook of his neck.

“It’s nothing Tonio. We all had accidents; it happens. Not to me of course, I’m a man (his mom and Janice snickered) but. You should ask Janice about yesterday.”

“Hey!” Janice screamed indignantly. “It was an accident and you promised to never talk about it.”

“Put your pride aside, baby girl. You wouldn’t want me to tell your little c-r-u-s-h about it.”

A furious growled erupted from the 13 year-old-girl. Darius took his cue and walked briskly to the bathroom. Kareem laughed encouraging him to go faster. He opened the bathroom door and closed it on Janice face. The last thing they saw was her red face. Darius made a grimace, which should resemble Janice, took a high-pitched voice and reenact the previous scene. Tony giggled softly head still in Darius neck.

“Do I even want to know?” Cameron asked, looking tired.

“Nope. Anyway, I did my job and delivered a grumpy Tonio. Mom said she’d bake some cookies and a hot choco (Cameron whooped) for him”.

“Meh. I’ll send Janice negotiate with your mom.”

Darius looked away. Cameron sighed. He scratched he beard as he thought.

“What about Kareem? No. He is too small, and your mom has him controlled. What about you?”

“I’m still grounded.”

Cameron threw his hands in the air and grumbled.

“I have 4 kids…” He stopped in his tracks. “4 kids.” He repeated slower.

Darius shook his head, recognizing the usual shenanigans being set in place in his dad’s head. His faith in his own abilities were quite impressive, if nor a little concerning. He never succeeded when it came to their mom. She always found out.

Tony whimpered in his arms and tightened his legs around his hips. Cameron stopped rambling and glanced sadly at him. He walked slow and loud towards them, enough for Tony to hear him, and avoid any panic attack like earlier. He shivered at the thought. He prayed to never be as hopeless.

“Tonio, can you look at me?” Cameron said with a low voice.

“No.”

“Ok. Why do you not want to look at me?”

“Hurt me…”

Darius eyebrows rose to his hairline. Hurt him? One look at his dad confirmed the suspicions he also had. He kissed Tony’s head and whispered to his ear.

“Tonio, you know that I would never hurt you, nor lie to you, right?”

Silence.

“Dad had never hurt me. He had never hit me. He may raise his voice, but never to insult. He is not like that.”

He let Tony mulled over what he said. Until a tiny voice replied. “Why Kar’ looked afraid?”

Cameron rolled his eyes amused.

“He knows Dad told him not to run in the house with his socks. He was afraid because he’d get grounded, like me. No TV, no games and no protests for naps. Even though I’d like to have naps, mom won’t let me get one,” Darius finished pouting.

“Oh please, you wake up at 10am every day, you don’t need a nap.”

“Lies and Slander! My days are productive, thank you very much, and I need a nap.”

“Productive? You are on vacation. You don’t have to do anything. And if you want that nap, I’ll talk to your mom.”

“So, no nap for me.” Darius concluded dramatically.

“What is with you and the lack of respect! I can make your mom agree with me.”

Darius snickered. “You can…what?”  He scoffed. “When mom is going to know about you ‘making her do stuff…”

Tony was now fully relaxed. He giggled at the interaction, head peeking out of his brother’s neck.

“Sorry, Tonio, but mom needs to know about that.”

Darius put Tony down and rushed outside. Cameron screamed after him, only stopping when his wife’s voice was heard.

“He told you what! Cameron Benedict Jones!” She yelled from downstairs. He stayed stuck for a second before jumping in action. He closed the door and rushed towards Tony.

“Tonio, if you love me, you’ll get into the bathtub as quick as possible.”

His panicked face may have been what sent Tony into full joyful laughter. Cameron didn’t stop to enjoy his little boy happiness and helped Tony out of his pants and shirt. Once fully naked, he scooped him and placed him slowly in the bathtub. At the same time, the door opened violently.

Cameron forced himself to stay calm and moved normally. As normal as he could considering the breathing dragon in his back and his boy mocking him in front of him.

“Hey dear! We were just having fun.” He said, his voice trembling.

Tony laughter was still ringing in the room. Cameron craned his neck and glanced behind himself. His wife’s small frame was trembling. A few snorts escaped her mouth.

“Hey! Not you, too! First Tony, then Darius, and you, my wife!” He yelled, indignant.

Tony hid his face in the foam of the bath. Cameron let himself smile and relax a bit.

“You are really too easy to frighten, my precious husband. But I won’t forget what you said to Darius.” She finished in an ominous voice. Cameron gulped. She walked toward them, leaned to kiss Tony foamy face, then kissed Darius softly on the forehead.

“I never forget.” She muttered, before leaving.

The fun didn’t last long. A few minutes later, Tony was again nonverbal. He didn’t even try to play with the toys anymore and instead was gathering some bubbles around him. Cameron refrain himself from sighing. Really, why did he have to be the one to do that? He wasn’t even good at speeches like his wife and he tended to say the wrong things. And with his anger simmering under his skin, itching him to beat the hell out of Howard, he didn’t know if he’d be able to stay diplomatic. The bloody face of Howard passed his mine. He rejoiced in it. Darius would do it. He’d kill Howard. Jailtime or not. It would be worth it.

“Tony? Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?”

“No.”

Well, what a start.

“Tonio, we have to talk about it, you know it. You’ve seen us resolving conflicts before. That’s what family does.”

“You are not my family.” He said sadly. Cameron ignored the pang of pain in his chest that vehemently contradicted what Tony just said. He helped Tony out of the bath, drained the water and grabbed fuzzy towels. He wrapped his little boy in them and then squeezed him in his arms.

“Blood doesn’t make family. I was adopted. My parents died when I was a toddler and I had the chance to find a good family. Like you too. I know it is not the same, you still have Howard and Maria (He praised himself for not spiting their names. His wife would be impressed that’s for sure.) but we can be your adoptive family. Plus, you spent most of the year with us, anyway.”

Cameron kissed the top of Tony’s head and felt tiny arms around his neck, embracing him tightly. My precious boy, Cameron thought, cooing internally. Now came the hardest question.

“What were you really afraid of?”

Tony tapped his fingers on Cameron’s shoulder. He didn’t reply.

“Tonio, you scared me – us, earlier. I thought we’d have to go to the hospital. You really scared me within an inch of my life. I know that I did something to hurt you, and I wish to know what, so I won’t do it again.”

“When Howard is mad he…he raised his hand to punish me. I thought you’d the same to Kareem. But I’m his big brother and I’m supposed to be his protector,” he said firmly. “I did it because I wish someone would do that for me. But…I’m too weak. I could have never protected K’. You didn’t even hit me that I was ran away.”

Cameron bit his lips and closed his eyes tightly. His heart broke at Tony’s words and his hatred for Howard swelled up.

“I don’t want to hear those words out of your mouth, Tony.”

He unwrapped Tony’s arms from around him and cupped his tiny, red face. “Tonio, what you did was selfless. You fought your own fears, putting yourself in danger to protect someone smaller and more fragile than you. You were ready to get punished for him and jumped to his defense straight away. You did great. But…I’m not Howard, Tonio. I will never hit you. I never hit any of my children and will never. It disgusts and pained me to think that Howard could do that to you.” Tony opened his mouth probably to deflect the praise. Cameron shushed him.” No matter the reasons. It is not legal and normal for a parent to beat their children.”

Tony’s eyebrows were furrowed. Cameron let him mull over what he just said. He knew it would take more than few words to prove it to him, but they, as he entire family, would do everything to allow him a somewhat normal childhood.

As he watched Tony’s face transform under various emotions to settle on hopeful, he let the little bubble of love grow in his heart.

Everything would be okay. They’d make sure of that.

 (What a beautiful thing is a sunny day,

The air is serene after a storm!

The air is so fresh that it already feels like a celebration.

What a beautiful thing is a sunny day!

 But another sun, even more beautiful, oh my sweetheart,

My own sun shines from your face!

This sun, my own sun!

Shines from your face; it shines from your face.

 When night comes and the sun has gone down,

I almost start feeling melancholic; I’d stay below your window.

When night comes and the sun has gone down.

 Created by Alfredo Mazzuchi, but mostly known thanks to di Capua

Mother masterrliiiisssstt ✨✨✨🐱‍🏍

[shockapella-sweet]

Are you still doing the ship meme? If so, how about FaradayCage aka $500ElectricBill aka Raiden/Johnny Cage? Strange but I wanna know your thoughts. And yes i put effort into the ship names 😂😂😂

Lord above, how is it that I’m only getting to this meme now? :O Sorry for the hectically long wait! But yep, Nonny, you definitely put a lot of effort into the ship names (that last one, yeeeesh). X3 Let’s get into this:

Who cries when someone dies in a movie – Johnny, especially when he’s rewatching his flicks: it’s a combo of him getting invested in his character and the film plot, and getting emotional over his “wonderful” performance when his character bites the dust. A bemused/done Raiden is there to be his pillow to cry into, basically.

Who wears the ugly holiday garb – Johnny, oh so much. He’s super into the festive season, ugly sweaters and all. Expect him to coerce Raididdy into wearing sweaters with something like Christmas trees on them, with the words “Get lit” beneath it.

Who pays for the meals – It’s automatically JC. He will break the bank in order to treat Raididdy to the finest meals in the VIP sections at top-of-the-range restaurants. ‘Sides, I don’t even think Zeus Daddy carries cash.

Who slams the oven door and who plays the trombone – Johnny will play the trombone, and a weary Raididdy will play a ditty on the oven door. It’s probably at this point that the Thunder God is wondering why he’s dating an Earthrealmer in the first place …

Who brings home stray animals – “*Sigh* Johnny, why did you bring this cat here?” “Because the Sky Temple’s a thousand times’ bigger than my apartment, and you don’t have a nasty landlord pushing an anti-pet policy.” “Yes, but this is the third cat you’ve brought here this month –” “You can never have enough pussy-poos, bubba. Love ya, byyyeeee.”  

Who leaves the bathroom door open – Neither … unless JC leaves it open intentionally so that Raiden can get an eyeful as the actor undresses for his shower.

Who tells the ‘dad jokes’ – … I mean, we all know it’s Johnny, right? X’D Either Raiden doesn’t get them, or he does (and when he does, he’s left in an inner pile of cringe for days).

Who wants kids more – Raiden’s happy enough to be a step-father to Cassie, plus he’s content with being a fatherly figure to Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Kung Jin, etc. Johnny, on the other hand, wouldn’t mind having another child (I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s considered surrogacy or adoption). Watch this space. ;)

Who travels more – Both. As Earthrealm’s guardian, Raiden travels between the various realms to make sure peace relations are maintained. He also travels a fair bit to the Wu Shi Academy and to S-F HQ for similar purposes, as well as to catch up with friends and allies. JC’s job with SF also keeps him on the go around the world and beyond … not to mention his ol’ acting hustle takes him all over the show.

Who spends more cash – Johnny, duh. Again, Raididdy doesn’t carry cash. Heck, he probably doesn’t have or need any.

Who buys the things in infomercials – “Raiden, I’ve got us a pair of identical Snuggies so we can totally twin it out! And you’ve got to see this Hawaii Chair that I bought – think of how much fun we’ll have sitting on it! Well, you sitting on it, and me on you. Or reverse. We’ll take turns.” Yeah, even Raiden prays for divine intervention when JC goes on these informercial shopping sprees.

Who draws in the dust on their cars – Neither. Johnny never lets a speck of dust grace any of his cars in his collection. As for Raiden, he’d rather not get dust on himself.

Who starts the snowball fights – What’s a great way to loosen up an uptight Thunder God? By chucking a snowball at him, of course! At least, that’s JC’s perspective. Oh, how he pays for it when Raiden gets into these fights.

Who throws away the directions to things – Johnny: “The only time  that I need directions is when I’m on-set with James friggin’ Cameron, a multi-camera crew and a masseur.” Oh, the amount of times Fujin has heard Raiden griping about his man’s inability to follow directions (and the inevitable failures that come with ‘em).

Who puts up holiday decor – Both. Johnny has always been the one to put up holiday displays and decorations, especially back in the day with Sonya and Cassie. Now, he goes absolutely mad in decorating a place like the Sky Temple for occasions like Christmas or Halloween. Raiden, who’s well aware of Earthrealm’s various customs and traditions – and appreciates their purposes, namely how they bring family and friends together – also plays his part in putting up decorations. Besides, he knows how much these occasions/decorating practices mean to Johnny.

Who is more likely to forget to bathe – Neither. They keep it clean, these two.

Who gets more obsessed about things – Raiden. He’s very thingy and strict about things in general. As for JC, he’s the opposite (unless you count the informercial shopping sprees).

Who sings in the shower more often – Johnny, duh times two. From mainstream songs and classic tunes to making up his own ditties, he will belt it out as if he’s Mariah Carey herself. Raiden appreciates the, uh, effort.

And that’s the last shipping meme done! I hope, Nonny, that you found the answers decent, even though I made you wait 50+ years for them. Thank you for your patience. ^3^

[dolantwinsfavss]

Dreaming of You Part 4 {g.d}

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 // Masterlist

Some how you managed to gather up the strength to make it to your bedroom but the second you made it to the foot of your bed and looked at the picture of you and Grayson on the night stand, that’s when you felt your world completely fall apart. You grabbed the picture and held it close to your chest as you sat on the floor, continuing to cry your eyes out. The words “I can’t be friends with you anymore” kept playing over and over again in your head in the endless loop as if it was haunting you. 

You told your best friend you loved him and he rejected you. He didn’t even want to continue to try to be friends. He didn’t say it was going to be okay. He didn’t tell you he loved you back. He cut you out of his life. He simply gave up. He was never going to be yours and you were never going to be his. There was nothing left to hold onto. Nothing would ever be the same. You lost him forever. 

“Y/N?” you heard a voice say followed by a soft knock at your door. “It’s me, Ethan.”

He carefully sat beside you and set the picture back onto your nightstand, and pulled you into his arms, rubbing his hand up and down your back soothingly as you cried into his chest. 

“H-He doesn’t love me, Ethan. I told Grayson I loved him and he said we couldn’t be f-friends anymore.” You said in between sobs. “I lost him. I lost my best friend.”

Ethan knew how much you loved and cared for his younger brother but seeing you like this broke his heart. He always saw you as someone who made the world a better place and could make anyone smile. Someone who was always there for him and Grayson. Someone who was always so strong, yet always cared and loved others so dearly, especially towards Grayson. But now, all he saw was someone who was broken.

“It hurts so much, E. My heart literally hurts. Please. Please make it stop.” You begged him as you physically felt the pain in your chest beginning to consume you while gripping onto the fabric of Ethan’s shirt even tighter.

“Shhh...it’s okay. I know it hurts and it’s going to hurt for a while. I know I can’t do or say anything that will help take this pain away but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I will stay by your side no matter what. Please know that you’re not alone.” He said kissing the top of your head.

“But what about Grayson? He’s your brother. You can’t leave him.” You said as you began to calm down.

Ethan pulled away and cupped your cheeks so you would look at him. “Listen to me, Y/N.” When he looked into your eyes, he couldn’t see the sparkle in your eyes anymore, all he saw was pain. “Even if Grayson is my brother, you’re one of my best friends and I am never going to leave you, okay? Grayson is an idiot for not realizing what he’s losing. But when I’m telling you that he loves you, he truly do-“

“But he gave her the necklace, E.“ You said with a quiet yet pain-filled voice. Ethan knew about the necklace a few weeks before Grayson gave it to you because that’s what Grayson could ever talked about and he was even with him with Grayson picked it out.

“I know. I know.” Ethan said, slightly shaking his head at his brother who acted so stupidly. “But he does love you. I’ve never seen that boy so happy unless he’s with you. Whenever he just looks at you, he has this sparkle to his eyes that is so obvious to everyone around him, even my parents. And he never stops talking about you because he always has so much to say. You’re the first person he wants to talk to when he gets excited about something and when he’s upset, you’re the only person he wants to talk to. And when you’re upset, he drops everything just to make sure you’re okay. Grayson loves you, Y/N. He’s in love with you. He just doesn’t know it yet. You have a piece of his heart, and honestly, I think you always will.”

“No... he doesn’t, E. He literally told me he doesn’t want to be friends anymore. If he can’t even handle being friends then... I guess I’m nothing to him. Grayson could never love me.” You said as a tear rolled down your cheek.

“Just give him sometime. He does love you, even if he doesn’t realize it now. I’ve never seen two people more perfect for each other. You’re going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay. I promise.” Ethan said with so much care in his voice, wiping the tear away with his thumb.

“Promise?” You said, truly hoping Ethan was right.

“Promise.” Ethan said leaning in and kissing your forehead, meaning every word he said before. Eventually, you fell asleep in his arms, putting an end to a very long night you wished never happened.

For the next few weeks, you started focusing on yourself as much as possible and honestly, you felt yourself becoming happier. It was hard at first but James, Emma, and mostly Ethan helped you along the way. However, you couldn’t say that Grayson never crossed your mind, because that would be a lie.

The four of you were at the twin’s house while Grayson was out, it was the only time you felt comfortable in their house. As the four of you were talking about new video ideas to film, you sat next to Ethan with his arm around your shoulder on one side of the couch while James and Emma sat on the other end. But some how the conversation turned to the topic of you and Grayson.

“How are you doing, Y/N? Have you talked to Grayson?” Emma hesitantly asked, hoping it was okay to ask, while earning a light slap on the arm from James.

“Emma.” Ethan hissed beside you, knowing it was a sensitive topic you had barely spoken to Ethan about since that night.

“Ethan, it’s okay.” You said putting your hand over his to calm him down. “Um I haven’t talked to him and I don’t think I want to. To be honest, I don’t think we’re ever going to be able to be friends again.”

“What are you doing here?” All of your eyes turned to the deep voice which echoed across the room that only belonged to Grayson. You knew his voice by heart, you could pick out his voice in a sea of people. It didn’t matter where you were or who you were with, it was always Grayson. But right now, the words couldn’t come out of your mouth. They wouldn’t.

“I invited her here and she’s my friend. And if you have a problem with that then you can leave.” Ethan said quickly standing up to defend you, walking towards his brother with clenched fists making his knuckles turn white.

“It’s my house. And besides Y/N is my friend too. Oh wait... I mean was.” Grayson said with no remorse in his voice. To you, he seemed as if had truly meant it. You couldn’t look him the eyes, knowing if you did, you would break  right then and there. “What? Y/N can’t stand up for herself and needs her boyfriend to do it? Did she tell you she loves you too?”

You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. This wasn’t the Grayson you were best friends with. This wasn’t the Grayson you fell in love with. This was the Grayson you wanted to hate.

“Shut the hell up Gray! You have no idea what you’re talking about. Get your head out of your ass and stop being such a fucking dick!” Ethan shouted at his brother, face turning red as he began to raise his fists but you got up and stopped him before anything could happen.

You put yourself between the two brothers, pushing Ethan back and putting your hand on his cheek to make him look at you. “Ethan, it’s okay. He’s not worth it.” He knew just by the look in your eyes that fighting with Grayson wasn’t going to make things better. You gave him a small smile of reassurance before grabbing your things and turning towards Grayson.

“Just a reminder, you’re the one who said we shouldn’t be friends anymore. So just please leave me alone.” You said as your voice cracked and a tear fell down your cheek, quickly wiping it away as you walked away so Grayson couldn’t see, but he saw. He saw the pain in your eyes. The pain he caused.

Throughout the rest of the day, you ignored the calls and text messages from the rest of the group who were constantly asking if you were okay. You didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even Ethan. You thought to yourself, How could things get this bad? Why can’t things be normal again?

*flashback*

Last year, after the twins’ birthday on the beach, the twins begged you to go back home to New Jersey with them, so you to spent a few days with them and their family before the holidays.

It was your last night at the Dolan’s and while all of you were eating dinner and telling each other childhood stories, Lisa asked you, “So Y/N how long have you and Grayson been together?”

Both you and Grayson nearly started choking, shocked at the fact this whole time his mom thought you two were together while Ethan sat there laughing.

“I-um. W-Were um not together.” You said clearing the air.

“Oh you aren’t? I swear this whole time your mother and I thought the two of you were a couple.” Sean said, who was shocked himself.

“I promise you guys we are just friends.” Grayson said, pushing the food around his plate.

“Yeah. Just friends.” You said looking over to him and then at his parents, giving then a reassuring smile you were sure they didn’t believe.

After dinner you helped the twins’ mom and Cameron clean up while the boys went outside with their dad.

“I’m sorry for bringing up what I said about you and Grayson, Y/N. After seeing you guys together these past few days, I just thought you guys were a couple and Grayson just didn’t tell us yet.” Lisa said feeling guilty.

“No it’s honestly okay. Don’t worry about it. People always assume that we’re a couple anyways but we’re just friends.” You said while washing some dishes.

“But are you though?” Cameron asked while wiping down the table.

“What do you mean?” You asked with a confused look on your face, pretending not to know what she was talking about.

“Listen, Y/N. I know that you and Grayson say you are just friends but I’ve seen the way you two look at each other and the way you two act when you’re together, there’s something there. It reminds me of when Sean and I before we started dating and look where we are now, someday that might be you and Grayson.” Lisa said with a smile on her face, reminiscing the memories of her and her husband.

“My mom’s right. There’s something between you two and even if you can’t see it now, it’ll come around. Grayson doesn’t tell me much about his love life, but this is something he doesn’t need to say out loud to be seen.” Cameron said giving you a sly wink that made you chuckle.

“Trust me when I say that I’ve never seen Grayson more happier than he is with you. You bring something out of him that sometimes it’s hard to get out of him when he’s home. The second you walk into the room, that boy already has a smile on his face and there’s a sparkle in his eyes. But the question is if you have feelings for him.” Lisa said right as the boys walked in from their trip with their dad. 

You looked at Grayson and Lisa was right. There he was. You couldn’t help but smile at the boy who was smiling right back at you.

Throughout the whole night you spent lying awake, thinking about what Lisa and Cameron had said after dinner. So you got out of bed, wrapped yourself in a blanket, and walked out to the backyard porch to escape your late night thoughts.

“Hey... what are you doing out here all alone?” Grayson said while handing you a cup of hot chocolate as you both leaned against the wooden frame for support.

“I could ask you the same thing and thanks.” You said back teasingly before drinking some of the hot chocolate he brought you.

“Just couldn’t stop thinking.” Grayson said looking up at the stars and then down at you. 

“Same.” You said avoiding contact with him, knowing you couldn’t tell him what you were thinking about.

“That necklace looks good on you.” He said with a sight chuckle to lighten the mood.

“Oh does it? I wasn’t really sure about it. I got it from some random guy. He seemed nice though.” You said back teasingly.

You two stood in silence under the moonlight, drinking your hot chocolate and enjoying each other’s company when suddenly you felt snow begin to fall.

“Dance with me.” Grayson said turning towards you, setting down his cup and holding out his hand for you to take.

“Grayson are you crazy? It’s starting to snow! Plus there’s no music and I’m freezing!” You said pulling the blanket closer to you.

He took your cup and your blanket set it beside his cup before taking off his jacket and putting it on you. “Here.”

“Grayson! Take your jacket back! You’re going to freeze!” You said beginning to take off his jacket.

“Stop it. I’m fine. Now will you please just dance with me?” He said with a big grin on his face and holding out his hand again.

You hesitantly looked back and forth between his hand and his eyes before taking his hand. Even if it was below 40 degrees Fahrenheit, Grayson still managed to keep you warm. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist, your ear perfectly against his chest so you could hear his heartbeat. 

A few moments later, Grayson started humming the words to “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. “That’s my favorite song.” You said smiling to yourself.

“Don’t you think I know that? You play it every single time we’re in the car together and replay it again when it’s over. I practically have the lyrics burned into my brain because of you and besides it’s a good song.” He said chuckling to himself as you two continued to sway back and forth.

“My parents love you, you know?” Grayson said out of the blue but what he had said made your smile grow even bigger. “They told me after the first night they met you. They think you’re amazing.”

“They do?”

“Of course they do. Why wouldn’t they? But I was thinking about what they said at dinner and I wanted to ask,” He said nervously playing with his fingers behind your back. “Have you ever thought about us actually being together as a couple?”

You didn’t know how to answer him. You never really thought about it until after what Lisa and Cameron said to you after dinner that night but that did not mean there was a small part of you that knew and hoped there would be something more.

“Yeah I have. Have you?” You whispered even though it was just the two of you.

It took him a while to answer but eventually he whispered, “Yeah... All of the time.” 

You looked up at him and to your surprise he was already looking at you with a smile on his face, but this time was different. You saw the sparkle in his eyes that Lisa mentioned to you earlier. Maybe this was the moment you finally felt your heart skip a beat and your breath become hitched. Maybe this was the moment you realized how much you cared for him. Or maybe it was all of the other moments like this from the very beginning of your friendship. Or maybe it was now you finally realized you were falling in love with your best friend.

*end of flashback*

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing, it was Ethan. You hesitantly answered knowing that if the boys called you later than 12 AM, they needed you.

“Hello? Are you okay, Ethan?” You asked, hoping it was just a phone call where he wanted to talk about his thoughts.

“Y/N! Thank god you answered. I’m fine but it’s Gray.” Ethan said on the other line and you felt your heart drop at the sound of his name.

“Ethan... He made his feelings about me really clear. I don’t think he needs me anymore.” You said as much as it killed you inside to say that.

“No no no. You have to listen to me. He’s having a really bad panic attack and I-I don’t know what to do. I-I’ve tried everything and I’m getting really worried. It’s never been this bad. J-Just please please come! I know what he said but right now your best friend needs you. Y/N pl-” Ethan said with a shaky voice. Before Ethan could finish, you were already out the door, driving to their house as fast as you could. Being friends with Grayson these past four years taught you that even though Grayson puts up this image of what society expects him to be, behind that is a boy who often gets lost in his own thoughts and is hurting inside.

When you arrived at the twins’ house, Ethan was in tears as he held the front door for you. You pulled him into a hug because even though Ethan had this “tough guy” image, you knew that when he couldn’t help Grayson, Ethan feels like he’s the biggest failure. It hurt you to see him like this and you knew how much Ethan hated seeing his brother in so much pain but couldn’t do anything to help. “He’s going to be okay, Ethan. And so are you. I’m here now, It’s going to be okay.” You whispered into his ear as he tightly held onto you until he calmed down and thanked you for being there. But you still had yet to see the younger twin.

“W-where is he? Where’s Grayson?” You said pulling away from Ethan, frantically beginning to search for Grayson.

“H-He’s in his room. He won’t come out, I’ve tried.” Ethan said putting his head in his hands.

“Ethan. He’s going to be okay. Just go to your room and go to sleep okay? I’ll see you later.” You said putting a hand on his cheek to make him look at you before walking to Grayson’s room as Ethan walked to his own and shut the door.

You stood behind the closed door that separated you between you and the boy your heart ached for. Contemplating if this was even the right choice, if he even wanted to see you. Your brain was telling you to leave and spare the pain, but your heart said the answer you wanted to avoid. As much as it hurt you to be there, going into that room could change everything. But even if he said he didn’t want to be friends anymore, you knew in your heart that Grayson needed you. 

You took a deep breath and softly knocking on the door before opening it and whispering, “Gray?” 

@dolanchamberlain @thetallassgirl @ohmysxries @faithondolans @skarsbill @skyarya @chokemedxlan @dazedsabs @5sausefandom @daddygrethansbitch @dobriksslut @mamasnicks @falling-solar-system @shutupharryy @sweet-dolans @arrantsnowdrop @godlydolans @anotherdolanblog @grayson-dolans-dangly-earring @kayanatuh @graydolan12 @blackpinkdolan @dontbotherhoney @allirose7 @dolans-lover @frxdweaslxy @joycelovedorial @instantlycolorfulfan @jerseygrayson @dolxnbabies @historyheart @emilielskov @mysecretsaremydemons @graybaileydolxn @theoldestofsouls @peacedolantwins @godlydolans @ohmydolanz @thinkaboutdolan @lexieslist @sweetsndsassydolans @poiseturquoise @mytearsareescapingmyeyes @i-create-my-own-destiny

[theburningbright]

XAVIER DOLAN By Jessica Chastain (interview magazine)

When Xavier Dolan presented his first directorial effort, I Killed My Mother—an autobiographical psychodrama about an unruly teenager and his teetering, at-wit’s-end mother—at the Cannes Film Festival in 2009, he had just turned 20. The film received an eight-minute standing ovation, and the labels subsequently affixed to the now 25-year-old Québécois writer, filmmaker, and actor-wunderkind, enfant terrible—certainly spoke to Dolan’s precocious emerging voice. But in the past five years (and with four more feature films), he’s put together a body of work and a distinct point of view that might just make him contemporary cinema’s next great hope.

The stories he’s told—a pair of best friends falling in love with the same man (Heartbeats, 2010); a transgender woman and her partner coming to terms with her choice to transition (Laurence Anyways, 2012); a twentysomething menaced by the brother of his dead boyfriend (Tom at the Farm, 2013); and his latest film, Mommy, a scrappy widow and her troubled son fighting against the world for self-preservation—examine the intimate experiences of characters typically beyond the range of quote-unquote normalcy, moving toward emotional or revelatory catharsis.

Last year at Cannes, Dolan’s film won the Jury Prize (an honor he shared with Jean-Luc Godard), but it wasn’t just the jury who was impressed. Jessica Chastain, who saw the film at the festival, reached out to Dolan via Twitter, and not only have they embarked on a friendship, Chastain will star in Dolan’s first English-language feature, the upcoming showbiz drama The Death and Life of John F. Donovan.

View Full Images

View Full Images

In late November, while she was on a brief break from promoting her film Interstellar, Chastain phoned Dolan at his home in Montreal to talk about growing up among women, the intoxicating power of James Cameron, and Mommy, Canada’s entry for the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar.

JESSICA CHASTAIN: Hi, sweetheart! This is the first time I’ve ever been on this side of an interview. The first time we properly met was in New York, but I saw Mommy at the Cannes Film Festival this year and I was so blown away. I tweeted, not even really expecting anything, how much I loved the film, and then you and I had a very funny exchange.

XAVIER DOLAN: Should we have a recollection of that?

CHASTAIN: I think people should know how charming you are. I think we should tell them, first of all, that you’re my beard. Is that correct?

DOLAN: [laughs] There’s an awards season coming, and if I’m a part of it, I’m going to need a beard!

CHASTAIN: If you ask me, I am there for you, babe, 100 percent, but you have to take me to dinner first. Do you remember the video you sent me?

DOLAN: Celine Dion—is that it? I first sent you “Take You” by Justin Bieber, and then I deleted it because I was ashamed. How provincial of me, to send you our national treasure. Justin Bieber, Celine Dion—generations of Canadian national gems.

CHASTAIN: You wooed me with Justin Bieber, and so now I am forever your beard, my friend. [laughs] Okay. So where were you born?

DOLAN: I was born in Montreal at the Children’s Hospital. It sounds very cute, but that’s the actual name.

CHASTAIN: Did you grow up in an artist household?

DOLAN: My dad sort of did everything. He’s a musician, a composer, an actor—he’s an artist in all possible ways. He drew and painted—he still does. But even though he was composing his music, they were pop songs, like “Take You.” [both laugh] Not the same budget, though. My parents divorced when I was very young. My mother moved to a faraway land—suburban Montreal. I was brought up in a mainstream environment, culturally speaking. I watched all the kids films—Matilda [1996], Jumanji [1995], Home Alone[1990].

CHASTAIN: What brought you to acting?

DOLAN: My aunt Julie was a production manager and she heard of an opening. Some show was looking for children to run around the house or whatever. I auditioned and got the part, and I showed up in all of my monstrous energy, bouncing everywhere like an electron. I loved the experience, and I think it was important to my mom because she watches every show on TV, like 20 of them, and records with her VHS—yes, that’s correct, VHS. Anyway, sorry, I got lost on my mom again. I digress on my mom. Then I just started auditioning for commercials and shows and films. I got a part in a package of commercials for this big drugstore, from the age of 6 to 10. For four years I shot those commercials and old ladies would stop me on the street and grab my cheeks. That’s how it started.

CHASTAIN: So you digress to your mother. [laughs] It’s interesting going through your films—I want to know how much of it is autobiographical. You were just talking about your mother recording television shows. In your films, the television is an obstacle for bonding between a parent and a child. Is that something you directly took from your life?

DOLAN: In what movies have you noticed that?

CHASTAIN: Laurence Anyways and I Killed My Mother.

DOLAN: You’ve seen I Killed My Mother?

CHASTAIN: Of course, honey! I do my research.

DOLAN: [laughs] Well, I’m very flattered that you would research. When, at night? [laughs] How very extrastellar of you to watch these. Well, you’re right. I Killed My Mother is autobiographical. I would say the percentage of accuracy is 250 percent. I’m kidding—it’s, like, 240. The other films aren’t really. I’m very far from Laurence Anyways. I haven’t experienced heterosexual love and then a gender switch. I haven’t been held hostage like Tom is in Tom at the Farm. I haven’t lived any of these things, but every character is very personal because there’s a lot of me in their anger, their loneliness, and in their rage against society, against people who ostracize people who are different. Even the characters that seem so far away intellectually or socially, for me, when they speak, it will always be my words. There’s a lot of my mom in these characters because you write characters with the things that you’ve watched. As an actor, I’ve been recording forever. I’m a watcher. I’m a stalker. I love everything about people: the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they cry, the way their mouth is distorted whenever they do this or say that. It’s always been a passion for me to observe.

I’ve been recording forever. I’m a watcher. I’m a stalker. I love everything about people . . . It’s always been a passion for me to observe. Xavier Dolan

CHASTAIN: You started acting when you were 4. What brought you to writing and directing?

DOLAN: I always wrote. I’ve written stories since I was 9. We didn’t have a computer at home, but my aunt Magda had one. Whenever I’d go to her place, I was in the basement working on her computer, writing stories. Then I would save them on a … Fuck, what would you call these? They’re so gone right now.

CHASTAIN: Floppy disks?

DOLAN: Exactly! Yes. [both laugh] Floppy disk. I love you for bringing the words to my illiterate mouth.

CHASTAIN: Stop it! You have to remind everyone that this is not your native tongue.

DOLAN: My first language is French. I just love words so much, and in French it feels like I can say whatever I want however I want. In English I feel like I’ve got some words … [laughs] It often feels like I’m lacking the precise term, and it’s really annoying to me. So I would save these stories on a floppy disk until the next time I would go to my aunt’s, when I could continue to write the story of guardian angels sent to Earth to protect the mere mortals.

CHASTAIN: Oh my gosh.

DOLAN: That was the sort of stories that I would write, called The Indispensables or whatever else. There was one called Pink Wings. It was very, very gay. There were always angels.

CHASTAIN: How old were you when you wrote this? You’re saying it was pretty gay—at that time, did you actually know that you were?

DOLAN: I think I always knew. But, then, I didn’t know. I had girlfriends when I was young. [laughs] I was a crazy child. It was such a special childhood. When I was 8, I saw Titanic [1997] with my mom—I rarely went to the movies with my mom—and then we saw Finding Nemo [2003]. One day she brought me to see As Good as It Gets [1997], and I was pretending I was going to the bathroom when I was actually watching Titanic again in another room. When we saw the movie, it transformed my childhood into something else. I was a dreamy kid, and I was dressing up and pretending to be characters, and I was acting out and everything, but when I saw the movie, it made me crazy. I started designing costumes, drawing something like 2,000 outfits. All of that stemmed from seeing the costumes and all the production design and how big it was. It was so vast. It had such a huge impact on my childhood, telling me that it was legitimate to dream that big. The other kids were playing hockey, and I was drawing these clothes and writing letters to Danny DeVito and Leo DiCaprio. “Dear Leonardo. I’m 8 years old. I go to school. I love school.” The letters started like that. Anyway, he never answered, and now it’s too late.

CHASTAIN: Aw.

DOLAN: There will be hell to pay. [Chastain laughs] I didn’t know I was gay, but I knew I was quite different—and not in a special way. My obsession with DiCaprio and [Kate] Winslet and the costumes and everything was so disproportionate. It scared everybody. Actually, I think everybody knew but me. I knew for sure when I was 11 or 12. I came out to my cousin when I was 13. I said something so stupid. If a kid said a line like that in a TV show, the screenwriter would be fired and killed immediately. I told her, “I love women in my heart but not in my undies.” Something like that.

CHASTAIN: No, you did not! [laughs]

DOLAN: She reminds me of that often. It was horrible.

CHASTAIN: Do you feel that with your writing and directing and acting you can delve into what it was like to be that 8-year-old kid watching Titanic and trying to figure out their sexuality? Is it a way for you to explore that within yourself?

DOLAN: I think it’s a way to channel rage. I was a very violent kid. I think movies and writing and art have been a way of channeling this. But I have this will to defend people—it can be all sorts of people. In Laurence Anyways it was a transgender woman; in I Killed My Mother it was an adolescent who was rejecting his mother because he is going through his coming-of-age crisis; in Mommy it’s a more existential thing. These characters are expressive and they’re flamboyant, but they have nothing to do with the other characters from the other movies—it’s always about the things that marked me when I was young. Batman Returns [1992], Titanic, those are the movies that have printed something very deeply into me. I recently realized that most filmmakers start making movies when they’re 30. So they’re looking to the films that they saw when they were 17, 18, 25. Most of them have an education, and if they don’t, they spend years watching films. The only years I’ve spent watching movies were the years when I was a kid, and my father brought me to Jumanji. He didn’t tell me, “Kid, I’m going to show you Bergman and Eisenstein and Citizen Kane.” No.

CHASTAIN: Mommy was in the main competition at Cannes, and it won the Jury Prize. This is your fifth feature film that you’ve made, correct?

DOLAN: Yeah.

CHASTAIN: How old were you when it won the Jury Prize?

DOLAN: I was 25, the age I am right now. And by the time this interview is published, I will still be 25. I will be 25 forever.

CHASTAIN: First of all, congratulations, because Mommy has been selected as Canada’s entry for Best Foreign Language Film for the Academy Awards, which is huge, hello. The film hinges on this imaginary Canadian law that allows parents to give their children up to the state without involving the courts or a fee. What brought this to your mind?

DOLAN: That law is something I read about that had been voted on in Nebraska in the early 2000s. It’s been abrogated, but it was a Safe Haven law that applied to older children. It was used by parents who were barely scraping by, but were also endangered by their behaviorally disordered children. I read about that through a mother’s story, a mother who had abandoned her child in one of those hospitals. She was completely helpless. Her son was younger than the one in Mommy. She had another son, I think, and her son would be very violent, physically and verbally abusive, to her other son and to her. He was a good-hearted kid, of course, and he was mentally ill, and there was no health care whatsoever. She’s completely at the end of her rope, and she sees a future where one day she won’t be able to stop her kid from killing himself or killing someone, so she brings him to this place. I was really moved by the story and thought, “Well, that’s one for a movie eventually.” Then one day I shot with Antoine-Olivier Pilon, who is the lead in the film, in the music video for “College Boy” by this French band, Indochine. I had a major artistic crush on him.

CHASTAIN: He’s also in Laurence Anyways, right?

I was a very violent kid. I think movies and writing and art have been a way of channeling this. Xavier Dolan

DOLAN: He appears briefly in Laurence Anyways. He was already strikingly charismatic and impressed everybody. He really impressed me. I saw him and I was like, “This is the kid from this movie I’ve been planning on doing.” He was one of the elements that impelled me toward writing Mommy. Him, and hearing Ludovico Einaudi’s song “Experience”—he’s an Italian composer; that is the piece you hear in the movie when Diane, the mother, dreams of the future. When I first heard it through a friend at a random party, I was like, “Oh my God. This is a song for a mother who sees the future that she will never have, who dreams the life that she will never have.” I wrote that scene not knowing it would be in Mommy.

CHASTAIN: Anne [Dorval]’s performance is so incredible. Everyone’s performance in the film—Suzanne Clément … In all of your films, the female characters are so inspiring to watch. They’re not stereotypes of an idea. You allow the women in your films to have flaws and strengths. Speaking as an actress, I can tell you it’s very rare to get scripts like that. When you won the prize in Cannes—and the president was Jane Campion—you said, “The Piano [1993] was the first film that I watched that defined who I am … [It] made me want to write films for women, beautiful women with soul and will and strength.”

DOLAN: I was brought up with my grandmother, with my great aunt, with my mom, with my babysitters. All the ladies, “All the single ladies.” [both laugh] It’s who I am. They are the people I want to talk about, they’re the people I want to protect, they’re the people I want to put in my movies and see fail or win. As a writer, as a human being, and as a young man, it’s easier for me to express my anger, to ask questions, to seek answers, to talk, to cry as a woman in a movie. I connect with those figures more than I connect with men. Men are born privileged in the scale of things—I’m generalizing, but it’s true. Women have to define themselves in the eyes of men. They have to fight for their rights, especially in a society that will pretend that there is no fight or no battle, that it’s a cliché, that feminists are reactionary, all these things. As a young man who struggled to find his identity and to find his place, I relate to that quest for belonging in society. With mothers, especially, with their flaws, the way they have made huge sacrifices in order to be good moms or just moms. They probably sacrificed a part of their career, they sacrificed some desires, some dreams. I cannot relate, but I love to talk about it.

CHASTAIN: Where have you been all my life?

DOLAN: Well, I’m here now.

CHASTAIN: Thank God!

DOLAN: And I’m not going anywhere.

CHASTAIN: In I Killed My Mother, your character leaves a note that says that he can be found “in his kingdom.” I’m wondering where your kingdom is.

DOLAN: I hope you’re not disappointed by the answer. Geographically, I can’t name a place, so I will talk artistically and emotionally. My kingdom is on a set. It’s the only place on Earth where I feel I’m not waiting for something. Except when I’m waiting for the touch-ups, the fucking touch-ups.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I see you; Castiel x reader

I just published this to my Wattpad and I thought this could be a good warm up for my tumblr people to see how well I’ve written for Castiel. Now this was heavily inspired by James Cameron’s movie AVATAR. When I saw the I see you scene when Neytiri sees Jake for the first time in his human state, I just couldn’t resist and not use this for our beloved Angel of the Lord (esp. now since I can officially call myself a Cas!Girl)  

___________________________________________________________

Relaxation was a rare occurrence for me and my friends, movie nights; those were extremely rare because sometimes me and the Winchester brothers just couldn’t agree on what movie we wanted to watch.  Luckily Castiel was the tie breaker and I was thankful that he always seemed to favor my movies and tonight I chose the movie that basically changed the entire game of movie making 3D effects, Avatar.

Luckily Dean didn’t seem to complain that much and Sammy already said that he liked Avatar when we got the chance to see it after working a case before we went back on the road. While Cas was completely entranced with the movie, especially the Na’vi people and the world of Pandora.

We were now at my favorite part where Neytiri finally sees Jake for the first time in his human state.  When I first saw this scene in the theaters I was crying, the effects, the music and the closeness that they shared at that moment it was—pure magic.

Like two soulmates finally seeing each other for the first time. 

“I see you” said Jake from the movie as he stared up at Neytiri.  She smiled down at him and I quoted her as she said at the same time.

“I see you”. A tear fell down my face and Dean scoffed at me saying.

“You have seen this movie way to many times”.

“Shut up!” I snapped as I threw a pillow at him. I sipped my beer and I kept my eyes on the TV as the movie was coming to an end.  Once the movie was over, I raised my hands up in praise and I said, “Can I pick em or can I pick em?”  

“God I hadn’t seen that movie in literally almost 10 years and seeing it again was just as amazing. The effects still blow me away even today”.

“I know right!?” I then turned to the fallen angel and I asked him, “So how did you like it?”

“It was very—entrancing. The way you humans can create such worlds with technology it’s…..heavenly”. I smiled at his choice of words then once we saw that it was around 2:45am we all decided to call it a night. As I was just about to hope into bed, a soft knock was heard at my door.  I walked over and opened my door and there stood Castiel.

“Hey Cas”.

“Hello (y/n)”.

“What’s up?”

“I couldn’t get over of the beauty of the movie you showed us tonight and I….I was wondering if you could show me more?”

“Umm….” I trailed off.

“It’s okay I understand, I mean you humans do need sleep and forgive me I’m still new to being human myself and I—”

“No, no, no it’s fine Cas. Come on in, lucky for you I’ve got some of the goods right here from both mine and my dad’s collection”. I allowed him inside and the two of us piled up on my bed and I gave him a full education on all the great CGI movies this far.

But as we were watching the recent Jungle Book movie, I had fallen asleep right on Castiel’s chest. I hadn’t mean to but exhaustion just overcame me and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t dreamed of doing that.

Ever since I met the Angel, I felt like I had died and gone to Heaven itself.  His deep ocean eyes and the loyal attitude that he had developed the more times he hung around us, plus his curiosity towards life around us always made him even cuter.

But ever since his fall from Heaven and completely lost all of his Angel mojo, he hasn’t been the same.  Everyday he’d just stand outside the Bunker just staring at the sky in solemn, longing to return home to Heaven.  So that’s when I decided to bring back up the movie nights that I used to do with the brothers to hopefully help cheer Cas up.

The brothers agreed to it and that’s what we’ve been doing for the past 11 months so far. Whenever there was a chance we could relax, we all sat down in the Bunker living room, made an entire pillow fort and played the movie that the majority of us chose (again that’s whenever we weren’t fighting about genres).

*Castiel’s POV*

As we were watching the recent remake of the movie called “The Jungle Book”, I felt something press to my chest and when I looked down, I saw (y/n) had fallen asleep on my chest.  As I watched her I couldn’t help but admire the peacefulness that she held whenever she slept.

Her features were always at peace, her brow that always held such stress whether during a case or worrying about others was finally at ease, and her hair flowing to one side of her almost like there was wind blowing through her hair. From the moment I met her, I’ve always felt this connection to her.

Like I never wanted to part from her.  I was always more protective of her than I was of the brothers, if I ever even saw one scratch on her even if it wasn’t fatal, I’d always feel such rage, like I wanted to smite down whatever person or creature had caused her harm. Do things to them that no angel would ever do less they risk becoming like Lucifer. 

I stroked through her hair gently brushing some strands away from her face and I kept her close to me as I leaned my head against hers and soon I found myself for the first time truly falling asleep with (y/n) safely protected in my arms. 

*My POV*

I should have seen this coming.  We thought it was be a simple one vampire catch that was located in El Paso, Texas but it turns out we were ambushed by over 20 Vampires.  And to make matters worse, one of them had started a fire in the apartment where there nest was and there were about over 100 people in this apartment.

Dean, Sam, Castiel and I tried to alert every one of the fire that was starting to come up. The building had quickly become engulfed with flames faster than either of us could predict and some part of the building was starting to come down.

As I followed behind the guys I swore I could hear crying.  A child’s cry.  Without a moment’s hesitation I raced back into the fire and found an open apartment and could hear the crying more clearly.

“Hello? Where are you?!” I jumped back and shielded myself as best I could from the falling debris. “WHERE ARE YOU!?” I cried out louder.  I walked further through the apartment until I heard coughing coming from the closet. “Hello are you in there?”

“Please help me! I’m….I’m scared!”

“Okay hold on sweetie I’m gonna get you out. Can you tell me your name?” I said.

“Henry”.

“Okay Henry sweetie I’m gonna need you to back away as far as you can from the door okay? Cause when I break it down it may fan the flames and I don’t want you to get hurt? Can you do that for me honey?” He remained silent then I said to him. “Henry sweetie I need to know you’re still with me! Cough twice if you understand”. I soon heard two coughs. “Atta boy, okay step back for me baby!” I waited for a brief second before kicking the door.  I kicked it a second time and then third times the charm the door fell in which fanned the flames. “Henry?”

He nodded.  I smiled at him and got inside the closet and introduced myself to him as I quickly grabbed him and picked him up in my arms.

“Now Henry, I’m gonna need you to keep your head down inbetween my neck and shoulder, don’t look up for any reason okay? I don’t want you breathing in any smoke, okay honey?”

“Okay”.

“That’s a good boy, you’re a brave boy Henry, okay hang on tight to me and remember don’t look up”. I covered him up with my jacket and kept him close to me as I left his apartment and tried to find a safe route out of the apartment.

But the building had gotten worse.  All the windows leading to any nearby fire escape were completely blocked by fire, any nearby stairway leading downstairs were either engulfed by a firewall or if I did open one, the other side was just engulfed with flames.

The smoke was getting too intense and I was coughing like I was trying to cough up my lungs. But as I heard Henry crying in my arms saying that he was going to die, I kept telling him that I wasn’t going to let him die.  Finally I managed to find a good enough stairway to take and I immediately took it and just in time to because as I passed under the doorway, debris completely blocked off my exit point.

I walked down the stairs until I reached the bottom level and kicked down the door and held Henry tightly to me but I was starting to get very light headed and I couldn’t take another step.  I fell to my knees and said to Henry.

“Henry—listen to me….I need you to be a big hero and run out of here as fast as you can” He looked at me confused and frightened but I said to him as I hazily pointed to his shirt, “Listen….I know you can do it. Be like Dash, I need you to run as fast as you can. I believe you can do it kiddo, be a little speedster. Can you do that for me?” He looked at me sadly but nodded and I hugged him tightly. “That’s a good boy now go—go” I then saw him race out and I could faintly see him leave the apartment and I smiled softly and felt myself fall backwards and I stared at the burning ceiling above me while whispering “Good boy, good boy Henry”.

*Castiel’s POV*

The brothers and I had led practically everyone out to safely but it was then I noticed that (y/n) wasn’t with us anymore.

“(Y/n) is not here!” I stated.

“Wait what? What do you mean she’s not here?!” Snapped Dean.  It was then we saw someone running out like a bullet out of the burning apartment and we all took notice that it was a small boy around 10 years old but he was gripping onto something tightly.  Something that I recognized instantly. 

(Y/n)’s jacket. 

I raced over to the boy with the brothers calling out my name and I knelt down to the boy and gripped onto the jacket and told him.

“Where did you get this jacket?”

“(Y/n) gave it to me, she’s—she’s still in there” the child said.

“(Y/n) is still inside!?” cried Sam fearfully.  My heart sunk as I turned towards the building and without hesitation I raced on inside with Dean crying out my name.

As I entered the building, the smoke was shrouding over the building like thunderclouds before a storm and the fire was greater than it was originally.  I called out for (y/n) until my voice ran hoarse.  Until finally I came by a doorway and saw black combat boots peeking out from the doorway.

*AN: You may need to pause the video just before Jake wakes up because I want the music to fit and you can skip ahead to where Neytiri goes up to the compartment and sees Jake*

I ducked away from the flames that flickered in front of the doorway before taking a leap and there (y/n) lay unconscious.  I quickly grabbed her in my arms and cried out as I shook her.

“(Y/n)? My (y/n)!” She remained unresponsive and I began to fear the worse.  I shook my head no and held her close to me and rocked her gently as I whispered to her, “It’s gonna be alright. It’s gonna be alright, I’m here. I’m right here my white dove”. 

Even if it was too late for her, I at least wanted her to know that she wasn’t going to die here alone.  I would stay with her and be engulfed in the flames myself to protect her. To let her know that she did not die alone, that someone was there for her. 

Suddenly something overcame me. 

I felt this sudden rush of power and grace within me again.  The smoke that once filled my lungs, vanished. It felt like I was breathing normal air again.  I felt something growing out from my back and through the light of the flames I could see black feathered wings.

My wings. 

Soon a bright light surrounded the entire room and soon exploded.

*3rd Person POV*

Firefighters continuously tried to douse the flames, Dean and Sam stood worriedly about their two friends that were still trapped inside.  That’s when they both recognized a familiar bright light that was forming inside and that’s when Dean yelled out.

“EVERYBODY SHUT YOUR EYES!!!” Soon there was a flash of bright light and the building exploded just as everyone turned away from the massive bright light. 

As the Winchesters looked up at each other they knew right away what that meant.  They quickly raced into the Impala and took off driving and as they drove, they both received a message through the radio from Castiel telling them to follow the bright light.

They soon saw a beacon of light just ahead and Dean stepped on the gas before finally spinning Baby into a parallel parking position.   

The brothers immediately got out of the car and raced up the hill until they soon saw their friend Castiel kneeling on the floor holding an ash covered (y/n).

“Cas are you?”

“Yes Dean, I’m back”. The brothers then looked down at (y/n) worriedly.

“Is—is she…..” Sam just couldn’t find it in him to even say it.  Castiel looked down at his true love and pressed his forehead to hers and whispered in Enochian.

“Awake my (y/n)”. He then placed his lips over hers and breathed air into her.  He stayed in that position for a while before finally separating from her. Suddenly her eyes shot open and she let out loud gasp before trying to regain her breath.  The brothers let out ecstatic smiles and laughs as tears of joy came down their face at seeing their friend alive once more.

But none of the boys could compare to the happiness coming from Castiel as he smiled down at her in relief and looked at her with loving eyes thanking that his kiss had saved her.

*My POV*

I was in darkness until I was suddenly brought back and I saw a forest surrounding me and as I tried to regain my breathing I saw Sam and Dean looking down at me crying happily. But as I looked towards Castiel who was still holding me, I noticed something different about him. 

There was this bright light surrounding him and I could see his wings.  Not just his shadow, but his full-fledged wings.  They were a beautiful black with a slight hint of blue hidden within them. 

I slowly reached out to cup his cheek with my hand and as soon as I touched him, I felt this sudden warmth embrace me.  I could feel it even stronger the moment he placed his hand on top of mine and was smiling down at me with pure love. 

I saw him. His true self.  Like two soulmates finally seeing each other for the first time.  Just like in Avatar.

“I see you”. I whispered softly. Castiel smile widened as he kept his hand on me and I noticed a tear fall down his face as he said to me.

“I see you”. He said to me lovingly.  He nuzzled closer to my palm before leaning down towards me and I leaned myself upwards as our lips connected once more in a kiss. 

Back at the Bunker, Cas and I were in my room snuggled up close to each other. Our bare bodies entwined with each other’s.  

My head resting on his bare chest and my hand drawing circles along his pecs, while his arms were wrapped tightly around me one arm kept secure long my waist and the other one alternating between stroking my hair or drawing Enochian symbols on my shoulder.

“I can’t believe you’d willingly sacrifice yourself for me like you did” I said.

“I would do anything for you (y/n). You are my One. The one that God has chosen for me. Even though I did not know it at the time”. I looked up at him and he looked down at me and he gently kissed my forehead gingerly. 

“I love you Castiel. From the moment I first met you” I whispered.

“And I you; (Y/n) (l/n). Daughter of (m/n) and (y/n)” he soon rolled me onto my back gently and hovered over me.  His hot breath gently caressing my face and every now and then I would feel his lips place kisses in various places all over my face. “I am with you now (y/n). We are mated for life”.

[stagestageau]

Camp Camp Actor AU

So me and my friends decided to make a Camp Camp Actor AU! 

To make it easier for the kids, the characters keep their actors first name. Therefore David is played by David, Gwen plays Gwen, etc.

Max is David’s adopted son. Max was neglected as a baby and taken in by David's parents as a foster kid. Once he turned 18, David adopted Max because his parents couldn’t but he didn’t want to lose the then 4 year-old Max. Despite that he is a very good Dad to Max and makes sure he’s comfortable at all times. Just. David is a good Dad okay.

Talking about David’s family, he and Daniel are actually twins. He prefers to be called Danny though. He helped David take care of Max a lot in the beginning of their acting career, taking turns on who takes care of him depending on who had auditions/filming.

Sometimes he and Max go on adventures while he’s babysitting and David’s like No Max cannot go rockclimbing Daniel he’s tOO SMALL DANIEL!

Daniel is actually an atheist.

He keeps making fun of his role for drinking his own poison. He thinks that’s one of the dumbest ways you could possibly die.

‘Davey’ is Davids little brother. He’s the only one in Camp Camp who’s rolename isn’t his real name. His actual name is James, but the other kids usually call him Jimmy.

They have a sister that is starring in a Western produced by the same studio.

Daniel never not has a gift for his nephew. He kept lurking around the set before and after his episode a lot because 1. he didn’t have any other obligations at the moment and 2. he loves seeing his brother and nephew play their roles, be it in a show or an advertisement.

Due to Max history, scenes that reference the neglect of Character!Max are very hard on both Max and David. They had to retake the scenes from Parent’s Day a lot because David kept starting to cry. Everyone actually went for Pizza after that, not only to celebrate finishing filming for the season 2 finale, but also to cheer up David and Max.

Mr. Honeynuts is actually Max teddy bear from baby times that went through a lot as he grew up. He usually sits on the shelf nowadays in a self made cardboard chair with a blanket and pillow enjoying his 'retirement' to make sure he doesn’t break apart. When the script called for a beat up teddy they had him join their actor family.

Gwen and Jen(nifer) are sisters and while they’re a year apart in age they look a lot like each other. Jennifer is the older one of them.

Offstage Max is a real sweetheart and actually acts like a ten year-old. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like pranks though. He and Daniel love playing pranks on David together.

Daniel always had a thing for pranking his brother. As a kid David never left out a chance to prank his brother back but now tries to set a good example for Max, so when he pranks Daniel back nowadays he makes sure it’s not too bad and tries to avoid Max being around.

In the beginning Max always messed up his lines and said Dad instead of David.

Nikki and Neil are actually siblings.

Cameron always brings cakes and other baked goods for everyone and is overall a really sweet guy. He bakes everything himself and is overall a great cook.

Dolph (short for Rudolph) asks if his character could be changed everyday because he hates it but his mom is sick and they need the money so he can’t do much.

After the season 2 finale everyone got together and threatened to leave the show if Dolph’s character wasn’t changed to something less....bad. It worked and his character was changed for season 3. The first episode switches between David taking the campers on a hike and Gwen explaining to dolph who he acts like and then helping him change his outfit and hairstyle. After the episode all that is left of season 1/2 Dolph is the accent and the love for art. His role name is changed to Rudi.

The Quartermaster just showed up one day. In "Quartermaster Appreciation Day", the script had David give the Quartermaster a raise and the episode was supposed to focus on the campers trying to find a present. Instead, the Quartersister walked in. Everyone's like 'David who the fuck is THAT'. Poor guy has no idea though. But because they were close to deadline they were supposed to just stay in character if something happened.

Cameraman: gesture to keep going. David:...."your very own qUARTER..SISTER"

Neil is autistic.

Germy Fartz is actually a really popular child actor who agreed to this role for the hell of it. All the kids were like wow its so cool to meet u who're you playing. And Germys like "i'm fart guy"

Cue immense giggles from all children.

Bonquisha usually plays the heroine in an action series and is pretty much a 'guest star' in ep7. She came back cause fans kept asking if Character!David was single and how the date with Character!Bonquisha went. So they made Bonjour Bonquisha. Since no one recognised her in the show it’s widely believed in the fandom that the action series whos lead Bonquisha plays either doesn’t exist in the Camp Camp universe or has another actress in her role.

Jacob played her love interest in her last movie and his appearance as her new lover is a nod to that.

Space Kid was supposed to only wear a NASA cap and jacket, but when auditions started and Neil Armstrong Jr. showed up in a self made space suit it was changed to fit him more. He wanted to get this role because he had the fascination for space basically layed in the crib and always loved both space and acting.

The other kids all call him Nebby (from Nebula) off set to avoid confusion between the two Neils. He loves this nickname.

When Max first started to get involved in acting and such David really wanted to support him but he was worried about the whole acting world and how it'll affect him. Especially because Max was neglected- he wants attention because of it. What if acting gives him the wrong attention? David is Worried but still supportive

So David gets him an acting coach and Max tries for commercials and David's talking with Max's therapist and coach on the sideline just checking in and being a good father.

Then Max tries for this role and David is Worried because its kinda close to home a bit with the "bad parents jokes" but Max really wants to do it and he does great! He gets a callback! McDonalds for dinner!

When the casting director went on break during auditions for Max' role he thought about how for the role of the male counselor they needed a man that looked like god himself would go to him for comfort. Cue him running into David calming down a young boy that had lost his parents in the chaos of auditions.

In the original pitch of the show, Max’s role was called Tony.

Aaaaand that’s the basics! 

[seanpatricklittlewriter]

The Movie Post

Greetings and salutations, true believers. I haven’t posted anything in a while other than shameless book promotion stuff for #FourthAndWrong, and for that I apologize. I always say I’d let you know if anything good happened immediately, but nothing good has happened. The new book is out. A few people who have read it told me they liked it. It’s not selling well. Lack of sales means a lack of reviews, which only helps it not sell faster. It’s all a vicious cycle. At a certain point, you have to remember that you’re only writing books because some tiny voice in your head won’t let you stop, and you just throw your hands up and let everything else fall as it may. For the first time, I’ve actually bothered to try real advertising. I’m giving advertising on the Kindle lock screens a go. I’ll let you know if actually works.

 In the meantime, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts while puttering around the house, going for walks, and ignoring the gym. (I gotta stop ignoring the gym…) If you haven’t watched “Ted Lasso” on AppleTV yet, I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s one of the best shows I’ve watched in a long time. Great writing. Great characters. Great story. Very uplifting and wonderful. One of the show’s writers, creators, and stars, the wonderful Brett Goldstein (who plays the gruff Roy Kent on the show), has a podcast called “Films to Buried With.”

 I started listening to his podcast because I enjoy him on the show so much, and I’ve found out that I enjoy his podcast as much as the show. He’s a genuinely sweet man, and he gets comedian and actor friends to guest on his podcast. The show’s conceit is that Brett invites guests on, tells them they have died, and then gets them to relive their life through the films that meant something to them. It’s a fun little chat show, and a solid way to waste an hour while you’re getting through doing the dishes or mowing the lawn.

 It’s precisely the sort of podcast I would love to be on. I’ve always said you can judge your level of success by what people invite you to do. I always said I’d know if I “made it” if I could ever get invited to be on one of the podcasts I enjoy, rather than trying to wrangle my way into someone else’s podcast or blog. So far— this has not happened. That should tell you what level of success I’m stuck at. I don’t get invited to the movies by my imaginary friends. But Brett encourages people to share their ideas and opinions on social media, anyhow. It’s a fun way to play along at home, tell other people about the podcast, and start conversations around your favorite movies. Stories bind us together. They give us common ground and build bridges toward strengthening relationships. If you meet someone new, you can tell if you’ll get along with them by what films they enjoy. So in that spirit, I’d like to answer the questions Brett asks his guests by discussing a few of my favorite films. If you’d like to play along in the comments, please do. I always love reading about what other people think about movies, books, or music. I won’t bother going through the death/afterlife conceit he uses, but I recommend listening to a few of his podcasts if you enjoy this sort of thing. It’s a fun little premise he uses to generate the episodes.

 --What’s the first film you remember seeing?

         I remember bits and pieces of several films from my childhood. I remember the Muppet Movie in the theater. I remember seeing The Black Hole. I remember a lot of little chunks of a lot of Disney animated films. But the movie that sticks out in my head is “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It was 1981. I was six. I remember going to see it on a Sunday matinee with my family. I remember it was packed. People were literally sitting on the floor in the aisles. We got three seats someplace, but I remember my dad having to sit in the row in front of us. I don’t remember a ton about the movie the first time I saw it other than being scared of the pit of snakes and the melting Nazi faces. However, I remember the iconic moment when Harrison Ford pulled the gun on the swordsman and shot him. I remember the audience reaction and thinking, “That’s a hero.” I’ve long been a Harrison Ford fan. Between Han Solo and Indiana Jones, he played two of the most iconic heroes of my childhood. When I wrote the TeslaCon novels, I made no secret that my protagonist, Nicodemus Clarke, was just a shallow rip-off of Indiana Jones. It’s funny, but to this day, in my head, if you ask me what a hero looks like, it’s always going to be Harrison Ford.

  --What’s the scariest film you’ve ever seen?

          The scariest film I’ve ever seen is Kevin Smith’s “Red State.” It’s a movie about a religious cult that’s very reminiscent of the Westboro Baptist Church, David Koresh/Waco compound, or any of the other extremely far-right Christian separatist movements. It’s scary because there are many, many of these gun-hoarding compounds, and the movie, while extreme, is not too far off from possibility. Michael Parks plays the leader of the family at the heart of the film, and his performance was award worthy. He was truly terrifying.     As an aside, prior to Red State, I always told people the movie that scared me the most was the original “The Amityville Horror.” Basically, I saw the scene where the poltergeist made the drop-sash window fall on the kid’s fingers and nearly sever them, and that was it. I had the same drop-sash windows in my bedroom, and I was scared of them from then on. I’d like to say that I outgrew my fear of drop-sash windows, but I’m 46 and they still skeeze me out when I see them. A movie I saw 40 years ago warped me forever.

  --What’s the movie that made you cry the most?

         I used to not be someone who cried at movies. However, years of thyroid issues and depression have messed with my response to emotional moments, so I do get teary nowadays at movies. Emotionally speaking, it’s not sad movies that get to me. It’s movies where someone overcomes something difficult. Especially sports movies. The ones that get me the most teary-eyed now are movies like the first “Rocky,” “Hoosiers,” “Miracle,” and “Rudy.” I also get teary-eyed at points of bravery to the point of stupidity. The best example of that is the climax and denouement of “How to Train Your Dragon.” Strangely enough, when a movie does something that is supposed to be a tear-jerker moment to the point that it panders to the audience, I don’t cry— I actually get angry. Anything Nicolas Sparks has ever had his name attached to, for instance. It’s maudlin, and it doesn’t deserve our respect.

  --What the film that made you laugh the most?

       This is not going to be a popular answer. If I was a little more erudite, I’d say something like “Airplane” or “Blazing Saddles” or “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” However, I didn’t see any of those in the theater originally. I was home, watching them on video. While they were funny and some of my favorite movies, I did not really do a ton of laughing while I saw them. I went to see “BASEketball” with my sister, and the theater was packed. Something about seeing a movie in a crowded theater heightens the emotional impact of jokes, and for whatever reason, that movie put me on the floor a couple of times. It’s a silly movie full of cheap laughs, but I remember hurting as I was leaving the theater. My sides and cheeks were sore. Second on that list was the movie “Bridesmaids.” I don’t think I’ve laughed harder at any movie than the scene where they all get diarrhea in the bridal shop. Especially Melissa McCarthy: “LOOK AWAY!”

  --What is the sexist film you’ve seen?

         For me, I will never forget seeing “Bachelor Party” on HBO at a friend’s house. Monique Gabrielle’s scene is probably the first time I saw full-frontal female nudity in a film. It burned itself into my brain. I probably have a thing for redheads to this day because of that scene. The rest of the movie is very wild and funny. It was one of the launching blocks for Tom Hanks’s ridiculously amazing career. But that one moment stands out as one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.

  --What film did you used to love, but now it’s not that great?

         Pretty much anything with “Rocky” in the title and a number following it. I still enjoy them, but Rocky III and IV, especially— not that good. I used to love them. I used to watch them whenever they hit TV, but now I only need to watch the first “Rocky,” and maybe the final fight in “Rocky II.” Anything else, I can leave out. They just feel a little overclocked at this point in my life.

  --What’s a film that people and critics panned, but you enjoyed?

        “Goon.” It’s a hockey film written by Jay Baruchel and starring Seann William Scott. It didn’t get wide release—almost straight-to-video. It didn’t get great reviews. I think Metacritic has it around 60%. But something about that movie hit me, and I love it. I suggest it to people all the time. It’s got great performances. It’s a solid flick. It’s not going to overwhelm you. It’s now one of my comfort films. When I’m bored and need something on in the background, I will often choose “Goon” or its sequel, “Goon: Last of the Enforcers.” The sequel was not as good as the original, but it’s still worth a watch. Kurt Russell’s son Wyatt is the villain in the sequel. He’s extremely good.

  --What’s a film that people love, but you hate?

        Hands down: “Avatar” or “Titanic.” Something about a lot of James Cameron films just don’t work with me. I think it’s because they’re too grandiose. They try too hard. Also, the scripts are just there to get him to the big, visual set-pieces. They’re thin on both character and plot. I can’t stand either of them.

  --What’s a film that means a lot to you, but it’s not because of the quality of the movie (i.e. you saw it with someone and it’s special, or it has importance to people around you, etc…)?

       Easily, “The Man From Snowy River.” This is a family favorite. I grew up watching this flick, and I made my daughter watch it when she was younger. I will never get tired of it. I probably watch it maybe three or four times a year. There’s just something about the cinematography of the climax when Jim goes down the mountainside on Denny’s back. It’s always breath-taking. Also, if you watch “The Man From Snowy River,” you see what my dad always wanted his life to be. Most boys’ fathers want their sons to be doctor or lawyers. My dad wanted me to be a cowboy.

  --What film do you relate to the most?

        “Clerks.” I saw “Clerks” when I was a senior in high school. Rented it from a local video store. I saw two dudes who were outliers in their social group working crappy jobs and dealing with the mundane nothingness of life. It hit me right in the gut. I resolved to do something better than that. So far, I’ve failed to do so, but I keep trying.

  --Empirically speaking, what is the best film? (Not necessarily favorite film— but what film do you think is the best film ever made?)

         I have to say it was “Lawrence of Arabia.” The casting was amazing. The cinematography was incredible, unrivaled, really. The story was excellent. And the ordeal of the entire filming process was without peer. What they went through to make that movie, hands down, makes it the best film ever made. The scope of the film alone is mind-boggling.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy is a close second, but that’s technically three films, so I went with Lawrence of Arabia.

  --What film have you seen the most?

         I have watched “The Muppet Movie” a ton. I still love the movie “Roxanne.” I have also seen “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” and “The Quiet Man” more than any single person probably should. If I had to think about it and pick one film I’ve seen more than other…it’s probably “Meatballs.” Growing up, my sister and I watched that flick a thousand times. I can probably recite it from memory. It’s also one of the films that cemented an undying loyalty to Bill Murray.

   --And finally: You die and go to heaven. And in heaven, they ask you to pick one film that summarizes your life, one film that makes people understand you, or a film you want people to watch to help them know you better. What is that film?

         Nothing has had more influence on my life than the movie “Ghostbusters.” It defined me in several ways: my love for comedy, my love for the paranormal, and my love for snark and snappy comebacks. I loved Ghostbusters so much that I watched it on a weekly basis. I ran the audio cables from our VCR to a tape deck and recorded an audio copy of the film to play on my Walkman while I road the bus to school every day. I still have the film memorized word-for-word. I will often let my eyes go a little weird and turn to my daughter and say, “Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!” To know me is to understand Ghostbusters on a molecular level. I owe that movie a lot.

  Anyhow, this was a fun way to waste my night. I encourage you to play along. Answer some or all of the questions Brett asks his guests. I highly recommend listening to a few episodes of “Films to Be Buried With” on your favorite podcatcher app. And if anyone out there knows Brett Goldstein, please let him know I’m available to guest on his podcast. Until next time—Thanks for reading.

--Sean

[moldisgoodforyou]

first christmas

a/n: just some fluff with these two fools sharing their first christmas together. minimal angst if you squint in this one I promise. merry christmas!!

wordcount: 1.5k

_

Sophie didn’t invite Rafe to her family’s Christmas, even though her mom told her it was okay. She didn’t want him to think she was moving the relationship along too quickly, and didn’t want to have to deal with Rafe hearing whatever passive-agressive comments her mom might make toward her.

They met up the day after Christmas to exchange gifts instead. Sophie showed up to Rafe’s house with her wrapped gifts in hand and knocked hesitantly, not her usual method of sneaking in the back door and up to Rafe’s room. She regretted it the second Ward opened the door.

He paused, trying to remember her name. “Hello. It’s Lexie, right? You’re here for Rafe?”  

Sophie smiled brightly, hoping it didn’t appear as forced as it felt. “I’m Sophie. Yes, is he here? We were going to exchange gifts.”

Rafe came running down the stairs at the sound of her voice, having just finished wrapping her present. “Soph, hey! Sorry, you’re here early!”

She relaxed upon seeing him and Ward stepped aside, letting her in. “Sophie, of course, I knew that. Rafe, a word?”

She stopped in the entryway, glancing back and forth ‘til Rafe nodded. “I’ll meet you up there.”

“Nice to see you again, Mr. Cameron.” Sophie told him quickly before going to Rafe’s room, taking a seat on his bed while he waited. She subconsciously adjusted her miniskirt and glanced at herself in the mirror, hoping she looked suitable even though Ward couldn’t even bother to remember her name. Rafe came up a few moments later, wearing a slightly sour expression.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. Hey, look at you, all dressed up.” He grinned and placed both hands on her knees, leaning over to greet her with a kiss.

"Just for you.” She tugged him down to her level, making him sit next to her. “Did Ward ask you why Lexie wasn’t here instead?” She tried joking, but it came out a little too serious. He frowned. “Ah...not quite. Is that still bugging you? Did he say something?”

“No, no, I was just kidding. Sorry. Bad joke.” She dismissed it quickly, not wanting to dwell on it. “Hey, I brought your presents.”

“Okay...” He decided not to press it and got up, grabbing his gifts for her from his desk. “You open first. The big one.” The wrapping was a little haphazard, edges not really clean and tape stuck in a few random places, but she appreciated that he did it himself. Sophie unwrapped her gift and grinned when she saw it, a varsity-style Ohio State sweater of his that she 'borrowed’ often. “Rafe, no way. I can’t keep this.”  

“Yes way. That’s new, but I wore it a few times so it’s how you like it. But we can’t wear them on the same day, or James and Colin are never gonna let me hear the end of it.”

She laughed and pulled her own sweater over her head, beaming as she pulled on the new one instead. She noted that he had gotten the sleeves tailored just right. “It’s perfect, Rafe, I love it. Thank you.”  

“Looks perfect.” He grinned. “But I might like it better on the floor later.”

She rolled her eyes, blushing as she shoved his shoulder. “You’re the worst. Here, open mine. The box. It’s...well, I don’t know. Just open.”

He raised his eyebrows but accepted the box, unwrapping quickly. He smiled when he pulled out the sweatshirt, embroidered with the his fraternity’s crest small on the front. He ran his finger over it, impressed by the detail that normal manufacturers could never quite get right. “This is sick, Sophie.”

“I made it.” She couldn’t hold back her excitement, pleased at his reaction.

“Wait, no fucking way?” He held it up closer to inspect it and grinned at the handmade crest, just a little imperfect in all the right ways. “That’s so damn cool, Soph. I can’t imagine how long this took you.”

“Hey, look.” She lifted the sleeve to show him the tiny little S that she embroidered on the cuff, only an inch tall.

He leaned over and kissed her, grinning. “That’s awesome, thank you. Hey, I can wear my heart on my sleeve.”

Sophie turned red, trying to ignore how his words made her want to hide and show him all off all at once. “Cheesy.”

“Only for you.” He nudged his knee against hers. “Okay, now mine. I really hope you like it.” He passed the second gift to her, watching her face eagerly. She took her time unwrapping, carefully folding the paper and setting it aside once she pulled out the box. When she opened it, she gasped and looked up. “You remembered.” 

“It’s the right one, isn’t it?” He watched as she took out the film camera he had gotten her, complete with a box of film, a gift card for a local developer and a custom leather strap with her initials stamped in. She had told him about how in high school, she’d been really into film photography and wanted to get back into it, but had sold her precious camera her junior year of high school for extra cash to fix her car. 

Sophie nodded, taking a moment to compose herself before meeting his gaze, her eyes a little watery. “It’s perfect, Rafe, I love it.” She carefully set the camera aside before throwing her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He laughed softly and pulled her closer, turning his head to press a kiss to her temple. “Hey, no crying on my watch.” 

“M’ not.” She mumbled, her muffled reply sounding a little shaky anyways. He rubbed her back gently before pulling away to see her face. She reached up and kissed him, long and slow. “Seriously, this is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. And you listened, you remembered.” 

He beamed from the praise. “I’m glad you like it. I’m excited to see your photos with it too.” 

She nodded, grinning. “Thank you, so much. Here, one more from me. Last one.” Sophie handed him a tube-shaped present and sat back, giving him space. He moved so he was shoulder-to-shoulder with her, always liking to have them touching even in a small way. Once he pulled out the poster inside and unfurled it, his jaw dropped. “Holy fucking shit.” 

“Is it okay?” She asked, a little nervous, though she had already confirmed it was perfect ten times over with James and Colin. It was a poster of the movie Dead Poet’s Society, signed by Robin Williams. She had probably paid a little too much for it and went back and forth on it for weeks, but it was Rafe’s  favorite movie and he’d made Sophie watch it at least six times already. 

“Is it okay - Sophie, it’s incredible. Oh my god, this is so cool.” He carefully ran his finger over the signature, shaking his head. She smiled, proud. Rafe held it up, arms extended to check it out in its full glory. “Your frame is back in Columbus, it was easier to just travel with the tube. I figured it’d be cool to have in your room?” She asked. 

“Absolutely.” He nodded quickly, not dropping his ear-to-ear grin. “Sophie, this is - I don’t even know where to start, for real -” He set the poster on the floor before pulling her onto his lap and wrapping her in a tight hug. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” 

She giggled, feeling warm and bright just from his response. “Hardly.” 

“No, I’m serious. This is my favorite gift I’ve ever gotten.” 

“Well you’ve only gotten two gifts from me in your life -” 

“No, from anyone.” He kissed her like he was trying to get his point across. “Best gift ever.” 

Sophie laughed, shaking her head. “Rafe, your dad literally gave you a Range Rover once.” 

“I don’t care. It’s not the same.” It wasn’t, not nearly at all, but she wouldn’t quite understand. And how would she, really, when he hardly told her anything about his strained relationship with his dad anyways? “It’s my favorite, and you can’t tell me otherwise.” He peppered light kisses across her cheeks and nose, grinning when she squirmed away and laughed. 

“Okay, okay, put it away before we go any further. Don’t want it to wrinkle.” She took her own gifts and set them carefully on his nightstand, pausing to admire the camera once more. Once they were put away, he caught her wrist and pulled her back to the bed. She straddled him on her knees and kissed him, soft and sweet. He leaned back just a bit and rested his forehead against hers. “Hey.”

“Hey what.” She scrunched her nose a little. 

“You’re my favorite. I mean it, too. Always do.” His words held more weight than they ever did and she found herself blushing from the implication. 

“You’re my favorite too. Merry Christmas, Rafe.” 

“Merry Christmas, angel.” 

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, August 10

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: What really killed Elvis Presley 

Page 2: Secrets behind Gladiator with Russell Crowe 

Page 4: Diane Keaton’s duds are a dandy delight -- at 74 she makes eccentricity chic 

Page 6: Two Florida sanitation employees who have never missed a day of work could not believe what they saw along their regular route -- people lining the street to cheer them 

Page 7: William Shatner has finally decided who’s going to play him in the biopic of his lengthy life -- Chris Pine, Ray Romano is loving being surrounded by his kids during the quarantine, The Golden Girls house for sale at $2.9 million, congrats to Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter who celebrated their 74th wedding anniversary making them the longest-married presidential couple in history

Page 8: Beat the heat at low cost, giggling do-gooders dressed in silly tutus have found a kind and funny way to make their neighbors smile -- they live anonymous gift baskets of wine on doorsteps 

Page 9: These stricken celebs made it through their own COVID crisis 

Page 10: When a fireworks prank destroyed an elderly Missouri couple’s mailbox and they had no choice but to stand in the rain waiting for the postman to deliver their medicines until a kindly cop went above and beyond for them by buying them a new mailbox and installing it for them 

Page 11: Your Health 

Page 12: The Sam Elliott you never knew -- at 76 the silver fox spills about life away from Tinseltown and why he’s not afraid to cry 

Page 14: Dear Tony -- Bullying is wrong -- use it to develop character

Page 15: Christopher Buckley was the former national security for the Ku Klux Klan but now goes around teaching compassion and helping to wipe out racial hatred 

Page 16: The hidden truth about Yoko Ono and John Lennon and The Beatles -- how she overcame tragedy and what really tore the band apart 

Page 18: Sanitation man works his way to Harvard Law 

Page 19: Tumani the 13-year-old gorilla at the New Orleans Audubon Zoo is about to become a first-time mommy 

Page 20: Cover Story -- what really killed Elvis -- why The King was destined to die young 

Page 22: Roux the rescue dog did some rescuing of her own on the Fourth of July -- her bark saved the sleeping family next door from a house fire 

Page 24: A Florida woman has found an inventive way to visit her husband with Alzheimer’s during the pandemic lockdown -- she got a job washing dishes at his memory-care center 

Page 25: The daughter of a Marine who died before she was born finally has something to remember him by thanks to a sharp-eyed kid who found her dad’s missing dog tag 46 years later 

Page 26: Willie Nelson revealed Kenny Rogers offered him the song The Gambler but he turned it down and that song became Kenny’s signature song 

Page 28: The Good Doctor 

Page 32: A Boston college student sat down and played an impromptu concert at a store never knowing his performance would strike a chord with viewers and he would end up owning his own free piano 

Page 38: Nursing home residents looking for something to do to fill their quarantine hours had a ball re-creating some of the most legendary album covers 

Page 40: Tony’s Mystic World -- the new Ten Commandments, a couple with 14 kids will give viewers the scoop on what their lives are like with a huge family in a new TLC reality show called Doubling Down with the Derricos 

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Jennifer Garner (picture), Orlando Bloom (picture), James Corden (picture), Mickey Rourke has come out swinging against Robert De Niro, Cameron Diaz says Benji Madden has written at least a dozen songs for their daughter Raddix, Gia Giudice got a nose job, Beverly Johnson is engaged at 67, Charlie Daniels completed his first novel before he died 

Page 45: Arnold Schwarzenegger and son Joseph Baena go for a bike ride (picture), Carrie Ann Inaba cried when she learned Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews had been let go from Dancing With the Stars but says they’re in good hands with Tyra Banks, Princess Beatrice wore a wedding dress borrowed from the queen 

Page 47: Loretta Lynn’s message of hope 

[scarecrowandmrking]

    Although I was pretty excited when I found out the writers had made a part for me on End Of Days, I kinda expected my arrival on the TV show wouldn't exactly be welcome.  My father produced the show and people were crying nepotism over it and saying that the character and story surrounding her were rushed and only created to appease my dad. And it hurt. I'd been in lots of films, including Michael Bay, Peter Jackson and James Cameron epics. I’d done Broadway and had trained in ballet at the world renowned  Paris Marais School. And still everything I ever achieved always, always, came back to my father. But I was determined to make the best of it. To prove to everyone that this demon character I was playing wasn't some bone thrown to me, it was my character. It was all me.       I was kind of surprised when Mark Pellegrino, who played the main protagonist on the show, invited me to one of his workshops at Playhouse West. Though I played a demon minion of his character in End Of Days, we seldom ever hung out or anything. I was close to all the other actors on the show, but not really to Mark. The man was at times an intimidating presence on set, depending on if he was in character or not. In fact, the first time I had met the tall, blond haired actor, I had walked up to him while he was  in full demonic make up and he had stared up at me as if he wanted to rip my face off. I didn't speak to him for a good two months after that. And, though I knew he had quite the fangirl following from the show, I found him to be too imposing and intense for my liking.      Mark had been dating the lead actress and writer on the show for a while now. Though from what I understood they had broken it off yet again. Now there was a new thing going on where the writers were having my character getting closer to Mark's, apparently because his ex wanted some space or some shit. When I first found out about it I must admit I ground my teeth a little. The fans already thought my being around was nepotism, now they were frothing at the mouth about my character breaking up the main couple on the show. Fucking perfect.      When I sat down in Marks class at Playhouse West I wasn't sure what to expect. Certainly not for Mark to come walking up to the front of the class in a black blazer and jeans. And sporting a pair of black horn rimmed glasses. I hadn't really seen that side of him before. That was new. Everyone in class seemed to love him. Many of the girls, and a few of the guys I noticed, staring at him like little lost puppy dogs. Id picked a spot at the back of the class, hoping not to be noticed by the Pellegrino loving horde. I wasn't really a big hit with the Pelli fans at the moment.      Today Mark was going over the nuances of playing villainous characters. I stifled a chuckle. This was something he would no a hell of a lot about, since the only cuddly character I had ever seen him play was Gavin off The Closer.  Mark stood in front of the class, his arms crossed, his eyes looking at each students face in turn. When he got to me, his gaze lingered a second longer than the others and I found myself nervously looking away. Fuck, his stare could melt titanium or something.      "First off, I know nothing about acting the story from the writers point of view. For me, the antagonist kind of is the story in the sense that he is the one, or she, pursuing and end passionately to the point of even death. And they force the other characters in the story to either rise up and meet them with contrary values or physical force. The antagonist is the one who brings out the heroic nature in the hero."      Mark moved around the class handing out scripts to the students. "These are scenes from shows and movies highlighting the different aspects of what it means to be a villein. And no, there aren't any Lucifer scenes in here."      The class erupted into laughter at the Supernatural reference as the actor moved to the front of the room.      "Everybody is going to divide up into pairs and come up here. We'll go through the nuances of the scene, first from the protagonists point of view. Then the antagonists. And we'll discuss how the scene can be improved by understanding what the characters want and how that affects the scenes dynamic."      As the students gathered into pairs Mark came over and plopped a script down in front of me on the desk. I looked down, my face turning a bright shade of red as I read the name upon it. Mark had chosen a scene from Creed: Legacy, a Joss Whedon series I had made a few years back. I'd starred as an apprentice witch assassin who's mother had been part of a society that hunted dark witches and demons. This scene had been a sexually charged exchange between my character and the leader of a witch hunting organization, a group of humans devoted to the genocide of the supernatural. Critics and fandom alike had hated the pairing, mostly because the actor and I had no chemistry. Though, to be fair, it hadn't been much of an issue back then. We'd both had even gotten a good laugh off of it.  I had never really considered it an insult to my acting ability. And thinking Mark had chosen this scene for me because he might think it did pissed me off royally.     "Want to go first?" he asked me, giving that famous little wink of his I recognized from having studied his work.    "Who's going to be my partner, you?"     Mark looked around. All the students were already standing around in their self made pairs. "Looks like you and I are the only ones left. Don't worry, I've had a little experience at this. I promise not to make you look bad."  I gritted my teeth and shook my head. "Why did you give me this? This scene was done just the way it was suppose to be. It was executed perfectly. Why are you trying to teach me things I already know?"    Mark's face became suddenly serious, and his eyes took on a coldly intelligent gleam that made me lean away from him a little. "The scene lacked authenticity. You went through the motions, adding nothing personal to the story. What was Amelia feeling about falling in love with a murderer of her kind? About the man who was directly responsible for her mothers death? Was she afraid, ashamed, angry at herself? You played the scene as it was written on the page. But I don't want to see what the writers wrote on the page. I want to see you."      He gave me another wink before returning to the front of the class. He had the paired off students go through their scenes, stopping here and there to explain to the class what was going on the scene and how they could improve their performances. I was actually quite impressed with him. He had a beautiful way with words and was never harsh or unnecessarily cruel in his critiques, giving praise where it was do and only using gentle prodding when students failed to grasp what they needed to learn. I found myself slowly starting to have a kind of begrudging respect for the man. He obviously cared about teaching. And I found his soothing voice and charismatic ways endearing, as much as I hated to feel anything of the sort for a guy who often made me want to hide under a rock.     When the class was over I felt a pang of sadness that I wouldn't be seeing more of Mark taking the students through their paces. This hadn't gone as badly as Id thought it would. I gathered up my stuff and prepared to hand the script back to Mark where he stood at the door.     "Hey, where are you flying off to?" He closes the door to block any hopes of my escape.     I tilted my head, giving him my best expression that would convey my wish that he leap out of the nearest window. "Come on, Mark, I've got better things to do than this."      He gave me puppy dog eyes, a sight that melted my resilience so fast I found myself both loving and hating the man in equal measure. "Oh, come on. Humor me. And if you do I'll never ask you for anything again. We're going to be having a lot of scenes together soon. Aren't you curious to see how that's going to work?"      "Ok," I replied, finally relenting under the onslaught of his continued rueful gaze. "But its gonna be cut down. No kissing. No touching. Disney stuff."     "Disney. I promise," Mark said, grabbing the script away from me and tossing it across the room.    "Hey!"    Mark motioned for me to follow him to the center of the room. "So, lets start off where my henchman brings you in. You stand right here and ill be right here. Now I want you to keep in mind what I said. Think about Amelia, not as a character, but as a real live person. With thoughts and feelings. She wants to be loved, but her life has always been about the fear of losing someone like how she lost her mother. My character is someone who threatens everything she believes about herself. A threat not only to her life but to her very being."     I fought hard not to roll my eyes. "I know the character, Mark. Played for her for seven years. How long have you played-"      "Did anybody tell you why I'm doing this or is it just because I'm evil?"      My head snapped up when I heard the words. Mark had already started the scene without me. His whole demeanor had been altered,  though it wasn't really something easily put into words. His stance, his voice, even his presence in the room had changed. His glasses were also nowhere to be seen, I noticed. I had seen actors switch into character before, obviously, but never this fast and never to quite this degree.     "Actually, I don't care," I told him, slowly stepping towards him. My hand clenched the imaginary dagger my character had snuck into the room. We eyed each other, circling one another and looking for any sign of weakness. "You think I don't know guys like you? I've dealt with guys like you all my life. You talk a big game, you act like you don't give a shit, but deep down you're all torn up because mommy didn't love you enough or some girl didn't go with you to prom."     Mark lunged out towards me, his speed and agility much faster than the original actor's had been. David had made the gesture almost playful, like a lover pulling me into his arms after a row. This was a predatory move, filled with the promise of greater violence and filled with malice. I gasped, struggling against his chest as he held me against him, the imaginary dagger falling to the floor as the real one had done in the original scene.     "I've studied your kind for years. Think your mother was a saint? Think she didn't slaughter innocents in her time? You don't know anything about me. I've never killed anybody who didn't deserve it. Never stripped anybody of their powers who didn't deserve it. How many of your kind can say the same?"      I stared up at Mark, this was the point in the scene where my character decides to seduce him in order to escape. In the original scene I had smiled at the actor playing him and playfully stroked his cheek. But that felt wrong in this scene with Mark. I decided to do what my training had taught me to do, go with my instincts.     Fuck it.     I grabbed Mark by the head and pulled him down so I could crush his lips to mine. He did something I didn't expect, he pulled away from me, staring down into my eyes. I read so many things in his deep blue eyes. Fear. Loss. Pain. I felt in that moment that I truly understood his character more than I ever had before. That he was a man on a mission to destroy what he believed to be the most dangerous abominations on earth. And that he both wanted to make love to me and kill me. And he hated himself for wanting either. And both.      "I hate you, You ruined my life" I whispered, but I reached up to stroke his face, the gesture betraying my words.      Mark kissed my forehead. "I know. Sometimes I don't like myself much, either."      He kissed me and I moaned into his mouth, leaning against him. He felt so good against me. And I found my hands wandering over his tall, powerful body. I bit and sucked his lower lip, enjoying the little jolt that went through his body. The scene we were doing became mixed with the reality of me and Mark in my mind. One minute I was the End Of Days actress looking for mentoring and the next I was a young witch being kissed and stroked by a hunter of my kind. And it felt breathtaking and wonderful. I couldn't get enough of his mouth on mine, his hands running up and down my back. His voice whispering my name.     "You think any of this is easy for me?" Mark asked, still staying in character as he pushed me towards the front of the desk. "I could have killed you so many times. I could put a bullet in you right now and nobody would bat an eye."      He threw me on top of the desk. I reached out and pulled off his tie, gazing up at him defiantly. "Yeah, well why don't you?"      Mark spread my legs and leaned against me, grabbing me by the back of the head and nipping teasingly at my lips. "Keep pushing me and you'll find out."     "Maybe I like pushing you," I told him, rubbing him through his jeans before unzipping him and stroking his hard cock. "And maybe you like it to."  Mark shuddered, kissing and nibbling my neck as I jacked him. He thrusted against me  few times before taking my hand away and leaning me further back across the desk. His eyes never left mine as he rubbed his cock over my wet pussy. I cried out his name and begged him to fuck me. He stopped for a moment, taking time to enjoy the sight of me wiggling in impatience beneath him, an affectionate, indulgent sort of smile on his face, before pushing his cock into me in one brutal thrust. I groaned as I took him in. Fuck, he was a big man, and his cock was proportionate to the rest of him.      "Take all the time you need," he tells me, pausing to lick and suck on my tits. "You're so beautiful. Wanted you for so long. Since the first time we met."     "Fuck me," I begged him, trying to move up and down on his cock myself.      "Fuck me."     He set a hard and fast pace in and our of my dripping wet pussy. I wrapped my legs around him, encouraging him with mouth, hands and impassioned pleas. No lover had ever fucked this damn well and he was actually getting me close to orgasm, which I'd never had through regular fucking. I wanted to come so fucking bad. The rise and fall of my pussy trying to come on his cock was driving me insane, and I found myself clawing at his back and shoulders. My wet pussy kept clenching around his cock, telling him that I needed it, that I needed him.     "Come for me," he says in my ear. His arms wrap around me and his thrusts become faster, more frantic. "I'm so close to coming for you."      I leaned my head back as my orgasm reached its peak, Mark groaning as he made two last deep thrusts to come when I did. The feeling of his hot spurts inside of me spurned my climax to go higher, deeper. And I heard his answering moan of pleasure as my pussy contracted, gently milking him of the rest of his cum.      When it was over we held each other, Mark planting kisses on every naked inch of skin he could find.  "I think I might have learned a few things," I told him, lovingly stroking his blond head.    "I'll give you a B for effort," he tells me.     I pull away, pretending to be offended. "What? That sounds kinda unfair to me."    Mark gives me the cutest little grin, one that melted my heart instantly. And I knew in that moment that i was falling for him. That I had been falling for him for a long time. "Well, if you're interested I could give you some extra credit."    "What kind of extra credit, sir?"     Mark takes my face in his hands and covers his mouth with mine.