#james ansgt

[hellojusthereforabit-blog]

Past Lives Pt. 1 - Bucky Barnes.

Time - travel. Angst. Unrequited love. Fluff. Ft. Sam Wilson.

"I think I'm in love with you." Out with it I go. James Buchanan Barnes, the former Winter Soldier, my partner, my teammate, my best friend, stares back at me, unblinking.

You could hear a pin drop fifty miles away if you tried.

I take Bucky's silence as a sign to keep going.

"We've known each other for two years now and, mission to mission, catastrophe after catastrophe, we have had each other's backs," I take a breath. Steady myself.

"It wasn't always easy, and we've had our differences and fair share of disagreements, but there's no one else I want to do this with, Bucky." I sigh, heart frozen in my chest, "You're it for me."

Bucky has the most unique set of eyes I have ever seen. The kind that pulls you in deep, leaves you frozen on the spot and inspires you to quote comically cliche poems at him in hopes of being spared a glance. Truly, Bucky is so beautiful that most days it's hard to look straight at him, but now I choose to face danger head on as I bare my heart out.

Bucky opens his mouth, but it takes him a second to collect himself enough to speak.

"Doll, I…" He's looking away, anywhere but at me, I realize.

My heart clatters inside my ribcage until I'm sure it caught on a fractured bone and exploded.

"Yes?" I say, quiet now, meek. I expected it. After all, Bucky is a go-getter - if he wants a girl, he'll go right after her. I should have known.

I'm so fucking stupid. Always over-estimating my place in other people's lives.

Bucky seems to take in big breath, but I can barely see him. My vision is hazy, blurred. I vaguely sense the burning of my eyes.

"I can't do this, doll," is all he says, "I'm sorry."

How long it takes, for one heart to trust another. How quickly it all shatters, I think.

"I-" Mortifyingly, my lower lip quivers. "Is it me?"

"No! Doll, don't be ridiculous." Bucky corrects quickly, reaching out to caress my cheek with his flesh arm. I realize he must be wiping a stray tear.

"Then why?"

"I'm just - I don't know if I'm ready."

I nod. Try to smile. Step away.

Instinctively, Bucky reaches for me, but his hand falls short at the distance between us and drops to his side instead.

"Are we…going to be okay?" He asks, wincing.

That nails the coffin. I feel my face crumble, so I tilt myself away from the man of my dreams, the man that's breaking my heart. I push through the pain and nod again.

"Dude, yeah, don't even stress it." I whisper, voice hoarse.

Bucky doesn't take the bait, doesn't laugh, just stares at me with big, sad eyes. He reaches a hand out to me again, but I roughly push it out.

"Don't you dare feel bad for me, Barnes. I don't need your pity." I snap, embarrassed.

"Doll, that's not-" he starts, but I cut him off.

"And don't fucking call me that! Don't be so condescending. This whole time I thought there was something here, that I wasn't crazy. You call me sweet names and hold me close after nightmares and look at me the way you do only to not - ." I stop myself, gesturing at the space between us. "If you were just using me for comfort and company, then it's done." I breathe hard.

I know it's not fair to my sweet, gentle Bucky. But laying your heart bare to someone and them pushing it back into your open arms is a different kind of pain. Don't judge until you try it.

Bucky's ocean eyes grow heated. I won't let him speak more, everything's said and done now.

"I'll see you Monday." I say finally, slamming Bucky's apartment door as I leave.

Bucky doesn't call out. Doesn't chase me down the street.

I can't believe I was so fucking stupid. I shake outside of Bucky's apartment complex until I'm sure all the makeup of my face has been wiped clean.

I dial the only other living friend I have left.

"What's up?" Sam's commanding voice is a welcome change from Bucky's soft and apologetic rumble.

I sob into the phone for long enough for Sam to trace my location.

"Oh, kid." He crouches by my slumped form on the floor. "Let's get you up and outta here."

I cling to Cap for dear life.

--

"He's the only man I've ever loved" I tell Sam, nursing the drink in my hand.

Sam stares at me with the sympathy and understanding he only ever reserves for his family - Sarah, and, more recently, Bucky.

He sighs, grimacing into the distance. I realize how this must look for him: his small team of surviving heroes - falling apart at the seams.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this." I whisper, suddenly captivated by the bubbles fusing at the bottom of my glass.

"Hey," he says gently, head snapping back to me, "You cut that shit out, right now."

"Yes, sir."

"Smartass. You're my friend - I'll do just about anything to ease the pain you're in right now. Hell, I was just looking for a reason to beat Bucky's cyborg ass."

I snort, barely fighting a smile.

"There she is," Sam teases.

Then his face turns somber.

"Can you still work with the guy?" he asks, leaning in. "This mission we got on Monday, it's tough, Y/n."

I look up but don't respond.

In all my drama I overlooked how deep the lines in Sam's forehead had been etched there for a while. I don't remember the last time he relaxed, or even took a break from being Captain America.

"We need all hands on deck," he insists. "Which is just three pairs of hands but it's still something."

I let myself contemplate for a minute longer despite already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, 'course, Sam. I'll be there."

--

To say the atmosphere in the room is tense is a grave understatement.

"So, I'll start," says Sam, taking the lead of the mission brief. He eyes Bucky and me with careful measure. Bucky stares straight ahead, and I try similarly to concentrate on the copy of the files printed and carefully laid out in front of me. In the time that it took me to read and re-read my copy, Bucky kept his untouched.

I pretend not to see the deep dark circles that blossomed under his eyes when we exchanged equally cold "good mornings".

"We're time-traveling, now?" I ask, unamused by the idea in light of recent events.

"This is a very high-profile mission," explains Sam, devoid of his warmth from a few nights ago. This was Captain America speaking.

"There's been a breach at the base - some high-tech equipment from Tony's lab has mysteriously disappeared. We have reason to believe that Tony's time machine has been activated last week, sending one or possibly several armed suspects back into the 40s. The mission is to find and bring them back to this timeline, where they will be dealt with by our laws and regulations without causing more trouble."

"What makes you think they're hiding out in the 40s?" Bucky speaks up for what feels like the first time today. I dig my nails into my clothed thigh, trying hard not to think about how deep and smooth Bucky's voice is.

Bucky is figuratively perfect, it's hard to believe that he's walking around like this without a girl on his arm. Or maybe he already has someone - which would justify him turning me down.

I tell myself it would hurt less if he was already taken.

"I'm not actually sure," says Sam. "That kid - Spiderman - or whatever kids like to call themselves these days - pretty much handles all of Stark's leftover equipment and labs. He says that's where they're at." Sam finishes with a shrug.

"So, let me get this straight," I clear my throat. "You want us to undergo this incredibly dangerous mission in completely uncharted territory just because some kid's got a hunch?"

From the corner of my eye, I can almost see Bucky nodding along with my words, equally displeased.

"It's not uncharted - our team has done this before to bring everybody back." argues Sam.

"And how many of them came back?" I snap, remembering red hair. Ballerina slippers. Knowing green eyes.

I feel both men flinch beside me.

"That was different." rumbles Bucky from the far end of the table.

That wound is too fresh, too deep.

"Don't." I retort. "My best friend didn't die just for us to use that goddamn machine like a toy." Of course, we all know who I'm talking about. Plus, Yelena will kick both of their asses if she hears about this, which makes me wonder if that's why she isn't included in this mission.

"Not us," Sam quips.

"What was that?"

"Not "us"," Sam repeats again, voice loud and clear the second time. "Just you."

"Absolutely not." Bucky interrupts, sitting up and fixating Sam with a glare harboring the force of a thousand suns.

Sam ignores Bucky, taking a seat across from me, "I can't go, things are still too tender for me to just disappear for days on end. They'll appoint a new Captain America and storm in to put us all in prison again if they think we're weak," he goes on, taking a gentle hold of my other arm extended across the table.

"Bucky would get recognized by someone within minutes, it's too complicated." Sam continues.

"Sam," Bucky warns from the other end of the room.

"You're our only option." Sam finishes with another sigh. He did that a lot lately, I noted.

"It's not happening. Y/n, tell him you're not going to do it." Bucky's authoritative voice echoes around the conference room. A sense of urgency I can't begin to analyze is there too.

I contemplate.

"Y/N." Bucky speaks again, something that was beginning to get on my nerves.

"How dangerous is this equipment again?" I ask Sam, ignoring the forceful sigh from the other end of the room. I didn't care what Bucky thought about me in that moment. Who was he to choose for me, anyway?

"I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't serious." Sam affirms. I know this too, Sam is above all things reliable.

"Well, let's see," I pretend to draw a score board in the air with my finger, "In the event of my death, my family will be heavily compensated. That's one." I shrug.

Bucky's chair scrapes against the floor as he crosses the room to where Sam and I are sitting. "Tell me you're not actually considering this."

Under different circumstances I would have believed that he was pleading.

"I've got nothing to do this week and no one waiting for me at home. Two and three," I drop two more points in the imaginary "pros" side of the board.

"Guess I'm in." I flash Sam my signature grin, one he did not return.

"Y/N, No." Bucky orders.

"No one's talking to you!" I snap, whipping my head around to face him directly for the first time today.

He had let a strong stubble grow over the weekend and now looked disheveled on the whole - I quickly push away thoughts of him waking from nightmares, alone and shivering, too stubborn to call me.

His gorgeous blue eyes widen and freeze over as he takes a step toward me.

"Are you doing this to get back at me?"

"Not everything's about you, Barnes." I say, "Sam, I'm in. Let's fuckin' do this."

--

Let me know what you think & if you want pt2 with 40s Bucky :)

[tinalbion]

'𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞' ||

Part 2 of 'The Sweetest Sin'

𝐏��𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Logan Howlett/ The Wolverine x afab!Reader

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞! Minors, DO NOT interact! Smut with plot, afab!reader, mutant!reader, unprotected p in v, outdoor sex, cowgirl, doggy style against the Honda Odessey, creampies, some possessive Logan, canon typical language, angst, feelings, talks of death, Deadpool and Wolverine spoilers, Cassandra doing her little finger fun, domestic Logan and Wade, happy ending

𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡: 9.1k

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You, Logan, and Wade are taken to an unknown hideout in the borderlands, and you find some unlikely help to take down Cassandra. There's definitely tension between you and Logan now, but you know there's something in him that can't deny that shot of getting back. Will anyone be able to convince him, and if so, what does that mean for you?

A few readers on Ao3 requested a part 2 to this and I wanted to make a part 2 SO badly! So here it is! I hope you enjoy it!

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

You didn't recall falling asleep in the back of the piece of garbage that was the Honda Odyssey, you didn't even remember Deadpool showing up and snuggling between you two as he passed out, waiting for one of you to wake up. Surprisingly, he didn't bother to wake either of you, not when it was clear you two just fucked your brains out in this God-forsaken vehicle. What a shame he hadn't been invited, but Wade was proud of his little Peanut for stepping up and being the big man, in more ways than one. 

As Deadpool slipped in between you two, somehow managing to make himself as comfortable as possible, none of you felt the car move, or drive away from its parked state, nor did you feel it when someone obviously picked all three of you up and took you into this strange place. 

You awoke to a strange room, discarded on a random bed in the middle of a strange building, looking as if it were any other apartment with several roommates. It was lived in, that was for sure, liquor bottles and beer cans were spread about the place. You looked around and couldn't imagine who would be here but all three of you had made it here, so that must have meant you found the people you needed to find. Or at least, they found you.

The three of you must have been thrown onto the same bed considering you woke up next to Deadpool, passed out, cuddled under a golden blanket, but there was no Logan. You looked around and saw him standing near a window, an open liquor bottle in his hand as he leaned against the wall, staring into the morning light.  A small smile played on your lips as you carefully pushed yourself off of the bed so as not to disturb Wade, and then you walked over toward Logan. 

He obviously heard you coming but didn't acknowledge you, not yet, he was still wallowing in self-pity as he drank away his feelings yet again. The vicious cycle continued. 

You stepped next to him and stared out the window for a moment, adjusting to being awake as you let out a yawn. “Any idea where we are?” You asked softly, your head turning to meet his. 

Logan shook his head. “Nope, but they're pretty well stocked, that's all that matters to me.” I scoffed and threw his head back, taking a large swig of Jim Beam.

With your hands fidgeting, he could tell you wanted to say something, probably about yesterday and what you two had done. He figured it was coming, and he'd thought about it for the while he'd been awake; he had every intention of remaining by your side, even if their timeline was going to shit and the X-Men were dead, he had you, he realized that now. 

“Go ahead and say what you wanna say, bub, may as well before the Mouth wakes up,” he grumbled softly. 

You chuckled at the nickname, finding it fitting for Wade, but you sighed and nodded. He was right, you weren't sure where this would end up for the both of you, so you had to say what you needed to say. 

“Logan, I know that you're probably wanting to forget yesterday ever happened, and I get it, but I never will. The fact still stands: I love you. Nothing's gonna change that, I don't care how bad you think you are, I see more than that.” 

Logan sighed and looked over at you, catching your gaze as you stared over at him, and his expression softened at the mere sight of you. How blind he'd been to your dedication, your love, your kindness… he wasn't used to being wanted anymore, he was used to being the town fuck up, the one everyone could sneer at and blame for their problems. 

“You really are somethin’ else,” he sighed and shook his head, not sure what to say to your words. “But I don't wanna forget yesterday, I just… I want to go back to our world and have it fixed. Then maybe… maybe I'd be worth your love for me.” He didn't look at you, his eyes stared out the window, the bottle still in hand. 

You sighed and stepped closer, your hand now resting gently on the back of his shoulder. “Logan, I–”

“Thor!” Wade gasped suddenly, pulling you both out of your conversation. He looked around in confusion and stared over at you both. “Oh, well lookie here, if it isn't the lovebirds.” 

You groaned at Wade and shook your head. “Don't start,” you warned. 

“Oh no, I'm not starting anything, I swear! Just wondering why it smelled a lot like sweat, bodily fluids, and regret in the back of that car,” he said, his tone chipper, knowing very well what happened in the back of that damn car. 

Logan turned toward him and glared at Wade but said nothing, you, on the other hand, let out an annoyed groan. “How about figuring out where we are instead of grilling me about what happened in the Honda?” You asked with a sharp tone. 

“And where’s the fun in that?!” He asked with a laugh that followed. “Come on, I mean, I normally don’t kiss and tell, but you sorta made it quite evident all over those seats. Was he any good, Baby Lee?” You could imagine the face he wore under that mask, the way he stared at you, expecting something out of his question, all you could do was laugh.

“Wade, shut up,” you huffed, but you gave him a face that indicated that Logan was in fact very good, and you hoped Logan didn’t see the face you made.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get all the juicy, wet, intimate details later.” Wade just laughed and looked around, checking the place out. “Well, do we know where we are?” He asked.

“No clue, but I like it here,” Logan replied gruffly as he held up the bottle for Wade to see. 

As soon as Wade was about to speak, there was a commotion coming from across the room as if someone was about to enter. You and Wade ran toward the door and got into a fighting stance, but the woman burst forth and immediately put Wade in his place as she easily flipped him over and held her sai sword to his throat as you backed off, raising your hands in surrender. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Deadpool gasped and held up a hand. He scrambled to his feet and stared at the woman, who seemed to retract her blade from his face, but she kept her eyes on him. She was dangerous, poised, and ready to strike if needed. 

You looked over at her in awe, admiring her, until someone else walked into the room, and the tension only picked up once he laid eyes on you both. His gaze was hidden under a pair of sunglasses, but that didn’t make his stare any less overwhelming. 

Then a small card flew through the air, glowing a hazy purple until a hand reached out and caught it. The man who stepped forward still seemed intimidating, but more boyish in nature, though your body relaxed slightly as it seemed they didn’t mean harm. All three of them stared at the three of you, and you couldn’t help but look back at Logan, who seemed slightly on edge by their presence. He lingered in the back near the rest of the liquor bottles, away from the crowd of people. 

“Okay… Look at you… all. You must be the others. Terrific.” Deadpool was unsure of who these people were, but after hearing about other survivors in the borderlands who worked against Cassandra, he had higher hopes. 

As they went down the line and introduced themselves, you remained in the middle, sticking close to Logan like a protective animal while you kept your attention to the new people ahead. Deadpool did a lot of the questioning, but whenever they spoke of taking on Cassandra, Logan always had something to say, and he would have rather spent his time wallowing away in here, surrounded by the booze. 

“You know, we never had a Wolverine up in here,” the card dealer called Gambit stated. But I can tell you now, it’s just a common courtesy to ask before you drink up all of my liquor.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t give a fuck,” Logan replied and slowly lifted the bottle toward his lips. 

Before you could say anything to scold him in any way, Gambit chuckled to himself and with a quick snap of his wrist, threw one of the playing cards directly into the glass, causing the bottle to shatter. You took a step toward Logan, knowing he could have gotten angry if he let it get to him, but he tossed the broken bottle neck aside and grabbed another full bottle.

“Boo boo boo,” he said in a sing-song voice, smiling like the cocky son of a bitch he was.  

“Look, now that that’s settled, we came a long way to find you three-” Deadpool started.

“There’s four of us,” Elektra corrected. 

“Wait, is it Magneto?” Deadpool gasped, hoping and praying it was one of the strongest X-Men. “Dear sweet God in heaven, let it be Magneto, because with him-” Wade pressed his hands into a prayer and sighed. 

“He’s dead,” Blade said, completely deadpan.

“Fuck! Well, uh, who brought us here?” Deadpool asked, feeling a little more hopeless than three seconds ago.

A voice came from behind them all. “That would be me.” A slender figure came from the shadows of the staircase and descended, walking into the room, everyone was insanely quiet as she revealed herself. “Don’t make me regret it.”

Your eyes watched her, and you felt something familiar looking into her eyes. Deadpool, on the other hand, seemed almost speechless.

“Holy shit, Logan, that’s her, that’s X-23. She’s the one I told you about.”

You were there for that uncomfortable conversation yesterday, hearing how the Logan from Wade’s universe had sacrificed himself for this child, who they presumed to be his daughter, her genes taken from his DNA. Made in a lab. Experimented on. Like the other mutants you’d known, she wasn’t safe. But Logan had saved her and many other kids who grew up in that lab, giving them a fighting chance as he sacrificed himself, finally being granted the peace he probably wanted in that universe. 

The thought of it made your heart ache, imagining the scene unfolding, but you looked back at Logan and saw the conflict in his eyes, the intense look they both shared. You looked between the two and felt something you couldn’t quite place. 

The rest of the group began to talk about how they could get out of the Void and back home, all while you, X-23, and Logan had somewhat circled around one another, sticking to the back of the room. You looked at her and saw just how much of Logan was in her, it was almost a spitting image, and your stomach twisted.

Your attention was taken back by the group talking about getting through to Cassandra, and they wanted to get the ending they deserved, they would fight for the freedom they deserved. Deadpool had somehow convinced them to fight through Cassandra’s defenses, get to Juggernaut’s helmet, and get her to send them back. Deadpool laughed happily and looked back toward the three of you. 

“X-23, what’s it gonna be?!”

“The name’s Laura. Let’s fucking go.”

Deadpool clenched his fists together with glee and repeated: “Let’s fucking go.”

The group had all decided that they’d leave in the morning, whether they wanted your and Logan’s help or not, it was already set for them. They would get what they fought for or die trying. Logan had to commend them, even a little bit, they were brave. Stupid, but brave. As they all scattered a bit to come up with a plan, Laura lingered for a moment and stared at you, then at Logan, and then she walked off with the rest of them. 

When they all walked off, leaving you two alone in the room, Logan grumbled in annoyance and stalked off toward the exit. You called out for him to wait, but he didn’t listen, he was feeling confused and hated the way that Laura looked at him, like she knew him, like she had already formed an opinion about him. If she was smart, she’d stay away, but no one ever really did. All they did was complicate things, and bring him more pain and suffering, so he planned on getting blackout drunk alone.

Logan sat out by the fire as he held onto a bottle of Johnny Walker, his eyes glued to the embers, his mind miles away from everything. You figured since Wade was too busy with everything going on, he was distracted enough to give you enough time to talk to him alone since you’d been interrupted earlier. You took your time and waited to see if anyone would call out for you, thankfully they didn’t need you, so you stood up from one of the chairs near the poolside and walked toward the door as quietly as you could. 

Your steps weren’t muted in the slightest with the leaves crunching beneath your steps, but you stopped and hid behind one of the nearby trees as you saw Laura walking toward Logan already. You didn’t mean to intrude, but you also didn’t want to piss him off and bother him either.

He lifted his head to see Laura and waved his hand dismissively. “Hey, I’m not lookin’ for company. Get out of here.” He grumbled.

Laura laughed. “You remind me of him. Angry, drunk, mean-”

“Sounds like a great guy-” Logan interrupted.

“I wasn’t finished.” She looked back at the fire and stared at it for a moment, collecting her thoughts, and she wasn’t good with sharing them much like he wasn’t. “He showed up when it mattered the most. Couldn’t help it. You might not know it, but you’re a good man, Logan.” Her voice was soft but stern, telling him how she viewed him, no matter the universe, there was that strong belief she had that this Logan was no different.

Logan just chuckled and shook his head. “You might not know it, but apparently I’m the worst Logan.”

“I got to have a life because of you. I got to grow up because of you. A lot of kids did.”

“A lot of kids didn’t grow up because of me,” he retorted, his gaze still set on the fire before him. “Trust me, kid, I’m no hero.”

Laura sighed and looked back over at the man. “That suit says different.”

Logan looked down at the destroyed suit, the one he wore every single day beneath his clothes as a reminder of the pain he’d caused. “Yeah, ya like it? Scott used to beg me to wear it. So did Jean, Storm, Beast. All of ‘em. Wanted me to be part of the team. Told them they all looked fuckin’ ridiculous.” He sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly. “I couldn’t have them thinkin’ I wanted to be there. Then one day, I was off on my own, then the humans came and went mutant hunting.” His expression dropped, there was no longer sarcasm or disdain, but pain and sorrow.

“I can guess the rest,” Laura said softly.

You still stood behind the tree and listened closely to what Logan was saying, finally realizing that he was acknowledging what happened to you both, the losses you both took. You slowed your breathing so you could hear him properly, afraid that if you’d done anything to cause a distraction, you would never get to hear this again.

“No, no. Let… let me say it, I n- I need to say it.” Logan’s voice began to break, his eyes turned glassy and he felt the sting of tears welling in the corners of his eyes, but he stared ahead and recalled everything. “By the time I stumbled home shit-faced from the bar, it was too late. They were dead, every…” He paused, his voice wavering with pain, the dryness in his throat stung as he tried to come to terms with it all.  “This suit’s all I got to remind me of who they were. And what I did. And when I look at Star, it hurts because I see the disappointment, the hurt I caused…”

You tried not to cry too loudly as you leaned your body against the tree, you sighed softly, wiping away the falling tears as you finally heard Logan admit to it all out loud. When you were back home, he avoided talking about it like the plague, but having this young woman here who could very well be his daughter of sorts, looking at him like that, it made him want to open up. And that made you happy. It wasn’t opening up to you, but he was opening up, and that was something beautiful in itself. You let out another small sigh and closed your eyes as you leaned your head against the tree.

Logan sniffled but took another long swig of the drink in his hand and tried to steel himself once again. Laura looked over at him with understanding, she had witnessed pain in her Logan’s life as well, and she understood as well as he would. 

“We’re headed to Cassandra’s at sun up,” she finally said.

“Have fun” Logan huffed. “Not my fight.”

Laura leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees as her gaze was intense. “We won’t pull this off without you.” She stood up in a swift motion and began her walk back to the hideout. 

Logan looked over at her and sighed. “Hey, whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy.”

The young woman stopped and turned back to look at him, her face still reserved as she saw the shell of a man sitting in front of the fire. “You were always the wrong guy. Till you weren’t.” She turned back and made her way back to the hideout, leaving you and him alone once more. 

You waited for a few moments as he continued to sit by the fire, his eyes still glued to the flames that flickered and licked away at the firewood, and with a deep breath, you barely moved out from your spot when you heard Logan’s voice. 

“You can come sit down,” he said firmly. 

Shit. He knew you were there, this entire time, he knew. And just maybe… he finally confessed all of that to Laura because he knew you were there, you needed to hear it come from him, even if it was indirectly. Logan sat on the large log and continued to listen to your footsteps, he could even hear the sound of your heartbeat quickening as you got closer, but he didn’t say anything about it. 

As you sat down on the log beside him where Laura had been, you didn’t look over toward him yet, you continued to stare off at the fire until you felt it was right to speak, but even then you were unsure. “It wasn’t your fault, you know,” you said softly. “You may have felt as if you’d abandoned us, but, you didn’t. I know things are complicated for you, feelings and emotions, but I know you wouldn’t have let them all die on purpose. And I'm not disappointed in you, if I was, I wouldn't be here.”

Logan looked over at you and sighed, his hand still wrapped around that damned bottle as he just stared. “I heard them screamin’ for me, Star, as the mansion burned to the ground. They all screamed and I hid. I hid because-”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t cause it, you didn’t allow the humans to come in and do what they did. How would you have known?” You asked, swinging your body to face him, staring with intensity. “How were you supposed to know?”

“I should have known!” He spat in defense. “I should have and I didn’t! I could have, I dunno, sniffed them out and followed my gut instincts when I knew something was off. But instead, I got shit-faced and ignored it. Ignored them and you.” He hung his head, the bottle lowered, and he placed a hand over his face as he tried so desperately to keep the tears in. This wasn’t who he was, he needed to live with this guilt, he needed to live with it every day to ensure he’d never forget.

Your gaze softened as you scooted right next to him, then wrapped an arm around him as you leaned your head on his shoulder. “Logan, you beat yourself up for it but just know, even in the end, they still cared about you. No one thought you were a bad guy, you’re not a bad guy, you’re in pain… and I hate seeing you in pain.” You sighed and closed your eyes, holding onto him with as much strength as you could muster as your hand rubbed comforting circles across his back. 

The edge he always had was breaking, the hardness from the anger he felt daily had been calming down thanks to you, and it was only for a moment that Logan finally allowed himself to sigh heavily as a few tears fell. You wouldn’t comment on it, you’d give him the time he needed to recuperate and pull himself back together like you always had, giving him the support and the space he needed. 

But you couldn’t stop your own tears from falling, ones not out of sadness, but out of acceptance. You heard that Logan confessed aloud how terrible he felt, how conflicted he’d been because of all of this, he wasn’t able to process the tragedy you’d both lived through so easily. It hurt you the most because you had to see the man you loved suffering, blaming himself, and adding more to his trauma. But you wanted to be there, you had to be there for him, to prove he deserved the good with all that bad, and as you’d told him in that car, you would be there every day if you had to to remind him of that. 

“I got you, Logan,” you whispered softly, smiling as your eyes remained closed and your arm tightened around him. “I’m glad I got to live, I’m glad I got to be here for you when no one else could be. And Wade, he doesn’t seem all that bad, either, he’s a lot like you in a way. He wants to help, deep down.” 

Logan scoffed and shook his head, almost offended by the comparison, but he didn’t respond, he just sat back and listened to you, your voice. It grounded him in moments like these now, and he was thankful he had that. After a while, Logan’s arm wrapped around you and pulled you closer to him, his side pressed against yours as you both looked at the fire. He allowed himself this personal pleasure as he nuzzled against your hair, your scent making him think of the good days before it was all so fucked up, and it was peaceful. He hadn’t experienced peace in so long. 

“I hope you can forgive me,” he said softly, his lips pressed to your hair as he gently kissed you, his eyes still fixated on the flames. 

“I have nothing you need forgiveness for, Logan,” you replied. 

His arm tightened around you, your face pressed against the fabric of his damaged suit. He relished in the feeling of you in his arms, the way you fit so perfectly against him, the scent of your hair filled his senses as he closed his eyes momentarily. He exhaled as he reached up to slowly stroke your hair, playing with the locks between his fingers. 

“I hope they can forgive me,” he said sadly. “I think about that every day, wondering if they’d see how much it fucked me up, how bad I wanna take it back…”

“Oh, Logan, they wouldn’t blame you, okay? They would never blame you, they cared about you despite how you pushed them away, not wanting to hurt them, and you took care of them till the end. You can’t say it’s your fault when it wasn’t, it was the humans.” 

He sighed again and pulled your head closer, kissing your hair once more. “I know that I hurt you though, I know I hurt them, but I hurt you the most. The one person who I had a chance to show that I was more than what I thought I was, and I fucked it up. I took it all for granted…” He sighed heavily and tried to fight back the negativity, but it was sinking in again, but you caught on.

You sat up, pulling away from his grasp as you placed your hands on either side of his face. “Logan, stop, don’t do that. You were suffering, okay? And I get that, you weren’t used to people being there, treating you like you deserved. That’s why I stayed, I always saw you more than others may have thought. You were in need of someone to be there for you like you were there for others. Like Rogue, like Charles, you were there for them despite feeling you shouldn’t be. Let me be here for you, please, Logan.”

He sighed heavily and tried to accept your words, the emotion behind them tearing away at him, clawing through to the depths as he sat there with you looking at him as if he was the most important thing to ever exist in this timeline, and the next.

“I think we should try to get home,” you said softly as your hand came to rest on his chest. “We should help them get to Cassandra. We can’t run anymore, I’m tired of it, aren’t you?”

“I’m tired too, Star, tired of runnin’,” he mumbled as he placed the bottle down beside the log, wrapping both arms around you and pulling you in tightly. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, feeling the weight of his mind channeling through his embrace. He rested his head on top of yours as he sat there with you in his arms, wishing you both could go back and he could do things differently. His fingers gently massaged your scalp as he held you tight against him, stroking your hair and allowing his fingers to caress your head gently. 

“I know,” he replied gently, his voice low and husky. “You don’t have to.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from pressing your face to his chest, feeling safe in the comfort of his arms as he held onto you, and you let out a small hum of contentment as you felt Logan allowing himself to feel what he wanted to feel instead of what he thought he deserved. “I don’t wanna let you go, Logan,” you whispered softly. 

Logan pulled away to look at you, his gaze locked with yours as he offered a ghost of a smile. He slowly reached out, his fingertips gently traced along your jawline, his touch sent a shiver down your spine. 

“Logan,” you said softly, “should we…?” You trailed off, the feeling of his fingers against your skin taking over your entire mind, causing you to lose your train of thought.

He noticed the way his touch affected you, the way you responded so well to a gesture so simple, it made a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as his eyes were still locked on yours. “I know, I know, but can you blame me? Especially after yesterday?” He asked, his fingertips still tracing your jawline, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. 

“What if they see us?” You asked him, not really believing that would stop either of you at this moment. The tension between you both was palpable, and he didn’t want to lose this feeling. You bit your lip in contemplation, trying to decide if you two would have enough time to get away with anything.  

“I know,” he said huskily, his voice strained with his own internal battle. “But you’re makin’ it damn near impossible to hold back when you’re lookin’ at me like that, princess.” Logan’s breath caught in his throat as he heard your heart beginning to beat faster within your chest, only signaling that you wanted it, too. 

You let out your own sigh and nodded, the blush creeping into your cheeks as your attention was now solely focused on him. “I can’t blame you, I feel the same right now…”

“Then why are we fightin’ this? If we really are gonna go after this bald chick, what if we end up stayin’ here or worse? You think I could forgive myself for not showin’ you just how much I need you?” One of his hands moved to your side, resting gently on your hip until his fingers dug into you. “I can’t fight the hold you got on me, doll. Give in to what we both want,” he murmured, his words a soft plea.

“Logan,” you sighed softly as you leaned in closer, thinking of all the ways you wanted him, all the ways you could show him just how much you loved him. Your eyes stared into his, half-lidded, filled with desire as you fought back to push him down right there.

The way you said his name like that, tinged with raw desire, it was all the encouragement he needed. Logan’s hand on your hip tightened further, and a guttural moan escaped his throat as he closed the remaining distance between you both, pressing his body against yours with a restraining need. He kissed you back with a fervor that surprised even him, his mouth devouring yours as his hands dug into your skin. 

Your breaths were short and fast, wanting nothing more than to taste him, to feel him, wanting to enjoy every moment you had with him before tomorrow. You couldn’t silence the soft groan you released against his lips as your hands reached up and tangled into his shorter hair, pulling on his gently while your tongues battled one another. 

Logan’s chest rumbled with a primal groan as you pulled at his hair, the feeling of your fingers buried in his locks sent a pleasurable shiver down his spine. He deepened the kiss, his tongue invaded your mouth as he claimed it with his own. 

He let out a frustrated growl as his hands gripped your sides, pulling you flush against his body as he made you straddle his waist, spreading your thighs wide open with his large hands. His eyes stared into yours, taking that moment to look deep within yours to make sure this was what you wanted, that he was what you wanted. He’d give you the opportunity to take it back if you wanted, even just that one day with him would have been enough for him to live off of. He leaned in, his lips brushed yours hesitantly. “You really want this?” He asked, checking one more time. 

You nodded in confirmation and pushed your lips against his, kissing him deeply to only signify your answer as his arms wrapped around you to pull you closer. He deepened the kiss between you both, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you moaned against his lips. His hands roamed across your back, settling at your backside as he pressed against you, showing you how hard he already was. He broke the kiss briefly, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his voice hoarse with need. “Need you to take those off,” he instructed. 

You pulled away and shrugged out of your top, undoing the intricate latches and buttons, making sure each part of the uniform remained intact as you tossed it aside as Logan worked quickly on his. You were both impatient and wanted nothing more than to tear at each other, to feel each other in that closeness once more, feeling his hands and mouth on you in ways you’d only dreamed of. Once he was back on the log, his pants undone and slightly pulled down to accommodate you, he pulled you back into his lap while your soaked folds rubbed gently against him. Logan hissed through his teeth, his fingers dug into your hips as he encouraged your movements, coating his cock in your sweet juices as you ground your hips against his. 

“Yes, just like that,” he grumbled, his head leaned back with his eyes closed. 

You continued to rub yourself against him, slowly and gently pushing against him, almost having him slip inside of you to only then pull away. He was dripping with pre-cum as he twitched with every lost touch, he needed you and did not like how long he had to wait. 

His eyes rolled back and he let out a guttural groan as he felt the warmth of your wetness rubbing against him. “Fuck, I need you, no more teasin’,” he demanded, his voice strained as his fingers dug into the flesh of your hips. “Please, sit on me.”

The moan you released was almost feral as you lifted your hips, slowly sliding down onto his cock, which caused you to groan out his name a little louder than intended. He was impatient and thrust deep inside of you, his hands slamming you down onto him. “Oh fuck, Logan, you’re gonna ruin me…”

His grip never loosened as he guided you up and down on his thick length. “Good, that’s the plan. Wanna ruin you for anyone else,” he growled possessively, his eyes locked onto yours. His pace quickened as he slammed you down onto him again and again, and it was funny that you thought you had any control here. 

Your body slumped forward as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling your body against his, your hands and breasts pressed tautly against his chest as you leaned your head against his shoulder. His hips fucked up into you, pulling out those sweet sounds he heard from you yesterday, smiling like a cocky bastard with every gasp and whine you released. He went on like this for ages, dragging it out, slowing his pace when he saw you were getting too lost in the moment, and he laughed at your faces when you got upset with his teasing.

After a while, he pulled you into a heated kiss, groaning against your lips as he playfully bit your bottom lip, swiping his tongue against yours as his hips continued to piston up into yours. You were soaked, his thighs covered in your slick as he felt his abdomen tightening. 

“Please, Logan- Coming soon!” You managed to say between each slap, his hips relentlessly pounding into you. 

“Look at me, wanna see your face.” 

You snapped your head up, your gaze locked onto him as you tried your best not to break the stare, but it was difficult to hold on when he was pounding into you mercilessly. His low grunts and growls mixed with your gasps and whines only made everything so much sweeter. His face contorted in pleasure as his thrusts became erratic as he buried himself deep and growled as he released. His entire body stiffened for a moment as he finally chased his release, filling you up as your walls milked every last drop. “Fuck,” he growled as he leaned his forehead against your shoulder. “

You continued to ride him until you had finally chased your release shortly after his, and your cries died down to soft moans as your hips gently slowed to a gentle grind, smiling as you nuzzled your face against his. You hummed softly and closed your eyes, cuddling on his chest as you both took a few moments to rest. 

“You okay?” he asked after a few moments, his eyes slightly opened to look at you. 

A smile spread across your face and you nodded. “Better than okay,” you sighed in reply. “You?”

He grinned and pressed a kiss against your forehead. “Also better than okay. Not ready to pull out yet,” he mumbled and shifted his hips upward once, causing you to moan softly at the feeling. 

“No one said you had to,” you replied with a smile, hugging him as you rested against him. 

Logan’s eyes opened and he looked down at your mess of hair. “Weren’t you just worried about them seein’ us?” He asked, teasing you now.

You scoffed and smiled as your eyes remained closed. “I think the only one I’m worried about is Wade,” you grumbled and shifted a little, pushing yourself off of him to look into his eyes. Your smile only grew as you reached up to cup his cheek, feeling that overwhelming sense of comfort wash over you. He was allowing himself to feel for you, he was slowly tearing down that wall, and he was becoming Logan again. “Are you gonna come with us tomorrow?” you asked in a whisper.

His face peeked up at yours, his eyes filled with uncertainty while he rubbed comforting circles against your back. “Look, I dunno, I mean, it’s not somethin’ I should be involved in…”

You sighed and rested your head against his shoulder. “Laura is right, you know. You are a good man, you’ll come through.”

Logan sighed and sat back with you wrapped in his arms, his softened length still buried inside of you, and here you were talking about all this complicated emotional shit. He looked past you, over your head at the building where the rest of them were, thinking of your words and Laura’s. If this was to happen, if he were to do this and fight alongside them, alongside you, then maybe he was worthy of wearing the suit. Logan leaned in, kissed the side of your head, and sighed again. “We’ll see,” he replied gently. “But first, I think I wanna have more of you.” He pulled back further to look down at you, smiling as you met his gaze. “Get up, put your hands on the car, princess.”

Your eyes widened as you pulled back to look at him. “On the car, huh?” You asked with a playful tone.

“Don't question me,” he said with a smile, bringing his hand down on your backside, and giving you a small slap. “Up.”

You huffed and slowly pulled off of him, smiling as you both stared at each other while you stood over him. Then, you made your way to the hood of the car, standing with your legs spread apart and hands splayed on the hood. You looked over your shoulder at him as he approached, half of his suit hanging off him. He stopped behind you, slowly pumping himself in his hand as he looked at your body. All of the curves, the dips, the way you reacted just for him, it drove him crazy. The fact he'd been missing out on this for so long had made him feel foolish, how could he have looked past this the entire time? 

Logan growled appreciatively at the sight of you bent over the Honda, your back arched and your hair hung over your face as you looked over at him. He ran his hands over your rear, squeezing gently before he parted your cheeks to reveal your back entrance and your dripping wet core. "So beautiful..."

"Mhm and all yours, Wolvie, now come on, don't make me wait, I need you." You hummed seductively, looking over your shoulder at him, your legs shaking with excitement. 

Logan's eyes met yours, filled with primal possession. "All mine..." He growled possessively. He lined himself up with your opening and slowly pushed inside, his hands gripping your hips for leverage while he took his time, gradually pushing deeper and deeper until he was fully sheathed inside you. He started to move, pulling out slowly before slamming back inside you with a grunt. He set a brutal pace, pounding into you from behind with powerful thrusts while his hands never left your hips, holding you in place as he took you hard and fast. 

"Fuck, you're so tight... so fucking perfect..." Logan's grip on your hips tightened as he increased his pace, his movements became jerky and uncoordinated. “Tell me you’re gonna come, princess,” he gritted out, his voice strained with passion as he reached between you both and began to play with your clit. 

You could barely contain your cries and moans of pleasure, you were no longer afraid of being found out, you were too lost in the pleasure of it all. Your body shook and reacted so well to his touch, it was as if he’d navigated your body so well over the years that he knew which of your buttons to push. It was impressive, he had studied you, it seemed. Your head turned to look over your shoulder, your eyes lust-filled and hooded as you tried your best to speak between each hard thrust. “Logan, gonna come soon-” you cautioned. 

Logan let out a feral growl and buried his face in the back of your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your middle to hold you even closer as he rutted against your ass. He continued his assault as his hips bucked wildly, nearing his edge as he made sure you were close behind. “C’mon, pretty girl, I know you can give me another one,” he hummed against your neck, kissing it as one arm still clung around your middle, and the other played with your clit, already clenching against him. 

You couldn’t hold on anymore while his large fingers rubbed you so well, or the way he fucked into you as if his life depended on it, you came undone within moments. With a final few thrusts, Logan buried himself to the hilt and found his release, yours chasing soon after as he spilled himself inside of you, and growled low against your neck. His body convulsed with the aftershocks, his hips slowly ground against your ass as his arms tightly wound around your middle again. Your breathing was heavy, and your body was warm thanks to him, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Logan collapsed onto your back, his body heavy and languid as he nuzzled into your neck, still holding the majority of his weight so as not to crush you. His arms released your waist as he slowly withdrew from your body, allowing you a moment to adjust. You stood up and tried to regain your balance, your hand gripped onto Logan’s arm, smiling as he helped steady you until you were well off on your feet. 

Something inside of him awoken as he looked down at you, covered in sweat, smelled of smoke and his scent, looking up at him like you were… He was a fool, but you accepted him, every part of him, he was your fool. “Sorry, I’ve been so fuckin’ blind, Star,” he mumbled as he pulled you against him, wrapping his large arms around you as he placed a kiss on your forehead. This was the softest he’d ever been, he didn’t want any of the others to see, but you were worth getting caught for. Logan sighed and stood there with your face buried against his chest. 

“So, you coming with us?” You asked once more, your voice soft, and vulnerable, but you wanted to have him there with you.

“Don’t push it,” he warned, a playful edge to his tone. “C’mon, we gotta get you cleaned up.”

“So does that mean you’re coming back inside?” you asked with a smile. 

Logan shook his head and looked back at the car. “Think I’ll sleep out here for some peace and quiet.”

“Could I join you, then?”

How could he deny you? He smiled and nodded once, rolling his shoulders. “Since you asked so nicely,” he replied and kissed your head again, then walked over to hand you the top half of your outfit. He helped you get back into it and smiled down at you when he zipped up the front half, his hand lingering on you a little longer than usual, his eyes stared down and traced over your features, he just couldn’t believe he had reasons to look elsewhere when you were right here.

“What?” You finally asked with a smile on your lips, staring up at him curiously.

Logan just hummed and shook his head. “Nothin’, c’mon, let’s go and clean up.”

You turned from him first to walk back to the hideout, but you peeked over your shoulder at him, smiling wider as you held out your hand for him, waiting for him to take it. As he stared at you, thinking of all the things that he should have done, the look you gave him had wanted him to think about the future. To fight for a future if you were in it. So he slid his hand in yours, gripped it tight, and gave a gentle squeeze as he trailed along beside you as you both made your way inside as quietly as possible. 

The battle was exhaustive, you had fought alongside your new friends, making sure they were safe enough to get the package to them, and then you followed behind Wade and Logan to confront Cassandra. Wade was knocked out on the side of the room as Logan was stuck on all fours, Cassandra sticking her weird hate-filled fingers inside of Logan’s mind. His yells and guttural screams of torment caused you to panic until the bag flew into Wade’s hand as Laura disappeared from the window. 

You were frozen as you heard his yells, the echoes of the screams you heard from your friends as they pleaded for their lives, you felt the guilt Logan carried with him as you watched the scene unfolding, but the call from Wade snapped you out of your daze.

“Baby Lee, here!” He groaned as he slid the bag toward you, the heavy metal helmet hitting the side of your foot. 

You bent down and snatched it from the bag, then you ran up behind Cassandra as you plopped the large helmet over her head while Wade scrambled to your side, recovered from being knocked out, and held onto her tightly. You stood close by to ensure she remained in his grasp, and boy did she scream when she was pulled out of her little mind games. The large, dark veins within her skin pulsated, her eyes glazed over and turned red as she screamed. 

“You’re gonna send us home, or I’m gonna twist your fuckin’ head off!” Deadpool threatened, his arms wrapped around her as he also held the helmet in place. 

Cassandra just laughed. “I can’t send you home unless you get this thing off my head… And as soon as you do that, I’m going to boil your brains on an atomic level… Either you kill me or I kill you, both wonderful options.” She said as she patted Wade’s arm.

The boys began to argue back and forth on who would end up killing the woman, but after a moment of back and forth, as you stood by and grumbled at their theatrics, Pyro came in and shot Cassandra four times in the stomach, bringing her closer to death than the other two actually did. After Logan punched his lights out, the blood poured from her mouth and she stared up at Logan in shock as he looked at Wade.

“Hey, hey, if I take this helmet off, do you promise not to kill us?”

“I promise I’ll kill you first thing!” She gasped and looked at you and Logan, smiling as the blood dripped from her mouth. 

Logan sighed, looked at them, and demanded that he take the helmet off to the point where he yelled at Wade, demanding once again to remove it. “I am wearing this suit and that means a lot of things, but most of all, I’m an X-Man. And I know your brother. As much as I wanna kill you, every bone in my body wants to FUCKING kill you, he would not let me stand here and watch you die!”

He placed his hands on the helmet and sighed. “This is for him, this is for Charles.”

He appealed to Cassandra, speaking of Charles as you stood off to the side, your expression filled with sadness, hearing about the professor again, feeling that heartbreak again. You felt bad for the woman before you, you wished she could have had that love she craved, but you just wanted to get all three of you home and back to your worlds.

As Cassandra spared you all, she gave you a head start of four seconds to jump through the portal back to New York, and all three of you ran. You wished the best for your friends as they watched you from below, but you could feel the excitement pumping as you ran and took off, flying through the air beside Logan. 

Maybe you all had a shot at being happy again, this time, together.

You went for the last slice of pizza at the same time Wade did, and you both stared each other down as your hands rested on the box. It had been a few weeks while you and Logan lived with Wade and his roommate Althea, you and Logan still waiting on an application for your own place to go through. Al didn’t seem to mind and neither did Wade, in fact, he preferred if you two stayed, but you needed your own space. Besides, sharing beds wasn’t exactly what you’d call fun with a blind woman who snored like a chainsaw going off in a construction zone, and an ADHD-riddled bigmouth who seemed to talk in his sleep. So for now, you all shared your dinner nights together at the table, and you and Wade were having an intense stare-down.

“You know, Baby Lee, I should get the last piece because I ended up having to do the dishes because someone couldn’t keep it in their pants,” Wade began his argument, smiling with a raised eyebrow.

You stared at him deadpan and continued to hold your ground. “Then what about last week when I had to do them because someone ended up putting his suit in the washing machine and fucking up the whites in the load, so I had to fix everything?”

“Well, now that’s just not fair-”

“Wade, give her the damn slice,” Logan grumbled as he chugged a cold beer, glaring over at the merc. 

“Oh, now that’s just favoritism!” He retorted.  

You smirked as you leaned slightly against Logan, showing him you appreciated the backup, but your eyes never left Wade’s. “Yeah, Wade, give me the slice,” you said sarcastically. 

What you both didn’t seem to realize as you bickered, Blind Al had snatched the slice and ate it herself, giving a small bite of it to Dogpool, who sat eagerly on Al’s lap. You two didn’t seem to mind much as Logan chuckled to himself, looking over at Al as she chewed away at the cheesy goodness while your argument grew more competitive by the minute. 

By the time you figured it out, you looked over at Logan with a pout and back at Wade. “This is your fault,” you grumbled.

“My fault?! Look here, missy-” Wade huffed and threw an empty solo cup at you.

You gasped and looked at him with a shocked expression, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners. “Oh that’s it, Wilson, you’re dead!” You laughed and launched toward him as he bolted away from you. 

Dogpool made some silly yapping noises as Logan sighed and shook his head, finishing his beer, watching as the life in your eyes came back, it had been steadily returning since your first time with Logan. He noticed the little things that changed in you, and you noticed the changes in him, too. He sat back with a smile as you and Wade fought like children, sort of enjoying the life that surrounded him now, appreciating the ways he and Wade were alike, the way you took care of them both, and just happy with the fact that Logan had felt as if he’d found peace.

That night, you were snuggled against him as you always were, head resting against his chest as you clung to him, but he’d been awake just looking at you. He would stare down at you, brush your loose hairs away from your face as he saw just how peaceful you’d looked, the way you could sleep without having to worry or remain on edge. He felt the same too, he felt safe now, and with you here, there wasn’t anything in the way to stop him. With you here in his arms, he felt that all was right, he’d gotten the ending he wanted, and he felt that your friends would have wanted him to be happy in some capacity. 

You stirred slightly, blinking slowly as you stared up at Logan, meeting his eyes. “Couldn’t sleep?” you asked softly.

His smile grew slightly and the corner of his mouth twitched. “No, I just was thinkin’ is all.”

You hummed in response and readjusted your body, looking up at him comfortably while you pulled the blanket up under your chin. “About what?”

“About how happy I am.”

“Happy, huh?” 

He chuckled and nodded, pulling you closer against his chest as his large arm wrapped around your back, his chin resting gently on your head. “As much as I thought this wasn’t possible like I wasn’t allowed to feel happy while the others… well, you know. But, I think it’s okay, this is okay…”

You smiled and closed your eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat as you placed your hand against his chest. “Everything is gonna be okay, Logan. I know it is because you’re here, and Wade is here for us, too.” 

He scoffed and nuzzled against your hair, closing his eyes, and smiling as he inhaled your scent, the inviting smell of you mingling with his own. As he lay there with you in his arms on the air mattress, he thought that you were right about it despite him not wanting to admit it, everything would work out in the end. It had so far, all thanks to Wade fuckin’ Wilson. 

“That’s good enough for me,” Logan mumbled softly. 

[reysdriver]

Come Home & We'll Talk | J.P.

part 2 of Behind The Venue; James comes home to ask you to stay with him — rockstar!james x fem!reader angst/fluff

warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of like sexual acts

words: 0.9k

a/n: sorry this took forever lol, y'all wanted a happy ending so here it is

You hadn’t looked at any social media since finding out about James and Lily, nor did you want to. Giving James a chance to tell you everything was better than surfing through a whole bunch of pity, lies, and other crap on the internet. 

You sent James a text—another thing you hadn’t checked since—and told him the only way you were willing to talk about what happened would be if he came home in the middle of the boys’ tour. 

You honestly hadn’t expected him to come back at all—let alone the next day—so when he showed up with a giant bouquet of pink roses, you reluctantly let him inside your shared flat. 

“I’m sorry, my love. I came back so you could hear that.” He told you, putting the flowers down on your kitchen table. 

“No, you came back because you got caught with Lily Evans and I told you I wouldn’t talk over the phone.”

He slumped his shoulders and took off his backpack. Was that all he brought back? He dropped it onto the floor by his feet, but looked hesitant to do anything else. 

“But I promise you I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything.”

Ignoring the flowers, you sat down on your couch and James followed, but stayed on the other side in case you didn’t want him to touch you. 

“How long has it been going on?” You asked sadly. Any preamble or excuses would just be bothersome, you just wanted to know the details. 

“Not long. It was just after a show in Lisbon, I was really missing you and Lily said we should all go out to a bar to cheer me up. We got drunk and did some stuff, but we never had sex.”

He knew that didn’t make it much better, but he was going to drop every detail that could help his case. 

“And how many times have you ‘done stuff’ since then?”

“Since Portugal, we haven’t done anything more than make out. It was only a few times, and I felt like shit every single time.” James admitted. “I should have told you—”

“Yeah, you should have.” You told him firmly. You would have felt strong if it weren’t for the shake in your voice with every word. “Instead, you let it get out to the whole world, and I had to find out through a bunch of your fans.” 

“I know. I was wrong. I’m a coward, my love. I was going to, but I kept worrying that you would leave me. I need you in my life.” 

“So much so that you went and messed around with her?”

“It was bloody stupid, I know. I already told her that anything we had is over, even if you don’t take me back. But, please, I’ll do anything for you to stay with me.”

As much as you hated to admit it, he seemed genuine. Like he really was sorry about what he did, like he really did need you. It wasn’t quite enough, but he was getting there. 

“Was she the only one? This was the only time?”

James sensed that you were starting to accept his apology, but he wasn’t going to smile and celebrate yet. “Yes, I promise. This was the only time it’s ever happened and it’ll be the last too.”

“How do I know that, Jamie?” 

“(y/n), I will let you cut my dick off if that’s what you need to believe I’ll never do it again.” He used his hands to act out the idea he had just described and it made you laugh through your persistent teary eyes. “I’ll let you keep my hands and feet tied any time I’m away from you?”

“Promise?”

“I promise. We aren’t doing any more shows with her band anymore, and I want you to come on the rest of the tour with us. The Marauders don’t need an opener, but I do need you.”

You already knew what you were going to say, but it was fun to tease him a bit after what he did. “And what if I don’t come with you? Then what would you do?”

“I won’t do anymore shows.” James said seriously. “I’ll stay here with you. I’ll make a million gestures to make it up to you—well, I’ll do that anyways, but I’ll just make a million gestures at home.” 

You scooted towards James’ side of the couch and picked up his hand to fidget with it. “Okay. I’ll come with you.” 

James needed to make sure he heard your mumbled words correctly and his ears weren’t just telling him what he wanted to hear. “You will? Really?”

“Yes.” You confirmed. “Mostly because your manager would be pissed and all your fans would be heartbroken if you missed all those shows.” 

You reached up to kiss him softly, thanking him for the apology and explanation. 

“And you’re not mad at me?” He asked as you kissed his cheek. “You forgive me?” 

“I trust that you won’t do it again and I’m staying with you, but you have a lot to do to make up for everything.”

“I’ll do anything.” He leaned down to kiss you again. It was more passionate than when you kissed him; he knew he had a lot more to thank you for than you did to him. 

He let off your lips and gestured to the kitchen with a nod of his head. “And you saw the flowers? You like them?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Yes, James, I saw the flowers. They’re very pretty.” 

“Good, ‘cause there’s a bouquet coming from every tour stop for you.”

[inlovewithmyhyperfixations]

family

When Remus thought of family, he thought of James's smile, that smile that could light up cities and his pep talks that made everyone smile and laugh

He thought of Peter, whose mischievous ideas could cause all the chaos in the world, and his amazing ability to know when anyone was upset

He thought of Sirius, his star, his world. He thought of his touch, their secret kisses, the feel of his body in his arms.

But as he stepped into that house, that horrid house, he couldn't think of them anymore.

Peter had betrayed them.

James had died.

His star had fallen.

He couldn't think of family anymore, because they were all gone.

[cryptic--writing]

update pt2

heyyy so I was gonna post this yesterday but it didn't cue properly and I feel like this is odd timing considering other writers are annoucnning that they're quitting, mainly mustainegf ( who is lol the reason my account even exists but anyways)

anyways, I'm jst here to say my blog is no longer for fanfic writing. I will still maybe occaisnlly post things here and there (photos, videos, memes, or just answering asks idk)

lowk I've been debating this since likeeeeee october or so just because I've always found it weird that I'm writing about real human beings with families, feelings, etc. and I also have posters of them all over my room and not to mention that whenever I listen to their music I have a voice in the back of my head saying "oh yeah I've written hardcore porn about them" and honestly its always been icky for me (no hate to anyone who does this, I was always a fanfic reader before a writer, and I'd rather go back to how things were)

im also very grateful for this platform I've made and how I've only received nothing but love on my page which really means a lot. my page wouldn't have gotten any start if it wasn't for that fan fic contest, where my very first fanfic won.

through the writing community, I've met a good amount of people online, and some amazing ones that I'm so glad to call friends.

this is not a goodbye or I'm quitting post, its just that I simply don't want to write fanfics about real people anymore. I'm not gonna delete any of my works because I'm so proud of some of the things I've written, even if looking back it makes me uncomfy, but there are also other people out there who have read them and liked or reblogged.

ill probably answer the reqs I have left in my inbox (around 20)and make extremely extremeluy short mini stories for them, more so an imagine or wtv people wanna call it. I have a few fics that were never finished, just bc they didn't turn out well, and if anyone wants to see them, I could post them.

anyways, thanks and this isn't goodbye just the end of my fanfic phase. only post I'm deleting in my intro and any random poll posts are yapping posts

thanksss

[exhaustedcatte]

Just Us.

Sirius watched as James tripped over hypothetical feet trying to catch Evans’ eye. He scoffed at the behaviour; while he enjoyed some friendly flirting, James was beyond ridiculous.

“Look at that twat, Wormy,” Sirius huffed, affectionate as ever, but still irritated.

When no response came, he looked up from his plate to find Peter drooling (slight exaggeration) over some poor bird behind him.

“Ugh,” Sirius recoiled with a bit more feeling than warranted.

“What’s got you so chipper?” Remus slid in beside him, earlier than usual, looking sleep rumpled but healthy; the new moon was a wonderful time.

“Look at these two idiots, salivating like slugs.”

Remus tutted fondly at the pair. “Leave them be, Padfoot, not everyone is charismatic like you.”

“Is that so?” He leered. This was becoming common occurrence, needling Remus into flirting back. “And that’s your opinion?”

“No,” Remus rolled his eyes, spreading butter on his crumpet, “but the grapevine insists on that particular character trait.”

“Spend time listening to what the grapevine says about me?”

For a second Remus faltered, unknowing that Sirius knew where Remus had heard it from, so he decided to just tell him.

He grinned, only slightly bitter that his friend had succumbed to the female population too (he didn’t really understand why, he pulled plenty himself).

“I heard about Pillai, you animal!”

Remus blushed under his golden skin. “Shut up.”

“Ow!” James spasmed wildly as a stinging hex was aimed his way and bumped into Peter, whose peas slid onto his lap.

“Hey!”

“Finite,” Sirius said lazily.

“Scourgify,” Remus waved his wand over Peter, while focused entirely on his breakfast. “Keep some senses on you, for fucks sake.”

“Not my fault!” James defended. Yes it was, there was no need to antagonise Lily, but James’ skull was thicker than a Kappa’s shell.

“Is too!” Peter said crossly, wiping the green from his trousers.

“You daft sods,” Remus mumbled fondly around the spoon lodged in his mouth.

“Looks like it’s just you and me,” Sirius sighed heavily, leaning onto him, “who are sane.”

“Just us,” Remus agreed.

“‘m leavin’!” James yelled. “Use the mirror if you need me!”

“Go away,” Sirius rolled his eyes good naturedly. “And please, for the love of Merlin, don’t natter on about your socks to Evans.”

“They’ve got moving snitches on them!”

“Just go, Prongs,” Remus laughed. “Try to relax and have fun, mate.”

“I would marry you, Moony, if not for Evans,” James put a hand on his heart, glancing at Sirius.

Sirius’ nostrils flared, and dramatically he said, “Get out!”

“So territorial,” James grinned, before he thundered down the staircase, missing Sirius’ jinx by a centimetre.

Silence cloaked the room as they stood amidst the clothes James had thrown out of his armoire.

Remus flopped back onto his bed, too lazy to retrieve his clothes from James’ pile; not like he cared, James had left for his date in Remus’ muggle band tee to show Lily he cared enough to learn or something.

“Where’d Wormtail go? The map isn’t here.”

“Who knows what he’s upto these days. Very secretive, our Wormy,” Sirius remarked, stepping around the clothing avalanche.

“Oh? Only him?” Remus sat up on his elbows, grinning shrewdly.

His uniform was unbuttoned down to his midriff, one flap untucked, and Sirius’ attention was rapt. “No,” he murmured. “Moony.”

“Yes?”

Remus stretched out his arm for Sirius to pillow his head on, which he did with a bright grin. They lay there in silence as he waited for Sirius to dredge the words out of his throat.

“‘s this alright then?” Sirius asked, rolling over to lay atop him, all bony elbows and knees. “Just you and me?”

This was still new, precious, fragile. James had probably guessed, but they hadn’t told anyone.

“Of course it is,” Remus assured, a kiss to his forehead. “Just us, Padfoot.”

Remus placed a bowl of rice and warm rajma in front of him.

Sirius wondered if he had once enjoyed this food if it made Remus stretch his wallet to prepare this for him.

“Here,” he said, pouring them both some whiskey on the rocks. “Sorry, I don’t own wine, this is easier to get drunk on.”

Sirius frowned slightly.

Remus filled the silence, misunderstanding Sirius’ hesitance, “I don’t drink that often, you know the wolf gets agitated.”

“You preferred beer,” he remembered suddenly.

Remus startled a bit. “Yeah, I–I still do.”

Sirius looked down at his plate, feeling a bit exposed and melancholic. His first proper meal in years, prepared by his, or who was once his, Moony.

“It was your favourite recovery meal,” Remus said lightly, correctly guessing what he was thinking. Sirius had to remind himself that Remus had also known him like the back of his hand.

“Oh,” he croaked.

“Lily tried to make it once when you and James were down with flu,” Remus continued, gratuitously offering the story, “and she burnt the rice, so I’d been summoned to salvage it to my best efforts. You really did enjoy it, even if James was more critical of the consistency of the curry.”

Sirius cracked a smile imagining the scenario to little effect; he couldn’t remember the colour of the Potter kitchen, Lily’s laugh, James’ observations or anything beyond the details of the anecdote.

“James preferred it thick,” Remus said. “And spicy.”

“Oh?”

“You could not handle it,” he teased.

Sirius smiled humorously. “You toned it down for me this time?”

“‘course I did.”

“Thanks, Moony. Did… did you learn from James?”

“I only knew to cook Cawl and Bara birth… and you liked Effie’s cooking too much to leave behind when they shifted out of London.”

“You always made my Indian cravings?” he asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

“No,” Remus laughed a bit. “I’m not that good. We flooed to them when we were all– free, to eat his special Kerala porotta and beef curry or Lily’s favourite chapatti and aloo.”

His expression must’ve changed, because Remus’ mouth was pinched, making his scholarly moustache twitch.

“Sirius?”

He came to, a bit disoriented. “Sorry, there’s–there’re a few gaps in my memory.”

“We’ll fix that, Padfoot,” Remus said sadly.

We.

“Just you and me, eh Moony,” Sirius smiled weakly, recalling it was one of his favourite phrases.

“Just us,” Remus nodded vacantly. “Been just us for a while now.”

[iamintoomanyfandomsistg]

This song is so Jegulus coded. Jegulus in those fanfics where they keep fucking but regulus is too stubborn to move ahead and accept he likes james. Meanwhile, James is both hurt and amused at the same time.

[iamintoomanyfandomsistg]

FUCK NO. FUCK NO .

The multiverse could also hurt you.

Props to my perre with who I have brainrotted about this story for so many times @sequinhaze te amo estupide 💕

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

[masivechaos]

lullaby - send me an au + a character from the list above (rockstar! eddie munson, tasm! remus lupin, rugbyman! james potter, soulmate au...) + a prompt/scenario -> i'll write a short blurb!

soulmate au where any tattoo your soulmate gets appears on your body w/ regulus black. the dark mark…

ME AND THE DEVIL - regulus black x gn! reader [0.724k] .ೃ࿐

summary: in a universe where you get any tattoo your soulmate has, the dark mark appears on your arm

warnings: ansgt whoops

navigation / masterlist / taglist 

Everybody was waiting for a tattoo to appear on their body, a sign to find who their soulmate was. But you were still at Hogwarts, therefore very few people were old enough to get a tattoo and even fewer got one. Some people were lucky and found themselves with stick’n’poke early, like Remus who got quickly covered with tattoos as Sirius got more and more ever since the fifth year.

You wanted someone in particular to be your soulmate… Regulus. You had to wait one year before being able to get tattooed so you tried not to get too attached. But he was your best friend, and it was difficult to hide things from him. 

But lately, you couldn’t find yourself bothering him with your heartaches when you saw he wasn’t well. He had dark circles under his eyes and seemed more miserable than usual. You tried to talk to him but he just kept on avoiding the subject and you decided to give up, he would talk when he wanted to.

One night, you were lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling as you thought about him, you wished you could do something. But as you tried to find solutions to help him, a shooting pain appeared in your arm. You yelped as you grabbed it, tears forming in your eyes. It kept going on for some long minutes before it slowly started to disappear. Scared to find what was on your arm, you rolled up your sleeve with your eyes shut.

You finally looked down and you let out a loud sob. On your arm was tattooed the Dark Mark. You cried at the former pain and the realisation: your soulmate was a DeathEather and he condemned you to have the same fate.

Your roommates were asking you what was going on but you couldn’t speak, you were far too choked up. You got up and stormed out of the room as you hid your tattoo with your sleeve. There was only one thought in your mind, find him.

You knocked at his door, you were never more grateful rich Slytherins could get single rooms. You knocked again but he didn’t open the door. “Regulus, please…” you sobbed. You let yourself fall against the door to the floor, crying in your hands. You didn’t know how long you stayed there before Regulus entered the corridor, finding you there.

“Y/n? What is going on?” he asked, he sounded himself as if he had cried.

Your eyes widened when you saw him and, without even thinking, you threw yourself in his arms. “I- I got a tattoo… My soulmate… they-” you sobbed in his neck. He opened his door and sat you both on his bed, you could be alone and could talk about anything in the intimacy of his room.

“What is going on?” he asked again.

“My soulmate just got a tattoo and- and…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence and lifted your sleeve as a loud cry left your lips. Regulus’ eyes widened as he saw the Dark Mark.

He got up off the bed as he covered his mouth with his hand “I- I’m sorry… It is all my fault,’ he said as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“What do you mean?” you asked confused.

“I- I,” It was so difficult to say it out loud. How could he tell you that he was the reason of your pain and sorrow. He loved you, he regretted this so much. He thought his feelings could never be reciprocated and thought that he didn’t care if anybody got hurt as long as it wasn’t you. He rolled up his own sleeve, revealing your matching tattoo. “I- I got it tonight.” He was too ashamed to look at you in the eyes.

You stood up “That’s you?” you said in disbelief. “I thought you weren’t going to do it, Regulus!” you were angry now, he had never seen you mad at him like this. “Look at me, Regulus!” you yelled. His eyes met yours, full of tears “You ruined my life! How could you? You said you weren’t going to join him…” Tears ran down your face and as you let a loud cry leave your lips “I don’t want to see you again.” You looked at him one last time before leaving the room “I hate you, Regulus”.

⋆ ★ regulus black taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @inkluvs @cauliflowertree @madison-rebel @moonlitmeeks @rhydianissuperior  @loveeharrington @meredarling @jackys-stuff-blog @elenatries2write @juneberrie @f4iry-blush  @gilmore-angel @heartfucks @songs4themoon @moondemon123 @mystic-writings @siriusblackstwin @natashxromanovf @unadulterated-syd @garfieldsladybird @starconfettii @percy-the-hufflepuff @fairydxll @spookydarkwitch @duxpuella @innerloverpainter @kieracassette @whennyxfallsinlove @venussflytraps @oncasette @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @widowbf @starlit-epiphany @rosalyn-s @etanordiesbullsh!t @sageskisses444 @luvmarsbars @jsjcue @mellozhi

[shipspainfulships]

THEM! THEM! THEM!

I love them your honor

They are soulmates

They are the drama

[scvrllet]

fairtytales / j.p

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Summary: James always loved fairytales but one day, he finally learns why he shouldn’t believe in them so much

Prompt: “I can’t pretend about something that feels too real.” 

This is a submission for @approved-by-dentists‘ writing challenge which I’m so sorry for taking forever to finish

James Potter Tags: @hec1930 @jellybeanduck99 @jjklefttoe @mads-bri @dracoo-malfoy @niniabc

General HP Tags: @birdie-writes @lunaralpha270 @tinylumpiaa @slytherin-chaser @bloodblossom73 @pcseidcnsvoid @mischiefsemimanaged @accio-rogers @iamak20 @klaus-m-trash @obsessedwithrandomthings @susceptible-but-siriusexual @masterofthedarkness @lupins-sweater @hariosborn @vernon-dursley @slytherinwriter618 @missmulti @sambucky8 @a-c-lee @criesinlies @sokkasdarling

Permanent Tags: @sleep-i-ness @emmaloo21 @62442-am @flowersgrewbackasth0rns @un-limit-edd @angelicbabybutterfly @a-golden-sunflower-vol-6 @aliyahcat111 @hogswartshoe22 

Key: (Y/H/C) = your house colour

White lily flower petals littered the green grass, acting as an aisle for the bride to walk down as the guests waited impatiently in their seats. 

James was probably the most anxious out of everyone there. He had been in-love with you since sixth year back at Hogwarts and now here he was waiting for you to arrive at the wedding. 

Silver chairs were wrapped with pieces of white and ivory fabric, a combination you’ve always adored, and white tulips lined the aisle. There was a makeshift stage in front of them, where the bride and groom would stand and finally be one. The setting looked like something straight out of a fairytale. 

After a few minutes, you had apparated along with your parents. Since it was still in the midst of a war, you opted out of the traditional wedding dress your parents had wished for and opted for a simple but elegant dress instead. James held his breath as he watched your father walk you down the aisle and right pass him. 

***

Christmas was always your favourite holiday. Back home with your parents, the days counting down to Christmas were spent together as a family and gift exchanges were the best. You would’ve thought that this tradition would end after you got accepted into Hogwarts but your muggle parents had managed to get used to using the owl and were able to share the experience with you. 

With Christmas just a week away, your parents had already sent 7 owls, making the house elves who tended to the school owls very exhausted, and were sending another owl soon.

“They seem to really enjoy using owls.” James said as he watched an owl fly in through the Common Room and drop off a package into your lap. 

“I thought they would’ve been wary of using animals to send stuff but turns out I was wrong.” You replied as you opened the paper package. Since you were away from school, your parents had decided to switch the order of activities you’d all do. You were supposed to be baking cookies with your mom while your dad sang Christmas songs around the kitchen on this day.

Inside the package were two knitted sweaters, one a deep crimson and the other a (Y/H/C). Raising a brow at the second sweater, you searched the package for a note and found it in-between the two. 

Dear (Y/N),

Hi honey, your father and I hope you’re doing well at school. 

We know that today was supposed to be baking but we’ve heard that it’s been getting pretty cold up there in the highlands so we decided to send you your sweater earlier. Your father had also decided to knit an extra one for that James boy you’re always mentioning. We hope you both like them and we can’t wait to have you back home in two days! 

Love you.  Mom and dad. P.S: Why not bring James home for Christmas? We’re always happy to have guests over.

“You alright there (Y/N)?” James asked, causing you to look at him. You hadn't noticed that you were so focused on the letter in front of you until James pointed it out. “What’d they send today?”

“Oh just sweaters. They also knitted one for you.” 

James' face lit up and he practically dived into the spot beside you on the couch to grab said sweater. He held it up to look at it before quickly putting it on. It fit him perfectly. 

He had always loved the sweaters your parents knitted so now that he was able to have one of his own he couldn’t seem to hide the smile that graced his features. It suited him, both the sweater and the smile. He smiled often but it was more mischievous but this one was genuine. You liked seeing him like this. 

“I need to thank them. What’s a good gift I could get them?” James' question broke you out of your daydream. 

“You could come over?” It sounded more like you were reading off of a script rather than just asking him. Merlin why were you so nervous around this boy. 

“What?”

“For Christmas dinner. My parents wanted to invite you to our Christmas dinner. You don’t have to go of course, they were just suggesting it since I-”

“I’d love to.” 

Realizing what you were about to reveal, you were thankful for James cutting you off. You simply smiled at him and tried your best to contain your excitement as he went back to marveling at the sweater. 

“Bollocks, I have practice in ten,” James sighed. Pulling the sweater off his head you couldn’t but stare at the bit of exposed skin as his undershirt rose. “I’ll see you after practice love. Oh and the dinner! Send me an owl what time.” He said as he ran out of the Common Room a little too loudly. A few students shushed at him but by then he was already running down the halls towards the changerooms. 

***

“(Y/N) are you done yet?” Your mother called from downstairs. 

You were in your bathroom after your sixth outfit change of the night. For some reason the first five outfits weren’t what you had envisioned them to look like. After an hour of hair, makeup and six outfit changes, you finally felt content with your appearance and was finally  ready to go downstairs. 

James was supposed to arrive in less than an hour which meant you had more than enough time to get the table set and help put up any last minute decorations. Perhaps your parents took Christmas a little too seriously you thought to yourself, looking out the window at the giant candy canes and lights that lit up the entire yard. It looked like something out of a bloody Christmas story. 

“I’ll get it!” Your father announced after hearing the doorbell ring. Your mother chuckled and walked to join him at the door while you stood behind them, silently praying that they won’t embarrass themselves in front of the boy they knew you liked. 

“You must be James.” You heard your father say in a monotone voice. From the small space between your parents, you could see James' charming smile falter as he grew nervous. 

“Yes sir. It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N).” He said, surprisingly without stuttering, as he offered his hand out for them to shake. 

“Come in dear, you must be freezing.” Your mother said. Pushing your father to the side, she pulled him inside and offered to hang up his jacket. He politely declined and did it himself. 

Your father looked back at you and nodded at you causing you to roll your eyes. Tonight was going to be interesting.

“(Y/N)!” You heard James call out. Turning your head in his direction, you watched as he approached you with open arms and a smile. Wrapping your arms around him, you pulled him into a warm hug which made you shiver when you realized that he was freezing. “I got this for you and your parents.” He said as he handed you a fairly large gift bag. 

Setting it on the couch, you opened it up to see a few bottles from his parents beauty line along with some baked goods. He even bought two candles in your favourite scent and candy. He knew you too well. 

“Dinner is ready!” 

Perhaps your parents were a little too excited for this dinner. Their eyes went wide as they watched James pull out the chair for you before taking the one beside you, facing your parents. While your father grabbed food for himself and your mom, James filled up your plate with foods he knew you liked. Your parents shared a knowing look before starting to pester the poor boy with questions. 

The questions started off as generic: What are your goals, what is your plan for the future, what are your favourite classes, what house are you in and etc. Your parents acted as if they hadn’t already known the answer to these questions due to the amount of times you’ve told them about him.

“Are you dating anybody?” Your father had decided to ask, ignoring how your eyes went wide and signed for him to stop. 

“Oh I actually am.” James replied and your father raised a brow. Your mother looked both shocked and hurt for you. “She’s in Gryffindor like me, Lily Evans. We’ve been dating for two weeks so far.” 

“That’s great, I’m sure she’s lovely.” Your mother quickly regretted saying that as the rest of the dinner was spent talking about Lily Evans. James would not shut up for a second talking about how lovely and amazing she was that you were more than relieved when he noticed the time and had to leave. 

After the door closed behind him, your parents barely had a chance to call for you as you ran up the stairs and into your room. You didn’t come out until the following afternoon when they bribed you with waffles despite it being 3 pm. 

***

After the Christmas dinner with James the news of his new relationship quickly spread. You started isolating yourself from him, not that you had to even try considering he’d spend all his time with Lily. As weeks went by you’d start talking to Remus, who you grew a sibling-like relationship with the more you talked ot each-other. It started off with complaining about how James essentially ditched you and his friends to spend all his time with Lily and barely even remembering to say hi to them. Then as it progressed you both started to actually spend time with each-other and talk without any mention of James Potter or Lily Evans. 

During this time, James' two other friends, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, were still trying to get a word with James but after one too many failed attempts, decided to join Remus. You quickly befriended them both, just like how you did with Remus, and the four of you spent if not all, most of your free time outside of classes together. It was like you had replaced the void James’ left in their group. 

Before his relationship, James was often said to act like a mother to the boys but when you joined, it was actually Remus who became the mother hen. He was the one nagging you to study and telling Sirius to actually pay attention in class and stopping Peter from wanting to raid the kitchen every other hour. As much as he’s grown to love you, he did not hesitate to complain about how childish you acted but you would only stick your tongue out at him before finally starting to do what you were supposed to. You really did become the sister he never had and despite him getting annoyed every few minutes, he truly did love you and wanted the best for you. 

Maybe that was why he had snapped at James when the boy came crawling back to his friends. News spread like wildfire around Hogwarts that James had broken up with Lily and despite you being one of the first few people to hear about it, you didn’t care.

“What do you mean I can’t tell her?” James asked. Remus and Peter were in their dorms, previously in a conversation before James barged into the room asking for their forgiveness of how he’s been treating them the past few months. 

“I said, you’re not going to tell (Y/N) that you’re in-love with her.” Remus replied calmly before turning back to Peter. 

“But why.”

“Because she’s dating Sirius now that’s why!” James fell silent and could only look at Remus in shock. “The two people you’ve hurt the most are together now. And they’re happy as well so there is no way in hell I’m going to let you ruin it.” 

“Moony I’m in-love with her, what do you want me to do.?”

“Suck it up. Act like you’re not. You were amazing at completely ignoring us for the past few months anyways.”

“This is different I can’t pretend about something that feels too real. Moony you’ve got to understand that I’m in-love with her.” 

“Well that’s too bad,” Remus said as he stood up. Regardless of how much he loved his friend, he not only hurt him but others in ways that no one deserved to ever go through. “Because I’m not letting you ruin what they have going on. You actually had a chance, back when she gave you that sweater. She was still in-love with you until-”

“The dinner.” 

Remus nodded and motioned for Peter to stand up. “I’m sorry.” He said before walking out the door with Peter in tow. 

James watched as his friends left the room. He didn’t even know he was crying until he had tasted the tears on his tongue  but just like his feelings, he realized a little too late. 

***

You walked right past him and onto the makeshift stage with the help of your husband-to-be, Sirius Black. Standing behind him was Remus, the best-man, who had a bright smile as he watched his two best-friends finally get married. 

James tried his best to be happy. He really did. But how was he supposed to be happy when he was attending the girl he’s been in-love with for years, especially when he wasn’t the one she was getting married to. Sure he was able to make amends with them but that was about it. He went back to being her friend when he could’ve been more. He was even given the chance at one point but he blew it. This is all my fault. He thought to himself as he watched the newly wedded Mr. and Mrs. Black walk back down the aisle as the guests threw petals in the air. 

The scene before him looked like an image straight out of a fairytale. James used to love hearing fairytales growing up but today he learned something about them; they aren’t real.

[cherryxcadbury]

Hello loveeeee! can I request request an imagine with Reece James? Maybe with angst and ofc flufff

hi lovely!! thanks sm for the request! I’d be more than happy to do it<33

tw: swearing

also for the picture I used at the bottom, ignore it! literally couldnt find anything else:(

1st person point of view

I got myself comfortable on the large sofa and turned on the interview that Reece asked me to watch. It was his first one where the interviewer was a big name, so it’d obviously attract attention.

I watched with adoring eyes full of delight, carefully listening to whatever question was shot his way and how he answered them.

“So Reece, you’re a young, handsome lad. Certainly means you get attention from the females. Any special woman in your life?” the interviewer questioned.

Reece chuckled before running a hand through his hair. I looked up at the screen with hope that he’d mention me, as we originally wanted to keep it secret, no one knew about me other than his family.

“Other than my mum and sister. Nope.” Reece plopped the p sound.

Sighing, I shut off the television, deciding to prepare some food before Reece got home. Within about twenty minutes, he’d arrived.

“Babe! I’m home!” Reece called.

I walked from my place in the kitchen to the door and greeted him with a kiss to the cheek as I hung his coat. We both made our way to the kitchen.

“How was training? How many times you get megged?” I smirked.

“Actually I managed to meg Mase alone twice.” Reece stuck his tongue out at me.

“Wow. For the first time in forever.” I retorted.

Reece playfully rolled his eyes before taking a seat at the kitchen island.

“And your day?” He inquired.

“All spent finishing the school work I have due tomorrow. I hate uni.” I groaned.

“Just keep at it for another year then I’ll be able to say my girlfriend‘s a university graduate.” He winked.

“Well the way it’s going I wouldn’t count on that.” I breathed.

“You’ll be fine Y/N. You always are.” He reassured, rubbing his thumb against my hand.

“Oh by the way. Did you watch the interview?” Reece questioned with a smile.

I attempted to put a grin on my face but apparently Reece could see right through me.

“Sure did!” I exclaimed.

“Woah what’s with the fake enthusiasm?” Reece quirked an eyebrow.

“What fake enthusiasm? This is real! Its nothing.” I tried convincing him.

“If you didn’t like the interview just tell me.” Reece mumbled while he shoveled rice into this mouth.

“What do you mean? I told you I liked it. It was good.” I asked in a quiet, but annoyed tone.

“Okay why are you so mad? If I knew that you’d be in such a bad mood I wouldn’t have come home in the first place.” Reece‘s voice began getting louder.

“Oh my god. Who the hell said I was mad? I told you that I enjoyed it!” I gritted through my teeth, frustration growing as he began raising his voice.

“God damnit Y/N what is up with you?” Reece groaned.

“Me? What’s up with me? What the fuck is up with you?” I matched his tone.

Reece was taken aback at my choice of language as he knew I avoided cursing unless I was truly angry.

“Y/N. What’s the point of starting this fight?” He asked.

“I’m not the one who started it.” I muttered, putting my head in my hands.

“Right because I’m the one who started it.” Reece scoffed.

“I just don’t understand Y/N. What do you want?” Reece whispered softly.

I took a few breaths as tears discreetly cascaded down my cheek.

“I’m just annoyed how we have to hide our relationship. I-I don’t want to do that anymore.” I replied, my voice tired.

“That’s why you’re annoyed at me? That’s why you’re angry, moody, irritable?” Reece questioned for confirmation.

I slowly nodded.

“Your annoyed at me for fucking doing what you asked? You‘re the one who suggested keeping our relationship a secret. I was ready to show the whole world that you were mine. And now you’re mad because I respected your decision.” Reece summarised, his voice laced with venom.

“Reece I’m not mad at you—” I started.

“No. You are and you have no right to be.” Reece cut me off.

“Reece I changed my mind. I’m allowed to change my mind aren’t I? I only suggested it because that’s what I thought you’d want! I thought it would help keep you out of the tabloids!” I sighed with exasperation.

“The blame always somehow goes back to me.” Reece chuckled with an anger.

“I’m not blam—you know what. I’m going upstairs. Do whatever, I don’t give two shits.” I decided, marching up to our room, slamming it shut.

“I don’t care either. I can’t deal with this. I’m going to Chilly’s.” Reece shouted, grabbing his keys and slamming the front door shut.

I closed my eyes, my back pressed against the door as I slid down to the ground, unlocking it. The built up tears freely left my eyes while a sob escaped my mouth.

Elsewhere, Reece sat in his car parked in the car park groaning. His head was tilted against the driver‘s seat as he tried to calm himself down before driving. He barely noticed it, but a tear or two managed to escape his eye.

Three hours later…

I tossed and turned in the large, king sized bed. I felt guilt. I couldnt go to bed not knowing if Reece was safe. Though I sure as hell tried, my mind constantly wandered to bad scenarios. I’d sent him a text right before bed telling him I was sorry and wanted him home.

Suddenly, the sound of the door opening attracted my attention. I sat up, letting out a sigh of relief as I saw Reece walk through the door. Once we made eye contact, I was about to rush to him before he signaled for me to stay put. I watched him place his things on the bedside table and take off his slides and sweatshirt.

I watch with anticipation as I wait for him to finally come towards the bed. A sad smile makes its way onto my face as he climbs in bed.

“I’m so sorry.” I mumble, hugging him, burying my head in his neck.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk.” He hugs me back, arms around my waist.

“I love you.” I tell him, looking into his eyes.

Instead of replying he just kisses me, making me happier than I could have ever been.

We lie down together and a few minutes later i see that my hand has started subconsciously playing with hair. I grin as I see a peaceful smile on my face.

“So. You still wanna go Instagram official?” Reece smirks, raising an eyebrow.

“Is it bad if I say yes?” I laughed.

“Thank god we’re on the same page this time.” He chuckles.

Reece grabbed his phone from the bedside table, I smiled as I thought he was going to use an old photo of ours. To my surprise, he took a candid photo.

“Reece don’t post that. I look ugly.” I groaned.

“Oh shut up. Theres not a moment in my life that I’ve thought that you looked anything but beautiful.” He complimented.

@/reecejames

@/reecejames: the only person in the world I love more than my left back❤️‍

Tagged: @y/f/n.y/l/n88

[cryptic--writing]

Haiii ‼️🦐🪤

So like ‘88 James gets in a really bad fight, so you clean him up and cuddle with him :3

hihi!!

this req is so so cute so I hoped I did it some justicw

its more of a drabble bc its super duper short

also I'm typing all of this out on 9/25 so y'all will prob see this in a week or so

anyways here

word count: 966

warnings: fluff, light ansgt, gentle descriptions of blood and brusies, a fight (obvi) and that's it

FIX THE BROKEN, TEND THE WOUNDED (1988)

It was a regular night at home, sitting back on the couch while watching some TV and eating some snacks, not paying that much to the show, all of it becoming static in my ears before hearing my boyfriend, James, stumble into the apartment. My eyes snapped out of their haze, glancing towards his bruises, slightly bloody face as a blood trail tickled from his nose.

My concern instantly sky rocketed, jolting up from the couch and iving towards him quickly.

“James, oh my god, what happened to you?” I quickly muttered out, taking his face in my hands as I scanned for any more injuries.

“Just got in a scuffle at the bar… I'll be fine…” He mumbled in pain.

I shook my head quickly, “No! You're not ok! You're all beaten up!” I responded back, taking his hand in mine as I noticed his bloodied knuckles, showing he had gotten into a bad fight. At least he had protected himself, or tried to.

“Baby, let me help you clean up,” I pleaded with him. James was always the ‘strong one’, and rarely seeked comfort in others and would just wallow in his own pain. I was tired of seeing him like that, he needed to understand that it's ok to be human.

James just sighed and nodded, clearly beat (literally) and exhausted. I guided him carefully into the bathroom, having him sit on the edge of the bathtub as I grabbed some medical supplies from our medicine cabinet, saline to clean his wound, tissues, a wet wash cloth and bandages.

I kneeled in front of him, beginning to wipe off the dirt and gunk of his face, wincing as it past his cuts, the sensation uncomfortable for him.

“I know it hurts, just let me help..” I cooed gently in response, continuing to wipe the dirt and blood away until his face was somewhat clean.

“This'll sting, but it's not as painful as an infection,” I warned and assured him, beginning to wash the cut on his cheek, a deeper mark that had a chance to leave a scar, but it would change my love for him. It would probably only make me love him more as it showed more of his story, and our story.

James whined as his face scrunched in pain, and it made me upset to see him hurting like this.

“How did you even get into a fight?” I asked, dabbing away some blood that spilled from his wound, getting a bandaged ready to place over it.

“Some prick shit talking the band.. Saying we sold out.. Normally it doesn't bother me but he started putting hands on me and what not,” James explained in a mumble, so drained and sore it probably only made him more tired to speak, so I wouldn't push him much more to talk.

“That's stupid.. You guys are doing great, and just ignore dumbasses like him,” I comforted, placing the bandage on his cheek.

James just huffed in response, watching as I tended to him, careful with every part of him. After I finished cleaning his battered face, I moved my focus to his hands, holding them in my own as I observed the cuts on his knuckles and dried blood that covered the area, repeating the same process, wiping away the crust and gunk, making sure there was none left as I poured saline on it, drying it and applying more bandages to his poor hands.

After we were done, we went into the bedroom. I helped him get dressed, removing his tattered shirt to reveal a thin, not deep, but long scrape on his side with bruises on his chest and stomach. Who would hurt him like this? It was a hard watch, frowning at the sight.

“James, how badly did this guy get you? We should take you to a doctor..” I worried, still taking note of every mark on his body. 

“He just.. Got an angle on me, I fought him worse anyways…” He mumbled back in response, and I nodded with a sigh, cleaning him up once more, washing his wound and bandaging it as he went to lay on the bed. I helped him get comfortable without pushing too much on his bruises, not wanting him to be in any more pain than he already was.

“Stay here, Ill go get you some pills,” I informed, kissing his forehead softly as he hummed in response before I scurried into the bathroom, grabbing him some painkillers and cold bottle of water out the fridge before turning back to him, his fatigued form curled in bed.

“Here, take these, you'll feel better,” I said, handing him to=he pills and water as I got into bed beside James, waiting for him to finish taking the medication.

“Cmere..” I mumbled, opening my arms for him, and for one of those few times, he came up close and snuggled to me. James loved cuddling, but normally when he was the one cuddling me. But, I feel like I almost preferred holding him over him holding me, stroking his soft, wav golden locks as he huffed, soon to succumb to the tiredness he had endured after his fight.

I knew he would be in even worse pain in the morning, so I had to mentally prepare for his invisibility, but also the sweet side he hid on stage. To the world, he was James Hetfield, a man of metal and crazy, but to me, he was just James. The softest, sweetest guy you could ever know.

“Thanks… I loved you…” He muttered into my chest and I continued to stroke his hair.

“Love you too,” I answered back, and he fell asleep in my arms.

[reagi-df]

Hahah xD I remeber her name being dropped but I just couldn’t find it (I think I’ve blocked that part of the fandom out of my mind I can no longer see her name 😂) but yeah I re looked on the wiki and it says this

And I’m like…. What is this BS 😂. It honestly felt so ooc. I’ll be honesty I didn’t actually like the Buckynat ship at first. Only because I didn’t really know Nats character, but once I read them together I got on the bandwagon, and im so glad I did. Relationships like the Man on the wall there’s no depth to it? If that makes sense. It just seems they threw it in there for the sake of it. And Ive just remembered Tessa kissing Bucky before all this as well actually xD

Omg fake James 😂. Yeah I mean, I love ansgt so I kinda like that part of it. And the fact that Nat said, they gave fake James that name for a reason (also the fact that there kid is called Steve and in the animated avengers movies nat and Steve’s kid is called James I love it) but yeah i can’t say I have much thought on it 😂

Haha thanks! It’s hard to find good places to talk about this as the places I’ve talked are usally talking about mcu nat and so much about the comics but and with the comics there’s sooo much history and lore I just find it more interesting ❤️

Re: Winte.rwidow vs Buc.ky.Nat

I tag Bucky x Nat stuff as both Buck.yNat and Win.terwi.dow, right? But this feels wrong to me to an extent, and even causes Bucky discomfort. Why? Because he never consented to being the Winter Soldier, and Natasha didn’t pick the Red Room. It focuses on aspects of who they are that they aren’t proud of necessarily, and Bucky would rather focus on them now - as Bucky and Nat.

Also it may seem like it, but Buc.kyN.at isn’t my only insta ship for Buc.ky lol

[seostudios]

Safe word with Jaemin?

ou this one is gonna be cute

- Safe Word Na Jaemin the Cutie Pie

It started off innocent, the cheek kisses and hand holding under the dinner table. But slowly progressed to gripping your thigh tightly, palming him. Eventually you two finished dessert and left early because ‘Jaemin’s Mom decided to visit and we can’t keep her waiting!’.

“So naughty, touching me like that in public and infront of the boys, what if they saw huh? Your so dirty you’d put on a show for them hm..?” Jaemin whispered as he positioned himself at your entrance, finally pushing in, your legs going to his waist wrapping around tightly while you clenched around his thick shaft. “You take me so well, i’m the only one who’s made you dirty like this huh? You love it when I use you mmm” He stated going at an insance paste

“God you take me so wel baby, Are you cumming again?” He asked watching you while pumpint in and out; you’ve came about 4 times already and he’s got you going again but you don’t think you can go again. He’s not aware that you are in pain now.

“Markers!” You’ve drawn the last string, at first you were gonna let him cum and pull out but you couldn’t handle it.

“Oh Baby, are you okay? I’m so sorry darling, C’mon get up let me run you a bath, or do you want some water? Let me clean you up.” He was quick to pull out, look you in the eyes and hold you close bombarding you woth numerous apologies and questions on how he could help.

“It’s okay I just didn’t feel comfortable and it hurt I’m okay.” You assure, getting up little wobbly though and it didn’t go unnoticed in the moonlit bedroom. Jaemin cleaned up the bed while you cleaned up his mess on yourself.

“Sorry I guess I got a little carried away, your just amazing princess.” He cooed into your ear kissing your temple as you gathered into his arms. “I know, it’s fine. Let’s just get some rest”