#ansgt with a happy ending
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reysdriver · 2 years ago
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Come Home & We'll Talk | J.P.
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part 2 of Behind The Venue; James comes home to ask you to stay with him — rockstar!james x fem!reader angst/fluff
warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of like sexual acts
words: 0.9k
a/n: sorry this took forever lol, y'all wanted a happy ending so here it is
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You hadn’t looked at any social media since finding out about James and Lily, nor did you want to. Giving James a chance to tell you everything was better than surfing through a whole bunch of pity, lies, and other crap on the internet. 
You sent James a text—another thing you hadn’t checked since—and told him the only way you were willing to talk about what happened would be if he came home in the middle of the boys’ tour. 
You honestly hadn’t expected him to come back at all—let alone the next day—so when he showed up with a giant bouquet of pink roses, you reluctantly let him inside your shared flat. 
“I’m sorry, my love. I came back so you could hear that.” He told you, putting the flowers down on your kitchen table. 
“No, you came back because you got caught with Lily Evans and I told you I wouldn’t talk over the phone.”
He slumped his shoulders and took off his backpack. Was that all he brought back? He dropped it onto the floor by his feet, but looked hesitant to do anything else. 
“But I promise you I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything.”
Ignoring the flowers, you sat down on your couch and James followed, but stayed on the other side in case you didn’t want him to touch you. 
“How long has it been going on?” You asked sadly. Any preamble or excuses would just be bothersome, you just wanted to know the details. 
“Not long. It was just after a show in Lisbon, I was really missing you and Lily said we should all go out to a bar to cheer me up. We got drunk and did some stuff, but we never had sex.”
He knew that didn’t make it much better, but he was going to drop every detail that could help his case. 
“And how many times have you ‘done stuff’ since then?”
“Since Portugal, we haven’t done anything more than make out. It was only a few times, and I felt like shit every single time.” James admitted. “I should have told you—”
“Yeah, you should have.” You told him firmly. You would have felt strong if it weren’t for the shake in your voice with every word. “Instead, you let it get out to the whole world, and I had to find out through a bunch of your fans.” 
“I know. I was wrong. I’m a coward, my love. I was going to, but I kept worrying that you would leave me. I need you in my life.” 
“So much so that you went and messed around with her?”
“It was bloody stupid, I know. I already told her that anything we had is over, even if you don’t take me back. But, please, I’ll do anything for you to stay with me.”
As much as you hated to admit it, he seemed genuine. Like he really was sorry about what he did, like he really did need you. It wasn’t quite enough, but he was getting there. 
“Was she the only one? This was the only time?”
James sensed that you were starting to accept his apology, but he wasn’t going to smile and celebrate yet. “Yes, I promise. This was the only time it’s ever happened and it’ll be the last too.”
“How do I know that, Jamie?” 
“(y/n), I will let you cut my dick off if that’s what you need to believe I’ll never do it again.” He used his hands to act out the idea he had just described and it made you laugh through your persistent teary eyes. “I’ll let you keep my hands and feet tied any time I’m away from you?”
“Promise?”
“I promise. We aren’t doing any more shows with her band anymore, and I want you to come on the rest of the tour with us. The Marauders don’t need an opener, but I do need you.”
You already knew what you were going to say, but it was fun to tease him a bit after what he did. “And what if I don’t come with you? Then what would you do?”
“I won’t do anymore shows.” James said seriously. “I’ll stay here with you. I’ll make a million gestures to make it up to you—well, I’ll do that anyways, but I’ll just make a million gestures at home.” 
You scooted towards James’ side of the couch and picked up his hand to fidget with it. “Okay. I’ll come with you.” 
James needed to make sure he heard your mumbled words correctly and his ears weren’t just telling him what he wanted to hear. “You will? Really?”
“Yes.” You confirmed. “Mostly because your manager would be pissed and all your fans would be heartbroken if you missed all those shows.” 
You reached up to kiss him softly, thanking him for the apology and explanation. 
“And you’re not mad at me?” He asked as you kissed his cheek. “You forgive me?” 
“I trust that you won’t do it again and I’m staying with you, but you have a lot to do to make up for everything.”
“I’ll do anything.” He leaned down to kiss you again. It was more passionate than when you kissed him; he knew he had a lot more to thank you for than you did to him. 
He let off your lips and gestured to the kitchen with a nod of his head. “And you saw the flowers? You like them?”
You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Yes, James, I saw the flowers. They’re very pretty.” 
“Good, ‘cause there’s a bouquet coming from every tour stop for you.”
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kookminlibrary · 11 months ago
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Seeds of a Broken Heart by annie_vi
Vorfreude (noun): a feeling of joyful anticipation for something pleasurable or something desired in the future.
OR: In the midst of training to audition for a selective and prestigious dance company, Jeon Jeongguk meets an enigmatic, big-mouthed, experienced dancer with the same passion and the same endgame – or so he thinks.
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reysdriver · 2 years ago
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this deserves all the attention
plus I need some more line cook!eddie omggg
Forget What You've Heard E.M.
Line cook!Eddie Munson x Bartender!Reader
Sorry it took so long between posts! I've been working all day every day so it's busy over here. I hope you enjoy! 
I do not give permission for my work to be copied / posted as original work on any platform.
Your favorite co-worker's flirty nature is your favorite part of the workday, but is it genuine? Someone is feeding you lies just as your patrons are being fed mozzarella sticks and Eddie is determined to convince you he's not just playing games with your heart.
Misunderstanding, hurt/comfort, fluff, cursing, an asshole named Dylan (We all know one), use of Y/N
Wordcount 4.7k
You smile to yourself as you count up the tips you've made so far. Bartending has done wonders for your wallet, and it's totally worth it if you can look over the long hours on your feet, creeps trying to get into your pants, and going home smelling like sour mix and sweat. You just moved to Hawkins 6 months ago and since living on your own is expensive, you serve beers and shake cocktails at the karaoke bar downtown to make a living. It's easy work and you're good at it, but there's just one issue; your favorite co-worker is a huge distraction. Eddie is the cutest damn line cook you've ever seen with his curly hair always tied into a low bun and his smile that you're sure could cure a number of diseases, but those things don't make it easy to do your job efficiently. It's nearly impossible to grab a platter of nachos from the window without him throwing out a wink and calling you sweetheart, telling you you're doing a good job, or even sliding a basket of fries to you with a finger to his lips as a way of saying "Don't tell on me, honey." 
Tonight is no different. Eddie has been a total menace all night, flashing you that flirty smile, keeping you from your work with his corny pick-up lines that he insists will get him a date with you one day, making conversation, and giving you extra sides of ranch without making you ring them in first like the kitchen manager does. The second you walked into the back to set your bag down after arriving, he told you your hair looked absolutely ravishing even though it's just thrown into a clip like always, making you blush like crazy. It took nearly 20 minutes to get the scarlet red tint to leave your cheeks, and though you tried your hardest to hide it, Eddie sure as hell noticed, leaving a smile on his face throughout the busy evening.
"Hey sweetheart, I've got those wings for the bar top ready for you." You hear from behind you, snapping you out of your thoughts. You smile to yourself at the nickname and put the glass you've just finished washing upside down on the drying mat. 
You turn around to an always grinning Eddie leaning his elbows on the stainless steel of the mini counter under the window to the back of house and holding the ticket in between his index and middle digits. You take the slip of paper out of his hand slowly, letting your fingers touch for a moment before stabbing it through the small metal spike to your right. Every once in a while, you like to indulge in his flirtatiousness, though it makes you nervous. Eddie's fun, he's nice, and dishing back what he gives to you every day isn't hurting anyone. "Thank you, Eddie."
"Any time, sugar." He replies, winking and turning to grab a new ticket and drop an order of potato skins in the fryer. You shake your head, smiling from ear to ear, turning to serve the hot plate to one of your regulars. 
The rest of the shift goes great. Your tips are higher than you had planned, nobody had to be thrown out for fighting, and you got to hear a wonderful rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" sang by a very intoxicated older gentleman during the karaoke session. As you clean up the bar for the night, as always, you can't stop thinking about Eddie. You think tonight might actually be the night you ask him to hang out with you outside of work, though he's invited you to go get some late night pizza before, playfully pouting when you have to decline, telling him that you're exhausted and have to go back to the bar to open the next day. You've wanted to say yes, but Eddie makes you nervous. You're feeling bold tonight though, and you're optimistic. 
Unbeknownst to you, Eddie is in the kitchen cleaning the fryers, taking out the trash, and scrubbing the floors absentmindedly, almost like he's in auto-pilot because he can't get you out of his head. He wants so badly to ask you out, but he's tried that and you don't seem interested. He realizes you probably just flirt with him for fun, a harmless workplace friendship with some winks and pet names sprinkled in, but over the past four months, he's developed a serious crush on you. 
There's just something about you that makes you so different from everyone he's ever dated or been interested in. He doesn't feel like he has to change who he is for you. There's nothing better for Eddie's ego than how easy it is to make you smile, and goddammit what a beautiful smile it is. Every time you look at him through your lashes, blushing at something stupid he's said, Eddie feels like he could lift the entire building up with one hand and not even break a sweat. He fears he's in too deep at this point, the innocent flirting leading to him finding himself thinking about you even once he's gone home for the night. 
"Hey Eddie boy, I think you missed a spot." Eddie rolls his eyes at the irritating voice coming at him from his left. Dylan is one of the most insufferable people he's ever met and of course, he has the honor of working beside him at least 3 nights out of the week. 
Eddie doesn't turn his attention to Dylan, just continues wiping down the steel counter top. "Bite me, jackass." 
"Wow, someone's sassy today, huh? What, you didn't get enough attention from your little bartender tonight?" He smarmily replies, a disgustingly annoying grin on his face. Dylan, to Eddie's dismay, has picked up on the little "situation" between you two, making a joke of it every chance he can in an attempt to piss him off. 
Eddie laughs humorlessly, throwing his rag down and turning to the bane of his existence, crossing his arms over his chest. "Dude shut the fuck up."
"Hey look man, I get it! I'm just saying it's embarrassing watching you stare at her like a fucking creep all day. She does look pretty smokin' in those jeans though, so I don't blame you. Hey maybe I'll ask her out tonight, see if I can get some tail. Think she'll give up the goods?" He's smirking while Eddie's blood is raising in temperature. He can practically feel smoke coming out of his ears hearing this sorry excuse for a man speaking about you like you're just a piece of ass and not the sweet, funny, beautiful person you are. 
"I swear to God, I'll bust your teeth in." Eddie seethes, trying to keep his cool, at least while you're in the building. You're blissfully unaware of their hatred for one another and the last thing he needs is for you to see him throwing his fist into Dylan's face for talking about you. That wouldn't be very "innocent flirtationship" of him. 
"Guys! Come on, finish cleaning and knock it off. I don't have the energy for your cat fights tonight." The kitchen manager huffs, stepping between the two of them with a severely annoyed look on his face. Wordlessly, Eddie takes one more look at Dylan, picks his rag back up, and continues his task of degreasing all of the surfaces. He wants to get it over with and be able to clock in time to catch you before you leave and walk you to your car.
Dylan, the vindictive man he is, takes the opportunity to make his way through the swinging kitchen door and into the main bar area while Eddie isn't paying attention. You look up, expecting to find Eddie standing there, but confused when it's the guy you barely speak to heading in your direction.
"Hey Y/N, you do good tonight?" He asks, leaning against the bar. You smile politely, still wrist deep in soapy water from washing the bar glasses and beer mugs. 
"Yeah, better than I expected actually. Did you need something?" You ask, not rudely, but assuming he came for something specific seeing as he's never made small talk with you before.
Dylan takes a breath and rests his elbows on the hard wood of the bar top, shaking his head like he's trying to think of how to tell you what he sauntered up to you for. You begin to dry your hands, getting a little nervous thinking that maybe the manager had sent him up here to tell you something you've done wrong. You're still relatively new and you've never gotten in trouble here before, but you can't think of anything else he would need to say to you. "Look, I know you and Munson are friends, and I see the way you look at him. You like him, and before you deny it, just listen to me." 
Your heart starts to race. Did he tell Eddie? Did Eddie say something to him? How are you going to face him when apparently other people are picking up on this? Are you this obvious? You can't take it anymore so you nod, waiting for more information as you toy with your hands. 
"You seem sweet, okay and I don't want to see someone like you hurt by someone like him. Eddie and I are cool, but this is what he does. he flirts with the new ones, takes them home, and never speaks to them again. When another newbie comes in, he starts it all over again. I just thought you should know since I'm sure you're a genuinely nice person and I'm certain Eddie is taking advantage of that." Your heart drops at his words. You feared you were being played with, but you didn't want to believe it. You fell for Eddie's charms, and now it's time to face the harsh reality that you had completely misunderstood this whole situation and made yourself look like an idiot in front of everyone. 
"Um, wow. Well thanks for telling me, I appreciate it. I'm gonna finish up here and head out. Have a good rest of your night." You say, rushing through so you don't tear up mid-sentence. Dylan nods, not saying another word but offering a sympathetic smile before turning on his heel and going back through the door he came. You pull the plug to the dish sink, gather your signed receipts to shove into the drawer, and give the glazed wood one last wipe down. You hear Eddie say your name through the window but you act like you can't hear him. 
This whole thing could have been avoided if you wouldn't have fallen for the good looks and quirks of the fuzzy-headed, wild-eyed line cook. You never should have caught feelings in the workplace; that's like rule number 001 in the service industry. Never, under any circumstances, canoodle with your co-workers. You thought maybe this was an exception but now here you are, proven wrong. 
Heading through the swinging door to the kitchen, you avoid eye contact with everyone, especially Eddie, as you walk straight to the back to gather your things. You feel humiliated and giving Eddie the satisfaction of seeing you upset is out of the question so the sooner you can get out of the building, the better. You give quiet goodbyes to the managers and make a quick escape, or you at least try to before a hand reaches out to hold your forearm. 
"Hey, wait for me. I'll walk you to your car." Eddie says softly, giving you a soft smile. You can't bear to look him in the eyes, so you gently pull away, shaking your head. 
"It's fine Eddie, thanks though." You reply, turning to finally leave. Eddie watches as you throw your bag strap onto your shoulder and hurriedly make your way to the exit. Hurt washes over him and he's more confused than when he learned what a tampon is in middle school. He furrows his brow and slumps his shoulders, going back to his final task before he can leave for the night. He doubts you're still going to be in the parking lot by the time he can get out there, but his heart is racing like he might have a shot at catching you before you leave. 
Did he say something? Did his flirting finally make you uncomfortable tonight? He racks his brain trying to come up with some sort of reason why you would be upset with him. Normally, he would suggest that maybe you're just tired but even when you're on the verge of falling asleep where you stand, you can still manage to give him a sleepy smile and a breathy laugh at another one of his terrible jokes. Maybe he took it too far. Maybe he weirded you out or gave you the wrong idea. It wouldn't be the first time he's scared someone off.
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You continue to go to work as normal, doing your best to not entertain anything Eddie had to say. The more distance you can create between the two of you, the less likely you'll get hurt. The time for stepping away from him to protect your feelings ended long ago but now it's time to do some damage control before you get worse. You get attached to people, and unfortunately that includes the bad people too. 
You thought long and hard about whether or not you actually believed Dylan. I mean it's his first time actually talking to you and he breaks the news to you that Eddie just wanted to get into your pants? Why would he care? After going back and forth with yourself over it for your entire day off, you don't know what to think but what you do know is that if they really are friends and if Dylan actually does care, then the safe bet is to just stay away. If he's telling the truth and you ignore that to continue growing your feelings for Eddie, you're in for a world of hurt and that's just not something you can deal with right now. 
You're not mean to Eddie when you work now; you just treat him like everyone else. You say "please" and "thank you", you ring in your extra sauces when you need them, you greet him just like you greet every other cook, and you don't flirt or bat your lashes at him anymore. Eventually, he is going to ask why but until he does, you can't bring yourself to ask him about it. It's humiliating and if he does have bad intentions, he's not going to be honest about it anyway so what's the point in starting that conversation? 
Eddie is trying everything. These past few days have been hell for him and he's grasping at straws. He offers to make you fries, you tell him, "Thank you, but I'm not hungry." He tries to ask you about your day, you apologize and say you're busy. He tries to catch you before you leave at night, but you practically sprint for the door the second you're finished with your side work. 
He watches through the window as you smile at your last patron of the night, desperately wishing that smile was for him. You haven't paid him any mind in 3 days and it's driving him crazy. It might be a little better if he actually knew what he did, but he's completely clueless. The awkward interactions are eating away at Eddie, and he knows if he doesn't say something soon, he'll explode. He starts his cleaning and breaking down the line as quickly as possible in an attempt to finish before you do so you don't run away from him again like you have been. If he doesn't get this straightened out, he doesn't know what he'll do. 
Your last tab is cashed out and you begin your cleaning, causing Eddie to pick up his pace. He knows it'll take you 20 minutes max now that you and him aren't chatting throughout to slow you down. As long as nobody gets in his way, he's determined to finally be able to talk to you tonight. Not playful banter, no pick up lines, just a real conversation. The sooner he gets back into your good graces, the better. 
"Trouble in paradise?" Eddie turns to see Dylan smirking with his arms across his chest. So much for nobody getting in his way. 
Eddie laughs humorlessly and goes back to his work. "Fuck off, dude." 
"Look man I'm just saying it seems like there's a little riff between the lovebirds lately. I wonder what happened, hm?" Dylan replies, his tone condescending as ever, doing his best to get a rise out of Eddie. To his dismay, it's working. 
"You don't know shit." Eddie mumbles, wringing out a sanitizer rag, his fingers already becoming little prunes extended from his hands from the extensive cleaning. 
"I don't know about that one, Ed. We had a really riveting conversation, seriously it was interesting, and I'm sure I know a little more than you think." This stops Eddie in his tracks. He breathes hard through his nose and turns on his heel, grabbing Dylan by his shirt and shoving him against the wall. 
"What the fuck did you say to her? Huh? Are you the reason she won't fucking talk to me? What the hell is wrong with you, you jealous son of a bitch?!" Eddie shouts. The manager on duty is already trying to break the two of them up and you hear the commotion from the front, peering your head into the window to see what the hell is going on. 
"Ooh Munson is mad! I just told her exactly what you're up to, that's all." Dylan says, calm as ever, a disgusting smile on his face. "Punching me won't undo it, so go ahead." 
"Enough! I swear to god, I will kick you both out." Eddie reluctantly loosens his grip on the boy's clothing, only pulling away completely when he's certain the risk of getting fired isn't worth hitting Dylan, even though the want to is overwhelming. 
 Eddie looks to you, his heart breaking at the disappointed look on your face. He decides this ends now. He has no idea what filth and lies have been planted in your head, but he needs to fix it and fast. He gives one last scowl to the man he was just threatening, and backs up, walking out of the kitchen door. 
He approaches the bar and you freeze. You don't know what you're supposed to say or do, so you do and say nothing. He has a soft look on his face, one very different than the one he was wearing in the kitchen just a minute prior. It's almost as if his rock hard persona turns to cotton candy when he's in your presence, and if you ask Eddie, that's exactly how that works. 
"Look, I know you don't want to talk to me and I'm still not entirely sure why, but please wait for me. Please talk to me, let me figure out what the hell happened, and let me fix it." He pleads. You think it over quickly, trying to figure out of this is something you even want to get into right now. You question his motives, still confused as ever. Helpless, you nod and see the relief wash over his entire body, giving you the same feeling as when you're in the middle of a horrific thunderstorm, and in an instant, the sun comes out of the dark clouds. Whether this conversation leaves you feeling like a sunny summer day or it leads to another crack of thunder, you're unsure but you have half an hour before you find out. 
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You sit there at the bar having finished your closing work, waiting for Eddie to finish his. Against your better judgement, you're happy to talk to him again but nothing can stop the knot in your stomach from growing tighter. All you wanted to do today was make some money, go home, cook dinner, take a bath, and watch a movie in bed but now, you're sitting here, anxiety building up in your body like a tower of mix-matched Lego pieces. 
You're taken out of your thoughts when Eddie exits the kitchen and walks toward you, not looking any less nervous than he did earlier in the evening. "Hey, sorry I took so long." 
"It's okay." You say quietly, standing up from the bar stool and pulling the strap of your backpack up onto your shoulder. "Do you want to talk outside?" 
Eddie nods, giving you a tight smile. He leads you out of the front door and around to the side of the building to the employee parking lot, not saying a word just yet. the silence is broken by the flick of your lighter, illuminating the tip of a cigarette freshly placed in your mouth, inhaling the smoke and feeling the tiniest amount of tension wash away. 
You lean against your car waiting for him to speak, still not really sure what you're supposed to say. He's the one that needed to defend himself, he's the one who wanted this conversation to happen. 
"Look, I don't know what Dylan told you but I can assure you it was a lie." He starts. He's fidgeting with his fingers, avoiding eye contact. He's lost every ounce of confidence he once had when he's on the other side of the wall passing you a basket of chicken tenders. 
"If you don't know what he said, then how would you know that?" You reply, taking another drag of your cigarette. You're hoping he's being genuine and not just defensive right off the bat, but if someone is lying about you, you'd feel defensive too. Everything is still fuzzy and figuring out this mess is like putting the pieces of a clear puzzle together.
"Because he fucking hates me. He does shit just to piss me off." Eddie shakes his head, pulling his own pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, lighting one between his lush lips. 
"Why would he hate you, Eddie? What did you do?" You don't mean to point blame at him but he had to have done something to make someone hate him to the point of making up a lie to make you ignore him for days.
"When I first started, he thought I was flirting with this girl he had a thing for, and she got a crush on me. She didn't want to hang out with him anymore and he thought I just swooped in and stole her. I didn't even like her like that but since then, he's made it his job to make my life a living hell when he's here. That includes fucking this-" Eddie gestures his hand between the both of you, "-up for me." 
"He told me you're fucking with me." You say, suddenly fixing your eyes on your sneakers. You almost shudder thinking back at the way your heart dropped to your stomach when Dylan first spoke to you. "Said you flirt with the new ones to get into their pants and then move on to the next one." 
Eddie's eyes widen, looking like he's a child being told Santa isn't real. The genuine look of shock is very convincing, and you're close to dropping every allegation from that expression alone. "Jesus Christ. Y/N, I promise that's not what's going on here." 
"How can I know that for sure? I felt like an idiot after he told me that. I was humiliated thinking I fell for some sleazy game you were playing." You're trying not to tear up. You can feel the thickness in your throat as you speak, hoping Eddie doesn't pick up on it. Six months of growing feelings for someone isn't something to fuck around about, and you might have taken this more seriously than it was intended, but when you're in that close of proximity with someone for that long, itching for the other to make a move, it's hard to not be heartbroken when something happens to it. 
"Sweetheart, I flirt with you because I like you. At first, it was just fun and I thought you were cute, but now I have a big, fat, stupid crush on you and I think about you all the time. I don't ask you to hang out with me after work so I can take you to my van and get your clothes off. I ask you to hang out with me because I like the way you make me feel." Eddie responds, making eye contact with you finally, searching your eyes for any trace of doubt. He wants you to know how serious he is. This isn't just a fling for him, much like it never was for you. You had a feeling this could turn into something special, though it goes against everything people tell you about workplace relationships. 
"And what would that feeling be?" You inquire, not breaking the contact between his chocolate pools and your own, finding a boldness in yourself that you didn't know existed. 
"You make me feel like I'm the coolest guy in the world. You laugh at my stupid jokes, you compliment me, you're interested in what I have to say.." He trails off with a fond smile on his face. There's a softness about him that balances out the roughness of his edges, endearing you even further. He reaches out to grab your soft hand with his rough one. "I really fucking like you." 
"I really like you too. I was going to ask you out the night Dylan dropped a bomb on me." You admit, rubbing your thumb over the skin of his hand. 
"That motherfucker." Eddie shakes his head, getting angry all over again at the fact that he finally had his chance and it got ruined for him in an instant. "I'm going to kick his ass." 
You pull your hand out of his and smack him lightly on the chest. "No, you can't get fired! Who will I talk to all day?"
"You've been doing just fine not talking to anyone." Eddie jokes, raising his eyebrows and bringing his cigarette to his lips, inhaling the smoke that seems to make this whole thing easier. After having a sick stomach for hours, he skipped his smoke breaks, partially leading to his angry outburst.
"Yeah and it was miserable! Do you know how much I hated having to go through my shift without hearing you call me sweetheart?" You laugh, a sound Eddie missed, even for just three days. 
He smiles down at you, dazzling as always. You missing him as much as he missed you is actively washing away his worries one by one like a salty body of water washing away a structurally questionable sandcastle. "I won't deprive you anymore." 
"I appreciate that." You grin, taking his hand back into yours. 
"Does that mean you believe me? You can ask anyone, I'm serious. I talk about you all the time. The guys make fun of me for my "heart eyes" the entire time you're here. Ask Adam, Levi, Grant, Brandon-" 
"Okay, okay." You cut off his adorable rambling. "Yes, I believe you."
Eddie breathes a sigh of relief. You can see his shoulders relax, his jaw loosen, and his posture seems straighter. "Good because I mean it. I'm sorry this was such a mess for you. Hopefully I can make up for it?"
"And how do you plan to do that, Munson?" You tease, giving him the flirty look he had been wishing to see from you again. He can't take his eyes off of the way you look at him through your thick lashes. 
He moves closer to you subtly, moving slowly so he can relish in the moment. "Can I start with that date?" 
"You sure can." You say just above a whisper. You're lost in his eyes once again, but this time, it's not just playful. There's a brand new feeling getting introduced here and it blows your mind that it was first kindled in a greasy kitchen. 
As long as Eddie is here, things are easy. You have your flirty boy back and being at work is a little easier again. With Eddie right behind you serving up winks and pet names just as often as he serves up appetizers, going home smelling like beer and deep fried cheese is worth it. 
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tinalbion · 3 months ago
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'𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞' ||
Part 2 of 'The Sweetest Sin'
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Logan Howlett/ The Wolverine x afab!Reader
𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞! Minors, DO NOT interact! Smut with plot, afab!reader, mutant!reader, unprotected p in v, outdoor sex, cowgirl, doggy style against the Honda Odessey, creampies, some possessive Logan, canon typical language, angst, feelings, talks of death, Deadpool and Wolverine spoilers, Cassandra doing her little finger fun, domestic Logan and Wade, happy ending
𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡: 9.1k
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You, Logan, and Wade are taken to an unknown hideout in the borderlands, and you find some unlikely help to take down Cassandra. There's definitely tension between you and Logan now, but you know there's something in him that can't deny that shot of getting back. Will anyone be able to convince him, and if so, what does that mean for you?
A few readers on Ao3 requested a part 2 to this and I wanted to make a part 2 SO badly! So here it is! I hope you enjoy it!
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© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.
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You didn't recall falling asleep in the back of the piece of garbage that was the Honda Odyssey, you didn't even remember Deadpool showing up and snuggling between you two as he passed out, waiting for one of you to wake up. Surprisingly, he didn't bother to wake either of you, not when it was clear you two just fucked your brains out in this God-forsaken vehicle. What a shame he hadn't been invited, but Wade was proud of his little Peanut for stepping up and being the big man, in more ways than one. 
As Deadpool slipped in between you two, somehow managing to make himself as comfortable as possible, none of you felt the car move, or drive away from its parked state, nor did you feel it when someone obviously picked all three of you up and took you into this strange place. 
You awoke to a strange room, discarded on a random bed in the middle of a strange building, looking as if it were any other apartment with several roommates. It was lived in, that was for sure, liquor bottles and beer cans were spread about the place. You looked around and couldn't imagine who would be here but all three of you had made it here, so that must have meant you found the people you needed to find. Or at least, they found you.
The three of you must have been thrown onto the same bed considering you woke up next to Deadpool, passed out, cuddled under a golden blanket, but there was no Logan. You looked around and saw him standing near a window, an open liquor bottle in his hand as he leaned against the wall, staring into the morning light.  A small smile played on your lips as you carefully pushed yourself off of the bed so as not to disturb Wade, and then you walked over toward Logan. 
He obviously heard you coming but didn't acknowledge you, not yet, he was still wallowing in self-pity as he drank away his feelings yet again. The vicious cycle continued. 
You stepped next to him and stared out the window for a moment, adjusting to being awake as you let out a yawn. “Any idea where we are?” You asked softly, your head turning to meet his. 
Logan shook his head. “Nope, but they're pretty well stocked, that's all that matters to me.” I scoffed and threw his head back, taking a large swig of Jim Beam.
With your hands fidgeting, he could tell you wanted to say something, probably about yesterday and what you two had done. He figured it was coming, and he'd thought about it for the while he'd been awake; he had every intention of remaining by your side, even if their timeline was going to shit and the X-Men were dead, he had you, he realized that now. 
“Go ahead and say what you wanna say, bub, may as well before the Mouth wakes up,” he grumbled softly. 
You chuckled at the nickname, finding it fitting for Wade, but you sighed and nodded. He was right, you weren't sure where this would end up for the both of you, so you had to say what you needed to say. 
“Logan, I know that you're probably wanting to forget yesterday ever happened, and I get it, but I never will. The fact still stands: I love you. Nothing's gonna change that, I don't care how bad you think you are, I see more than that.” 
Logan sighed and looked over at you, catching your gaze as you stared over at him, and his expression softened at the mere sight of you. How blind he'd been to your dedication, your love, your kindness… he wasn't used to being wanted anymore, he was used to being the town fuck up, the one everyone could sneer at and blame for their problems. 
“You really are somethin’ else,” he sighed and shook his head, not sure what to say to your words. “But I don't wanna forget yesterday, I just… I want to go back to our world and have it fixed. Then maybe… maybe I'd be worth your love for me.” He didn't look at you, his eyes stared out the window, the bottle still in hand. 
You sighed and stepped closer, your hand now resting gently on the back of his shoulder. “Logan, I–”
“Thor!” Wade gasped suddenly, pulling you both out of your conversation. He looked around in confusion and stared over at you both. “Oh, well lookie here, if it isn't the lovebirds.” 
You groaned at Wade and shook your head. “Don't start,” you warned. 
“Oh no, I'm not starting anything, I swear! Just wondering why it smelled a lot like sweat, bodily fluids, and regret in the back of that car,” he said, his tone chipper, knowing very well what happened in the back of that damn car. 
Logan turned toward him and glared at Wade but said nothing, you, on the other hand, let out an annoyed groan. “How about figuring out where we are instead of grilling me about what happened in the Honda?” You asked with a sharp tone. 
“And where’s the fun in that?!” He asked with a laugh that followed. “Come on, I mean, I normally don’t kiss and tell, but you sorta made it quite evident all over those seats. Was he any good, Baby Lee?” You could imagine the face he wore under that mask, the way he stared at you, expecting something out of his question, all you could do was laugh.
“Wade, shut up,” you huffed, but you gave him a face that indicated that Logan was in fact very good, and you hoped Logan didn’t see the face you made.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get all the juicy, wet, intimate details later.” Wade just laughed and looked around, checking the place out. “Well, do we know where we are?” He asked.
“No clue, but I like it here,” Logan replied gruffly as he held up the bottle for Wade to see. 
As soon as Wade was about to speak, there was a commotion coming from across the room as if someone was about to enter. You and Wade ran toward the door and got into a fighting stance, but the woman burst forth and immediately put Wade in his place as she easily flipped him over and held her sai sword to his throat as you backed off, raising your hands in surrender. 
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Deadpool gasped and held up a hand. He scrambled to his feet and stared at the woman, who seemed to retract her blade from his face, but she kept her eyes on him. She was dangerous, poised, and ready to strike if needed. 
You looked over at her in awe, admiring her, until someone else walked into the room, and the tension only picked up once he laid eyes on you both. His gaze was hidden under a pair of sunglasses, but that didn’t make his stare any less overwhelming. 
Then a small card flew through the air, glowing a hazy purple until a hand reached out and caught it. The man who stepped forward still seemed intimidating, but more boyish in nature, though your body relaxed slightly as it seemed they didn’t mean harm. All three of them stared at the three of you, and you couldn’t help but look back at Logan, who seemed slightly on edge by their presence. He lingered in the back near the rest of the liquor bottles, away from the crowd of people. 
“Okay… Look at you… all. You must be the others. Terrific.” Deadpool was unsure of who these people were, but after hearing about other survivors in the borderlands who worked against Cassandra, he had higher hopes. 
As they went down the line and introduced themselves, you remained in the middle, sticking close to Logan like a protective animal while you kept your attention to the new people ahead. Deadpool did a lot of the questioning, but whenever they spoke of taking on Cassandra, Logan always had something to say, and he would have rather spent his time wallowing away in here, surrounded by the booze. 
“You know, we never had a Wolverine up in here,” the card dealer called Gambit stated. But I can tell you now, it’s just a common courtesy to ask before you drink up all of my liquor.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t give a fuck,” Logan replied and slowly lifted the bottle toward his lips. 
Before you could say anything to scold him in any way, Gambit chuckled to himself and with a quick snap of his wrist, threw one of the playing cards directly into the glass, causing the bottle to shatter. You took a step toward Logan, knowing he could have gotten angry if he let it get to him, but he tossed the broken bottle neck aside and grabbed another full bottle.
“Boo boo boo,” he said in a sing-song voice, smiling like the cocky son of a bitch he was.  
“Look, now that that’s settled, we came a long way to find you three-” Deadpool started.
“There’s four of us,” Elektra corrected. 
“Wait, is it Magneto?” Deadpool gasped, hoping and praying it was one of the strongest X-Men. “Dear sweet God in heaven, let it be Magneto, because with him-” Wade pressed his hands into a prayer and sighed. 
“He’s dead,” Blade said, completely deadpan.
“Fuck! Well, uh, who brought us here?” Deadpool asked, feeling a little more hopeless than three seconds ago.
A voice came from behind them all. “That would be me.” A slender figure came from the shadows of the staircase and descended, walking into the room, everyone was insanely quiet as she revealed herself. “Don’t make me regret it.”
Your eyes watched her, and you felt something familiar looking into her eyes. Deadpool, on the other hand, seemed almost speechless.
“Holy shit, Logan, that’s her, that’s X-23. She’s the one I told you about.”
You were there for that uncomfortable conversation yesterday, hearing how the Logan from Wade’s universe had sacrificed himself for this child, who they presumed to be his daughter, her genes taken from his DNA. Made in a lab. Experimented on. Like the other mutants you’d known, she wasn’t safe. But Logan had saved her and many other kids who grew up in that lab, giving them a fighting chance as he sacrificed himself, finally being granted the peace he probably wanted in that universe. 
The thought of it made your heart ache, imagining the scene unfolding, but you looked back at Logan and saw the conflict in his eyes, the intense look they both shared. You looked between the two and felt something you couldn’t quite place. 
The rest of the group began to talk about how they could get out of the Void and back home, all while you, X-23, and Logan had somewhat circled around one another, sticking to the back of the room. You looked at her and saw just how much of Logan was in her, it was almost a spitting image, and your stomach twisted.
Your attention was taken back by the group talking about getting through to Cassandra, and they wanted to get the ending they deserved, they would fight for the freedom they deserved. Deadpool had somehow convinced them to fight through Cassandra’s defenses, get to Juggernaut’s helmet, and get her to send them back. Deadpool laughed happily and looked back toward the three of you. 
“X-23, what’s it gonna be?!”
“The name’s Laura. Let’s fucking go.”
Deadpool clenched his fists together with glee and repeated: “Let’s fucking go.”
The group had all decided that they’d leave in the morning, whether they wanted your and Logan’s help or not, it was already set for them. They would get what they fought for or die trying. Logan had to commend them, even a little bit, they were brave. Stupid, but brave. As they all scattered a bit to come up with a plan, Laura lingered for a moment and stared at you, then at Logan, and then she walked off with the rest of them. 
When they all walked off, leaving you two alone in the room, Logan grumbled in annoyance and stalked off toward the exit. You called out for him to wait, but he didn’t listen, he was feeling confused and hated the way that Laura looked at him, like she knew him, like she had already formed an opinion about him. If she was smart, she’d stay away, but no one ever really did. All they did was complicate things, and bring him more pain and suffering, so he planned on getting blackout drunk alone.
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Logan sat out by the fire as he held onto a bottle of Johnny Walker, his eyes glued to the embers, his mind miles away from everything. You figured since Wade was too busy with everything going on, he was distracted enough to give you enough time to talk to him alone since you’d been interrupted earlier. You took your time and waited to see if anyone would call out for you, thankfully they didn’t need you, so you stood up from one of the chairs near the poolside and walked toward the door as quietly as you could. 
Your steps weren’t muted in the slightest with the leaves crunching beneath your steps, but you stopped and hid behind one of the nearby trees as you saw Laura walking toward Logan already. You didn’t mean to intrude, but you also didn’t want to piss him off and bother him either.
He lifted his head to see Laura and waved his hand dismissively. “Hey, I’m not lookin’ for company. Get out of here.” He grumbled.
Laura laughed. “You remind me of him. Angry, drunk, mean-”
“Sounds like a great guy-” Logan interrupted.
“I wasn’t finished.” She looked back at the fire and stared at it for a moment, collecting her thoughts, and she wasn’t good with sharing them much like he wasn’t. “He showed up when it mattered the most. Couldn’t help it. You might not know it, but you’re a good man, Logan.” Her voice was soft but stern, telling him how she viewed him, no matter the universe, there was that strong belief she had that this Logan was no different.
Logan just chuckled and shook his head. “You might not know it, but apparently I’m the worst Logan.”
“I got to have a life because of you. I got to grow up because of you. A lot of kids did.”
“A lot of kids didn’t grow up because of me,” he retorted, his gaze still set on the fire before him. “Trust me, kid, I’m no hero.”
Laura sighed and looked back over at the man. “That suit says different.”
Logan looked down at the destroyed suit, the one he wore every single day beneath his clothes as a reminder of the pain he’d caused. “Yeah, ya like it? Scott used to beg me to wear it. So did Jean, Storm, Beast. All of ‘em. Wanted me to be part of the team. Told them they all looked fuckin’ ridiculous.” He sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly. “I couldn’t have them thinkin’ I wanted to be there. Then one day, I was off on my own, then the humans came and went mutant hunting.” His expression dropped, there was no longer sarcasm or disdain, but pain and sorrow.
“I can guess the rest,” Laura said softly.
You still stood behind the tree and listened closely to what Logan was saying, finally realizing that he was acknowledging what happened to you both, the losses you both took. You slowed your breathing so you could hear him properly, afraid that if you’d done anything to cause a distraction, you would never get to hear this again.
“No, no. Let… let me say it, I n- I need to say it.” Logan’s voice began to break, his eyes turned glassy and he felt the sting of tears welling in the corners of his eyes, but he stared ahead and recalled everything. “By the time I stumbled home shit-faced from the bar, it was too late. They were dead, every…” He paused, his voice wavering with pain, the dryness in his throat stung as he tried to come to terms with it all.  “This suit’s all I got to remind me of who they were. And what I did. And when I look at Star, it hurts because I see the disappointment, the hurt I caused…”
You tried not to cry too loudly as you leaned your body against the tree, you sighed softly, wiping away the falling tears as you finally heard Logan admit to it all out loud. When you were back home, he avoided talking about it like the plague, but having this young woman here who could very well be his daughter of sorts, looking at him like that, it made him want to open up. And that made you happy. It wasn’t opening up to you, but he was opening up, and that was something beautiful in itself. You let out another small sigh and closed your eyes as you leaned your head against the tree.
Logan sniffled but took another long swig of the drink in his hand and tried to steel himself once again. Laura looked over at him with understanding, she had witnessed pain in her Logan’s life as well, and she understood as well as he would. 
“We’re headed to Cassandra’s at sun up,” she finally said.
“Have fun” Logan huffed. “Not my fight.”
Laura leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees as her gaze was intense. “We won’t pull this off without you.” She stood up in a swift motion and began her walk back to the hideout. 
Logan looked over at her and sighed. “Hey, whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy.”
The young woman stopped and turned back to look at him, her face still reserved as she saw the shell of a man sitting in front of the fire. “You were always the wrong guy. Till you weren’t.” She turned back and made her way back to the hideout, leaving you and him alone once more. 
You waited for a few moments as he continued to sit by the fire, his eyes still glued to the flames that flickered and licked away at the firewood, and with a deep breath, you barely moved out from your spot when you heard Logan’s voice. 
“You can come sit down,” he said firmly. 
Shit. He knew you were there, this entire time, he knew. And just maybe… he finally confessed all of that to Laura because he knew you were there, you needed to hear it come from him, even if it was indirectly. Logan sat on the large log and continued to listen to your footsteps, he could even hear the sound of your heartbeat quickening as you got closer, but he didn’t say anything about it. 
As you sat down on the log beside him where Laura had been, you didn’t look over toward him yet, you continued to stare off at the fire until you felt it was right to speak, but even then you were unsure. “It wasn’t your fault, you know,” you said softly. “You may have felt as if you’d abandoned us, but, you didn’t. I know things are complicated for you, feelings and emotions, but I know you wouldn’t have let them all die on purpose. And I'm not disappointed in you, if I was, I wouldn't be here.”
Logan looked over at you and sighed, his hand still wrapped around that damned bottle as he just stared. “I heard them screamin’ for me, Star, as the mansion burned to the ground. They all screamed and I hid. I hid because-”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t cause it, you didn’t allow the humans to come in and do what they did. How would you have known?” You asked, swinging your body to face him, staring with intensity. “How were you supposed to know?”
“I should have known!” He spat in defense. “I should have and I didn’t! I could have, I dunno, sniffed them out and followed my gut instincts when I knew something was off. But instead, I got shit-faced and ignored it. Ignored them and you.” He hung his head, the bottle lowered, and he placed a hand over his face as he tried so desperately to keep the tears in. This wasn’t who he was, he needed to live with this guilt, he needed to live with it every day to ensure he’d never forget.
Your gaze softened as you scooted right next to him, then wrapped an arm around him as you leaned your head on his shoulder. “Logan, you beat yourself up for it but just know, even in the end, they still cared about you. No one thought you were a bad guy, you’re not a bad guy, you’re in pain… and I hate seeing you in pain.” You sighed and closed your eyes, holding onto him with as much strength as you could muster as your hand rubbed comforting circles across his back. 
The edge he always had was breaking, the hardness from the anger he felt daily had been calming down thanks to you, and it was only for a moment that Logan finally allowed himself to sigh heavily as a few tears fell. You wouldn’t comment on it, you’d give him the time he needed to recuperate and pull himself back together like you always had, giving him the support and the space he needed. 
But you couldn’t stop your own tears from falling, ones not out of sadness, but out of acceptance. You heard that Logan confessed aloud how terrible he felt, how conflicted he’d been because of all of this, he wasn’t able to process the tragedy you’d both lived through so easily. It hurt you the most because you had to see the man you loved suffering, blaming himself, and adding more to his trauma. But you wanted to be there, you had to be there for him, to prove he deserved the good with all that bad, and as you’d told him in that car, you would be there every day if you had to to remind him of that. 
“I got you, Logan,” you whispered softly, smiling as your eyes remained closed and your arm tightened around him. “I’m glad I got to live, I’m glad I got to be here for you when no one else could be. And Wade, he doesn’t seem all that bad, either, he’s a lot like you in a way. He wants to help, deep down.” 
Logan scoffed and shook his head, almost offended by the comparison, but he didn’t respond, he just sat back and listened to you, your voice. It grounded him in moments like these now, and he was thankful he had that. After a while, Logan’s arm wrapped around you and pulled you closer to him, his side pressed against yours as you both looked at the fire. He allowed himself this personal pleasure as he nuzzled against your hair, your scent making him think of the good days before it was all so fucked up, and it was peaceful. He hadn’t experienced peace in so long. 
“I hope you can forgive me,” he said softly, his lips pressed to your hair as he gently kissed you, his eyes still fixated on the flames. 
“I have nothing you need forgiveness for, Logan,” you replied. 
His arm tightened around you, your face pressed against the fabric of his damaged suit. He relished in the feeling of you in his arms, the way you fit so perfectly against him, the scent of your hair filled his senses as he closed his eyes momentarily. He exhaled as he reached up to slowly stroke your hair, playing with the locks between his fingers. 
“I hope they can forgive me,” he said sadly. “I think about that every day, wondering if they’d see how much it fucked me up, how bad I wanna take it back…”
“Oh, Logan, they wouldn’t blame you, okay? They would never blame you, they cared about you despite how you pushed them away, not wanting to hurt them, and you took care of them till the end. You can’t say it’s your fault when it wasn’t, it was the humans.” 
He sighed again and pulled your head closer, kissing your hair once more. “I know that I hurt you though, I know I hurt them, but I hurt you the most. The one person who I had a chance to show that I was more than what I thought I was, and I fucked it up. I took it all for granted…” He sighed heavily and tried to fight back the negativity, but it was sinking in again, but you caught on.
You sat up, pulling away from his grasp as you placed your hands on either side of his face. “Logan, stop, don’t do that. You were suffering, okay? And I get that, you weren’t used to people being there, treating you like you deserved. That’s why I stayed, I always saw you more than others may have thought. You were in need of someone to be there for you like you were there for others. Like Rogue, like Charles, you were there for them despite feeling you shouldn’t be. Let me be here for you, please, Logan.”
He sighed heavily and tried to accept your words, the emotion behind them tearing away at him, clawing through to the depths as he sat there with you looking at him as if he was the most important thing to ever exist in this timeline, and the next.
“I think we should try to get home,” you said softly as your hand came to rest on his chest. “We should help them get to Cassandra. We can’t run anymore, I’m tired of it, aren’t you?”
“I’m tired too, Star, tired of runnin’,” he mumbled as he placed the bottle down beside the log, wrapping both arms around you and pulling you in tightly. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, feeling the weight of his mind channeling through his embrace. He rested his head on top of yours as he sat there with you in his arms, wishing you both could go back and he could do things differently. His fingers gently massaged your scalp as he held you tight against him, stroking your hair and allowing his fingers to caress your head gently. 
“I know,” he replied gently, his voice low and husky. “You don’t have to.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from pressing your face to his chest, feeling safe in the comfort of his arms as he held onto you, and you let out a small hum of contentment as you felt Logan allowing himself to feel what he wanted to feel instead of what he thought he deserved. “I don’t wanna let you go, Logan,” you whispered softly. 
Logan pulled away to look at you, his gaze locked with yours as he offered a ghost of a smile. He slowly reached out, his fingertips gently traced along your jawline, his touch sent a shiver down your spine. 
“Logan,” you said softly, “should we…?” You trailed off, the feeling of his fingers against your skin taking over your entire mind, causing you to lose your train of thought.
He noticed the way his touch affected you, the way you responded so well to a gesture so simple, it made a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as his eyes were still locked on yours. “I know, I know, but can you blame me? Especially after yesterday?” He asked, his fingertips still tracing your jawline, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. 
“What if they see us?” You asked him, not really believing that would stop either of you at this moment. The tension between you both was palpable, and he didn’t want to lose this feeling. You bit your lip in contemplation, trying to decide if you two would have enough time to get away with anything.  
“I know,” he said huskily, his voice strained with his own internal battle. “But you’re makin’ it damn near impossible to hold back when you’re lookin’ at me like that, princess.” Logan’s breath caught in his throat as he heard your heart beginning to beat faster within your chest, only signaling that you wanted it, too. 
You let out your own sigh and nodded, the blush creeping into your cheeks as your attention was now solely focused on him. “I can’t blame you, I feel the same right now…”
“Then why are we fightin’ this? If we really are gonna go after this bald chick, what if we end up stayin’ here or worse? You think I could forgive myself for not showin’ you just how much I need you?” One of his hands moved to your side, resting gently on your hip until his fingers dug into you. “I can’t fight the hold you got on me, doll. Give in to what we both want,” he murmured, his words a soft plea.
“Logan,” you sighed softly as you leaned in closer, thinking of all the ways you wanted him, all the ways you could show him just how much you loved him. Your eyes stared into his, half-lidded, filled with desire as you fought back to push him down right there.
The way you said his name like that, tinged with raw desire, it was all the encouragement he needed. Logan’s hand on your hip tightened further, and a guttural moan escaped his throat as he closed the remaining distance between you both, pressing his body against yours with a restraining need. He kissed you back with a fervor that surprised even him, his mouth devouring yours as his hands dug into your skin. 
Your breaths were short and fast, wanting nothing more than to taste him, to feel him, wanting to enjoy every moment you had with him before tomorrow. You couldn’t silence the soft groan you released against his lips as your hands reached up and tangled into his shorter hair, pulling on his gently while your tongues battled one another. 
Logan’s chest rumbled with a primal groan as you pulled at his hair, the feeling of your fingers buried in his locks sent a pleasurable shiver down his spine. He deepened the kiss, his tongue invaded your mouth as he claimed it with his own. 
He let out a frustrated growl as his hands gripped your sides, pulling you flush against his body as he made you straddle his waist, spreading your thighs wide open with his large hands. His eyes stared into yours, taking that moment to look deep within yours to make sure this was what you wanted, that he was what you wanted. He’d give you the opportunity to take it back if you wanted, even just that one day with him would have been enough for him to live off of. He leaned in, his lips brushed yours hesitantly. “You really want this?” He asked, checking one more time. 
You nodded in confirmation and pushed your lips against his, kissing him deeply to only signify your answer as his arms wrapped around you to pull you closer. He deepened the kiss between you both, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you moaned against his lips. His hands roamed across your back, settling at your backside as he pressed against you, showing you how hard he already was. He broke the kiss briefly, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his voice hoarse with need. “Need you to take those off,” he instructed. 
You pulled away and shrugged out of your top, undoing the intricate latches and buttons, making sure each part of the uniform remained intact as you tossed it aside as Logan worked quickly on his. You were both impatient and wanted nothing more than to tear at each other, to feel each other in that closeness once more, feeling his hands and mouth on you in ways you’d only dreamed of. Once he was back on the log, his pants undone and slightly pulled down to accommodate you, he pulled you back into his lap while your soaked folds rubbed gently against him. Logan hissed through his teeth, his fingers dug into your hips as he encouraged your movements, coating his cock in your sweet juices as you ground your hips against his. 
“Yes, just like that,” he grumbled, his head leaned back with his eyes closed. 
You continued to rub yourself against him, slowly and gently pushing against him, almost having him slip inside of you to only then pull away. He was dripping with pre-cum as he twitched with every lost touch, he needed you and did not like how long he had to wait. 
His eyes rolled back and he let out a guttural groan as he felt the warmth of your wetness rubbing against him. “Fuck, I need you, no more teasin’,” he demanded, his voice strained as his fingers dug into the flesh of your hips. “Please, sit on me.”
The moan you released was almost feral as you lifted your hips, slowly sliding down onto his cock, which caused you to groan out his name a little louder than intended. He was impatient and thrust deep inside of you, his hands slamming you down onto him. “Oh fuck, Logan, you’re gonna ruin me…”
His grip never loosened as he guided you up and down on his thick length. “Good, that’s the plan. Wanna ruin you for anyone else,” he growled possessively, his eyes locked onto yours. His pace quickened as he slammed you down onto him again and again, and it was funny that you thought you had any control here. 
Your body slumped forward as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling your body against his, your hands and breasts pressed tautly against his chest as you leaned your head against his shoulder. His hips fucked up into you, pulling out those sweet sounds he heard from you yesterday, smiling like a cocky bastard with every gasp and whine you released. He went on like this for ages, dragging it out, slowing his pace when he saw you were getting too lost in the moment, and he laughed at your faces when you got upset with his teasing.
After a while, he pulled you into a heated kiss, groaning against your lips as he playfully bit your bottom lip, swiping his tongue against yours as his hips continued to piston up into yours. You were soaked, his thighs covered in your slick as he felt his abdomen tightening. 
“Please, Logan- Coming soon!” You managed to say between each slap, his hips relentlessly pounding into you. 
“Look at me, wanna see your face.” 
You snapped your head up, your gaze locked onto him as you tried your best not to break the stare, but it was difficult to hold on when he was pounding into you mercilessly. His low grunts and growls mixed with your gasps and whines only made everything so much sweeter. His face contorted in pleasure as his thrusts became erratic as he buried himself deep and growled as he released. His entire body stiffened for a moment as he finally chased his release, filling you up as your walls milked every last drop. “Fuck,” he growled as he leaned his forehead against your shoulder. “
You continued to ride him until you had finally chased your release shortly after his, and your cries died down to soft moans as your hips gently slowed to a gentle grind, smiling as you nuzzled your face against his. You hummed softly and closed your eyes, cuddling on his chest as you both took a few moments to rest. 
“You okay?” he asked after a few moments, his eyes slightly opened to look at you. 
A smile spread across your face and you nodded. “Better than okay,” you sighed in reply. “You?”
He grinned and pressed a kiss against your forehead. “Also better than okay. Not ready to pull out yet,” he mumbled and shifted his hips upward once, causing you to moan softly at the feeling. 
“No one said you had to,” you replied with a smile, hugging him as you rested against him. 
Logan’s eyes opened and he looked down at your mess of hair. “Weren’t you just worried about them seein’ us?” He asked, teasing you now.
You scoffed and smiled as your eyes remained closed. “I think the only one I’m worried about is Wade,” you grumbled and shifted a little, pushing yourself off of him to look into his eyes. Your smile only grew as you reached up to cup his cheek, feeling that overwhelming sense of comfort wash over you. He was allowing himself to feel for you, he was slowly tearing down that wall, and he was becoming Logan again. “Are you gonna come with us tomorrow?” you asked in a whisper.
His face peeked up at yours, his eyes filled with uncertainty while he rubbed comforting circles against your back. “Look, I dunno, I mean, it’s not somethin’ I should be involved in…”
You sighed and rested your head against his shoulder. “Laura is right, you know. You are a good man, you’ll come through.”
Logan sighed and sat back with you wrapped in his arms, his softened length still buried inside of you, and here you were talking about all this complicated emotional shit. He looked past you, over your head at the building where the rest of them were, thinking of your words and Laura’s. If this was to happen, if he were to do this and fight alongside them, alongside you, then maybe he was worthy of wearing the suit. Logan leaned in, kissed the side of your head, and sighed again. “We’ll see,” he replied gently. “But first, I think I wanna have more of you.” He pulled back further to look down at you, smiling as you met his gaze. “Get up, put your hands on the car, princess.”
Your eyes widened as you pulled back to look at him. “On the car, huh?” You asked with a playful tone.
“Don't question me,” he said with a smile, bringing his hand down on your backside, and giving you a small slap. “Up.”
You huffed and slowly pulled off of him, smiling as you both stared at each other while you stood over him. Then, you made your way to the hood of the car, standing with your legs spread apart and hands splayed on the hood. You looked over your shoulder at him as he approached, half of his suit hanging off him. He stopped behind you, slowly pumping himself in his hand as he looked at your body. All of the curves, the dips, the way you reacted just for him, it drove him crazy. The fact he'd been missing out on this for so long had made him feel foolish, how could he have looked past this the entire time? 
Logan growled appreciatively at the sight of you bent over the Honda, your back arched and your hair hung over your face as you looked over at him. He ran his hands over your rear, squeezing gently before he parted your cheeks to reveal your back entrance and your dripping wet core. "So beautiful..."
"Mhm and all yours, Wolvie, now come on, don't make me wait, I need you." You hummed seductively, looking over your shoulder at him, your legs shaking with excitement. 
Logan's eyes met yours, filled with primal possession. "All mine..." He growled possessively. He lined himself up with your opening and slowly pushed inside, his hands gripping your hips for leverage while he took his time, gradually pushing deeper and deeper until he was fully sheathed inside you. He started to move, pulling out slowly before slamming back inside you with a grunt. He set a brutal pace, pounding into you from behind with powerful thrusts while his hands never left your hips, holding you in place as he took you hard and fast. 
"Fuck, you're so tight... so fucking perfect..." Logan's grip on your hips tightened as he increased his pace, his movements became jerky and uncoordinated. “Tell me you’re gonna come, princess,” he gritted out, his voice strained with passion as he reached between you both and began to play with your clit. 
You could barely contain your cries and moans of pleasure, you were no longer afraid of being found out, you were too lost in the pleasure of it all. Your body shook and reacted so well to his touch, it was as if he’d navigated your body so well over the years that he knew which of your buttons to push. It was impressive, he had studied you, it seemed. Your head turned to look over your shoulder, your eyes lust-filled and hooded as you tried your best to speak between each hard thrust. “Logan, gonna come soon-” you cautioned. 
Logan let out a feral growl and buried his face in the back of your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your middle to hold you even closer as he rutted against your ass. He continued his assault as his hips bucked wildly, nearing his edge as he made sure you were close behind. “C’mon, pretty girl, I know you can give me another one,” he hummed against your neck, kissing it as one arm still clung around your middle, and the other played with your clit, already clenching against him. 
You couldn’t hold on anymore while his large fingers rubbed you so well, or the way he fucked into you as if his life depended on it, you came undone within moments. With a final few thrusts, Logan buried himself to the hilt and found his release, yours chasing soon after as he spilled himself inside of you, and growled low against your neck. His body convulsed with the aftershocks, his hips slowly ground against your ass as his arms tightly wound around your middle again. Your breathing was heavy, and your body was warm thanks to him, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Logan collapsed onto your back, his body heavy and languid as he nuzzled into your neck, still holding the majority of his weight so as not to crush you. His arms released your waist as he slowly withdrew from your body, allowing you a moment to adjust. You stood up and tried to regain your balance, your hand gripped onto Logan’s arm, smiling as he helped steady you until you were well off on your feet. 
Something inside of him awoken as he looked down at you, covered in sweat, smelled of smoke and his scent, looking up at him like you were… He was a fool, but you accepted him, every part of him, he was your fool. “Sorry, I’ve been so fuckin’ blind, Star,” he mumbled as he pulled you against him, wrapping his large arms around you as he placed a kiss on your forehead. This was the softest he’d ever been, he didn’t want any of the others to see, but you were worth getting caught for. Logan sighed and stood there with your face buried against his chest. 
“So, you coming with us?” You asked once more, your voice soft, and vulnerable, but you wanted to have him there with you.
“Don’t push it,” he warned, a playful edge to his tone. “C’mon, we gotta get you cleaned up.”
“So does that mean you’re coming back inside?” you asked with a smile. 
Logan shook his head and looked back at the car. “Think I’ll sleep out here for some peace and quiet.”
“Could I join you, then?”
How could he deny you? He smiled and nodded once, rolling his shoulders. “Since you asked so nicely,” he replied and kissed your head again, then walked over to hand you the top half of your outfit. He helped you get back into it and smiled down at you when he zipped up the front half, his hand lingering on you a little longer than usual, his eyes stared down and traced over your features, he just couldn’t believe he had reasons to look elsewhere when you were right here.
“What?” You finally asked with a smile on your lips, staring up at him curiously.
Logan just hummed and shook his head. “Nothin’, c’mon, let’s go and clean up.”
You turned from him first to walk back to the hideout, but you peeked over your shoulder at him, smiling wider as you held out your hand for him, waiting for him to take it. As he stared at you, thinking of all the things that he should have done, the look you gave him had wanted him to think about the future. To fight for a future if you were in it. So he slid his hand in yours, gripped it tight, and gave a gentle squeeze as he trailed along beside you as you both made your way inside as quietly as possible. 
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The battle was exhaustive, you had fought alongside your new friends, making sure they were safe enough to get the package to them, and then you followed behind Wade and Logan to confront Cassandra. Wade was knocked out on the side of the room as Logan was stuck on all fours, Cassandra sticking her weird hate-filled fingers inside of Logan’s mind. His yells and guttural screams of torment caused you to panic until the bag flew into Wade’s hand as Laura disappeared from the window. 
You were frozen as you heard his yells, the echoes of the screams you heard from your friends as they pleaded for their lives, you felt the guilt Logan carried with him as you watched the scene unfolding, but the call from Wade snapped you out of your daze.
“Baby Lee, here!” He groaned as he slid the bag toward you, the heavy metal helmet hitting the side of your foot. 
You bent down and snatched it from the bag, then you ran up behind Cassandra as you plopped the large helmet over her head while Wade scrambled to your side, recovered from being knocked out, and held onto her tightly. You stood close by to ensure she remained in his grasp, and boy did she scream when she was pulled out of her little mind games. The large, dark veins within her skin pulsated, her eyes glazed over and turned red as she screamed. 
“You’re gonna send us home, or I’m gonna twist your fuckin’ head off!” Deadpool threatened, his arms wrapped around her as he also held the helmet in place. 
Cassandra just laughed. “I can’t send you home unless you get this thing off my head… And as soon as you do that, I’m going to boil your brains on an atomic level… Either you kill me or I kill you, both wonderful options.” She said as she patted Wade’s arm.
The boys began to argue back and forth on who would end up killing the woman, but after a moment of back and forth, as you stood by and grumbled at their theatrics, Pyro came in and shot Cassandra four times in the stomach, bringing her closer to death than the other two actually did. After Logan punched his lights out, the blood poured from her mouth and she stared up at Logan in shock as he looked at Wade.
“Hey, hey, if I take this helmet off, do you promise not to kill us?”
“I promise I’ll kill you first thing!” She gasped and looked at you and Logan, smiling as the blood dripped from her mouth. 
Logan sighed, looked at them, and demanded that he take the helmet off to the point where he yelled at Wade, demanding once again to remove it. “I am wearing this suit and that means a lot of things, but most of all, I’m an X-Man. And I know your brother. As much as I wanna kill you, every bone in my body wants to FUCKING kill you, he would not let me stand here and watch you die!”
He placed his hands on the helmet and sighed. “This is for him, this is for Charles.”
He appealed to Cassandra, speaking of Charles as you stood off to the side, your expression filled with sadness, hearing about the professor again, feeling that heartbreak again. You felt bad for the woman before you, you wished she could have had that love she craved, but you just wanted to get all three of you home and back to your worlds.
As Cassandra spared you all, she gave you a head start of four seconds to jump through the portal back to New York, and all three of you ran. You wished the best for your friends as they watched you from below, but you could feel the excitement pumping as you ran and took off, flying through the air beside Logan. 
Maybe you all had a shot at being happy again, this time, together.
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You went for the last slice of pizza at the same time Wade did, and you both stared each other down as your hands rested on the box. It had been a few weeks while you and Logan lived with Wade and his roommate Althea, you and Logan still waiting on an application for your own place to go through. Al didn’t seem to mind and neither did Wade, in fact, he preferred if you two stayed, but you needed your own space. Besides, sharing beds wasn’t exactly what you’d call fun with a blind woman who snored like a chainsaw going off in a construction zone, and an ADHD-riddled bigmouth who seemed to talk in his sleep. So for now, you all shared your dinner nights together at the table, and you and Wade were having an intense stare-down.
“You know, Baby Lee, I should get the last piece because I ended up having to do the dishes because someone couldn’t keep it in their pants,” Wade began his argument, smiling with a raised eyebrow.
You stared at him deadpan and continued to hold your ground. “Then what about last week when I had to do them because someone ended up putting his suit in the washing machine and fucking up the whites in the load, so I had to fix everything?”
“Well, now that’s just not fair-”
“Wade, give her the damn slice,” Logan grumbled as he chugged a cold beer, glaring over at the merc. 
“Oh, now that’s just favoritism!” He retorted.  
You smirked as you leaned slightly against Logan, showing him you appreciated the backup, but your eyes never left Wade’s. “Yeah, Wade, give me the slice,” you said sarcastically. 
What you both didn’t seem to realize as you bickered, Blind Al had snatched the slice and ate it herself, giving a small bite of it to Dogpool, who sat eagerly on Al’s lap. You two didn’t seem to mind much as Logan chuckled to himself, looking over at Al as she chewed away at the cheesy goodness while your argument grew more competitive by the minute. 
By the time you figured it out, you looked over at Logan with a pout and back at Wade. “This is your fault,” you grumbled.
“My fault?! Look here, missy-” Wade huffed and threw an empty solo cup at you.
You gasped and looked at him with a shocked expression, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners. “Oh that’s it, Wilson, you’re dead!” You laughed and launched toward him as he bolted away from you. 
Dogpool made some silly yapping noises as Logan sighed and shook his head, finishing his beer, watching as the life in your eyes came back, it had been steadily returning since your first time with Logan. He noticed the little things that changed in you, and you noticed the changes in him, too. He sat back with a smile as you and Wade fought like children, sort of enjoying the life that surrounded him now, appreciating the ways he and Wade were alike, the way you took care of them both, and just happy with the fact that Logan had felt as if he’d found peace.
That night, you were snuggled against him as you always were, head resting against his chest as you clung to him, but he’d been awake just looking at you. He would stare down at you, brush your loose hairs away from your face as he saw just how peaceful you’d looked, the way you could sleep without having to worry or remain on edge. He felt the same too, he felt safe now, and with you here, there wasn’t anything in the way to stop him. With you here in his arms, he felt that all was right, he’d gotten the ending he wanted, and he felt that your friends would have wanted him to be happy in some capacity. 
You stirred slightly, blinking slowly as you stared up at Logan, meeting his eyes. “Couldn’t sleep?” you asked softly.
His smile grew slightly and the corner of his mouth twitched. “No, I just was thinkin’ is all.”
You hummed in response and readjusted your body, looking up at him comfortably while you pulled the blanket up under your chin. “About what?”
“About how happy I am.”
“Happy, huh?” 
He chuckled and nodded, pulling you closer against his chest as his large arm wrapped around your back, his chin resting gently on your head. “As much as I thought this wasn’t possible like I wasn’t allowed to feel happy while the others… well, you know. But, I think it’s okay, this is okay…”
You smiled and closed your eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat as you placed your hand against his chest. “Everything is gonna be okay, Logan. I know it is because you’re here, and Wade is here for us, too.” 
He scoffed and nuzzled against your hair, closing his eyes, and smiling as he inhaled your scent, the inviting smell of you mingling with his own. As he lay there with you in his arms on the air mattress, he thought that you were right about it despite him not wanting to admit it, everything would work out in the end. It had so far, all thanks to Wade fuckin’ Wilson. 
“That’s good enough for me,” Logan mumbled softly. 
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chio-chan2artbox · 3 months ago
Note
hi i just started my doofenperry phase more in full and found your stuff and even though the lyrics dont fit all of it ive been hearing not sorry for loving you from epic the musical while seeing the amazing art and—one sec grabbing the song so you dont have to
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xCZ9kKR9YHo&pp=ygUdbm90IHNvcnJ5IGZvciBsb3ZpbmcgeW91IGVwaWM%3D
this thing! the music at the end the mmm uhh anyway bye! *scampers away*
MY HEAAAART 😩😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭, I was like… oh this song is cool! I can see Heinz singing this to Perry… and then it turns out the guy didn’t felt the same waaaay!? Nooooo *cries*. I did a little doodle inspired on this song anyways lol, but I will pretend Perry realizes that he loves Heinz as well and then they kiss and live happy ever after :v (angst with happy ending simp here).
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amethystarachnid · 5 months ago
Text
LITTLE STAR
⤷ STEVE G. ROGERS
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 Pairing: Steve G. Rogers x fem!reader
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Genre: angsty (ok, a lot of angst) romance and tiny bit of fluff
ᯓᡣ𐭩 AU: Steve is born in the 21st century and isn't a superhero, basically the world is like ours
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Story type: one shot
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Word count: 4.1 K
ᯓᡣ𐭩 TW(s): talks of death, domestic abuse, deadbeat father, a lot of angst, I know nothing about football so incorrect football things.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Request: Hi! | have a request for a story for Steve Rogers x female character. The genre would be romance but it would be very angsty/sad but with a happy ending. (the request is longer but if I write it here it'll spoil the story)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Comment if you want to be added to the taglist (specify if you want the everything taglist or for a specific character)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Songs & Superheroes tales — The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)
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Seven years ago
“48…49…50! I’ll find you, Y/N!” Steve says as he turns around from the tree he was facing, his eyes scanning the small park, trying to find where you were hiding. You have always been good at this game, but he was always better.
“Found you!” Steve says as he sees you crunching down in the little house on the slide.
“How can you always find me?!” You sigh and sit down on the dirty wood of the Colorful House,that’s how you both called it even though with the years it had lost most of its color, leaving only some red and some blue here and there.
“I already checked your other favorite places, so the Colorful house was the only place left.” Steve explains proudly as he sits down next to you.
“Next time I’ll be the one counting and I’ll find you in less than five seconds!” You pout, but the smile comes back on your face when a certain thought crosses your mind, “Are you excited to start middle school, Stevie?”
The boy shrugs his shoulders, “it’s just school.”
“No it isn’t! It’s the big kids’ school!” You were excited, like really excited. You, who usually hate school, haven't stopped talking about middle school since the start of summer break. You have already bought all the supplies you needed and more.
“It will all be the same, study, more study and study even more!” Steve sighs, you give him a playful nudge with your elbow.
“You say that only because you’ll have less time to play football.” Football has always been Steve’s sport, he liked and he was damn good at it.
“Maybe.” Steve gave you a small smile.
Three years later
“Stevie? What’s this?” You ask, confused, as you look at the big truck in front of Steve’s house, two men are putting boxes in it.
Steve flinches when hearing his name, he didn’t want her to see this, “Y/N! I can…can explain…”
“Are you moving out? Without telling me?” Your voice is barely a whisper as you look up at your best friend, he has gotten taller over the years and his first muscles started to show thanks to his football training.
“No! I mean yes but-“ Steve sighs and takes a deep breath, “Remember my dream school?”
“Of course.” How could you forget? He always talks about it, it’s a private high school in San Francisco that’s literally connected – for lack of better terms – with a college there. Basically, after you finish high school you already have a seat ready for you in the college, which is one of the best in the country.
“Well, I got offered a sports scholarship to go there!” Steve sounds so happy about that, are you a bad friend because you aren't happy for him? Are you selfish? Probably yes, because the only thing that you can think about right now is how he’s going to leave you alone.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You can barely hear yourself now. Did he think that you would try and make him stay? Well…That’s what you want to do, but you don't want to be a shitty friend, you don't want Steve to abandon his dream for you. Because that’s the thing in your friendship: if you were to ask Steve to not go to San Francisco he would drop everything and stay with you.
“I wanted to tell you, really but…I didn’t know how to tell you without upsetting you.”
Translation: if you were upset you’d ask me to stay, I’d stay because I hate seeing you upset, but I don’t want to stay because this is my dream.
“I am upset, no point in lying, it’s just…I would’ve told you if I were in your place.” You sit down on the porch of Steve’s house.
“I know, I’m sorry…” Steve sits down next to you and, as always, you can’t bring yourself to stay mad at him.
“I already forgave you,” You smile softly as you shrug your shoulders, “so, when do you have to leave?”
“The day after tomorrow.” Now it’s Steve’s voice that’s a mere whisper. The day after tomorrow? And when was he planning on telling me? When he was already on the plane? God knows how much you want to tell him all your thoughts, but you have only a few hours left to spend together and you don't want to spend them fighting on not talking to each other.
“Then why are we sitting here?” You ask, standing up and holding out your hand towards your best friend, “Let’s spend as much time as we can together!”
Steve smiles up at you and grabs your hand, pulling himself up, “I like your plan.”
During the next day you two did everything you could think of: you skated together, had a sleepover, you even made bracelets for each other – the one Steve made for you said ‘Little star’ because that’s how he liked to call you, while the bracelet you made for him said ‘Stevie’.
“But will you come back during the holidays?” You ask, Steve stands next to his father’s car, Steve’s mom will drive her son and husband to the airport: Steve’s dad will stay with him for a few weeks until he’s gotten used to San Francisco, then Steve will move in his dorm at the school and his dad will come back.
“I promise.” Steve smiles down at you and throws his arms around your waist while you hug his neck, “take care, little star.”
“You too, Stevie, I’ll miss you.” You kiss his cheek and blink back the tears, you don’t want to cry right now, one of your last memories with Steve won’t be a sad one.
“I’ll miss you too.” And with that, Steve enters the car, before he could do something stupid like kissing you. Once in the car, though, he sees how sad you looked and he sighs, fuck it. He gets out of the car and hugs you again.
“I’ll miss you, Y/N, but I don’t want to leave with regrets.” Before you can ask him what he means he presses his lips on yours. It’s just a quick peck, an innocent kiss between thirteen years old, but you feel your heart explode. “I’ll become the best football player ever, I’ll make money and then we’ll go live together on a mountain, like you always wanted…Just, wait for me.”
You smile up at him and nod, “I’ll wait for you.”
Present day
Steve didn’t hold his promise. It was always his parents going to San Francisco for the holidays and never him coming back to Brooklyn. For three years you didn’t hear from each other, it may seem a short time for people that knew each other since birth but a lot can change in three years, even more than Steve ever thought was possible.
He gets out of the car, parking it in front of his childhood house: he was back in Brooklyn for his last year of high school.
“Y/N changed her house a lot.” He says towards his parents as he looks towards what used to be your childhood home, now a different color and without the front porch.
“Oh no, they don’t live there anymore.” His mom explains, “after Y/N’s mom died they moved into an apartment on the other side of the city.”
“What?” Steve feels like a cold water bucket has just been thrown over his head, “Y/N’s mom died?” She was young and healthy though.
“Yes, two years ago, she had a heart attack, Y/N asked us to not tell you.”
“Why?” His mom shrugs her shoulders, then puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder with a soft smile.
“It hasn’t been easy for her, but from what I know she goes to the same school you’ll go from tomorrow, try and talk to her.” She squeezes his shoulder, “You’re her best friend after all, aren’t you?”
Am I? Steve thinks, I wasn’t by her side when her mom died, I haven’t seen in three years…Are we really more than strangers?
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“Why are they all staring at me?” Steve asks Bucky, one of his childhood friends, as they walk in the hallways of Brooklyn’s high school.
“Because you’re the handsome new guy.” Bucky explains as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“But I’m not actually new, I’m sure I went to middle school with at least fifteen people in this hallway.”
“But you’re not the same Steve Rogers that left three years ago, you look like a fucking closet man.” Bucky chuckles, but it’s the truth, Steve had gotten taller and very muscular in only three years.
“I guess you’re right.” Steve can’t help the smirk forming on his lips, he reaches his locker, before he can open it though he notices a girl standing on the locker next to his. That girl is you, but he recognizes you only after you close your locker. You look the same as three years ago and another completely different person at the same time. Obviously you are older, and that shows on your features, and you are even more beautiful than the last time he saw you.
“Y/N!” He says with a bright smile on his face, your eyes widen when you recognize him but quickly you look down and walk away, completely ignoring him.
“Don’t mind her, she hasn’t been the same since her mom died.” Bucky explains, “she doesn’t speak to anyone, is always late to school and never has money for lunch, I buy it for her sometimes but I’m not even sure if she actually eats it.”
“What happened to her?” Steve whispers as he looks at you entering your next class, which, coincidentally, is the one he has next too. He walks in the class and smiles when he sees that the seat next to you is free.
“Y/N, it’s me, Steve.” He says as he sits next to you. You could ignore him, look away, hell, even change seat, but hearing his voice so close after three years made your heart swell and clench at the same time. What is he doing here? You couldn’t help but ask yourself that, shouldn’t he be doing his last year in San Francisco? Did he change his mind?
“Yeah, I know, I’ve heard the whispers, everyone’s talking about you.” You shrug your shoulders, acting like the only thing you want to do isn’t throw yourself in his arms and feel some comfort for the first time in years.
“It’s the first time we see each other in three years and that’s the first thing you say to me?”
“And who’s fault is that?”
“Listen, I’m sorry for never coming back in Brooklyn during the last years but I’m here now can’t we just-”
“Class’s starting." You interrupt him and point at the teacher who just walked in the classroom. Steve scoffs but turns his attention to the teacher.
After a while he hands you a piece of paper with ‘you know I don’t give up easily’ written on it.
Soon you feel like you have another shadow, a shadow that’s taller and bigger than you. Steve follows you everywhere he can and he’s always trying to make you open up, trying to bring your friendship back.
“Are you going to follow me home too?” You snap at Steve when the last bell rings.
“Do you want me to? I haven't seen your new house yet.” He says, putting his backpack on one shoulder.
“And you never will.” You answer harshly, showing him the small and dirty apartment where you lived would be too embarrassing.
Steve shrugs your answer off, “You’re lucky I have practice today.” He’s on the school football team and they couldn’t be happier.
“Why did you come back from San Francisco?” You can’t help but ask, why would someone ever leave that place?
“Had a fight with a boy who was harassing a girl, turns out it was the principal’s son.” Steve shakes his head, “immediate expulsion.”
Why did his answer hurt? Were you hoping he’d say something like ‘I missed you’? How stupid of you, he didn’t even call in three years. You nod and turn away, walking towards your house. The same house that was barely a home, more like a prison. It wasn’t the outside of the building the problem, and not even the small apartment itself, the problem was the man who lived with you. Your father, at least, who he should be. To you, ever since your mother’s death, it felt like living with a stranger.
“Dad, I’m home.” You shout as you open the door to the apartment on the second floor. Silence. Silence is the only thing that you can hear, and you couldn’t be happier: silence means that he isn’t at home, which also means he’s probably out drinking and will come back in the evening highly drunk. But that will be a problem for future you, for now you lay on your bed, doing your homework. You even take a small nap.
Your small time in paradise ends as you’re cooking dinner and the door opens. Your dad walks inside, crawling his feet on the ground, with an empty bottle of beer in his hand.
“Oh, you’re cooking, I see you’ve learned your lesson.” At his words your mind flies to the bruise on your stomach, but you quickly shake your head.
“Yeah, I’m cooking some soup.” You close your eyes, breaching yourself for the storm that is about to come.
“Soup? You know I hate soup!” He says as he starts getting angry, which definitely isn’t a good thing.
“I noticed that soup was the only thing we had when it was too late to go to the store.” You admit, already feeling the pain of the hit when he didn’t even hit you, yet.
“Useless as always!” He shouts and throws the empty glass bottle of beer at your legs. You damn yourself in your mind for deciding to wear shorts when you feel the glass against your bare legs, leaving cuts behind. You don’t dare to flinch or even make a little sound, though, knowing that it would only make him more mad.
“I’m sorry…” You whisper as you place two plates of soup on the table, “I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow.”
“You better, I’m not eating this shit.” Your father throws his plate with soup on the ground, breaking it in tiny little pieces. He’s worse than a toddler. You get up from your chair and start cleaning immediately, knowing that if you didn’t he would only get worse. You ignore the pain from the fresh cuts on your legs and pick the ceramic shatters from the ground, the soup on the ground wetting your slippers.
“I can’t cook anything else for you though…” You whisper, not even scared anymore, simply resigned and used to it.
You know that he could misunderstand every word you say.
You know he could hit you anytime.
You know you don’t have a choice but endure it till you’re done with high school.
You know you have to wait another nine months for that.
“You stupid bitch! Your mom would have never done this!” Your heart clenches at his words. How dare he talk about her, when he was the cause of her death?
“Don’t talk about her, you can’t.” You glare at him as you stand up, throwing the ceramic shatters you had just collected on the ground again.
“I can’t? And why can’t I?” He walks towards you, his big frame making you feel small and vulnerable, but not in a good way.
“You killed her!” You shout at him, tears starting to blur your vision, but you blink them back: you won’t cry in front of him. It’s basically telling him that you’re scared.
And you would never admit that.
“It wasn’t me who killed her, it was you! You killed your own mother!” You know that he’s trying to manipulate and gaslight you, but at the same time you have heard that sentence so much that you were starting to believe it.
Maybe if you were a better daughter she would still be alive.
Maybe if you were more independent she would still be with you.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
Maybe your mother is happier now. Wherever she is now she doesn’t have to look after an incompetent man who can’t even cook for himself, she doesn’t have to stay up until sunrise to make sure he doesn’t come to your room when drunk.
Maybe it’s for her best that she’s dead now.
“NO! You killed her because she was always so busy looking after you that she barely had time to look after herself, she never had the time to even do a check up!” You shout at him, tears rolling down your cheeks freely. “She died because you wouldn’t even pick up your own nose from the ground-” You let out a banshee-level scream as you feel the ceramic sink into your shoulder.
He stabbed you with a piece of ceramic from the plate.
Your father.
Your daddy, the same man who played princess tea party with you when you were four. The same man who checked under your bed for monsters every night for years.
You almost laugh when you realize you can’t remember any happy memories with your dad after your tenth birthday.
Two weeks later.
Luckily, the nurses believed you when you told them that you were taking a plate from a high shelf and it fell and broke on your shoulder. Steve, on the other hand…
“Tell me what happened.” Steve says as he sits next to you inside the Colorful House in the park.
“You follow me outside of school too, now?” You say annoyed.
“This was your favorite place to hide when we were kids, I see it didn’t change.” There’s a sad smile on his face, then he turns to you, “I don’t believe that a plate fell on you, tell me the truth.”
“It is the truth.” You roll your eyes, he sighs and his eyes fall on your wrist.
“You aren’t wearing your bracelet anymore.” He notices for the first time, you hide your wrist with your other hand.
“It broke.” My dad broke it. “You aren’t wearing it either.”
“I was worried it would break so I transformed it into a necklace.” He pulls down the collar of his shirt, revealing the letters that you used to make his bracelet, ‘Stevie’.
“Oh.” It’s the only thing you can say as you try to ignore the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. Neither of you has spoken about what happened before he left, but it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room.
Or literally anything but your dad.
“You kissed me before leaving and then you never came back, you never even called!” You say.
“What? I called almost every day!” You look at him confused at his words, “I knew you didn’t have a phone so I called the only number I remembered: your father’s.”
“That explains a lot of things…” You look down at your feet, Steve had called your father and he never told you anything? Why?
“He told me you didn’t want to talk to me or that you weren’t home, after a while I think he blocked my number, I didn’t have any other way to contact you and I simply thought you…didn’t want to hear from me…”
You look at him with a sad look, “He never told me about your calls.”
“What? Why?”
“Who knows what goes on in his sick mind.” Without even realizing your hand goes to the injury on your shoulder, and that’s when Steve understands.
“It was him, he gave you that scar.”
You nod, your eyes filling with tear, “Stabbed me with a piece of ceramic from a broken plate”
“Y/N that’s sick! Why didn’t you feel the truth at the hospital? Or to a teacher or…or…or to me…” His voice gets quieter towards the end of the sentence.
You shrug your shoulders, “I only have to endure it another few months, then I’ll leave and never come back.”
“How long has this been going on?” Steve gently wraps an arm around your shoulders, careful on the scar, and pulls you towards his chest. You bury your face in his broad chest and finally let go, crying against him. When was the last time you felt free to cry? At your mother’s funeral probably.
“Since my mother’s death.” You look up at him, placing your chin on his chest, comforted by his hold and the look of his eyes you decide to tell him the whole truth. “She died of a heart attack, that’s true, but you know what caused the heart attack?” You take a deep breath, “Exhaustion, overworking, call it however you like but truth is she was like my father’s slave — your heart falls in pronouncing those words — he made her work so much that in the end her heart couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Oh, Y/N…” Steve places a hand on the back of your head and cradles your head against his chest, kissing your forehead.
“And now he’s doing the same to me, I have to do everything in the house and if I don’t…” You can’t even finish the sentence as your body shakes with sobs.
“I’ll get you out of there, I promise.” Steve continues repeating soothing words to your ear and kissing your hair, you slowly calm down and look up at him, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off your chest.
“Thank you.” You say softly.
“No need to thank me, I would do anything for you.”
“So…” A grin forms on your face as you push any thought regarding your father away, “What about that kiss?”
Steve laughs, “Well, my offer to go live on a mountain is still up if you want.”
“Like, best friends living together?”
“What if I want us to be more than best friends?” His eyes fall on your lips.
“Then I’d tell you that I want the same.” You press your lips on his, it’s a gentle and soft kiss. Just like Steve.
“I love you, damn I’ve loved you since we were kids.” You smile at his words.
“I love you too.”
Months later
There are only a few days left until graduation, until you can finally leave the hell that was supposed to be your home.
“Hello Mrs. Rogers.” You greet Steve’s mom as she opens the door. Since you and Steve started dating your presence has become almost constant at house Rogers, just like when you were a kid.
“Oh Y/N, Steve’s in his room.” She greets you with a hug. “I’m so happy that you are his girlfriend, I always knew you two would end up together.” You smile and before she can start planning your wedding you run to Steve’s room where he’s sitting on the bed.
“I know that look, you need to tell me something.” You give him a peck on the lips as a greeting.
“Yes and it’s big happy news.”
“Tell me everything big boy.” You know he hates that nickname, and that’s exactly why you keep calling him that.
“I got a call from the coach of an important Football team, I’ll spare you the details because I know you understand nothing of Football, but…” he takes your hands in his, “They want me in the team! I’m going pro on one of the best teams in the U.S.!” It’s true, you understand nothing of football but the excitement in his face and tone is hard to resist.
“This is fantastic! I’m so happy for you!” You throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly.
“I want you to come with me.” He says as he cups your face in his hands. “Come live with me, there’s a great college near where I’ll have to stay, you can study there! It isn’t a mountain but it’ll keep you away from your dad.”
Only now you notice that you’re both crying, and for the first time in years yours are happy tears.
“I would love that.”
“Really?!” He kisses you again and again, laying you down on the bed between your laughs.
“I can’t wait to see you at my games, you’ll come see them right?”
“I won’t miss a single one.” You smile as he kisses your jaw. “I’ll be your lucky charm.” You chuckle.
“You’re better than my lucky charm, you’re my little star, the light of my life.”
You kiss him with a smile. He keeps calling you his star, but little does he know that he’s the sun of your life.
Your savior, the man who will take you away from you father.
The man you love.
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Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, but don’t feel forced to!
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toxicmalysh · 25 days ago
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The link we share
Chapter 27: Nightmares
Word count: 2,789
Summary: You suffer from a nightmare
Warnings: mentions of death, night terrors heavy angst sorry guys don't hate me
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You and Wanda were peacefully sleeping through the night, both enjoying the feeling of your body's close together with the peaceful atmosphere.
Unfortunately, early in the morning, your warm thought process became cold suddenly, an uncomfortable nightmare weaving its way into your mind.
It was so lucid, scenes and images of Jenny and her last few moments, it all felt too real and even in your sleep you could feel your chest tighten.
You woke up panting quickly and sweating, throwing yourself to sit up straight. Your breathing was erratic and your eyes were blown wide.
Wanda woke from the sudden movement beside her, the sound of your rapid breathing bringing her to consciousness. She sat up slowly rubbing her eyes and then your back.
“Dorogaya, what's wrong? Are you okay?”
You looked slightly towards the direction of Wanda's voice, not fully turning to look at her. Your brain was moving to fast, constant images of your ex-girlfriend, your whole chest heaved with your breath.
Wanda noticed how your body was trembling, realising the extent of the nightmare you must've had.
“Malysh, look at me please.”
She murmured softly, reaching out to gently touch your knee, trying to pull your attention to her and ground you back in reality.
You flinched as Wanda placed a hand on your knee, your hands found your ears covering them tightly. You couldn't breathe, couldn't even think.
Your chest heaved heavier, your body sweating, shaking, breathing faster and faster, your eyes growing wider and wider.
Seeing you flinch away from her touch and cover your ears, Wanda knew it was a sign of complete distress. She quickly moved closer to you, desperate to help you ground yourself.
“Y/n, listen to me, you need to breathe. Can you hear me? Focus on my voice.”
Her tone was more urgent now, trying to break through the nightmare that had its grasp on you.
You got up, panting, on the verge of passing out, making your way out of the bedroom, stopping every so often to try and breathe. You were trying to grab at the collar of your shirt, needing room to breathe, as you stumbled your way to the entrance of the compound.
Wanda quickly followed behind you, her feet moving swiftly to keep up with your frenzied pace. She called out your name, her voice full of concern and worry.
“Y/n, where are you going?”
She didn't care if she woke up the rest of the compound, if anyone saw her coming out of your room half naked, your wellbeing was more important.
Your head felt fogged, you could barely see your feet walking in front of you, couldn't hear Wanda's voice calling about behind you. Your hand rested against the lobby wall, and you bent over grabbing your chest tight trying to breathe, to think.
Wanda quickly stepped up beside you, her hand gently resting on your back as you leaned against the wall, struggling to catch your breath.
You flinched at Wanda's hand on your back, and before she had time to speak you stood up leaning against the wall again. Your eyes shut tight as a sharp pain entered your chest.
Once the pain receded to a manageable level you began making your outside the compound. The rain immediately came down on you. You smiled, the rain, you could feel the rain. You were barefoot, the mud below you filling the spaces between your toes. Wanda hung back, wanting to give you space, and it took a minute but as you walked towards a particular tree, soaking your t-shirt, you felt yourself calm down. You allowed yourself to slide down sitting against the wet bark.
You began hysterically laughing, this whole situation was ridiculous, not even five minutes ago you were sound asleep in Wanda's arms, and now you were covered in mud, crying outside. Crying? Wait, you were crying? Tears streamed down your cheeks as you held the front of your cheeks. You screamed into your hands, the sound echoing through the woods.
Wanda watched you stand up, watching as you yelled into the sky. The sound of your voice echoed through the air, a mixture of pain, anger, and sadness. Her heart ached for you, longing to comfort you and take away your pain, but she stayed where she was, knowing you needed this moment to let it out.
You continued yelling into the sky, no words, or sentences, just simply sounds of exhaustion. You were angry at how the universe was treating you. The rain spilled over your face as your yelling turned into loud sobbing, falling to your knees, your hands resting in your lap.
You bent over on your knees, raising your right fist and bringing it down into the soft muddy grass from the rain.
A wave of stress left your body, and you felt lighter instantly.
You raised your left fist bringing it down. You began repeating this, switching your right and left fist.
After a few minutes your fists began to bleed slightly, and you were grunting harder at each punch to the ground. Your thrust sped up and you eventually brought both of your fists down in unison, screaming out in anger.
You finally stopped, the mud mixed with your blood, and you pulled your hands into your stomach as you leaned forward yelling again.
You let the last of your anger out before turning to your sadness, simply laying forward on your knees, crying softly.
Finally, unable to watch you suffer any longer, Wanda couldn't restrain herself. She slowly approached you, her footsteps careful and soft, not wanting to startle you. Her heart ached at the sight of you, hugging yourself, trying to bring some comfort to your weary body.
Wanda knelt down beside you, her hand hovering over your shoulder, unsure if you'd welcome her touch or not.
You continued sobbing, trying to wipe the rain from your face only to spread mud and blood across your skin.
The older woman winced as she saw the mud and blood from your hands smeared across your face, the rain continuing to fall and mix with the mess on your skin. The sight only made her worry for you even worse.
She gently placed her hand on your shoulder, her touch light, ready to pull back if you flinched or pulled away. She spoke softly.
“Dorogaya, it's okay. I'm here. Can you look at me, please?”
You were too embarrassed to look at her, instead, you threw your hands around her waist, burying your head into her stomach crying into her softly.
Wanda was taken back by surprise as you suddenly threw yourself into her, knocking her onto her backside. She was about to protest or ask if you were okay, but when she felt your face burying itself into her stomach, your arms wrapping around her tightly, holding on to her for dear life. Her heart broke at the sound of your tears, still falling gently from your eyes.
She was caught off guard but quickly recovered, her arms instinctively wrapping around your trembling body, holding you close.
The rain continued to fall around you, soaking you both, but she didn't care. All that mattered to her was holding you in her arms and offering you the comfort you needed.
She gently stroked your back, her hand moving in slow, soothing circles, trying to soothe and reassure you with her touch.
“I'm here, my love. I'm here. I've got you.”
Your crying wasn't stopping anytime soon. You were so frustrated and upset with yourself, weeks of progress, weeks of positive changes, down the drain.
“I was doing so well.”
You sniffed through your tears, burrowing your head further into Wanda's lap.
Wanda listened to your words, her chest tightening with each syllable as she understood the depth of your frustration and pain. Your head burrowed deeper into her lap, seeking comfort and solace in her presence.
She continued stroking your back, her touch gentle and reassuring, trying to provide some small measure of comfort in the midst of your tears and distress.
“I know, malysh. I know.”
She whispered softly, her voice filled with empathy and understanding,
“But you've been so strong, my love. You can't expect to be perfect.”
You gripped into Wanda tighter, pausing for a minute to catch your breath. Your voice was filtered through tears and snot.
“I just wish my brain worked properly.”
Wanda's heart ached as you spoke, your words a reflection of the deep-seated pain and frustration you were feeling. She understood too well the struggle of dealing with a mind that often felt like it was working against you.
She continued gently stroking your back, her touch steady and comforting, her voice filled with empathy and understanding.
“Oh, my love, I know. I know it can feel disheartening, and it's not fair. But you are strong, and you have come so far.”
You cried softly, soaking in Wanda's words, you truly appreciated how patient she was.
You snapped back into reality suddenly, realising how vulnerable you were being with Wanda, you crawled off of her quicky, falling onto your backside the same way Wanda had, wiping your tears quickly, backing up slowly still leaning back on your hands, turning your head away from her as you stood up, the rain still pouring.
Wanda's chest tightened again as she saw the way you tried to hide your vulnerability by wiping your tears, turning away from her. It was clear that you were uncomfortable with the level of vulnerability you had just shown, and you were trying to regain some semblance of control.
The taller woman stood up slowly, still watching you, uncertain of how to proceed. The rain continued to pour around you both, the cold and wetness adding to the tense atmosphere. She knew you needed space, but she couldn't shake the urge to close the physical distance between you, to offer some comfort.
She took a small step forward, disappointed slightly when you shut your eyes tightly, but her voice was soft and gentle.
“Malysh, it's okay. You don't have to hide from me. I'm not going anywhere.”
Wanda took another step forward, her movement slow and careful, not wanting to startle you. She could see the tension in your closed eyes, the way your body was bracing itself.
She reached out her hand slowly, wanting to touch you but not knowing if you'd allow it.
“Please, my love, look at me.”
You shook your head, you were doing it again, you were shutting down. You didn't know how to handle this new position you'd found yourself in. You knew you were allowed to be vulnerable with Wanda so what was holding you back?
“Why are you pushing me away dorogaya?”
Wanda's voice was soft and filled with concern.
You turned suddenly to face her, your eyes filled with a silent plea, Wanda's eyes filled with care and desperation.
“I don't know, okay!.. I don't know what's wrong with me.”
Your reply came out loud before taking a breath and lowering.
Wanda saw the way you brought your hands to your chest, holding yourself as if trying to hold back the emotions that were threatening to overflow.
“Darling nothing is wrong with you.”
She spoke quietly, her eyes locked on yours, her tone filled with gentle reassurance.
You stepped back from her outreached hand, holding yourself tighter as you cried,
“Everything is wrong with me.”
Wanda's face filled with tears, seeing you like this was crushing her, she knew there was nothing she could do to help and that was worse than standing and watching.
“Darling, no. That's not true. Nothing is wrong with you. You're just... you're just struggling right now.”
Wanda watched as your face relaxed, it was eerie how you simply stood up wiping your face, and your tone was so calm.
“I'm sorry… I'll stop..”
She was confused, she was allowing you to cry and speak with her. Why were you shutting down like this?
“I love you.. I think I just need some sleep.”
Wanda's eyebrows scrunched in visible confusion as she watched you. You stepped forward, kissing her cheek gently, your tears fixed with mud and blood, dampened that part of her face.
She was going to embrace you but you pulled away, walking back towards the entrance of the compound.
She stood in utter confusion, unsure whether to follow you or give you space.
Wanda had spent a restless night, her sleep plagued by worry for you and a nagging sense of concern. She felt the guilt eating away at her, knowing that she hadn't been able to provide the comfort and support you needed last night. But she knew better than to push you in this state, knowing that you needed time to sort through your emotions and process your thoughts.
As morning dawned, she found herself pacing around the common room, the silence of the compound weighing heavily on her. She was desperately worried for you, her mind racing with thoughts and fears.
After what felt like hours Wanda could hear the sound of cutlery clanking. Her face lit up as she made her way to the kitchen, sighing in relief as her eyes fell on you. You were sitting at the kitchen island, eating through a bowl of cereal.
“Malysh?”
Your head twitched to the side immediately, hearing Wanda's soft voice. Your throat cracked as you responded, your vocal chords clearly damaged after yesterday's screaming.
“Yeah.”
Wanda heard your response, and her heart ached at the sound of you, your voice still laced with a hint of pain and vulnerability. She took another step forward, her voice still soft and tentative.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?”
You patted your hand to your left, offering Wanda a seat.
“Yeah.”
You watched as her face lit up before turning back to your bowl. You took a breath, already feeling a lump form in your throat.
“I'm sorry Wanda.. I know I keep apologising but I am sorry.”
You felt guilty, you knew you needed to be open with Wanda, but the fear of her getting scared and leaving was eating at you.
“Malysh, you have nothing to apologise for. I just… I want to understand what's going on with you. I want to help, but you have to let me in.”
You felt your chest tighten, you took Wanda's hands firmly, and held them to your heart softly, speaking with genuine meaning.
“And I want to let you in.”
Wanda felt her heart flutter as you held her hands to your chest. It was a simple gesture, but it was filled with so much vulnerability, so much trust. She squeezed your hands gently, her eyes locked onto yours.
“Then talk to me, my love. Tell me what's troubling you.”
Wanda could easily look through your mind and read it for herself, but you two had established many times that was not allowed and it was a boundary she shouldn't cross. It hurt knowing she could help but she wasn't allowed to, though she understood verbal communication was more important.
You held her hands tighter, your breath shaky,
“I just… I keep seeing her.”
Wanda nodded in understanding, holding onto your shirt slightly as you continued holding her hands.
“In your nightmares?”
Her tone was soft and understanding, she knew the trauma associated with that name.
You nodded slowly, your eyes filling with tears.
Wanda's heart ached as you confirmed that you were plagued by nightmares, the terror and anguish etched across your face. She leaned over embracing you in her arms, her voice gentle and reassuring.
“It's okay, my love. You're safe here. You're safe with me.”
You began to cry, you weren't sure if you were crying from the negativity you were experiencing, or the overwhelming amount of care Wanda was providing you.
“Shhh… It's okay. Let it out. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here.”
You felt safe, so safe as she held you tighter, you felt grateful to have such a patient person holding you so securely. After a few moments, she broke the silence, her voice soft yet firm.
“I know opening up isn't easy, love. But I want you to remember that you don't have to carry all this pain and guilt alone. I'm here to help you, to shoulder the weight of your burden with you. Can you try to talk to me, darling? Just a little?”
You nodded, taking a deep breath as you prepared to be honest. The only thought running through your head was what did you ever do to deserve such care and appreciation.
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constellationguy · 3 months ago
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I need more cruel Alastor fics. I need more hurt/no comfort Alastor fics. I was thinking about it while I was reading the latest chapter of @valerie-is-in-the-cupboard ‘s Taking Care and realized that I should write some hurt/comfort and hurt/no comfort Alastor fics (go read Taking Care if you haven’t already).
I already have an angsty lyric fic in my head based on “Say That We’re Sweetharts Again” by Dorothy Shay and I have been thinking about Old Friend’s from the poll not too long ago. Get ready to cry my friends! And if anyone has angsty Alastor fics please send them to me! ❤️
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lamemaster · 1 year ago
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Dismembered Memory- Chapter 2
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Pairing: Iluvatar x Reader
Genre: Mystery , romance and mythology
Summary: Do the Gods love? What is it like to love one? What is it like to be loved by one? Is it a love beyond the shackles of creation and destruction or is it a tragedy bound in the chains of duty and predestination.
AN: A shorter chapter as we dwell into the arc. This is very much a me project so chapter word count will be rather inconsistent.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2| Chapter 3|
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The world is woven with the threads of yearning—yearning for creation, yearning for love, yearning for companionship, yearning for beauty or legacy. Reasons as diverse as the stars. It is this relentless desire for anything and everything that catalyzes the very origin of existence.
However, creation necessitates substance—a canvas on which to paint its journey.
Iluvatar's recollection doesn't encompass you. He doesn't possess the fragments of your memories, yet you remain an inseparable fragment of his essence. Analogous to matter, which underpins creation, you are an existence that entwines his thoughts, an ethereal presence encircling his eternal song. Connected to him yet apart, a paradox of unity and division.
He glimpses fragments of you through the eyes of his Ainur, those beings birthed from his own mind. A silent observer, he never truly encounters you, and you, in your existence, never seek him. The weight of your absence gnaws at him ceaselessly, a persistent ache embedded within every living moment.
Time turns into an eternity as Iluvatar mourns the gulf that separates you from him. He replays the fleeting glimpses of your presence, those wisps caught through the eyes of Manwe and Melkor. Perhaps fated, your connection with him remains unknown. However, such a state is destined to change. It evolves, it shifts, and it transforms.
A pivotal moment arrives when the distant creator of the cosmos is irresistibly drawn into his own creation. Iluvatar crosses the threshold into Arda, compelled by an irresistible force—you. He treads upon the earth he formed, a wanderer amidst the very world he sculpted. The trappings of his divinity take a backseat as he pursues an entity he can barely remember. The symphony of creation fades, and the unattainable brilliance of his godhood diminishes. All is surrendered for the sake of finding you.
He journeys endlessly, traversing the landscapes of Arda in search of any traces of you. The loss of his divine status and the adversities of the world pale in significance as the very land of Arda draws him closer to you. You must be here, in some form or another. The architect of the world becomes a wanderer within it, adopting a form akin to that of his own children, in the hope of finding you among them.
No callouses on his feet, no storms, no heatwaves can impede his quest. He presses forward relentlessly, compelled by an unquenchable yearning. He must find you, and nothing can deter him.
For Iluvatar, the loss of his godhood and the trials of Arda itself become inconsequential when the very land he shaped brings him ever closer to you. You, a presence he can barely recollect, but a presence that he cannot relinquish. He walks the world, shedding his divine mantle, forsaking the celestial music that once defined him. All for the sake of you, the missing piece of his existence.
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“I will be gone for a while this time.”
Melkor gazes intently at your misty form, his expression a mixture of concern and longing. "Gone where? How long?" The questions escape him, his heart racing in the expanse of the barren void. His mind echoes with an unspoken plea—don't go. Unbearable panic threatens to consume him, the idea of being left alone in this desolate Void unfathomable. Would you, too, leave him like so many before? The thought looms, the talons of the cruel void threatening to seize his very consciousness. Without you, he fears he would be lost.
A soothing sensation envelops him as you crouch before him, your presence a gentle reassurance. Your palms cradle his face with an almost ephemeral touch, and he finds solace in your touch. "I'll be gone for some years, but I'll be back. I promise you." The words carry a weight of sincerity that Melkor can't deny. He knows how well you stay true to your promises.
"Why must you leave?" He voices the question that fills the silence, a sense of shame creeping in as he realizes he wants to stop you, to prevent your departure from his life. The idea of being without you claws at him, a fear he can scarcely admit.
"The song of the world has called me, and I must respond." He observes the faint outlines of your features, your nimble fingers and the glimmer in your eyes that pierce through the mist. "There is someone who looks for me in Arda, and I…" Your words falter, as if grappling for expression. "I must answer their call."
Curiosity intertwines with jealousy within Melkor's heart. Who could be so important that you would leave him behind? "Who is it?" The question slips out before he can fully process it, ages of resentment and bitterness simmering beneath the surface. Who could possibly mean more to you than he does?
“I do not know who it is, but I must meet them. To alter the course they tread," you remain seated, unwavering in your resolve. "I have managed to push the encroaching Void farther this time. It shall maintain its grasp while I am absent, but should challenges arise," your hands take on solidity, cradling a clear glass ball—a marble, a vessel of contained power. "Use this to harness its malevolence. It shall provide aid in times of dire need."
As Melkor's fingers connect with the cool surface of the glass marble, he cannot help but be awed by your form, by the intricate complexity that you embody. "Someone very dear to me once possessed this," you caution, your words laden with warning as you place the artifact in his grasp.
The marble rests in his hands, a tangible token of your existence. Melkor holds it close, a mixture of emotions swirling within him. He closes his eyes, feeling the weight of your presence, even as it begins to wane. "I will await your return," he murmurs, his words carrying a sense of longing.
This time, as your form fades, he can discern the faintest traces of your features—your eyes, your lips, your nose. The cold touch against his forehead lingers as his mind succumbs to a tranquil slumber.
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General Cerdic had weathered countless battles for his king, leading campaigns on bloody battlefields and through uncharted territories. His prestige and the respect of his kingdom's people were well-earned and well-deserved.
However, the man of valor did not inhabit sprawling cities or grand palaces like the king's favored. Instead, Cerdic found his abode in an isolated village, a place where his gallant feats were mostly unknown. He rarely ventured beyond the village's bounds. It was here that he had last held his wife, welcoming their only child into the world.
A modest wooden house provided the backdrop for the years he spent raising his daughter. None could have been more inviting than this homely dwelling. Shielded from the clamor of the world, Cerdic raised you in this tranquil village.
The machinations of palaces and the cunning games of power never encroached upon the life of the general's cherished daughter. Both of you found contentment in the simplicity of life. Days were filled with the routine of tending to a humble farm, and nights were spent dining under the serenity of the stars.
But everything changed when he entered your life—a man dressed in tattered clothes, bearing the weight of his hardships in every step he took. You discovered him by the riverside, his body marked by the brutalities of slavery. His matted hair carried the grime of an existence you couldn't fathom.
"What is your name?" you inquired, met with incoherent murmurs. As you knelt to examine the stranger, your attention was drawn to his clenched fist.
Within his grasp lay a delicate cotton flower, untouched by the filth that marred the rest of his form.
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llycaons · 2 years ago
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I just finished one of the best fics I've ever read. MAN am I excited to show it to you all
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reysdriver · 2 years ago
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Keeping Secrets | P.P.
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Your boyfriend Peter shows up at your window in the middle of the night and asks for your help — peter x gn!reader angst with happy ending
warnings: blood, injury, angst
words: 1.2k
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It was almost 1 o'clock in the morning, and you were still working on a report for school. You were sitting on your bed with your laptop on your legs, and you were starting to get tired. You were just about to put away all of your work and go to sleep, but then you felt your phone vibrating against your leg.
You picked it up, and saw that it was your boyfriend, Peter Parker, trying to call you.
You were confused as to why he was trying to call you this late, and then a scary thought poked itself into your exhausted mind that it was an emergency, so you answered the call.
"Hey, Peter, what's up? Are you alright?"
His voice sounded pained as he answered. "Yeah, I'm good."
"So why are you calling me at one in the morning?"
"Umm," he hesitated. "I need to drop by your place for something really quickly."
"Babe, it's really late and I was just about to go to sleep. I don't-"
"I'm out on the fire escape right now. I just need your first aid kit and maybe a place to crash for the night." 
"What?" You mumble, standing up and going to look out your window. 
Sure enough, your boyfriend was on the fire escape of your apartment, right outside your window. You quickly raised the bottom pane of your window, letting him come into your bedroom. As he passes you and sits on your floor, leaning against your bed, your eyes scan the injuries, blood, and bruises all over his body and face.
"Oh my god, Peter, what happened to you?" You asked him, sounding slightly out of breath due to your surprise and the fact that you haven't spoken in hours. 
"I'm fine, don't worry about me." He said, obviously avoiding your question.
"Don't worry about you?!" You almost shouted, but caught yourself and started whisper-yelling so your family wouldn't wake up.
"Yeah, like I said, (y/n/n), I just need your first aid kit and a place to sleep."
"No, you need to tell me what's going on right now." You demanded in a still hushed, but firm tone.
"I just need to clean myself up so nothing gets infected. I would go home but Aunt May can't know about this, and her night shift just ended, so she should be back home at any minute."
He stood up from your bed and headed towards your bedroom door. You quickly rushed in front of him and told him to stay.
"No, I'll get it. Just stay here for a second." You told him, heading out to your bathroom to find any first aid supplies you could find.
After a minute, you came back to your bedroom with your arms full of bandages and other medical supplies. When you walked in, quietly closing the door behind you, you found your boyfriend lying down on the ground against the footboard of your bed.
"Hey, you're back." He said in a hushed tone. "I didn't want to get blood on your bed, so I just sat on the floor."
"Thanks." You mumbled, crouching down next to him. "Arms up."
Peter brought his arms up over his head and you pulled off his dirtied shirt, placing it beside you both.
"Holy-" You gasped lightly as you saw the amount of small wounds and bruises that were covered before. You had seen him injured before—he's a clumsy kid who likes to skate, so of course—but never like this.
A thousand different thoughts raced through your head on how this all happened, but you weren't going to ask if he wasn't going to tell you and answer.
Pushing away the thoughts you now deemed irrelevant, you went back to helping him. You poured some rubbing alcohol onto a washcloth and started dabbing it onto his cuts.
As you cleaned his wounds, he thanked you multiple times, and you ignored him every single time.
As you rubbed over a particular cut of his, he winced, then quickly explained that it was just because a lot of alcohol soaked into his skin at once.
"Oh, now you'll explain why you're in pain?" You muttered under your breath in annoyance.
"What?" He asked, looking up into your eyes.
"Nothing." You brushed him off, without stopping the cleaning of the injuries on his chest. "I just don't get why you won't tell me what happened to you."
"I told you not to worry about me." He said, gently placing a finger on your jaw.
You brushed his finger away from you, and argued back, careful not to speak too loudly.
"But I am going to worry about you because you're my boyfriend! And my boyfriend shows up outside my window in the middle of the night, covered in blood and he tells me it's nothing? Of course I'm going to be upset over that!"
"Just trust me when I say there's a reason I can't tell you what's going on, okay?" Peter said.
"No, I'm not going to do that." You said, your eyes filling up with tears. "I'm going to help clean you up so you don't die, I'll give you a place to sleep, but I'm sleeping on the chair and I want you gone by tomorrow morning."
Wanting to dry your tears and hide your vulnerable face from the boy sitting in front of you, you stood up, trying to escape the situation. You felt Peter's familiar hand grab your wrist, stopping you from leaving him.
"(y/n), please just stay." He said with a sigh.
"No, Peter, unless it's you explaining everything, I don't want to talk right now."
"(y/n), I'm Spider-Man." He confessed.
You turned around and he let go of your hand. "What?" You asked him.
"Hand me my backpack." He said, pointing to the constantly-ripped bag that he dropped by your window. You picked it up and handed it to him.
He unzipped the second zipper on his bag and pulled out the red and blue suit that you, and about half of New York, had seen online and in some police reports on the news.
"I'm Spider-Man. I go around stopping criminals and helping good people, and I just got in a fight trying to take down some guys who were trying to rob a jewelry store a few blocks away."
"So you're not in the mob or some secret fight club?" You asked, drying your tears with the end of your sleeves.
"No, of course not." He said as you crouched down next to him again.
"Good." You said, kissing his forehead. "But don't ever lie to me again or I promise I'm going to leave you out on the fire escape next time you call me."
"Deal." Peter said, a new smile gracing your face.
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writersmess · 3 months ago
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DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY
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Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader
Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.
Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.
Word count: 2.5K
a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.
Masterlist
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You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.
The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.
That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?
You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.
To Bobby you were a cause of concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.
The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.
"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.
"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.
You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?
The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.
It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.
You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.
Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.
And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.
Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.
Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.
Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.
Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.
*
It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?
"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.
You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.
You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.
"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.
His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?
He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.
"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.
"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"
*
The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.
Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.
Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.
You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.
But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.
But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.
"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.
Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.
"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"
"I know"
"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."
"I know."
Buck couldn't lose you.
You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.
A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.
"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"
You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.
"Buck, I-"
Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.
I love you.
The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.
"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."
It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.
"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.
It was a call for help.
You could have sworn it was a call for help.
"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"
"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"
Your vision was blurred.
I love you.
You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.
It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.
I love you.
“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.
Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.
I love you.
His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.
I love you too, Buck.
The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.
This couldn't be happening. No, no.
Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.
Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.
Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.
Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.
Buck couldn't lose you like this.
"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.
Buck's heart could stop any second now.
But the building was collapsing.
He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.
Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.
You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.
*
You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.
Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.
"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"
"I almost lost you today"
Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.
"I'm sorry"
Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.
"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."
"I would never leave you"
"Promise?"
"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"
"Please don't let it be soon"
You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.
"It won't."
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mythicalmaven · 5 months ago
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Beyond Boundaries • Oscar Piastri (PART FOUR)
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There it is! Chapter 4! This is a very very angsty chapter, IM SORRY IN ADVANCE, but it had to happen for the plot to develop :'( Butttt, to make it a little better, it starts with smut hahah! And don't worry! I promise you that Oscar and the reader will be just fine & the next chapter will be having plenty of happy moments for them <3 Please let me know in the comments what you think of this chapter, because i'm honestly so insecure about this one!
↳pairing: oscar piastri x female!reader (norris!reader) ↳word count: 3.5K ↳ parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, ↳chapter warnings: ANSGT!, smut, 18+ content (mdni!), oral (female!receiving), talking about feelings, emotional rollercoaster, brothers teammate trope, bestfriend!reader
↳series summary: Since Oscar joined McLaren as your brother’s teammate, you two have quickly become best friends. Recently promoted to be Oscar’s physiotherapist, you both relish the opportunity to spend more time together. However, as the new role brings you closer, Oscar finds himself grappling with unexpected feelings and rising tension, leaving him conflicted about how to handle his emotions
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Once the calm had returned, reality began to set in. You grasped what had just transpired and what you had done. Did you regret it? No. Was it wise? Also no.
"I... um," you stammered, "I think I should go, they're probably waiting for us," you mumbled, eyes fixed on the floor. You tried to turn and leave your own room in haste until you felt Oscar's hand wrap around yours.
You turned back and met Oscar's gaze. He was now sitting up on the massage table. "Please, don't go," he whispered, his voice pleading. "Let me make you feel good too," he added, his thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of your hand.
Taking a deep breath, you squeezed his hand and nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You gave in the moment you saw the look in his eyes, the growing arousal between your legs making it even harder to think clearly.
Oscar offered a small smile and jumped off the massage table. He took your hand and pulled you close, guiding you until the back of your calves met the edge of the bed. One hand moved to your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. "If you want me to stop, just tell me, okay?"
You nodded in response, unable to find your voice, captivated by the effect he had on you. The moment he saw your nod, he gently pushed you onto the bed. Climbing on top of you, he paused at the button of your jeans, looking up for approval before finally undoing the first button.
Oscar skillfully removed your jeans, revealing your red lace panties. "Fuck, baby, you're so pretty," he whispered, his voice huskier than usual.
Baby, that was new, a nickname he hadn't used before, making the moment feel even more intimate.
You bit your lip as Oscar leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on the inside of your thigh. He took his time to admire you, his fingers finding their way to your ass, squeezing lightly.
"Please, Osc," you begged, your hands tangling in his hair.
"Words, baby," he smirked. "Tell me what you want."
You released a soft moan as Oscar scattered small kisses on your thighs. "Anything. Touch me, Osc," you pleaded, tightening your grip on his hair, eliciting a soft groan from him. "I need you," you murmured, ending in a low moan as Oscar's finger traced up your clothed slit, sliding up and down, smirking as your body tensed.
"Can I take these off?" he asked innocently. Your breath hitched, your heart pounding.
"Yes," you said, and his fingers hooked around your underwear, swiftly pulling them down.
After removing your underwear, Oscar took his time to look at you before pressing a soft kiss against your inner thigh. His hands wandered up your legs, almost reaching the place you needed him most. "One last chance to back out. Are you sure you're okay with this?" he asked gently.
"Please, just touch me," you murmured, frustrated by the building tension.
Obliging, he kissed his way up your legs, his hands squeezing your thighs firmly. Oscar placed a soft kiss on your cunt before parting your folds with his tongue. "Oh, you're so wet for me already, baby."
"Fuck," you moaned, your hips bucking upwards as his tongue found your clit. As Oscar moved his tongue in circles, you couldn't help but grab his hair, your fingers pulling as he expertly flicked his tongue against your clit, your body trembling with need.
Oscar groaned before pulling away slightly. "Fuck, baby, you taste so good," his voice huskier than ever.
His fingers gripped your hips tightly, pinning you in place as he slipped a finger inside you, eliciting more moans. You felt yourself getting closer to the edge.
"Osc, you're so good at this," you chanted, moans falling from your lips more frequently. "I'm so close, Osc."
Oscar groaned at your words, even more motivated to make you come hard. He slipped another finger inside you, his fingers joining his mouth. A smile crept on his face when he heard the moans caused by his actions.
You cried out, waves of pleasure washing over you, your body trembling as the pressure released into a heavenly feeling of relaxation. You pulled on Oscar's hair harder as you came with a loud moan, "O-Oscar."
Oscar's features were laced with lust as he watched you come undone beneath him. Your mouth was open, and your cheeks were flushed. To him, it was the most beautiful sight.
You reached out your arms, inviting Oscar to lay down with you. He couldn't resist and immediately crawled upwards, laying back on the bed and pulling you into his arms.
It was then that you realized the banging on your door. "Y/n, I'm coming in now! I've banged on this door long enough," Daniel called from the hallway.
"We're screwed," Oscar huffed, realizing you were both far from decent.
"One second, I'll be there," you yelled back, hoping he would be patient. You were wearing nothing but your t-shirt, while Oscar was only in his cum-stained boxers. You stumbled off the bed, running to grab your bathrobe, throwing Oscar his joggers.
You opened the door a tiny bit, peeking your head through the gap. "What's up?"
Daniel smirked. "I think it's more fitting if I ask you. I've been banging on this door for ages. Was afraid something was wrong. You weren't picking up your phone either."
Daniel was about to ask you something when he heard someone sneeze in your bedroom. He kicked the door open a bit more with his foot, his smirk growing. "Why are you wearing a bathrobe, and why is Piastri shirtless?"
You knew you screwed up. If you had just put your pants back on, you could have played it off as Oscar getting a massage. But with you in a robe, it was a lame excuse, because Daniel was smart enough to know that you wouldn't be doing that in bathrobe.... In other words: you both got caught like a couple of teenagers.
"Don't you dare say another word, Ricciardo," you warned, pointing your finger at him.
Daniel threw his hands up, chuckling. "Well, I don't have to see anything. I think we all know what you two were up to" he laughed loudly. "Just wanted to give you a heads up about something" he chanted with a laugh
"Danny, Oscar and I didn't sleep together!" you whisper yelled
"Yeah right, and I'm not Australian," he cackled, leaning against the doorframe.
Meanwhile, Oscar had made his way over to you, now standing next to you. He handed you your trousers, just out of Daniel's sight behind the door. He cocked his head towards Daniel, "A heads-up about what?" he asked.
You scooted yourself behind the door, so you were out of sight. You got rid of your rope and pulled both your underwear and trousers up your legs, quickly fixing the button. Already knowing that there was no point in denying that anything happened anyway, so you might as well made yourself look a little decent.
"Ha!" Daniel chuckled, looking at his fellow Australian "Oscar is not denying it!"
Oscar rolled his eyes. "Dan, we honestly didn't do anything. She's my best friend; we hang out in each other's rooms all the time," he explained, trying to keep a calm voice, though the blush on his cheeks betrayed him.
You returned to the door opening, standing beside a still flustered Oscar. "Whatever, just tell me why you're here?" you asked, but as the words left your lips, you heard someone rushing over, tackling you in a hug. It was your brother, Lando.
"Just wanted to give you a heads-up that Lando is here, but there he is," Daniel laughed, seeing both you and Oscar turning beet red.
Lando had his arms around you. "Daniel said he'd get you from upstairs, but he took so long that I decided to take matters into my own hands," he chuckled.
As Lando pulled away from the hug, he looked at Oscar and squinted. "Care to explain why you're shirtless in my sister's bedroom and why you look like you've just, well, been busy?"
Oscar froze, completely at a loss for words. You, on the verge of a horrible excuse, felt a kick from Daniel, signaling he'd cover for you.
Daniel laughed at Lando. "It honestly looks like they were up to something, and I'm sure many people would ship them. But that's not it. Would be hilarious, though," he began, making you wonder what his excuse could be. "Oscar here has been whining all day about a sore back because I fell on him during Twister," he lied convincingly.
"Yeah, I just offered to give him a massage since I'm his physiotherapist and know what helps," you added, trying to keep a straight face.
"And that had to be in your bedroom?" Lando huffed, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "Shirtless?"
"She has her stuff here, so it was easiest. Too lazy to move it all," Oscar rolled his eyes. "And honestly, Lando, as my physiotherapist, it's pretty much inevitable that she sees me shirtless."
Daniel laughed again at their banter. "Lan, don't act like it's the first time he's shirtless with her. What do you expect with her job?" he teased. "Besides, you were the one encouraging her to take the job, so you don't have the right to whine like a protective older brother now"
Lando sighed in defeat, throwing his hands in the air. "Daniel, her job is to be his physiotherapist, not to, you know, do funny business with my teammate," he whined, air quoting the last part. "Everyone with a brain can see that look on his face. Besides, Oscar's joggers are inside out. We all know Oscar—that wouldn't happen if he wasn't in a rush."
Oscar squinted his eyes closed, feeling busted. He honestly didn't know what to say, afraid that anything would do more harm than good.
"Lan, come on," Daniel tried to reason, still trying to help with a cover. "It was nothing. Just let it go."
"No, Daniel. I think I can decide pretty well for myself when to let things go. Y/N is lying to me, and she knows it," Lando said, getting a little desperate now. "You're breaking our one rule, Y/N..."
"Jesus, Lando, you're acting like a child," you yelled, getting annoyed. "Oh, go fuck yourself, Lando."
Daniel grabbed Lando's arm, trying to calm him down, but without luck. "Hey! Don't yell at me when you're the one breaking our one rule!" Lando shouted back, anger rising in his voice. "Oh wait, you didn't even realize, did you? Too busy with my teammate's dick in your mouth, weren't you?"
"Lando! Come on," Oscar started, trying to defend both of you. "She didn't have my—" Oscar began but quickly got interrupted by your fuming state.
"So what if I did, Lando? Maybe I had Oscar's dick in my mouth. Who knows? Maybe I want him to fuck me. It's none of your business, Lando," you yelled back. "Would you rather have me fuck a random stranger in a bathroom stall in a club instead of your, oh-so-forbidden, teammate? Because I could make that happen if you prefer. We'll see how you react then."
Lando wanted to react until he felt Daniel's hand cover his mouth. "Lando, you're only making it worse," he softly spoke, trying to get Lando to calm down. "Come on, let's go."
Daniel pulled Lando with him, looking over his shoulder at Oscar and you one more time, sending you a small nod.
You let out a sigh as tears started welling up in your eyes. Turning around, you let yourself fall into Oscar's arms, resting your forehead against his shoulder. Oscar embraced you, placing a small kiss on the side of your head. "You didn't have to do that, you know. We could have just tried to convince him it was nothing," he murmured softly, resting his head in your hair.
"He wouldn't have believed it anyway; he knows me too well," you stated, tears rolling down your cheeks as you tightened your grip on Oscar's still shirtless body. "All this because we were being stupid, horny idiots. It shouldn't have happened."
Oscar sighed, feeling a pang in his heart. "I'm not gonna act like I regret it, because I don't," he mumbled just loud enough for you to hear.
You pulled away slightly, looking up at Oscar with a trembling lip. "I don't regret it either, Osc. It was amazing, but it shouldn't have happened. Just like yesterday," you sighed, gently grabbing his hand. "We can't happen, Osc."
"Why not?" Oscar asked, his voice trembling, tears threatening to form in his eyes. He was trying to keep his composure, to maintain his calm and contained persona, but his facade was slowly crumbling.
"Osc, please. Look at our jobs and our friendship. We shouldn't risk either," you said, tears streaming down your face, the remainder of your mascara smudging your cheeks. "Also, I can't do this to him, okay? I can't break my promise to him. I'm sorry," you said, referring to Lando, as you let go of Oscar's hand and walked away, storming towards the front door of the house.
You bumped into Lando, Logan and Daniel on your way to the exit. They were talking, probably about the situation. Your brother looked emotional, almost like he had been crying. Was he regretting what he said? You hoped he would.
You looked up at Lando, shaking your head. "Are you happy now? You've ruined everything, Lando," you cried, storming past him.
Logan took a deep breath "I think I have to go check up on Oscar, I don't think their conversation ended well" he said, referring to you and Oscar.
Daniel nodded at him, agreeing "They were in her room"
Logan send him a nod and made his way up towards your room, noticing the door ajar. He approached the door and looked inside, revealing a defeated Oscar Piastri sitting on your bed. His head in his hands. Logan knocked on the door, signaling to Oscar that he was there "Are you okay?" Logan asked, his voice barely a whisper.
Oscar shook his head, softly looking up at Logan, his eyes puffy and bloodshot, a clear indicator that Oscar was crying "Can I come in?" the American asked.
Oscar shrugged his shoulders, nodding carefully, tears rolling down his cheeks. Oscar let out a shuddering breath as he felt his friend sitting down next to him, his gaze directed towards the floor. Logan put his arm around his friend, trying to comfort him in the best way possible "Wanna talk about it?"
Oscar sighed in a defeated voice, trying to stop the tears from spilling, failing miserably as he explained what happened. Logan felt so bad for his best friend, seeing how much it hurt him.
"I think she'll come around," Logan remarked, rubbing his hand up and down Oscar's back in a reassuring manner.
"I don't think she will. She's right, you know. I don't want her losing her job over this. I don't think Zak would be very delighted with me dating my own physiotherapist. I don't even know if it's allowed to date a coworker," Oscar sighed. "And besides all that, I don't even know if she feels the same about me anyway. For all I know, what we did could have been purely about lust."
"I highly doubt that, to be honest," Logan stated confidently. "She wouldn't have thrown such a big fight with Lando if it didn't mean anything to her."
"You don't know that. And like I said, it doesn't matter anyway. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she loses her job over this," Oscar declared, wiping away a few more tears. "It just sucks because I love her so much."
Logan hugged his friend, trying to comfort him more. "Just promise me one thing, Oscar. Please put yourself first for once. Don't let yourself get hurt too much."
"When it comes to her, I can't promise you anything. But I'll try."
Logan stood up, hoisting Oscar up from the bed as well. "Come on, let's get you some distraction. You need it."
What Logan and Oscar didn't know was that Lando had been eavesdropping on them. He wasn't proud of himself, but to justify himself, he hadn't planned on it. He was actually on his way to apologize to Oscar, but he heard the two young drivers talking and didn't want to interrupt.
Lando was frozen in place when he saw the two walk through the door, coming eye to eye with him. The British driver looked at his teammate, noticing the bloodshot, puffy eyes. He felt the intense amount of guilt he was carrying grow even more. "Osc... I-I'm..."
Logan shook his head at Lando, pulling Oscar away from him. "Haven't you done enough already, Lando?"
"I just wanted to apologize," Lando declared, the guilt evident in his voice.
"Yeah, the damage has already been done, Lando. Please just leave him alone for now."
—————⋆₊⁺☾⋆later that evening⋆☾⋆₊⁺—————
It was almost midnight when everyone, except for Lando and you, had gone to bed. When you were getting some fresh air in the garden earlier that evening, your brother had joined you. He sat down next to you, noticing the cigarette between your fingers.
"I thought you'd quit?" he asked nonchalantly, trying to keep the conversation light.
"I did," you said, sticking it between your lips, inhaling the smoke, before slowly letting it escape again. "But then I fell in love with my brother's teammate," you whispered.
It was true, you did quit smoking, years ago. It was a habit you developed in high school. You didn't smoke often, just when it all got too much. You'd quit when the friendship with Oscar blossomed. You suddenly just didn't feel the need anymore. You always carried a pack somewhere in your bag, just in case, but honestly never felt the need to, until now. It was the first one in years.
Lando sighed, felt his breath hitching in his throat. "You really love him, don't you?"
You took another drag from your cigarette, before directing your gaze towards your older brother. Your puffy, teary eyes met his guilt-filled eyes. You nodded.
"God, I'm honestly the biggest asshole in existence," Lando declared, his eyes tearing up now, his breathing getting a little ragged.
"It's fine," you uttered.
"Y/n, honestly, it's not. Not one single bone in your body should be okay with this," he began, standing up from where he was seated, pacing around. "I completely and utterly fucked up. I just have to stop acting like a little shit and get my head out of my arse. And you are right, I’d rather have you sleeping with my teammate than some random dude in a nightclub. It's just that you are my baby sis and I just don't want you to get hurt. And if it's by one of my teammates, it just feels like I could have prevented it somehow. I'm just protective over you and I let it get to my head too much."
A small smile appeared on your face at your brother's remark. "I'm not saying you weren't being a total dick, because you were," you explained, running a hand through your hair. "I'm just saying it's fine. Oscar and I couldn't have happened anyway, Lan. You allowing it wouldn't change anything."
Lando looked a little confused. "What's holding you back?"
You took a deep breath and explained what you had explained many times, to many people, including Oscar. "It's our friendship and our jobs, Lando. I work for the team, and Oscar is a driver. There's a professional boundary that we can't cross without serious repercussions. Even if we tried to keep it secret, it would eventually come out, and that could jeopardize both our careers. And then there's the risk to our friendship. If things went wrong between us, it wouldn't just hurt me or Oscar, it would affect the whole team dynamic. It's a complicated situation, and as much as I care about him, there are too many factors at play. Sometimes love isn't enough to overcome the practical realities of life."
Lando listened, his expression softening with understanding. "I get it," he said quietly. "I don't like it, but I get it. I'm sorry for making things harder for you."
You nodded, appreciating his words. "Thanks, Lando. It means a lot to hear you say that."
"And you said that 'sometimes love isn't enough to overcome the practical realities of life,' but that also means love sometimes is enough," he began, directing his gaze back to you, his eyes meeting yours again. "And honestly, if you two are as perfect for each other as everyone says, maybe you should consider taking the risk. It might be worth it, you know."
A sigh left your lips, and you pondered his words. Maybe Lando was right. "I'll think about it."
Lando gave you a small, supportive smile. "We'll figure it out, sis. Somehow, we'll figure it out."
—————⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺—————
previous part | next part
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Taglist @aceyalonso @saachiep81 @landosgirlxoxo @andruuu28
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inkbybambi · 3 months ago
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The 141 ansgt left behind post? Oh my poor heart 😭
Mission goes to shit. 141 gets captured, split up and interrogated. Tortured.
Until they figure out how to escape. In the middle of freeing one of them, they realize you're on the other end of whatever facility you were all brought to. The opposite direction of freedom.
They can't risk it. They leave and escape. Without you. Worst part is you don't even know. You still believe they're all here with you. Still surviving with you.
You don't find out until one of the captors comes into the cell and shows CCTV footage of the 141 escaping the facility under the cover of night *without you*.
hey quick question what the fuck (affectionate, this is the exact level of angst and hurt i aspire for, ily for this)
tw: kidnapping, mention of torture, no happy ending
your captors are so fucking smug about it too, they couldn’t haven’t planned this better even if they had tried. they’re absolutely pissed that the boys got the slip on them and you’re about to be the one to pay the price for their freedom.
you cling onto this small light of hope that maybe they’ll come back for you. they just needed reinforcements. they just needed to bandage their wounds and set themselves right again. time to get a new plan together to get you out. wait it out just a little bit, but they would come back for you.
as the days slip by, that hope fades smaller and smaller. there hasn’t even been a sighting of them, a chance they were doing recon on this facility you’re trapped in like a lab rat. one of the captors comes back a week and a half after they left — a week and a half that you were still trapped there, starving and bleeding and feeling halfway to death — with the announcement that they found the 141’s safe house. that small flicker of hope trembles.
it’s vacant, they say. nothing left of them, not a single trace.
that hope extinguishes as they turn to you, one last time.
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mazeinthemiroh · 2 years ago
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Hiii, first of all I love your works soooo much you're such a good writer.
I'm craving some ansgt (with happy ending) so I was thinking of a 2 part scenario with ateez : 1. You've have a big fight 2. You're making up . Or just one of the two if you're too busy . Or anything ansgty if fine . Sorry I talk too much . Have a good day /night <3<3<3<3
ateez in an argument with their s/o (part 1)
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genre: ANGST, hurt, drama 😩
word count: 2.6k
warnings: cursing, general toxicity, obviously loads of angst
a/n: sorry this took me so fricking long to do, i wanted it to be perfect for you 🙏 let me know what you thought and send a request in the askbox for part 2 of this so you can be notified when i post it. anyone else who wants to be tagged in part to let me know~ hope you all enjoy <3
edit: here is part 2
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hongjoong
"why are you so angry about all this?"
"you gave me a reason to be angry, y/n. a very good reason."
this is what it was like on the way home. constant bickering and arguing and shouting at each other. now that you had ripped the door open to your apartment and marched into your shared bedroom, you knew the arguments were only going to continue.
"and what reason was that?" you looked him dead in the eye now. your faces were edging closer and closer to his, a defiant glare sparkling in your eyes. hongjoong glared back. his eyes were just as powerful as ever. calculative. observant. deadly.
"you knew what you were doing," his tone was lower than usual, venomous to the ears. "you knew i hated him in the first place. but you just had to have your fun."
"i was just talking to him!" your voice had an extra kick of volume now, trying to dominate and squash his intimidating presence. this was a task that proved very challenging.
"it's not my fault your jealous of every other person i speak to," you defended
"but he's not every other person though!" you could see the vein in his neck show from the intensity of his emotions. "it was him. that's the point of all this. you just wanted to get back at me for the little argument we had earlier. so you did what you thought would hurt me the most. well, there you have it. well done, you hurt me."
"wow know what, if you think i would ever intentionally hurt you, that hurts me more than anything. and maybe if we're arguing all the time, maybe we shouldn't be together at all," the tears came as quickly as they fell. you had grabbed your coat and bag, heading for the door. you didn't think anything else could hurt you. but you were wrong.
what hurt the most was that he didn't stop you.
seonghwa
seonghwa could barely look you in the eyes right now.
"look, i don't want to argue," his tone was soft, but there was a twinge of urgency that came with it. he didn't know what to do anymore. he was exhausted. he was worried. he was everything but happy.
"i don't want to argue either, hwa" you gazed over at him, looking dejected and uncomfortable. you weren't sure why you kept calling him by his little pet name because you were far from being playful at this moment. you crossed your arms over your chest as you spoke up, "but it's either we talk about this or we don't talk at all."
"why do you have to make everything so difficult?" seonghwa snapped, now looking at you with eyes of cruelty. your heart dropped.
"why does everything have to be such a big deal? why can't you just let things go?" seonghwa's voice seemed to be getting louder and louder with each question. or maybe that's just how it felt.
"you're in this relationship too, hwa" you did decide to hold onto that pet name after all; it felt like the only endearing thing you had left to say. your voice grew quiet. you didn't want to argue. you just wanted to fix this. but it felt like you were the only one.
"do you not want to fight for us? why can't you just accept that we haven't been okay for a long time," your breath heaved quickly, but your slumped posture looked like you'd been defeated. "and the only way to sort this out is by talking about it."
seonghwa scanned your face and shook his head, looking away once more. his prior outburst had settled down and now he just wanted to be alone.
"i'm done talking now," seonghwa muttered, closing his eyes. he couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth, but the hopelessness took over. "i'm done fighting for this."
you'd have never thought your boyfriend to give up so easily on something. but your relationship? you? that was something that you'd always figured he'd stick by for.
yunho
yunho had unlocked the door to your shared apartment at 2:37 in the morning. on coming home before this, he made sure to tiptoe around the apartment, hop in the shower as quietly as possible, get ready for bed as silent as anything, before making his way to the bedroom.
"oh," he muttered in mild surprise, not expecting to see you awake. you had a book in your hands that you were scarcely reading, and the lamp to your side shining bright against the darkness. "you're awake?"
"i am actually," you say in a short, sarcastic tone. your jaw tightened as you carefully placed your bookmark between the pages and set the book aside, turning off the lamp in the same movement.
yunho stood there for a moment. the room felt still and cold. he looked at you, curled up with your back to him now. he could feel the sadness fizzle in the air. he knew he messed up but he was so tired. so, so tired.
crawling into his side of the bed, he gently tugged the covers over him, not saying a word. he didn't want to speak, but he felt he owed you at least something.
"i'm sorry" he murmured, eyes flashing closed as he breathed a shaky breath out.
"how many times have you said that this week?" you replied, weakly. you were tired too. tired of his excuses, his empty promises, his apologies. they felt like nothing anymore. he had let you down too many times.
he replied with nothing. he had nothing else to say. he thought it would be wise not to say anything at all. just sleep will do. sleep for a clearer mind. even being as tired as he was, he couldn't for the life of him drift off. and neither could you.
it was a long night for both of you. and while you were inches away from each other, you could have never felt farther away.
yeosang
you had been trying to get your boyfriend to talk to you for about 15 minutes now. it was a chore. it was exhausting. but you knew something was wrong and you weren't going to let him suffer alone.
"you really like pushing people to the limits, don't you?" yeosang snapped in response to your persistence. he glared at you with watery eyes, his lips pressed in a firm, straight line.
"i'm concerned for you," you retorted back, "what, am i not allowed to care about my boyfriend anymore?"
yeosang looked away from you. he was usually quiet but this was different. it was a painful type of quiet. you knew your boyfriend all too well to know he wasn't alright. and you didn't want him to be alone and wallow in his feelings.
you took in a deeper sigh and tried a softer approach. "you can tell me anything, yeo" you slid an arm around him, but his head leaned away from you.
"you care too much, it's suffocating" yeosang closed his eyes and shook his head, "i just want to be left alone, what don't you understand about that?" his tone was harsh. you had never seen him like this, which confirmed that he wasn't himself at all.
but his brutality got to you, and before you knew it, you started tearing up. you knew you should be supportive and just accept his wishes to leave him be, but it was hard to go on when you knew he was upset. you felt so torn.
"i'm sorry," your voice cracked underneath the pressure of emotion as you began to leave the room. there was nothing more you could say to him.
yeosang finally lifted his head, his eyes following your figure as you walked away from him. there was a distinct lonely feeling that filled his heart, making it ache. the absence of you weighed heavier on him than anticipated, and he missed you. god, he missed you.
maybe he didn't want to be alone after all...
san
you had come over to spend time with your boyfriend... initially...
it wasn't your fault. you just got a bit side-tracked. yunho and wooyoung were there and it had been a while since you had spoken to them. it was such a pleasure seeing them again since you got on so well.
but san's mood was depleted. his energy zapped. he phased out of reality as you continued to chatter away to his friends, staring at the wall with a glaze over his eyes. he hadn't said a word all night.
it was only until the others left that you actually gave him attention. and that was when you realised you hadn't spoken to him all night.
"you okay, sweetie?" you placed a hand on his bicep, getting him to look into your eyes defiantly.
"don't call me that" he grumbled and pushed your hand away, his arms crossing over his chest.
"what's the matter with you?"
"i invited you round so you could spend the night with me. but you were so much more interested in wooyoung and yunho." san glared at the floor. he realised how pathetic he sounded. how desperate his tone was. but he didn't care at this point.
"i hadn't seen them in a while, san. if you wanted it to just be me in you then you could've dismissed them," you held your ground, shaking your head at his childishness. "besides, you could've joined in the conversation instead of moping about by yourself, my god."
you rolled your eyes and moved away from him in a huff. san sighed and didn't move from his position. he couldn't tell if he was being unreasonable or totally justified. all he could tell was that he was hurt and angry, so the tears stung his eyes.
"i don't get a lot of time with you, y/n," he sniffed, "but by the looks of it you were having more fun talking to them than we've had in a long time."
his jaw clenched as he felt your presence stand there, taking in his thoughts, before leaving the room altogether.
mingi
"it was just a performance, y/n. it's not a big deal."
it was a big deal. at least, to you it was. you've been supporting mingi for as long as you can remember. from the moment he debuted, you were always behind him, encouraging him from the sidelines. and his career flourished. it amazed you just how quickly it did. and with his talents came more opportunities and privileges at award shows.
you didn't realise one of those 'privileges' would be to sexy dance with another idol.
"not a big deal?" you stared at him, wide-eyed and amazed by his words. at first you wondered if you were just overreacting. but his careless brush-offs turned the alarm bells off in your head. "mingi, you have got to be kidding me. she was practically grinding all over you. i had to watch that happen, among all the other thousands of people watching."
"and so what if they watched?" mingi's voice rose in volume, causing you to flinch at the sudden severity of his voice. despite having a deep voice all the time, mingi never used such a harsh tone towards you. it made your heart drop. "it's my job. they watch me do performances all the time. just because this performance happened to be with another idol doesn't mean anything."
his words hurt you more than you could say. but your hurt was spat out in anger, something you couldn't control beyond this point.
"everyone is saying how good you look together," your voice lowered in defeat, "how you should be together. even other idols are saying that."
"is that what this is about?" mingi breathed out a laugh of disbelief before his eyes turned serious, "you're just insecure."
you would have never thought he, of all people, would say that. you lowered your head and stared at your feet.
he only realised how much he hurt you when a tear trickled down your cheek. but by that point, it was too late.
wooyoung
"y/n, i'm not in the mood."
this was a phrase you were hearing all too frequently from your boyfriend. it was enough to drive you crazy. but you had kept silent, up until now. now was the last straw.
it was like he hated you. every time you touched him he would withdraw. even light touches like holding hands or linking arms; he wanted none of it. this was so unlike him. he was the one that usually initiated the physical affection. cuddles were his speciality and he couldn't go seven minutes without holding you. and you love that. but now, everything was one-sided.
"you're not in the mood a lot these days," you commented. your intent was to sound harsh, it really was. but all he could hear was the hurt and pain in your voice, and that tugged at his heart a little. "have i done something, woo?"
"don't be like that," wooyoung sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"no but seriously. are you not attracted to me anymore? has something happened between us? what am i missing?" you pleaded for him to answer you.
"shut up, you sound ridiculous" he snapped, a firm glare shooting into your eyes. there was too much swirling around in his mind for him to take everything in. to take in how he sounded and what he said to you. you could see the unbothered, thoughtlessness in his gaze and saw that he had just given up.
"not even gonna dignify me with an answer, huh?" you sniffed back your tears as you got up from your seat, grabbing the coat you had only recently left on the chair, and making your way for the door. you needed to get away.
if he wasn't going to dignify you with an answer, you weren't going to dignify him with your presence.
jongho
you let an exasperated laugh out, but things were far from funny. in fact, you genuinely couldn't believe what you were hearing right now.
"let me get this fucking straight," the increase in volume of your voice told jongho to run, but he was no coward. he stood his ground and stared at you expectantly. "you think that your job is more important than mine? is that what i'm hearing?"
"i never ever said that," jongho immediately shot back, not missing a beat, "but my job is more physically, psychologically and emotionally demanding. that's just a fact."
"why is this a fucking competition?"
"it's not" jongho practically growled his words back. he couldn't believe that you were both caught in an argument that was so trivial. "i just get exhausted when your moaning about the struggles of your job when there's so much going on with mine."
you shook your head, arms crossing over your chest as you gritted your teeth. "am i not allowed to express myself to you? to tell you my worries? that's what boyfriends are supposed to be there for. if you're not willing to do that then-"
"then what? then i shouldn't be your boyfriend?" jongho spoke before he could think, a tendency he never had. he was losing his head to the heat of the argument; he let his emotions get the better of him.
raising your eyebrows in surprise, you stepped back from the one you loved most. you couldn't read his expression, but you sincerely hoped he regretted those words.
"if that's how you feel, then maybe you shouldn't be" your voice was soft now, weak and without sustenance. shoulders lowering, you gazed at the floor, feeling your cheeks heat up tremendously.
a hopelessness fell upon you both. the atmosphere felt so thick it was suffocating. it felt as if the light that was once between you had been extinguished.
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luvistqrzzz · 1 year ago
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TRIVIA : LOVE — enhypen hyung line oneshot series
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Finding love is not easy they say but what happens when you fall for someone at the most unexpected time in an unexpected way? — whisper a small oops and continue to fall further into the loophole of love.
aka the chronicles of a hopeless romantic soul
PAIRING && GENRE — hyung line x f!reader, can be read as stand alone oneshots, crack, ansgt, fluff, happy ending, more tba in individual fics
TAGLIST — open send an ask or comment to be added (you will be tagged for all the 4 fics) — @flwrshee @aosbie @rsmura @enhastolemyheart @yannew @sophiko22 @www-jungwon @nwjws @in-somnias-world @zzinyl @mrchweeee @ghostiiess @ilovecheese09
PERMANENT TAGLIST — @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu @nhularin @bunreis @hysgf @mochamvgz @myonos — will be added in all parts
STATUS — to be released !!
AN — TYSM FLO @dollikis FOR THE MAIN BANNER ISTG SHE'S SUCH A GENIUS 🫶🏼🥹 I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT ILYSM FLO my banners for the rest of the fic look like shit 😻🤞🏼 i feel the general summary is so cringe ( if someone comes up w a better one then pls help 😭) ALSO the fics in the series are based on rom com books tbh ive been planning and editing the masterlist for the past two weeks ahaha so idk how to feel about it... technically im still on my writing hiatus but ill try to start working on the fics after exams,,, hope yall look forward to it hehe ^_^ !!
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"It was like I was trying to memorize him — in case this was the last time I would ever see him." — (failed) STEPS TO NOT MISS YOUR EX
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There were a lot of ways your sister's wedding could have gone wrong but none of them included you crossing paths with your ex who happened to be the assistant wedding planner.  Alternatively, where you were apparently "over" Lee Heeseung but an (almost) disastrous wedding made you think otherwise.
a luvistqrzzz rendition of save the date by morgan matson — [ read here ]
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“Here's the thing about writing Happily Ever Afters: it helps if you believe in them.” — LETTERS TO YOU, ME AND THE BEACH
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When a crippling writer’s block and an almost broke bank account forces you to move to an old family home, you didn’t expect to cross paths with your arch nemesis from high school, the ever obnoxious, Park Jay. But maybe the series of events that unfold during the summer could help you with a romantic book or two.
a luvistqrzzz rendition of beach read by emily henry — [ read here ]
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“Note to self: Do not under any circumstances fall in love again.” — A 1000 WAYS BACK TO YOU
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When Jake realizes he doesn't want to be (only) friends with you anymore, you are already moving halfway around the world and he's left alone on the other side of the line. Will it take two oblivious idiots 10 years and more than a hundred missed chances to see the feelings they've been hiding for long?
a luvistqrzzz rendition of where rainbows end by cecelia ahern — [ read here ]
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"Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? But realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one.” — A STRANGER'S GUIDE TO LOVE AND CHRISTMAS
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For Sunghoon, Christmas is like any other day, only a hundred times more crowded. But then he stumbles across a notebook at the local bookstore. A notebook full of... dares. As he and the anonymous author spend the entire Christmas eve swapping stories and dreams around the city of Seoul, where will it lead Sunghoon to?
a luvistqrzzz rendition of dash and lily's book of dares by rachel cohn and david levithan — [ read here ]
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works belongs to @luvistqrzzz do not copy repost or translate my work
reblogs and feedback are heavily appreciated
networks- @hyfenet @enhanet @en-web @k-films
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